The American
Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use
custody calendar software program designed
for divorced families to track visitation
schedules. Includes a built-in percentage
calculator, schedule templates, free
training and excellent customer assistance.
Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and
mediators can generate equitable parenting
plans, which is especially useful for
parents seeking fair division of their
children's time. FREE TRIAL SOFTWARE
AVAILABLE by clicking
here.
|
New Column: Resolving the Boy Crisis in
SchoolsMy latest co-authored column
Resolving the Boy Crisis in Schools (Chicago
Sun-Times, 5/7/06), discusses a recent
Chicago Board of Education report which showed
that girls enjoy a 63-37% advantage over boys
in gaining admittance to Chicago's eight selective-enrollment
college prep high schools. Family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"In response, Chicago Public
Schools CEO Arne Duncan and top administrators
at Jones, Whitney Young and Brooks prep schools
are advocating that schools consider 'gender
weighting.' Yet to balance the scales
by employing admissions preferences is misguided.
What's needed instead is a rethinking of the
way we educate, beginning at the earliest levels.
"Many healthy, energetic,
intelligent boys are branded as behavior problems
as soon as they begin school, and are punished
and put on Ritalin or other drugs so they will
sit still. Little thought is given to two obvious
questions: how could a six or seven year-old
be 'bad'? And how could so many boys need drugs
to function in school? Because schools and classrooms
do not fit their educational needs, many boys
disengage from school long before they ever
reach the prep school level.
"Many modern educational
practices are counterproductive for boys. Success
in school is tightly correlated with the ability
to sit still, be quiet and complete paperwork
and assignments which are sometimes of questionable
value. A 'get tough' mentality--under which
teachers give excessive homework lest they appear
uncommitted or weak--has become a substitute
for educators actually having a sound reason
for assigning all the work they assign."
We also discussed one of
my pet peeves--the way our schools (and our
society) devalue and disregard the talents and
contributions of men who work with their hands.
We wrote:
"The deterioration of vocational
education also hurts boys. US Department of
Education data show that these programs suffered
a sharp decline from 1982 to 1992 and never
recovered. Vocational classes once started low
and middle achieving boys on the path to careers
as skilled tradesmen. They have now often been
replaced by an asinine yet pervasive mantra
that defines as successful only those who go
to college and become doctors or lawyers. This
mantra often disrespects boys' blue collar
fathers, who also happen to be their primary
role models. In fact, to suggest that a boy
pursue a career working with his hands leaves
a teacher open to charges of harming students
by encouraging low expectations.
To write a Letter to the Editor of the
Sun-Times, concerning
Resolving the boy crisis in schools (Chicago
Sun-Times, 5/7/06), write to
letters@suntimes.com
I've discussed the boy crisis in education
in numerous newspaper columns and on the radio.
I don't know how many times I've been on a radio
show and a caller has said that his or her five
or six year-old boy is a "behavior problem"
or was "diagnosed with ADD" and he or she was
agonizing over whether or not to put him on
Ritalin.
The boy crisis was also the impetus behind
our highly-publicized
Campaign Against 'Boys are Stupid' Products
(12/14/03-3/1/04). In seven weeks our campaign
drove T-shirts, hats, and other merchandise
bearing the slogan "Boys are Stupid--Throw Rocks
at Them" out of nearly 3,500 retail outlets
worldwide. In my column
Why I Launched the Campaign Against 'Boys are
Stupid' Products (Los Angeles Daily News,
2/4/04) I wrote:
"The stores dropped the products after being
bombarded with thousands of e-mails and phone
calls, largely from the listeners and supporters
of my radio talk show. Most of those taking
action have been fathers who are concerned about
the cultural atmosphere surrounding their boys.
"However, some of the most passionate and articulate
supporters of our campaign have been the mothers
and grandmothers of boys. It is mothers who
generally supervise their children's educations
on a day-to-day basis, and they more than anybody
see boys' largely ignored struggles.
"Though our educational establishment has been
slow to recognize it, boys have fallen seriously
behind girls at all K-12 levels. Girls get better
grades than boys and are far more likely to
graduate high school and go to college. The
vast majority of learning-disabled students
are boys, as are students diagnosed with attention-deficit
hyperactivity disorder. Nearly nine million
prescriptions of Ritalin are written for American
children each year--most of them for boys between
the ages of six and 12.
"Boys also suffer from having few men in their
lives. Modern schools, particularly at the elementary
level, are often devoid of men except perhaps
the janitor and the maintenance crew. And there
are more boys growing up in fatherless homes
than ever before.
"Add to all of these problems a boy-bashing
preteen and teen culture--where clothing which
insults and taunts boys is seen as acceptable
and 'funny'--and it's natural that many boys
feel the deck is stacked against them.
"As parents, we suffer along with our children,
and like millions of mothers and fathers, my
wife and I have lain awake in bed many nights
worrying about our son. Perhaps this explains
why the campaign has struck such a chord--over
400 newspapers and television and radio stations
in seven countries have carried stories about
it."
Glenn Discusses SB 1482 on Hot 92 Jamz
in Los Angeles
I discussed
SB 1482, the new California bill which will
make it easier for custodial parents to move
children away from noncustodial parents, with
Josefa Salinas on Hot 92 Jamz FM 92.3 in Los
Angeles on May 7.
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women
in blended families are looking for:
Remarriage, divorce, child custody,
and step parenting discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way; articles
and news written by thought-provoking
experts and journalists; personal accounts
and advice from some of life's most
interesting women.
www.SecondWivesClub.com
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO |
New Column: Memphis Commercial Appeal,
Chest-Thumping Sheriff Humiliate Hard Luck Noncustodial
ParentsMy new co-authored
column,
Memphis Commercial Appeal, Chest-Thumping
Sheriff Humiliate Hard Luck Noncustodial Parents
(Tennessee Tribune, 4/27/06),
discusses recent attacks on Memphis "deadbeat
dads." The column details numerous examples
of child support enforcement publicly humiliating
innocent people. Family law attorney Jeff Leving
and I wrote:
"Shelby County Sheriff
Mark Luttrell recently published the names and
birthdays of 4,500 alleged deadbeat parents
in the Memphis Commercial Appeal, Tennessee's
largest newspaper. Luttrell states that
he took out the ads because the 9,000 parents
for whom he has warrants owe their children
$75 million--$8,333 per parent. One man allegedly
owes $1.3 million. At the same time, Luttrell's
deputies fanned out across largely black South
Memphis hunting down 'deadbeats.' Both the humiliating
newspaper ads and the police raids unfairly
target low-income parents...
"Child support enforcement
agencies are notorious for their bureaucratic
bungling and incessant computer errors.
When other law enforcement officials have published
'deadbeat' parent lists similar to Luttrell's,
innocent people have been vilified and subjected
to public ridicule.
"For example, when the
Louisville Courier-Journal published
the names and addresses of 1,000 alleged child
support scofflaws in July of last year on behalf
of Jefferson County Attorney Irv Maze, they
listed James H. Frazier as a deadbeat who owes
$57,000. Unfortunately, they listed his name
above the home address of James R. Frazier.
"WAVE 3 TV in Louisville
reported that James R. Frazier and his wife
Bertha--both of whom seethed at being publicly
humiliated--had been erroneously targeted by
Maze before, and had spent years fighting to
straighten out the error. In fact, Maze's office
had previously acknowledged its mistake--and
then went ahead and published the erroneous
information anyway. In fact, as of October 1--over
two months later--Maze still had not corrected
the error on his list of 1,000 'deadbeats' on
the County Attorney's website.
"ABC 7 KGO News in San
Francisco, California has followed the saga
of Alex Mendez, a childless man who has been
mistakenly targeted for alleged overdue child
support five times in the past three years by
two different counties. After embarrassing media
coverage, local enforcement officials repeatedly
pledged to fix the error but have failed to
do so.
"The list published by
the Commercial Appeal appears to have
similar problems. Memphis' News Channel 3 WREG
quotes a juvenile court source as saying that
some of those on the list may have already paid
their child support. Nicholas Burchett of WREG
was shocked and angered to find his father listed
as a 'deadbeat'--the man has been dead for 14
years.
"Eyewitness News-WPTY reports
that the Department of Human Services lost thousands
of dollars of child support paid by Hugh Jones
of Memphis, leaving Jones with a $10,000 child
support arrearage. According to WPTY,
DHS cashed Jones' checks six times but, despite
Jones' detailed documentation, has failed to
credit his account. WPTY reports that Jones
'has to continue paying his child support if
he wants to remain a free man' and avoid jail,
even though his 'debt' consists of money he
has already paid.
"In the wake of the
Louisville ads Maze wrote a column in which
he claimed that his policies 'make a clear distinction
between 'dead broke' and 'dead beat' among child
support obligors.' As an example, Maze explained
'One parent, whose name is not on the list,
but who is behind in her payments, contacted
my office stating that she had been unable to
find steady employment.'
"Yet child support expert
Jane Spies of the National Family Justice Association
discovered that although Maze says this woman
was not on his published deadbeat list, in a
previous interview on National Public Radio
Maze spoke of the same woman, and said she 'saw
her name in the newspaper' and contacted him.
In other words, Maze admits that the woman was
too poor to pay her child support, but he nevertheless
publicly humiliated her by publishing her name
and address. Many if not most of those targeted
in Luttrell's raids and Commercial Appeal
ads are in similar situations."
|
|
|
Tiger Woods' Father RememberedTiger Woods' father
Earl died last week at age 74. Eugene Robinson wrote
in the
Washington Post:
"Earl Woods did much more than raise a supremely
talented golfer. In an age when it's rare to read a
sentence with the words 'African American' and 'father'
that doesn't also include 'absent' or some other pejorative,
Earl and Tiger Woods were the world's most visible,
and inspiring, counterexample. 'He was the person I
looked up to more than anyone,' Tiger Woods said following
his father's death, and even the world's biggest cynic
had to know he meant every word.
"To me, the two defining aspects of Tiger Woods's
career have been his supernatural ability to make a
golf ball do impossible things and his relationship
with his father. Two moments stand out: The Sunday afternoon
in 1997 when Tiger became the first black man ever to
win the Masters and cried like a little boy in the arms
of his father, who was there against doctor's orders
after almost dying in heart surgery. And the Sunday
afternoon in 2005 when Tiger won his fourth Masters
and cried again, because Earl Woods, for the first time,
had been too sick to come to the course and root him
on."
Concerned
about Financial Issues in Your Divorce?
If you're concerned about financial issues in
your divorce, contact
Jim DiGabriele
of DiGabriele, McNulty & Co by email
here or at
973-243-2600. |
PBS films Fathers
& Families Meeting, Lobbying
A couple weeks ago we updated you on the situation
regarding the PBS controversy--see
An Announcement Regarding Our Campaign Against PBS's
Anti-Father Breaking the Silence.
We explained that "we have been in talks with the producers
who are making the new film on behalf of PBS, and film
crews will be filming and conducting interviews in New
York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and other places in
April. Fathers & Families members will be filmed April
27 and 28."
According to Fathers & Families:
"About 200 men and women attended Fathers & Families'
general membership meeting last Thursday, April 27,
at the Copley Westin Hotel in downtown Boston. The meeting,
led by Dan Hogan, was filmed by a PBS documentary film
crew. In addition, reporters from several newspapers,
including the Christian Science Monitor were
on hand.
"Members were truly eloquent in narrating how the current
system has torn their children out of their lives, doing
great harm to the children in the process. A Massachusetts
firefighter described how a judge has made it virtually
impossible for him to be with his children now that
he is a quadriplegic as a result of an accident last
year. A Harvard Medical School gastroenterologist provided
perhaps the most tragicomic and ironic anecdote. Despite
taking life-and-death care of his patients, he described
how he has been prevented from discussing his child's
health and has had to defend himself against charges
that he caused his son's constipation!
"The meeting culminated a day in which the PBS crew
followed Ned Holstein as he patrolled the State House,
meeting with legislators and aides to advocate for shared
parenting. PBS also filmed interviews in the F&F office.
"The evening event drew such a large crowd that additional
meeting space had to be opened up to accommodate all
who wished to get in.
"Dan Hogan began by introducing the staff, consultants,
interns and regular volunteers for Fathers & Families.
These 15 people demonstrate that Fathers & Families
is growing at a fast rate.
"Representative Colleen Garry of Dracut, the leading
legislative sponsor of our shared parenting bill, received
a standing ovation for her powerful speech supporting
shared parenting. Kevin Thompson fired up the partisan
crowd with his account of the banning of his book,
Exposing the Corruption in the Massachusetts Family
Courts. Jeff Parks discussed the healing powers
of parental alienation groups and the role that political
activism can play in the healing process. Dan Hogan,
after updating us on the status of shared parenting
around the country and world, called for the fathers'
movement to reach out and begin a dialogue with our
opponents, especially the domestic violence movement.
And Ned Holstein closed the meeting by speaking movingly
about what it really means to be a father.
"Thanks to all who took the time to attend. When the
PBS documentary is aired, it will show that the fathers'
movement is one that fills the house to overflowing.
And most important, it will show that we care deeply
about our children."
Dad's Time Tracker - Get More Time With Your
Children and Manage Your Child Support
Dad's Time Tracker helps divorced fathers
collect the information necessary to get more
parenting time, lower their child support, or
gain custody of their children. This guide walks
fathers through creating a child support payment
record and thorough tracking of expenses made
on behalf of the children. Co-parenting
can be dramatically improved when utilizing
this tool because key "friction" areas--expenses,
medical issues, contacts, day care information,
parenting time--are addressed in advance.
www.dadstimetracker.com
Father: A Child's Right
Visit
www.fatherachildsright.org to find information
about child custody issues related to fathers
and their children's rights, as well as book
reviews on parenting, custody and divorce. A
fun and exciting
father & son baseball component is added
for enjoyment. Buy books, magazines and DVDs
for your children. Learn about the
Michigan Shared Parenting bill.
www.fatherachildsright.org
|
Kansas Child Support Idiocy
The Kansas legislature has just passed a bill under
which parents falling behind in their court-ordered
child support payments by a whopping $500 could find
their driving severely restricted. The bill went to
Kansas Governor Gov. Kathleen Sebelius yesterday. According
to the Associated Press'
State: Pay child support or be a restricted driver:
"The House voted 108-14 on the measure worked out
by negotiators from the two chambers. Last week, the
Senate approved it 36-4. Sebelius is expected to sign
the bill.
"The bill still says those owing more than $500 in
child support would be targeted by the Department of
Social and Rehabilitation Services to have their licenses
restricted until the debt is paid or until parents make
arrangements to pay what's owed.
"As passed by the House, the bill would have resulted
in a license being revoked, but the Senate changed that
to allow parents to have a restricted license for such
things as going to work or school, medical emergencies,
and taking children to and from school.
"'If they have a job, we want them to go to work
so they can pay what they owe,' said Rep. Mike O'Neal,
R-Hutchinson, his chamber's lead negotiator on the bill.
"Most child support payments in Kansas go through SRS
to the parent primarily responsible for the child's
care. SRS says the bill would mean an additional $200,000
in child support collections."
I criticized this legislation in my co-authored column
Kansas License Bill Unfair to Noncustodial Parents
(Wichita Eagle, 3/8/06). Family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"While such measures always make for good sound bites
and electoral politics, they make poor public policy.
That's because the vast majority of those behind on
child support are low-income parents who have been saddled
with artificially inflated paper arrearages that they
couldn't possibly pay...
"Perhaps this is why while DSRS recently announced
that their top five deadbeats owe an average of $225,000
in back child support, they have refused to disclose
these individuals' occupations. The pot of child support
gold which DSRS Secretary Gary Daniels professes he'll
find if he gets 'the [enforcement] tools that some other
states have' simply does not exist...
"HB 2706's $500 arrearage limit is particularly misguided
and destructive. A Kansas father of three who earns
a pre-tax income of $3,850 a month pays about $1,050
a month in child support. If he is out of work
for even a brief period, HB 2706's punitive measures
could impede his ability to earn a living, sending him
into a downward spiral of arrearages and debt...
"Daniels says a crackdown is needed because only
54 percent of Kansas children who are owed support receive
their full shares. However, DSRS is already able to
get drivers' licenses suspended through contempt of
court proceedings. The real problem is that the vast
majority of the child support debt is simply uncollectible.
Instead of enacting new draconian measures, the legislature
should instead mandate that DSRS focus its enforcement
efforts on true scofflaws with real arrearages instead
of hard luck parents with counterfeit ones."
Ironic, too, that this comes right now, just as neighboring
Missouri has publicly revealed that it made a gross
error in the tragic Chalmers case, and is now conducting
a larger review of its system. See my entry "I Couldn't
Be Less Surprised" below for more information.
On a positive note, I suppose I should commend the
Kansas Senate for at least having the common sense to
make provisions to allow "deadbeats" to drive to work
and back.
Albany Times Union Editorial Cartoonist Blasts
NY Assembly Committee for Opposing A330
Well said...
If for some reason the above cartoon doesn't load, you
can view it on the Times Union's website
here.
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is a growing
and evolving resource designed to meet the emotional
and informational needs of parents who are going
through divorce and those already divorced.
Tree House activities are composed of live,
real time teleconferences on a weekly basis.
These sessions are conducted by two highly experienced
mental health practitioners, versed in high
conflict divorce. Drs. Bone and Evans offer
a wide spectrum of suggestions and education
regarding the divorce process and co-parenting
with difficult former spouses.
www.treehousesolutions.org
Are
You Really the Father?
Find out the underlying flaws in the DNA paternity
testing system and learn how a man with results
in the 90%, 95% or even 99% positive range may
not be the father. Learn what most lawyers and
judges don't know about paternity testing.
www.paternitytestflaw.com.
|
Dad Gets His Daughters Back After Mom Abducts Them
The article
Dad, kids Poland-bound after rulings (Chicago
Tribune, 4/26/06) discusses an international abduction
case in which a divorcing Polish mother abducted her
two daughters to the United States, disappearing with
the girls without even telling the dad. I hear of these
nightmarish cases all the time and it seems that, regardless
of what the law says, it is difficult for dads to win.
In this case, family law attorney Jeff Leving scored
a big victory, getting the dad his kids back and righting
the wrong. According to the Tribune:
"A Polish man, whose daughters disappeared and were
found to be living in the Chicago area with their mother
since last year, took the girls back to his country
on Tuesday after a series of legal victories.
"Janusz Adamczyk, 39, was reunited with his daughters
at a
Bedford
Park school Monday afternoon. He had been
trying to return Gabriela, 8, and Adrianna, 10, to
Poland
since June, when he learned his wife brought the girls
here.
"'It took me a lot of time and effort but finally
it seems I'm successful,' he said before he and the
girls boarded a plane. 'I did this for my kids, not
for myself or to prove anything. I know this is what
they need.'
"He acknowledged it would take time for the girls
to adjust, 'but they need their mother to give them
support.'
"A weeping Beata Adamczyk, their mother, said in a phone
interview that she was en route to O'Hare International
Airport in hopes of seeing her daughters because they
were taken from school and she didn't get to say goodbye.
"'I know I broke the law, but I thought I was doing
the best for the kids,' she said. 'In
Poland
there is no future for the kids. I'm just so upset.'
"The Adamczyks had been involved in an international
custody battle after separating last year. They were
in the midst of a divorce in
Poland when Beata Adamczyk , 37, brought the children
to south suburban
Summit.
"Janusz Adamczyk's attorneys said the case highlights
how more international abductions are ending up in the
U.S. court system.
"According to the
National
Center
for Missing and Exploited Children, caseloads regarding
international parental abductions grew by 69 percent
last year. Julia Alanen, director of the international
division, said more people are learning how to reach
out for help.
"'There are no really solid statistics [of how often
it occurs] because the majority of these cases go unreported,'
she said. 'But the increased ease of international travel
and access has made it easier for people to carry on
international relationships. You do end up with international
parental disputes.'
"Adamczyk reported his children missing in
Poland and was connected to an attorney by the
National
Center
for Missing and Exploited Children.
"'This decision, it speaks volumes and sends a message
to any parent who wants to wrongfully kidnap a child,'
said Jeffery M. Leving, whose law firm represented the
father. 'This decision communicates that the
U.S. will not stand by and support a
kidnapper.'
"Adamczyk said that after he and his wife separated
last year, she and the children moved more than 450
miles from his
Tarnow,
Poland home. When he went to check on
them, he learned they were gone.
"'I didn't even know she was leaving,' he said. 'I didn't
know where my kids were at or nothing.'
"Leving said a private detective found Beata Adamczyk
living in the south suburbs with her parents and the
children enrolled in a local school.
"The couple had lived together in
Summit before they married, and the girls were
born here, court records show.
"In court, the girls' mother argued that she did not
want to live in
Poland. The girls told a psychologist
they also did not want to go to
Poland and that the schools were dirty
and had broken windows.
"But Cook County Judge Barbara Riley said the girls
started their education in
Poland, were financially supported by
their father even after they were abducted, and their
mother was wrong to take them without his permission.
Riley ordered that the girls be turned over to their
father. A petition by the mother to the Illinois Appellate
Court was unsuccessful.
"Beata Adamczyk said she left
Poland
to offer the girls a better life. She described a marriage
in which her husband controlled the finances and refused
to leave
Poland,
even though they were struggling.
"Leving said future proceedings regarding custody would
have to be handled in
Poland."
I Couldn't Be Less Surprised
Recently I discussed the case of Herbert L. Chalmers,
a St. Louis man who committed a quadruple murder-suicide
(see
St. Louis Man Kills 4, Self Over Child Support Dispute).
According to the article
'If
it was a mistake, it cost the lives of my family'
(St. Louis Post-Dispatch,
4/22/06):
"Did the state make some kind of mistake in calculating
Herbert L. Chalmers' child support, possibly sparking
a rampage that killed four women--including his children's
mother and two members of the family whose business
garnisheed his wages?
"Chalmers made it clear he felt there had been an error,
railing about it for months before Tuesday's bloody
spree. He complained about it to some survivors of the
tragedy before using his last shot on himself...
"Chalmers told his boss, co-workers and at least one
friend that part of his salary was being wrongly withheld.
"'What set him off was the fact that they were garnisheeing
his check,' his co-worker James Lee, 76, said after
the shooting stopped. Lee and another co-worker said
Chalmers denied being the father of the children.
"Records indicate that Chalmers had accepted responsibility
as father on the birth certificates, but reportedly
he claimed later he determined he was not their father...
"The children are now grown, and the child-support issue
involves payments allegedly owed from the past.
"Charlie Finninger, who with his wife owned Finninger's
Catering Service in St. Louis, said Chalmers, a five-year
employee, complained several months ago that the garnishment
was wrong.
"'I told him my hands were tied,' Finninger said. 'I
told him if the state was wrong, then he should fight
it.' Finninger offered Chalmers copies of documents
to help make his case...
"Finninger wondered aloud Friday whether Chalmers had
been right about an error. 'If it was a mistake, it
cost the lives of my family.'
"...[Chalmers said] he couldn't survive on $200 every
two weeks and was going to kill the people who had made
him suffer...
"It appears that Chalmers' withholding for child support
had almost doubled over three years..."
I couldn't be less surprised to report that---brace
yourself--child support enforcement had made an error,
and was charging the guy five times what he actually
owed. According to the News-Tribune:
"A clerical error caused the state to assess a man who
went on a shooting rampage last week five times more
per month in child support than he actually owed, state
officials acknowledged...
"An error in data entry, made when more than 400,000
child support files were converted to a new computer
database in 1998, increased Chalmers' monthly child
support more than fivefold, said Deborah Scott, spokeswoman
for the Missouri Department of Social Services.
"But Scott also stressed that Chalmers had many opportunities
to correct the error since 1998."After Chalmers, 54,
contacted the department once this year about the amount
he owed, an employee tried five times to contact him
without success, she said.
"On April 18, when Chalmers went on his rampage,
the department was garnisheeing 50 percent of his paycheck
- the state's top limit - for back support, Scott said..."In
1997, Chalmers was supposed to be paying $133 per month
in current child support and owed $724.92 in back support.
"Records, including Chalmers' file, were converted
into the Missouri Automated Child Support System in
1998. Scott said the department knew there were some
problems with the conversion, and said workers made
"significant attempts" to ensure accuracy.
"At some point, a worker spotted the $724.92 back
child support figure for Chalmers and entered it as
the amount he was to pay per month for current child
support, Scott said."
The child support system is rife with these types of
mistakes. Common agency errors include: mathematical
errors; failure to record or transfer records of payments;
billing men for children they did not father; failing
to stop child support when a child reaches the age of
emancipation; accepting custodial parents' false reports
of nonpayment; and failure to update child support orders
with later court rulings affecting modifications. And
while the officials quoted in the above article breezily
assert that all Chalmers had to do to straighten it
out was come in and talk, thousands of people on this
e-newsletter list can attest that straightening out
child support errors is vastly more difficult than that,
and sometimes is impossible. As I noted in my co-authored
column
Federal Child Support Enforcement Cuts Will Hurt Bureaucrats,
not Children (Las Vegas Review-Journal, 12/17/05):
"Child support enforcement agencies are notorious
for their abusive tactics towards such men, as well
as their mind-numbing incompetence, waste, and the incessant
computer errors which lead to the persecution of innocent
citizens...For too long child support policies have
been determined by politics instead of common sense;
the mantra of 'help women and children' has allowed
large-scale abuses and waste to go unchallenged."
What Chalmers did was absolutely unforgivable under
any circumstances. However, given the number of these
stories I hear, it's not surprising that once in a while
there's a guy who's going to react this way.
Anti-Father Feminist Trish Wilson Corrects Her
Error
For a decade feminist blogger
Trish Wilson has specialized in tracking and attacking
the fatherhood movement. In the wake of the vote on
the New York shared parenting bill, she and other feminists
have been enjoying some Sacks-bashing, and are attempting
to portray me as a sore loser. Wilson even claimed that
I am "currently instructing fathers' rights activists
to continue to write to the committee members to complain
about not passing this bill."
However, what I actually wrote was "The Assembly
members voting in favor of the bill were Ruben Diaz
Jr., Karim Camara, Michael Benjamin and Vincent Ignizio.
I suggest you send them an email thanking them for their
support by clicking
here." It's in my last newsletter
here, and it still seems like a reasonable idea
to me.
I was disappointed by the error--Trish and her colleagues
spend so much time attacking me that I thought they
were careful and dedicated Glenn Sacks readers. Apparently
not. I wrote to Trish and pointed out the error. She
squawked a little but, to her credit, admitted her error
and wrote the list later to correct it.
Trish Wilson Doth Protest Too Much
I found out about Trish's above claims when one of my
readers forwarded me an email from a feminist group.
(It is common for members of the Sackson Horde to forward
me things of interest from various websites, egroups,
chatrooms, etc.) Trish was very upset about this, and
later wrote the following to the egroup:
"Somehow Glenn Sacks was given an e-mail that I wrote
to this list. I am unsubscribing. This list is no longer
safe. Who sent my message to this list to him? I'm very
disappointed with this list. I won't participate anymore
if my e-mails are being forwarded to fathers' rights
activists...I am going to unsubscribe. I don't feel
safe here."
What's ironic about this is that many years ago Trish
began her anti-father activism by lurking in fathers'
rights egroups and email lists and then posting the
emails on her website. Trish, you really protest
too much...
Trish Wilson Generously Allows That Sometimes Joint
Custody Is OK
Trish is a dedicated opponent of shared parenting and
joint custody. However, in a recent posting on her website
she generously allowed that there are times when joint
custody is OK. Trish writes:
"Joint custody/shared parenting has been shown to
work only under specific circumstances. The characteristics
in families where joint custody/shared parenting has
worked are these: the parents had an amicable divorce,
they had higher-than-average education levels, they
had higher-than-average incomes, they had only one child,
they lived close to each other, they were able to communicate
and work together for their own sake and the sake of
their child, their child could handle the joint custody/shared
parenting schedule, and the parents chose of their own
free will to try joint custody/shared parenting with
the intention of making it work."
This would throw the gate wide open for shared parenting
for all of about 2% of divorcing couples. Thanks, Trish!
Trish also reports:
"Dr. Judith Wallerstein found that in cases where judges
ordered joint custody/shared parenting to force warring
parents to get along, that 'three and one-half years
after separation, these couples were experiencing considerably
more conflict and less co-operative parenting than were
couples for whom joint custody was the first choice
of each parent.'"
This sounds impressive at first reading, but in reality
it is almost meaningless. She doesn't say there's too
much conflict in court ordered joint custody arrangements--she
says there's more than with "couples for whom joint
custody was the first choice of each parent." It is
to be expected that joint custody will be smoother in
couples who both originally opted for it, as opposed
to couples where one parent tried to push the other
parent to the margins of the children's lives but later
had to "settle" for joint custody. It would be far more
meaningful to compare the level of conflict between
joint custody and sole custody settings. In my co-authored
column
A330 Would Help New York's Children of Divorce (Albany
Times-Union, 3/28/06), the ACFC's Mike McCormick
and I noted:
"The New York Chapter of the National Organization for
Women, the New York-based National Coalition for Family
Justice, and other misguided women's advocates oppose
A330 in part because they believe that joint custody
is unworkable when there has been conflict between divorcing
parents. Research indicates that these fears are unwarranted.
"According to a study in the Journal of Divorce
& Remarriage, over time joint custody serves to
help reduce conflict between divorced spouses. When
Texas Woman's University conducted a study of the effects
of post-divorce discord on children aged 8 to 12, they
found that joint custody does not expose children to
greater parental conflict. Psychologist Robert Bauserman's
research (a meta-analysis published in the American
Psychological Association's Journal of Family Psychology)
also found that divorced couples with joint custody
report less conflict than those in sole-custody settings."
The most annoying part of this argument is the contention
by Trish and other feminists that mothers shouldn't
have to be "forced" into joint custody arrangements
with their exes. This presupposes that the kids really
only belong to mom, and courts are unfairly "forcing"
mom to share the kids with dad. Moms and dads should
appear before the court as absolute equals.
If one switches the genders
and looks at families where the father is the primary
caregiver (and thus the one to presumably gain sole
custody), this feminist presumption looks pretty ugly.
I switched the genders in my column
California NOW Takes Stand Against Working Mothers
(Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 2/23/04). Two years
later I still have never heard a reasonable feminist
rejoinder to the argument I laid out in that column.
A Victory in Massachusetts
In 1998, Massachusetts passed a law that forbids all
non-custodial parents from obtaining report cards and
other school records concerning their children unless
they first go to court and obtain certification that
they are not batterers. This law's "all fathers are
guilty until proven innocent" presumption is an outrage.
Last June we reported that Massachusetts father
Henry M. Fassler,
a member of
Fathers
and Families, had discovered that the Massachusetts
law conflicts with federal law and pressed a complaint
at the federal level.
As a result, the U.S. Department
of Education recently sent a warning to Massachusetts
Education Commissioner David P. Driscoll saying "The
commonwealth and every school district in Massachusetts
is in violation of federal law, and has been for years."
The letter also gave Driscoll 30 days to report "on
the steps your agency has taken, or will take, to ensure
that local districts in Massachusetts comply with [federal]
requirements as described in this letter." The issue
was discussed in
State to seek repeal of access law for noncustodial
parents Student record policy at issue (Boston
Globe, 5/22/05).
Last week
Fathers
and Families of Massachusetts reported another victory:
"Governor Romney recently signed the report card
bill into law, formerly known as SB 2206. Now, almost
all non-custodial parents will have the right to receive
a broad range of school records concerning their kids,
including report cards.
"With great tenacity, F&F member Hank Fassler dug
into the old law, and convinced the feds that the Massachusetts
law was inconsistent with federal law. This started
the chain of events culminating in yesterday's success.
Along the way, F&F successfully fought off determined
efforts by domestic violence advocates such as Jane
Doe, Inc. and the Massachusetts Law Reform Institute
to maintain restrictions against a vast swath of non-custodials.
In this, we were helped by the good sense and steadfast
support of Representative Patricia Haddad, Senator Robert
O'Leary, and Senator Robert Antonioni."
As a former high school teacher
I repeatedly saw the value of fathers' participation
in their children's educations. I could teach a class
for a few weeks and then have a pretty good idea which
kids had fathers in their lives and which ones didn't.
I had few discipline problems in my classrooms but when
I did I always knew that there was one truly effective
way to get an errant boy to change his ways--call his
dad at work and explain to him that he needs to leave
work and come to the school to talk to me about his
son's behavior. It was 100% effective.
Congratulations to
Fathers
and Families and Fassler.
|
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
Congressional Candidate Takes Strong Stand for
Noncustodial Parents' Rights
In 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate Michael
Badnarik had a strong noncustodial parents'
rights
platform. Badnarik is clearly aware
of and sensitive to the basic problems fathers
today face, particularly the sole custody norm
and the denigration of noncustodial parents
to "second class parent" status. Badnarik is
running for Congress in 2006--to learn more,
go to www.badnarik.org.
|
Update on Canadian Father on Hunger
Strike
I recently wrote:
"Canadian father Gerry Nicolas is now on his 9th day
of hunger strike in front of the Quebec Provincial Court
of Justice in Gatineau. Nicolas has a six year-old boy
and a four year-old girl. He only gets every other weekend
'visitation,' and says his ex-wife often interferes
or eliminates even that. He says that at one point he
went three months without seeing his children because
of her interference. The police (of course) refuse to
enforce the order.
"Nicolas also says his children are being alienated
from him. Nicolas is black, his ex-wife is Asian,
and Nicolas claims his four year-old daughter told him
her mother told her not to kiss him 'because he's black.'
"Nicolas says he and his ex-wife both earn around
$60 or $65 thousand dollars a year, but that he has
lost his business and his savings and after his wages
are garnisheed he is left with less than $300 a month
to live on. He says he has been unable to get a court
to resolve these issues, and is on hunger strike to
try to force the court to give him a hearing.
"I called Gerry yesterday, and
he seems very sincere and determined. I'm not sure that
a hunger strike is the best tactic--I prefer the bridge
and rooftop protests of
Fathers 4 Justice--but I support him in what he's
doing. To contact Gerry and give him encouragement,
call him on his cell phone at (819) 921-1877. His email,
which his sister is retrieving and printing out for
him, is GeraldNicolas1@yahoo.ca."
Apparently Nicolas' hunger strike has come to a successful
conclusion. According to Canadian activist Jeremy Swanson,
"A personal letter from a Quebec Judge hand-delivered
to Nicolas by a court official confirmed that the family
court had finally granted Nicolas's wish." Nicolas,
who is French Canadian, writes:
"I'm fine, tired, I lost lots of weight
but I'm ok, my hunger strike is now over, because of
heath complications, (I was on a very strict hunger
strike no food, only 2 liters of water a day) after
doctors visit to my tent. I lasted 9 days, in the cold,
the rain, the wind, just in front of the court house.
I receive satisfaction from the head Chief Justice,
and all my revendications [claims] to help dads, in
my Province Quebec are in the hands of the Justice Minister.
"I received support from fathers all
over the world. I receive letters everyday of support
from all of you and all theses words was my food during
the cold and lonely night of hunger. I wish all of you
the best, and like the doctor told, me, you have fight
a great battle and achieving lots of visibility for
all fathers across the country and the world, dying
here will not serve your cause no more, you have to
get well and continue the fight now standing up.
"I will now do just that, continue the
struggle for fathers civil right, by standing and walking
tall. I won a great battle with my sacrifice and help
many people. Thanks to all of you and the fight is not
over until victory is in our hands.
Gerald Nicolas"
|
File Taxes Online with Professional Help
MENstax.com
allows you to file your taxes, check your refund
status, and have your return reviewed by an
experienced tax professional--all online.
Looking for
a Home in the Bay Area?
Realtor
Janet Attard utilizes current and timely
data to effectively sell your present property
and find the perfect home or estate of your
dreams. Janet knows the local real estate market
and can often find you the special property
or estate before it goes on the market. She
specializes in vineyard and estate properties
in Napa, Sonoma, Mendocino and Lake counties.
To learn more, click
here or contact Janet at
janetgraceattard@kw.com.
|
NY Assemblywoman on NY Shared Parenting Bill: Many Letters
in Support, Few Opposed
New York Assemblymember Deborah J. Glick, who opposes
Shared Parenting and who voted against us on A330 last
week, sent a revealing letter to Debbie Ecker of Child
Support Advocates of NYS.
"Thanks so much for your email in opposition to the
so-called Shared Parenting bill. While I have
seen many letters in support of this legislation from
all around the country, my office has received few letters
in opposition. (emphasis added)
"I have been strongly opposed to this bill for the
past 15 years. I don't believe that it is
in the best interest of children to force joint custody
on divorcing parents that can't agree on a custody arrangement.
"For many of the same reasons you raised regarding domestic
violence, I feel that it is better for the children
if an impartial third party decides upon custody issues.
"The bill was on the Children and Families Committee
agenda on Tuesday, April 25, and was held in Committee
by a vote of 12-4. I was pleased to see
that the vote to hold was supported by both Democrat
and Republican alike.
Thank you for your advocacy.
Sincerely,
Deborah J. Glick
Assemblymember"
Putting Kids First
Kirsten Feldman's new Boston
Globe column
Joint custody works, but it's not easy (4/27/06)
is a nice example of a parent putting the children first.
It is also a nice example of how adults comport themselves,
as opposed to what we often see in family court. Feldman
writes:
"A couple of weeks ago I stood on the playground
at my children's school and kissed my daughter goodbye.
All around me other parents were doing the same, sending
their kids off for a last day of school before break.
The only difference was that I wouldn't see or even
speak to my children again for 11 days. They were going
on vacation to Austria with their father and their stepmother;
I was not. I did my best to smile brightly and assure
them how much I loved them and hoped they would have
a good time. Another mother standing next to me began
to cry. She asked me how I could stand it. I left as
quickly as I could.
"My children's father and I separated and then divorced
several years ago, when my son was in kindergarten.
Next year he'll be starting middle school. It seems
like a lifetime ago now that we were married, but somehow
the 11 days also felt like a lifetime. It didn't for
my children, and that is good news. I certainly don't
want them sitting around pining for me and our house
and our life, and to be truthful, I didn't sit around
pining either. Actually, my husband and I went on a
trip of our own, but the rhythm of time without children
is different...
"I certainly think my children have benefited from
joint custody, in our case meaning that they might spend
some nights at their father's house and some nights
at ours in a given week, and we trade off for vacations
and holidays...they have excellent relationships with
everyone involved (and that's a big crowd, I can tell
you).
"Their father and I are amicable, and we have worked
out the intricacies of having bicycles, and homework,
and sports equipment in the right place at the right
time. We attend teacher conferences together. We have
resolved thorny issues involving religion and dentistry
and Christmas dinner. I hope we are setting a good example
for our children of how to relate to someone with whom
you differ."
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
Subscribe to this E-Newsletter
Email this E-Newsletter to a Friend
Missed an E-Newsletter? Find all of Glenn's E-Newsletters
here
GlennSacks.com
/ HisSide.com
To be removed from
our list, send an email to
remove@glennsacks.com with the subject line "Remove."
|
