|
Divorced or separated military parents often
lose custody of their children--and sometimes
permanently forfeit any meaningful role in their
lives--simply because they have served their
country. Many married parents deploy overseas,
never suspecting that their parenthood
essentially ended the day they left home.
The divorce rate in
the Armed Forces has skyrocketed during the long
deployments necessitated by the conflicts in
Iraq and Afghanistan. The scenario is a common
one--a marriage crumbles during a long
separation, and the stateside military
spouse moves to another state and files for
divorce, knowing that he or she is virtually
certain to gain custody through the divorce
proceedings in the new state. Given service
personnel’s limited ability to travel, the high
cost of legal representation and travel, and the
financial hardships created by child support and
spousal support obligations, it is extremely
difficult for the deployed parent to fight for
his or her parental rights in the new state.
For example, in one highly-publicized California
case, Gary S., a San Diego-based US Navy SEAL,
was deployed to Afghanistan after the September
11 terrorist attacks, and served in the Tora
Bora region as US forces attacked Taliban and Al
Qaeda strongholds. While away, Gary's little son
was permanently moved out of the country, with
the complicity of a California family court. The
19-year Navy veteran with an unblemished
military record has seen his son only a few
times since he returned from Afghanistan, and
has been pushed near bankruptcy by legal fees
and stiff child and spousal support obligations.
In other cases, the children are not relocated
but deployed servicemembers permanently lose
custody because they “abandoned” their children
by serving. In one widely-reported Michigan
case, National Guardsman Joe McNeilly of Grand
Ledge lost custody of his 10-year-old son after
serving in Iraq for 15 months. Before deploying,
McNeilly agreed to cede temporary full custody
to his son’s mother. Upon his return, however,
the court refused to restore the shared custody
arrangement McNeilly and his son enjoyed before
his deployment, citing McNeilly’s absence.
In the recent
Mercer County, New Jersey case Grother v.
Keenan, lieutenant Scott Keenan, an
intelligence officer in the Naval Reserves,
deployed overseas for three weeks around
September 11 as part of the government's extra
security measures. Because of his deployment,
Keenan wasn't able to exercise all of his
allotted parenting time with his elementary
school-age boys. Ignoring Keenan's special
circumstances, Superior Court Judge F. Lee
Forrester permanently reduced his parenting time
by 20%.
Because more women
are serving in the Armed Forces, this problem is
no longer limited to military fathers. For
example, in the Regina Ellis case, KMBC TV in
Kansas City reports that Ellis lost custody of
her son to her ex-husband after she spent a year
serving in Iraq, and can now only see her son
every other weekend.
Five years after the United States began major
foreign military commitments, only a handful of
states have acted to protect the rights of
military parents, and the federal government has
abdicated its responsibility to protect those
who serve.
The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act of 2003--the
successor to the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil
Relief Act of 1940 and other legislation which
dates all the way back to the Civil
War--protects active military personnel by
mandating that civil actions against them be
delayed until after their return from service.
However, partly because this type of relief
began before the era of widespread divorce and
out-of-wedlock births, it was not widely
perceived to pertain to family law proceedings.
As a result, many judges don't apply the
protections the SCRA affords.
The federal government needs to update the Act
to specifically apply to family courts. This
will ensure that courts stay any long range
legal action until after the servicemember has
returned from deployment and has had a fair
opportunity to assert his or her parental
rights. The SCRA update must also specifically
prohibit children from being permanently
relocated long distances.
Some progress is being made. Widespread sympathy
for McNeilly led to a bill signed by Michigan
Governor Jennifer Granholm in December which
prevents changes of custody while a military
service member is deployed, and prohibits family
courts from using servicemembers' service
against them when determining custody. Outrage
over Gary S.'s case led to a California military
parents' bill which Governor
Schwarzenegger signed into law last September.
Gary says that he
and others he serves with have been shocked by
how little has been done to protect military
parents. He says:
“Washington’s
indifference to this situation is disgraceful.
No parent should ever be pushed out of his
child's life because he served his country.”
This column first appeared
in the Tucson Citizen, the Trenton
Times and the Macon Telegraph,
11/11/06.
Jeffery
M. Leving is the author of the book
Fathers' Rights: Hard-hitting and
Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody
Dispute. His website is
www.dadsrights.com.
Glenn
Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's
largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com or
via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
|
