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The recent announcement from the
National Center for Health Statistics that the out-of-wedlock birth rate is at
an all-time high is bad news for America’s children. It would be easier to
understand, perhaps, if it were naive teenage mothers who were creating this
trend. However, according to the new NCHS study, the trend--which is creating
1.5 million babies a year--is being driven by adult women, many of whom are in
their 30s and 40s and are choosing single motherhood. They should know better.
The rates of the four major youth
pathologies--teen pregnancy, teen drug abuse, school dropouts and juvenile
crime--are tightly correlated with fatherlessness, often more so than with any
other socioeconomic factor, including income and race. The research is clear
that children need fathers, not simply as breadwinners, but also for the
valuable parenting--and fathering--they provide.
For example, a long-term study of
teen pregnancy rates was conducted in the United States and in New Zealand and
published in the journal Child Development. The study concluded that a
father’s absence greatly increases the risk of teen pregnancy. The researchers
found that it mattered little whether the child was rich or poor, black or
white, born to a teen mother or an adult mother, or raised by parents with
functional or dysfunctional marriages. What mattered was dad.
There are various popular
interpretations of the out-of-wedlock trend. One is to blame men who, we are
told, routinely impregnate naïve, hapless women and then abandon them. However,
given modern women's birth control and reproductive options, when women have
children outside of marriage, it’s usually because they want to.
Nevertheless, our society often
goes to great lengths to see unwed mothers as victims. The highly-publicized
Fadia Ward case provides a good example. Ward founded
www.sorryassbabydaddies.com to publicly shame “deadbeat dads” and “take
their manhood away." She has appeared on ABC News Now, Black
Entertainment Television, BBC Radio, Good Day Philadelphia, and many
others, and has been portrayed as a heroine in numerous newspaper articles. Few
have challenged her assertion that she bears no responsibility for her
situation, even though she had four children by four different men by the age of
27.
Another explanation for the rise
in single motherhood is that it’s a symbol of women's increasing independence
and empowerment. According to this view, it’s hard to find a good man, so women
are justified in having kids on their own, and we should be happy that
yesterday’s unfair stigma against out-of-wedlock births is gone.
Two of the leading proponents of
this view are Rosanna Hertz, Ph.D., author of the new book Single by Chance,
Mothers by Choice: How Women Are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and
Creating the New American Family, and Peggy Drexler, Ph.D., who last year
released Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next
Generation of Exceptional Men.
Drexler portrays father-absent
homes—particularly “single mother by choice” homes—as the best environments for
raising boys. Hertz concludes that “intimacy between husbands and wives [is]
obsolete as the critical familial bond." For her, fathers aren’t necessary—in
fact, "what men offer today is obsolete."
Our children would beg to differ.
Studies of children of divorce confirm their powerful desire to retain strong
connections to their fathers. For example, an Arizona State University study of
college-age children of divorce found that the overwhelming majority believed
that after a divorce "living equal amounts of time with each parent is the best
arrangement for children."
Famed athlete Bo Jackson provided
a heart-wrenching depiction of a child’s father hunger in his autobiography, the
first chapter of which is devoted to the father he didn’t have. Jackson
explained that as a child, when he wanted something, “I could beat on other kids
and steal…[but] I couldn't steal a father. I couldn't steal a father's hug when
I needed one."
There are some unwed mothers who really are victims.
As a society we're very aware of the ways some men misuse their power,
particularly in the family. Now, however, it’s time to take a hard look at the
ways some women misuse their power. Needlessly creating fatherless babies is one
of them.
This column first appeared in the Washington Times
(12/4/06).
Jeffery
M. Leving is one of America's most prominent family law attorneys. He is the
author of the new HarperCollins book
Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes, and Top
Maneuvers When Divorce Gets Ugly. His website is
www.dadsrights.com.
Glenn
Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's
largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com or
via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
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