Call it the backlash against the backlash. Over the past decade, Americans have increasingly understood that the divorce revolution, fatherlessness and single parent households are harming our children. Now those who view the traditional family as disadvantageous to women are firing back, defending women who choose single motherhood and depicting fathers as superfluous.

Stanford University Gender Scholar Peggy Drexler penned the highly-publicized book Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men in 2005. Last year Oxford Press released Wellesley College Women's Studies Professor Rosanna Hertz's Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women Are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family.

Certainly one can sympathize with those single mothers whose husbands or lovers abandoned or mistreated them, and who soldiered on in the raising of their children without the father those children should have had. However, Drexler and Hertz go well beyond this, openly advocating single motherhood as a lifestyle choice. This view is increasingly being promoted by the mainstream media.

I will be speaking on this subject at "Boys and the Boy Crisis"--the Third National Men's Equality Congress, July 13-14 in

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My new co-authored column, NY Electronic Tagging Device Bill--An Orwellian Measure (Buffalo News, 5/30/07), criticizes NY Assembly Bill 5424, which requires "any person against whom an order of protection is issued...to wear an electronic monitoring device." Not some people with protection orders--all of them.

The article explains that Orders of Protection (i.e. restraining orders) are not findings of wrongdoing, and are issued in an assembly line manner with little judicial oversight.

The column, which I co-authored with family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving, appears below.

NY Electronic Tagging Device Bill--An Orwellian Measure
By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks
Buffalo News, 5/30/07

Assembly Bill 5424, recently introduced by State Assemblyman Felix Ortiz (D-Brooklyn), is a draconian measure which will victimize many innocent New York men and fathers. The bill requires "any person against whom an order of protection is issued...to wear an electronic monitoring device." The device will allow pinpoint tracking of the wearer, and tampering with the device will be a felony.

Perhaps such a drastic, Orwellian measure would be warranted if the men forced to wear the devices had had meaningful and fair trials, and were found to be violent or dangerous. With orders of protection, however, this often is far from the case.

To read the rest of the story and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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"Police said a Tuscola County father used the popular MySpace.com Web site to help them find his missing 6-year-old daughter, allegedly kidnapped by her mother [Dulce Sebald] three years ago. Brian H. Sebald, 26, reunited with his daughter, Briana Sebald, last week...he last saw his child in 2004 in a parking lot at Clio High School in Genesee County. Brian Sebald...said his daughter was crying when Dulce Sebald left with the girl in the taxicab on April 23, 2004.

"Sebald said he asked Genesee County Sheriff's Department officers to stop Dulce Sebald from taking the girl after Dulce Sebald was allowed a supervised visit with the child on that day. Sebald said his daughter had lived with him for more than a year before Dulce Sebald's visit, but that police refused to give the girl back to him. 'The police officer let me say goodbye to Briana, and I just reassured her it would be all right and I would get her back,' Brian Sebald said."

Tuscola man finds his missing child by MySpace
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
By Tom Gilchrist

CARO - Police said a Tuscola County father used the popular MySpace.com Web site to help them find his missing 6-year-old daughter, allegedly kidnapped by her mother three years ago. Brian H. Sebald, 26, reunited with his daughter, Briana Sebald, last week at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. Sebald brought his daughter home to the tiny town of Tuscola on Wednesday - more than three years after he said he last saw the girl leaving with her mother in a taxicab in Genesee County.

''It's been three years since I've talked to my daughter on the phone, so imagine not talking to one of your kids for three years, and missing her first day of school, and several birthdays, Christmases and other holidays,'' Brian Sebald told The Times.

''Briana and I have a lot of catching up to do.''

Brian Sebald said he never married Dulce M. ''Candy'' Sebald, 34, who remained held without bond Thursday in the Snohomish County Jail in Everett, Wash.

Brian Sebald said he also is the father of Dulce Sebald's 3-year-old son, Sarandon Sebald. He said Dulce Sebald began using ''Sebald'' as her legal last name after a divorce from another man.

A Snohomish County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman said police consider Dulce Sebald a fugitive, and said the suspect isn't fighting extradition to Michigan.

Tuscola County Prosecutor Mark E. Reene said he isn't sure yet if he'll try to extradite Dulce Sebald to Michigan, where he could arraign her on a charge of custodial interference. The felony carries a maximum sentence of one year and one day in jail.

Reene said social services officials in the state of Washington ''couldn't and/or wouldn't'' disclose Dulce Sebald's address, even after he made phone calls to Washington state seeking the suspect's location.

A Tuscola County judge in 2005 granted Brian Sebald sole custody of Briana, but Dulce Sebald ''ignored that order and we were left with no option but to issue the warrant for her arrest,'' Reene said.

Dulce Sebald used a screen name of ''SexyNakedCandy'' on her MySpace.com page, said Sgt. Geoff Boyer of the Michigan State Police post at Caro.

Brian Sebald ''apparently knew of the daughter's whereabouts in the state of Washington by using MySpace.com, and somehow he came up with a possible location of the girl,'' Boyer said.

''He turned that tip over to us, and from there the Michigan State Police helped locate the mother and the daughter.''

The U.S. Marshals Service, the Snohomish County Sheriff's Office and the Everett (Wash.) Police Department assisted Michigan State Police in apprehending Dulce Sebald.

Though Brian Sebald lived in Tuscola County at the time of his daughter's disappearance, he said he last saw his child in 2004 in a parking lot at Clio High School in Genesee County.

Brian Sebald, who works as a cashier at a Dollar General store in Clio, said his daughter was crying when Dulce Sebald left with the girl in the taxicab on April 23, 2004.

Sebald said he asked Genesee County Sheriff's Department officers to stop Dulce Sebald from taking the girl after Dulce Sebald was allowed a supervised visit with the child on that day.

Sebald said his daughter had lived with him for more than a year before Dulce Sebald's visit, but that police refused to give the girl back to him.

''The police officer let me say goodbye to Briana, and I just reassured her it would be all right and I would get her back,'' Brian Sebald said.

Read the full article here. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

To learn more about the parental kidnapping issue, see my co-authored column Family Abduction Prevention Act Fails to Address Causes of Parental Kidnapping (The Hill, 1/9/07).

Thanks to Lloyd Conway, a reader, for sending me the story.

Gilberta Estrada hung her four small daughters, three of whom died--and it's her ex-boyfriend's fault?! For example, Christian Newswire just issued the press release "Victim of Domestic Violence Hangs Self and Four Daughters" in which they claim:

"Domestic Violence is a destroyer. It is believed that Gilberta Estrada hanged herself-after hanging her four young daughters first. A police investigation hopes to confirm the tragic facts of this case. An already confirmed fact is that Estrada was a victim of domestic violence. The Associated Press reports that she had previously obtained a restraining order against the father of one or more of her children. Can we rule out the possibility that domestic violence, or the threat of continued domestic violence, was a contributing factor to the depression Estrada was reported to be experiencing and the decision to end her life and the lives of her children?"

Even if Estrada was a victim of domestic violence, it wouldn't come within a mile of excusing or explaining her horrendous crime. But it is in no way an "already confirmed fact that Estrada was a victim of domestic violence." Estrada got a temporary restraining order against her ex-boyfriend Gregorio Frayre Rodriguez. While to outsiders this may sound impressive, it is, in fact, absolutely meaningless.

According to Elaine Epstein, former president of the Massachusetts Women's Bar Association, restraining orders are doled out "like candy" to "virtually all who apply," and that "in virtually all cases, no notice, meaningful hearing, or impartial weighing of evidence is to be had."

Restraining orders are generally done ex parte, without the accused's knowledge and with no opportunity afforded for him to defend himself. When an order is issued, the man is booted out of his own home and can even be jailed if he tries to contact his own children. Despite these grave effects, many courts grant restraining orders to practically any woman who applies. Research shows that these orders often do not even involve an allegation of violence. Usually all that's needed is a claim that the person to be restrained "acted in a way that scared me" or was "verbally abusive"--what's known as "shout at your spouse, lose your house."

The restraining order against Rodriguez was only temporary, and was probably issued ex parte. Yes, it's certainly possible that Estrada may have been a victim of domestic violence, and I'm sure her family, friends and defenders will try to portray her as such.

However, as of right now, we have no finding that she was a victim of domestic violence. And even if they did have a violent relationship, it may have been Estrada who was solely or largely responsible for that violence. After all, while we have no proof of any wrongdoing by Rodriguez, we do have absolute proof that Estrada was violent and mentally disturbed.

The Associated Press story is Mother hangs herself, 4 children; infant found alive.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

As the Associated Press article on the Gilberta Estrada murders notes, in recent years there has been a spate of Texas women murdering their children, and not one was held criminally culpable for her actions:

In 2004, Dena Schlosser fatally severed her 10-month-old daughter's arms with
a kitchen knife.

In 2003, Deanna Laney beat her two young sons to death with stones in East Texas.

In 2003, Lisa Ann Diaz drowned her daughters in a Plano bathtub.

In 2001, Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the family's Houston bathtub.

All four were found not guilty by reason of insanity.

(In addition, Dee Etta Perez, 39, shot her three children, ages 4, 9 and 10, before killing herself, and Gilberta Estrada murdered three of her daughters this week).

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights Online Dating Rights opposes the new federal International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, which requires Americans who seek to meet foreigners via the internet to have a criminal background check and an intrusive report about intimate details of one's life BEFORE any communication--the first time in US history that such checks have been required. www.onlinedatingrights.com SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men Author Tom Ellis unleashes his savage wit on women's studies, gender norming, implants, affirmative action, rape hysteria, pornography, women's spirituality, homophobia, and bad dates. Intended for male readers, women also find it shockingly insightful. Contains adult situations and language. The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything by Thomas Ellis -- $11.95 + shipping from Amazon via direct purchase--click here.

(Pictured: The Yates family before Andrea Yates drowned her five children in a bathtub)

Background: Gilberta Estrada recently hung her four small daughters, three of whom died, and many are blaming her ex-boyfriend Gregorio Frayre Rodriguez, against whom she had a temporary restraining order. What many fail to realize is that domestic violence restraining orders are passed out by courts almost automatically, and they in no way represent a judicial finding of violence or wrongdoing. Estrada may or may not have been a victim of domestic violence.

After Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the family's Houston bathtub in 2001, her husband, Russell Yates, was widely blamed for the killings. I appeared on many Texas radio shows at the time to defend Russell, and was so vilified that I often felt as if I were defending the person who had committed the murders.

Around that time my column "In Defense of a Flawed but Decent Russell Yates" appeared in the Houston Chronicle. The column, which is reprinted below, was the only column defending Russell Yates to appear in a major American newspaper.

In Defense of a Flawed but Decent Russell Yates
By Glenn Sacks
Houston Chronicle, 3/11/02

"It's a shame that there's no law that can give Russell Yates his due," writes syndicated columnist Debra Saunders. "Russell Yates ought to be locked up instead of his wife," says writer Cindy Hasz. Creators Syndicate's Froma Harrop sneers that he probably "misses the obedient drudge who bore and raised his five children more than the five children." Harsh words for Russell Yates have come from many others, particularly former O. J. Simpson prosecutor Marcia Clark.

What these and others forget is that it's hard to make the right decision when you don't have a lot of options. According to Andrea Yates' brother, Andrew Kennedy, Russell Yates "did his best....He trusted the doctors and he did everything they said to do. He made sure she took her medication."

Psychiatrist Mohammed Saeed took Yates off the drug Haldol on June 4. Russell Yates, worried about his wife, brought her back to Dr. Saeed on June 18. The doctor said he saw no sign of psychosis and sent her home.

Two days later, she killed their five children.

Instead of using 20-20 hindsight, let's look at the situation as it must have appeared to Russell Yates before June 20. Mental illness is difficult for untrained people to cope with and to comprehend. Dr. Saeed had indicated that he believed that Andrea Yates was getting better, and Andrea herself has testified that she told nobody, not even her husband, about the "voices in her head."

While Russell surely had doubts about leaving the kids with her, he didn't have a lot of choices. He couldn't quit his job to care for the kids--somebody had to put food on the table. Ending the home-schooling, a violation of both of their beliefs, might have been a severe blow to his fragile wife's self-esteem, perhaps pushing her over the edge.

Instead, Russell made the one move he needed to make--he had his mother come in to watch the kids every day. He generally left for work at 9 am and his mother arrived at 10 am, and he thought he had the situation under control.

He also probably believed that the best thing to do was to try to keep their family life stable, to try to be cheerful and to make the kids happy, and to hope that the medications would work and that his wife would get better. He had seen Andrea spiral down after the birth of their fourth child, and then apparently become completely healthy again--exercising regularly and cheerfully being super-mom. He may have believed that much of what Andrea was going through early last year was simply post-pregnancy mood swings, and that she would get better if he was patient.

He also attributed much of his wife's distress to the death of her father in March of last year. And he no doubt was in some denial, as people who are trapped in difficult situations often are. As he walked out the door to go to work on June 20, should he really have expected that his wife was waiting for him to leave so she could kill their children?...

To read more and to discuss the issue on my blog, click here.

It's 'Women and Children First' in Fatal Boat Crash It was "women and children first" in the fatal Hawaii boat crash earlier this month. Four decades of feminist manbashing hasn't killed male chivalry. The story is Family scrambled to survive as boat sank off Hawaii (St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 5/10/07). Thanks to reader Matthew Chapman. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. The Business of Love 50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years, single households now outnumber married households...if there ever was a time for a radical, new approach to marriage, it's NOW. The Business of Love, by Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development consultant and former marriage counselor, is the first book to show how to take the same "best practices" that build successful businesses and apply them to an intimate relationship. Learn more at www.TheBusinessofLove.org. Help for Michigan Dads Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com A Shock for Peggy Drexler: Boy Saves Sister, Mother in Near-Fatal Car Crash Even Though He Was Raised with a Father I've noted on several occasions that Peggy Drexler, author of Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men, believes that boys raised without fathers--in single mother homes or, Drexler's favorite, lesbian homes--are better off than boys raised with fathers. In my column Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Parents Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily, 9/10/05), I noted: "For Drexler, boys raised by lesbians are a better breed than those raised by heterosexual couples. One day when Drexler was struggling to hold on to her briefcase and her bags, 11 year-old Damien saw 'that I needed help and immediately offered it.' Drexler is taken aback--a boy being helpful and caring? She notes 'when I thought about it later, it clicked in my head: This is a boy being raised by two moms.' "Lesbian-raised Cody helps clean up the playroom. Lesbian-raised Brad offers Drexler a stool to sit on when she comes to his room to interview her. Both considerations are the product, we are assured, of their special upbringings." I recently blogged about nine-year-old Chase Ringwall, who saved his mother's life and perhaps his sister's life with his level-headedness and intelligence after a near-fatal car crash (see 9-Year-Old Boy Saves Mother, Sister After Near-Fatal Crash). In the story it is revealed that little Chase has a father, and he actually lives with him! But despite this handicap, he still saves his mother and sister. I guess such nobility isn't reserved only for boys "being raised by two moms." (To be fair, I do think what I'm writing here is a bit of a cheap shot at Drexler. And I admit I do feel bad about it. But not very.) To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

The father and son in the article below were separated by divorce when the boy, now 21, was only a toddler.

Father and son serving in Iraq reunite in Baghdad
Associated Press, 5/28/07

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Amid the sounds of mortar and machine-gun fire, a father and son both serving in Iraq were reunited in Baghdad after spending more than a decade apart.

Army Master Sgt. William McGraw and his son, Pfc. Logan McGraw, 21, met last week at Baghdad's Camp Victory in a two-day reunion arranged by the military, the Los Angeles Times reported Monday.

"Logan, I am your father," were William McGraw's first words.

The two last saw each other when Logan McGraw was 8 years old. They met only once before that, more than seven years earlier as his parents were getting divorced. As a child, he moved around with his mother, a Kentucky-based sergeant.

"I have a chance to finally know my son. I'm excited about starting over again," said William McGraw, 45. "But reality sets in; we know this is a war zone and there are soldiers missing and people dying."

In Baghdad, they embraced and bantered about sports and family life, including the younger McGraw's 2-year-old son Douyniall.

"It took a little bit longer than I hoped for," Logan McGraw said of the reunion. "But at the end, it came down to having a relationship later down the road and finally being able to communicate with each other."

Logan McGraw's unit was set to return to Taji, about 20 miles (32 kilometers) north of Baghdad. He was deployed in April. William McGraw had been in Iraq for 24 months and was scheduled to redeploy to Atlanta this week.

Just after Logan McGraw enlisted, he searched for his father's name on the Internet and called every possible listing.

Three years ago, he was able to connect with his father, and the pair traded e-mails and phone calls before last week's reunion.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

"I spent 23 years as a counselor including 12 years as a probation counselor. Arrests, prosecutions and sentencing in domestic violence cases are primarily based on gender, not on behavior. It is so ingrained into the system that the authorities usually do not know that they are being prejudicial. Very few cases of domestic violence fit the profile presented in the popular media or used in treatment programs for men."

An interesting letter in the Vancouver Columbian about domestic violence arrest policies.

System prejudicial

I commend Ron Jones for having the courage to say that which is politically incorrect regarding domestic violence. Jones' May 18 letter, "Men victimized, too," pointed out that domestic violence has been promoted as a male against female problem. I suggest that the problem is far worse and far more endemic.

I spent 23 years as a counselor including 12 years as a probation counselor. Arrests, prosecutions and sentencing in domestic violence cases are primarily based on gender, not on behavior. It is so ingrained into the system that the authorities usually do not know that they are being prejudicial.

Very few cases of domestic violence fit the profile presented in the popular media or used in treatment programs for men. The result is that the programs in place successfully meet certain political objectives, but in doing so damage the relationship between men and women. I am convinced that these programs increase the level of family dysfunction.

The way to change the end result is simple. The system and the people running it become honest. I found that both those presented as perpetrators of domestic violence and those who were supposed victims were nearly always honest about their behavior. It is those in authority who operate by a political agenda.

Ron Austin
Vancouver

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

A new study from Statistics Canada found that men are hit harder by divorce than women. According to NEW STUDY: Divorce Bad for Men's (and Women's) Mental Health (Canadian Press, 5/22/07):

"The stereotype might be that a man relishes trading his wife for a fast car or a younger woman, but a new study finds that men appear to take separation harder than women.

"While both men and women whose marriages have dissolved have a higher risk of being depressed than people who remained with their spouses, a Statistics Canada study found that men who had divorced or separated were six times more likely to report an episode of depression compared with men who remained married.

"Women who had undergone marital breakups were 3.5 times more likely to have had bouts of depression than their counterparts who were still in relationships.

"The survey found that 12 per cent of people who were no longer in a relationship reported a new episode of depression, while just three per cent of those who remained in a relationship had suffered new depression.

"Michelle Rotermann, the author of the study, said she was surprised, and also not surprised, by the results.

"'On the one hand we know depression in general tends to be more common among women, but there is also a lot of evidence that shows that men have fewer social supports and social support does seem to play a role,' she said.

"'Perhaps one of the reasons why men are more at risk of experiencing subsequent depression is because one of their main sources of social support is their partner, their spouse, and now she is no longer there,' said Rotermann, an analyst at Statistics Canada.

"Nineteen per cent of men who were no longer with their spouse found a decline in social support, while only six per cent of men who remained in a relationship found a drop. Among women the proportions were 11 per cent for those no longer in a relationship and five for those who were.

"'Jenni Tipper, a research associate with the Vanier Institute of the Family in Ottawa, said 'typically women are much better at building and maintaining social supports, which isn't often the case for men'...

"'We sometimes tend to think that it's the woman who bears the brunt of a divorce outcome. And there is no question that women experience higher levels of economic strife,' Tipper said. 'What we tend to forget in many instances, for the men in particular, they see children all but removed from their lives, which is a huge impact on your life.'"

The article also asserts that women are hurt more economically by divorce than men--an assertion that is very questionable.

I've discussed the myth of the man trading his wife in for a Porsche and a trophy wife before--one example would be The Rise in 'Gray Divorce': It's Always Hubby's Fault (Houston Chronicle, 2/19/06).

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Background: With Father's Day coming up, I'm reprising some of the stories and posts about special fathers that I've written over the years. Tim Russert's Wisdom of Our Fathers has hundreds of stories men and women tell about their fathers. One of them appears below. It's a remarkable book--to learn more, see my co-authored column America's Father Hunger (World Net Daily, 10/13/06).

The story below is "Mr. Strawberry" from Joseph Harrison Kelly of Bordentown, NJ, about his father, Joseph Harold Kelly, a store owner (1925-2003).

"When I was ten and helping out my dad's liquor store, a man walked in looking disheveled and confused. He told Dad he had no money, his car had broken down, and he was trying to get home. Without hesitation, my father gave the man twenty dollars and called him a cab.

"'Dad,' I said, 'that guy was a bum. Why did you do that?'

"He said he could see from the man's eyes he was telling the truth and was in trouble.

"The following Christmas Eve, flowers were delivered to our business, addressed to Joseph Kelly and his son, wishing us a merry Christmas and signed Mr. Strawberry. For the next forty years, the flowers came without fail. I finally asked Mr. Strawberry, who had become a regular customer, why he sent us flowers every year. He told me that on one of the worst days of his life, on one of the hottest days of the year, his car broke down and he, a black man, was then mugged by three white teenagers while he was trying to get help. His insulin was low, he was dazed and confused, nobody except Dad was willing to help him, and he would remember that as long as he lived."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

"Do you prefer ideological sloganeering to real education? Are you chronically offended? Sign up for Women's Studies! Join us next semester to find out how you can put an academic gloss on your victim complex. Sanctimonious scolds are welcome! A shaky sense of sexual identity is a plus!"

All of the above taken from the poster is true, but it ignores the worst part of Women's Studies--it is anti-male.

I've written numerous columns critical of Women's Studies. These include:

Hate My Father? No Ma'am! (World Net Daily, 4/8/02)

Why Males Don't Go to College (She Thinks, 11/13/02)

The Best Valentine's Day Gift for College Students: Gender Reconciliation (She Thinks, 2/13/03)

New Study Finds Myths, Misrepresentations in Women's Studies Textbooks (Cybercast News Service, 4/1/02)

For a larger view of the poster, go to the next page.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Has anybody ever heard of this? I was reading about foster care and orphanages in an article called "The Road Home" in a 2001 edition of The Women's Quarterly when I noticed a statistic I'd never seen before. According to UC Irvine economics professor Richard McKenzie, "Upwards of 22,000 babies are abandoned annually in the hospitals in which they were born."

I've no idea if this statistic is true or not, but the source seems credible. I've noted before that 1.5 million American women legally walk away from motherhood every year through adoption or abortion, and that in over 40 states mothers can completely opt out of motherhood by returning unwanted babies to the hospital shortly after birth. I don't condone unwed fathers who won't support their babies, but it's always seemed curious to me that we label unwed fathers who are reluctant to pay child support "deadbeats," yet do not apply the label to women who similarly reject parenthood by returning their unwanted babies to the hospital or giving them up for adoption.

The apparent fact that 22,000 mothers each year slip out of hospitals and leave their babies behind creates some interesting questions. Since the women were in the hospitals giving birth, it is very likely that the hospitals have the women's full names, personal information, addresses, etc. If an unwed father abandons his child and the child is put in foster care, the state bills him for child support to recoup the cost of foster care. When a father abandons his child and the mother goes on welfare, the state bills the father for child support to recoup its welfare costs.

In these situations the mothers have dumped 18 years of foster care costs onto the state. Does the state go after them for 18 years of child support to recoup its costs? Are they hunted down and jailed the way "deadbeat dads" are? Or, since they're women, does the state let them go and look the other way? I don't know the answer, but I suspect the latter. If anyone knows more about this specific subject, feel free to let me know.

On the general issue of branding men who don't want to be fathers "deadbeats" while giving women who reject motherhood a pass, see my co-authored column Respect a Man's Choice, Too (AlterNet, 8/1/06).

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free weekly co-parenting classes, individual mentoring for fathers and much more. www.divorcedfathers.com

File Taxes Online with  Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your taxes, check your refund status, and have your return reviewed by an experienced tax professional--all online.