Why I Launched the Campaign Against
Verizon's
Anti-Father Ad
By Glenn Sacks
A mother attempts to help her son with his homework, and fails.
The son is annoyed with his mother's ignorance, and turns to his
father with a look which says "obviously females can't do
math--get her out of here." The father tells the mother to go
wash the dishes. When she is slow to comply, he orders her away
from her son, and then he yells at her.
Is it a Public Service Announcement from the National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence? A clip from a documentary about life
in the 1880s? No, it is a regularly aired commercial from one of
America's largest companies. The difference is that in the real
ad it is the father who is portrayed as ignorant and useless as
he tries to help his daughter.
This week 2,000 of my radio show listeners sent letters to
Verizon Communications protesting the insulting portrayal of the
father in its commercial "Homework." Our protest has been
covered by over 300 newspapers and media outlets. The Verizon
ad's message is clear, and it's a common one on the TV
screen--dad is dumb, dad is useless, mom is smarter than dad,
hell, even an eight year-old girl is smarter than dad.
One ad would not elicit such fervent responses from so many men
and women of all ages were it not symptomatic of a larger
problem in our society--the denigration of males in popular
culture, and the decline of fatherhood.
Some letters have been from
boys as young as twelve who see and are disturbed by negative
portrayals of males. One grandmother wrote of her seven year-old
grandson, who announced one day that "mothers are smart, fathers
are not." When the surprised grandmother asked him where he
learned that, he replied "on TV."
Other supporters are men who shoulder a male double burden
rarely mentioned--working long hours to be the family's primary
breadwinner, yet at the same time struggling to play a
substantial role in their children's day to day lives. One of
these fathers told Verizon, "when I look around I see men
working 50 hours a week or more to support their families, and
still managing to help their children with their homework, read
them bedtime stories, and be fine role models. Why can't I see
any men like that when I turn on the TV?"
Still other protests have come from divorced or separated
fathers who have been pushed to the margins of their children's
lives. The image of a father being berated while trying to help
his child with homework--and then of the child siding with the
mother in their mutual contempt for dad--struck a chord with
many of these dispossessed dads. Today one out of every three
American children lives apart from his or her father.
The fact that the father is being humiliated by and in front of
his daughter also fuels the fire. One father sent me his letter
of protest to Verizon, adding "I never knew what love really was
until I had a daughter." I understood. Of all the bonds between
family members, those between fathers and daughters are often
the most tender. Yet at the same time, these bonds can be the
most tenuous. Many protesters have written to me of the
father-daughter bond that was, but that didn't survive divorce,
separation, or time.
Some of my critics, such as radio personalities Tony Snow and
Dori Munson, say that it's only a commercial, and that we're
overreacting. Yet we all agree that it's harmful to portray
women as incapable of doing men's jobs, or blacks as being
unable to achieve what whites can achieve. Why would the same
principles not apply to the denigration of fathers? It is with
this in mind that many mental health professionals have publicly
endorsed our campaign and condemned the ad.
Susan Lee of the Wall Street Journal Editorial Board
accuses me of "working with a really outmoded notion of
patriarchy." But is it "patriarchal" to respect a mother's or
father's parental authority and dignity?
As I told my listeners when I announced the campaign, I'm sure
that Verizon does not mean any harm. Like many, they have
developed a moral blind spot towards disparaging males. Our
campaign seeks to change that.
This column was first published in the
Pasadena Star-News & Affiliated Papers (11/18/04) and
the
Daily Breeze [Los Angeles]
(11/19/04).
To learn more about the campaign against
Verizon's anti-father ad, click
here.
Glenn
Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's
largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com or
via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
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