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October is the 12th annual Domestic
Violence Awareness Month, and activists, politicians and the media are focusing
the nation's attention on violence against women. However, October's events only
tell part of the story. Research clearly establishes that women are frequently
the aggressors in domestic combat, often employing the element of surprise and
weapons to compensate for men’s strength.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, men
comprise over 35% of all domestic violence victims. A meta-analytic review of
552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin
found that 38% of the physical injuries in heterosexual domestic assaults are
suffered by men.
The National Institute of Mental Health funded and
oversaw two of the largest studies of domestic violence ever conducted, both of
which found equal rates of abuse between husbands and wives. California State
Long Beach University professor Martin Fiebert maintains an online bibliography
summarizing 174 scholarly investigations, with an aggregate sample size
exceeding 160,000, which conclude "women are as physically aggressive, or more
aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male
partners."
Nevertheless, many states still define domestic
violence as a crime only committed against women, and exclude male victims and
their children from receiving state-funded DV services.
The cost of these
misguided policies is very real, and children are often the ones who bear it. In
one widely-reported case, Maegan Black, a young Sacramento, California woman,
spent a nightmarish childhood trapped in a home with a violent, abusive mother.
Black’s father David was partially disabled, and financially dependent on his
wife. David and Maegan attempted on numerous occasions to get help from DV
service providers, and were consistently rebuffed. Black, now 22, says:
"Nobody would help…everyone told me I didn't
understand, that my mother couldn't possibly be the violent party. When the
police came they'd always be ready to arrest my father, and it was up to me to
scream as loud as possible that it was my mommy and not my daddy, so they
wouldn't take him away and leave me alone with her.”
In another high-profile case, Socorro Caro often
abused her husband Xavier, a prominent Northridge, California rheumatologist,
once assaulting him so badly he had to have surgery to regain his sight in one
eye. Because the domestic violence, criminal justice and family law systems are
largely incapable of seeing a man as a DV victim, Xavier couldn’t take his
children and leave. Because of his wife’s violent nature, he couldn’t walk away
and leave his children behind. Socorro later shot and killed three of their four
children, for which she was convicted and sentenced to death.
Current DV policies are so at odds with research and
reality that many domestic violence researchers and treatment providers are
rebelling against the DV establishment. Earlier this year over 50 of these
authorities signed a letter urging the California legislature to stop the
state’s policy of excluding male victims and their children from DV services.
According to signatory John Hamel, LCSW, a
court-certified batterer treatment provider, research shows that children who
witness their mothers abusing their fathers are just as likely to assault their
intimate partners when they are adults as those who saw their fathers assault
their mothers. Hamel, the author of Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate
Partner Abuse: A Comprehensive Approach, told legislators:
“Men account for half of all DV victims and incur a third of DV-related
injuries. There is an overwhelming, irrefutable body of research indicating that
children are adversely affected by witnessing interparental violence, regardless
of the perpetrator’s gender. Ignoring female-on-male violence inhibits our
efforts to combat domestic violence.”
This
article has appeared in the
Omaha World Herald,
Daytona Beach
News-Journal
and the Louisville
Courier-Journal
in October 2006.
Mike
McCormick is the Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and
Children, the world’s largest shared parenting organization.
Their
website
is
www.acfc.org.
Glenn Sacks serves on the advisory board of Stop Abuse for
Everyone, an international domestic violence organization. His
columns have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the
United States. His website is
www.GlennSacks.com.
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