An Important Win--Bill to Deprive Noncustodial Parents of Access to Their Kids' School Records Pulled off Floor of CA. Assembly

Policy consultant Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children reports that AB 164, a bill which would have denied thousands of California noncustodial parents the right to receive their children's school records, has been pulled off the floor of the California Assembly.

The bill, which passed the Assembly Judiciary committee by a 9-1 vote in April, was recently amended so that any parent who does not have joint physical or joint legal custody of his or her children would be denied access to the children's school records, unless he or she is able to obtain a court order specifically allowing them to have these records.

Even worse, the change would be retroactive, stripping tens of thousands of divorced or separated noncustodial parents of a right they currently have.

The bill would also have prevented many deployed military parents from monitoring their children's academic lives. According to Robinson:

"Deployed military parents often cede sole custody to the civilian spouse so that the civilian spouse has the ability to make decisions affecting their children in a timely manner. AB 164 would've cut them off at the knees."

Robinson successfully lobbied legislators and helped organize opposition to the bill. As I've noted on many occasions over the past several years, Robinson and the CAFC are doing excellent work in Sacramento to protect the bonds between children and their noncustodial parents. To donate to the CAFC, click here.
 

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Well, not exactly "new," but never before seen by the public.

In 2001 Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson wrote Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture. While reading about Katherine's and Paul's participation in the upcoming Third National Men's Equality Congress July 13-14 in Washington D.C., I was reminded of a review I wrote of the book.

I wrote the review five years ago, a major paper purchased the piece but never ran it, and it has been sitting on my computer ever since. With the Men's Equality Congress coming up, it seems like a good time to release the piece as Sacks Media Group Content. The piece is obviously rather dated, but the essence of the book still comes through, and many of the ills they pointed to 5+ years ago are, unfortunately, still with us.

Poisoning Our Culture Against Men

By Glenn Sacks

Finally someone has studied and written a book about a phenomenon which nobody speaks of but which is evident to any thinking American--our popular culture continually belittles and demonizes men. Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture by Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson is a painstaking expose of how men are portrayed negatively in movies and television.

Young and Nathanson break down the depiction of men in modern TV and movies into several categories, including "Laughing at Men," "Bypassing Men," "Blaming Men," "Dehumanizing Men," and "Demonizing Men." Shows like Home Improvement and Men Behaving Badly, for example, laugh at the main male characters and almost always portray them as being wrong and the women in their lives as almost always being right.

These shows and others, such as The Simpsons and The Golden Girls, display several of the common misandrist themes Young and Nathanson's studies have found. Men are coarse and inferior but they can improve in spite of themselves--by accepting the advice and teaching of women, who are intrinsically wise and civilized. Men can be worthwhile and lovable, but only despite their masculinity and never because of it. Women can mock men and men can mock men but it is generally unacceptable for anyone, male or female, to mock women. When women make misandrist remarks, the audience is to laugh along with them, but when men make misogynistic remarks, the audience is to laugh at them. Women can scrutinize and criticize a man's behavior, but men cannot scrutinize and criticize a woman's behavior.   

Some shows and movies, such as Murphy Brown,  Waiting to Exhale, and How to Make an American Quilt, portray most men as useless, and encourage women to simply bypass them. Others, such as The Handmaid's Tale and The Long Walk Home, blame men for social ills. The Long Walk Home, for example, is based upon the modern, utterly fanciful notion that it was only Southern white men, not Southern white women, who were racist against blacks and sought to "keep them in their place."

Still others, such as Sleeping With the Enemy, A Kiss Before Dying, and Deceived, dehumanize and/or demonize men. In Deceived, the main female character, Adrienne, falls in love with and marries Jack, a seemingly loving and caring man. After five years of happy marriage, which includes the birth of a daughter, Adrienne discovers that Jack secretly is a murderer and a criminal. In the end, she narrowly escapes with her life. The lesson is a common one--no matter how good even the best of men may seem to be, women are never safe, and men can never be trusted.

Young and Nathanson note that many modern versions of older films or folktales have altered the original plot in order to portray men negatively and women positively. In Disney's Beauty and the Beast, for example, Beauty's three evil sisters have been eliminated, an obnoxious male chauvinist (Gaston) has been invented, and the Beast has been turned from a kind, undeserving victim into a selfish and deservedly punished cad who can only be redeemed through a woman's love.

In the modern remake of Cape Fear, Sam, a decent, loving husband and father in the original version (1962), is transformed into a philandering coward and a possible child molester. At the end of the new version, Sam is not united with his wife and his daughter--the two women are united and Sam is despised by both of them. This is another common theme--men can depend on women, but women can and should only depend on each other.

To further illustrate television misandry, the authors randomly selected and examined various weeks of TV Guide blurbs. During the week of January 9-15, 1999, for example, the blurbs alone indicate that viewers can expect to see a man kill his wife (twice), rape a woman, murder a child, stalk a woman (twice), murder or attempt to murder a woman (six times), discriminate against a woman, beat his wife,  and murder his classmate.

Women's advocates once taught American society the valuable lesson that the stereotypes of women that we see in television and movies will, in one form or another, be translated into our larger culture, and thus it is important that women be portrayed fairly.  Unfortunately, many of them (and many of the women and men who were influenced by them) forgot their own lesson when it came to negative portrayals of men in popular culture. Young and Nathanson express hope that the many men and women who are distressed by the cultural belittling men endure can help jar our society's memory--and its conscience.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org. Parenting Plan Calendar Software Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use software program designed for divorced parents to track their parenting plan schedules over many years. Do-it-yourself or let us build your approved parenting plan into a multi-year calendar so that you can print, share, or modify the calendar later. Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and mediators can generate equitable parenting plans, which is especially useful for parents seeking fair division of their children's time. FREE ASSISTANCE TO OUR CLIENTS- $49.95 one-time charge, FREE TRIAL & MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE. Click here for more information. FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS? Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

From www.AChildsRight.net:

"On August 11th 2007 Robert Pedersen and Rob Mackenzie will start their 600+ mile bicycle trek from the Lansing Capitol to Washington, D.C. This will be an intense multi-day bike trek through numerous states ending in Washington, D.C., where they will be greeted by thousands of people attending the national rally in Washington, D.C. on August the 18th.

"The two fathers are making this trip to support shared parenting and protect a child's right to equal time with both fit parents! Many elected officials and supporters will see the riders off at the Lansing Capitol, and thousands will greet them in Washington, D.C. at the shared parenting rally there."

To learn more about the bike trip, click here.

To learn more about the Washington DC Rally, go to www.dcrally2007.com.

Shared Parenting is a controversial issue in Michigan right now--to learn more, see Michigan NOW Fights New Shared Parenting Bill.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Background: In my April column "Texas bill to create domestic violence offender registry will harm innocent men" (Austin American-Statesman, 4/11/07), I explained that Texas HB 3958 will ensnare and punish many innocent men. This is in part because of the problems with the way Texas law enforcement and the judicial system handle domestic violence. The bill was passed the Corrections Committee of the Texas House by a unanimous vote in early May.

According to Andrea Haughton, Legislative Aide to Representative Gary Elkins, "HB 3958 died." The deadline for house bills to be considered in second reading on the floor passed without the bill being considered.

I'm not sure what factors led to the bill's demise but will update you if I learn more. My column on the bill is reprinted below.

Texas bill to create domestic violence offender registry will harm innocent
men
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks
Austin American-Statesman, 4/11/07

House Bill 3958, sponsored by Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-San Antonio), will set up a domestic violence offender registry similar to the Texas Sex Offender Registry. Castro is correct to identify domestic violence as an important issue; however, there are serious problems with the way law enforcement and the judicial system handle domestic violence. These problems will cause many innocent men to be ensnared by this bill.

HB 3958 would set up a central database containing information on anyone who has been convicted or "received a grant of deferred adjudication" for a family violence offense on three occasions. The three conviction requirement is defensible, but the inclusion of deferred adjudications -- which are analogous to plea bargains -- is a major problem.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Midwest Fathers Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell.  Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Eight states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

Women getting revenge against men for the allegedly endless miseries men have caused them is a common theme in TV advertising. The Krystal Restaurant Ad "Emotional Devastation" is another example, complete with boyfriend bound and gagged and locked in a trunk as "revenge" for his misdeeds.

Watch the commercial here.

Thanks to Oscar for pointing out the ad to me.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights Online Dating Rights opposes the new federal International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, which requires Americans who seek to meet foreigners via the internet to have a criminal background check and an intrusive report about intimate details of one's life BEFORE any communication--the first time in US history that such checks have been required. www.onlinedatingrights.com SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com Experience the Book that Dares to Scream the Inner Thoughts of Men Author Tom Ellis unleashes his savage wit on women's studies, gender norming, implants, affirmative action, rape hysteria, pornography, women's spirituality, homophobia, and bad dates. Intended for male readers, women also find it shockingly insightful. Contains adult situations and language. The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything by Thomas Ellis -- $11.95 + shipping from Amazon via direct purchase--click here.

Background: I've made the point many times that many "deadbeat dads" aren't "deadbeats" voluntarily--they've been turned into deadbeats by the system. To learn more, see my co-authored column When Beating up on 'Deadbeat Dads' is Unfair (Houston Chronicle, 1/7/07).

According to the Ohio WKYC News story System Overload: Father pays child support, still jailed (5/15/07), Derrick Adams is a "deadbeat dad" who has been arrested multiple times, even though he is making child support payments. At first he was making $3,750 and the state was taking over half of it in child support. Then he took a 40% pay cut at his job, and is now paying two-thirds of his income in child support.

Adams is a "deadbeat" but I can't figure out anything he's actually done that was wrong. Reporter Eric Mansfield did a good job with the piece--he can be reached at ericmansfield@wkyc.com.

System Overload: Father pays child support, still jailed

Every day, the state of Ohio processes more than 50,000 child support payments. Has that volume led to unfair treatment of parents who are paying?

Derrick Adams is a deadbeat dad. Or so says the State of Ohio. Deputies arrested him not once, but twice, even though the father of three boys is making child support payments. At the time of his divorce, Derrick's monthly child support payment was $2,000. But last year, Derrick hit hard times, taking a forty percent pay cut at his job with a Cleveland bank.

At Derrick's new pay level, the state could only garnish $1,500 a month. Leaving him just $750 to live on.

Derrick says, because he couldn't pay the full amount he was labeled a deadbeat, thrown in jail and his drivers license was suspended. "It's been tough but I've been trying to work through it. Of course when they take your license away from you, it's hard to work when most of your time is in the car traveling from customer to customer."

To read more and to discuss the issue on my blog, click here.

'It doesn't take much'--A judge's response when asked what it takes to convict someone of child molestation An interesting article by attorney Paul Stuckle concerning false allegations of molestation. Stuckle does good work in Texas defending those falsely accused of domestic violence or child sexual assault, or who have been targeted by Child Protective Services. In the article below, Stuckle details how innocent men can live a nightmare when accused of child sexual abuse. Paul can be reached at falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com. False Allegations of Child Sexual Assault By Paul Suckle, Esq. March 12, 2007 "It doesn't take much." (A Judge's response when asked what it takes to convict someone of child molestation.) Nothing incites the fury and anger of any community like the discovery of a reported child molester in the neighborhood. Unfortunately no charge is easier to make against an innocent person and more difficult to disprove. The word of a child, whether mistaken, coached, or the result of a deliberate lie, is all that it takes to ruin lives. False allegations of child sexual assault can be easily made. False Allegations arise under a multitude of circumstances from children of any age and in every socioeconomic group. Sometimes allegations are made by children with a goal of removing a family member from the home. Sometimes a false allegation is made by a young child who does not understand the gravity and consequences of their words. Often questionable remarks by children are misinterpreted by frantic family members and evolve into allegations by over zealous social workers. False Allegations are often made by emotionally disturbed adolescents with a specific agenda to hurt someone. Spouses, and former spouses may also use a false allegation in a divorce or custody battle to seek legal leverage. TYPICAL WRONG REACTIONS OF THE FALSELY ACCUSED-"I'm innocent. This is crazy. If I talk to them and explain it will go away." This is the initial feeling of the wrongfully accused. They have done nothing wrong and therefore there should be no adverse consequences. Those in authority will quickly recognize their innocence, the mistake, the overreaction, and it will all go away. THE SPECIAL NATURE OF CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT-Public hysteria regarding child molestation has changed the rules of the criminal justice system. Child physical and sexual abuse cases must be defended in an entirely different manner than the normal criminal case. In theory the constitutional rights of the defendant are still in place, however in reality those rights do not apply. The truth is: The accused is presumed to be guilty. TIPS FOR FIGHTING FALSE ALLEGATIONS- Recognize you are in for the fight of your life SELECTING THE RIGHT ATTORNEY-Very few attorneys specialize in fighting false allegations. Many lawyers represent clients with child abuse and child sexual assault charges. These lawyers will handle such cases in addition to a general criminal defense practice. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. The Business of Love 50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years, single households now outnumber married households...if there ever was a time for a radical, new approach to marriage, it's NOW. The Business of Love, by Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development consultant and former marriage counselor, is the first book to show how to take the same "best practices" that build successful businesses and apply them to an intimate relationship. Learn more at www.TheBusinessofLove.org. Help for Michigan Dads Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com Sony TV Ad: Are Dads 'Horses Asses'? I've received dozens of letters from readers regarding Sony Electronics' new ad "Horse" which portrays a father as, well, a horse. A horse's ass, to be specific. To watch the commercial, click here. Adweek wrote an article about the commercial here. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.   New DVD set from Dr. Warren Farrell--The Best Interests of the Child In this new DVD set from Dr. Warren Farrell, one of the foremost experts on children of divorce, he summarizes over 200 studies, and finds that the research is clear: children do far better with near equal exposure to both parents with minimal conditions. The video can be submitted as evidence, and Dr. Farrell is available to testify as an expert witness. www.BestInterestofChildren.org Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

It's not often that I agree with feminist attorney Gloria Allred. I've debated her on the radio and TV on several occasions, and never was able to convince her of much of anything. I recall after one hour long debate I said, "So Gloria, is there anything you and I agree on?" and she said, "Still lookin'."

I'm happy to report, however, that Gloria nailed it last week on the issue of women-only hotel floors. On the Today Show Gloria said:

"It is discrimination. You are excluding men from the lounge. Are we going to have male-only lounges as we used to have? No. What we want are equal rights. Not more rights, not less rights, but equal rights...[a woman-only hotel floor] goes back to stereotyping of men: Men as sexual predators, women as fragile, needing to be protected. We don't need to go back to the '50s where we had this kind of stereotyping."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Photographic artist Stephen Shames has put together an excellent collection of fatherhood pictures for George Soros' Open Society Institute. According to Shames:

"Low-income dads are largely absent from public policy discussions. The government, when it intervenes at all, directs its programmatic and financial support toward mothers. When men are discussed, they are often portrayed negatively--as deadbeat dads, for example--while positive programs that assist struggling, low-income dads are rarely mentioned. Society will throw men in jail for not paying child support before helping them acquire a job or the parenting skills that would enable them to provide for their children.

"But many men yearn to be closer to their children, and fathering programs help them achieve this goal by teaching parenting and job-related skills and connecting them with their families and community. Even men society might consider beyond redemption--those who belong to gangs or who have a record of abuse--can become responsible fathers with the support of parenting programs...The images in this exhibition record the success of these programs in bringing fathers and children together, while strengthening families and communities."

In the photo, Steve Dycus shares an ice-cream bar with his son Dashawn. To learn more about Shames' photo series, click here and here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Since studies have repeatedly shown that men do just as much work for their households as women do, I assume we'll be seeing cartoons like this Mother's Day cartoon for Father's Day, too, right? Complete with an overworked, exhausted father. But somehow I doubt it...

The cartoon is from Stuart Carlson of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

A letter from a reader who was the target of his ex-wife's Parental Alienation campaign:

"After I was divorced from my son's mother, she would constantly use him as a pawn. I remember two instances in particular.

"I was injured on the job once, and as part of the settlement I came into a modest sum of money, which I used to buy my son's Christmas gifts one year, as well as purchase a (non-refundable) trip to Disney World. When I told my son of this, he was ecstatic, and I'm told he let everyone he knew know we were going.

"On the day I went to pick him up for our trip, he suddenly didn't want to go, and with him being about 10 years old, I thought maybe he felt he was too old for such a trip, and so cancelled the trip (again non-refundable).

"After Christmas, and before the new year, I called and asked my son if he was enjoying the new toys I bought him, and to my shock and amazement, found out his mother had sold them because, 'We don't have room.' Of course he didn't receive the pennies on a dollar she got for them. I was very upset by this, but knew there was little I could do about it, so again, I let the subject drop.

"Early after the new year his mother was remarried (and divorced within the year), and in the spring they took my son to Disney World. Upon his return my son was enthusiastically retelling the trip when I asked him why he didn't go with me.

"To this day I can still hear the words, 'Because mom said you were going to take me there to kill me.' Just like that, matter of fact, no emotion.

"Fortunately he and I are great friends now, and he often shares tales of how his mother is such a this or that, which I have to, ironically, try to explain away. This is just the tip of the iceberg of how this woman has acted since our divorce, I could tell you many similar tales."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

As part of the discussion for my blog entry Do Gay Couples Have Better and More Stable Relationships than Straight Couples?, reader Tim O'Brien asks an interesting question:

"In a same-sex relationship with two women, when they have an argument, how do they tell who's wrong?"

It reminds me of one of my favorite rhetorical questions, occasionally seen on T-shirts and memorabilia:

"If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is it still wrong?"

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

My friend Paul Stuckle says, "Our prisons are full of innocent persons," and stories like this make me believe it. From Reuters:

"HARTFORD, Connecticut (Reuters) - A man jailed for 18 years for a rape he did not commit was paid $5 million in compensation by the state of Connecticut.

"James Tillman, now 45, was arrested in 1988 and sentenced to 45 years in prison a year later. He was exonerated in 2006 and released after a DNA test proved his innocence.

"'No amount of money we give Mr. Tillman will erase this miscarriage of justice,' Connecticut House of Representatives Speaker James Amann, a Democrat, said before lawmakers voted unanimously late on Wednesday to give him $5 million.

"'We can, however, contribute to his healing, and help Mr. Tillman move on with his life,' Amann said.

"The case had racial overtones. The victim, who is white, identified Tillman, who is black, from a police line-up. Police never caught the real rapist.

"Connecticut Gov. Jodi Rell, a Republican, has publicly apologized to Tillman on behalf of the state but previously offered him a much smaller $500,000 payment. She said she supports the legislature's $5 million figure.

"In exchange for the settlement, Tillman agreed not to sue the state and police for other claims, including medical malpractice due to a botched prison surgery that permanently damaged his right leg."

Read the full article here. Chalk another good deed up to the Innocence Project, who worked on his case and helped exonerate him.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free weekly co-parenting classes, individual mentoring for fathers and much more. www.divorcedfathers.com

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