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A 25-year-old computer programmer has done what has long been
thought impossible--he has united the pro-choice feminist left
and the pro-life right. Matt Dubay of Saginaw, Michigan is the
plaintiff in a new lawsuit in which he seeks to wipe out the
child support payments he is obligated to make to an
ex-girlfriend. He says he had made it clear to her that he
didn’t want to be a father at this time, and that she got
pregnant after she had repeatedly assured him that a physical
condition rendered her sterile.
National Organization for Women
president Kim Gandy, conservative TV host Bill O’Reilly and
numerous commentators from all sides have criticized Dubay’s “Roe
v. Wade for Men” lawsuit. Yet when commentators make the
arguments against choice for men--“if a man doesn’t want to
father a child he should have used birth control,” "men need to
take responsibility whether they wanted to have the child or
not”--one can often detect a little confusion in their eyes, as
if a part of them is whispering “uh, wait a minute, but couldn’t
you say the same thing about women?”
One and a
half million American women legally walk away from motherhood
every year by adoption, abortion or abandonment, yet somehow
nobody labels them “deadbeats” or “deserters.” In over 40 states
a mother can return the baby to the hospital within a few weeks
of birth--completely opting out of motherhood with less hassle
than it takes to return a DVD to Best Buy. Yet if the mother
decides she wants to keep the child, she can demand 18 (or in
some states 21 or 23) years of child support from the father,
and he has no choice in the matter.
Feminists
have long based their support for Roe v. Wade around
the slogan "My Body, My Choice." Women’s rights legal advocate
Jennifer Brown denounced Dubay’s suit, explaining that “Roe is
based on an extreme intrusion by the government…There's nothing
equivalent for men.”
However,
100,000 men each year are jailed for alleged non-payment of
child support, and federal Office of Child Support Enforcement
data reveal that 70% of those behind on payments earn poverty
level wages. When states force a man to be financially
responsible for a child he never wanted, and jail him if he
comes up short, isn’t that a terrible state intrusion too?
Don't the sacrifices required to pay tens or hundreds of
thousands of dollars in child support over two decades take a
heavy toll on a man, too?
Research shows that many men are
unwillingly drafted into fatherhood, just as Dubay claims he
was. The National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 conducted in the
United Kingdom found that 42% of the women in the survey said
they would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant,
regardless of the wishes of their partners. According to
research conducted by Joyce Abma of the National Center for
Health Statistics and Linda Piccinino of Cornell University,
over a million American births each year result from pregnancies
which men did not intend.
Under choice for men, unmarried
fathers would have a one-time right to relinquish their parental
rights and responsibilities within a month of learning of a
pregnancy, just as mothers do when they choose to give their
children up for adoption. Women would still be free to exercise
all of the reproductive choices they now have.
Gandy, O’Reilly, Brown and others
claim that the current system is necessary because it protects
children. In reality, over time choice for men would greatly
benefit American children--if women knew that they could not
compel unmarried men to pay to support children they did not
agree to have, the number of unwed births (and the huge social
problems associated with them) would be reduced. Choice for men
means better parenting because more men will be able to become
fathers when they’re married, willing, and stable--a huge
benefit for children.
Women’s advocates correctly note
that pregnant women often have legitimate reasons for not
wanting to be mothers, including youth, finances and the lack of
a suitable relationship or marriage. Yet all of these apply
equally to men. Women have a choice--men should, too.
This article first appeared in the
Saginaw News (4/2/06).
Jeffery M. Leving
is one of America's most prominent family law attorneys.
He is the author of the book Fathers' Rights:
Hard-hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved
in a Custody Dispute. His website is
www.dadsrights.com.
Glenn
Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's
largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com or
via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
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