Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use
custody calendar software program designed
for divorced families to track visitation
schedules. Includes a built-in percentage
calculator, schedule templates, free
training and excellent customer assistance.
Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and
mediators can generate equitable parenting
plans, which is especially useful for
parents seeking fair division of their
children's time. FREE TRIAL SOFTWARE
AVAILABLE by clicking
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women
in blended families are looking for:
Remarriage, divorce, child custody,
and step parenting discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way; articles
and news written by thought-provoking
experts and journalists; personal accounts
and advice from some of life's most
Feminist Columnist Slams Glenn, ACFC Over North
Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative
weeks ago Mike McCormick, Executive Director
of the American
Coalition for Fathers and Children, and
North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative Will
Help Children of Divorce (Grand Forks
Herald, 7/18/06) in defense of the
Shared Parenting Initiative. The Initiative
is sponsored by the local
On Sunday the opposition fired back with
Don't force 'shared parenting' on children
(Grand Forks Herald, 7/30/06). The column
was penned by feminist blogger Trish Wilson,
a longtime opponent of the shared parenting
Wilson's principal argument is that shared
parenting "should not be forced on parents."
What Wilson really means is that, after a
divorce, mothers should not have to share custody
of their children with the children's fathers
if the don't want to.
This presupposes that the kids really only belong
to mom, and courts are unfairly "forcing" mom
to share the kids with dad. However, moms and
dads should appear before the court as absolute
If one switches the genders and looks at
families where the father is the primary caregiver
(and thus the one to presumably gain sole custody),
this feminist presumption looks pretty ugly.
I switched the genders in my column
California NOW Takes Stand Against Working Mothers
(Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 2/23/04). Two
years later, I still have never heard a reasonable
feminist rejoinder to the argument I laid out
in that column.
Wilson writes that "ninety percent of parents
settle without the need for court intervention
in deciding what form of custody is best for
them and for their children." This statement
is very misleading, because it implies genuine
agreement between parents. Yet such accords
aren't made in a vacuum--they're bargained in
the shadow of the law. What happens in
most cases is that fathers must agree to having
a very limited role in their children's lives
because they don't have the tens of thousands
of dollars (or more) necessary to fight for
shared parenting in family law proceedings which
are heavily stacked against them.
Wilson surprised me a bit by writing "When
dads make an issue of custody, they get some
form of it more than half the time...The Massachusetts
(gender bias) task force, for example, reported
that fathers get primary or joint custody in
more than 70 percent of contested cases." This
has been discredited for a long time, and I'm
surprised that Wilson, who does have some knowledge
(albeit twisted) of family law, would cite it.
In my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05) family law attorney Jeff Leving
and I wrote:
"Misguided women's advocates
often claim that fathers usually win custody
when they pursue it, and that the reason few
fathers have custody is because few of them
want it. Boston Globe columnist Cathy
Young examined the research upon which these
claims are based and concluded that they belong
in the 'Phony Statistics Hall of Fame.'
"For example, feminist psychologist
Phyllis Chesler claimed in her book Mothers
on Trial that fathers win 70% of custody
battles. However, this widely cited factoid
was based on a biased, pre-selected sample of
60 women who had been referred by feminist lawyers
or women's aid groups because they had custody
"Other claims are based on the
1989 Gender Bias Study of the Massachusetts
Supreme Judicial Court, which reported that
when fathers seek custody, they win primary
or joint physical custody 70 percent of the
time. Yet this figure does not separate contested
from uncontested custody bids, and showed that
in bids for sole custody mothers were still
far more successful than fathers. The study
also notes that 'women who lose custody often
[have] mental, physical, or emotional handicaps'--in
other words, when fathers win it's usually only
because the mother has obvious problems...
"mothers rarely lose custody
of their children to anyone, ever. For example,
a Stanford study of 1,000 divorced couples selected
at random found that divorcing mothers were
awarded sole custody four times as often as
divorcing fathers in contested custody cases.
An Ohio study published in Family Advocate
found that fathers seeking sole custody obtain
it in less than 10% of cases, and a Utah study
conducted over 23 years found similar results.
According to researcher Robert Seidenberg, a
study of all divorce-custody decrees in Arlington
County, Virginia over an 18 month period failed
to find even one father who was given sole or
even joint custody of his children unless the
mother agreed to it.
"In the study 'Child custody
arrangements: a study of two New Jersey counties'
published in the Journal of Psychiatry &
Law, New Jersey mental health experts
researched hundreds of custody cases in two
New Jersey counties, Bergen (one of the wealthiest)
and Essex (one of the poorest). Rich man
or poor man, for these New Jersey fathers it
didn't matter--in either county they won custody
in only one out of every 20 cases."
Wilson lists various reasons
why she thinks children fare poorly under shared
parenting. In the
original column we cited research showing
that kids do best in shared parenting arrangements.
Wilson does generously allow
that in some cases shared parenting is best.
"In the cases where shared parenting
has worked, the families had these qualities
in common: The parents had an amicable relationship,
their divorce was amicable with little or no
conflict, they had higher-than-average incomes,
they had only one child, neither parent (especially
the father) had remarried, they lived within
close proximity of each other, they had flexible
job schedules, the child could handle the shared
parenting arrangement, the parents chose freely
between themselves to try shared parenting -
and they chose to make it work."
This would throw the gate wide open for shared
parenting for all of about 2% of divorcing couples.
To join the debate over shared
parenting in the Grand Forks Herald,
write a Letter to the Editor concerning our
Initiative helps children of divorce (7/18/06)
Don't force 'shared parenting' on children
by clicking on
Observant readers will note
that while I have linked to Wilson's column
here, on Wilson's site she has her column
posted but no link to mine. Wilson and I have
clashed on many occasions and, as far as I can
tell, she has never linked to my work, while
I have always linked to her work so my readers
can read and consider for themselves our opponents'
Boy Mistakenly Threatened With Jail For
Being Deadbeat Dad
Child support enforcement is notorious for its
bureaucratic mix-ups and its inability to fix
them, but even by their standards this Orlando,
Mistakenly Threatened With Jail For Being Deadbeat
Dad (Local6.com, FL) is extreme:
"A childless teenager in Orange County, Fla.,
was threatened with jail for not paying thousands
of dollars in child support despite efforts
by his mother to clear up the identity mistake.
"The report featured Timothy Williams, who received
letters asking that he pay child support for
"'At first I thought it was funny but it just
kept coming and coming and coming,' Williams
"The first letter came in April.
"'It was from the Department of Revenue stating
that my son was past due in child support payment,'
mother Arnell Williams said. 'I was like, 'Wow.'
"The woman said she took the letters to the
child support enforcement office in downtown
"'I spoke to the young lady at the window who
said she will make sure it will get taken care
of,' Williams said.
"'But the letters kept
coming,' Local 6 reporter Nancy Alvarez said.
'So did a payment booklet and court orders,
all of it for money owed to three different
women for several children, including some who
were older than Timothy. But the state still
thought the teen was their dad.'
"With the documents threatening arrest if Timothy
did not pay up, Williams called the Department
of Revenue in Tallahassee.
"However, the letters
continued to come to Williams. She then called
the Problem Solvers.
"Local 6 News discovered that the real Timothy
Williams is a man with a long criminal record.
"Last month, Jennifer Wilson called the Problem
Solvers after the state sent three of her child
support payments to the wrong address.
"The Department of Revenue blamed the mix up
on a new computer system."
I love it--here
we have an outrageous error, and the woman can't
get it solved through the department, and it
takes the media to get the injustice fixed.
I wish I could say I was surprised.
I've written about child support errors on
numerous occasions. In my co-authored column
Memphis Commercial Appeal, Chest-Thumping
Sheriff Humiliate Hard Luck Noncustodial Parents
(Tennessee Tribune, 4/27/06) we provided
some examples of the way "innocent people have
been vilified and subjected to public ridicule"
when child support enforcement agencies publicize
"most wanted deadbeat parent" lists. We wrote:
"...when the Louisville Courier-Journal
published the names and addresses of 1,000 alleged
child support scofflaws in July of last year
on behalf of Jefferson County Attorney Irv Maze,
they listed James H. Frazier as a deadbeat who
owes $57,000. Unfortunately, they listed his
name above the home address of James R. Frazier.
"WAVE 3 TV in Louisville reported
that James R. Frazier and his wife Bertha--both
of whom seethed at being publicly humiliated--had
been erroneously targeted by Maze before, and
had spent years fighting to straighten out the
error. Maze's office had previously acknowledged
its mistake--and then went ahead and published
the erroneous information anyway. In fact, as
of October 1--over two months later--Maze still
had not corrected the error on his list of 1,000
'deadbeats' on the County Attorney's website.
"ABC 7 KGO News in San Francisco,
California has followed the saga of Alex Mendez,
a childless man who has been mistakenly targeted
for alleged overdue child support five times
in the past three years by two different counties.
After embarrassing media coverage, local enforcement
officials repeatedly pledged to fix the error
but have failed to do so.
"The list published by the
Commercial Appeal appears to have similar
problems. Memphis' News Channel 3 WREG quotes
a juvenile court source as saying that some
of those on the list may have already paid their
child support. Nicholas Burchett of WREG was
shocked and angered to find his father listed
as a 'deadbeat'--the man has been dead for 14
"Eyewitness News-WPTY reports
that the Department of Human Services lost thousands
of dollars of child support paid by Hugh Jones
of Memphis, leaving Jones with a $10,000 child
support arrearage. According to WPTY, DHS cashed
Jones' checks six times but, despite Jones'
detailed documentation, has failed to credit
his account. WPTY reports that Jones 'has to
continue paying his child support if he wants
to remain a free man' and avoid jail, even though
his 'debt' consists of money he has already
In the case of Herbert L. Chalmers, a St. Louis,
Missouri child support obligor, the state's
wage garnishment to pay child support for his
adult children left him only $400 a month to
live on. Chalmers asserted that he was being
vastly overcharged, and that he was unable to
get the error fixed. In April Chalmers exploded,
going on a murderous rampage before committing
suicide. In the ensuing investigation the Missouri
Department of Social Services admitted that
for the past several years Chalmers was being
garnisheed five times more in support than he
actually owed. The DSS blamed a clerical error.
To learn more about the Chalmers case, see
I Couldn't Be Less Surprised
If you're a California child support obligor
with this type of problem, write to me about
it by clicking
Finally What Child Support Payers
Child Support obligors face
a stacked deck when squaring
off against CS Enforcement's
army of lawyers and agents,
all pitted against some beleaguered
father who's working 50 hours
a week to pay his child support
and support his family. The
burden of proving compliance
with court-ordered support falls
on the obligor, not the custodial
parent or the enforcement agencies.
Very often fathers are forced
to pay money they don't really
owe, or are saddled with fake
arrearages and the concomitant
interest and penalties.
Since the state provides
a ton of free assistance to
custodial parents, fathers need
quality, affordable representation
for these battles.
Child Support Liberation's Child
Support Audits and Record Management
Program helps obligors challenge
arrears by producing professional,
top-quality self-audits which
include all the necessary records
in the proper form.
CSARMP then conducts quarterly
audits that will alert obligors
to overcharges. In addition,
they will maintain ongoing records
of obligations, payments and
CSARMP costs only $13 a
month ($38 for the first month
only) and can be cancelled with
only 30 days notice. To learn
more or to sign up, click
here. If you have any questions,
write to Michael Kennedy of
Child Support Liberation
Women's Advocate Criticizes Me on PAS
in the Providence Journal
In early July
I sparred with feminist Anne Grant over Parental
Alienation Syndrome in the
Journal--see my co-authored column
Protect Children from Alienation
The discredited 'Parental Alienation Syndrome'
(6/27/06). PAS occurs when one parent has turned
his or her children against the other parent,
destroying the loving bonds the children and
the target parent once enjoyed.
Last week Grant fired back at me and my co-author,
family law attorney Jeff Leving, in her extended
Alienation smacks of Stockholm Syndrome
Journal, 7/21/06). Grant opens by writing
that I "have rushed here from California
to rally the troops in support of the so-called
Parental Alienation Syndrome," to which I thought
Grant criticizes my short narration of the
Amy Neustein case, one of the most highly-publicized
PAS cases. In
Protect Children from Alienation we wrote:
"Neustein's now adult daughter, Sherry Orbach,
publicly refuted her mother's claims last year,
writing that when she was a child her mother
'would begin by telling me a sordid--and false--story
about my father...She then instructed me to
repeat the story word for word until she was
satisfied with my rendition.' According to Orbach:
"'My father never sexually abused me...I...owe
my existence as a normal young adult to the
family judges...who helped me reunite with my
father in the face of considerable opposition
in the media.'"
"Photographs suggest another story. The smiling
6-year-old became a different child after the
Brooklyn, N.Y. Family Court kept concerned experts
from testifying, and awarded her father sole
custody. By the age of 8, Sherry appeared dazed
and emaciated, and lurid in scarlet lipstick
and nail polish."
I've seen the picture Grant refers to, and
don't find it particularly convincing. The girl
could be emaciated, or she could just be a normal
girl. My daughter is also 8 years old, and there
are several kids in her second grade class who
look just as thin as Sherry did in the picture.
And Grant's comment that Orbach looks "lurid
in scarlet lipstick and nail polish" is the
product of an overactive imagination. My daughter
and her friends sometimes play with lipstick,
and my wife and my daughter often get manicures
and pedicures together--is my little girl "lurid,"
Grant writes that "People held hostage at
any age soon identify with their abusers; like
Sherry Orbach, they will say or do whatever
is required. Yes, they are being alienated,
but not by 'Parental Alienation Syndrome.' Their
scientifically predictable behavior is called
the Stockholm Syndrome."
Sherry Orbach wrote the refutation of her
mother's claims at age 24--hardly a "hostage"
of her father or anybody else.
To read Grant's full criticism of our article,
here. To join the debate on PAS in the
Journal, write a Letter to the
Editor by clicking
Attention California Child Support
Compromise of Back Child Support
Program, when money is owed
to the government (not the mother),
the government may compromise
on back child support for up
to 90% off. This law was passed
in recognition of the fact that
there have been many inequitable
child support judgments that
can no longer be appealed. We
operate anywhere in California--to
learn more about this program,
contact family law attorney
Robert Ackermann at (310) 442-8240
Accurate Paternity Testing
There are many important reasons
why people choose to have a
paternity test done. A child
is entitled to the sense of
belonging and identity that
comes from knowing his/her parents.
An alleged father also has the
right to know if a child is
biologically his. Paternity
fraud in the United States is
unfortunately a fairly common
occurrence, affecting perhaps
millions of men. Now you can
get the accurate, fast and affordable
answers to your paternity questions.
or call 877-434-0292 to talk
to a DNA testing expert or to
order a confidential test today.
Do You and Your Kids Go Camping?
The WoodGas Camp Stove burns
almost any fuel nature provides--including
twigs, pine cones or any plant
based fuel--and provides the
cleanest heat in even the remotest
area. It's light and compact
and it burns for long cooking
sessions--great for camping,
backpacking, or smores anywhere.
Developed by a scientist with
30+ years experience in biomass
energy, it generates the heat
of a normal kitchen stove, and
is great for emergency preparedness.
Second Marriage Struggles: Alec Baldwin and
Long Time Girlfriend Separate, Blame Pressure
from Basinger Custody Battle
Baldwin Splits From Girlfriend (San Francisco
"Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin has split from
his long-term girlfriend Nicole Seidel after
four years together.
"Friends of actor and leading lawyer Seidel
have blamed the pressure of Baldwin's bitter
and protracted custody battle with his ex-wife
Kim Basinger for the break-up.
"A pal tells Page Six, 'The stress of the
custody hearings took its toll. They're still
friends, and Alec thinks Nicole's great.'"
I have no idea to what degree the above reflects
the real reasons for the Baldwin-Seidel separation,
but I do know that the mistreatment of fathers
in family court often puts tremendous strain
on second marriages. In my co-authored column
Tennessee Appellate Court Sends Message: Second
Families Count (Memphis Commercial Appeal,
8/23/02) we wrote:
"[anti-father family court bias] often makes
it impossible for men to be fathers to the children
of their first marriages, and also necessitates
costly legal battles which can drain second
families' financial resources. Second families
are often left feeling that they must always
maintain a permanent defensive posture, and
that they have lost control over their own lives."
I've discussed Baldwin's custody battle on
Kim Basinger's Mom: Kim is 'Alienating' Her
Daughter from Alec Baldwin and
Alec Baldwin Defamed.
Stop Feeling Like a Wicked Step-Parent
On the subject of second families and step-parents,
Second Wives Club, which has a lot of good
material on divorce-related issues, recently
had an interesting article called
Stop feeling like a wicked step-parent.
In the article
Linda Lewis Griffith, a marriage and family
"Why are inherited children so difficult?
The answers are varied and complex. First off,
new step-parents have had no input into their
inherited children's lives. The kids may exhibit
behaviors that cause their step-parents to gasp.
But the same people must warmly accept these
juvenile charges into their lives.
"To make matters even worse, the new step-parents
have little control over their inherited kids.
Because they are not the biological parents,
they have minimal authority over the children's
discipline, schoolwork or chores...
"Inherited children have often had compromised
upbringings because of disruptions in their
lives. They may have experienced unstable living
arrangements, intense arguing between their
parents, multiple step-parents or drug or alcohol
abuse. As a result, they can be needier and
even more challenging to parent.
"Inherited children might also be unplanned.
For example, a woman may marry a husband whose
children only visit during the summer. But two
years into their marriage his 15-year-old daughter
decides to live with him full-time. Now the
wife's life is suddenly upended as she's entrusted
with the care of a rebellious teen."
Second marriages have a high failure rate,
and issues like these are some of the reasons.
Griffith provides interesting solutions--read
the full article
Remember, Women Never Lie About Rape...
Dana Point woman recants rapes (Orange County
"A woman who accused six men of kidnapping and raping
her at gunpoint two years ago admitted she made it up,
the Orange County District Attorney's Office reported
"Tamara Anne Moonier, 29, is charged with grand theft,
perjury, presenting a false claim to the state and making
a false report to an officer. She is scheduled to be
sentenced Sept. 22.
"Prosecutors said Moonier made the false accusations
on June 6, 2004. The accused men were never charged
or convicted in the case, authorities said.
"Fullerton Police Department Investigators discovered
she had lied after one of the accused provided a 40-minute
tape, which showed Moonier actively participating and
orchestrating the encounters, prosecutors reported.
"The Orange County Grand Jury indicted Moonier for grand
theft for receiving money from the states designated
for victims of crime."
Interesting that the crimes for which Moonier is
charged (to which she'll probably plea bargain and get
away without jail time) are "grand theft, perjury, presenting
a false claim to the state and making a false report
to an officer." Nothing which reflects the terrible
thing she did to the young men she falsely accused.
I prefer the ancient Chinese method of dealing with
false claims--if you made a false claim against someone,
the law gives you the penalty that they
would have received had they been found guilty.
Make no mistake--this recantation only happened because
there was a tape of the incident. In fact, previous
articles show that Moonier--incredibly--actually kept
insisting that she had been raped even after the tape
surfaced. The tapes also showed Moonier mocking one
of the less well-endowed men in the room. Nice girl...
Remember, Liars Aren't the Problem, Glenn Sacks Is
One of the issues I get pounded on the most from
feminist blogs is the problem of false accusations of
rape. For some of the milder examples, see
Glenn Sacks = David Duke and
California Feminist Leader Slams Glenn. I guess
I could speculate as to why this is, but it's not my
problem. Anyway, I've covered the issue of false rape
accusations on numerous occasions--to learn more, see:
1) My debate on the Kobe Bryant case with two leaders
of the National Organization for Women in the San
Francisco Chronicle--my column was
Kobe Bryant Ruling a Step Towards Equity in Rape Trials,
NOW's Terry O'Neill and Melanie Stafford column was
Survivors must not be twice victimized (8/1/04).
2) My co-authored column criticizing a California
spousal rape bill which passed the legislature unanimously
and was signed into law in June--Kuehl's
Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men (Sacramento
News & Review, 6/15/06).
3) My radio interview on
His Side with Glenn Sacks with
former Colorado prosecutor Craig Silverman, who
was known for his zealous prosecution of rapists, and
Fox News Columnist Wendy McElroy--to listen, go
Kobe Bryant, Rape Shield Laws, and the False Accusations
4) My rather bizarre radio interview on
His Side with Glenn Sacks with
Katherine Baker, who proposes a new crime called
"Reckless Sex," under which a "defendant would be guilty
of reckless sexual conduct if, in a first sexual encounter
with another particular person, the defendant had sexual
intercourse without using a condom." To listen, go to
Criminalizing 'Reckless Sex'--Safeguard for Women or
New Way to Herd Men Into Jail? (3/6/05).
5) My co-authored column
Research Shows False Accusations of Rape Common
(Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal,
9/15/04, World Net Daily, 9/18/04)
6) Various enewsletter entries, including
Career Been Impacted by Custody Issues?
After empowering people's careers for over 20
year, I was duly initiated into family law just
like you--through a 30 month, $520,000 custody
suit. I learned that a solid home-based business
could be the best option, allowing one to shake
the financial shackles while still experiencing
a "no limits" career. More than ever, our kids
now need a free and available parent. Be there
for them...and for yourself. Darrell W.
Concerned about Financial Issues in Your Divorce?
If you're concerned about financial issues in
your divorce, contact
of DiGabriele, McNulty & Co by email
here or at
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad
Have you ever been framed as a "deadbeat dad"
while you were just trying to be a father? Have
you ever been forced to pay child support while
being denied your basic rights? Have you ever
had to explain Parental Alienation Syndrome
to your own child? Have you ever heard about
fighting family law battles outside the law
by following principles of non-violence--and
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad by
The Guns of August
This week marks the 92nd anniversary of one of the
greatest tragedies in human history--World War I. Some
of you may recall that I defended World War I veterans
against criticism from feminist Helen Caldicott in my
Dr. Helen Caldicott Spits on My Grandfather (Cybercast
News Service, 3/28/03).
Caldicott is certainly correct that the war was one
of the most senseless slaughters in human history, and
Lenin was correct that it was an imperialist war. But
unlike Caldicott, I believe that men go to war out of
a sense of duty and obligation, not bloodlust, as Caldicott
maintains. In the column I wrote:
"I have my grandfather's war medals in a small wooden
chest, along with two pictures--one of him as a young
man in military uniform, and another of him as a grandfather.
Also in the box is a poem about the war which he wrote
to the woman who would become my grandmother. The poem
is simple and about as good as one can expect from an
immigrant with an elementary school education and a
future as a milkman.
"When the United States entered World War I my grandfather
lied about his age so he could join the army, wanting
to show his gratitude to the country which had allowed
him to escape foreign tyranny. Wounded in the decisive
Battle of the Argonne Forest in 1918, he was awarded
the Purple Heart and the French Croix de Guerre.
"Last week Dr. Helen Caldicott, renowned feminist and
antiwar activist, spat on him.
"In a speech released under the title 'Men: Natural
Born Killers' Caldicott told feminist antiwar demonstrators
that the male of the human species has unbridled bloodlust,
explaining that 'young men rushed off to battle in the
first World War. So eager were they to participate in
the noble act of killing that they lied about their
"In other words, grandpa didn't enlist out of duty,
loyalty or honor, but instead because he wanted the
chance to kill.
"Welcome to the world of modern feminism, where everything
men do is either privilege or pathology and all events
and actions are seen through a sharply focused, anti-male
Read the full column
Expose False Allegations with Technology
Don't let the anti-male bias in criminal
law victimize you. If you could be falsely
accused by an angry woman, be prepared!
Use technology to expose the real aggressor.
Save Money and Get Better Gas Mileage
Do you want to save money and get better
gas mileage? Get more performance from
your vehicle? Make your engine last
MPG-CAPS is a 100% organic engine
conditioner that simultaneously improves
fuel economy and power by creating a
micro-thin coating on the combustion
chamber in your engine allowing your
fuel to burn more efficiently.
MPG-CAPS are perfect for gasoline,
diesel, biodiesel and gasoline-ethanol
powered engines. To learn more,
here or contact FFI Independent
Representative Ted Wacholtz
here. FFI products come with a 100%
money back guarantee.
New Jersey Divorce and Family Law
New Jersey family law attorney David
Perry Davis, Esq. can help you through
your divorce. In Pasqua v. Council
(2006) Davis successfully challenged
New Jersey's unconstitutional practice
of failing to appoint attorneys for
indigent child support obligors at enforcement
hearings where they face incarceration.
As a result of this suit, trial courts
must apply the same standard used when
a defendant requests a public defender
in a criminal matter.
Silicon Valley Weekly Does Cover Story on Default Paternity
The new cover story
Who's Your Daddy? (Metro Silicon Valley,
7/19/06) provides an extended and needed discussion
of default paternity judgments.
Valley has a circulation of 200,000 and is one of
the largest weekly publications in California. The article
has quotes from numerous people involved in the struggle
against paternity fraud, including: longtime paternity
fraud crusader Carnell Smith;
Taron James, the founder of
Fighting Paternity Fraud; Santa Ana family law attorney
Linda Ferrer, winner of the
case; myself; and others.
The story centers around the story of "Jim Jones"
of Redwood City, who has paid child support for nine
years for a child he has never met. According to the
"Financial responsibility began when Ethan's mother
named Jones as Ethan's father on welfare paperwork.
The 1996 Welfare Reform Act requires women to name their
child's fathers in order to receive public assistance--a
law designed to recoup government welfare costs by garnishing
the wages of 'deadbeat dads.'
"Under California law, Jones had six months from
the time he learned about Ethan to contest paternity.
Unaware of this deadline, and unable to afford an attorney,
Jones missed his chance. To this day, Jones does not
have any proof that he is Ethan's father...
"Jones' story began 12 years ago in Sacramento when
he met a pretty blonde girl named Michelle at a coffee
bar. The couple struck up a relationship, hanging out
at coffee shops and shopping at the mall. After four
months, Jones decided Michelle wasn't the one and ended
"Four months later, Jones learned secondhand that
Michelle was pregnant--and claiming that he was the
father. Jones contacted Michelle, offered to help and
began preparing for fatherhood. Several months later
the couple had an argument that escalated to the point
where Michelle told Jones that the baby was not his.
She told him to leave, and he did.
"Two and a half years later, living in Santa Cruz, Jones
was visited by a process server bearing a hefty bill--Jones
recalls $20,000--for child support in arrears. The bill
compelled Jones to begin paying, and ordered his appearance
in court to sign or contest the declaration of paternity.
"'I was completely surprised because she told me it
wasn't my kid,' said Jones. 'I thought I'd just call
Michelle and straighten things out.'
"Jones hunted for Michelle, and did not attend his court
hearing--a decision he regrets to this day. By not appearing
for his hearing, the court registered Jones, by default
judgment, as Ethan's father in the California child
support services database. A few months later, Jones'
six-month window to contest paternity closed.
"Unaware of the severity of these occurrences, Jones
continued to search on his own for Michelle and his
alleged son. He called old friends and acquaintances.
He took trips to Sacramento to scour old hangouts and
neighborhoods where she had lived. At other times, exacerbated
and angry, he simply ignored the situation, as it continued
to worsen. The government started to garnish wages from
Help for Maryland Fathers
Family law attorney
Dawn Elaine Bowie works to protect
parents' relationships with their children
and reduce post-divorce conflict. She
practices in Montgomery, Anne Arundel
and Prince George's Counties. Contact
or go to
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is
a growing and evolving resource designed
to meet the emotional and informational
needs of parents who are going through
divorce and those already divorced.
Tree House activities are composed of
live, real time teleconferences on a
weekly basis. These sessions are conducted
by two highly experienced mental health
practitioners, versed in high conflict
divorce. Drs. Bone and Evans offer a
wide spectrum of suggestions and education
regarding the divorce process and co-parenting
with difficult former spouses.
Rides Against the Wind
Congratulations to Thomas Ellis
on selling 1,000 copies of his self-published
The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing
Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness...
and Basically Everything. It's
quite an accomplishment, given that
the publishing industry gives vastly
more attention to Women's Studies books
than Men's Studies.
Rantings describes the rise
of feminism from the mid '70s to the
present, through Ellis' personal experiences,
and is loaded with outrageous stories.
The article also discusses AB 252, a paternity
fraud law passed by the California legislature in 2004.
The article notes:
"[AB 252] is a short-lived law that allows men named
as fathers in default judgments two years from the law's
enactment to contest paternity via a DNA test."
"...The window for A.B. 252 expires on Jan. 1, 2007...Glenn
Sacks...who writes men's rights newspaper columns, says
A.B. 252 is better than nothing, but not good enough.
"'The problem is that time is running out,' Sacks said.
'A certain amount of men have been going to court and
getting the paternity test and are getting let off the
hook. But a lot of guys don't know about this. What
should be happening is child enforcement people should
be sending notices to everyone saying there is this
"Child support services don't disseminate this information,
say critics, because doing so could mean losing paying
fathers, and hence federal funding.
"Indeed, states must name fathers in 90 percent of their
child support welfare cases, or risk losing federal
money. To comply, states have taken liberally to the
use of 'default judgments' when the alleged father cannot
"In Los Angeles County, nearly 80 percent of paternity
establishments (in 2000-01) came from default judgments.
In California as a whole, a whopping 70 percent were
default judgments, according to midyear reports from
the California Department of Child Support Services...
"Says Sacks about fathers named in default judgments,
'It might be the right name, it might be the wrong name,
it might be someone she thinks is the father but is
not sure. Also, it might be Juan Gomez and there are
11,000 Juan Gomezes, and then the correct person is
not properly served, and then a default judgment is
entered against him for 18 years of child support for
a kid he's never met, and in many cases, may not even
As an aside, one can see an example of my assertion
that there has not been enough outreach on AB 252 from
this article, which mentions in passing that "Jones
learned of A.B. 252 while being interviewed for this
To send a Letter to the Editor about
Who's Your Daddy?, click
Michael Robinson and the
for Families and Children worked on AB 252 and also
helped prevent the possible depublication of the 2004
decision. They have done great work on the paternity
fraud issue in California.
The Taron James Case
Silicon Valley article also discusses the Taron
James case, a horrible injustice. In my co-authored
Defrauded Veterans Have Mixed Emotions on Veterans Day
(Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 11/11/03), family
law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"For Torrance photographer Taron James,
a decorated veteran of Operation Northern Watch, Veterans
Day always brings mixed emotions.
"James enlisted in the Navy at age 20
in the days leading up to the first Persian Gulf War,
and carried out hazardous reconnaissance missions behind
Iraqi lines in the war's aftermath.
"He earned four service medals and three
ribbons before his honorable discharge in 1994. Yet
his reward for his service has been nine years of unremitting
government harassment, financial deprivation, and a
constant struggle to stay out of jail."
According to the
Valley article, "Taron James first discovered that
the state considered him a father in 1996 when the DMV
notified him they would be suspending his driver's license
for failure to pay child support.
"By this point, the six-month window to contest paternity
had passed. James could not locate his ex-girlfriend
to request a DNA test directly, and the courts offered
no alternative recourse. For the next four years, James
watched money leak out of his paychecks, while the state
intercepted his income taxes. In 1999, with his checks
cut almost in half, James declared bankruptcy.
"In 2000, James finally made contact with his ex-girlfriend.
'I approached her friends and family and I said, 'Make
me the bad guy; prove me wrong,' James tells about his
quest for a DNA test. Finally she acquiesced; the test
"But his battle was far from over. Even armed with this
evidence, it took James five years to have a court disestablish
paternity. The remedy was bittersweet. 'The judge said
I was a clear victim of fraud but he also said that
child support services was a victim of fraud too, so
they shouldn't have to pay the money back.'"
My view is that since the state helped perpetrate
the fraud, probably knowingly in this case, they should
be liable for the costs of the fraud.
I've also covered the paternity fraud issue in several
articles, including my co-authored
Preserving Paternity Fraud (Orange County Register,(10/3/02).
To listen to Linda Ferrer and Taron James on
His Side with Glenn Sacks, see
to LA County: 'We Won't Sully our Hands' Enforcing False
Controversy Over Judge's Treatment of Illegal Immigrant
Who Sought Protection Order Misses Important Point
From the Los Angeles Times story
It Wasn't the Court Order She Sought
Illegal immigrant seeks order against husband. The judge
tells her to get out or be deported (7/20/06):
"A substitute judge hearing the case of an illegal
immigrant seeking a restraining order against her husband
threatened to turn her over to immigration officials
if she didn't leave his courtroom.
"Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Pro Tem Bruce R. Fink
told Aurora Gonzalez during last week's hearing that
he was going to count to 20 and that if she was still
in his courtroom when he finished, he would have her
arrested and deported to Mexico.
"In an interview Wednesday, Fink said that the woman
had admitted in court that she was in the country illegally
and that he didn't want her to get in trouble with immigration
"'We have a federal law that says that this status is
not allowed,' Fink said. 'You can't just ignore it.
What I really wanted was to not give this woman any
"He said he thought the couple 'obviously wanted to
get back together' and that he was trying to avoid granting
a restraining order that would keep them apart for at
least a year. He said he also thought the court order
might lead to Gonzalez's deportation, because her husband
would not be able to continue helping her get legal
"In her initial court petition, Gonzalez alleged that
Francisco Salgado, 51, her husband of six years, was
'verbally and emotionally abusive' to her and their
two young boys. Gonzalez, who moved into a domestic
violence shelter last month, accused Salgado of referring
to her with a derogatory term and threatening to call
"In last Friday's hearing in Pomona, Fink asked Gonzalez
if she was in fact an illegal immigrant.
"I'm illegal," she said.
"'I hate the immigration laws that we have,' the judge
responded, according to the court transcript, 'but I
think the bailiff could take you to the immigration
services and send you to Mexico. Is that what you guys
"'Fink then asked Salgado if he wanted his wife deported.
Salgado replied he was helping his wife get her legal
papers, according to the transcript....At that point,
Fink warned Gonzalez to either leave his courtroom or
"'I'm going to count to 20, and if you people have left
this courtroom and disappeared, she isn't going to Mexico
forthwith,' Fink said, according to the court transcript.
'One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. When I get to 20,
she gets arrested and goes to Mexico.'
"After Gonzalez left the courtroom, Fink asked Salgado
if he wanted to stay, and he said yes.
"Fink then dismissed the case: 'Well, she brought the
proceedings, and if she's not here to go forward, I
guess all of the requests are denied.'
"On Wednesday, Fink, who has been a family law attorney
for 35 years, insisted he was seeking what he thought
was an agreeable solution for both parties.
"'What I saw was nothing more than some yelling and
screaming between a husband and wife,' he said.
"'I also saw that they really didn't want to not be
"If he had issued the restraining order, Fink said,
'we'd wind up with exactly the opposite of what these
"'The cure could be far worse than the illness,' he
Naturally the controversy is over the way the judge
treated the woman based on her immigration status. But
what interests me about the case is that it's one of
the all too rare examples of when a judge actually stands
up to a woman who's employing spurious charges
of domestic violence against her husband for personal
advantage. In my co-authored column
Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining Orders
(Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06) I wrote:
"...it is far too easy to get a restraining
order based on a false allegation...in the rush to protect
the abused, the rights of the accused are being violated
on an arguably unprecedented scale. Many if not most
domestic violence restraining orders are simply tactical
maneuvers designed to gain advantage in high stakes
family law proceedings. The Illinois Bar Journal
calls the orders 'part of the gamesmanship of divorce.'
"A recent article in the Family Law
News, the official publication of the State Bar
of California Family Law Section, explains that the
bar is concerned that 'protective orders are increasingly
being used in family law cases to help one side jockey
for an advantage in child custody.' The authors note
that protective orders are 'almost routinely issued
by the court in family law proceedings even when there
is relatively meager evidence and usually without notice
to the restrained person....it is troubling that they
appear to be sought more and more frequently for retaliation
and litigation purposes'...
"Despite these grave effects, many courts
grant restraining orders to practically any woman who
applies. District Judge Daniel Sanchez, who issued the
restraining order against Letterman, explained 'If [applicants]
make a proper pleading, then I grant it'...
"A restrained person does have the opportunity
to contest the orders at a hearing a couple of weeks
later. However, these proceedings are often just a formality
for which no more than 15 minutes are generally allotted.
In fact, the State of California's website gives the
following advice for men who are contesting restraining
"Practice saying why you disagree with
the charges. Do not take more than three minutes to
say what you disagree with. You can bring witnesses
or documents that support your case, but the judge may
not have enough time to talk to the witnesses."
Immigration/DV Case and VAWA
It's interesting too, that women's advocates are
now saying--correctly--that Gonzalez would not have
been deported because the federal Violence Against Women
Act offers a stay of any deportation proceeding for
abused women. In a subsequent article
here, one immigration attorney noted that the restraining
order "could help her on her VAWA case."
This VAWA provision is probably well-intended, but
it also serves as a tremendous incentive to make false
charges of abuse. For example, an immigrant woman employed
these types of charges against
one of the
hero fathers I've written about.
Late Note--According to
this article, the woman got her (dubious) restraining
order granted, and the judge was dismissed. What a surprise....
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads
in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa
Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free weekly
co-parenting classes, individual mentoring
for fathers and much more.
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Philadelphia Daily News Disses Dads
The Philadelphia Daily News disses dads in
Jail Threat Springs $$ (7/20/06):
"The deadbeat who slouched in front of Judge Leonard
A. Ivanoski looked like a thousand others.
"In shabby clothes and a hangdog expression, the
man reeled off a list of reasons why he had failed to
pay almost $16,000 he owed in child support.
"But Ivanoski, a diminutive, silver-haired Common
Pleas senior judge with deceptively friendly looks,
wanted to hear no more.
"'You're just giving me a song and a dance,' he barked.
'You had the ability to pay when you should have and
could have. There's willful, civil contempt here.'
"Two months in prison, Ivanoski sternly decreed.
A uniformed deputy slapped handcuffs on the flabbergasted
"With a pleased nod, prosecutor Maria McLaughlin
stood, left the courtroom and chalked up another victory
for Philadelphia Family Court and the Child Support
Enforcement Unit, a branch of District Attorney Lynne
Abraham's office that McLaughlin supervises.
"'Incarceration absolutely helps us get the money,'
said McLaughlin, an assistant district attorney for
14 years and mother of two. 'Otherwise these defendants
don't take you seriously. They come down here with the
expectation: 'Oh, I'll never go to jail for child-support
violations.' Then they find themselves in our holding
"'Ninety-nine times out of 100, the dads romp around
with a woman, she gets pregnant, and that's the last
she sees of him. It's the 'free-ride club,' Abraham
said. 'Since we don't have the ability to make a father
love his children, we at least have the legal authority
to make them support their unloved, unwanted children.
It's a shame we have to order people to do that.'
"Defendants claiming they can't afford to pay could
find their finances shrinking anyway...
"'There are so many innovative ways to collect money,'
"Those who ignore orders to come to court are hauled
before a judge on an arrest warrant to explain their
"An unswayed judge can toss the offender in prison
for up to six months per case.
"But McLaughlin emphasizes that she's not out to
fill the jails.
"'All of our defendants hold the key to the jailhouse
door,' she said, explaining that judges give every jail-bound
deadbeat a 'purge factor'--typically a fraction of the
arrears they can pay to walk free from prison. For example,
Ivanoski set a purge factor of $1,200 for the deadbeat
dad who owed $16,000 to avoid his two-month sentence.
"Even with the threat of jail, Philadelphia is full
of child-support violators. Family Court has 121,937
active cases of deadbeat parents, representing $576
million in arrears, McLaughlin said...
"More than half of the defendants sentenced to prison
never reach the jail because they 'miraculously' come
up with the money' for the purge factor, McLaughlin
I'm sure that at times McLaughlin does deal with
some irresponsible men, but her description of some
of these cases--including the Ivanoski case--seems a
little suspicious to me. The guy would rather spend
two months in jail than come up with a lousy $1,200?
He's either dead broke or he has a strange set of priorities.
I suspect it's the former.
Though not as extreme, the Ivanoski case reminds
me a little of the Francis Borgia case. In a radio commentary
His Side with Glenn Sacks on the Borgia case
"Here's another story about those evil deadbeat dads
from the Chicago Tribune--'Man sneaks razor blade
into court, slashes self'
"An Illinois man carried a razor blade through metal
detectors and slit his throat after being sentenced
to two years in prison for failing to pay child support.
"Francis Borgia, 38, of Metropolis, Ill., was treated
at a hospital and then taken to the McCracken County
Regional Jail on Thursday.
"Borgia had been sentenced for not paying $7,000 in
child support. (Two years in prison for $7,000?)
"'Don't put me in jail; I'm going to kill myself,' Borgia
pleaded as he leaned forward and reached into his pocket.
"McCracken County Administrator Steve Doolittle said
security at the courthouse will be reviewed to see if
another such incident can be avoided.
"Security at the courthouse will be reviewed
to see if another such incident can be avoided? Why
don't you review this judge and his decisions to see
if another such incident can be avoided? Why don't you
review the state's laws and family court policies to
see if another such incident can be avoided?
"The man is either mentally ill or he doesn't have the
money. If he's willing to slit his own throat to avoid
jail don't you think if he had the money he'd pay it?
Don't you think he'd crack open the moneybags, and hand
over the Krugerrands and sell the Porsche and the Beemer?
This man is so afraid of jail he'd commit suicide rather
than go, and he's going to jail because he can't pay
a lousy $7,000. Isn't this evidence that he never had
the money to begin with?"
To listen to my commentary,
Dad or Deadbroke Dad?
I also discussed the Borgia case in my co-authored
Persecuting Low Income Parents (Cincinnati Post,
Kentucky Post, 8/26/05). Family law attorney Jeff
Leving and I wrote:
"In one McCracken County, Kentucky case, Francis
Borgia, a carpet cleaner in Paducah, slit his throat
in the courtroom after being sentenced to two years
in jail for being $7,000 behind on child support. According
to newspaper accounts, Borgia had become a 'deadbeat'
after he lost a good paying job working in a casino
and could not get a downward modification on his support...Borgia,
who survived his courtroom suicide attempt, noted:
"My only 'crime' was my failure to make as much money
as the state demanded...I couldn't quite understand
why I was treated so harshly. I'm not a deadbeat dad.
I'm a broke dad."
To read a letter from Borgia, click on
"Child Support Injustice: Francis Borgia Speaks"
As for McLaughlin's comment that "More than half
of the defendants sentenced to prison never reach the
jail because they 'miraculously' come up with the money,"
what she can't or won't see is that usually this is
not the child support debtor's money. It's grandma's
money, it's mom and dad's retirement money, it's the
brother's money. The man isn't digging up a fortune
in gold coins from his backyard to pay--his parents,
friends and relatives are paying the money for him so
he doesn't go to jail. I often hear from elderly men
and women who tell me they've lost their retirement
money in their son's divorces, sometimes because of
their child support situations.
the Man You Want to Be
Mentor4Men.com will give you the tools to be
the man you want to be at home, at work and
in all areas of your life. You can do this work
on the phone, in private, and with a guarantee
of full confidentiality. Visit
to schedule your FREE initial coaching session.
Improve Your Health & Fitness Through Herbalife
Improve your nutritional well-being through
Herbalife quality herbal nutrition products.
Have more energy, lose weight and enjoy a healthier
lifestyle through our all-natural products.
Browse through Herbalife's catalog of health
Our Side Takes an Unfair Swipe at Custodial Mothers
does make some effort to balance out her story with
comments from a fathers' rights activist. The quotes
do not represent our side particularly well:
"To some men's-rights activists, mothers are a sneaky
lot, using the children to siphon away their exes' hard-earned
dough and then forgetting the offspring the minute they
cash the check.
"'There is no accountability for how the money is
used. They [mothers] use it on hairdressers, fingernails,
the new boyfriend,' said Philip Lutz, a Center City
father of one who heads Philadelphia's chapter of Fathers'
and Children's Equality, which lobbies for equal custody
and offers support groups for noncustodial parents."
This is a poor argument. Most divorced or separated
mothers aren't wasting child support on luxuries. They
have a right to enjoy life, and shouldn't have to account
to their ex-husbands or anybody else for every dime
they spend. There certainly are exceptions, of course,
when the mothers really are wasting the money and the
children's needs are not being met. In such cases courts
can and should intervene. But the average divorced mother
getting $1,000 a month in child support is not living
high on the hog any more than the average divorced dad
is living it up with his Porsche and trophy wife.
doesn't attribute her paraphrase about mothers "forgetting
the offspring the minute they cash the check" but this
is also ill-advised. Are we supposed to believe that
custodial mothers don't love their children, only dads
I don't necessarily blame Lutz--he may not have been
quoted particularly well, or
might be portraying minor points made by Lutz instead
of the major ones. It's happened to me with reporters
many times. (For one example, click
Matt Dubay's 'Roe v. Wade for Men' Suit Dismissed
In my co-authored column
Women Have a Choice--Men Should Too (Saginaw
News, 4/2/06) I defended Matt Dubay's "Roe v. Wade
for Men" lawsuit. Family law attorney Jeff Leving and
"A 25-year-old computer programmer has
done what has long been thought impossible--he has united
the pro-choice feminist left and the pro-life right.
Matt Dubay of Saginaw, Michigan is the plaintiff in
a new lawsuit in which he seeks to wipe out the child
support payments he is obligated to make to an ex-girlfriend.
He says he had made it clear to her that he didn't want
to be a father at this time, and that she got pregnant
after she had repeatedly assured him that a physical
condition rendered her sterile.
"National Organization for Women president
Kim Gandy, conservative TV host Bill O'Reilly and numerous
commentators from all sides have criticized Dubay's
'Roe v. Wade for Men' lawsuit. Yet when commentators
make the arguments against choice for men--'if a man
doesn't want to father a child he should have used birth
control,' 'men need to take responsibility whether they
wanted to have the child or not'--one can often detect
a little confusion in their eyes, as if a part of them
is whispering 'uh, wait a minute, but couldn't you say
the same thing about women?'
a half million American women legally walk away from
motherhood every year by adoption, abortion or abandonment,
yet somehow nobody labels them 'deadbeats' or 'deserters.'
In over 40 states a mother can return the baby to the
hospital within a few weeks of birth--completely opting
out of motherhood with less hassle than it takes to
return a DVD to Best Buy. Yet if the mother decides
she wants to keep the child, she can demand 18 (or in
some states 21 or 23) years of child support from the
father, and he has no choice in the matter.
have long based their support for Roe v. Wade
around the slogan 'My Body, My Choice.' Women's rights
legal advocate Jennifer Brown denounced Dubay's suit,
explaining that 'Roe is based on an extreme intrusion
by the government...There's nothing equivalent for men.'
100,000 men each year are jailed for alleged non-payment
of child support, and federal Office of Child Support
Enforcement data reveal that 70% of those behind on
payments earn poverty level wages. When states force
a man to be financially responsible for a child he never
wanted, and jail him if he comes up short, isn't that
a terrible state intrusion too? Don't the sacrifices
required to pay tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars
in child support over two decades take a heavy toll
on a man, too?...
"Under choice for men, unmarried fathers
would have a one-time right to relinquish their parental
rights and responsibilities within a month of learning
of a pregnancy, just as mothers do when they choose
to give their children up for adoption. Women would
still be free to exercise all of the reproductive choices
they now have.
"Gandy, O'Reilly, Brown and others claim
that the current system is necessary because it protects
children. In reality, over time choice for men would
greatly benefit American children--if women knew that
they could not compel unmarried men to pay to support
children they did not agree to have, the number of unwed
births (and the huge social problems associated with
them) would be reduced. Choice for men means better
parenting because more men will be able to become fathers
when they're married, willing, and stable--a huge benefit
"Women's advocates correctly note that
pregnant women often have legitimate reasons for not
wanting to be mothers, including youth, finances and
the lack of a suitable relationship or marriage. Yet
all of these apply equally to men. Women have a choice--men
Last week the United States District Court, Eastern
District of Michigan, dismissed Dubay's suit, calling
it "frivolous, unreasonable, and without foundation
and seeks to advance a theory that is foreign to the
legal principles on which it is ostensibly based." To
learn more, click
I don't consider Dubay's conduct particularly admirable,
and he ain't father of the year; however, he does have
a good point. And it is also appropriate to question
the conduct of his child's mother, Lauren Wells. Everyone
is angry at Dubay for not wanting to pay child support,
but why is it that nobody chastises Wells for bringing
a child into such an unenviable situation?
The Real Solution for Choice for Men--the Male Birth
Like most people, I didn't expect Dubay's suit to
go anywhere. The lawsuit was essentially a publicity
stunt, and a good one. As I've noted before, the real
solution for Choice for Men is the Male Birth Control
Pill. I discussed the issue last year in my column
Do Women Really Want a Male Birth Control Pill?
Mike Cox Rejoices Over Dubay's Defeat
Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox, who has clashed
with fatherhood advocates on several occasions over
the past few years, predictably rejoiced over Dubay's
defeat. In his press release
Cox Announces Victory for Michigan's Children in "Roe
v Wade for Men" Case he said:
"This is an important victory for the children of
this state. Both parents have a clear responsibility
for the support of their child, no matter the circumstances
surrounding conception. The Court upheld that time-honored
understanding today. Michigan will not become the state
where parents can opt out of personal responsibility."
In early 2004 Cox launched a billboard campaign which
featured a large pair of handcuffs, and boasted of jail
time for fathers struggling with child support obligations.
We did two
His Side with Glenn Sacks shows on it--to listen,
go to Michigan
Fathers Under Siege (3/7/04) and
Motown: Michigan Dads vs. Leader of ACES (4/18/04).
That fall Cox announced an even more misguided and
asinine billboard campaign--a contest wherein children
would draw billboard designs critical of noncustodial
fathers who have allegedly not paid child support. Fox
News quoted me on the subject as follows:
"Custodial mothers are encouraged to coach their
children to make designs critical of noncustodial parents
behind on child support. And it doesn't take much imagination
to figure out which noncustodial father many mothers
will be encouraging their children to denounce."
I and others launched a
Campaign to Help Michigan Activists Defeat Anti-Father
Billboard Contest, and the Michigan activists did
an excellent job protesting Cox's campaign. Cox pulled
the contest in response to the protests. To listen to
my radio call to action on the issue, click
To read it, click
I did two
His Side with Glenn Sacks shows on the issue--see
Top Cop Tells Kids: Denounce Your Daddy (10/3/04)
Fathers Targeted by Cox Speak Out (10/10/04).
You Really the Father?
Find out the underlying flaws in the DNA paternity
testing system and learn how a man with results
in the 90%, 95% or even 99% positive range may
not be the father. Learn what most lawyers and
judges don't know about paternity testing.
Congressional Candidate Takes Strong Stand for
Noncustodial Parents' Rights
In 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate Michael
Badnarik had a strong noncustodial parents'
platform. Badnarik is clearly aware of and
sensitive to the basic problems fathers today
face, particularly the sole custody norm and
the denigration of noncustodial parents to "second
class parent" status. Badnarik is running for
Congress in 2006--to learn more, go to
PBS Campaign Update
PBS broadcast the anti-father documentary
the Silence: Children's Stories on many of
its affiliates last October. The film accused family
courts of anti-mother bias, attacked
Parental Alienation Syndrome, and portrayed divorced
dads seeking shared custody as batterers and child molesters
aiming to steal children from their mothers. The film
was extremely one-sided, and presented a harmful and
inaccurate view of divorce and child custody cases.
Fathers and Families, the
American Coalition for Fathers & Children and others,
we organized a campaign against the film, and over 10,000
of you called or wrote PBS to protest. Our demand
was that "PBS provide fatherhood and shared parenting
advocates a meaningful opportunity to present our side."
The campaign generated considerable media attention
and controversy, and both PBS's ombudsman and the Corporation
for Public Broadcasting's ombudsman expressed sympathy
with many of our aims.
In November we made the bombshell announcement that
one of the women profiled as a heroic mom in the film
had been found
culpable of multiple acts of child abuse by a California
Juvenile court. While the film claims that the mother
lost custody of the daughter because of the father's
legal machinations, in reality the Juvenile court transferred
custody to the father to protect the girl.
In December PBS issued a statement saying they would
commission an hour-long documentary to examine the issues
raised in the film and by our campaign. PBS said that
"plans call for the documentary to be produced and broadcast
in Spring 2006" and that the "hour-long treatment of
the subject will allow ample opportunity" for those
of differing views to "have their perspectives shared,
challenged and debated." We commended PBS for
understanding our concerns and taking action to address
I know little about filmmaking but I was skeptical
that PBS could put together a quality film between December
20, 2005, when they made their announcement, and the
Spring of 2006. In April PBS spent two days filming
Fathers & Families' meetings and lobbying efforts,
and informed us that the new film will air nationwide
in the fall, in a primetime slot on a Sunday evening.
I will keep you informed as we learn more. To learn
more about our campaign, click
Thanks again to all of those who participated.
File Taxes Online with Professional Help
allows you to file your taxes, check your refund
status, and have your return reviewed by an
experienced tax professional--all online.
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
Domestic Violence Accusations Can End Military Careers
Domestic violence can end your career from the military-oriented
publication Black Hills Bandit (7/10/06):
"An Airman and his girlfriend return from a bar -- both
have had a few drinks. As the conversation turns sour
it leads to an argument, which becomes a scuffle.
"Police come, charges are pressed and the Airman goes
to court. Feeling ashamed and apologetic he pleads guilty
to simple assault -- a misdemeanor.
"He may have just unintentionally ended his military
"An extreme result? Perhaps.
"Something to be aware of? Absolutely.
"Due to the Lautenberg Amendment -- a 1996 change to
the Gun Control Act (18 U.S.C. ß 992) -- it is a felony
to possess a firearm if convicted of a domestic violence
misdemeanor. This law affects not only members who may
carry a weapon, but supervisors who issue those weapons.
"If you're a military member, convicted of a domestic
violence offense, you're prohibited from possessing
firearms or ammunition, no longer eligible to train
with any firearms, or go on any deployments requiring
possession of small arms. If your AFSC requires that
you qualify to bear a firearm, your AFSC will be withdrawn
and you will be discharged or may be reassigned to a
non-firearm bearing position...If you are being charged
with an act of domestic violence, understand the potential
ramifications to your military career of a plea of guilty
or no contest. Always talk to the Area Defense Counsel
or civilian attorney before you make a decision that
could sink your career."
This is a major problem for police officers and military
servicemen. In my column
VAWA Renewal Provides Opportunity to Stop Destruction
of Innocent Cops' Careers (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram,
7/19/05) I discussed the case of police officers
caught in this trap. I wrote:
"Shot in the line of duty. Twice awarded the Medal
of Honor. Named Essex County, New Jersey Police Officer
of the Year. A highly decorated officer with an impeccable
record. For 22 years police officer Eric Washington
battled criminals on the streets of East Orange, New
Jersey. On January 21, 2001 Washington was ambushed
and brought down--not by an ex-convict bent on revenge
or a shadowy gunman, but instead by a false accusation
of domestic violence...
"Former Torrance, California police officer John
Brumbaugh recently won a seven-year legal battle after
an ex-girlfriend falsely accused him of battery. Though
Brumbaugh's conviction was overturned and his name finally
cleared, the false charges cost him his career as a
police officer and several hundred thousand dollars
in legal expenses and lost wages and benefits."
Subscribe to this E-Newsletter
Email this E-Newsletter to a Friend
Missed an E-Newsletter? Find all of Glenn's E-Newsletters
To be removed from
our list, send an email to
firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line Remove.