Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use
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Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and
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plans, which is especially useful for
parents seeking fair division of their
children's time. FREE TRIAL SOFTWARE
AVAILABLE by clicking
New Column: Illinois Fatherhood Council
Recommends New Reforms in Family Law, Child
My new co-authored column
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New Reforms
in Family Law, Child Support (Chicago
Sun-Times, 6/18/06) discusses the
new recommendations of the Illinois Council
on Responsible Fatherhood. Family law attorney
Jeff Leving is the chairman of the Council.
In the column Jeff and I wrote:
"...in 2003 the legislature created the Illinois
Council on Responsible Fatherhood to identify
obstacles that impede fathers' involvement in
their children's lives and devise strategies
to remove them. The Council's report will be
released next month. Its two central recommendations
involve family law and child support.
"The Council's first recommendation is to reform
the family law system to eliminate anti-father
gender bias and facilitate responsible father
involvement...A related problem identified by
the Council is the scarcity of affordable and
pro-bono legal services for low-income fathers.
The state represents custodial parents free
of charge in child support matters, and many
programs provide free legal aid to mothers.
By contrast, when a father seeks to enforce
his visitation rights, block a move, or dispute
a questionable child support arrearage, he is
on his own...
"Many Illinois fathers who can play an important
and positive role in their children's lives
face needless obstacles. Policies based on blaming
and punishing dads may make good political sound
bites, but they are counterproductive for society,
and hurtful to children and the fathers they
love and need. The Council believes it's time
for policymakers to take a fresh look at dads."
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Sun-Times
Reform family law system to give dads a chance
to help their kids (Chicago Sun-Times,
5/7/06), write to
Hogan's Heroes Beat Back Dad-Bashing Bill
Last week we reported in
Massachusetts Dads Target of Governor's Grandstanding
that Massachusetts Governor Milt Romney is grandstanding
for his presidential candidacy by beating up
Dan Hogan, Executive Director of Massachusetts'
Fathers & Families, wrote:
"Yesterday, Governor Romney to great fanfare
and at a large press conference released details
of his bill to force dads to pay even more child
support in a state that already has one of the
highest rates in the country. His bill would
allow the Department of Revenue to promulgate
regulations governing how much dads must pay
to cover the costs of covering their children
through Mass Health, the state-funded health
insurance program for the indigent."
Hogan has announced that they have beaten
back this bill, which has now been referred
back to committee for more study--often the
graveyard for bills. To learn more, see this
Statehouse News Service
article. Hogan and
Fathers & Families founder Ned Holstein
testified against the bill (click
here) and did some economic modeling of
the bills' effects
here. Nice work, particularly given the
difficulty of operating in Massachusetts, one
of the worst states for divorced dads.
Added note: several months ago I expressed
mild annoyance to Ned that Dan was second in
command instead of being the Executive Director
of F & F, because if Dan were the Executive
Director I could refer to F & F in this E-newsletter
as "Hogan's Heroes." A few months later Ned
stepped aside and put Dan in charge of the organization.
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock
has experience fighting for noncustodial parents
against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her
holistic approach to divorce gets results
for her clients while avoiding the scorched
earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally
and financially devastated.
Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women in blended
families are looking for: Remarriage, divorce,
child custody, and step parenting discussed
in a solution-oriented, mature, and intelligent
way; articles and news written by thought-provoking
experts and journalists; personal accounts and
advice from some of life's most interesting
Glenn Sacks = David Duke?
As you've all seen,
I'm not one to mind getting slammed--facing incessant
stupid criticism comes with the territory. Still, I'm
always amazed at what passes for political discussion
and debate on feminist discussion boards. Feminists
can and often do make the most outrageous, defamatory
and groundless assertions about yours truly, and other
posters seem to accept them without question.
feminist professor Hugo Schwyzer, who has been my guest
His Side with Glenn Sacks a couple times, is
for lacking sufficient feminist zeal, a common theme
among his critics. And, as usual, one of Hugo's enemies'
main pieces of evidence is Hugo's amicable relationship
with the evil Glenn Sacks. And as accustomed as I am
to these attacks, this one is so over the top that it
surprised even me.
The list of my crimes is so long it reminds one of
the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean I
where Pirate Captain Jack Sparrow is about to be hanged
and some stiff British military officer reads off the
long list of his crimes--a list so long that Sparrow
rolls his eyes out of boredom at listening to it, wishing
instead that they would just hang him and get it over
with. To name a few:
"Glenn Sacks is like David Duke; he thinks women
are subhuman and deserving of fewer rights than men...He
is a mouthpiece for ideas which espouse hatred and he
is a militant activist in legislation that hurts women
& children and he is effective..."
"Glenn Sacks is a misogynist. He is blatantly anti-feminist,
and not only that, anti-woman. His position...is that
women and children are the property of men, and woe
betide any woman who happens to wish for any kind of
autonomy. He's been instrumental in communicating all
sorts of rhetoric via his radio show and website to
the public about 'men's rights' and 'father's rights'
that have destroyed the lives of countless women and
"Glenn Sacks [is] dedicated to making it harder for
rape victims to get justice."
"Glenn Sacks promotes misogyny, bigotry and hatred.
He's no friend of any self- respecting man--feminist
And let us not omit this classic:
"Glenn Sacks...wouldn't save you if you were drowning."
Just once I would like to see someone actually provide
evidence for these assertions. I've been published over
300 times--if I were so vile, it shouldn't be hard to
find something incriminating on me. But feminists have
never been famous for supplying evidence to support
Accurate Paternity Testing
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An alleged father also has the right
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Paternity fraud in the United States
is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence,
affecting perhaps millions of men.
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Finding Your N.U.T.s.--Non-negotiable
Wayne M. Levine, M.A., founder of
BetterMen, has written a new book with
sage advice and proven tools for men
who want to be BetterMen in their relationships
and in their lives. Finding Your
N.U.T.s offers men the truth about
themselves, their relationships, their
responsibilities as men, and the power
they have to be BetterMen.
Alec Baldwin Defamed
We have previously discussed
the Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger custody battle.
As I've noted, Basinger's attempts to alienate Baldwin's
10 year-old daughter from him are so bad that even his
ex-mother-in-law is protesting. An article in the
Irish Examiner explained:
"Kim Basinger's mother has blasted her own daughter
for wrecking relations between her ex-husband Alec Baldwin
and the couple's daughter.
"Baldwin recently took Basinger to court in a bid to
extend his custody terms after the actress allegedly
violated a court imposed settlement, and now little
Ireland's grandmother is speaking out about the court
battle, which has now been settled.
"Ann Basinger admits she sides with Baldwin, who she
calls 'wonderful,' adding, 'My heart is sad for Ireland.
She's the one that's suffering the most. All this is
"'I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her
father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart.
He really is a family man...Kim and I used to be close
but now I don't see Ireland very often because Kim won't
let me and that's because I won't take her side about
everything...She's my daughter and I love her, but I
hate what she's doing.'"
Earlier this week the Associated Press wrote a story
about the custody battle which made headlines in hundreds
of newspapers. Some examples included:
"Judge Orders Alec Baldwin To Face Psychological
Examination," "Alec Baldwin To Undergo Psychiatrical
Evaluation," "Alec Baldwin Must Undergo Evaluation,"
"Judge wants psychologist to assess Alec Baldwin,"
Also, my favorite--"Putting the Looney back in the
All of these imply that Baldwin is the violent headcase
Basinger pretends he is as part of her attempts to alienate
Baldwin's daughter from him.
In journalism we say "nobody reads the retractions."
Several days after the original story, the Associated
Press published the following "clarification":
"In a June 10 story, The Associated Press reported
that a judge wants a psychologist to evaluate actor
Alec Baldwin to determine whether he is fit to see his
10-year-old daughter more often as part of an ongoing
custody battle with former wife Kim Basinger.
"The story should have said Baldwin requested an
evaluation as part of his request to change the conditions
of the child custody order, and that a judge said an
evaluator also needs to spend time with his ex-wife
and child as part of the process."
In other words, Baldwin's not being dragged off to
a shrink by order of concerned judges, but instead is
being evaluated (along with Basinger) as part of a normal
request for a custody modification. Oops...
Finally What Child Support Payers Need
Child Support obligors face a stacked
deck when squaring off against CS Enforcement's
army of lawyers and agents, all pitted
against some beleaguered father who's
working 50 hours a week to pay his child
support and support his family. The
burden of proving compliance with court-ordered
support falls on the obligor, not the
custodial parent or the enforcement
agencies. Very often fathers are forced
to pay money they don't really owe,
or are saddled with fake arrearages
and the concomitant interest and penalties.
Since the state provides a ton of free
assistance to custodial parents, fathers
need quality, affordable representation
for these battles.
Child Support Liberation's Child Support
Audits and Record Management Program
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In addition, they will maintain ongoing
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CSARMP costs only $13 a month ($38
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To learn more or to sign up, click
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Armstrong Williams Trashes Dads--And a Chance to Do
Something About It
In his new column
Father's Day: Current state of Fatherhood columnist/radio
talk show host/author Armstrong Williams laments the
decline of fatherhood. And of course he knows just who
"...we must also call attention to the cowards who
father a child but never become a true dad. We need
to take a hard look at why these fathers run out on
their families and abandon their children. We cannot
lower our standards by ignoring these dead-beat-dads
and considering them the norm. We cannot overlook the
problem or sweep it under a rug."
Williams co-hosts a morning show (6 am to 10 am EST)
in New York City, which is also available via the internet
The call-in number for the show is (212) 868-0975.
It would be interesting if during the morning shows
this week certain members of the Sackson Horde called
the show, pretending to have a comment on whatever subject
they're discussing, and then, once on the air, blasted
Williams for his father-bashing column. For anyone who
does it, write to me and let me know what happened.
Again, the number is (212) 868-0975.
did something like this recently (though bigger
and better) to the singer Beyonce over her wearing
fur, and I don't see why fathers' activists can't do
With Friends Like These...
on numerous occasions about father-bashing "family values"
conservatives and Christian conservatives, and here
we go again. According to Williams' biography:
is called 'one of the most recognizable conservative
voices in America' by The Washington Post.
Williams is a pugnacious, provocative and principled
voice for conservatives and Christian values in America's
Do I Even Need to Say This?
I'm not sure that this even needs to be said but I will
say it anyway--I condemn without qualification
the crimes allegedly committed by
Darren Mack in Nevada last week.
Mack was angered by his divorce and custody case.
Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe of the
fathers' rights movement see Mack as some sort of freedom
fighter. Most of the commentary by other fathers' rights
advocates seem to be of the "he couldn't take it any
more and snapped" variety.
I don't buy it. Though everyone is focusing on Mack's
attempted murder of a judge, everyone seems to forget
that he first stabbed and killed his ex-wife. After
murdering her, he shot the judge through the judge's
third-floor office window with a sniper rifle from over
100 yards away. That's not "snapping"--that's premeditated
Mack is not a good man trapped in a bad system. He is
a bad guy. Because of men like him the system had to
create protections for women, and unscrupulous women
have misused those protections to victimize countless
innocent men. Men like Mack aren't the byproducts of
the system's problems--they are the problem.
Whenever a divorced dad has done something crazy
and I refuse to make excuses for him, certain misguided
individuals get mad at me, call me a wimpy moderate,
a sellout, etc. Often the fact that I have never been
divorced or dealt with the family law system in my personal
life is cited as the reason that I "just don't get it."
For example, I heard this type of criticism when I condemned
here. (I will admit though that Perry Manley is
a saint compared to Darren Mack).
To all the radicals out there about to descend on
me over my comments on Darren Mack, I offer the counter-example
of the Englishman
If the system has screwed you and you want to do something
about it, have the courage to do what David Chick did.
Chick was denied access to his little daughter by the
girl's vindictive mother, and had been to court 25 times
and spent the equivalent of $30,000 in unsuccessful
attempts to get English courts to enforce his visitation
Chick then launched a world famous, traffic snarling,
one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the
Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. Facing
a prison sentence for his protest, Chick was acquitted
by an English jury, some of whom were reportedly moved
to tears by his testimony. In 2003, Chick came in second
in the Evening Standard London Personality of
the Year contest and was the runner-up Political Personality
of the Year on a major English television station.
In September 2004, Chick struck again,
London Eye, an enormous 450-foot-high ferris wheel
on the banks of the River Thames. Chick spent 18 hours
there--one hour for every month that had passed since
he had been able to see his little daughter. Nearly
20,000 people were prevented from visiting the attraction
because the police closed it down during the protest.
Popular still, a London jury again acquitted Chick of
causing a public nuisance.
Chick succeeded in changing his case
and is now a regular part of his young daughter's life.
David Chick acted with humanity and courage. Darren
Mack possesses neither.
Dad's Time Tracker - Get More Time With Your
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parenting time--are addressed in advance.
How to Win Shared Custody
If you are an active, engaged, committed, dedicated,
loving parent facing a divorce, family law attorney
Palermo's The Ten Essential Elements
to Winning Joint Shared Physical and Legal Custody
can help you protect your relationship with
Concerned about Financial Issues in Your Divorce?
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Update on Canadian Parental Alienation Case
Canadian Court Nails Jell-O to a Wall I discussed
the way a Canadian court accomplished the all-too-difficult
of holding a divorcing mother accountable for her behavior
in a Parental Alienation case. A Canadian court transferred
custody from a divorced woman who had sabotaged her
children's relationship with their estranged father.
The court wrote:
"'We recognize, as did the trial judge, that the
remedy of granting custody to the father is a dramatic
one. However, that remedy was supported by the expert
evidence and by the mother's persistent, ingrained and
deep-rooted inability to support the children's relationship
with the father,' said three judges of the Ontario Court
of Appeal in a unanimous decision this week."
this new article it becomes apparent that mom is
still trying to poison the children:
"The mother maintains the boys remain deeply insecure
and upset 10 months after the court ordered them to
leave her home and live with their father.
"'The other day, on Tuesday, (one of the boys) was crying
and saying, 'Don't give up mommy. Don't, don't give
up mommy,' she said, imitating the young child's plaintive
"[Judge] Lafreniere observed that the mother seemed
unable to comprehend that she, by her behavior, might
well be causing her children's reaction.
"The mother rejected that notion in a recent interview.
"'These children have their own minds and they know
where they want to be. It has nothing to do with me.
It has everything to do with what they've known, what
they've grown up with and what's familiar to them,'
"The judge gave generous access to the mom, who has
her sons two evenings a week and three out of four weekends
a month. The rest of the time, they live with their
"The father acknowledges that on occasion one of the
boys will be a little sad when the mom drops them off,
but within 30 seconds he and his brother are involved
in some activity and everything is fine again.
"'When the boys are with me, they're happy. They're
living for the moment and no, they're not devastated.
I do everything I can to make sure they're secure and
happy,' he said...
"'What I want out of all of this,' said the dad, 'is
two 23-year-old boys who are happy, well adjusted and
The mother's rhetoric is right from the Parental Alienator's
handbook--insist that the children are in dire straits
with their fathers, but assure the children and the
public that you are doing everything you can to liberate
them. You're struggling against desperate odds in a
system stacked against heroic moms like you. When the
children themselves repeat the words and sentiments
you put into their mouths, stand back and pretend that
this is just how the kids feel, they make up their own
minds, it has nothing--nothing!--to do with anything
One saw some good examples of these tactics in PBS's
the Silence: Children's Stories, which
protested. One of the mothers in the film
had been found culpable of multiple acts of abuse
by a California Juvenile Court, and had both her daughters
adjudged as dependents of the Juvenile Court. Yet even
she did the "heroic mom fighting for her children" shtick,
and the film's producers with a straight face included
it in the film.
Remember, too, that in the Canadian case these boys
are only 5 years old. How on earth would they
independently get a fully-formed image of their dad--who
they were rarely allowed to see anyway--as this demonic
The story also notes that during the years dad was
pushed to the margins of his children's lives, he "began
to volunteer in children's kindergarten class and joined
their school's parent-teacher association" as a way
to keep in touch with them. Dedicated Glenn Sacks readers
know that this is similar to what happened in the
LaMusga case decided by the California Supreme Court
in 2005. In my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05) we wrote:
"Gary LaMusga's son's kindergarten teacher testified
about the tactics LaMusga's ex-wife, Susan Navarro,
used to try to turn his children against him. The kindergarten
teacher explained that Navarro asked her to keep track
of the time Gary spent volunteering in his little son's
kindergarten classroom so it could be deducted from
his visitation time with his son.
"According to the teacher, the LaMusga boy told her
'my dad lies in court...if you tell the judge...he could
talk to you' and said that his mom had told him this.
The teacher testified:
"'I finally sat down with him and told him that it
was OK for him to love his daddy. I basically gave him
permission to love his father. And he seemed brightened
"The teacher continued:
"'The next day that Gary had seen the kids he came
to me the following morning and said, 'what did you
say to him?...He was so happy. He just greeted me with
open arms...we had one of the best evenings that we
have had in a long time.' And I just shared with Gary
at that point that I had given his son permission to
love his father....I'm not sure that he was aware that
he could do that.'"
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad
Have you ever been framed as a "deadbeat dad"
while you were just trying to be a father?
Have you ever been forced to pay child support
while being denied your basic rights?
Have you ever had to explain Parental Alienation
Syndrome to your own child? Have you ever heard
about fighting family law battles outside the
law by following principles of non-violence--and
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad by
Scott Launches RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law Attorney
Lisa Scott has just launched
to expose the truth about what is happening
in our family law system. Lisa, the all-time
leader in appearances on His Side with Glenn
Sacks, says that she was "tired of having
her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications
and politically-correct newspapers" and decided
to start her own website.
Protester: 'I Live in the Same Town as My Daughter
and I Can Only See Her at Specific Times'
Dad says he's biking to Washington for equal custody
"Robb MacKenzie is a corrections officer in Michigan's
Upper Peninsula. He is also the non-custodial father
of a 12-year-old daughter, a situation he says has cost
him money and valuable time with his daughter.
"MacKenzie is riding his bicycle from Lansing to Washington,
D.C., in support of a measure in the Michigan Legislature
that would automatically designate joint custody in
divorce, separation and non-marital cases unless specific
factors dictate otherwise. He plans on being in Washington
by June 22, after taking part in rallies this weekend
in Pittsburgh and in Columbus, Ohio.
"'I'm trying to make people aware of how unfair it is
for non-custodial parents,' MacKenzie said during a
stop in Adrian on Wednesday. 'We had joint custody until
we went to court and that's when the money started.
My lawyer told me to not even bother going back to court.'
"State Rep. Leslie Mortimer, R-Horton, is sponsoring
House Bill 5267, which says, 'The court shall order
joint custody unless, by clear and convincing evidence
that a parent is unfit, unwilling, or unable to care
for the child.' The measure was sent to the committee
on Family and Children Services in October...
"I live in the same town as my daughter and I can only
see her at specific times,' McKenzie said. 'She and
her friends knew the route I was taking through Lansing
and they waved and rang bells of support for me. I almost
To learn more about MacKenzie's protest, go to the Dads
of Michigan website
here. To learn more about HB 5267, the Michigan
Shared Parenting Bill, see my co-authored column
HB 5267 Will Help Michigan's Children of Divorce
(Lansing State Journal, 5/28/06).
Column: New Report--Foster Care System Disregards
My recent co-authored column,
New Report: Foster Care System Disregards Fathers
(Boston Globe, 6/8/06) discusses one of the most
egregious wrongs done to children and their dads today.
Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"When a mother and father are divorced or separated,
and a child welfare agency removes the children from
the mother's home for abuse or neglect, an offer of
placement to the father, barring unfitness, should be
automatic. Yet according to a new report by the Urban
Institute, few fathers are able to reunite with their
children, who are instead pushed into the foster care
"The new report, What About
the Dads? Child Welfare Agencies' Efforts to Identify,
Locate, and Involve Nonresident Fathers, examines
the foster care systems of Massachusetts and three other
states. The report contains a shocking finding: when
fathers inform child welfare officials that they would
like their children to live with them, the agencies
seek to place the children with their fathers in only
8% of cases....
"What About the Dads? makes
it clear that many child welfare workers treat fathers
as an afterthought. The report found that even when
a caseworker had been in contact with a child's father,
the caseworker was still five times less likely to know
basic information about the father than about the mother.
And 20% of the fathers whose identity and location were
known by the child welfare agencies from the opening
of the case were never even contacted.
"These policies are seriously misguided.
When a mother is deemed unfit to care for her children,
dad shouldn't be just one option out of many. He should
be first in line."
To read the complete column, click
To write a Letter to the Editor
of the Boston Globe concerning
Giving fathers a chance (6/8/06), write to
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads
in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa
Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free
weekly co-parenting classes, individual
mentoring for fathers and much more.
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Dad Is Living the Nightmare Described in Boston
Globe Foster Care Column
After the Boston Globe published
Giving fathers a chance (6/8/06) I received an interesting
letter from a father who said he is "living the nightmare
described in the column."
I can't give out many details,
but basically he got divorced, mom got custody of his
daughter, the mother was abusive and the state (properly)
took the girl away from the mother. After that, however,
the state has refused to let this man's daughter come
home to him. The girl adores her dad and there's been
no finding of unfitness against the dad. However, the
girl's caseworker keeps coming up with vague reasons
why it's somehow not in the best interests of this child
to be reunited with her father. These include gems like
"she isn't ready for overnight visits yet." And dad
has fought a long, hard battle to convince the state
that's it's in his daughter's best interests to come
live with him. Meanwhile his little girl's childhood
is slipping away.
The story is incredibly infuriating.
As I listened to the father refute the various reasons
the caseworker threw up to prevent his daughter from
coming home, I kept thinking who cares what this
social worker thinks? Unless there's been a finding
of unfitness, this girl belongs with her father.
It's amazing the way these petty
demi-gods in social services think they have the right
to dictate terms to fit parents as to what's best for
their kids. The fate of this girl and her father is
in the hands of an inexperienced, 20-something crusader
to whom the system gives way too much power. What an
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More Hero Fathers
In my co-authored Father's Day 2005 column
Not the Era of the Deadbeat Dad but the Era of the Hero
Father (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, 6/19/05)
we put forth the concept of the "hero father." Family
law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"Fatherhood has changed dramatically in the era of
divorce and out of wedlock births, and much attention
has been paid to two unfortunate products of this era--the
absent father and the deadbeat dad. However, there is
another type of father this era has produced, one which
has received very little attention--the hero father.
"According to the Children's Rights Council, a Washington-based
advocacy group, more than five million American children
each year have their access to their noncustodial parents
interfered with or blocked by custodial parents. Behind
that statistic are legions of heroic divorced or separated
fathers who fight a long, hard but generally unrecognized
battle to remain a meaningful part of the lives of the
children who love them and need them...
"Over the past several decades the love and devotion
of millions of fathers has been tested in ways few in
previous generations experienced. This Father's Day,
let's honor the hero father."
In past emails I've identified numerous "hero fathers,"
John Brumbaugh and
Leroux. I'd like to add three more inductees into
the pantheon--Daniel Sims, Joe Seldner and Vincent C.
We discussed Daniel Sims' heroics in
New Report: Foster Care System Disregards Fathers
(Boston Globe, 6/8/06), writing:
"...in one highly-publicized [child abuse] case,
seven year-old Kaili Warrington-Sims was starved down
to 29 pounds and imprisoned in a bedroom by her mother
and her mother's live-in boyfriend before being rescued
by her father, Daniel Sims. The couple had spirited
the girl around New York state and then to Florida to
deny Sims access. Sims struggled through a maze of bureaucratic
indifference and hostility to get to his daughter. He
arrived just in time--the girl would have only lived
a few more weeks in her condition."
News reports of the crime noted that neighbors had reported
that little Kaili spent endless hours looking out the
window of the bedroom in which she was imprisoned. No
doubt the girl wondered why this was being done to her,
in what way she had been bad and had caused it all,
and why mom and that man she lives with seemed to hate
her so much. Probably she wished that a hero would come
from far away and rescue her. Because of the fatal flaws
and anti-father bias of the current family law system,
her hero almost arrived too late.
Joe Seldner fought a long, hard and ultimately successful
for his children after being the victim of false accusations
and all the cruel insanity that a vindictive woman and
the family law system that serves her can create. To
learn more about
Vincent C. was the target of one of the most vicious
Parental Alienation cases I have ever seen. I described
his in my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
"A four year-old boy is jumping up and down with
"Dad gets out of the car.
"'Daddy's here! Daddy's here!'
"The boy is behind a locked screen door. He tries
to open it.
"'Daddy's here! Mommy, look, daddy's here!'
"Dad knows he shouldn't open the door. He waits for
his ex-wife to open the door. She doesn't do it.
"'This is my visitation time,' Dad says, waving a
"Mom still won't open the door.
"The boy jumps up and down, saying "daddy, daddy."
He yanks on the screen door handle but still can't get
"Dad looks at his little boy. He pauses, takes a
deep breath, and walks back to his car.
"The little boy doesn't understand. Why won't daddy
come? Why is daddy walking away from him?
"The little boy disappears inside the house.
"Dad calls the police. When the officers arrive he
shows them his court documents. The officers go inside
to investigate. They come out a few minutes later.
"'Your son says he doesn't want to see you,' the
officer says. 'There's nothing I can do. You'll have
to deal with it in the court. I can't make him go with
you if he doesn't want to.'
"Dad finally gets to see his kids three months later.
The children spit on both him and their grandmother.
Almost in unison they repeat 'I don't want to be here.
I want to go home with mommy, I don't want to be here.
I want to go home with mommy, I don't want to be here.
I want to go home with mommy.'"
Vincent C. spent over $500,000 on his custody case.
However, after years of battles and a ton of heartache,
the courts finally decided to take action against the
mother and her Parental Alienation tactics against the
father. Vincent got justice, winning sole custody of
his three children last year.
Remarkably, though Vincent would have been legally
able (and morally justified) in cutting the mother completely
out of the children's lives, he instead turned around
and offered her the same 50-50 shared custody that he
should have had as a matter of course right from the
beginning. Ghandi could not have been more gracious
We had Vincent over to the house a couple months
ago and his children were very happy, and very attached
to dad. In fact, the same girl who had been programmed
by mom to lead the three children in hating their dad
spent much of the evening hugging Vincent or sitting
on his lap.
I'm Sure This is Men's Fault, Too--Give Me a Minute
to Think and I'll Figure Out How
When trying to justify our current family law system,
many misguided feminists often claim that physical and/or
emotional is the driving force behind most divorces.
For example, when I debated feminist family law attorney
Cecile Weich on the Alan Colmes Show a few years
ago, she asserted that if there's divorce, it's probably
because there was abuse in the marriage. As I've noted
many times, feminist opposition to shared parenting
always employs the bogeyman of the abusive husband.
interesting news from Sweden:
"According to new figures from Statistics Sweden,
lesbians who enter into a formal partnership here are
more likely to break up than gay men.
"On the whole, homosexual couples here divorce more
often than heterosexual. According to Statistics Sweden,
after 5 years, 30 percent of homosexual women couples
have divorced, compared to 20 percent of men in same
sex partnerships. Among heterosexual couples the figure
is around 13 percent.
"Since the new partnership law was introduced here 11
years ago, only one half of one percent of new marriages
have been same sex couples. Last year there were 3,300
homosexual men and women living in registered partnerships
The article chooses to highlight the fact that lesbians
divorce more than gay men. This is indeed interesting.
Even more significant, however, is the fact that Swedish
lesbian marriages apparently break up more than twice
as often as straight marriages do. Can we logically
assume then that relationship discord is not the creation
of those nasty men, but instead something endemic to
all humans, regardless of gender? That when a couple
splits up they should both be treated equally by the
family courts, because there's no reason to assume that
one is any more at fault than the other?
BTW, there is one prominent feminist who does talk
sense on this issue. Martha Burk, who appeared on
His Side with Glenn Sacks last year, once wrote:
"With close to half of all marriages ending in divorce,
it's impossible to believe that the majority of divorcing
fathers are violent, and it would be wrong to base public
policy on the notion that they are."
My Daughter Did Something Cute--Feel Free to Ignore
The boy who grew up across the street went off to
Navy boot camp recently and we heard that he was struggling
a bit. So my little daughter, who the boy always liked
and enjoyed playing with, wrote him a letter to try
to cheer him up. The letter is
Glenn Discusses Boy Crisis in Education on Upfront
with Vicki McKenna
I discussed the
Boy Crisis in education on
with Vicki McKenna on News/Talk 1310 WIBA in
Wisconsin on June 6.
Has Your Career Been Impacted by Custody
After empowering people's careers for
over 20 year, I was duly initiated into
family law just like you--through a
30 month, $520,000 custody suit.
I learned that a solid home-based business
could be the best option, allowing one
to shake the financial shackles while
still experiencing a "no limits" career.
More than ever, our kids now need a
free and available parent. Be
there for them... and for yourself.
Darrell W. Gurney,
This Police Officer Enforced Visitation
Getting visitation orders enforced is often very
difficult for fathers. As the ACFC's Mike McCormick
and I explained in our co-authored column
'Roe v. Wade for Men' Case Illustrates Family Law System's
Inequities (Daytona Beach News-Journal, 3/31/06):
"Fathers who want to share in parenting their children
face many obstacles. In a study conducted by Arizona
State University psychology professor Sanford Braver
and published in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry,
40% of divorced mothers admitted that they had interfered
with their ex-husband's access or visitation, and that
their motives were punitive in nature and not due to
safety considerations. A study of adult children
of divorce conducted by Glynnis Walker, author of
Solomon's Children: Exploding the Myths of Divorce,
found that 42% of children who lived solely with their
mothers reported that their mothers had tried to prevent
them from seeing their fathers after the divorce.
"Despite this, state and federal governments spend almost
nothing on enforcing visitation and parenting time.
Fathers denied access to their kids are on their own,
and must wage long, costly legal battles to remain a
part of their children's lives. And while prosecutions
of fathers who violate child support mandates are common,
prosecutions of mothers who violate visitation orders
are almost nonexistent."
Robert A. Fink,
M. D., President of California Parents United, Inc.,
recently sent me some interesting material this issue.
Mike Ayers, an Albany, California, police officer, recently
passed away at age 48 of malignant melanoma. In
response to the Contra Costa Times piece
Mike Ayers, Albany school police officer, dies at 48
(6/02/2006) Fink wrote:
"I wanted to share with you my experience with Officer
Ayers, some years ago, as an example of what it means
to be a fine police officer in today's atmosphere of
dwindling respect for the law.
"In 1994-97, I had the misfortune of going through a
contentious divorce from a spouse who was mentally ill.
Agreements for shared parenting of our daughter were
made and a court order was issued as to the protocols
for such, including timeshare of the child and financial
"From the first day of the issuance of the final
court order, my former spouse used every opportunity
possible to deny me the time which was specified for
me to parent our daughter (we lived in adjoining communities),
and all appeals to my ex-spouse and/or her attorney
to abide by the order of the court fell on deaf ears.
"In most jurisdictions, any attempt to enforce a
Family Court order is frustrated by the fact that police
agencies consider such issues as being 'civil matters'
and, in the case of individuals who continually refuse
to follow court orders of this type, all that results
is a situation of multiple court appearances (costly),
contempt filings, and, usually, no further action other
than the proverbial 'slap on the wrist.'
"As part of an organization, California Parents United,
Inc., to which I belong, I checked with various police
agencies in the East Bay, and found that the vast majority
(including El Cerrito, Richmond, and Contra Costa Sheriff)
will not enforce court orders, even those issued by
their own Superior Court.
"The Albany Police Department, however, based upon
guidelines issued by the Alameda County District Attorney,
has a policy of supporting the valid orders of the courts;
and I finally decided to attempt such enforcement of
the parenting order which had been issued by the Family
"On a day when I was scheduled to pick up our daughter
(then 10 years old) at her school (in Albany), I arrived
at the school only to find that my ex-spouse had removed
her from the classroom before dismissal time (so as
to avoid the issue of my picking her up) and had taken
our daughter to my ex's residence (also in Albany).
I drove to the residence and asked that my daughter
join me, and my former spouse refused.
"I then called the Albany Police Department and Officer
Ayers met me across the street from my ex's residence.
He examined the court papers (which I had brought with
me) and then, after settling me down in my car, approached
my ex's residence and asked that she release our daughter
for her time with me. Again, my ex refused to obey either
the court order or Officer Ayers' request. Officer Ayers
than requested 'backup' in the form of another police
officer and a social services worker and again made
his request of my ex-wife.
Again, she refused.
"Officer Ayers then informed her that if she did
not comply with the court order, he would place her
under arrest for a violation of a valid court order.
My ex promptly changed her mind and agreed to release
our daughter to me. This event was the last time that
my ex tried to obstruct court orders and, over the subsequent
years, there were no further recurrences of this type
"I was extremely impressed by the police work which
was done by Officer Ayers in this case. He handled
this matter with both efficiency and dignity, and, in
no way was he disrespectful to anyone involved in a
potentially highly conflicted situation. He provided
a basic 'lesson in civics' to all concerned (including
our daughter, who remembers the incident vividly to
this day); that lesson being that legitimate court orders
need to be respected and followed; and that 'scofflaws'
can be punished.
"My daughter (the same one described above) is a
graduate of Albany High School. During the years
when I picked up and dropped off my daughter (I eventually
became her full-time parent) at AHS, I frequently noted
Officer Ayers and his engaging smile, and it was obvious
that he was thought of very highly by the students and
the rest of the AHS community. Because of my experiences
with this fine police officer, I had a little extra
reason to smile in return.
"Mike Ayers will be missed by many."
Fink also offers some interesting observations on
the way visitation is enforced (or isn't enforced) in
California. He writes:
"Most jurisdictions (in California and elsewhere)
view a parent (usually a mother) who obstructs timeshare/visitation
orders as a person unworthy of much effort. Most
law enforcement people consider this a 'civil matter'
and refuse to enforce legitimate court orders dealing
with custody and timeshare. At the same time, however,
they will promptly incarcerate parents (usually fathers)
who are behind in their court-ordered support payments.
"Most police departments are guided by the position
of the local District Attorney, and we have been fortunate,
in Alameda County, California, that the D.A. apparently
feels that Family Court orders should be enforced in
the same way as other court orders. This, however
is not true for the majority of other counties here
in the Bay Area, and I suspect elsewhere in this State.
"I think that this inconsistency should be brought
to the public's attention, and that political efforts
should be made to influence the election and/or retention
of District Attorneys, this based upon their philosophy
and policies in this area."
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
Congressional Candidate Takes Strong Stand for
Noncustodial Parents' Rights
In 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate Michael
Badnarik had a strong noncustodial parents'
platform. Badnarik is clearly aware of and
sensitive to the basic problems fathers today
face, particularly the sole custody norm and
the denigration of noncustodial parents to "second
class parent" status. Badnarik is running for
Congress in 2006--to learn more, go to
White Supremacist Mother Wins Custody
From ABC in Fresno's
"Custody Battle Over White Separatist Twins":
"There was a bitter custody battle Friday in a Valley
courtroom with two young white supremacists at the center
of it all. The twins have gained national attention
for their hate-filled concerts." The parents of the
Gaede twins have been in a bitter custody dispute. The
girls' father thinks they are being poisoned by their
mother, a self-professed white separatist.
"The battle over the twins came to a head Friday
inside a Fresno courtroom.
"The father of the girls admits he hasn't been the
best dad and wanted a second chance, but the judge ruled
the Gaede twins would remain in the custody of their
mother, the woman who manages their career as a white
separatist singing group.
"They've been billed as a valuable
recruiting tool for the white nationalist movement.
"Lynxe and Lamb Gaede -- the 13-year-old twins from
Fresno County -- perform at white supremacist gatherings
around the country. Together, they are called 'Prussian
Blue' and are managed by their mother, April Gaede.
"In 2002, she admitted being part of a local group,
'The National Alliance' that distributed racist leaflets
"'I'm a racist ... I believe there are differences
in races. Everybody's a racist. There are two kinds
of people. Those who deny being racist, and then the
honest folks,' said April Gaude.
"She divorced the twins' father in 1997. The divorce
papers accuse him of domestic violence and drug abuse.
"But Kris Lingelser says he's a changed man, and
wants custody of the girls to teach them there's a better
way to live, 'I would hope that they could see a white
separatist attitude, where whites and blacks and Mexicans
and everybody needs to live in their own separate universe
is not healthy.'
"'It's not what this country is about, it's not what
I'm about. I would just hope that they could see that,'
"But the judge ruled their mom, April Gaede would
retain custody and could keep the girls at her new home
"Gaede wasn't talking to the media, but last year
she claimed to be raising her girls like any other parent
-- according to her beliefs.
"'All children are espouse their parents beliefs.
If we were Christians, they would maybe be singing Christian
rock songs. But we're not. We're white nationalists
and so of course, that's a part of our life and I share
that part of my life with my children,' she said."
Hero Quietly Did The Right Thing
According to CBS'
Hero Quietly Did The Right Thing (5/30/06):
"Hiram Bingham IV was U.S. vice consul in Marseilles,
France, as Hitler began leaving his imprint across Europe.
Even though he wasn't supposed to, he issued thousands
of U.S. visas to Jews, allowing them to escape.
"It wasn't good for his career.
"But Bingham knew what he thought was right. And he
did it. Quietly, but his actions nonetheless did not
"The visas issued without permission in 1940 got Bingham
bounced from his job in 1941 and derailed what had been
a promising career track in diplomacy for Bingham, who
came from a prominent family: a father who was a senator
and governor, a Tiffany heiress mother, and a grandfather
and great-grandfather who were the first missionaries
"CBS News correspondent Wyatt Andrews reports Bingham
said little about what he had done and his own family
did not realize the scope of things until after his
death in 1988, when they found the records he'd kept
-- hidden in the house.
"Bingham's heroism was recognized posthumously in 2002,
a dream came true for his children as the U.S. Postal
Service unveiled a stamp in Bingham's honor.
"Elly Sherman, who was lined up with her family and
other Jews outside the U.S. consulate in Marseilles,
where they were saved by Bingham, doesn't need a stamp
to jog her memory.
"'My mother kept this document,' said Sherman, pointing
to the long-ago paperwork that allowed her family to
flee as the Nazis marched forward into France.
"Sherman's family, at the time the visas were issued,
had already received an order to report to a concentration
camp within two days.
"And it was those two days which were the last two days
that Hiram Bingham was still the vice consul in Marseilles
- handing out visas to people who were not supposed
to get them.
"They weren't supposed to because in 1940 it wasn't
American policy to use visas to rescue Jews in danger
because of the Nazis.
"In comments recorded by his granddaughter, Bingham
recalled being ordered to stop.
"'My boss,' Bingham recalled, 'said 'The Germans are
going to win the war. Why should we do anything to offend
"But Bingham kept writing visa after visa, saving life
after life. Among the many he saved were artist Marc
Chagall, philosopher Hannah Arendt -- and hundreds of
"The lesson of that day, says Sherman, is one which
will continue to be passed on to the children and grandchildren
in her own family.
"'The story tells itself -- basically, one should stand
up to evil,' she says. 'When so many others are working
hard to kill you, one man can be strong enough to do
what is the right thing to do ... God, it is so wonderful!'
"'It's also a reminder. Sometimes the most effective
acts of courage unfold in ways unseen.'"
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In the Spirit of Raoul Wallenberg...
actions remind me of the heroic Swedish diplomat Raoul
Wallenberg, who used diplomacy, bluffs, threats, maneuvers,
bribes, and blackmail to save the lives of tens of thousands
of Jews in Hungary in the last days of World War II.
"During this time Eichmann [German
Adolf Eichmann who attempted to exterminate
the whole Jewish population in Budapest] started his
brutal 'death marches.' He went through with his promised
deportation plan by having large numbers of Jews leave
Hungary by foot. The first march started November 20,
1944, and the conditions along the 200 kilometer long
road between Budapest and the Austrian border were so
horrendous that even the Nazis themselves complained.
"The marching Jews could be counted in the thousands
along never-ending rows of starving and tortured people.
Raoul Wallenberg was in place all the time to hand out
protective passes, food and medicine. He threatened
and he bribed until he managed to free those with Swedish
"When Eichmann's killers transported the Jews in full
trains, Wallenberg intensified his rescue efforts. He
even climbed the train wagons, stood on the tracks,
ran along the wagon roofs, and stuck bunches of protective
passes down to the people inside. The German soldiers
were ordered to open fire, but were so impressed by
Wallenberg's courage that they deliberately aimed too
high. Wallenberg could jump down unharmed and demand
that the Jews with passes should leave the train together
"Raoul Wallenberg's department at the Swedish legation
grew constantly and finally kept 340 persons busy. Another
700 people also lived in their building.
"Toward the end of 1944, Wallenberg moved over the
river Danube from Buda to Pest where the two Jewish
ghettos were situated. The minimal level of law and
order that once existed was now gone. The Arrow Cross,
police and German war machine shared power.
"Wallenberg searched desperately for suitable people
to bribe, and found a very powerful ally in Pa'l Szalay,
a high-ranking officer in the police force and an Arrow
Cross member. (After the war, Szalay was the only Arrow
Cross member that wasn't executed. He was set free in
recognition for his cooperation with Wallenberg.)
"The second week of January 1945 Raoul Wallenberg
found out that Eichmann planned a total massacre in
ghetto. The only one who could stop it was general
August Schmidthuber who was commander-in-chief for the
German troops in Hungary.
"Wallenberg's ally Szalay was sent to deliver a note
to Schmidthuber explaining that Raoul Wallenberg would
make sure that the general would be held personally
responsible for the massacre and that he would be hanged
as a war criminal after the war. The massacre was stopped
at the last minute thanks to Wallenberg's action.
"Two days later, the Russians arrived and found 97,000
Jews alive in Budapest's two Jewish ghettos. In total
120,000 Jews survived the Nazi extermination in Hungary.
Per Anger, Wallenberg's friend and colleague, Wallenberg
must be honored with saving at least 100,000 Jews."
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