My new co-authored column, Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick (Wisconsin State Journal, Buffalo News, 6/30/07), criticizes the newly-introduced Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act of 2007 for misunderstanding the roots of fatherlessness.

To write a Letter to the Editor of the Wisconsin State Journal regarding Fatherhood bill: Not enough carrot, too much stick, click here. To write a Letter to the Editor of the Buffalo News regarding Obama's legislation does too little to encourage fathers, click here.

I co-authored the column, which appears below, with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Wisconsin State Journal, Buffalo News, 6/30/07

U.S. Senators Barack Obama (D-IL) and Evan Bayh (D-IN) recently introduced the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act of 2007, which they say will address our "national epidemic of absentee fathers." Obama and Bayh are correct that fatherless children are dramatically more likely to commit crimes, drop out of school, use drugs, or get pregnant than children who have fathers in their homes. The Responsible Fatherhood Act is explicitly a carrot and stick approach. The problem is that the

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"I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk...If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him."--U.K. singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse, speaking about her relationship with her new husband

I've noted on many occasions that research shows that domestic violence by women against men is a significant problem, and the "woman as victim/man as perp" model for domestic violence is a gross distortion.

U.K. singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse pictured) recently bragged openly about physically abusing her husband. Men who beat their wives are locked up, stigmatized, and vilified--and rightfully so. Yet here a high-profile woman admits--no, brags--that she beats her husband, and it's OK. No backlash or even recognition that this is wrong.

Winehouse is set to perform at Lollapalooza in August and has a hit high on the charts. Somehow I find it hard to believe that a man who brags about getting drunk and beating his wife would be welcomed at Lollapalooza, or anywhere else.

Winehouse: 'I attack Blake'
UK News Yahoo, 6-12-07

Soul superstar Amy Winehouse turns "violent and abusive" after too much alcohol and often attacks new husband Blake Fielder-Civil. The Rehab singer admits she becomes aggressive after drinking alcohol and uses her husband as a "punch-bag" - but insists she is "not a fighter".

She says, "I'm either a really good drunk or I'm an out-and-out s**t, horrible, violent, abusive, emotional drunk.

"I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk. I don't think I have ever bruised him, but I do have my way. If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him.

"I'm not a fighter, but if I am backed against the wall I'll kick the s**t out of anyone.

"I don't think your ability to fight has anything to do with how big you are. It's to do with how much anger is in you."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

When gender is an open option in an editorial cartoon, the cartoonist will usually depict whoever in the cartoon is lazy, foolish, selfish, stupid, etc., as a man. Indianapolis Star editorial cartoonist
Gary Varvel does this, both in his cartoon "Cell Phones" and here in "Voter Interest."

Yes, I'm sure male voters are just as likely to be lazy and uniformed as female voters, but somehow the stereotypical lazy voter is almost always male.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Called by some a "fathers' rights organization," Fathers & Families is made up of men and women who believe that fathers are an essential part of a child's life and that divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org  FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS? Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

"My parents have been divorced for nearly a decade, and both have remarried. The problem is, even after all this time, my mother is still mad at my father...Mom makes me feel like I can't love them both at the same time."

My mother often points out good blog/newspaper column fodder to me (such as this recent anti-father OPUS cartoon), and yesterday she sent me this Parental Alienation segment from Annie's Mailbox. In it, a young woman with the handle "Enough Already" writes:

"Dear Annie: My parents have been divorced for nearly a decade, and both have remarried. The problem is, even after all this time, my mother is still mad at my father and can't stand to be around him.

"My brother is getting married soon, and my mother (who still believes she has the moral high ground) is hoping my grandmother will seize the opportunity to give my dad a piece of her mind. She told me she was glad someone 'loved her enough to take her side.' I tried to explain that we all need to move on. Yes, my father did some bad things when they were married, but I love both my parents. Unfortunately, Mom makes me feel like I can't love them both at the same time.

"I don't know what to do about Mom anymore, and I don't think it's right for my brother to have to deal with her antics on his big day. Any suggestions? -- Enough Already"

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, Annie's Mailbox's co-authors, respond:

"Dear Enough: It's a shame your mother is still so bitter that she will not let go of her anger. It hurts her more than anyone else. You do not have to succumb to this kind of emotional blackmail. Your mother's attempts to guilt you into repudiating your father should be ignored. When she says unpleasant things, smile with kindness and pity, and reply, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.' Then walk away. When she truly believes you will no longer respond to her rancor, she may stop subjecting you to it."

That seems like a fair response, though I probably would have recommended something stronger. A few more points:

1) This is yet another example of how ludicrous the feminist position on Parental Alienation is. The National Organization for Women and other misguided women's advocates consider Parental Alienation a myth used by abusive fathers to blame their ex-wives when their children are hostile to them. Recently, Kim Gandy, President of NOW, condemned PA as "junk science, junk justice." I suppose "Enough Already" must be a plant from a fathers' rights group. To learn more, see my co-authored column In this Turf War, Kids Are the Prize (Tallahassee Democrat, 6/13/07).

2) I'm suspicious of  "Enough Already's" comment that "Yes, my father did some bad things when they were married, but I love both my parents." Maybe the father really did do some bad things, but it's also very possible that the young woman only heard the mother's description of events. Angry, vindictive women have a wonderful talent for spinning everything single thing a man does so it's bad or wrong, and our "woman good/man bad" culture often acts as an enabler.

Also, given how endlessly angry and hateful this woman is now, many years later, it makes me wonder what kind of emotional abuse this man had to endure while they were together--abuse which may well explain and even fully justify his alleged bad behaviour. She doesn't let her anger stop her from hurting her daughter and her son--what would make us think she thought twice about hurting the father while they were married?

On a positive note, societal awareness of Parental Alienation Syndrome is steadily increasing. The Parental Alienation Awareness Organization has made great strides in gaining recognition of April 25 as "Parental Alienation Awareness Day."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

"Auckland police responded to a domestic violence case, where a mother seriously assaulted her partner in front of their children. The police advise the father that if he lays a complaint, then the mother will be taken away and the children taken into Department of Child, Youth and Family Services' care. (emphasis added)

"The police appear reluctant to leave the children in the father's care, even though he's the victim of the alleged assault, with the result that the father refuses to make a statement, thus allowing the children to stay at home and the mother to escape the consequences of her actions...If the genders were reversed...and the father was charged with assaulting the mother...the police would have no hesitation in locking up Dad and leaving the children with Mum."

New Zealand Politician Judy Turner (pictured) is criticizing an incredible domestic violence policy where (apparently) male victims of domestic assault have their children taken by Child Protective Services if they report the abuse to the police. See Turner's press release below.

Domestic violence policies must treat all equally
Press Release: United Future NZ Party
Wednesday, 4 July 2007

United Future deputy leader Judy Turner is questioning whether the police treat men and women equally when it comes to dealing with domestic violence.

She points to a story aired on May 22 on TV2's Police-10 programme in which Auckland police respond to a domestic violence case, where a mother seriously assaulted her partner in front of their children.

The police advise the father that if he lays a complaint, then the mother will be taken away and the children taken into CYF's care.

The police appear reluctant to leave the children in the father's care, even though he's the victim of the alleged assault, with the result that the father refuses to make a statement, thus allowing the children to stay at home and the mother to escape the consequences of her actions.

"If the genders were reversed," says Mrs Turner, "and the father was charged with assaulting the mother, I'm certain the police would have no hesitation in locking up Dad and leaving the children with Mum.

"I have quizzed the Police Minister, Annette King on this apparent inconsistency in policy and she says she's unaware of any problems with the police approach, even though they have no policy to cover what they should do when a woman is the alleged assailant.

"I have every sympathy with the police when they are called on to deal with complex domestic violence cases, but everyone must be treated equally regardless of gender, if we are not to have family relationships plagued with an endless sense of grievance," says Mrs Turner.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Boys and the Boy Crisis, the Third National Men's Equality Congress, will be held July 13-14 in Washington, DC. The speakers list is great--perhaps the best I've ever seen at a conference. Speakers include:

1) Matt O'Connor--leader of the English fathers' group Fathers 4 Justice. O'Connor has done more than anybody to raise awareness of the terrible social problem of children being separated from their fathers after divorce or separation.

2) Christina Hoff Sommers--author of the books The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men and Who Stole Feminism?. In The War Against Boys, Sommers asserts, "It's a bad time to be a boy in America," and takes a hard look at the boy crisis and the misguided policies which have helped create it. Who Stole Feminism? is a devastating expose of the way feminists have disseminated misinformation about men and gender issues via the media and academia, and helped poison our popular culture against men.

3) Warren Farrell--the intellectual wellspring of the men's movement, and the author of  Father & Child Reunion, the Myth of Male Power, and others. Farrell is also an expert on shared parenting--to watch Warren speak, click on Warren Farrell's Case for Shared Parenting (Video).

4) Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young, co-authors of Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture and Legalizing Misandry: From Public Shame to Systemic Discrimination Against Men.

5) Stephen Baskerville--president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children and author of the soon-to-be released book Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family.

6) Glenn Sacks--men's and fathers' issues columnist, commentator, talk show host and blogger.

To register for the conference, click here.

There will also be three 2+ hour pre-conference workshops, one conducted by Matt O'Connor, one by Warren Farrell, and one by Glenn Sacks. The workshops will start Friday morning and conclude prior to the conference opening that evening.

These workshops will allow the speakers to go into greater detail and allow participants to spend more time with our speakers. The pricing for early registrants will be $33 for each workshop. Attending these workshops is extra and separate from the conference. People can choose to go to none, one, two or all three.

To sign up for 'early bird' prices for these workshops and/or to register for the conference, click here.

The mover and shaker behind these conferences is Tom Golden, LCSW, a Washington, DC-area men's activist. Golden does an excellent job--both of the previous conferences he's held were well-attended and well-organized.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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Background: From time to time I ponder why there is such a divide between the feminist movement and the men's and fathers' movement. I wish this divide didn't exist, or at least that it were smaller. Yet sometimes I read things which make me believe that the divide will never be breached. One example is Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part I), a recent one is Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part II)--Feminist Bloggers on the Duke Case.

In the latter, I discussed the views of feminist blogger "Violet Socks" of the mid-level feminist blog www.reclusiveleftist.com concerning the Duke case. "Socks" believes that the Duke case means "The message is clear: You can terrorize some woman all you want, call her a nigger and threaten to shove a broomstick up her and knock her around and probably rape her, and...win...Any questions about why every single athletic team in this country now has carte blanche to rape and torture any woman they get their nasty goddamn hands on?"

Apparently some of my readers went over to www.reclusiveleftist.com to debate the Duke issue. Socks responds by labeling the referring site--mine, apparently--a "male supremacist site," and writes a blog post called "Attention men's 'rights' activists, white 'rights' activists, neo-Nazis, skinheads, Ku Klux Klan members, etc." Socks writes:

"Fuck off. Go away. Do not post here. If you do, your comment will be deleted.

"The intertube is a big place and there are plenty of websites where you can indulge your fetid delusions about how the nigras/Jews/bitches have ruined the world and robbed you of your destiny. Not here.

"FUCK OFF."

I've seen numerous feminist bloggers react to criticism from men's activists in more or less this way, including Amanda Marcotte, Trish Wilson, and others. I can't help but think that if these ladies were really so sure of their feminist views and the arguments which support them, they wouldn't have a meltdown when challenged.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Imagine That--Australian Women Don't Like Being Arrested for Domestic Violence Apparently some Australian women are unhappy over the way police are arresting them for domestic violence. They're protesting against alleged police brutality, but the police are saying the woman arrested in the incident was violent. I've no idea who is right and who is wrong, and since these are Aboriginal women, racism could be an element here. But it sounds as if the women feel the police are taking a heavy-handed, overly interventionist role, and are interfering unnecessarily in people's family lives. Imagine that... Women seek to confront police over domestic violence arrests Jul 3, 2007 ABC News, Australia A group of women from Alice Springs town camps want to confront the Territory Police Minister over the way officers are carrying out domestic violence arrests. The women have met at the Tangentyere Council in support of a camp resident who claims she was kicked in the ribs by police. Police say they had to use force with the woman because she became violent, but deny she was kicked. Eileen Hoosan from the Mount Nancy camp says the women are not happy with the way police are carrying out domestic violence raids on camps. "We were willing to work with the police, but now I think we have to confront the police, confront the Minister for police and say, 'is this the way police are going to act?'," she said. "I think the police and whoever they're going to bring in from the other states, they need to deal with Aboriginal people at their level." In a statement, the Territory Police Minister, Chris Burns, says there are robust and transparent systems in place to deal with complaints involving police. He says anyone who has a grievance should pursue those options. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. The Business of Love 50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years, single households now outnumber married households...if there ever was a time for a radical, new approach to marriage, it's NOW. The Business of Love, by Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development consultant and former marriage counselor, is the first book to show how to take the same "best practices" that build successful businesses and apply them to an intimate relationship. Learn more at www.TheBusinessofLove.org. Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men Author Tom Ellis unleashes his savage wit on women's studies, gender norming, implants, affirmative action, rape hysteria, pornography, women's spirituality, homophobia, and bad dates. Intended for male readers, women also find it shockingly insightful. Contains adult situations and language. The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything by Thomas Ellis -- $11.95 + shipping from Amazon via direct purchase--click here. National Child Support Enforcement Association Uses Enron-Style Accounting in Scramble to Protect Federal Funds The National Child Support Enforcement Association recently held a Webinar on "How to Prevent Child Support Cuts." According to the NCSEA, "a cut in enforcement funds approved by Congress last year threatens to deprive children of $11 billion in support owed to them over 10 years." To learn more about the Webinar, click here. The NCSEA and the child support enforcement industry push the idea that collections will drop or collapse if federal reimbursement funds are reduced. As I've discussed on numerous occasions, this is a myth. In my co-authored column Federal Child Support Enforcement Cuts Will Hurt Bureaucrats, not Children (Las Vegas Review-Journal & others, 12/17/05), I explained: "Child support enforcement officials are sounding the alarm over proposed cuts in the federal funds that subsidize states' child support enforcement efforts. The cuts, which recently passed the House, will reduce federal reimbursement from 66% of the states' costs to 50% over five years. "According to the Congressional Budget Office, this will lead to $24 billion in child support going uncollected over the next 10 years. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and Los Angeles County Child Support Services Department Director Philip Browning are warning that the cuts will mean a drastic reduction in the amount of child support collected. A bipartisan group of senators has penned a letter opposing the cuts, explaining that 'in 2004, more than $4 was collected in support for every dollar invested in the program.' All of these claims, however, are based on false assumptions and misleading data. "It is true that federal figures show that over $20 billion in child support is collected nationwide yearly, and that only $5 billion is spent on enforcement. However, the vast majority of the funds collected are not done through enforcement tactics--they're simply the payments already being made by law-abiding noncustodial parents. These payments will continue to be made regardless of the cuts. The myth that child support enforcement is a bargain was created by incorrectly counterposing total collections with expenditures on enforcement." To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com Help for Michigan Dads Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com

"Deadbeat" parent round-ups are continuing in Chicago (I criticized these a few weeks ago in my co-authored column  Most Illinois 'Deadbeats' Aren't 'Reprehensible' -- They're Broke , Chicago Daily Southtown, 6/20/07).

Perhaps one reason for these raids is that local sheriff Mark Curran (pictured), who is launching the raids, happens to be married to the head of the state's child support enforcement. Seems like a conflict of interest to me--because of the personal connection, he has more motivation to commit resources to making arrests on child support warrants as opposed to other warrants. Curran's public email address is Sheriff@co.lake.il.us.

Deadbeat parent roundups to continue
July 3, 2007
By Jim Newton

Sheriff Mark Curran warned Monday that his office will continue to pool resources with the Lake County State's Attorney's Office to target child-support scofflaws.

Curran said deadbeat parents will continue to be targeted in operations such as a sweep last week that led to the arrest of six alleged child-support violators.

Curran said investigators with his office have been designated to team up with officials of the state's attorney's office to continue to pursue non-payment cases.

"We know who they are," he said of the violators. "By pooling up, we have more people who can strap on armor (and conduct sweeps)."

There are currently about 300 outstanding warrants in Lake County for failure to pay child support, according to Irene Curran, head of the State's Attorney's Child Support Division. She is the wife of the sheriff.

Arrested last week on contempt of court charges for failure to pay child support were Rodney Calvert of Waukegan, Thomas Pitts of North Chicago, Willie Pope of North Chicago, Larry Usher of North Chicago, Riccardo Wyche of North Chicago and Daniel Young of North Chicago.

Officials said Usher was carrying $10,000 in cash when he was arrested. He was only required to post $3,000 of that money as bail, Irene Curran said, but added that her office would petition to increase his child support payments.

"He obviously has found some source of income," she said.

The North Chicago Police Department and the Metropolitan Enforcement Group assisted in the sweep, which took place Wednesday.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The National Organization for Women is holding its annual national conference--"Fast Forward: Women Take Charge"--on July 13-15. One of NOW's main complaints is the alleged mistreatment of women in family court.

One of their presentations--conducted by Renee Beeker, President of Michigan NOW, and Vickie Masotti, is titled "Women Victimized in Family Courts: How to Make the System Accountable." NOW writes:

"Many feminists believe that the family courts are in crisis, as the number of women losing custody of minor children to documented batterers and sexual abusers mounts. One woman whose family has suffered as a result of aggressive courtroom tactics by so-called fathers' rights activists and biased court personnel will tell her story. In addition, there will be a review of data from a national survey of court watches conducted by the chair of the NOW Family Law Ad Hoc Committee. This information is intended to hold the family courts accountable and to enable activists to effectively aid women and children victimized by an unfair system."

The "woman losing custody to abusive ex-husband" script is one of NOW's bugaboos. I've looked into the three most highly-publicized cases featured by the NOW and their colleagues with the Battered Mothers Custody Conference--the Genia Shockome case, the Sadia Loeliger case, and the Bridget Marks case. In each case, we were told that a fit, loving, protective mother was stripped of custody by an abusive father.

When I first started looking into these cases, I figured there probably were some where the mothers really were mistreated. I still think those cases are out there, but I haven't found them yet. Neither the Shockome case, the Loeliger case, nor the Marks case fit the NOW/BMCC "protective mother losing custody to abusive father" model. None even came close.

In the Loeliger case, it was the mother who had been found culpable of child abuse by a California juvenile court. The father got custody not due to family court machinations, as the mother's supporters claimed, but because the juvenile court removed the little girl from the mother's care because of the physical abuse.

In the Marks case, all five judges who heard the case, male and female, concluded that she had coached her little girls into asserting that they had been molested by their father.

In the Shockome case, the mother's absolute refusal to co-parent with her ex-husband led the courts--eventually, after giving her many chances--to transfer custody of the kids from Genia to her ex-husband.

I explained all of these cases in more detail in my co-authored column Shockome Syndrome.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The war on so-called "deadbeat dads" is often really just a war on low-income men who are unable to pay the money the deeply-flawed child support system demands. Roughly 100,000 men are jailed each year for alleged nonpayment of child support. In many cases this amounts to debtors prison--men being jailed because they are unable to pay. (To learn more, see my co-authored column When Beating up on 'Deadbeat Dads' is Unfair, Houston Chronicle, 1/7/07).

Bryan Cottingham, an embattled Tennessee father who was jailed for criminal contempt of court in 2002, is suing because he says he was jailed even though he did not have the ability to pay the money demanded. The case has many of the hallmarks of the abusive child support system, including the fact that Cottingham was charged child support based on an income he no longer was able to make. The case also demonstrates the abuses perpetrated by private child support collection agencies.

Child-support suit challenges jail tactic--Dad says inability to pay is no crime
Sheila Burke
Nashville Tennessean, 6/25/07

Bryan Cottingham insists he had no intention of trying to escape the $37,000 he owed in back child support -- he says he just didn't have the money to pay. But that didn't stop a private collection agency working for the state from asking a Williamson County court to throw him in jail. Without a lawyer for much of the case, the freelance television producer and traffic reporter was sentenced to 170 days for criminal contempt of court. In 2002, he spent two days behind bars before making bail.

After years of legal wrangling, the Tennessee Supreme Court unanimously overturned the convictions, ruling that no one proved Cottingham had the money and refused to pay.

Cottingham, now 60, is pushing a federal lawsuit, hoping to collect damages and prevent the state child-support collectors from improperly using the threat of jail to pressure people who can't afford to pay.

"I never tried to get out of paying child support. I never felt like I should get out of it," he said, adding: "I can tell you that there was nothing lower in my life than when I was in that jail cell"...

During the 1990s, Cottingham paid support based on the $75,000 annual pay he earned at the time. But then his business tanked. "My income dropped about 80 percent," Cottingham said.

The payments were lowered, but he still couldn't keep up. The hole got deeper and deeper until he owed $37,000 in back child support and $36,000 in back alimony...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

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