My Speech at the July Men's Equality Congress, in D.C.--Anti-Male Media Bias

I will be speaking on one of my favorite topics--anti-male media bias--at the National Men's Equality Congress, July 13-14 in Washington D.C. Some examples I will be discussing include: the Roman v. Roman case; the Clara Harris case; the Lisa Nowak case; the Anna Nicole Smith paternity case; and numerous others.

In a separate speech, I will be discussing the drive to diminish the importance of fathers, as typified by the OPUS cartoon "Davie Dinkle has two moms" and the highly-publicized recent books Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men and Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women Are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family.

The theme of the conference is "Boys and the Boy Crisis"--to find out how to be there, click here.

Also speaking will be Matt O'Connor, leader of the English fathers' group Fathers 4 Justice, Warren Farrell, the intellectual wellspring of the men's movement, Christina Hoff Sommers, author of The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men and Who Stole Feminism?, Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young, co-authors of Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men

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One of the most egregious paternity fraud cases in the history of the United States came to at least a partial close this week. For 13 years, Bert Riddick (pictured) lost a huge chunk of his take-home pay to pay child support for a child everybody knew from the beginning was not his, and whom he had never met.

This week Riddick was finally, finally, FINALLY freed, as a Los Angeles court set aside his default paternity judgment. Sadly, Bert will never get back what he lost in terms of money, time, and heartache.

In my co-authored column Preserving Paternity Fraud (Orange County Register, 10/3/02), which concerned a paternity fraud bill vetoed by then-California Governor Gray Davis in 2002, I discussed Bert's case, writing:

"California Governor Gray Davis had the chance to free thousands of falsely condemned men last week. He chose federal funds instead.

"Davis vetoed the California Paternity Justice Act (AB 2240), which would have helped thousands of California men who were wrongly assigned paternity in default judgments, and who have been compelled by the state to pay years of child support for children whom DNA tests have shown are not theirs. In Los Angeles County in 2000, for example, 79 percent of paternity judgments were decreed by default. Most of these men had no idea they were 'fathers' until their wages were garnished.

"Technical instructor Bert Riddick of Carson is one of the men AB 2240 would have helped. Ten years ago, Riddick was erroneously named by an ex-girlfriend as the father of her child. By the time Riddick realized what had occurred, the statute of limitations for challenging paternity had passed. Riddick, his wife and their three children have fallen from the middle class to homelessness because he is forced to pay $1,400 a month in child support and arrearages. Like many paternity fraud victims, Riddick has never even met the child he is supporting...

"Davis could have freed thousands of these innocent men and their families by signing AB 2240. The bill would have helped men assigned paternity in default judgments by extending to three years from the date of discovery the period during which such judgments may be challenged through DNA testing. The bill would have allowed courts to vacate default paternity judgments which are shown to be erroneous, thus relieving falsely identified fathers of further child support.

"Instead of justice, Davis chose money.

"Under federal guidelines, states must identify the fathers of children whose mothers are receiving benefits or risk losing federal incentive money. In addition, states receive federal funding on child-support orders. Because federal rules do not require DNA testing to prove paternity, states have no incentive to demand accuracy in establishing paternity.

"In explaining his veto, Davis said that if AB 2240 became law the state might not meet federal requirements on collecting child-support payments, putting California at risk of losing $40 million in federal funds.

"Opponents of the bill included NOW, the National Center for Youth Law and the San Diego-based Children's Advocacy Institute. An institute official praised the veto, saying, "We're glad that the governor put children first"...

"Riddick was devastated by Davis' veto.

"'Davis and his supporters say they did this for the children. Let him come to my house and explain to my children why this is good for them.

"'The system lies to children about their own parentage and Gov. Davis thinks that's OK. The system defrauds thousands of innocent men and wounds their families and Gov. Davis thinks that's OK. The system puts money ahead of truth and justice and Davis thinks that's OK. What kind of message is this sending to our children?'"

To learn more about Bert's case and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Background: Since the mid-90s, many states have adopted aggressive arrest procedures on domestic violence calls. While politically popular, many of the architects of these types of policies are increasingly concerned that they have led to widespread abuses. Police officers are often encouraged to make arrests in petty incidents, often where the abuse is mutual or it is unclear who the aggressor was. They also are under political pressure to arrest men, not women. Moreover, many prosecutors follow "No Drop" policies in domestic violence cases, pursuing marginal cases which ordinarily would be dropped for lack of evidence.

To learn more, see my co-authored column Texas bill to create domestic violence offender registry will harm innocent men (Austin American-Statesman, 4/11/07) or click here.

In the Letter to the Editor below--Exploiting Marin jurors (Marin Independent Journal, 6/28/07)--a Marin, California woman blasts "politically correct" prosecutors for wasting jurors' time with a ludicrous, politically motivated, evidence-free domestic violence prosecution.

Exploiting Marin jurors

It is an injustice to our justice system to bring frivolous criminal prosecutions to the courtroom.

Last week, I spent three days as a juror in a case in which it seemed obvious early on that no conviction could possibly result.

A woman had called 911 complaining her fiance had been drinking and pushed her onto their bed. The defendant claimed he held her arms to keep her from hitting him with a phone. The next day, the woman phoned police and the district attorney's office asking that her fiance not be prosecuted. She stated that she had overreacted, and that she would do anything she could to stop the prosecution. True to her word, she came to court with an attorney and refused to answer any questions, claiming that to do so would be self-incriminating. Nonetheless, the case proceeded.

The only other witness the prosecution had was a policeman who had heard the woman's original complaint. Part of his testimony was contradicted by facts that could be ascertained from the 911 recording. To convict required the jury to find that there was no reasonable doubt that the man had pushed the woman onto their bed. Ten of the jurors heard the woman's call as a manipulative expression of anger. Two jurors agreed with the prosecutor that they heard fear in her voice. The outcome of the case rested on this subjective factor.

In the jury room, some of us speculated about why this case had ever been brought to court. Sixty-five citizens had spent a day being quizzed for 12 jurors and one alternate to be selected.

All of us had to abandon our family, employment and earning responsibilities for three days. Undoubtedly, tens of thousands of dollars were spent to pay for the combination of the prosecuting attorney, the judge and the public defender's services to bring this case to court. This waste of taxpayer money left me feeling cynical about the district attorney's political motivations and reluctant to serve as a juror again. It is time for the DA's office to use some discretion and to consider issues of proportionality before it requires 65 citizens to be such a captive audience.

Preventing domestic violence is a worthwhile goal, but this extreme form of political correctness does not advance the cause. Providing and promoting treatment for alcohol and drug dependence is also a most worthwhile goal, but this kind of judicial spectacle fails to advance that cause, too.

The people need to hold the district attorney's office to some standard of accountability other than rhetorical law and order.

Suzanne Gassner Weatherford,
Sausalito, CA.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

For another example of this type of anti-male law enforcement nonsense, see my blog post Father Locked in Jail for Tossing Granola Bars at Fiance, Fiance Can't Get Him Out.

Thanks to John Hamel, LCSW, of the National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center and Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children for the tip on this article. Both are working to reform California's domestic violence policies.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Called by some a "fathers' rights organization," Fathers & Families is made up of men and women who believe that fathers are an essential part of a child's life and that divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org  FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS? Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

Recently my daughter and I were watching her second favorite movie, The Sandlot 3. (Her favorite movie is The Sandlot 1). The movie is the story of arrogant baseball star Tommy "Santa" Santorelli who (warning: plot spoiler ahead) travels back in time to 1976 and relives his boyhood days on the sandlot baseball team. This time he chooses friendship over individual accomplishments, and ends up turning his life around, becoming a beloved baseball star instead of a hated one.

When Santorelli goes back to his childhood he is reunited with his mother, who died when he was about 12. The boy's bond with his mom is touching and sad, no question. However...Santorelli's father is not mentioned.

I don't mean that he's not there--we're used to that. Normally when they want to depict an absent father they'll depict him as dead or, more commonly, as having run off. (Just once I'd like to see a kid in a mainstream movie casually say, "Oh, my dad's not around--mom divorced him and used family court machinations to drive him out of my life when I was younger.") But here, unless my daughter, my wife and I all missed something, Santorelli's father is not referred to at all. A child not having a father has become so routine that the screenwriters don't even feel obligated to throw in a one sentence reference to dad and why he's not here.

This is an increasingly annoying feature of many modern movies--"John Tucker Must Die" and Toy Story" are a couple of other examples. It seems particularly offensive here because, dammit, this is a baseball movie. Dads, boys and baseball go together. So in honor of the father-son-baseball bond which The Sandlot 3 has besmirched, I've put together some details about the loving bonds many current and former major league baseball players shared with their dads. Some examples include:

Former New York Mets relief pitcher John Franco, one of the better closers in baseball during the 1980s and 1990s, always wore an orange NYC sanitation T-shirt under his baseball uniform, in honor of his father, a New York City sanitation worker.

Former New York Yankee right fielder Paul O'Neill published the book Me and My Dad: A Baseball Memoir after his playing career ended. O'Neill's father, Charles "Chick" O'Neill, was a paratrooper in World War II and pitched in the minor leagues. He died after Game 3 of the 1999 World Series. Paul O'Neill went to his father's funeral, then played in Game 4, helping the Yankees complete their sweep of the Atlanta Braves.

Former Kansas City Royals third baseman George Brett honored his father in his Hall of Fame induction speech.

Current Houston Astros star first baseman Lance Berkman recently told a reporter, "My dad is my hero...I think so much of him. He's just got tremendous moral values, and he's just a wonderful person and somebody who's very comforting to be around...He's someone I've learned through by example more than anything else, particularly with his honesty...He's not a man of many words. He's not very charming. He's not necessarily a guy that will walk up and take the floor and talk a bunch. But the way he lives is an example to a lot of people. He's a true gentleman. He's got a lot of people that look up to him and the way he carries himself. A lot of times actions speak louder than words, and he's a guy that certainly lives that out."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

"What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.

I've always been moved by abolitionist Frederick Douglass' speech "The Meaning of the 4th of July to the American Negro." I normally don't like analogies between slavery and the mistreatment of fathers in family court--they are often made by the lunatic fringe of the movement, and I think they tend to discredit our cause more than to help it. However...

When Douglass speaks of "the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim," well, he could be talking about any one of the multitudes of decent, loving fathers who have been driven out of the lives of the children who love them. These men must forfeit the most important thing in life--one's children.

When Douglass speaks of a "sham" and "unholy license," one cannot help but be reminded of the sham justice which fathers often receive in family court, and the "unholy license" with which courts intervene into, maintain control over, and sometimes destroy fathers' personal lives. Douglass' "empty and heartless" also applies.

When Douglass speaks of "liberty and equality" being "hollow mockery," one thinks of our family law system's ludicrous pretense of gender neutrality.

Douglass speaks of "crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages." Well, collaborating in the forcible separation of millions of loving fathers from their children would certainly qualify. "Revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy" also fits.

Douglass' is one of the greatest--if not the greatest--men in American history. I learned much about him as a child because my father was a devotee of his writings, and often told me Douglass' stories. Douglass' full July 4 speech can be found here.

For those unfamiliar with the problems fathers face in family court, the injustices described in my column "PBS Declares War on Dads" (World Net Daily & others, 10/20/05) will give you the basics.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Background: From time to time, I ponder why there is such a divide between the feminist movement and the men's and fathers' movement. I wish this divide didn't exist, or at least that it were smaller. Yet sometimes I read things which make me believe that the divide will never be breached. One example is Why We Don't See Eye to Eye (Part I). Another is below.

In the blog entry Progress continues on the march to legalize rape (6/18/07) on the feminist blog Reclusive Leftist, blogger "Violet Socks" discusses the aftermath of the Duke "rape" case. The blog-- www.reclusiveleftist.com --is a fairly prominent one, so I don't think I can be accused of picking obscure extremists to make a point. Reclusive Leftist writes:

"Top story today: Duke terrorists are now actually being rewarded with an undisclosed sum -- millions of dollars? Who the fuck knows? The message is clear: You can terrorize some woman all you want, call her a nigger and threaten to shove a broomstick up her and knock her around and probably rape her, and here's what you win:

"Adoring national media attention

"The fervid devotion of millions of moist-palmed dudes who totally sympathize with how unfair it is to get nailed just for terrorizing some stupid bitch

"The profound satisfaction of seeing the woman you terrorized dragged through the mud, publicly hounded, and even threatened with legal action for committing the GINORMOUS [gigantic and enormous] crime of actually reporting her assault.

"Millions of dollars in prize money from your university to make you feel better about the terrible ordeal you've been through.

"Any questions about why every single athletic team in this country now has carte blanche to rape and torture any woman they get their nasty goddamn hands on?

"Throw up, throw up, throw up."

The full post can be seen at Progress continues on the march to legalize rape. Sigh...

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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Boys and the Boy Crisis--Third National Men's Equality Congress, July 13-14 in Washington, DC

Boys and the Boy Crisis, the Third National Men's Equality Congress, will be held July 13-14 in Washington, DC. The speakers list is great--perhaps the best I've ever seen at a conference. Speakers include:

1) Matt O'Connor--leader of the English fathers' group Fathers 4 Justice. O'Connor has done more than anybody to raise awareness of the terrible social problem of children being separated from their fathers after divorce or separation.

2) Christina Hoff Sommers--author of the books The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men and Who Stole Feminism?. In The War Against Boys, Sommers asserts, "It's a bad time to be a boy in America," and takes a hard look at the boy crisis and the misguided policies which have helped create it. Who Stole Feminism? is a devastating expose of the way feminists have disseminated misinformation about men and gender issues via the media and academia, and helped poison our popular culture against men.

3) Warren Farrell--the intellectual wellspring of the men's movement, and the author of  Father & Child Reunion, the Myth of Male Power, and others. Farrell is also an expert on shared parenting--to watch Warren speak, click on Warren Farrell's Case for Shared Parenting (Video).

4) Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young, co-authors of Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture and Legalizing Misandry: From Public Shame to Systemic Discrimination Against Men.

5) Stephen Baskerville--president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children and author of the soon-to-be released book Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family.

6) Glenn Sacks--men's and fathers' issues columnist, commentator, talk show host and blogger.

To register for the conference, click here.

There will also be three 2+ hour pre-conference workshops, one conducted by Matt O'Connor, one by Warren Farrell, and one by Glenn Sacks. The workshops will start Friday morning and conclude prior to the conference opening that evening.

These workshops will allow the speakers to go into greater detail and allow participants to spend more time with our speakers. The pricing for early registrants will be $33 for each workshop. Attending these workshops is extra and separate from the conference. People can choose to go to none, one, two or all three.

To sign up for 'early bird' prices for these workshops and/or to register for the conference, click here.

The mover and shaker behind these conferences is Tom Golden, LCSW, a Washington, DC-area men's activist. Golden does an excellent job--both of the previous conferences he's held were well-attended and well-organized.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Klondike Pushes the 'Lazy Husband' Myth in TV Ad I've debunked the "lazy husband" myth numerous times--for one example, see my co-authored column Are American Husbands Slackers? (Tallahassee Democrat, 3/22/06). Klondike pushes the lazy husband myth in its "What Would You Doooooo for a Klondike Bar?" TV ad series. In this commercial, the man--gasp--actually puts a dirty glass in the dishwasher, and then enjoys a Klondike Bar. His wife stares in disbelief as he actually cleans up after himself. To watch the video, click here. To learn more about anti-male advertising, click here. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Thanks to reader Jim Evans for the tip. The Business of Love 50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years, single households now outnumber married households...if there ever was a time for a radical, new approach to marriage, it's NOW. The Business of Love, by Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development consultant and former marriage counselor, is the first book to show how to take the same "best practices" that build successful businesses and apply them to an intimate relationship. Learn more at www.TheBusinessofLove.org. Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men Author Tom Ellis unleashes his savage wit on women's studies, gender norming, implants, affirmative action, rape hysteria, pornography, women's spirituality, homophobia, and bad dates. Intended for male readers, women also find it shockingly insightful. Contains adult situations and language. The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything by Thomas Ellis -- $11.95 + shipping from Amazon via direct purchase--click here. Using False Domestic Violence Claims as Custody Maneuvers--'She called 911 and smiled at me like a cat who had just caught the largest mouse...' Recently several hundred of you wrote to the California Judicial Council's Domestic Violence Practice and Procedures Task Force expressing concern over their recent report "Draft Guidelines and Recommended Practices for Improving the Administration of Justice in Domestic Violence Cases." In my original call to action I noted: "The [report's] recommendations focus on court leadership, restraining orders, criminal law procedures, and other issues. "There's a big problem with the Draft Guidelines--they don't deal with the false allegations issue. Thousands of men reading this right now have had restraining orders based on false allegations of domestic violence made against them as part of a custody battle. "Beyond victimizing many innocent men and the children who love and need them, false allegations also draw resources and credibility away from women who really are victims of domestic violence, and who need protection. "Also, the Draft Guidelines do not address the issue of male victims of domestic violence, even though research establishes that women are just as likely to physically attack their male partners as vice versa, and a substantial minority of domestic violence-related injuries are sustained by male victims." John Hamel, LCSW, of the National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center, Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children (who suggested our recent call to action), Marc Angelucci, Esq., myself, and many others are working to try to reform California's (and other states') flawed and deeply discriminatory domestic violence laws and practices. To learn more about the problems with current domestic violence policies, click here. I am reprinting, with permission, some of the more notable letters which my readers have sent the Domestic Violence Task Force. One of the letters, which details how a woman used the system against her husbands by making false claims, appears below: "In 1993, I was falsely accused of domestic violence. A week before the accusations, my former wife actually told me she would get me removed from our home. I had no idea how, but I wasn't about to leave my daughter and stepdaughter alone with her. A week later, I watched as she called 911 and smiled at me like a cat who had just caught the largest mouse. The accusations were used to remove me from my home, and for my spouse to get the edge in our custody fight over our 2 year old daughter. Although I had done nothing, I was treated like a common criminal. "The charges were later dropped, but the damage had been done...to my reputation, to my finances, and to my outlook on the criminal justice system. I was husband #2 to my former wife, and it was no surprise to me to find out that she had done the same exact thing to husband #1. The pattern: have a baby, make up false charges of domestic violence, get the husband removed from the home, play the "victim", win custody and go for as much of his money and possessions possible. "Just a few months ago, I got an early-morning phone call from a man who was crying. It was husband #5. Yes, #5. Guess what?..." To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

Background: Since lately we've been talking a lot about anti-male advertising during and after our Campaign Against Anti-Male Advertising, I was recently reminded of a positive series of ads by the National Fatherhood Initiative. The NFI does good work on promoting the importance of fathers and fatherhood, but errs in ignoring the role that family courts and mothers play in creating fatherlessness, instead placing all blame for fatherlessness on men.

Some of you may recall that a few years ago I criticized a father-bashing ad campaign conducted by the NFI in my column National Fatherhood Initiative's Ad Campaign Insults African-American Fathers (Pasadena Star-News & others, 6/14/03). To hear NFI president Roland Warren defend the campaign on His Side with Glenn Sacks, click here.

I stand by my criticisms of the NFI. However, I also believe in giving credit where credit is due. Presumably paying no attention to me, the NFI came out with some ads which portrayed fathers--particularly African-American fathers--very positively.

In one of the NFI's radio PSAs--"Daddy Issues"--a group of teenagers complain about their dads--their dads enforce discipline, have standards, and watch what their kids are doing. The ad promotes the underappreciated qualities of the traditional dad.

In the ad, a boy complains:

"He would come home after a hard day and just start in on me. You know, like, 'Hey, how was your day, how was school, what you got going on.' I mean it gave me the chills."

A girl criticizes her father, saying:

"The time I got this wicked cool scorpion tattoo on my shoulder, not even the whole arm, just the shoulder, and he grounded me for two weeks. Two weeks!"

After several such vignettes, Actor Tom Selleck closes, saying "Embarrass them. Horrify them. Freak them out. Don't worry, they'll appreciate it ... eventually."

To listen, click here.

In a column a couple years ago, I explained:

"It is certainly true that the old, tough dad had his drawbacks, just as all parents--including mothers--do. The best parent is one who mixes affection and discipline, who loves and is lovable but at the same time is respected and, when necessary, feared. But not all parents can do all these things, and while we might have wished that the old dad were more sensitive, he was very important, and his virtues much underappreciated.

"As a former high school teacher I can assure you that what we need is more, not less, of the old dad--particularly in the inner cities. The dad who's not afraid to be the bad guy. The dad who's not afraid to take strong measures to help and protect his children. The dad who tells his son 'if you shoplift you'd better hope the police get you before I do.' A father like my friend's dad, a South Central Los Angeles cop who kept a tight curfew and a belt on the wall and who, before he died at an early age, claimed as his greatest achievement the fact that all four of his daughters got through college without having a baby."

I also enjoyed the NFI TV PSA "Dance." It reminds me of the way my daughter and I sometimes dance together, though the father in the ad is far more graceful and limber than I. To watch, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The Onion's piece New Mommy A Lot Prettier (2/16/00), though obviously satirical, nevertheless reflects how much of society views divorced dads and second wives. Dad, who never gave a damn about his children, left his hardworking wife for his hot young secretary. Now dad lives off the fat of the land while his ex raises the kids, works two jobs, and barely scrapes by.

New Mommy A Lot Prettier
The Onion (2/16/00)

BUTLER, PA--New mommy Alison Leuchter is "a lot prettier," Courtney and Brady Leuchter announced Monday, moments after old mommy Joan Leuchter ordered them to put away the Nintendo and do their homework.

"Our new mommy at Daddy's house is so pretty. She has long hair and wears pretty dresses, and she has a tan even when it's snowing out," 9-year-old Brady Leuchter said of his father's former secretary and new wife. "She's so pretty, she could be on TV."

"And our new mommy never makes us turn off the Nintendo," Brady added. "She lets us play all day Saturday, as long as we keep the door shut." Courtney, 8, had similarly positive things to say about her new mommy.

"Our mommy-mommy is always crying. But our Alison-mommy smiles so much. She giggles whenever Daddy says anything," Courtney said. "And she has lots of pretty gold bracelets and necklaces. Plus, she lets me put on her lipstick, even though my old mommy says I can't wear makeup until I'm older."

Alison, a 28-year-old nursing student at Butler Community College, married John Leuchter, 36, on Jan. 3, three months to the day after his divorce from Joan, also 36, was finalized. The children now live with their mother in a cramped two-bedroom apartment and spend weekends with their father in their spacious former home.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The new Sacramento Bee article Bill seeks to save pets from abuse in disputes focuses mostly on the critical problem of domestic violence against hamsters and goldfish. (There's no mention of DV against men, nor of the way the state of California refuses to help male victims.)

The bill is SB 353--to learn more about it, see my co-authored column CA Legislators Vote to Protect Pets from Domestic Violence but Deny Services to Male DV Victims (Long Beach Press-Telegram, 4/21/07).

The most interesting part of the article deals with false accusations. Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children brings up the issue of false claims of domestic violence in family law disputes. The Bee writes:

"Supporters of SB 353 counter that litigants could not easily manipulate the process because both sides could argue their case before a judge, who would issue a protective order only if persuaded that a true danger exists.

"Kuehl dismissed the notion of fraudulent or exaggerated complaints.

"'We heard the same thing about women's testimony about their own abuse: What if they lie about it? What if they exaggerate it?' she said. 'Believe me, if anything, it's understated.'"

Restraining orders are handed out like candy--I don't have much confidence that a judge would only issue one if he's "persuaded that a true danger exists" (To learn more about the abuse of restraining orders, see my co-authored column Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining Orders, Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06).

Bill seeks to save pets from abuse in disputes
Sacramento Bee, 6/25/07
By Jim Sanders

Man biting dog?

To keep that from happening, pets soon may be eligible for restraining orders to keep a human away.

Proposed California legislation is targeting a twisted form of domestic violence in which abusers attack loved ones by hurting or killing their pets.

Senate Bill 353, which appears headed for passage, states that "perpetrators often abuse animals in order to intimidate, harass or silence their human victims."

The bill would allow judges to include pets in protective orders they issue, thus granting temporary custody or ordering abusers to keep their distance.

"Victims of domestic violence have delayed leaving their homes, delayed seeking safety, because their abuser said, 'You take one step out of the house and I'll kill your dog,' " said Sen. Sheila Kuehl, D-Santa Monica, who crafted the bill.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

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