New Column: Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick

July 9, 2007

 
New Column: Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick

My new co-authored column, Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick (Wisconsin State Journal, Buffalo News, 6/30/07), criticizes the newly-introduced Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act of 2007 for misunderstanding the roots of fatherlessness.

To write a Letter to the Editor of the Wisconsin State Journal regarding Fatherhood bill: Not enough carrot, too much stick, click here. To write a Letter to the Editor of the Buffalo News regarding Obama's legislation does too little to encourage fathers, click here.

I co-authored the column, which appears below, with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

Obama's Responsible Fatherhood Bill--Not Enough Carrot, Too Much Stick
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Wisconsin State Journal, Buffalo News, 6/30/07

U.S. Senators Barack Obama (D-IL) and Evan Bayh (D-IN) recently introduced the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act of 2007, which they say will address our "national epidemic of absentee fathers." Obama and Bayh are correct that fatherless children are dramatically more likely to commit crimes, drop out of school, use drugs, or get pregnant than children who have fathers in their homes. The Responsible Fatherhood Act is explicitly a carrot and stick approach. The problem is that the

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carrot is too small and the stick is already too big.

Currently many noncustodial fathers--particularly African-American and Latino fathers, upon whom Obama often focuses--are required to pay their child support to the state to reimburse the cost of public assistance, instead of to the children's mothers. This is demoralizing for low-income men struggling to make a difference in their kids' lives.

The Responsible Fathers Act will make this money go directly to the mothers, instead of the state, a policy which research shows helps bring fathers closer to their children. The bill will also expand the Earned Income Tax Credit and provide fathers with job training services.

All of these are good things, but the bill's stick--increasing federal reimbursements for child support enforcement--is damaging and misguided. Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement data shows that two-thirds of those behind on child support nationwide earn poverty-level wages; less than four percent of the national child support debt is owed by those earning $40,000 or more a year.

Most "deadbeat dads" are low-income men who are unable to meet the demands of the child support system because of their employment problems. Stepping up already draconian enforcement only makes it more difficult for them to play a meaningful role in their children's lives.

Bayh himself endorses such wrongheaded efforts, boasting without a trace of irony that when he was the governor of Indiana, "We used 'most wanted' posters to track down deadbeat parents and intercepted their tax refunds, lottery winnings and unemployment benefits" (emphasis added).

The biggest problem with the Responsible Fatherhood Act, however, is that it reflects its authors' misunderstanding of fatherlessness. Obama says he seeks to "make it easier" for men who choose to be responsible fathers, but his bill ignores the biggest roadblock fathers face--a family law system which does little to protect the loving bonds these dads share with their children.

While some fathers voluntarily remove themselves from their children's lives, many seek a greater role. Yet most child custody arrangements provide fathers only a few days a month to spend with their children, and fighting for shared parenting is expensive and difficult. Custodial mothers frequently fail to honor visitation orders, and while the United States spends nearly $5 billion a year enforcing child support, there is no system in place to help enforce visitation orders. In such cases, fathers must scrape together money for an attorney so they can go to court, and even then courts enforce visitation orders
indifferently.

According to the Children's Rights Council, a Washington, DC-based advocacy group, more than five million American children each year have their access to their noncustodial parents interfered with or blocked by custodial parents.

The benefits these fathers could provide their children are incalculable. For example, a study recently released by Boston College found that when nonresident fathers are involved in their adolescent children's lives, the incidence of substance abuse, violence, crime, and truancy decreases markedly. Most of the families in the study, which was published in the journal Child Development, are low-income African-American and Hispanic families. The study's lead author, professor Rebekah Levine Coley, says the study found involved nonresident fathers to be "an important protective factor for adolescents."

Obama is correct when he notes that it would be naive to think "government alone can solve this problem." Yet while the text of the Responsible Fatherhood Act mentions "child support" 65 times, "custody," "visitation," "parenting time," and "access denial" do not appear even once. Lawmakers can't turn a disinterested father into a caring one, but they can do much to break down the many barriers separating devoted fathers from their children. That's where the focus of the Responsible Fatherhood Act should be.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.


Helping Divorced Men Rebound, Rebuild, and Reinvent Themselves

Family law attorney Adam Michael Sacks (no relation) sponsors seminars to help divorced men rebound, rebuild, and reinvent themselves. His next seminar is in Costa Rica from August 15--22. Below I ask Sacks, a divorced father of two, some questions.

Glenn: Your upcoming Costa Rica seminar helps divorced men "rebuild and reinvent" themselves. This sounds great, but what does it mean in practical terms?

Adam: IKP Seminars is all about starting over.  After a difficult life change like a divorce, everything seems mixed up, all your foundations are shaken.  At IKP we work on three areas:

1) Your image. We help you improve that and reinvent yourself.

2) Your knowledge. We teach you how to be successful with the modern woman.

3) Pleasure. You have a great week away in a new and exotic culture.

Glenn: Ross Jeffries--creator of the Master the Art of Speed Seduction--is your Guest Educator. What will participants learn from him?

Adam: Ross Jeffries is the person Tom Cruise portrayed in the major Oscar-nominated film Magnolia. He is the founder, the master of relating to and making romantic connections with women.  IKP clients will learn hands-on, both in lectures and in the field, how to meet, fearlessly approach and have success with women.  Having learned those skills in our workshops abroad, you'll take them home with you. You'll know what to do and how to act to get your social and romantic life back on track.

Glenn: Why Costa Rica?

Adam: Costa Rica is beautiful, peaceful (they don't even an army), and exotic. It's also nearby.  The people of Costa Rica love Americans.  It is also a place for men to "play."

Among other things, Costa Rica has beautiful weather, incredible beaches, legal casino gambling, sports bars, legal Cuban cigars, strip clubs, and Viagra available over-the-counter. It's a great place to rejuvenate yourself. Plus it's modern--high speed wireless Internet, banking, long distance calling, quality hotels, etc. We take care of everything--you just relax, enjoy, learn and grow.

To learn more about the seminar, call 800-340-7320 or click here. Adam can be reached at adam@ikpseminars.com.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

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U.K. Singer/Songwriter Amy Winehouse Brags About 'Beating Up' Her Husband

"I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk...If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him."--U.K. singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse, speaking about her relationship with her new husband

I've noted on many occasions that research shows that domestic violence by women against men is a significant problem, and the "woman as victim/man as perp" model for domestic violence is a gross distortion.

U.K. singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse pictured) recently bragged openly about physically abusing her husband. Men who beat their wives are locked up, stigmatized, and vilified--and rightfully so. Yet here a high-profile woman admits--no, brags--that she beats her husband, and it's OK. No backlash or even recognition that this is wrong.

Winehouse is set to perform at Lollapalooza in August and has a hit high on the charts. Somehow I find it hard to believe that a man who brags about getting drunk and beating his wife would be welcomed at Lollapalooza, or anywhere else.

Winehouse: 'I attack Blake'
UK News Yahoo, 6-12-07

Soul superstar Amy Winehouse turns "violent and abusive" after too much alcohol and often attacks new husband Blake Fielder-Civil. The Rehab singer admits she becomes aggressive after drinking alcohol and uses her husband as a "punch-bag" - but insists she is "not a fighter".

She says, "I'm either a really good drunk or I'm an out-and-out s**t, horrible, violent, abusive, emotional drunk.

"I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk. I don't think I have ever bruised him, but I do have my way. If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him.

"I'm not a fighter, but if I am backed against the wall I'll kick the s**t out of anyone.

"I don't think your ability to fight has anything to do with how big you are. It's to do with how much anger is in you."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children
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Anti-Male Bias in Editorial Cartoons--Gary Varvel (Part II)

When gender is an open option in an editorial cartoon, the cartoonist will usually depict whoever in the cartoon is lazy, foolish, selfish, stupid, etc., as a man. Indianapolis Star editorial cartoonist
Gary Varvel does this, both in his cartoon "Cell Phones" and here in "Voter Interest."

Yes, I'm sure male voters are just as likely to be lazy and uniformed as female voters, but somehow the stereotypical lazy voter is almost always male.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond
Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Called by some a "fathers' rights organization," Fathers & Families is made up of men and women who believe that fathers are an essential part of a child's life and that divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org 
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Annie's Mailbox: 'My mother is still mad at my father...Mom makes me feel like I can't love them both'

"My parents have been divorced for nearly a decade, and both have remarried. The problem is, even after all this time, my mother is still mad at my father...Mom makes me feel like I can't love them both at the same time."

My mother often points out good blog/newspaper column fodder to me (such as this recent anti-father OPUS cartoon), and yesterday she sent me this Parental Alienation segment from Annie's Mailbox. In it, a young woman with the handle "Enough Already" writes:

"Dear Annie: My parents have been divorced for nearly a decade, and both have remarried. The problem is, even after all this time, my mother is still mad at my father and can't stand to be around him.

"My brother is getting married soon, and my mother (who still believes she has the moral high ground) is hoping my grandmother will seize the opportunity to give my dad a piece of her mind. She told me she was glad someone 'loved her enough to take her side.' I tried to explain that we all need to move on. Yes, my father did some bad things when they were married, but I love both my parents. Unfortunately, Mom makes me feel like I can't love them both at the same time.

"I don't know what to do about Mom anymore, and I don't think it's right for my brother to have to deal with her antics on his big day. Any suggestions? -- Enough Already"

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, Annie's Mailbox's co-authors, respond:

"Dear Enough: It's a shame your mother is still so bitter that she will not let go of her anger. It hurts her more than anyone else. You do not have to succumb to this kind of emotional blackmail. Your mother's attempts to guilt you into repudiating your father should be ignored. When she says unpleasant things, smile with kindness and pity, and reply, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.' Then walk away. When she truly believes you will no longer respond to her rancor, she may stop subjecting you to it."

That seems like a fair response, though I probably would have recommended something stronger. A few more points:

1) This is yet another example of how ludicrous the feminist position on Parental Alienation is. The National Organization for Women and other misguided women's advocates consider Parental Alienation a myth used by abusive fathers to blame their ex-wives when their children are hostile to them. Recently, Kim Gandy, President of NOW, condemned PA as "junk science, junk justice." I suppose "Enough Already" must be a plant from a fathers' rights group. To learn more, see my co-authored column In this Turf War, Kids Are the Prize (Tallahassee Democrat, 6/13/07).

2) I'm suspicious of  "Enough Already's" comment that "Yes, my father did some bad things when they were married, but I love both my parents." Maybe the father really did do some bad things, but it's also very possible that the young woman only heard the mother's description of events. Angry, vindictive women have a wonderful talent for spinning everything single thing a man does so it's bad or wrong, and our "woman good/man bad" culture often acts as an enabler.

Also, given how endlessly angry and hateful this woman is now, many years later, it makes me wonder what kind of emotional abuse this man had to endure while they were together--abuse which may well explain and even fully justify his alleged bad behaviour. She doesn't let her anger stop her from hurting her daughter and her son--what would make us think she thought twice about hurting the father while they were married?

On a positive note, societal awareness of Parental Alienation Syndrome is steadily increasing. The Parental Alienation Awareness Organization has made great strides in gaining recognition of April 25 as "Parental Alienation Awareness Day."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Divorced Men--Enjoy the Ultimate Guy Getaway to Costa Rica: August 15--22, 2007
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Help, Resources for Dads
The National Fathers' Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Houston. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers' rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org


New Zealand Domestic Violence Policy--If You Report Your Wife's Attacks on You, They Take Away Your Kids

"Auckland police responded to a domestic violence case, where a mother seriously assaulted her partner in front of their children. The police advise the father that if he lays a complaint, then the mother will be taken away and the children taken into Department of Child, Youth and Family Services' care. (emphasis added)

"The police appear reluctant to leave the children in the father's care, even though he's the victim of the alleged assault, with the result that the father refuses to make a statement, thus allowing the children to stay at home and the mother to escape the consequences of her actions...If the genders were reversed...and the father was charged with assaulting the mother...the police would have no hesitation in locking up Dad and leaving the children with Mum."

New Zealand Politician Judy Turner (pictured) is criticizing an incredible domestic violence policy where (apparently) male victims of domestic assault have their children taken by Child Protective Services if they report the abuse to the police. See Turner's press release below.

Domestic violence policies must treat all equally
Press Release: United Future NZ Party
Wednesday, 4 July 2007

United Future deputy leader Judy Turner is questioning whether the police treat men and women equally when it comes to dealing with domestic violence.

She points to a story aired on May 22 on TV2's Police-10 programme in which Auckland police respond to a domestic violence case, where a mother seriously assaulted her partner in front of their children.

The police advise the father that if he lays a complaint, then the mother will be taken away and the children taken into CYF's care.

The police appear reluctant to leave the children in the father's care, even though he's the victim of the alleged assault, with the result that the father refuses to make a statement, thus allowing the children to stay at home and the mother to escape the consequences of her actions.

"If the genders were reversed," says Mrs Turner, "and the father was charged with assaulting the mother, I'm certain the police would have no hesitation in locking up Dad and leaving the children with Mum.

"I have quizzed the Police Minister, Annette King on this apparent inconsistency in policy and she says she's unaware of any problems with the police approach, even though they have no policy to cover what they should do when a woman is the alleged assailant.

"I have every sympathy with the police when they are called on to deal with complex domestic violence cases, but everyone must be treated equally regardless of gender, if we are not to have family relationships plagued with an endless sense of grievance," says Mrs Turner.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Midwest Fathers
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Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody
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Boys and the Boy Crisis--Third National Men's Equality Congress, July 13-14 in Washington, DC

Boys and the Boy Crisis, the Third National Men's Equality Congress, will be held July 13-14 in Washington, DC. The speakers list is great--perhaps the best I've ever seen at a conference. Speakers include:

1) Matt O'Connor--leader of the English fathers' group Fathers 4 Justice. O'Connor has done more than anybody to raise awareness of the terrible social problem of children being separated from their fathers after divorce or separation.

2) Christina Hoff Sommers--author of the books The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men and Who Stole Feminism?. In The War Against Boys, Sommers asserts, "It's a bad time to be a boy in America," and takes a hard look at the boy crisis and the misguided policies which have helped create it. Who Stole Feminism? is a devastating expose of the way feminists have disseminated misinformation about men and gender issues via the media and academia, and helped poison our popular culture against men.

3) Warren Farrell--the intellectual wellspring of the men's movement, and the author of  Father & Child Reunion, the Myth of Male Power, and others. Farrell is also an expert on shared parenting--to watch Warren speak, click on Warren Farrell's Case for Shared Parenting (Video).

4) Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young, co-authors of Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture and Legalizing Misandry: From Public Shame to Systemic Discrimination Against Men.

5) Stephen Baskerville--president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children and author of the soon-to-be released book Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family.

6) Glenn Sacks--men's and fathers' issues columnist, commentator, talk show host and blogger.

To register for the conference, click here.

There will also be three 2+ hour pre-conference workshops, one conducted by Matt O'Connor, one by Warren Farrell, and one by Glenn Sacks. The workshops will start Friday morning and conclude prior to the conference opening that evening.

These workshops will allow the speakers to go into greater detail and allow participants to spend more time with our speakers. The pricing for early registrants will be $33 for each workshop. Attending these workshops is extra and separate from the conference. People can choose to go to none, one, two or all three.

To sign up for 'early bird' prices for these workshops and/or to register for the conference, click here.

The mover and shaker behind these conferences is Tom Golden, LCSW, a Washington, DC-area men's activist. Golden does an excellent job--both of the previous conferences he's held were well-attended and well-organized.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights
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Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part III)--Feminist Blogger Labels Critics 'Male Supremacists'

Background: From time to time I ponder why there is such a divide between the feminist movement and the men's and fathers' movement. I wish this divide didn't exist, or at least that it were smaller. Yet sometimes I read things which make me believe that the divide will never be breached. One example is Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part I), a recent one is Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part II)--Feminist Bloggers on the Duke Case.

In the latter, I discussed the views of feminist blogger "Violet Socks" of the mid-level feminist blog www.reclusiveleftist.com concerning the Duke case. "Socks" believes that the Duke case means "The message is clear: You can terrorize some woman all you want, call her a nigger and threaten to shove a broomstick up her and knock her around and probably rape her, and...win...Any questions about why every single athletic team in this country now has carte blanche to rape and torture any woman they get their nasty goddamn hands on?"

Apparently some of my readers went over to www.reclusiveleftist.com to debate the Duke issue. Socks responds by labeling the referring site--mine, apparently--a "male supremacist site," and writes a blog post called "Attention men's 'rights' activists, white 'rights' activists, neo-Nazis, skinheads, Ku Klux Klan members, etc." Socks writes:

"Fuck off. Go away. Do not post here. If you do, your comment will be deleted.

"The intertube is a big place and there are plenty of websites where you can indulge your fetid delusions about how the nigras/Jews/bitches have ruined the world and robbed you of your destiny. Not here.

"FUCK OFF."

I've seen numerous feminist bloggers react to criticism from men's activists in more or less this way, including Amanda Marcotte, Trish Wilson, and others. I can't help but think that if these ladies were really so sure of their feminist views and the arguments which support them, they wouldn't have a meltdown when challenged.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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Fathers' Rights Legal Help
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Imagine That--Australian Women Don't Like Being Arrested for Domestic Violence

Apparently some Australian women are unhappy over the way police are arresting them for domestic violence. They're protesting against alleged police brutality, but the police are saying the woman arrested in the incident was violent.

I've no idea who is right and who is wrong, and since these are Aboriginal women, racism could be an element here. But it sounds as if the women feel the police are taking a heavy-handed, overly interventionist role, and are interfering unnecessarily in people's family lives. Imagine that...

Women seek to confront police over domestic violence arrests
Jul 3, 2007
ABC News, Australia

A group of women from Alice Springs town camps want to confront the Territory Police Minister over the way officers are carrying out domestic violence arrests.

The women have met at the Tangentyere Council in support of a camp resident who claims she was kicked in the ribs by police.

Police say they had to use force with the woman because she became violent, but deny she was kicked.

Eileen Hoosan from the Mount Nancy camp says the women are not happy with the way police are carrying out domestic violence raids on camps.

"We were willing to work with the police, but now I think we have to confront the police, confront the Minister for police and say, 'is this the way police are going to act?'," she said.
"I think the police and whoever they're going to bring in from the other states, they need to deal with Aboriginal people at their level."

In a statement, the Territory Police Minister, Chris Burns, says there are robust and transparent systems in place to deal with complaints involving police.

He says anyone who has a grievance should pursue those options.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men
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National Child Support Enforcement Association Uses Enron-Style Accounting in Scramble to Protect Federal Funds

The National Child Support Enforcement Association recently held a Webinar on "How to Prevent Child Support Cuts." According to the NCSEA, "a cut in enforcement funds approved by Congress last year threatens to deprive children of $11 billion in support owed to them over 10 years." To learn more about the Webinar, click here.

The NCSEA and the child support enforcement industry push the idea that collections will drop or collapse if federal reimbursement funds are reduced. As I've discussed on numerous occasions, this is a myth. In my co-authored column Federal Child Support Enforcement Cuts Will Hurt Bureaucrats, not Children (Las Vegas Review-Journal & others, 12/17/05), I explained:

"Child support enforcement officials are sounding the alarm over proposed cuts in the federal funds that subsidize states' child support enforcement efforts. The cuts, which recently passed the House, will reduce federal reimbursement from 66% of the states' costs to 50% over five years.

"According to the Congressional Budget Office, this will lead to $24 billion in child support going uncollected over the next 10 years. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and Los Angeles County Child Support Services Department Director Philip Browning are warning that the cuts will mean a drastic reduction in the amount of child support collected. A bipartisan group of senators has penned a letter opposing the cuts, explaining that 'in 2004, more than $4 was collected in support for every dollar invested in the program.' All of these claims, however, are based on false assumptions and misleading data.

"It is true that federal figures show that over $20 billion in child support is collected nationwide yearly, and that only $5 billion is spent on enforcement. However, the vast majority of the funds collected are not done through enforcement tactics--they're simply the payments already being made by law-abiding noncustodial parents. These payments will continue to be made regardless of the cuts. The myth that child support enforcement is a bargain was created by incorrectly counterposing total collections with expenditures on enforcement."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody
Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org

Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads
Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com


The First Man...

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation cases are among the most difficult and complicated in family law. J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an expert on parental alienation. If you're a target parent, he can help you get back into your children's lives. Bone has worked as a custody evaluator and as a therapist and knows how to help the court find the truth. His services are available throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662 or by email by clicking here. www.jmbconsulting.org

Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally experienced the heartbreak of divorce and family breakup, Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to advance the interests and concerns of fathers in domestic and family law litigation. Personal attention is given to clients to help them through a very difficult time in their lives. www.brettwmartin.com


More 'Deadbeat Dad' Raids in Chicago--and a Conflict of Interest

"Deadbeat" parent round-ups are continuing in Chicago (I criticized these a few weeks ago in my co-authored column  Most Illinois 'Deadbeats' Aren't 'Reprehensible' -- They're Broke , Chicago Daily Southtown, 6/20/07).

Perhaps one reason for these raids is that local sheriff Mark Curran (pictured), who is launching the raids, happens to be married to the head of the state's child support enforcement. Seems like a conflict of interest to me--because of the personal connection, he has more motivation to commit resources to making arrests on child support warrants as opposed to other warrants. Curran's public email address is Sheriff@co.lake.il.us.


Deadbeat parent roundups to continue

July 3, 2007
By Jim Newton

Sheriff Mark Curran warned Monday that his office will continue to pool resources with the Lake County State's Attorney's Office to target child-support scofflaws.

Curran said deadbeat parents will continue to be targeted in operations such as a sweep last week that led to the arrest of six alleged child-support violators.

Curran said investigators with his office have been designated to team up with officials of the state's attorney's office to continue to pursue non-payment cases.

"We know who they are," he said of the violators. "By pooling up, we have more people who can strap on armor (and conduct sweeps)."

There are currently about 300 outstanding warrants in Lake County for failure to pay child support, according to Irene Curran, head of the State's Attorney's Child Support Division. She is the wife of the sheriff.

Arrested last week on contempt of court charges for failure to pay child support were Rodney Calvert of Waukegan, Thomas Pitts of North Chicago, Willie Pope of North Chicago, Larry Usher of North Chicago, Riccardo Wyche of North Chicago and Daniel Young of North Chicago.

Officials said Usher was carrying $10,000 in cash when he was arrested. He was only required to post $3,000 of that money as bail, Irene Curran said, but added that her office would petition to increase his child support payments.

"He obviously has found some source of income," she said.

The North Chicago Police Department and the Metropolitan Enforcement Group assisted in the sweep, which took place Wednesday.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

My Family Has Two Houses...and I'm Okay
A workshop for children of separation or divorce in a workbook! In the privacy of your own home, you can provide your child with a safe way of looking at their thoughts and feelings and help to open discussion of relevant issues for them with you. This workbook can make the difference between your child surviving your divorce and thriving despite it! To learn more about My family has two houses ...and I'm Okay! and to order, click here.

How to Win Shared Custody
If you are an active, engaged, committed, dedicated, loving parent facing a divorce, family law attorney Nicholas Palermo's The Ten Essential Elements to Winning Joint Shared Physical and Legal Custody can help you protect your relationship with your children. www.TenEssentialElements.com

Is being a Disneyland Dad taking its toll?  Does your 'career' get in the way of seeing your kids?  
Having dealt with the family law system for over two decades, I understand the frustration of working long hours at a job while dealing with the unfair rules that our system imposes on dads and their kids. I finally found a life-changing income opportunity that allows me the time and money freedom to be there for my kids on my terms. If you would like to learn more about how to take back control and live your life without limits, visit liberatedintexas.com.


NOW's National Conference July 13-15--'Women Victimized in Family Courts'

The National Organization for Women is holding its annual national conference--"Fast Forward: Women Take Charge"--on July 13-15. One of NOW's main complaints is the alleged mistreatment of women in family court.

One of their presentations--conducted by Renee Beeker, President of Michigan NOW, and Vickie Masotti, is titled "Women Victimized in Family Courts: How to Make the System Accountable." NOW writes:

"Many feminists believe that the family courts are in crisis, as the number of women losing custody of minor children to documented batterers and sexual abusers mounts. One woman whose family has suffered as a result of aggressive courtroom tactics by so-called fathers' rights activists and biased court personnel will tell her story. In addition, there will be a review of data from a national survey of court watches conducted by the chair of the NOW Family Law Ad Hoc Committee. This information is intended to hold the family courts accountable and to enable activists to effectively aid women and children victimized by an unfair system."

The "woman losing custody to abusive ex-husband" script is one of NOW's bugaboos. I've looked into the three most highly-publicized cases featured by the NOW and their colleagues with the Battered Mothers Custody Conference--the Genia Shockome case, the Sadia Loeliger case, and the Bridget Marks case. In each case, we were told that a fit, loving, protective mother was stripped of custody by an abusive father.

When I first started looking into these cases, I figured there probably were some where the mothers really were mistreated. I still think those cases are out there, but I haven't found them yet. Neither the Shockome case, the Loeliger case, nor the Marks case fit the NOW/BMCC "protective mother losing custody to abusive father" model. None even came close.

In the Loeliger case, it was the mother who had been found culpable of child abuse by a California juvenile court. The father got custody not due to family court machinations, as the mother's supporters claimed, but because the juvenile court removed the little girl from the mother's care because of the physical abuse.

In the Marks case, all five judges who heard the case, male and female, concluded that she had coached her little girls into asserting that they had been molested by their father.

In the Shockome case, the mother's absolute refusal to co-parent with her ex-husband led the courts--eventually, after giving her many chances--to transfer custody of the kids from Genia to her ex-husband.

I explained all of these cases in more detail in my co-authored column Shockome Syndrome.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Los Angeles/Orange County Dads--Because They're Your Kids, Too
If you're a dad facing a divorce or separation and you need quality legal representation in Los Angeles or Orange County, the Law Office of David Stone can help. Remember, they're your kids, too. www.help4dad.com
Help for Georgia Dads
Georgia attorney Edwin M. Saginar has 36 years of experience in family law and criminal defense, including domestic violence. He has seen many spouses falsely accuse their significant others of family violence, and knows how to defend your rights. www.edwinsaginar.com

Dad Who Was Jailed for Being Unable to Pay His Child Support Files Suit

The war on so-called "deadbeat dads" is often really just a war on low-income men who are unable to pay the money the deeply-flawed child support system demands. Roughly 100,000 men are jailed each year for alleged nonpayment of child support. In many cases this amounts to debtors prison--men being jailed because they are unable to pay. (To learn more, see my co-authored column When Beating up on 'Deadbeat Dads' is Unfair, Houston Chronicle, 1/7/07).

Bryan Cottingham, an embattled Tennessee father who was jailed for criminal contempt of court in 2002, is suing because he says he was jailed even though he did not have the ability to pay the money demanded. The case has many of the hallmarks of the abusive child support system, including the fact that Cottingham was charged child support based on an income he no longer was able to make. The case also demonstrates the abuses perpetrated by private child support collection agencies.


Child-support suit challenges jail tactic--Dad says inability to pay is no crime
Sheila Burke
Nashville Tennessean, 6/25/07

Bryan Cottingham insists he had no intention of trying to escape the $37,000 he owed in back child support -- he says he just didn't have the money to pay. But that didn't stop a private collection agency working for the state from asking a Williamson County court to throw him in jail. Without a lawyer for much of the case, the freelance television producer and traffic reporter was sentenced to 170 days for criminal contempt of court. In 2002, he spent two days behind bars before making bail.

After years of legal wrangling, the Tennessee Supreme Court unanimously overturned the convictions, ruling that no one proved Cottingham had the money and refused to pay.

Cottingham, now 60, is pushing a federal lawsuit, hoping to collect damages and prevent the state child-support collectors from improperly using the threat of jail to pressure people who can't afford to pay.

"I never tried to get out of paying child support. I never felt like I should get out of it," he said, adding: "I can tell you that there was nothing lower in my life than when I was in that jail cell"...

During the 1990s, Cottingham paid support based on the $75,000 annual pay he earned at the time. But then his business tanked. "My income dropped about 80 percent," Cottingham said.

The payments were lowered, but he still couldn't keep up. The hole got deeper and deeper until he owed $37,000 in back child support and $36,000 in back alimony...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Expose False Allegations with Technology
Don't let the anti-male bias in criminal law victimize you. If you could be falsely accused by an angry woman, be prepared! Use technology to expose the real aggressor. DontMakeHerMad.com
 
Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com
Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Eight states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

She Squanders Her Divorce Settlement, so He Has to Pay Her Again--30 Years Later!

Several of you sent me this amazing story--Court ordered payout 30 years after divorce. Get this:

Dennis North gets married and has three kids. His wife cheats on him and they get divorced. Dennis buys her a house and investments as part of the divorce settlement, and raises the three kids himself. Later, he pays her more money, even though she refuses to work. She squanders the money he gave her, and now, 30 years later, guess what? He has to pay her all over again because she's "fallen on hard times." Nice.

Court ordered payout 30 years after divorce
U.K. Telegraph, 6/28/07

A wealthy retired builder was ordered to pay more money to the woman he divorced nearly 30 years ago after a judge heard she had "fallen on hard times", the Court of Appeal was told yesterday.

Dennis North, 70, was divorced from his first wife Jean, 61, in 1978 - a year after finding out she was having an affair with the man she later went to live with.

In 1981 he made a financial settlement with the woman he married in 1964, buying her a house and investments.

Over the years, he increased her assets so that she would have been able to live comfortably for the rest of her life, the judges were told.

But in 1999, she sold up and moved to Australia where she saw her capital dwindle because of bad investments and what the court was told was a lifestyle beyond her means.

A district judge awarded her a lump sum of 202,000 GBP in April last year despite agreeing that Mrs North's money troubles had nothing to do with her former husband and he had no further responsibility towards her.

Since his divorce from his first wife, Mr North had prospered and his wealth is now estimated at between 5 million and 11 million GBP, the court was told.

Mr North, who was left to bring up the three children of the marriage and has two children by his second wife, wants the Court of Appeal to quash the award.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick Palermo is a shared custody advocate who believes that divorced dads are parents, not visitors. The Law Offices of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and committed trial law firm which has worked to make shared custody for all fit parents the law of the land. LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO

Los Angeles Dads--Free Legal Consultation on Your Case
If you are involved in a divorce, domestic violence, paternity, child custody or support case in the greater Los Angeles area, call Stephen A. Gershman to schedule your FREE initial one hour consultation at (888) 295-1756 or (818) 990-6505. Gershman is certified as a Specialist in Family Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. He is an experienced attorney, over 25 years, who will competently and aggressively defend you against unjust domestic violence restraining orders or unfair financial obligations. When Parental Alienation or custody is an issue, he will help you protect your relationship with your kids. www.losangelesfamilylawyer.com


In Defense of Stephen Baskerville

Stephen Baskerville is a talented writer who also serves as the president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. Like many successful people, Stephen is sometimes the target of carping and misguided criticism. Such is the case this week.

Victor Smith, the old (but still quite vigorous) fathers' rights warhorse, wrote that "The real problem [with the fathers' rights movement] is that Stephen Baskerville, as a Fathers Rights' leader, has failed Fathers."

According to Smith, Baskerville has:

1) Failed to provide a "definition for 'Fathers Rights,' what it is or what it is not."

2) "Never articulated an idea of Sole Father Child Custody, which leaves an open door for the government to step in and assume control of fathers' children."

3) "Has only promoted some idea of Joint Custody for children while promoting no rights and/or responsibility for Fathers."

4) "Failed to understand that the women and mothers were taking control of domestic relations court through the Domestic Violence Act and/or Violence Against Women Act."

These criticisms are very misguided:

1) Stephen has worked hard to bring attention to the problem of false domestic violence accusations being used as custody maneuvers. He has also written much about the problem of restraining orders based on false charges, the Violence Against Women Act, and similar issues.

2) I have no idea why Victor says that Stephen has failed to promote rights for fathers--one of Stephen's main points is that, barring unfitness, the State should not be able to eliminate (or de facto eliminate) a father's (or a mother's) rights.

3) While Victor criticizes Stephen for not advocating sole custody for fathers, I believe that sole custody for fathers is just as destructive as the current norm of sole custody for mothers, and Stephen is correct in not advocating it.

It's no secret to anyone who has read my work and Stephen's that there are significant differences between us, and that we don't see the problems faced by fathers in the same way. However, I see little validity to Smith's criticisms.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Legal Help for Fathers in New Jersey
If you're a New Jersey father facing a divorce or separation, the law firm of Pitman, Pitman, Mindas, Grossman & Lee can help. PitmanLaw.com

Help for Florida Dads
Neil Leavitt, PA helps Florida dads defend their relationships with their children during divorce or separation. Leavitt specializes in family law and has practiced law for nearly three decades. The Law Office of Neil Leavitt can be contacted by phone at (954) 989-5858. 


Great Baseball Plays (Part I)

One of the joys of YouTube is being able to easily access great sports clips. In this college baseball clip a baserunner does a remarkable flip/dive in order to score. The clip has it from two different camera angles, and they're both worth watching. To watch, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law Attorney Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com exposes the truth about what is happening in our family law system. Lisa, the all-time leader in appearances on His Side with Glenn Sacks, says that she was "tired of having her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications and politically-correct newspapers" and decided to start her own website. RealFamilyLaw.com

The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and happy marriage? If you've been checking out advice columns or seeing a therapist, you may have been looking in the wrong place. Despite all the advances in brain technology, and all of that we have learned about developmental psychology--men and women are given the same advice about solving problems. But when we ask men what works for them, we hear a different story. www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com

Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange counties and you're facing a divorce, separation, or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. www.OddLaw.net


NOW's National Conference July 13-15--'Fast Forward: Women Take Charge'

The National Organization for Women is holding its annual national conference--"Fast Forward: Women Take Charge"--on July 13-15. Among the featured speakers will be Jennifer Granholm, the Governor of Michigan.

Unlike many in the men's and fathers' movement, I do not see the feminist movement as a national disaster or an evil conspiracy. I think feminists did (and to some degree still do) have legitimate grievances. Yet while feminism has undoubtedly done many good things, it has also undoubtedly done great harm, too.

My biggest grievance against NOW is its opposition to shared parenting. At the time of NOW's conference last year I co-authored a column making this point, which appears below.

NOW at 40: Group's Opposition to Shared Parenting Contradicts Its Goal of Gender Equality
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
New York Daily News, San Diego Union-Tribune & others, 7/7/06

The National Organization for Women turned 40 this summer, and formally celebrated its anniversary at its national conference in July. NOW President Kim Gandy has proudly recounted her organization's successes in opening up opportunities for women, and says they are "never giving up the dream of full equality for all."

Unfortunately, on some issues--particularly in family law and child custody--NOW's policies and actions contradict its ideals of "full equality for all." This is most evident in the group's dogged opposition to joint custody and shared parenting.

The logic behind shared parenting is hard to dispute. Kids love, want and need both their parents. When divorcing parents cannot agree on custody arrangements, as long as both parents are fit, they should both be allowed to share in parenting their children. Not surprisingly, research shows that children of divorce fare better under joint custody--where they spend significant amounts of time with each parent--than under sole custody.

NOW and its co-thinkers, to their credit, once encouraged fathers, fathering and shared parenting. In 1971 Gloria Steinem wrote that children suffer from having "too little father" in their lives, and that a more equal balance of parenting was needed. Karen DeCrow, president of NOW from 1974 to 1977, says "it was clear from the feminist writings and ideas of the '60s and '70s that joint custody was what we supported after a divorce."

Fathers have embraced the call for more father involvement. Despite an ever-expanding work week, children today benefit from receiving more hands-on fathering than ever before. The Families and Work Institute found that fathers now provide three-fourths as much child care as mothers do--50 percent more than 30 years ago.

Paradoxically, while fathers are more directly involved in their children's lives than ever, their bonds with their children are also more fragile.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

How Does Sex Discrimination Affect Men and Boys?
The National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles is a non-profit educational & civil rights organization that looks at the ways sex discrimination affects men and boys. NCFM-LA helps provide men a unified voice on important political and social issues. www.NCFMLA.org

File Taxes Online with  Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your taxes, check your refund status, and have your return reviewed by an experienced tax professional--all online.


Stephen Shames' Fatherhood Photos (Part IV)

Background: Photographic artist Stephen Shames has put together an excellent collection of fatherhood pictures for George Soros' Open Society Institute.

Shames says, "Low-income dads are largely absent from public policy discussions. The government, when it intervenes at all, directs its programmatic and financial support toward mothers. When men are discussed, they are often portrayed negatively--as deadbeat dads, for example--while positive programs that assist struggling, low-income dads are rarely mentioned. Society will throw men in jail for not paying child support before helping them acquire a job or the parenting skills that would enable them to provide for their children."

In the picture above, Jerrel Spires of Portland, Oregon cuts the grass with his son Josiah.

To learn more about Shames' photo series, click here and here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com

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