The American
Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use
custody calendar software program designed
for divorced families to track visitation
schedules. Includes a built-in percentage
calculator, schedule templates, free
training and excellent customer assistance.
Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and
mediators can generate equitable parenting
plans, which is especially useful for
parents seeking fair division of their
children's time. FREE TRIAL SOFTWARE
AVAILABLE by clicking
here.
|
High Profile Cases Cited by Critics of PAS
Are Often Not What They're Claimed
In the column we wrote:
"Courts lean heavily towards mothers as custodial
parents, and are hesitant to undo existing custody
arrangements. Even in the high-profile cases
publicized by critics of PAS, the courts usually
had good reason to transfer custody from the
mothers to the fathers.
"In one case highlighted by PBS in Breaking
the Silence: Children's Stories, their 2005
documentary on PAS, the filmmakers claimed that
the mother had unjustly lost custody of her
daughter to her ex-husband. Yet it was subsequently
revealed that a California Juvenile Court had
found the mother culpable of multiple acts of
child abuse and the court transferred custody
to the father to protect the girl.
"The two most famous PAS cases of recent times
are the Bridget Marks and Amy Neustein cases.
In both instances mothers lost custody of their
daughters after making false allegations of
sexual abuse. Marks garnered widespread media
sympathy from Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Phil, Larry
King and others, yet all five judges ruling
on the case concluded that Marks had coached
her girls to believe they had been sexually
molested by their father.
"Neustein's now adult daughter, Sherry Orbach,
publicly refuted her mother's claims last year,
writing that when she was a child her mother
'would begin by telling me a sordid--and false--story
about my father...She then instructed me to
repeat the story word for word until she was
satisfied with my rendition.' According to Orbach:
"'My father never sexually
abused me...I...owe my existence as a normal
young adult to the family judges...who helped
me reunite with my father in the face of considerable
opposition in the media.'"
The PBS case we referred to is the
Sadia Loeliger case, a bombshell we exposed
and detailed during our
Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking
the Silence.
To learn more,
go to
PBS Portrays Known Child Abuser as Hero: Juvenile
Court Found Mother Culpable of Multiple Acts
of Child Abuse.
How Parental Alienation Hurts Kids
In the column we quoted
family law mediators J. Michael Bone, Ph.D.
and Michael R. Walsh on what it is like for
children caught in PAS situations. According
to Bone and Walsh, these children "live in a
state of chronic upset and threat of reprisal"
and fear abandonment. They note that when
children "express positive approval of the absent
parent, the consequences can be very serious...The
child is continually being put through various
loyalty tests...the alienating parent thus forces
the child to choose [between] parents...in direct
opposition to a child's emotional well being."
Bone is the director of
Tree House Solutions, a resource designed
to meet the emotional and informational needs
of parents who are going through divorce and
those already divorced. He can be reached at
MichaelBone@TreeHouseSolutions.org.
Sharing a Gallows with Wendy McElroy
Apparently some men's rights/fathers' rights
"radicals" want to arrange a necktie party for
Wendy McElroy and I over our views of the Darren
Mack situation. Few in this movement are the
target of more incessant stupid criticism from
these "radicals" than McElroy, and I'd be happy
to stand on a gallows with her any time. (And
as I've mentioned before, the word "radical"
is a misnomer, since most of this "radicalism"
is confined to internet bluster, as opposed
to the admirable civil disobedience committed
by English and Canadian fathers' activists).
I'm being criticized for my statements on
Mack
here and
here, and McElroy is being attacked for
her new FOX News column
Fathers Rights Movement Must Condemn Darren
Mack (6/27/06). In the column she writes:
"When a bullet ripped through Nevada Judge
Chuck Weller on June 12th, the public debate
surrounding the family court system shifted.
"Reno businessman Darren Mack is suspected of
shooting the judge whom he blames for the 'unjust'
conditions of his divorce. He is also charged
with slashing his estranged wife Charla to death.
"Through years of effort, father's rights activists
had pried open the lid of debate on whether
family courts are biased against men. Mack may
well have slammed it shut again.
"If he is guilty of either crime, then Mack
is the walking stereotype of an abusive man
from whom society and children need to be protected...
"Mack no more represents alienated fathers than
Andrea Yates who murdered her five children
represents American motherhood. But, judging
from his past behavior, Mack will present himself
as a rallying point for fathers who have been
estranged by family court judges...
"If Mack and his supporters convince the public
that he represents oppressed dads, then the
father's rights movement may be damaged beyond
repair...
"To retain any credibility, father's rights
advocates must distance themselves from Mack
at breakneck speed and they must do so definitively.
"The veteran advocate Glenn Sacks has stated,
'I condemn without qualification the crimes
allegedly committed by Darren Mack.'
"Sacks acknowledges that 'some on the not insubstantial
lunatic fringe of the fathers' rights movement
see Mack as some sort of freedom fighter...';
he utterly rejects that interpretation.
"He writes, 'Mack is not a good man trapped
in a bad system. He is a bad guy. Because of
men like him the system had to create protections
for women, and unscrupulous women have misused
those protections to victimize countless innocent
men. Men like Mack aren't the byproducts of
the system's problems--they are the problem.'
"I hope the father's rights movement en masse
adopt Sacks' hard line -- not the soft line
of 'I don't condone his actions BUT I understand
them.'
"There is no BUT about Charla's murder. A strategically-placed
BUT only insulates the speaker from blame while
he proceeds to excuse the inexcusable. It lets
the listener know that the speaker is condoning
the action on some level.
"Nothing condones the murder of Charla Mack."
I would add, and I'm sure Wendy agrees, that
nothing condones the premeditated attempt to
murder Judge Weller either.
Finally What Child Support Payers
Need
Child Support obligors face
a stacked deck when squaring
off against CS Enforcement's
army of lawyers and agents,
all pitted against some beleaguered
father who's working 50 hours
a week to pay his child support
and support his family. The
burden of proving compliance
with court-ordered support falls
on the obligor, not the custodial
parent or the enforcement agencies.
Very often fathers are forced
to pay money they don't really
owe, or are saddled with fake
arrearages and the concomitant
interest and penalties.
Since the state provides
a ton of free assistance to
custodial parents, fathers need
quality, affordable representation
for these battles.
Child Support Liberation's Child
Support Audits and Record Management
Program helps obligors challenge
arrears by producing professional,
top-quality self-audits which
include all the necessary records
in the proper form.
CSARMP then conducts quarterly
audits that will alert obligors
to overcharges. In addition,
they will maintain ongoing records
of obligations, payments and
interest.
CSARMP costs only $13 a
month ($38 for the first month
only) and can be cancelled with
only 30 days notice. To
learn more or to sign up, click
here and
here. If you have any questions,
write to Michael Kennedy of
Child Support Liberation
by clicking
here.
|
|
McElroy and Sacks--'Scared Chickens'?
To give one a sense of the opposition, let's
consider the words of Men's Rights bloggers
Rick Bansha and Angry Harry.
Bansha writes:
"Darren Mack, despite what the pundits i.e.
Glenn Sacks, say is a true martyr for the cause.
He gave all, his very life ultimately, to draw
attention to injustice. Some say he went too
far. Others say what he did was terrorism. Still
others say he is a hate blinded criminal. These
people are all MRAs mind you, not feminists
screaming for more blood...
"He killed his parasite and tried to kill his
tormentor. He didn't have to do that to try
to retain his wealth. He could have just taken
a powder. He did it to call attention to injustice.
That begs the question, why didn't he use a
legitimate form of protest? He did. It took
one killed and another wounded to get noticed.
If he had not done what he did, we would never
have heard of Darren Mack. His message would
be lost.
"In my book, Darren Mack committed no crime.
His actions qualify as a legitimate defense
of honor. Instead of resolving matters like
men, pistols at dawn, Weller and his ilk use
proxies to do their fighting. Like Paris cowering
behind big brother Hector, Weller would never
face Mack mangina to man. If Weller can use
the pigs, then Mack can use a rifle and scope.
Even Steven. I consider the matter honorably
settled."
Angry Harry posits that Mack may have been a
victim of what he calls "Battered Fathers Syndrome."
In posts
here and
here he writes:
"'The problem' was caused less by aggressive
men like Darren Mack, and caused more by the
failings of timid men like Glenn Sacks...[McElroy
and Sacks] run away like scared chickens and
wash their hands of Darren Mack, they actually
condemn him outright without even knowing what
happened and why...
"McElroy and Sacks are simply desperate to
distance themselves from Darren Mack - for obvious
reasons - but, in my view, they should be more
honest with themselves and with their readers.
These two authors are forever pointing out that
fathers are being cheated by the family courts,
and for them to pretend that their publicly-expressed
sentiments will not add fuel to the anger that
so many men already feel - quite justifiably
so, in my opinion - seems cowardly and disingenuous."
Certainly there are many men who are angry about
the court system, and they often have good reason
to be. And I understand that there are basically
decent men who, placed in a terrible position,
might explode in a moment of anger. If Mack
had, for example, tried to slug Weller during
a hearing and was restrained and dragged away
by bailiffs, I could still at least consider
the possibility that this might be a decent
man driven too far.
(When I was a kid my dad coached my baseball
team and he had to go bail one of our assistant
coaches out of jail because he had gotten in
a physical altercation with a judge. I still
thought he was basically a decent guy. It wasn't
a family court matter, by the way).
Mack, however, is different. Mack stabbed
and murdered his daughter's mother while his
little daughter was upstairs. He planned and
carried out a murder attempt on a judge. Given
the explosives and other weapons found in his
house, he may have planned much worse. Sorry,
but I can't accept that this was a decent man
driven too far, because decent men don't do
things like that.
Not My Readers...
There have been some apologists
for Mack posting on various men's and fathers'
chatrooms. However, I've seen very little support
for Mack (and a lot of condemnation of Mack)
from my readers. The Sackson Horde ain't stupid...
|
New Jersey Divorce and Family
Law
New Jersey family law attorney
David Perry Davis, Esq. can
help you through your divorce.
In Pasqua v. Council
(2006) Davis successfully challenged
New Jersey's unconstitutional
practice of failing to appoint
attorneys for indigent child
support obligors at enforcement
hearings where they face incarceration.
As a result of this suit,
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what
women in blended families are
looking for: Remarriage, divorce,
child custody, and step parenting
discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way;
articles and news written by
thought-provoking experts and
journalists; personal accounts
and advice from some of life's
most interesting women.
www.SecondWivesClub.com
Improve Your Health & Fitness
Through Herbalife
Improve your nutritional well-being
through
Herbalife quality herbal
nutrition products. Have more
energy, lose weight and enjoy
a healthier lifestyle through
our all-natural products. Browse
through Herbalife's catalog
of health products
here.
|
|
Clara Harris and Darren Mack
Mack's defenders remind me of those who defended
Clara Harris, the Houston woman who repeatedly
ran over her husband with her Mercedes, killing
him. Just as some are defending Mack as a good
father who "snapped," many defended Harris,
saying she was a good, loyal wife who exploded
over her husband's affair and deserved sympathy.
I don't buy it. I discussed this on the
His Side with Glenn Sacks show
Oprah Whitewashes Clara Harris' 'Murder by Mercedes'
(5/1/05) after Oprah played clips of me on her
special about Clara Harris. I said:
"Why are we accepting the idea that Clara
was this perfect angel and that David was a
bad guy for wanting to leave her and that she
was just this wonderful wife until one day she
snapped. How gullible are you? Doncha
think that any person capable of slaughtering
a man as the man's daughter begged her not to
kill her father might not have been the perfect
wife? That maybe David Harris had damn good
reason for wanting to get away from her?
To listen to the full audio of that show,
click
here. I've also discussed the Clara Harris
case in my columns "Convicted
Murderess Can Get Custody but Decent Fathers
Can't" (Houston Chronicle, 9/19/03)
and "In
Defense of David Harris" (LewRockwell.com,
3/4/03), as well as the
His Side show
CBS' 'Suburban Madness': It's OK to Kill Your
Husband (10/10/04).
|
|
Accurate Paternity Testing
There are many important reasons why
people choose to have a paternity test
done. A child is entitled to the
sense of belonging and identity that
comes from knowing his/her parents.
An alleged father also has the right
to know if a child is biologically his.
Paternity fraud in the United States
is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence,
affecting perhaps millions of men. Now
you can get the accurate, fast and affordable
answers to your paternity questions.
Visit
www.accuratepaternity.com or call
877-434-0292 to talk to a DNA testing
expert or to order a confidential test
today.
Be the Man You Want to Be
Mentor4Men.com will give you the tools
to be the man you want to be at home,
at work and in all areas of your life.
You can do this work on the phone, in
private, and with a guarantee of full
confidentiality. Visit
www.Mentor4Men.com to schedule
your FREE initial coaching session.
|
|
Feminists Get a Bad Rap on Clara Harris case
Men's activists often claim that it was "feminists"
who defended Clara Harris. This is false--support for
Harris was broad-based, and also included many conservatives
and Christian conservatives. As I explained in
In Defense of David Harris:
"A murder trial recently concluded in
Texas wherein a woman who killed her husband was defended
by the husband's own mother, brother and father, who
explained that, aside from what might be described as
some unpleasantness on a bad day, the woman is really
a good, law-abiding person.
"The press on both the left and the
right has poured derision upon the murder victim, referring
to David Harris as a 'creep,' a 'rat,' a 'a lying, cheating
scumbag' and Clara Harris' 'unfaithful dog of a husband.'
Feminist Susan Estrich asked 'Who could blame [Clara]
for getting into her Mercedes and running him over?'
and seemed a little sad that the jury did. She fantasized
a Cochranesque defense for her, noting:
"'Every day across America, women crowd
into the offices of plastic surgeons and beauticians
and aestheticians, spending money we don't have on painful
procedures we don't really need, trying to hang on to
men who don't deserve us...with their votes, the Harris
jury could have sent a shot across the bow to all those
cheating men. If you cheat on your wife, she can kill
you and get away with it. If he deserved to get hit,
you must acquit.'
"Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive
officer of WorldNetDaily, penned a column entitled
'Free Clara Harris!' in which he wrote 'I'd give her
a medal....she did the right thing. That creep deserved
what he got' and urged readers to 'live like her.' John
Kasich, guest host on The O'Reilly Factor, also
expressed sympathy for Clara who, he claimed, had been
'mentally tortured' by her husband.
"On the radio and the Internet many
observers expressed similar sentiments, such as: 'If
at first you don't succeed, run over him again'; 'I
feel much compassion for Clara but absolutely none for
her husband the victim...[he's] not worth killing';
and, of course, 'You play, you pay.'
"Even the prosecutor, Mia Magness, apparently
quibbles with the killer only over her choice of methods,
expressing a preference that, instead of killing David
by her own hand, she should have driven him to suicide
by divorcing him and '[doing] like every other woman...get
his house, car, kids -- make him wish he were dead.'
"In Shakespeare's tragedy King Lear,
Lear is abandoned by his family with the exception of
one loyal daughter, Cordelia. In the Texas tragedy David
Harris has been abandoned by his family except for his
loyal daughter Lindsey, who loved her father and begged
her stepmother not to kill him. The murder of her father
and the betrayals of her grandmother, grandfather and
uncle have exacted a high toll on her, driving her to
four suicide attempts in the past six months.
"What did David Harris do to deserve
this cruel fate? He had an affair. As Shakespeare's
Marc Antony said of the fallen Caesar's 'ambition,'
David's infidelity was 'a grievous fault--and grievously
hath he answered it.'"
California Feminist Leader Slams Glenn
Nancy K.D. Lemon, a board member of the
California Partnership
to End Domestic Violence,
slammed me in the Sacramento News & Review
last week, saying that I "dragged out ancient myths
about spousal rape" in opposing SB 1402, a spousal rape
bill. Lemon has drafted and testified on behalf of many
California domestic violence statutes.
I had criticized SB 1402 in my co-authored column
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men
(Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06) because it
would make it easier for spurious spousal rape allegations
to be used against fathers during custody battles. Current
California law already provides adequate protections
for victims of spousal rape.
As I previously noted, SB 1402's supporters are garnering
support for the bill in part by playing on the false
idea that the American "patriarchy" condones spousal
rape because a wife is considered to be her husband's
property. Lemon's letter is a good example--there are
no "ancient myths" or patriarchal baggage in our column,
only legitimate concern over false rape allegations.
Lemon says that under current law "there are unfair
constraints on the victims of spousal rape. Unlike other
rape victims, they must report the rape within a year
or come up with other corroboration, a burden many victims
cannot meet. Marital rape is often brutal. Spousal-rape
victims are often victims of years of beatings and brainwashing."
Such cases are rare, but Lemon is certainly correct
that there are women brutalized in this way, and they
deserve protection. In the column family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"Victims of spousal rape deserve protection, and
current California law provides it. In order for the
state to prosecute a spousal rape charge, the accuser
need only to have mentioned the violation within a year
of its occurrence to any of a wide variety of medical,
law enforcement, clerical, legal or psychological personnel,
or there must be corroborating, independent, court admissible
evidence.
"SB 1402, sponsored by Senator Sheila Kuehl (D-Los Angeles),
eliminates the distinction between spousal rape and
other rapes, thus allowing for spousal rape prosecutions
six years later, even if there was no mention or independent
evidence of the crime in previous years."
Read Lemon's full letter at
SB 1402 is a good change.
|
Expose False Allegations with Technology
Don't let the anti-male bias in criminal
law victimize you. If you could
be falsely accused by an angry woman,
be prepared! Use technology to
expose the real aggressor.
DontMakeHerMad.com
Save Money and Get Better Gas Mileage
Do you want to save money and get better
gas mileage? Get more performance from
your vehicle? Make your engine last
longer?
MPG-CAPS™ is a 100% organic engine
conditioner that simultaneously improves
fuel economy and power by creating a
micro-thin coating on the combustion
chamber in your engine allowing your
fuel to burn more efficiently.
MPG-CAPS™ are perfect for gasoline,
diesel, biodiesel and gasoline-ethanol
powered engines. To learn more,
click
here or contact FFI Independent
Representative Ted Wacholtz
here. FFI products come with a 100%
money back guarantee.
|
|
It's a Man's World
Another critical letter to the Sacramento News
& Review cast doubts on the case of William Hetherington,
which we said provided "an example of how spousal rape
accusations can be used strategically." Maya Beneli,
a feminist true believer, wrote:
"It is difficult to believe that a 1980s family court
would convict a man for rape under questionable evidence.
They mention that, despite 'evidence that some believe
casts doubt on the conviction,' the accused remains
in jail...Further, it is inappropriate and irresponsible
to allude to this convicted rapist as a 'good father.'"
Hetherington was convicted by a criminal court, not
a family court. In the column we wrote:
"Hetherington was convicted and incarcerated in the
middle of contentious divorce proceedings in which he
was likely to win custody of his children because his
wife had abandoned the family and moved out of state.
"As Hetherington fought the spousal rape charge the
family law court froze his assets (as is common in divorce
cases), leaving him unable to afford a lawyer. However,
the criminal court refused to provide him legal representation
as an indigent, since he was employed in the automobile
industry.
"After being convicted Hetherington was unable to raise
funds for an appeal, since his ex-wife won his home
and all his assets (as well as custody of his three
children). Substantial evidence, including photos taken
at the crime scene and obtained through a public records
act a decade later, cast grave doubts upon the spousal
rape claim.
"The accused needn't be convicted to suffer egregious
harm. The cost of criminal defense is often ruinous,
and the emotional toll can be worse."
Beneli is correct that in general it is "inappropriate
and irresponsible" to refer to a convicted rapist as
a "good father." However, if there are significant doubts
about the convicted man's guilt--as there is in this
case--the rules change. Also, we never made any judgment
on whether Hetherington was a good father or not.
Beneli asserts that "If his guilt were truly questionable,
the man (in what is still a man's world) could secure
a new trial." Lady, you must be kidding...
Read Beneli's full letter at
It's a Man's World.
California Legislators Being Misled on Spousal Rape
Bill
SB 1402 was recently signed into
law by Governor Schwarzenegger. The bill's supporters
garnered support for the bill in part by playing on
the false idea that the American "patriarchy" condones
spousal rape because a wife is considered to be her
husband's property. It's an excellent example of a common
process used by feminists over the past three decades--pretend
that a bill is designed to remedy a patriarchal injustice
when the bill actually does something entirely different.
A related example might be the
way a woman's sexual history is often banned as evidence
as part of rape shield laws. Those laws have been pushed
and passed in part because feminists (rightfully) sought
to exterminate the idea that raping a woman is OK, or
not as bad, if it's a woman who is very loose sexually.
The collateral damage is that in
some cases, such as the Kobe Bryant case, the woman's
other recent sexual activity is very relevant, not because
it implies that she is to blame for being assaulted,
but because it speaks to the guilt or innocence of the
defendant. If a woman has vaginal injuries which she
claims are the result of a rape, the fact that she had
sex with other men shortly before and/or after the alleged
rape undermines the rape claim. The injuries could have
been caused by the sex with other men, and it's unlikely
that a woman who has just been injured in a rape probably
would have sex with other men shortly afterwards.
It also speaks to the credibility
of the defendant's story. In the Kobe Bryant case the
alleged rape victim had sex with Bryant soon after meeting
him. Bryant says the sex was consensual, his accuser
says it was rape. The accuser's propensity for sexual
liaisons with strangers supports Bryant's contention
that the sex was consensual, and is relevant to the
case.
In a debate with two leaders of
the National Organization for Women in the San Francisco
Chronicle two years ago I wrote:
"A Colorado judge issued a highly
controversial decision late last month on a matter that
should not be controversial. Judge Terry Ruckriegle
ruled that Kobe Bryant, who is facing four years to
life in prison for an alleged rape he claims was consensual
sex, can introduce evidence that his accuser had other
sexual encounters in the 72 hours before her medical
examination for the alleged assault.
"Various reports in the press have labeled the decision
a 'bombshell for prosecutors' that 'threatens all women';
Ruckriegle has been likened by the New York Daily
News to a man who has 'tiptoed into a minefield.'
"This is not the old-fashioned 'tar the victim' defense,
however. Bryant's defense team believes that the microscopic
vaginal injuries the prosecution claims were suffered
in the alleged assault were instead the product of various
consensual sexual encounters.
"Ruckriegle's decision followed another controversial
ruling granting a defense motion that Bryant's accuser
not be referred to as 'the victim' in court. This motion
was contested by both the prosecution and by victims'
rights organizations, which filed amicus briefs and
complained that Ruckriegle's decision created an anti-woman
double-standard.
"That these decisions have drawn controversy demonstrates
how rape-shield laws have stacked cases against accused
men. They also reflect the success of victim advocates
in minimizing and concealing a real and damaging problem:
Many accusations of rape are false...
"The Bryant case represents a turning point in the
history of rape trials, as the judiciary, the public
and the media have finally begun to pay proper attention
to the real danger of innocent men being convicted of
rape."
My column
Kobe Bryant Ruling a Step Towards Equity in Rape Trials
appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle on August
1, 2004 as a point/counterpoint. The counterpoint, written
by Terry O'Neill and Melanie Stafford of the National
Organization for Women, is
Survivors must not be twice victimized. After the
column came out many people asked me my opinion as to
whether Bryant was innocent or guilty. At the time I
wrote:
"I have no position
as to Bryant's innocence or guilt. As I mentioned in
the article, the case against him appears marginal.
Also, I'm suspicious of an accuser who is mentally unstable--she
was hospitalized for a suicide attempt two months before
the alleged rape.
"And, as I discuss
in the article, false accusations of rape are common.
Still, the feminists are correct that there are some
powerful and/or famous men who don't know the meaning
of the word 'no.' A talented and pampered athlete such
as Bryant might fit the description.
"I do deeply oppose
any harassment of the alleged victim. See
Sacks Blasts Those Harassing Kobe's Accuser
(IFeminists, 7/29/03)."
Two years later, those
sentiments still seem valid to me.
Michigan Legislator Who Was Denied Her Father Supports
Shared Parenting
In
this article Michigan state Rep. Leslie Mortimer
discusses HB 5267, the Michigan Shared Parenting Bill:
"A bill sponsored by one of Lenawee County's state
representatives to change the way child custody cases
are handled is still in committee, but its author says
it has the votes to pass.
"The bill, which is supported by fathers' rights advocates
but opposed by the National Organization for Women and
the state bar association, would mandate joint custody
of children except in certain instances...
"Last fall, Rep. Leslie Mortimer, R-Horton, introduced
House Bill 5267, which says, 'The court shall order
joint custody unless, by clear and convincing evidence
a parent is (proven to be) unfit, unwilling, or unable
to care for the child.' The joint custody measure was
sent Oct. 6 to the committee on Family and Children's
Services. She said the issue is expected to be voted
out of committee this fall.
"'We've got the votes. Right now, though they are waiting
for a marriage package to go through, which contains
a parenting plan,' Mortimer said...
"She said she has found support for the bill both in
the committee and on the House floor. Mortimer said
it is important, when couples split and children are
involved, to start off on even ground.
"'Shared parenting is the way to go,' Mortimer said.
'Research shows children do better socially, academically
and have better life outcomes. Divorce is devastating
enough, but to lose one parent over another makes it
even worse (for a child).'
"Mortimer said the proposed legislation was drawn from
her own experience as a child of divorce.
"'My parents divorced when I was 5 and I only got to
see my father every other weekend - Sundays, really,'
she said...
"Mortimer noted that in custody cases in 2002, 64
percent resulted in mothers being awarded physical custody;
10 percent of the time, physical custody was awarded
to the father; with some form of joint custody 23 percent
of the time."
To learn more about the Michigan shared parenting
bill, see my co-authored column
HB 5267 Will Help Michigan's Children of Divorce
(Lansing State Journal, 5/28/06). In the column
Mike McCormick, the Executive Director of the American
Coalition for Fathers and Children, and I discuss the
research showing how shared parenting benefits kids,
and examine the opposition's arguments against shared
parenting.
Dad's Time Tracker - Get More Time With Your
Children and Manage Your Child Support
Dad's Time Tracker helps divorced fathers
collect the information necessary to get more
parenting time, lower their child support, or
gain custody of their children by creating a
child support payment record and thorough tracking
of expenses. This tool makes co-parenting easier
because key "friction" areas--expenses, medical
issues, contacts, day care information, parenting
time--are addressed in advance.
www.dadstimetracker.com
Father: A Child's Right
Visit
www.fatherachildsright.org to find information
about child custody issues related to fathers
and their children's rights, as well as book
reviews on parenting, custody and divorce. A
fun and exciting
father & son baseball component is added
for enjoyment. Buy books, magazines and DVDs
for your children. Learn about the
Michigan Shared Parenting bill.
www.fatherachildsright.org
Time
for Family Fun Without the Burning Sun
Have hours of the outdoors with our children's
fun but functional sun protection. Don't let
sunburn, heat or insects get in the way of lifelong
memories! Save 10% off your order with the coupon
code SACKS.
www.babysunprotection.com
|
Fathers' Activists Disrupt Wimbledon
I love it. According to
Fathers' rights campaigners try to play tennis with
Federer:
"Two fathers' rights campaigners were arrested at Wimbledon
today after attempting to play tennis alongside Swiss
ace Roger Federer."The men, both wearing T-Shirts
with a version of the Wimbledon logo with Family Law
It's a Racket emblazoned across it, came onto Centre
Court during the defending champion's match against
Mario Ancic of Croatia.
"One served a tennis ball towards the Royal Box while
the other stood on the opposite side of the net before
security men rushed onto court and ushered them off
shortly after 3pm.
"The men - Simon Wright, 30, from Brighton, and Alan
Jamieson, 41, from Manchester - said they were both
members of Real Fathers 4 Justice, a breakaway group
from Fathers 4 Justice.
"Before being led away, Wright said: 'There have
been 20 family law court cases and still I don't get
to see my child and this is what I have had to resort
to.'
"Jamieson said: 'I don't get to see my children.'
A police spokesman confirmed the men had been arrested.
"Two persons tried to disrupt play and they were
swiftly arrested," he said.
"This is the second incident in just two days.
"Yesterday, 29-year-old streaker Sander Lantinga
from Berkhout, Noord-Holland, in the Netherlands, received
a caution after stripping off on Centre Court and doing
a cartwheel close to Russian star Maria Sharapova.
"A spokesman from the All England Club said more
permanent security measures could be put into place
if similar antics continued.
"'It will be a shame if the antics of a few selfish
idiots were to ruin it for everyone else in the future
and that it meant we may have to put more permanent
measures in place to prevent people gaining access to
the court,' she said. 'Clearly, we hope this will not
be the case.'"
I wonder--if this lady had had her children taken
away from her without cause, would she still see
the protesting fathers as "selfish idiots"?
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads
in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa
Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free
weekly co-parenting classes, individual
mentoring for fathers and much more.
www.divorcedfathers.com
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is
a growing and evolving resource designed
to meet the emotional and informational
needs of parents who are going through
divorce and those already divorced.
Tree House activities are composed of
live, real time teleconferences on a
weekly basis. These sessions are conducted
by two highly experienced mental health
practitioners, versed in high conflict
divorce. Drs. Bone and Evans offer a
wide spectrum of suggestions and education
regarding the divorce process and co-parenting
with difficult former spouses.
www.treehousesolutions.org
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
|
|
Glenn Discusses Eve Ensler's 'Until the Violence
Stops: NYC' on the Dennis Prager Show
I discussed feminist Eve Ensler's "Until the Violence
Stops: NYC" and an anti-male California
domestic violence bill on the Dennis Prager Show
on the Salem Radio Network on June 26. The most interesting
part of the show were the callers, many of whom had
experienced the anti-male bias of the domestic violence
system firsthand.
One gentleman recounted the case of a blind, wheelchair
bound man in his neighborhood who was frequently the
target of physical abuse from his wife, a police officer.
In the end she shot him and killed him--and received
a whopping 7 year sentence.
I discussed abuses within the system in my co-authored
column
Some Progress for California Fathers, but Still a Long
Way to Go (Pasadena Star-News & Affiliated
Papers, Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 6/18/06).
Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"The OJ Simpson case helped usher in draconian domestic
violence policies which have victimized many innocent
men. State-mandated mandatory/presumptory arrest policies
exhort police to make arrests on domestic violence calls,
and 'primary aggressor' policies pressure officers to
view men as the instigators of domestic violence incidents.
As a result, many men have been arrested on flimsy evidence,
or when they were acting to defend themselves against
attacks by their female partners.
"Nearly 250,000 domestic violence restraining orders
are currently active in California. A recent article
in the Family Law News, the official publication
of the State Bar of California Family Law Section, explains
that the bar is concerned that "protective orders are
increasingly being used in family law cases to help
one side jockey for an advantage in child custody."
The authors note that protective orders are "almost
routinely issued by the court in family law proceedings
even when there is relatively meager evidence and usually
without notice to the restrained person....it is troubling
that they appear to be sought more and more frequently
for retaliation and litigation purposes."
"Such orders are generally done ex parte,
without the accused's knowledge and with no opportunity
afforded for him to defend himself. When an order is
issued, the man is booted out of his own home and can
even be jailed if he tries to contact his own children.
His first chance to defend himself against the charges
is usually two weeks later, at the hearing to make the
order permanent. Yet these hearings generally last no
more than 15 minutes. The due process they afford the
men can be gauged by the State of California's advice
for men contesting restraining orders:
"'Do not take more than three minutes to say what
you disagree with. You can bring witnesses or documents
that support your case, but the judge may not have enough
time to talk to the witnesses.'
"Restraining orders turn ordinary men into criminals
by forbidding many routine behaviors. Men are being
arrested for violating their orders by such acts as:
returning their children's phone calls; going to their
children's school or athletic events; sending their
kids birthday cards; or accidentally running into them
at the park or the mall.
"Research shows that these orders often do not even
involve an allegation of violence. Usually all that's
needed is a claim that the person to be restrained "acted
in a way that scared me" or was "verbally abusive"--what's
known as "shout at your spouse, lose your house."
Yet under a 1999 California law these farcical orders
can be used to deny these so-called "batterers" joint
custody of their children."
To learn more about the new California domestic violence
bill, see my co-authored column
AB 2051 Moves California in Wrong Direction on Domestic
Violence (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 6/1/06).
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and happy
marriage? If you've been checking out
advice columns or seeing a therapist,
you may have been looking in the wrong
place. Despite all the advances in brain
technology, and all of that we have
learned about developmental psychology--men
and women are given the same advice
about solving problems. But when we
ask men what works for them, we hear
a different story.
www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com
How Does Sex Discrimination Affect Men
and Boys?
The National
Coalition of Free Men is a non-profit
educational & civil rights organization
that looks at the ways sex discrimination
affects men and boys.
NCFM
helps provide men a unified voice on
important political and social issues.
www.NCFM.org
Has Your Career Been Impacted by Custody
Issues?
After empowering people's careers for
over 20 year, I was duly initiated into
family law just like you--through a
30 month, $520,000 custody suit. I learned
that a solid home-based business could
be the best option, allowing one to
shake the financial shackles while still
experiencing a "no limits" career. More
than ever, our kids now need a free
and available parent. Be there for them...
and for yourself. Darrell W. Gurney,
www.CEOinShorts.com
|
|
The Brett Myers Saga: Baseball Player Beats Wife on
Boston StreetPhiladelphia Phillies pitcher Brett
Myers is being skewered--correctly--for his despicable
assault on his wife in Boston last week. One of the
witnesses described the incident as follows:
"...we saw and we heard the yelling, screaming, and
a little bit of tussle... we saw a really big guy...rag-dolling
a small blonde woman...and throwing her around...I watched
him step back and just haul off and open-hand smack
her right across the face, and I heard the smack right
across the face...he grabbed her by the scruff of her
shirt and yanked her back so hard that she fell out
of her sandals...This guy was going nuts, he was yelling,
he was screaming. She was yelling, she was screaming,
she was crying. She had a huge slap mark on her face...He
grabbed her again, and he threw her down, and he started
dragging her."Myers apologized (sort of) afterwards,
but given the enormity of what he did, his apology was
rather underwhelming. Associated Press columnist Tim
Dahlberg got it right when
he wrote:
"Brett Myers is sorry. Really sorry. Really, really
sorry. We know this because he had his agent send a
statement saying he was.
"He's sorry that he embarrassed himself and his family.
Sorry that the Philadelphia Phillies might get distracted
from a season going nowhere.
"So sorry that he's taking some time off to think about
it all.
"Interesting, because before that the only thing Myers
was sorry about was that people were making such a big
deal over his arrest for allegedly punching his wife.
"'I'm sorry it had to go public,' Myers said the other
day.
"Yeah, it's better to keep those domestic violence things
private. It can be so inconvenient otherwise."
The Scott Erickson Saga: Baseball Player Unfairly
Attacked
Because false domestic violence accusations are so
common, I was skeptical when I first heard of Myers'
case. But this is not a "he said/she said" case, nor
is it a case where DV accusations (and the concomitant
restraining order) are just custody maneuvers. There
were several witnesses, and the story they told was
consistent.
Myers is getting pounded by the press and the fans,
and he deserves it. But as some of you may recall, there
was another baseball pitcher who was given the same
treatment by the press a few years ago, and he clearly
did not deserve it. As I noted in my column
Baseball Player's Domestic Violence Arrest Demonstrates
How Men are Presumed Guilty in Domestic Disputes
(Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal,
8/8/02):
"Baltimore Orioles pitcher Scott Erickson was arrested
after an altercation with his girlfriend last week--the
latest example of how police often arrest men who have
been attacked by their female partners.
"According to the Associated Press, the Baltimore police
concluded that Erickson's girlfriend Lisa Ortiz: initiated
the fight by hurling objects; decided to come back twice
after Erickson carried her out of the apartment; repeatedly
kicked the apartment door; caused Erickson two minor
injuries, one of them to his pitching arm; and herself
suffered no injuries.
"Nonetheless the police, who were operating under Maryland's
mandatory arrest law, interpreted Erickson's actions
as excessive and are charging him with second-degree
assault. Ortiz states that Erickson, who did not pursue
her either time after carrying her out, 'has never been
physically abusive toward me, and in no way do I feel
threatened or felt fear from Scott.' Ortiz was not arrested."
In the postscript I noted:
"The second-degree assault charge against Erickson
was eventually dropped. According to a police spokeswoman,
'The victim was interviewed by the prosecutor, and her
testimony bordered on a recantation. With no other independent
evidence, the case just could not proceed.' The 'victim'
the police spokeswoman refers to is Ortiz, not Erickson.
Ortiz, who initiated the violence which left Erickson
with a bruised and swollen right arm (his pitching arm),
was not prosecuted."
Nevertheless, Erickson also took a beating in the
press from moralizing sportswriters and feminist domestic
violence advocates.
Does America Really Condone Domestic Violence?
Feminists often claim that through most of America's
history domestic violence was tolerated or even condoned.
This view was discredited by Christina Hoff Sommers
in Chapter 9 of her book
Who Stole Feminism?: How Women Have Betrayed Women.
Sommers noted that
laws against wife-beating predate the American Revolution,
one going back to 1655. Sommers explains that many of
the dominant religious groups of the colonial era "punished,
shunned and excommunicated wife-beaters." She notes:
"Husbands, brothers
and neighbors often took vengeance against the batterer.
Vigilante parties sometimes abducted wife-beaters and
whipped them."
Feminist historian
Elizabeth Peck points out that punishments for wife-beaters
were often quite severe--19th century laws in Maryland
and Delaware prescribed 40 and 30 lashes at the whipping
post respectively for batterers. In New Mexico, wife-beaters
were sentenced to between one and five years in prison.
Baseball and Domestic Violence
Since we're on the
subject of baseball, there's an interesting incident
from 1902 which speaks to the question of society's
pre-feminist attitude about domestic violence. In 1901
Mike Donlin, an outfielder with the Baltimore Orioles,
hit .340 and scored 107 runs--both exceptional figures.
In 1902 Donlin, a heavy and violent drinker, assaulted
a woman with whom he had been involved in a love triangle.
Donlin plea bargained, said he was drunk and didn't
know what he was doing, and received six months in jail.
If ever there were
a situation where violence against women would be tolerated,
this would have been it. Baseball in the 1890s was an
exceptionally violent game, and on and off field fights
were common. In this era Hall of Fame outfielder Ty
Cobb reputedly sharpened his spikes before games and
slid into every base spikes high. Donlin's manager had
been John McGraw, a successful manager who encouraged
dirty play. Donlin was young, in only his third year
of major league ball, and very valuable. He had served
his time in jail, gone to alcohol treatment, and apologized
for his actions.
The reaction? American
League president Ban Johnson booted Donlin out of the
league, and newspaper articles in several major league
cities called for Donlin to be banned from baseball.
Violence against women wasn't "culturally acceptable."
It is true that today
there are players who have been charged with domestic
violence and who still play. This is because:
a) many of the incidents
are murky, "he said/she said affairs" without criminal
convictions.
b) whatever the player
has done, it is difficult legally to deny someone their
right to make a living.
c) the players have
a strong union and good lawyers who will work to make
sure that off-the-field-transgressions don't prevent
players from making a living.
When I was a kid I
read a book which discussed the
famous Marichal/Roseboro fight in 1965. After a
series of brawls between the Dodgers and the Giants,
Giants pitcher Juan Marichal (then batting) thought
that Dodger catcher John Roseboro had intentionally
nicked his ear while throwing a ball back to the pitcher,
and hit Roseboro with the bat. I still remember that
after the bloody fight Roseboro told the newspapers
the worst thing he could think of to say--"a guy like
that would hit a woman."
|
File Taxes Online with Professional Help
MENstax.com
allows you to file your taxes, check your refund
status, and have your return reviewed by an
experienced tax professional--all online.
Looking for
a Home in the Bay Area?
Realtor
Janet Attard utilizes current and timely
data to effectively sell your present property
and find the perfect home or estate of your
dreams. Janet knows the local real estate market
and can often find you the special property
or estate before it goes on the market. She
specializes in vineyard and estate properties
in Napa, Sonoma, Mendocino and Lake counties.
To learn more, click
here or contact Janet at
janetgraceattard@kw.com.
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
|
Thomas Jefferson Murdered Women?
In discussing the case of Darren Mack, the Nevada
man who (allegedly) stabbed his ex-wife and shot and
wounded a family court judge last month, I wrote:
"I'm not sure that this even needs
to be said but I will say it anyway--I condemn without
qualification the crimes allegedly committed by
Darren Mack in Nevada last week.
"Mack was angered by his divorce and custody case.
Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe of the
fathers' rights movement see Mack as some sort of freedom
fighter. Most of the commentary by other fathers' rights
advocates seem to be of the 'he couldn't take it any
more and snapped' variety.
"I don't buy it. Though everyone is focusing on Mack's
attempted murder of a judge, everyone seems to forget
that he first stabbed and killed his ex-wife. After
murdering her, he shot the judge through the judge's
third-floor office window with a sniper rifle from over
100 yards away. That's not 'snapping'--that's premeditated
murder.
"Mack is not a good man trapped in a bad system. He
is a bad guy. Because of men like him the system had
to create protections for women, and unscrupulous women
have misused those protections to victimize countless
innocent men. Men like Mack aren't the byproducts of
the system's problems--they are the problem."
I contrasted Mack with the heroic English father
David Chick,
who was denied access to his little girl, and who launched
a world famous, traffic snarling, peaceful, six day,
one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the
Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. I noted:
"David Chick acted with humanity and courage. Darren
Mack possesses neither."
Recent reports indicate that Mack is even sicker
than I had imagined. According to
this article "[during] a search of Mack's townhouse,
police turned up a shoe, towels and a t-shirt all with
red stains after his ex-wife, was found dead there.
Also, police say they discovered more than 50 boxes
of ammunition and four empty rifle cases."
According to
Mack's room held bomb parts (Reno Gazette-Journal,
6/20/06), Mack "had bombmaking materials in his bedroom."
"The materials, when mixed together and attached to
a blasting cap or shot at, will explode, said Washoe
County sheriff's Sgt. Lou Gazes, head of the Consolidated
Bomb Squad for Washoe County, Reno and Sparks and who
was at Mack's apartment.
"'There were materials that could have made a bomb,'
Gazes said Monday...
"The police search of Mack's apartment also found 'several
boxes of firearm ammunition, including .223-caliber
and .243-caliber rifle ammunition which was strewn about
a floor in one of the bedrooms'...and police found 'an
empty rifle case which contained a receipt from the
purchase of a Bushmaster .223 caliber rifle by Darren
Roy Mack'...the rifle was 'equipped with a laser sighting
device.'"
Mack and some of his supporters at the extreme end
of the fathers' rights movement are comparing his actions
to those of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and
the other revolutionaries who took up arms against British
tyranny. I used to be a History teacher but I guess
my memory is failing me a bit--tell me, Darren, when
did Thomas Jefferson stab women?
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
Subscribe to this E-Newsletter
Email this E-Newsletter to a Friend
Missed an E-Newsletter? Find all of Glenn's E-Newsletters
here
GlennSacks.com
/ HisSide.com
To be removed from
our list, send an email to
remove@glennsacks.com with the subject line Remove.
|