New Column: Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls Tells an Important Truth About African-American Fathers

My new co-authored column, "Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls Tells an Important Truth About African-American Fathers" (Wilmington Journal & others, 4/6/07), explains how Perry's film illuminates the important but largely ignored barriers our family law system often places between African-American
dads and their children.

The column also discusses new research on the important role African-American noncustodial fathers often play in their children's lives.

Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls Tells an Important Truth About African-American Fathers
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Wilmington Journal & others, 4/6/07

Tyler Perry's new movie Daddy's Little Girls tells an important truth about African-American fathers. The film, which reached number 5 on the Media By Numbers list of top movies, is the story of Monty, a blue collar African-American father played by Idris Elba. Monty fights long and hard in family court to be a father to his three adoring little girls.

Today African-American men are often excoriated--most recently by presidential candidate Barack Obama--for being irresponsible towards their children. Yet we don't hear nearly enough about men like Monty. These dads cherish their kids and, like Monty, often find that the family law system prevents them from playing a meaningful role in their lives.

In the movie, Monty is raising his three girls when his ex-wife, who has drug and personality problems, decides to demand

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"It would be difficult to make California's controversial domestic violence policies more irrational and unfair to men, but Senator Sheila Kuehl (D--Santa Monica) is trying. California law has long excluded men and their children from receiving state-funded DV services, even though research demonstrates that a third of domestic violence-related injuries are incurred by heterosexual males...

"Recently Kuehl and the California Senate Judiciary Committee took the state's DV policies to a new level of absurdity by passing a law to address the issue of domestic violence and...pets!...Were the Senators able to keep a straight face as they voted?"

My new co-authored column, "CA Legislators Vote to Protect Pets from Domestic Violence but Deny Services to Male DV Victims" (Long Beach Press-Telegram, 4/21/07), opposes SB 353, which recently passed the California Senate Judiciary Committee. California law still excludes men and their children from receiving state-funded DV services, even though research demonstrates that a third of domestic violence-related injuries are incurred by heterosexual males.

The column, which I co-authored with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, appears below. The Long Beach Press-Telegram is a 100,000 circulation newspaper in Los Angeles.

CA Legislators Vote to Protect Pets from Domestic Violence but Deny Services to Male DV Victims
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Long Beach Press-Telegram, 4/21/07

It would be difficult to make California's controversial domestic violence policies more irrational and unfair to men, but Senator Sheila Kuehl (D--Santa Monica) is trying. California law has long excluded men and their children from receiving state-funded DV services, even though research demonstrates that a third of domestic violence-related injuries are incurred by heterosexual males.

The legislature reiterated this exclusion last fall by passing AB 2051, which references services for "battered women" 31 times yet never once mentions "male victims," "men," or even simply "victims." While California funds over 100 domestic violence shelters for women, there are only two facilities in the state which even accept male victims, and both of them are in remote areas.

Recently Kuehl and the California Senate Judiciary Committee took the state's DV policies to a new level of absurdity by passing a law to address the issue of domestic violence and...pets!

Kuehl's SB 353 amends Section 6320 of the Family Code so that women claiming domestic abuse can more easily gain custody of the family's pets. The bill also allows women to obtain restraining orders which prevent alleged abusers from having contact with their pets.

While legislators focus on protecting dogs, cats, rabbits and hamsters from being exposed to domestic violence, they've failed to offer any services to men.

To read the rest of the column and discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Hear Dr. J. Michael Bone on Parental Alienation Tomorrow

I am partnering with Parental Alienation expert J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., John Curtis, Ph.D., author of The Business of Love, and Debby Hirschhorn Ph.D., author of The Secret Marriage Killer: Eradicating Verbal and Emotional Abuse, in the new 'Being a Better Dad' Teleseminar series. Today's Teleseminar will feature Dr. Bone, an eminent authority on Parental Alienation who I've often quoted in my newspaper columns. Dr. Bone will be answering these questions:

1. What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and is it for real?

2. What does PAS "look like?"

3. What can the target parent do about it?

4. What are the misinformation and myths that surround the debate about PAS?

5. How do PAS attempts backfire on the parent when the targeted child is not successfully alienated from the absent parent?

6. How can you respond to your children when you see signs of attempts at alienating them from you?

7. What strategies can you use to heal your relationship with your alienated child?

Our 'Being a Better Dad' Teleseminar series is a convenient way for men to learn vital information or gain new skills on being a better dad. Fathers can attend training from the privacy of their own homes via telephone.

A Certificate of Attendance will be awarded to fathers who complete all 4 hours of "Being a Better Dad," and can be used to help show judges, child custody evaluators, mediators, etc., your commitment to co-parenting after divorce or separation, and to being the best dad you can be.

The next Teleseminar is Tuesday May 8 (9 p.m. EDT / 6 p.m. PDT)--to sign up, go to www.beingabetterdad.com.

One of Bone's best pieces is  "Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It," which he co-authored for the Florida Bar Journal in 1999. He wrote:

"The common thread to [Parental Alienation] tactics is that one parent is superior and the other is not and, therefore, should be peripheral to the child's life. The alienating parent in these circumstances is acting inappropriately as a gatekeeper for the child to see the absent parent. When this occurs for periods of substantial time, the child is given the unspoken but clear message that one parent is senior to the other. Younger children are more vulnerable to this message and tend to take it uncritically; however, one can always detect elements of it echoed even into the teenage years."

To read Bone's full article, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org. Parenting Plan Calendar Software Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use software program designed for divorced parents to track their parenting plan schedules over many years. Do-it-yourself or let us build your approved parenting plan into a multi-year calendar so that you can print, share, or modify the calendar later. Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and mediators can generate equitable parenting plans, which is especially useful for parents seeking fair division of their children's time. FREE ASSISTANCE TO OUR CLIENTS- $49.95 one-time charge, FREE TRIAL & MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE. Click here for more information. FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS? Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

It would be hard to name a political figure today with whom I have more disagreements than feminist Mo Therese Hannah, Ph.D., Chair of the Battered Mothers' Custody Conference. I won't belabor our disagreements and clashes now, but the basis of them can be found here. Despite this, I do not and have never wished ill on her or any of our political opponents personally.

Last week Monique Therese Hannah, Hannah's 20 year-old daughter, died. The worst hell for any parent is to lose a child, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I vividly recall something my father told me when I was 18 and had gone away for my freshman year of college. My mother and father received a call at 3 in the morning telling them that my uncle died. My father later told me, "When the phone rang at that hour I knew something terrible had happened, and then your mother began crying. And when I found out that your uncle had died, I was happy--I thought it was you."

The Albany Times Union obituary for Monique Therese Hannah is here. Very, very sad. For what little my sentiments are worth, Ms. Hannah has my condolences.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

There is some controversy over a quote from Linda Fairstein, who once headed the New York County District Attorney's Sex Crimes Unit. The quote is:

"There are about 4,000 reports of rape each year in Manhattan. Of these, about half simply did not happen."

I have used the quote in two of my columns, as one piece of evidence (among many) that false rape accusations are a problem. The columns are Research Shows False Accusations of Rape Common (Los Angeles Daily Journal & others, 9/15/04) and Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men (Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06).

Recently Fairstein has disavowed the quote, saying "I don't believe that and don't know where they got it," and that prosecutors "have to acknowledge that false accusations do happen, though they are less than 10% of reported rapes."

My source for the quote is law professor and legal commentator Alan Dershowitz, who quoted it in several of his newspaper columns and other writings during the mid-90s. (Others have used the quote, too, but I won't speculate on their sources).

It is not at all clear that Fairstein was misquoted--she may very well have said these exact words and forgotten (or preferred to forget) it. However, while she may have said it, because she now disavows the quote it would be misleading for me to continue using it. I have asked my webmaster to delete the quote from wherever it appears on www.glennsacks.com and www.hisside.com.

As to the question of how many rape claims are false, it depends on how you look at the question and what stage of the process (reporting, prosecution, etc.) you're examining. I do not and have not claimed to know the answer. What I have claimed and still do claim is that false claims of rape are common, and that all policies regarding rape must account for this.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

As I've discussed in numerous columns, deployed military parents face a variety of family law-related problems, including custody and child support. In my co-authored Veterans Day column Protect Deployed Parents' Rights (Various papers, 11/11/06) I explained:

"Divorced or separated military parents often lose custody of their children--and sometimes permanently forfeit any meaningful role in their lives--simply because they have served their country. Many married parents deploy overseas, never suspecting that their parenthood essentially ended the day they left home."

Associated Press reporter Pauline Arrillaga wrote an excellent piece on this issue this week--Deployed Troops Battle for Child Custody (5/5/07). Arrillaga narrates the stories of several deployed service personnel who lost their children as a result of family law machinations done in their absence:

"Army reservist Brad Carlson lived in Phoenix with his wife, Bianca, and three kids when he volunteered to deploy to Kuwait in 2003. His wife and children were spending that summer with her parents in Luxembourg and expected to remain there until he returned from duty.

"A year later, after his wife indicated she wanted to end the marriage and remain in Luxembourg, Carlson filed for divorce in an Arizona court, seeking custody of Dirk, Sven and Phoebe, all American citizens.

"The Arizona court dismissed the custody case after Bianca's lawyer argued that jurisdiction belonged in Luxembourg because the children had resided there for at least six months.

"Again citing the Servicemembers Act, Carlson's attorney argued that the time the kids spent in Luxembourg shouldn't count toward residency because it came during Carlson's deployment.

"A Luxembourg court awarded custody to Bianca, and the kids remain there to this day.

"They call him 'Bradley' now, he says, instead of 'Daddy.' They converse in German in stilted long-distance phone calls that provide few precious minutes for a father to absorb missed moments - soccer games, kindergarten, birthdays. On Dirk's 9th, Carlson stood beneath a rainbow-colored birthday banner and had a friend take a digital photo of him holding a sign: 'Happy 9th Birthday Dirk!'

"Tears fill his eyes when it hits him: 'That's how I celebrate.'

"'I feel really betrayed,' Carlson says. 'To be able to send me into harm's way... and my own country can't protect my child custody rights. Why aren't they looking out for me, when I'm looking out for the country?'"

Carlson's story is similar to that of Gary S., the subject of my column The Betrayal of the Military Father (Los Angeles Daily News, 5/4/03). Former California Senator Bill Morrow saw that column, and, with the enormous assistance of Sacramento lobbyist Michael Robinson, it led to AB 1082, a military parents' bill signed into law in California in 2005. Some of you participated in our campaign in support of that bill--to learn more, click here.

In the column I wrote:

"When Gary, a San Diego-based US Navy SEAL, was deployed in Afghanistan in the wake of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, he never dreamed that his service to his country would cost him his little son. Gary's son was not taken from him by a terrorist or a kidnapper. This 17-year Navy veteran with an unblemished military and civilian record was effectively stripped of his right to be a father by a California court."

Arrillaga also discusses the case of Lt. Eva Crouch of the Kentucky National Guard. When she was mobilized, her daughter Sara (pictured above) went to stay with her father. Arrillaga writes:

"A year and a half later, her assignment up, Crouch pulled into her driveway with one thing in mind - bringing home the little girl who shared her smile and blue eyes. She dialed her ex and said she'd be there the next day to pick Sara up, but his response sent her reeling. 'Not without a court order you won't.' Within a month, a judge would decide that Sara should stay with her dad. It was, he said, in 'the best interests of the child.'

"What happened? Crouch was the legal residential caretaker; this was only supposed to be temporary. What had changed? She wasn't a drug addict, or an alcoholic, or an abusive mother.

"Her only misstep, it seems, was answering the call to serve her country.

"Crouch and an unknown number of others among the 140,000-plus single parents in uniform fight a war on two fronts: For the nation they are sworn to defend, and for the children they are losing because of that duty.

"A federal law called the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act is meant to protect them by staying civil court actions and administrative proceedings during military activation. They can't be evicted. Creditors can't seize their property. Civilian health benefits, if suspended during deployment, must be reinstated.

"And yet service members' children can be - and are being - taken from them after they are deployed.

"Some family court judges say that determining what's best for a child in a custody case is simply not comparable to deciding civil property disputes and the like; they have ruled that family law trumps the federal law protecting servicemembers. And so, in many cases when a soldier deploys, the ex-spouse seeks custody, and temporary changes become lasting."

Crouch did eventually get her daughter back--after all, she is a woman in family court--and now the father is only allowed a few days a month with the girl. The better solution would have been shared parenting and a rough 50-50 time split, with one or more parent(s) moving to accommodate the other one. Eva Crouch was treated unfairly, but her case pales in comparison to many others.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Midwest Fathers Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell.  Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Eight states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

The message behind this Dairy Queen commercial is that women always have a reason to be mad at men, and are always justified in wanting their revenge. I'm not even sure how much we should blame Dairy Queen for this ad, since it's really just an accurate reflection of  how some women think.

When my wife was giving birth to our daughter almost nine years ago there were many insulting remarks and bulletin board postings in the hospital similar in spirit to this commercial. (Not to mention some anti-male domestic violence propaganda posters). I was, of course, in an impossible position--my wife needed me, so I wasn't about to start arguing or defending myself against the remarks.

It reminds me of one time when I was in my 20s when a woman I was dating said, "Baldness is God's revenge on men." I asked "revenge for what?" She had no response, but it was an interesting indication of how some women always feel a sense of grievance against men.

To learn more about anti-male advertising, click here, here and here. To see the video click here. And if anyone can figure out what the guy in this Dairy Queen commercial has done wrong, please let me know.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights Online Dating Rights opposes the new federal International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, which requires Americans who seek to meet foreigners via the internet to have a criminal background check and an intrusive report about intimate details of one's life BEFORE any communication--the first time in US history that such checks have been required. www.onlinedatingrights.com SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men Author Tom Ellis unleashes his savage wit on women's studies, gender norming, implants, affirmative action, rape hysteria, pornography, women's spirituality, homophobia, and bad dates. Intended for male readers, women also find it shockingly insightful. Contains adult situations and language. The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything by Thomas Ellis -- $11.95 + shipping from Amazon via direct purchase--click here.

Background: Fox News columnist Wendy McElroy and others have criticized the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA) for being anti-male.

According to McElroy, "The IMBRA requires American men who wish to correspond with foreign women through private for-profit matchmaking agencies to first provide those businesses with their police records and other personal information to be turned over to the women. Corresponding with a foreigner is legal. Marrying a foreigner is legal....Now American men who wish to pursue a legal activity must release their government files to a foreign business and foreign individuals."

A group has formed to protest the anti-male IMBRA--Online Dating Rights (ODR). The ODR criticizes the IMBRA, and notes, "This is the first time in US history criminal background checks have been required for two people to communicate." To learn more, click here and here.

Some American women perceive international dating as weakening American women's position within the marriage market. For example, prominent feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte labels foreign women who marry American men "scabs." She believes that international dating may induce American women to "submit to patriarchy." In other words, international dating undercuts American women's never-ending struggle for equity in their relationships with men by providing men with "scabs"--women who can be substituted for American women who don't submit to male domination.

I don't buy it. There are probably some men who date internationally because they want a genuinely submissive wife. However, I believe most men who date internationally do so because they want to avoid America's divorce epidemic--an epidemic which has not spread to some foreign countries. The vast majority of American divorces are initiated by women, not by men. Is it so wrong that a man might want to protect the stability of the family he wants to create by choosing a woman who he believes will be less likely to initiative a divorce? It seems fair enough to me, particularly for men who have already gone through a divorce.

I'm skeptical that the IMBRA has much to do with a need to protect foreign women from American men--I think American women's advocates don't like men being able to date internationally. My overall view of international dating for men is that I don't recommend it nor do I oppose it. It's their lives, they should be allowed to date whomever they want.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

'Sometimes Boys Are the Best Friends a Girl Could Have' The article Boys can be a royal pain, but they have redeeming qualities (Bergen Record, 5/1/07) by New Jersey high school student Elana Altman has some of the standard, tiresome female view that "girls/women are superior to boys/men," but it has some other interesting points, too. Altman describes some of the terrible emotional abuse some girls and women inflict on one another, and sees men's more straightforward, less manipulative nature as a safe harbor. I've known many, many women who feel this way, and who have suffered terribly at the hands of other girls or women. Unfortunately, their view is not widely aired in the mainstream media and culture, which finds "woman good/man bad" a much safer alternative. Altman writes: "'Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!' is the title of a humor book that seems to ring true to the ears of many high school girls...Of course, high school girls aren't flawless, either. Even though we are more socially and emotionally mature, we come with the whole cattiness, back-stabbing, rumor-spreading sort of thing. "I know I wrote a column earlier saying that girlish cliques are not bad or mean, and I'll stick by it, but just because cliques as a whole are not mean or exclusive does not mean that girls as individuals are not mean, back-stabbing and manipulative. "When things like this happen, it seems as if the title of the book could be changed to 'Girls are stupid, throw rocks at them' and seem just as true. Or, since I am a girl and thus more likely to use girly tactics, 'Girls are stupid, spread rumors about them.' "Boys are usually more straight-up and honest. If they don't like you, they just won't be friends with you; they won't pretend to be your friend and then start whispering about you the second you leave their presence...yes, sometimes I'd like to throw rocks at boys, but sometimes they are the best friends a girl could have. They can give us honest opinions, insider guy advice and fun with much less drama." To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here. The Business of Love 50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years, single households now outnumber married households...if there ever was a time for a radical, new approach to marriage, it's NOW. The Business of Love, by Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development consultant and former marriage counselor, is the first book to show how to take the same "best practices" that build successful businesses and apply them to an intimate relationship. Learn more at www.TheBusinessofLove.org. Help for Michigan Dads Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com Marcotte--Fathers' Movement Helps Men 'Continue to Abuse Women Who Are Trying to Escape Their Abuse' In her recent blog post Bad father, great actor on Alec Baldwin and Parental Alienation, controversial feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte of www.Pandagon.net writes: "Baldwin is living up to the hint of abusive f*** that we gleaned from his phone message to his daughter. He's proceeding to live out the MRA (Men's Rights Advocate) script--passive-aggressively abandoning his job so he can dedicate himself to full-time whining that he doesn't have the subservient wife and children he feels entitled to and blaming his victims ("I'm only an ass*** because my ex-wife made me be one," is the entire theory behind the made-up syndrome "parental alienation syndrome")...Just more evidence of the theory that oppression hurts the oppressors by dehumanizing them--in this case, Baldwin is victimizing himself by being more attached to his sense of male entitlement than he is to his impressive talents as an actor. "What are [the fathers' rights movement's] legitimate issues? That paying child support is unfair unless the recipient is forced to deliver some pussy once a week? That men who beat their wives should have the courts help them continue the abuse after she escapes by enabling non-stop lawsuits? Good luck finding a non-abuser to be its face. Non-abusive men tend to avoid the father's rights activists, because there's nothing the FRAs have for men who aren't eager to find legal ways to continue abuse. "FRAs want to give men more leeway to pursue illegit grievances. I oppose allowing men to make up reasons to sue their ex-wives repeatedly so that they can continue to abuse women who are trying to escape their abuse." I've discussed Marcotte's work on numerous occasions--click here to learn more. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. New DVD set from Dr. Warren Farrell--The Best Interests of the Child In this new DVD set from Dr. Warren Farrell, one of the foremost experts on children of divorce, he summarizes over 200 studies, and finds that the research is clear: children do far better with near equal exposure to both parents with minimal conditions. The video can be submitted as evidence, and Dr. Farrell is available to testify as an expert witness. www.BestInterestofChildren.org Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

...that Ireland Baldwin can't see her father and is sad about it. Of course she can't say that, because mommy would get mad at her.

The story is below. To learn more about the Baldwin-Basinger case, click here or see my co-authored column Baldwin Not the Only Culprit in Custody Battle with Basinger (San Diego Union-Tribune, 4/27/07).

Baldwin Absent, Basinger Pleased by Custody Proceedings
by Natalie Finn
May 4, 2007

She can't really say why, but Kim Basinger is "very, very happy" with the court's decision following the latest chapter in her now-epic custody battle with ex-hubby Alec Baldwin.

That's what the Oscar winner's lawyer, Neal Hersh, had to offer, anyway, after a visitation hearing Friday that the actress attended but her former spouse, purposely looking to avoid the media spotlight, did not.

While Baldwin has been trying to add to his visitation privileges with daughter Ireland for more than a year now, today's closed-door hearing took on new significance in light of the release of the expletive-laced voicemail the actor left for his 11-year-old several weeks ago, a recording that quickly became the hottest thing on the Internet since dueling kitties on YouTube.

After hearing the tape, which Basinger's camp has denied leaking to the press, at an April hearing, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Maren Nelson prohibited Baldwin from seeing Ireland at least until Friday's hearing. She barred the media from inside the courtroom, as well, saying, "This is only about the wellbeing of the child and nothing else."

About 12 members of a parental rights group stood outside the courtroom holding signs in support of Baldwin, who said during an interview on The View last week that he is considering giving up acting in order to pen a book about the trials and legal tribulations of being a divorced dad. He has even asked NBC to let him out of his 30 Rock contract, a move the network would rather not make considering Baldwin is the struggling sitcom's resident scene-stealer.

Nelson said that her goal was to make sure Ireland has "a healthy long-term relationship with both parents," despite each parent's ongoing claims that the other has significant emotional and/or mental issues.

The outcome of Friday's proceedings is currently under wraps, but Basinger's camp was all metaphorical smiles after court adjourned.

"Kim is very, very happy with the judge's decision and fully supports it," Hersh said outside the courtroom.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Cynthia Joyce Tureman's husband, that's who.

According to Police: Arizona Woman Drowned Her Newborn to Hide Pregnancy From Husband (Associated Press, 5/2/07):

"A Scottsdale mother accused of holding her newborn under water until the girl stopped moving says she didn't know she was pregnant until just before giving birth, according to court records.

"A police report filed in Maricopa County Superior Court shows that Cynthia Joyce Tureman, 28, told Scottsdale police she was trying to hide her pregnancy from her husband, who had a vasectomy five years ago.

"The report says Tureman wrapped the baby in a plastic bag, stowed it in the trunk of her car and took her other three children with her to drop the newborn in a trash bin at a gas station.

"Tureman told Scottsdale police that she gave birth in a bathtub filled with a foot of water in the master bathroom of her Scottsdale home, according to the report.

"Tureman was booked Friday on suspicion of first-degree murder. She was jailed without bond in a Maricopa County detention center."

This is the story we get now. When we get closer to her trial the story will be more like this:

"A desperate Scottsdale mother trapped in an abusive relationship was compelled to kill her baby in order to hide the child from the rage of her abuser. Cynthia Joyce Tureman, a battered mother, had fallen in love with another man and was trying to leave her abusive husband when she became pregnant by the other man."

Tureman will also probably get the standard kid gloves treatment the criminal justice system reserves for women. I discussed said treatment in my co-authored columns Scott Peterson in a Space Suit (Philadelphia Daily News, 2/26/07) and Suppose Roles Had Been Reversed in Clara Harris Case (Houston Chronicle, 1/27/07).

Also, see my blog posts Lisa Nowak, Clara Harris, Terry Barton, and an Incredible Omission and When a Woman Commits a Crime Against a Man, Make Excuses for Her and Undercharge Her.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Israel has many virtues, but somehow I doubt that "sexy" and "fun" are the first adjectives one normally uses to describe the country. Nevertheless, Maxim magazine is running a special Israel edition to convince young American men that Israel is the place to go if you're looking for a "sexy, fun and vibrant place."

According to Babes and Bikinis: Israel Plans to Revamp Its Image (ABC News, 4/28/07):

"All countries carry a certain stereotype: Some associate pasta and emotion with Italy, the queen and bad weather with Britain, flashing lights and high-speed trains with Japan, and conflict and religion with Israel.

"Israeli officials at the consulate in New York have decided to try to rebrand the negative image associated with their country and have approached Maxim, dubbed America's most-popular men's magazine, to launch a public relations campaign to help them.

"The aim of the project is to change Israel's image from a country associated with constant conflict to a different, sexy, fun and vibrant place.

"The project began six months ago when Israeli officials in the United States discovered (through market research) that men between the ages of 18 and 35 were uninterested in Israel, and considered the country 'irrelevant.'

"Maxim is going to run a special Israel edition this July that will promote the country to its 2.5 million readership, and the magazine hopes it will revamp Israel's image in the eyes of young American men.

"A team from the magazine arrived in the beach town of Tel Aviv, Israel's tourism capital, this March for a five-day photo shoot. Top Israeli female models were hired to market Tel Aviv as a modern, vivid and 'sexy city' -- a fun tourist destination. The young girls were photographed frolicking and posing in their bikinis on Tel Aviv beach.

"'The aim of the campaign is to show the different faces of Israel,' David Saranga, from the media and public affairs department at the Israeli consulate in New York, told ABC News. 'The international media tends to concentrate on one dimension alone -- the [Israeli-Palestinian] conflict. We hope we can broaden people's view.'

"Saranga said Maxim is an excellent platform for delivering this message and will target the audience it is hoping to convert -- young men."

I wish the Israelis luck--they'll need it. I'm no longer (sigh) in the 18 to 35 demographic they target, but I'm not that far away from it, either, and my entire life, including memories from elementary school, whenever I've heard of Israel, it's always been nothing but endless violence and strife. I can still remember my mother explaining the 1973 Arab-Israeli War. The TV showed a listing of the claims of both sides during the War, and each side (Egypt & Israel) claimed to be controlling the sky, the sea, the land battles, etc., and I remember asking my mother how this could be.

Now 34 years later, it still doesn't seem all that different. The recent Onion piece Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc. pretty much says it all for me. Turning that image around would require a hell of a PR job.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

"In the summer of 2003 I was riding the subway home [when]...I witnessed a woman being slashed. This guy...slashed her across her face as she sat there, and ran off the train...I chased him and...held him until the police arrived, getting cut on my wrist, he had a knife in each hand...I was awarded by Police Commissioner Ray Kelly and was awarded the NY Post Liberty Medal for Courage [and] was...on the John Walsh Show. But all this really meant nothing to me, it was my daughter that I held most important."--Anthony Gallo

"What you will not read in the newspapers is that for the last six years I have been fighting through the family court system to be part of my daughter's life. The discrimination, incompetence, and ignorance is just unacceptable. I have done everything asked of me. Child Protective Services did six investigations of the accusations against me, yet still my daughter has been kept from me.

"I am on my sixth Judge. I have attended Parenting Classes, Single Fathers Classes, Drug Tests, Therapists, Forensic investigations, and so much more. I waited in a room downtown Manhattan every week, for months, hoping to see my daughter, and did not, even with a court order.

"In the summer of 2003 I was riding the subway home from installing an alarm system (I do this for a living in Manhattan) riding the Q train at Atlantic Ave I witnessed a woman being slashed. This guy walked up to this woman that was dressed as a nurse and just slashed her across her face as she sat there, and ran off the train. I immediately reacted just making it off the train myself before the doors closed. I chased him and was able to restrain him, and held him until the police arrived, getting cut on my wrist, he had a knife in each hand.

"I was awarded by Police Commissioner Ray Kelly and was awarded the NY Post Liberty Medal for Courage 2003, and was even a guest on the John Walsh Show. But all this really meant nothing to me, it was my daughter that I held most important. I have tried to contact many people about my case and all its faults. I like to call them 'Red Flags' that make people aware of abuse, against the system. The courts have been doing this for a long time yet, they still can't get it right, because most of them are 'Pay Check Workers' and are not there for the 'Best Interests Of The Children.'

"So with all this attention I received for my 'heroism,' I just thought someone would look into the false allegations that were keeping my daughter and I apart. But no one seemed to care for me once my story broke out. Not the Mayor, who once shook my hand and said 'Good Job Mr. Gallo,' not even my own city councilman.

"One morning I decided to return the awards, back to the city that I love so much."

To read more and discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Background: My feelings about gay parenting are as follows: I believe that, as individuals, gay men and women are just as loving and capable as parents as heterosexual men and women are. I believe it is better for children to be raised by both a mother and father than by two mothers or two fathers because children benefit from both male parenting and female parenting styles.

In cases where lesbian couples used a sperm donor to become parents as part of their civil union or mutual agreement, I support, should there be a split, the right of the lesbian social or nonbiological mom to shared parenting, a position I've discussed on several occasions.

I oppose attempts to portray gay parents as being lesser, and I also oppose attempts to portray heterosexual parents as being lesser. My column Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Parents Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily, 9/10/05) discusses one example of the latter.

Sociology professor Brad Wilcox has an interesting blog post on www.familyscholars.org which discusses the Psychology Today article Queer IQ: The Gay Couple's Advantage, which purports to show that gay and lesbian couples have better and more stable relationships than heterosexuals:

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY GETS IT WRONG; GAYS MORE LIKELY TO BREAK UP

Psychology Today recently ran a story claiming that gay and lesbian couples had better and more stable relationships. Listen in: Most lesbians don't fear rapacious women and gay men need not always soft-peddle their sexual predilections. On balance, gays and lesbians understand their partners' bodies and biases with a certainty that many a clueless "breeder" yearns for. "Homosexuality could be viewed in some respects as the triumph of the individual's mating intelligence over the gonads' evolutionary interests," argues Geoffrey Miller.

The result is that gay relationships are less mired in deception and perhaps even less prone to friction, according to multiple studies....

Gay and lesbian couples are not only more honest with one another, they are also more likely to exhibit affection and humor in negotiating relationship stressors, according to John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington. Gottman compared conflict discussions in gay and straight couples and found that "gays and lesbians talked explicitly about sex and monogamy. Those topics don't come up in 31 years of studying heterosexual couples, who are uptight in discussing sex. In their conversations, you really don't know what they're talking about."

Whether a same-sex edge to mating intelligence makes for longer unions is unclear. Among the couples Gottman studied, the projected break-up rate for homosexuals, over a four-decade span, is a grim 64 percent (gay men are far more likely to split than are lesbians). The 40-year divorce rate for straight couples in first marriages is 67 percent. To amend George Burns: If you wait long enough, every couple wants different things.

One problem with this story is that the best, most recent studies indicate that same-sex couples--especially lesbians--are more likely to break up. For instance, a study published in Demography found markedly higher breakup rates among same-sex couples--50% higher for gay couples and 167% higher for lesbian couples. And a UCLA study released last month on American couples comes up with similar findings for gay and lesbian couples here in the United States.

Furthermore, Gottman's divorce statistics are overdone. The Census is now estimating that less than 50% of Americans who marry will divorce.--Brad Wilcox

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Occasionally the National Organization for Women feels that the friendly mainstream media isn't being sufficiently compliant. This is one of those times, as NOW has put out a scolding press release called National Organization for Women Admonishes Media for Giving Alec Baldwin a Platform for Misinformed Theories.

The release rehashes much of the standard, weak feminist argument in denial of Parental Alienation, calling it a "discredited legal theory that could harm many women and children."

As I've noted on numerous occasions, NOW plays a reactionary role in family law. In my co-authored column  NOW at 40: Group's Opposition to Shared Parenting Contradicts Its Goal of Gender Equality (New York Daily News, 7/27/06) I wrote:

"...in family law and child custody -- NOW's policies and actions contradict its ideals of 'full equality for all'...NOW and its co-thinkers, to their credit, once encouraged fathers, fathering and shared parenting. In 1971 Gloria Steinem wrote that children suffer from having 'too little father' in their lives, and that a more equal balance of parenting was needed. Karen DeCrow, president of NOW from 1974 to 1977, says 'it was clear from the feminist writings and ideas of the '60s and '70s that joint custody was what we supported after a divorce.'

"Fathers have embraced the call for more father involvement. Despite an ever-expanding work week, children today benefit from receiving more hands-on fathering than ever before. The Families and Work Institute found that fathers now provide three-fourths as much child care as mothers do -- 50 percent more than 30 years ago.

"Paradoxically, while fathers are more directly involved in their children's lives than ever, their bonds with their children are also more fragile. In the late 1970s NOW reversed itself and began promoting sole custody in divorce cases. In most divorces mothers are awarded sole (or de facto sole) custody of the children, and most post-divorce parenting time schedules offer fathers and children less than 20 percent physical time together.

"Men who don't provide for their families are not respected, yet family courts treat fathers who have worked hard to support their families like absent parents whose bonds with their children merit limited consideration. DeCrow rightly denounces this practice as 'sexist' and 'inhuman.'

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.