Men and women who believe that children need both their parents
to be integral parts of their lives will be rallying at the
state capitol in observance of Equal Parents Week this Thursday.
The rally, sponsored by Dads of Michigan, Moms for Dads, and the
Children's Rights Council, will highlight the national tragedy
of fatherlessness and call for family law reforms which will
allow parents to share both parental rights and responsibilities
equitably.
US Census Bureau data show that 84% of all custodial parents are
mothers. Noncustodial parents, usually fathers, often struggle
to remain a part of their children's lives. Fathers have little
chance of getting joint physical custody of their children, and
standard visitation is only a few days a month.
Visitation interference is a major problem for divorced dads.
According to research conducted by Joan Berlin Kelly, author of
Surviving the Break-up, 50 percent of mothers "see no
value in the father's continued contact with his children after
a divorce." This was echoed by the American Journal of
Orthopsychiatry report "Frequency of Visitation by Divorced
Fathers," which noted that "40 percent of mothers reported that
they had interfered with the noncustodial father's visitation on
at least one occasion, to punish their ex-spouse."
Many other dads have been locked out of their children's lives
because their ex-wives have moved their children hundreds or
even thousands of miles away.
Yet the presence of a father in a child's life is the largest
single predictor of whether a child will graduate high school,
attend college, become involved in crime or drugs, or get
pregnant. Children without fathers are more likely to be
suspended or expelled from school, and they attend fewer days of
school and fewer years of school.
Fatherless children score far lower on college entrance exams
and are considerably more likely to be unemployed both in their
teens and their early 20s. According to the US Department of
Health and Human Services, they are five times more likely to
commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high
school, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.
A solution to the problem of fatherlessness now lies before the
Michigan legislature. Michigan House Bill 4664, also known as
the "Parental Parity Bill," would create equality between
divorcing couples by replacing the sole physical custody norm
with the presumption of joint legal and physical custody. Judges
would be able to deviate from this shared parenting arrangement
only if there is clear and convincing evidence that one of the
parents has committed acts which render that parent unfit, such
as child abuse or domestic violence.
If divorcing parents are unable to agree on a shared parenting
plan, the courts would be required to develop a plan which would
afford both parents equitable custody and parenting time.
Parents who refuse to comply with the parenting plan risk losing
their share of parenting time. The bill, which was drafted by
Dads of Michigan and Moms for Dads, was sponsored by
Representative Andrew Raczkowski (R-Farmington Hills) and
currently resides with the Michigan House of Representatives'
Committee on Civil Law and the Judiciary.
Destructive and costly custody battles are endemic to the
current adversarial custody system, and they are fueled by
parents' fear that they will be expelled from their children's
lives. By replacing winners and losers with equals, shared
parenting removes much of the anger and conflict from divorce.
Shared parenting also encourages cooperation and even
reconciliation between troubled couples because each divorcing
parent will know that, barring proof of abuse, they will not be
able to drive the other parent out of their children's lives.
In addition, because shared parenting leaves few legal issues
for divorcing couples to fight over, parents save on the costly
court and legal fees which take money away from their children,
and which drive many divorced couples into bankruptcy. And,
according to the US Census Bureau, 83% of noncustodial fathers
with both joint custody and visitation privileges pay child
support.
Under this bill children would gain from the ongoing emotional,
physical, and financial support of both parents. Unlike the
current win/lose adversarial court system, shared parenting says
to parents "you are still mom and dad." Most important of all,
it tells children, "you haven't lost a parent."
This is the full version of a column which originally ran in the
Lansing State Journal (9/26/02). To read the exact
version which ran in the Lansing State Journal, go to
http://www.glennsacks.com/equal_parents_week_cl.