The American
Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
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New Column: Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will
Harm Innocent MenMy new
co-authored column
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent
Men (Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06)
discusses a new bill which is currently
shooting through the California legislature.
The bill will abolish the distinction between
spousal rape and other rapes, and aggravate
the problem of false accusations in family law.
Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"False accusations of violence
or abuse are endemic in family law cases. The
California Senate just unanimously passed a
misguided bill which will make the problem worse
by easing the way for spurious spousal rape
allegations to be used against fathers.
"Victims of spousal rape
deserve protection, and current California law
provides it. In order for the state to prosecute
a spousal rape charge, the accuser need only
to have mentioned the violation within a year
of its occurrence to any of a wide variety of
medical, law enforcement, clerical, legal or
psychological personnel, or there must be corroborating,
independent, court admissible evidence.
"SB 1402, sponsored by
Senator Sheila Kuehl (D-Los Angeles), eliminates
the distinction between spousal rape and other
rapes, thus allowing for spousal rape prosecutions
six years later, even if there was no mention
or independent evidence of the crime in previous
years. Under SB 1402, when aggravated spousal
rape is alleged, there would be no statute of
limitations.
"In family law proceedings
there are a multitude of important and emotionally-charged
issues which are often contested and re-contested
over many years. These include: legal and physical
custody; child support; alimony; division of
marital assets; liability for legal, health
care and child care expenses; requests for relocation;
and others. False accusations often allow accusers
to gain leverage in these proceedings.
"The Senate Judiciary Committee
recognized that false spousal rape accusations
could be used in this manner when the spousal
rape evidence requirement was created in 1979.
They noted that in rape cases "the issue of
consent often boils down to the word of the
victim versus the word of the accused...[in
spousal rape] these problems of proof would
be exacerbated [by]...the issue of the complaining
witness' motive for making the accusation.'"
To read the full column,
click
here.
To write a Letter to the
Editor of the Sacramento News & Review,
concerning "A bad law that will hurt good
fathers" (6/15/06) write to
sactoletters@newsreview.com.
Leving's Divorce Magazine
The second edition of
Leving's Divorce Magazine,
the new magazine for the modern
divorced man, is now available
online with articles focusing
on issues such as men's reproductive
rights (or lack thereof), Parental
Alienation Syndrome and child
support. Visit now and get a
free subscription.
Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource Center
is a division of
Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc.
(FER), located in Dallas, Texas,
with offices in both Dallas
and Houston. In existence for
over three decades, it has services
and resources for dads nationwide
and is one of the largest and
most active fathers' rights
organizations in the U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney
Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience
fighting for noncustodial parents
against Michigan's abusive FOC.
Her
holistic approach to divorce
gets results for her clients
while avoiding the scorched
earth approach to law that leaves
families emotionally and financially
devastated.
www.Lady4Justice.com
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California Legislators Being Misled on Spousal
Rape BillSB 1402's
supporters are garnering support for the bill
in part by playing on the false idea that the
American "patriarchy" condones spousal rape
because a wife is considered to be her husband's
property. It's an excellent example of a common
process used by feminists over the past three
decades--pretend that a bill is designed to
remedy a patriarchal injustice when the bill
actually does something entirely different.
A related example might
be the way a woman's sexual history is often
banned as evidence as part of rape shield laws.
Those laws have been pushed and passed in part
because feminists (rightfully) sought to exterminate
the idea that raping a woman is OK, or not as
bad, if it's a woman who is very loose sexually.
The collateral damage is
that in some cases, such as the Kobe Bryant
case, the woman's other recent sexual activity
is very relevant, not because it implies that
she is to blame for being assaulted, but because
it speaks to the guilt or innocence of the defendant.
If a woman has vaginal injuries which she claims
are the result of a rape, the fact that she
had sex with other men shortly before and/or
after the alleged rape undermines the rape claim.
The injuries could have been caused by the sex
with other men, and it's unlikely that a woman
who has just been injured in a rape probably
would have sex with other men shortly afterwards.
It also speaks to the credibility
of the defendant's story. In the Kobe Bryant
case the alleged rape victim had sex with Bryant
soon after meeting him. Bryant says the sex
was consensual, his accuser says it was rape.
The accuser's propensity for sexual liaisons
with strangers supports Bryant's contention
that the sex was consensual, and is relevant
to the case.
In a debate with two leaders
of the National Organization for Women in the
San Francisco Chronicle two years ago
I wrote:
"A Colorado judge issued
a highly controversial decision late last month
on a matter that should not be controversial.
Judge Terry Ruckriegle ruled that Kobe Bryant,
who is facing four years to life in prison for
an alleged rape he claims was consensual sex,
can introduce evidence that his accuser had
other sexual encounters in the 72 hours before
her medical examination for the alleged assault.
"Various reports in the press have labeled
the decision a 'bombshell for prosecutors' that
'threatens all women'; Ruckriegle has been likened
by the New York Daily News to a man who
has 'tiptoed into a minefield.'
"This is not the old-fashioned 'tar the victim'
defense, however. Bryant's defense team believes
that the microscopic vaginal injuries the prosecution
claims were suffered in the alleged assault
were instead the product of various consensual
sexual encounters.
"Ruckriegle's decision followed another controversial
ruling granting a defense motion that Bryant's
accuser not be referred to as 'the victim' in
court. This motion was contested by both the
prosecution and by victims' rights organizations,
which filed amicus briefs and complained that
Ruckriegle's decision created an anti-woman
double-standard.
"That these decisions have drawn controversy
demonstrates how rape-shield laws have stacked
cases against accused men. They also reflect
the success of victim advocates in minimizing
and concealing a real and damaging problem:
Many accusations of rape are false...
"The Bryant case represents a turning point
in the history of rape trials, as the judiciary,
the public and the media have finally begun
to pay proper attention to the real danger of
innocent men being convicted of rape."
My column
Kobe Bryant Ruling a Step Towards Equity in
Rape Trials
appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle
on August 1, 2004 as a point/counterpoint. The
counterpoint, written by Terry O'Neill and Melanie
Stafford of the National Organization for Women,
is
Survivors must not be twice victimized.
After the column came out many people asked
me my opinion as to whether Bryant was innocent
or guilty. At the time I wrote:
"I have no
position as to Bryant's innocence or guilt.
As I mentioned in the article, the case against
him appears marginal. Also, I'm suspicious of
an accuser who is mentally unstable--she was
hospitalized for a suicide attempt two months
before the alleged rape.
"And, as I
discuss in the article, false accusations of
rape are common. Still, the feminists are correct
that there are some powerful and/or famous men
who don't know the meaning of the word 'no.'
A talented and pampered athlete such as Bryant
might fit the description.
"I do deeply
oppose any harassment of the alleged victim.
See
Sacks Blasts Those Harassing Kobe's Accuser
(IFeminists, 7/29/03)."
Two years later,
those sentiments still seem valid to me.
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Accurate Paternity Testing
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An alleged father also has the right
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Paternity fraud in the United States
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Be the Man You Want to Be
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The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women
in blended families are looking for:
Remarriage, divorce, child custody,
and step parenting discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way; articles
and news written by thought-provoking
experts and journalists; personal accounts
and advice from some of life's most
interesting women.
www.SecondWivesClub.com
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Praise for an EnemyAs you know, when a political
opponent does something positive, I try hard to acknowledge
it. To cite one example, before hosting a debate with
feminist firebrand Martha Burk on
His Side with Glenn Sacks I made certain to
praise her for her support of embattled Cuban father
Juan Gonzalez in his efforts to recover his son Elian--see
Martha
Burk v. Warren Farrell on the 'Wage Gap' (5/22/05).
This is unlike my many misguided feminist detractors,
who never seem to see anything positive in anybody who
opposes the modern version of feminism.
Now fairness demands that (gulp) I praise one of
the nation's biggest opponents of men and fathers--California
State Senator Sheila Kuehl. Over the past two decades
Kuehl has done great harm in California, and her legislation
has had effect on that of many other states.
Kuehl has sponsored and helped pass
domestic violence legislation which makes it easier
for unscrupulous mothers to drive fathers out of their
children's lives by false charges of domestic violence.
In my co-authored column
Some Progress for California Fathers, but Still a Long
Way to Go (Pasadena Star-News & Affiliated
Papers, Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 6/18/06)
I wrote:
"The OJ Simpson case helped usher in
draconian domestic violence policies which have victimized
many innocent men. State-mandated mandatory/presumptory
arrest policies exhort police to make arrests on domestic
violence calls. 'Primary aggressor' policies pressure
officers to view men as the instigators of domestic
violence incidents. As a result, many men have been
arrested on flimsy evidence or when they were acting
in self-defense."
Kuehl was more responsible for these
policies than any other California political figure.
Also, Kuehl very much opposed the
LaMusga decision and our campaign to preserve it.
To learn more, see my co-authored column
Is
a Pool More Important than a Dad? (San Francisco
Chronicle, Los Angeles Daily News, 5/4/04), and
California
Senate Leader Pulls Anti-Child Bill in Face of Huge
Opposition (MND Newswire, 8/16/04).
In 1993 Kuehl told a news conference
that incidences of domestic violence increased by 40
percent on Super Bowl Sunday. The media ran with the
story and it was blared across newspapers and TV stations
from coast to coast. As Christina Hoff Sommers carefully
explained in her book Who Stole Feminism?, there
is no truth to this claim. Despite the fact that
several major publications, including the Washington
Post and the Boston Globe, ran retractions,
the story became an Urban legend whose negative impact
is felt even today.
Kuehl has also opposed and tried to
block
paternity fraud legislation in California.
I criticized Kuehl both in my column
Kuehl's Marriage License Bill Ignores Male Victims of
Domestic Violence (Los Angeles Daily Journal,
San Francisco Daily Journal, 6/13/02) and, more
recently,
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men
(Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06).
I interviewed Kuehl at length a few
years ago, and personally she's nice enough. However,
she's saddled with the feminist "men have everything/women
have nothing" world view to the point where she is unable
to make objective decisions about issues involving gender.
When I suggested to her that we need services for male
victims of domestic violence, she replied that since
men are a "well-funded community," if we want services
for male victims we should go organize them ourselves.
Government funding, however, is for abused women.
My mother often says "people grow and
change," and perhaps we are seeing a little growth in
Sheila.
As I mentioned in a few weeks ago, Mike
Robinson and the California
Alliance for Families and Children are trying to
defeat or force an amendment to AB 2051. AB 2051 specifically
excludes male victims of domestic violence and their
children from DV-related services, an exclusion made
at the insistence of the California National Organization
for Women and taxpayer-funded domestic violence groups.
To learn more about the bill, see my co-authored column
AB
2051 Moves California in Wrong Direction on Domestic
Violence, (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 6/1/06].
Many of the biggest names in the domestic
violence field worldwide have signed a letter to the
California legislature opposing AB 2051. The signatories
call on California to stop ignoring male victims and
their children, and note:
"'The data is without question--domestic
violence affects both men and women. The politicization
of this issue must stop and services must be provided
to all children and their parent victims.'"
Robinson reports that in a hotly contested
hearing on the bill last week, "Kuehl admitted that
we have made our case, and that there are a lot of heterosexual
male victims. I almost fell out of my chair."
Kuehl's evolving view may help point
the way to meaningful reforms in current California
domestic violence policy. Whatever happens, I salute
Kuehl for her honest and politically difficult admission.
Finally What Child Support Payers Need
Child Support obligors face a stacked
deck when squaring off against CS Enforcement's
army of lawyers and agents, all pitted
against some beleaguered father who's
working 50 hours a week to pay his child
support and support his family. The
burden of proving compliance with court-ordered
support falls on the obligor, not the
custodial parent or the enforcement
agencies. Very often fathers are forced
to pay money they don't really owe,
or are saddled with fake arrearages
and the concomitant interest and penalties.
Since the state provides a ton of
free assistance to custodial parents,
fathers need quality, affordable representation
for these battles.
Child Support Liberation's Child Support
Audits and Record Management Program
helps obligors challenge arrears by
producing professional, top-quality
self-audits which include all the necessary
records in the proper form.
CSARMP then conducts quarterly audits
that will alert obligors to overcharges.
In addition, they will maintain ongoing
records of obligations, payments and
interest.
CSARMP costs only $13 a month ($38
for the first month only) and can be
cancelled with only 30 days notice.
To learn more or to sign up, click
here and
here. If you have any questions,
write to Michael Kennedy of
Child Support Liberation by clicking
here.
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Thomas Jefferson Murdered Women?Last week I discussed
the case of Darren Mack, the Nevada man who (allegedly)
stabbed his ex-wife and shot and wounded a family court
judge earlier this month. I wrote:
"I'm not sure that this even needs
to be said but I will say it anyway--I condemn without
qualification the crimes allegedly committed by
Darren Mack in Nevada last week.
"Mack was angered by his divorce and custody case.
Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe of the
fathers' rights movement see Mack as some sort of freedom
fighter. Most of the commentary by other fathers' rights
advocates seem to be of the 'he couldn't take it any
more and snapped' variety.
"I don't buy it. Though everyone is focusing on Mack's
attempted murder of a judge, everyone seems to forget
that he first stabbed and killed his ex-wife. After
murdering her, he shot the judge through the judge's
third-floor office window with a sniper rifle from over
100 yards away. That's not 'snapping'--that's premeditated
murder.
"Mack is not a good man trapped in a bad system. He
is a bad guy. Because of men like him the system had
to create protections for women, and unscrupulous women
have misused those protections to victimize countless
innocent men. Men like Mack aren't the byproducts of
the system's problems--they are the problem."
I contrasted Mack with the heroic English father
David Chick,
who was denied access to his little girl, and who launched
a world famous, traffic snarling, peaceful, six day,
one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the
Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. I noted:
"David Chick acted with humanity and courage. Darren
Mack possesses neither."
Recent reports indicate that Mack is even sicker
than I had imagined. According to
this article "[during] a search of Mack's townhouse,
police turned up a shoe, towels and a t-shirt all with
red stains after his ex-wife, was found dead there.
Also, police say they discovered more than 50 boxes
of ammunition and four empty rifle cases."
According to
Mack's room held bomb parts (Reno Gazette-Journal,
6/20/06), Mack "had bombmaking materials in his bedroom."
"The materials, when mixed together and attached to
a blasting cap or shot at, will explode, said Washoe
County sheriff's Sgt. Lou Gazes, head of the Consolidated
Bomb Squad for Washoe County, Reno and Sparks and who
was at Mack's apartment.
"'There were materials that could have made a bomb,'
Gazes said Monday...
"The police search of Mack's apartment also found 'several
boxes of firearm ammunition, including .223-caliber
and .243-caliber rifle ammunition which was strewn about
a floor in one of the bedrooms'...and police found 'an
empty rifle case which contained a receipt from the
purchase of a Bushmaster .223 caliber rifle by Darren
Roy Mack'...the rifle was 'equipped with a laser sighting
device.'"
Mack and some of his supporters at the extreme end
of the fathers' rights movement are comparing his actions
to those of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and
the other revolutionaries who took up arms against British
tyranny. I used to be a History teacher but I guess
my memory is failing me a bit--tell me, Darren, when
did Thomas Jefferson stab women?
New York Attorney General Candidate Supported Child
Abuser
According to the article
Stars light up state campaigns (New York Daily
News, 6/25/06), Andrew Cuomo is squaring off against
Democratic party politico
Mark Green in the race for the Democratic party
nomination for Attorney General of New York. I would
root for Cuomo anyway, since he's my wife's old boss,
but I noticed a problem with Green that should concern
every father in New York State. According to the article:
"Bridget Marks, a Manhattan mom whose custody battle
for her twin girls generated headlines nationwide in
2004 and 2005, said she was hitting the campaign trail
for Green to return past kindnesses.
"'Mark was there for me from the beginning of my battle,'
said Marks, who first met Green more than a decade ago
and was impressed when he quietly showed up in court
during her custody battle to lend support. 'His heart
is in the right place.'"
As I've noted numerous times, Marks was found both by
a trial court and by an Appellate court to have coached
her then-four year-old twin girls to make false allegations
of sexual molestation against their father. All five
judges who have heard her case concluded that Marks
had abused her children in this manner.Marks ended
up winning custody in part due to the widespread media
sympathy she created through constant theatrics, playing
victim, and her determination to place her little girls
in the public spotlight. After losing custody of the
girls to John Aylsworth, her ex-boyfriend, she successfully
took her side of the story to the public via appearances
on Larry King Live, PrimeTime Live, The O'Reilly
Factor, and Dr. Phil, and through quotes
in one-sided "news" articles in the New York Daily
News and the New York Post. (Aylsworth and
his attorney Patricia Grant declined to speak publicly
until Grant's appearance on
His
Side with Glenn Sacks on April 3. To listen
or read a transcript of that show, which both the
New York Post and the New York Daily News
quoted from, click
here).
It is sadly indicative of the weakness of our movement
that an individual like Marks would be considered an
asset, instead of an embarrassment, in a political campaign.
Domestic Violence Expert Criticizes System's Anti-Male
Bias
Domestic violence expert
Dr. Donald Dutton, who has appeared in this E-newsletter
numerous times, criticizes the domestic violence system's
anti-male bias in
this article. Dutton writes:
"A few years ago, a woman arrived
home from work in Saskatoon to find her husband, who
had obviously spent the day drinking, complaining of
irritation with their fractious child. She insisted
she needed to rest before making dinner. She awoke to
find him in a rage straddling her and brandishing a
kitchen knife, which he used to cut her abdomen. Bleeding,
terrified, she managed to call 911. The police arrived
within minutes. They observed her plight, spoke to her
husband and then, responding to the unspoken but powerful
institutional guidelines routinely applied in such cases,
arrested ... her. In spite of her wound, she spent the
night in a jail cell, and was released the next morning.
"As it stands, this story makes no sense -- and indeed
would have aroused national indignation if it were completely
true. But I deliberately misled the reader on one particular.
In the real story, by no means a unique one in police
archives, the genders were reversed: The man arrived
home after a 12-hour shift; the child's mother was drunk;
the man lay down; the woman stabbed him in a rage; the
police didn't take his injuries seriously; they accepted
the woman's explanation -- probably self-defence --
and arrested the man.
"Unfortunately, such gender bias in the law-enforcement
system and beyond is typical, not exceptional. A double
standard for men and women, applied in cases of intimate
partner violence (IPV) -- as well as in family law,
including spousal support and child custody cases --
has become commonplace in most Western societies over
the last 25 years. And in spite of a widening stream
of incontrovertible statistical evidence to the contrary,
the myth persists that it is women, and only women,
who are the victims of IPV."
"The stereotype that unprovoked men purposefully
assault women, and never the reverse, is so ingrained
in our public discourse that participants in research
on IPV -- not just lay people but health professionals
as well -- presented with a scenario in which one partner
abuses another, perceive it as abuse only if the assaulter
is identified as male."
I quoted Dutton extensively in my column
Domestic Violence Treatment Policies Put Abused Women
in Harm's Way (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles],
11/7/05). The column criticizes domestic violence
treatment programs for following an ideological, women
good/man bad model, as opposed to actually dealing with
the psychological problems that abusive men have. I
wrote:
"Psychologist Donald G. Dutton, author of The
Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate
Relationships, asserts that personality disorders
are the cause of most domestic violence. According to
Dutton:
"'Treatment providers who work with abusive men are
very frustrated by the current domestic violence treatment
paradigm. Research shows that Duluth-oriented treatments
are absolutely ineffective, and have no discernible
impact on rates of recidivism. These methods cannot
work because they preclude patients from developing
the crucial therapeutic bond with their treatment providers.
However, when we treat offenders like normal patients
by focusing on personality disorders and employing cognitive-behavioral
treatments, we see progress.'"
Dutton recently released Rethinking Domestic
Violence, and is one of North America's leading
proponents of sanity in the domestic violence
sphere. To learn
more about Dutton's new book, click
here. Dutton's email address is
dondutton@shaw.ca.
Dad's Time Tracker - Get More Time With Your
Children and Manage Your Child Support
Dad's Time Tracker helps divorced fathers
collect the information necessary to get more
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of expenses. This tool makes co-parenting easier
because key "friction" areas--expenses, medical
issues, contacts, day care information, parenting
time--are addressed in advance.
www.dadstimetracker.com
Father: A Child's Right
Visit
www.fatherachildsright.org to find information
about child custody issues related to fathers
and their children's rights, as well as book
reviews on parenting, custody and divorce. A
fun and exciting
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for your children. Learn about the
Michigan Shared Parenting bill.
www.fatherachildsright.org
Time
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Ex-Convicts Who Are Fathers
In
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New Reforms in
Family Law, Child Support (Chicago Sun-Times,
6/18/06) family law attorney Jeff Leving and
I discussed the problems faced by fathers who have been
incarcerated. We wrote:
"The Council also recommends measures to assist incarcerated
or formerly incarcerated fathers, many of whom went
to prison for nonviolent drug offenses. The Council
urges the Department of Employment Security and the
Department of Corrections to help facilitate ex-offenders
in obtaining expungements of their records. They also
suggest a law or program to abate or adjust incarcerated
offenders' support obligations, since ex-offenders have
often accrued large arrearages during their incarceration
that they are unable to pay upon release."
Our family law system's treatment of ex-convicts
could not be more asinine and counterproductive. In
my co-authored column
Schwarzenegger Should Sign Bill to Reduce Prisoner Recidivism
(Riverside Press-Enterprise, 9/21/05) we wrote:
"AB 862, introduced by Assemblywoman Karen Bass (D-Los
Angeles), adds a section to the Penal Code which would
require that upon incarceration, every inmate under
the authority of the California Department of Corrections
and Rehabilitation receive materials assisting them
in lowering their child support obligations. Currently
inmates--many of them mothers incarcerated for non-violent
drug offenses--rack up thousands of dollars in child
support arrearages while they are incarcerated. The
vast majority of these arrearages are not owed to custodial
parents, but instead to the state to reimburse welfare
and foster care costs.
"Everybody loses under the current system. The state
tries in vain to beat huge arrearages--sometimes $20,000
or more--out of dead broke, unskilled, and uneducated
ex-offenders. Because interest and penalties accrue
rapidly, many former prisoners struggle under a staggering
debt they could never hope to pay off. Some return to
jail because of nonpayment of child support. Others
are re-incarcerated after turning to illegal activity
to support themselves, because at their low wage legal
jobs 40 or 50% of their paychecks are garnished to pay
their arrearages and current support. For ex-offenders
interested in and capable of playing a meaningful role
in their children's lives, these debts often make such
a role impossible.
"In all cases, the costs of the crimes committed
and of re-incarcerating the ex-offenders vastly outweigh
the puny sums the state collects in back child support.
According to former California State Controller Kathleen
Connell, the average annual cost of state-level incarceration
in California is $21,000 per prisoner. By contrast,
AB 862's total cost to the state is only $80,000 a year.
"The current system is also unfair to ex-offenders.
Child support is based on income and the ability to
pay. Incarcerated parents have neither. Prisoners pay
for their crimes with their time behind bars and should
not be subject to other punishments which are artificially
extended beyond their sentences."
Of course, whenever you talk sense on child support
issues or suggest that ex-convicts have paid their debt
to society and deserve fair treatment, you're going
to be a target for yahoo politicians looking for a sound
bite, and this time was no exception. To read about
California Republican Assemblyman
Todd Spitzer's attacks on my column, see
California Republican Legislator Says Glenn Coddles
Deadbeats, Convicts.
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads
in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa
Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free
weekly co-parenting classes, individual
mentoring for fathers and much more.
www.divorcedfathers.com
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is
a growing and evolving resource designed
to meet the emotional and informational
needs of parents who are going through
divorce and those already divorced.
Tree House activities are composed of
live, real time teleconferences on a
weekly basis. These sessions are conducted
by two highly experienced mental health
practitioners, versed in high conflict
divorce. Drs. Bone and Evans offer a
wide spectrum of suggestions and education
regarding the divorce process and co-parenting
with difficult former spouses.
www.treehousesolutions.org
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
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Column: Why Dads Matter
My new co-authored column
Why Dads Matter (Houston Chronicle
& others, 6/18/06)
discusses research showing fathers' importance in their
children's lives. In the column Mike McCormick, Executive
Director of the American
Coalition for Fathers and Children, and I wrote:
"...according to a long-term study
conducted in the United States and in New Zealand and
published in Child Development, a father's absence
greatly increases the risk of teen pregnancy. The study
found that it mattered little whether the child was
rich or poor, black or white, born to a teen mother
or an adult mother, or raised by parents with functional
or dysfunctional marriages. What mattered was dad.
"A Journal of Marriage and Family
study found that the presence of a father was five times
more important in predicting teen drug use than any
other sociological factor, including income and race.
A published Harvard review of four major studies found
that, accounting for all major socioeconomic factors,
children without a father in the home are twice as likely
to drop out of high school or repeat a grade as children
who live with their fathers. A Journal of Research
in Crime and Delinquency study concluded that fatherlessness
is so predictive of juvenile crime that, as long as
there was a father in the home, children of poor and
wealthy families had similar juvenile crime rates.
"Adult children of divorce realize
dads are important. A published Arizona State University
study found that more than two-thirds believed that,
after divorce, 'living equal amounts of time with each
parent is the best arrangement for children.'"
To read the whole column, click
here.
To write Letters to the Editor concerning the issues
discussed in the column, use the information below:
-
Houston Chronicle,
Why fathers matter -- to kids, 6/18/06--write
to them at
viewpoints@chron.com
-
Ft. Worth Star-Telegram,
For want of a dad, will a child be lost?, 6/18/06--write
to them at
letters@star-telegram.com
-
Buffalo News,
Dads play an important role in children's development,
6/17/06--write to them at
LetterToEditor@buffnews.com
-
Omaha World-Herald,
Never underestimate importance of a dad, 6/18/06--write
to them at pulse@owh.com
-
Riverside Press-Enterprise,
Don't think that dads are expendable, 6/18/06--write
to them at letters@pe.com
Column: Illinois Fatherhood Council
Recommends New Reforms in Family Law, Child Support
My new co-authored column
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New Reforms in
Family Law, Child Support (Chicago Sun-Times,
6/18/06) discusses the new recommendations of
the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood. Family
law attorney Jeff Leving is the chairman of the Council.
In the column Jeff and I wrote:
"...in 2003 the legislature created
the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood to identify
obstacles that impede fathers' involvement in their
children's lives and devise strategies to remove them.
The Council's report will be released next month. Its
two central recommendations involve family law and child
support.
"The Council's first recommendation is to reform the
family law system to eliminate anti-father gender bias
and facilitate responsible father involvement...A related
problem identified by the Council is the scarcity of
affordable and pro-bono legal services for low-income
fathers. The state represents custodial parents free
of charge in child support matters, and many programs
provide free legal aid to mothers. By contrast, when
a father seeks to enforce his visitation rights, block
a move, or dispute a questionable child support arrearage,
he is on his own...
"Many Illinois fathers who can play an important and
positive role in their children's lives face needless
obstacles. Policies based on blaming and punishing dads
may make good political sound bites, but they are counterproductive
for society, and hurtful to children and the fathers
they love and need. The Council believes it's time for
policymakers to take a fresh look at dads."
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Sun-Times
concerning
Reform family law system to give dads a chance to help
their kids (Chicago Sun-Times, 5/7/06),
write to
letters@suntimes.com.
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and happy
marriage? If you've been checking out
advice columns or seeing a therapist,
you may have been looking in the wrong
place. Despite all the advances in brain
technology, and all of that we have
learned about developmental psychology--men
and women are given the same advice
about solving problems. But when we
ask men what works for them, we hear
a different story.
www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com
How Does Sex Discrimination Affect Men
and Boys?
The National
Coalition of Free Men is a non-profit
educational & civil rights organization
that looks at the ways sex discrimination
affects men and boys.
NCFM
helps provide men a unified voice on
important political and social issues.
www.NCFM.org
Has Your Career Been Impacted by Custody
Issues?
After empowering people's careers for
over 20 year, I was duly initiated into
family law just like you--through a
30 month, $520,000 custody suit. I learned
that a solid home-based business could
be the best option, allowing one to
shake the financial shackles while still
experiencing a "no limits" career. More
than ever, our kids now need a free
and available parent. Be there for them...
and for yourself. Darrell W. Gurney,
www.CEOinShorts.com
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Hogan's Heroes Beat Back Dad-Bashing Bill
Last week we reported in
Massachusetts Dads Target of Governor's Grandstanding
that Massachusetts Governor Milt Romney is grandstanding
for his presidential candidacy by beating up on dads.
Dan
Hogan, Executive Director of Massachusetts'
Fathers & Families, wrote:
"Yesterday, Governor Romney to great fanfare and
at a large press conference released details of his
bill to force dads to pay even more child support in
a state that already has one of the highest rates in
the country. His bill would allow the Department of
Revenue to promulgate regulations governing how much
dads must pay to cover the costs of covering their children
through Mass Health, the state-funded health insurance
program for the indigent."
Now
Hogan has announced that they have beaten back this
bill, which has now been referred back to committee
for more study--often the graveyard for bills. To learn
more, see this Statehouse News Service
article. Hogan and
Fathers & Families founder Ned Holstein testified
against the bill (click
here) and did some economic modeling of the bill's
effects
here. Nice work, particularly given the difficulty
of operating in Massachusetts, one of the worst states
for divorced dads.
Added note: several months ago I expressed mild annoyance
to Ned that Dan was second in command instead of being
the Executive Director of F & F, because if Dan were
the Executive Director I could refer to F & F in this
E-newsletter as "Hogan's Heroes." A few months later
Ned stepped aside and put Dan in charge of the organization.
Thanks, guys...
Alec Baldwin Defamed
We have previously discussed the Alec Baldwin/Kim
Basinger custody battle.
As I've noted, Basinger's attempts to alienate Baldwin's
10 year-old daughter from him are so bad that even his
ex-mother-in-law is protesting. An article in the
Irish Examiner explained:
"Kim Basinger's mother has blasted her own daughter
for wrecking relations between her ex-husband Alec Baldwin
and the couple's daughter.
"Baldwin recently took Basinger to court in a bid to
extend his custody terms after the actress allegedly
violated a court imposed settlement, and now little
Ireland's grandmother is speaking out about the court
battle, which has now been settled.
"Ann Basinger admits she sides with Baldwin, who she
calls 'wonderful,' adding, 'My heart is sad for Ireland.
She's the one that's suffering the most. All this is
killing her.
"'I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her
father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart.
He really is a family man...Kim and I used to be close
but now I don't see Ireland very often because Kim won't
let me and that's because I won't take her side about
everything...She's my daughter and I love her, but I
hate what she's doing.'"
Earlier this week the Associated Press wrote a story
about the custody battle which made headlines in hundreds
of newspapers. Some examples included:
"Judge Orders Alec Baldwin To Face Psychological
Examination," "Alec Baldwin To Undergo Psychiatrical
Evaluation," "Alec Baldwin Must Undergo Evaluation,"
"Judge wants psychologist to assess Alec Baldwin,"
Also, my favorite--"Putting the Looney back in the
Looney left."
All of these imply that Baldwin is the violent headcase
Basinger pretends he is as part of her attempts to alienate
Baldwin's daughter from him.
In journalism we say "nobody reads the retractions."
Several days after the original story, the Associated
Press published the following "clarification":
"In a June 10 story, The Associated Press reported
that a judge wants a psychologist to evaluate actor
Alec Baldwin to determine whether he is fit to see his
10-year-old daughter more often as part of an ongoing
custody battle with former wife Kim Basinger.
"The story should have said Baldwin requested an
evaluation as part of his request to change the conditions
of the child custody order, and that a judge said an
evaluator also needs to spend time with his ex-wife
and child as part of the process."
In other words, Baldwin's not being dragged off to
a shrink by order of concerned judges, but instead is
being evaluated (along with Basinger) as part of a normal
request for a custody modification. Oops...
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Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
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Update on Canadian Parental Alienation Case
In
Canadian Court Nails Jell-O to a Wall I discussed
the way a Canadian court accomplished the all-too-difficult
of holding a divorcing mother accountable for her behavior
in a Parental Alienation case. A Canadian court transferred
custody from a divorced woman who had sabotaged her
children's relationship with their estranged father.
The court wrote:
"'We recognize, as did the trial judge, that the
remedy of granting custody to the father is a dramatic
one. However, that remedy was supported by the expert
evidence and by the mother's persistent, ingrained and
deep-rooted inability to support the children's relationship
with the father,' said three judges of the Ontario Court
of Appeal in a unanimous decision this week."
In
this new article it becomes apparent that mom is
still trying to poison the children:
"The mother maintains the boys remain deeply insecure
and upset 10 months after the court ordered them to
leave her home and live with their father.
"'The other day, on Tuesday, (one of the boys) was crying
and saying, 'Don't give up mommy. Don't, don't give
up mommy,' she said, imitating the young child's plaintive
cry.
"[Judge] Lafreniere observed that the mother seemed
unable to comprehend that she, by her behavior, might
well be causing her children's reaction.
"The mother rejected that notion in a recent interview.
"'These children have their own minds and they know
where they want to be. It has nothing to do with me.
It has everything to do with what they've known, what
they've grown up with and what's familiar to them,'
she said...
"The judge gave generous access to the mom, who has
her sons two evenings a week and three out of four weekends
a month. The rest of the time, they live with their
dad.
"The father acknowledges that on occasion one of the
boys will be a little sad when the mom drops them off,
but within 30 seconds he and his brother are involved
in some activity and everything is fine again.
"'When the boys are with me, they're happy. They're
living for the moment and no, they're not devastated.
I do everything I can to make sure they're secure and
happy,' he said...
"'What I want out of all of this,' said the dad, 'is
two 23-year-old boys who are happy, well adjusted and
respectable.'"
The mother's rhetoric is right from the Parental Alienator's
handbook--insist that the children are in dire straits
with their fathers, but assure the children and the
public that you are doing everything you can to liberate
them. You're struggling against desperate odds in a
system stacked against heroic moms like you. When the
children themselves repeat the words and sentiments
you put into their mouths, stand back and pretend that
this is just how the kids feel, they make up their own
minds, it has nothing--nothing!--to do with anything
you've done.
One saw some good examples of these tactics in PBS's
anti-father film
Breaking
the Silence: Children's Stories, which
we
protested. One of the mothers in the film
had been found culpable of multiple acts of abuse
by a California Juvenile Court, and had both her daughters
adjudged as dependents of the Juvenile Court. Yet even
she did the "heroic mom fighting for her children" shtick,
and the film's producers with a straight face included
it in the film.
Remember, too, that in the Canadian case these boys
are only 5 years old. How on earth would they
independently get a fully-formed image of their dad--who
they were rarely allowed to see anyway--as this demonic
individual?
The story also notes that during the years dad was
pushed to the margins of his children's lives, he "began
to volunteer in children's kindergarten class and joined
their school's parent-teacher association" as a way
to keep in touch with them. Dedicated Glenn Sacks readers
know that this is similar to what happened in the
LaMusga case decided by the California Supreme Court
in 2005. In my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05) we wrote:
"Gary LaMusga's son's kindergarten teacher testified
about the tactics LaMusga's ex-wife, Susan Navarro,
used to try to turn his children against him. The kindergarten
teacher explained that Navarro asked her to keep track
of the time Gary spent volunteering in his little son's
kindergarten classroom so it could be deducted from
his visitation time with his son.
"According to the teacher, the LaMusga boy told her
'my dad lies in court...if you tell the judge...he could
talk to you' and said that his mom had told him this.
The teacher testified:
"'I finally sat down with him and told him that it
was OK for him to love his daddy. I basically gave him
permission to love his father. And he seemed brightened
by that...'
"The teacher continued:
"'The next day that Gary had seen the kids he came
to me the following morning and said, 'what did you
say to him?...He was so happy. He just greeted me with
open arms...we had one of the best evenings that we
have had in a long time.' And I just shared with Gary
at that point that I had given his son permission to
love his father....I'm not sure that he was aware that
he could do that.'"
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
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