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Fox Bad Dads Campaign Update; Father Jailed Because His Adult Daughter Fails to Get Her GED

May 13, 2008

 

Fox's Bad Dads Campaign Update

Two weeks ago we launched a campaign against Fox's proposed reality show Bad Dads. Bad Dads unfairly depicts divorced fathers as uncaring and selfish, and publicly humiliates children of broken families by depicting their fathers as not loving or caring for them.

Fox has received over 5,000 calls, letters, and faxes from our supporters, and our protest garnered coverage in over 300 newspapers. Nearly a hundred educators, mental health experts, and family law professionals publicly condemned Fox's Bad Dads and endorsed our campaign. We also drew support from advocates for low income families.

As Kathleen Parker noted in her syndicated column, this campaign was an early, preemptive strike. The pilot has not been made yet, and all that has been contracted is a 10 minute promo for a pilot. We now have good reason to believe that we will never see Bad Dads aired.

Given the large response and media coverage, we have made our point to Fox, and have decided to suspend the campaign against Bad Dads. We will continue to monitor the situation, and if in the future we have good reason to believe that Fox will be going ahead with the show, we will renew our efforts. The campaign web page will remain up, as will all relevant information concerning the campaign.

Thanks to all of you who participated in what we believe has been a successful campaign.
 

Reach Millions of 
Readers Every Year
Are you looking for an affordable way to reach  millions of readers a year with your business or organization? My blog and my websites GlennSacks.com and HisSide.com receive over a million page views a month. My weekly E-Newsletter has over 55,000 subscribers, and is by far the world's largest regularly distributed E-newsletter devoted to family law reform, fatherhood and fathers' issues. Contact us for more information.

Sincerely,

Dr. Ned Holstein, president of Fathers & Families
Dr. Linda Nielsen, president of the American Coalition for Fathers & Children
Glenn Sacks, newspaper columnist/radio host, www.GlennSacks.com

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.


Important, Accomplished Pro-Fatherhood Candidate Needs Your Support

One of the unsung heroes of the struggle for fairness in family law is former California Assemblyman Rod Wright (pictured). Wright is currently in an election battle to get back into the California Senate, and if he wins it will be a big step towards family law reform in California and the nation.

Rod was a pioneer of child support and family law reform in California and the nation. In speaking about his time introducing reforms into a hostile California legislature, Rod describes himself and his staff as "The first guys who hit the beach at Normandy--taking all the hits." It was absolutely true.

Rod was one of the pioneers of paternity fraud laws, and in 2002 got AB 2240 through the California legislature. It was subsequently vetoed by then-Governor Gray Davis (see my co-authored column Preserving Paternity Fraud, Orange County Register, 10/3/02), but it helped pave the way for the eventual passage of AB 252 in 2004.

Rod is looking for volunteers to make phone calls in support of his June 3 election campaign, and is also looking for donations. If you are interested in volunteering to help Rod Wright, click here. If you are interested in donating, click here.

Sacramento veteran Stan Diorio served as Wright's Chief of Staff from 1996 to 2002 and has been pivotal in many of the achievements in family law in California.  Below is a brief history he wrote about Rod Wright's contributions.

Rod Wright Led the Fight for Men’s Equality in Family Law

During his term as a member of the California State Assembly (1996-2002) Rod Wright was the only member who stood up and wrote legislation year after year to fight for men’s equality in the family law arena. With no organized men’s organization in the state to help him, Rod fought for a whole range of issues including greater fairness in child support orders, custody orders and paternity fraud. He won some and lost some but he never ducked the fight and never stopped trying.

Rod took the lead to fight against paternity fraud in California. The first year he lost the bill in committee. The second year it passed the legislature only to be vetoed by Governor Davis. Rod was termed out but the next year, a modified version of his bill was signed into law. The latest state reports show that over 2,000 men have gotten their lives back and had their paternity orders reversed because of his efforts.

He also lost bills to allow those behind in payments to get current with an offer to compromise. Again, this effort eventually passed into law and resulted in thousands of men getting current on their support payments. Rod was successful in passing several bills that created more equity in the enforcement of child support orders in California.

Rod never gave up and his efforts resulted in greater education of legislators and eventual passage of significant changes in the law. This work has been continued with the creation and efforts of the California Alliance for Families and Children.

Men have few elected officials who have the courage to champion the cause of equality for men in family law. Rod Wright is one of those champions – we need to give him our full support.--Stan Diorio

I don't need to tell you that what happens legislatively in California has a large impact on the rest of the nation, and our victories here often translates into progress elsewhere. Again, if you are interested in volunteering to help Rod Wright, click here. If you are interested in donating, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

To learn more about the CAFC, click here.


Father Jailed Because His Adult Daughter Fails to Get Her GED

As anti-male as family courts are, this story is still a little hard to believe. The case is described in the story Man Jailed After Daughter Fails To Get GED (WCPO TV, 5/9/08). Ben, a reader, says:

"Summary:
 
1) Father was ordered to see to it that his daughter get her GED.
2) Daughter's problems in school were at a time when she lived with her mother.
3) Both mother and daughter agree that either one of them should go to jail before the father.
4) Father's current wife believes he might lose his job of 15 years for being in jail.

To their credit, both women in the story--the mother and the daughter (pictured)--accept responsibility for the problem, and say if anyone should be punished it's them, not the dad.

According to the story:

"A Fairfield man is in jail because his daughter hasn't gotten her General Equivalency Diploma (GED).

"A judge ordered the father to stay on top of his daughter's education months ago and when that order wasn't followed, Brian Gegner was sentenced to 180-days in the Butler County jail.

"The daughter, Brittany Gegner, says her father shouldn't be punished for her problems.

"Especially, she says because she's now 18, an adult.

"'It's ridiculously wrong,' said Brittany Gegner.

"'Of all the punishments they could have given him, to make him go to jail?,' she asked. 'I mean, probation – until I get my GED – would be reasonable, but to send him to jail? That's overboard.'

"Butler County Juvenile Court Judge David Niehaus ordered Gegner to jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor by not following a court order which required Gegner to be sure his daughter got her GED.

"This comes after ongoing problems of Brittany skipping classes at Fairfield High School and then, Butler Tech.

"While Brian Gegner had custody of her, Brittany says it was while she lived with her mother that she was truant.

"'I'm about to be 19 and my Dad's being punished for something I did when I was 16,' she said.

"'It's like I should, if anybody should be punished for this,' said Brittany. 'I would way rather me go to jail than my Dad.'

"'They probably should have punished me if they were going to punish anybody,' said Brittany's mother Shana Roach. 'Because she did live with me at the time, but because he had the custody, that's why he's being punished.'

"'But I don't understand the punishment all together because she's going to school, she's been going for four months,' said Roach. 'The only thing that's holding her back is she can't pass her math test.'"

Read the full article here.

It still seems like there must be more to this than we're hearing. If Butler County Juvenile Court Judge David Niehaus wishes to respond with his side of the story, he may do so by emailing me at glenn@glennsacks.com. I will publish what he sends me.

To discuss this issue on the blog, click here

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use software program designed for divorced parents to track their parenting plan schedules over many years. Do-it-yourself or let us build your approved parenting plan into a multi-year calendar so that you can print, share, or modify the calendar later. Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and mediators can generate equitable parenting plans, which is especially useful for parents seeking fair division of their children's time. FREE ASSISTANCE TO OUR CLIENTS- $49.95 one-time charge, FREE TRIAL & MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE. Click here for more information.

Father Holds His Daughter's Hand on Bus, Transit Police Investigate

Another example of the hazards of Parenting While Male. According to Suspicious incident on-board MBTA bus resolved (5/6/08) from WBZ News in Boston:

"Transit police have identified the man seen with a young girl on-board a bus at Sullivan Station Sunday night.  

"Officers have met with both the young girl,  and the family member who was with her on the bus. 

"A passenger noticed a man holding the child's hand.  That passenger says she overheard the girl say she was hungry, and the man told her to 'Please be quiet.'   

"The police say there was no criminal conduct.  They consider the case closed."

So the man (pictured, with the girl) was a "family member," probably the father but maybe a different relative. He held his daughter's hand on the bus and told her to be quiet when she was complaining about being hungry. For this, he's investigated.

The case reminds me of the Victor Emmer case--see my blog post 'The police can't even stick a loitering charge on this guy, and they've gone and ruined his life'.

It also reminds me of the Virginia Billboard controversy--see my blog post Rush Limbaugh Covers Our Protest of Man-Bashing Virginia Health Department Billboards.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond
Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Fathers are an essential part of a child's life--divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org

FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS?
Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense.
Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson
www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

Venus: The Dark Side
Discover how she has 'played' you. For the first time ever, a book that tells you exactly how manipulative and deceitful women win against their unsuspecting prey – and there's detailed information about what you can do about it. Read Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary's book "Venus: The Dark Side".  Amazon 5 star reviewers say "An astounding book." "Required reading for all young men today." Visit www.venusthedarkside.com

Faced with a Divorce? Need Help with Family Law? Child Custody? Child Support? Parental Alienation? False Accusations?

Check Out Glenn's New Family Law Help Directory. The Directory Has Experts From All over the Country Who Can Help You

New Column: Shared Parenting Bill Will Help Michigan’s Kids, Overburdened Court System

"Michigan family law courts are facing a crisis. As Supreme Court Justice Maura Corrigan explains, two-thirds of all the cases filed in circuit courts are family law cases. At least three million of the state’s 10 million people are currently involved in cases with open family court files. Corrigan warns that this has greatly expanded Michigan’s role in its citizens’ private lives. Moreover, the huge caseload prevents courts from handling these weighty and complex duties in anything but an assembly-line manner.

"There are two main reasons for Michigan’s problem—the state’s high rate of family breakdown, and the way family courts adjudicate child custody."

My new co-authored column, Shared Parenting Bill Will Help Michigan’s Kids, Overburdened Court System (Oakland Press, 5/5/08), supports a bill to institute a shared parenting presumption. The bill will be heard by the Michigan House Judiciary Committee on May 7.

HB 4564 could help solve the family court crisis Michigan Supreme Court Justice Maura Corrigan has detailed.  The Michigan National Organization for Women and the Michigan State Bar’s Family Law Section have come out in opposition to the bill.

The column, co-authored with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, is below. To write a Letter to the Editor of the Oakland Press, one of Michigan's largest newspapers, click on vop@oakpress.com

New Column: Shared Parenting Bill Will Help Michigan’s Kids, Overburdened Court System
By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks

Michigan family law courts are facing a crisis. As Michigan Supreme Court Justice Maura Corrigan explains, two-thirds of all the cases filed in Michigan circuit courts are family law cases. At least three million of the state’s 10 million people are currently involved in cases with open family court files. Corrigan warns that this has greatly expanded Michigan’s role in its citizens’ private lives. Moreover, the huge caseload prevents courts from handling these weighty and complex duties in anything but an assembly-line manner.

There are two main reasons for Michigan’s problem—the state’s high rate of family breakdown, and the way family courts adjudicate child custody. HB 4564, a bill which will be heard by the Michigan House Judiciary Committee on May 7, addresses the latter issue.

Under current law, judges decide custody cases based on the 12 factors delineated in Michigan’s Best Interest of the Child Test. However, the 12 factors fail to place sufficient emphasis on protecting children’s relationships with both parents. According to the Michigan Family Independence Agency, the most common parenting time schedule in Michigan allows children only 15% physical time with their noncustodial parents, usually (but not always) their fathers. Moreover, the custody decisions based on the 12 factors are often subjective and arbitrary.

By declaring the losing party a “noncustodial parent” with little role in his or her children’s lives, Michigan family courts are generating contentious litigation. HB 4564 will help clear overcrowded court calendars by instituting a presumption of shared parenting in divorce or separation.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for East Texas Fathers
Trouble seeing your children? Falsely accused of violence? Child Support Issues? Fathers for Equal Rights in Houston, Texas can help. Call them at 713-226-8485.  
1314 Texas Ave. Suite 609, Houston Texas 77002

Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally experienced the heartbreak of divorce and family breakup, Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to advance the interests and concerns of fathers in domestic and family law litigation. Personal attention is given to clients to help them through a very difficult time in their lives. www.brettwmartin.com

Be sure to add glenn@glennsacks.com to your address book or
safe sender list so our emails get to your inbox.


Educators, Mental Health Experts, Family Law Professionals Condemn Fox's Bad Dads, Endorse Our Campaign

Six dozen educators, mental health experts, and family law professionals have condemned Fox's Bad Dads and endorsed our campaign. The endorsement statement reads:

"The undersigned believe that Fox's Bad Dads provides a distorted and counterproductive view of divorced and separated fathers. Moreover, it is harmful to children to publicly humiliate them by depicting their fathers as not loving or caring for them. We respectfully request that Fox cancel this ill-conceived show."

To view the list of endorsers, click here.

If you are an educator, mental health expert, or a family law professional who would like to endorse our campaign, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Faced with a Divorce? Need Help with Family Law? Child Custody? Child Support? Parental Alienation? False Accusations?

Check Out Glenn's New Family Law Help Directory. The Directory Has Experts From All over the Country Who Can Help You

Falsely Accused? How to Get Beyond the 'He Said/She Said' Dilemma
Restraining orders and supervised visitation orders are often issued after relying solely on statements made by the accuser and the accused. Borders, McLaughlin & Associates are former police detectives who employ a new and different approach to such cases. Their Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Risk Assessments are designed to prove or disprove abuse allegations, and to answer the questions judges face. Contact them at (888) 621-1900 or go to www.bmaa.com

Help for San Diego, Riverside Fathers
The Law Offices of Robert M. Bennett provides caring and compassionate divorce and family law services to clients in San Diego and Riverside Counties. His areas of practice include every aspect of family law, such as divorce, paternity, child custody, child support, spousal support, property division, and post-divorce modification of existing orders. Call 760-631-2082 or go to www.robertmbennett.com

Dartmouth Students Rebel Against Feminist Professor's Manbashing, She Reacts by....Suing Her Students! (Part I)

"[The students] staged a rebellion..."

From Joseph Rago's Dartmouth's 'Hostile' Environment (Wall Street Journal, 5/5/08):

"After a winter of discontent, the snapping point came while Priya Venkatesan was lecturing on 'ecofeminism,' which holds, in part, that scientific advancements benefit the patriarchy but leave women out. One student took issue, and reasonably so – actually, empirically so. But 'these weren't thoughtful statements,' Ms. Venkatesan protests. 'They were irrational.' The class thought otherwise. Following what she calls the student's 'diatribe,' several of his classmates applauded.

"Ms. Venkatesan informed her pupils that their behavior was 'fascist demagoguery.' Then, after consulting a physician about 'intellectual distress,' she cancelled classes for a week. Thus the pending litigation.

"Such conduct is hardly representative of the professoriate at Dartmouth, my alma mater. Faculty members tend to be professional. They also tend to be sane.

"That said, even at – or especially at – putatively superior schools, students are spoiled for choice when it comes to professors who share ideologies like Ms. Venkatesan's. The main result is to make coursework pathetically easy. Like filling in a Mad Libs, just patch something together about "interrogating heteronormativity," or whatever, and wait for the returns to start rolling in...

"Why not? It's effortless, and there are better ways to spend time than thinking deeply about ecofeminism.

"The remarkable thing about the Venkatesan affair, to me, is that her students cared enough to argue. Normally they would express their boredom with the material by answering emails on their laptops or falling asleep. But here they staged a rebellion, a French Counter-Revolution against Professor Defarge. Maybe, despite the professor's best efforts, there's life in American colleges yet."

When I was in college 25 years ago I remember my roommate telling me about a recent lecture on "ecofeminism" in his class. The feminist professor's thesis was "just as men rape women, they rape the earth."

So here the male students in the class (the small percentage who make it to college these days) had been listening to this anti-male nonsense class after class and finally did what they should do far, far more often--they challenged it. Rather than engaging in debate, the feminist professor pretended to be a victim, cancelled classes for a week, scurried off to another school to teach, and is now suing her students. It is also quite possible that some of those who rebelled against the feminist professor were female students who've not yet been poisoned with the anti-male bigotry relentlessly pushed in Women's Studies classes.

I'm sure the professor also has/will have plenty of scurrilous things to say about the despised male rebels. One advantage though--whereas in family court women often have free rein to vilify the men who they feel done them wrong, in this case most if not all of what transpired must have happened in front of witnesses. I'll be surprised if her lawsuit goes anywhere, but you never know.

Maybe Dartmouth will settle with her and give her a hefty welfare check just to go away--after all, she is an oppressed female, and an oppressed "woman of color" to boot. In the politically correct college world, that gives her a vast advantage over her male students, though I'm sure she would never acknowledge it.

Thanks to Jean Valjean, a regular poster, for sending me the story.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Steve Moxon's The Woman Racket
The Woman Racket is a serious scientific investigation into one of the key myths of our age – that women are oppressed by the ‘patriarchal’ traditions of Western societies. Drawing on the latest developments in evolutionary psychology, Moxon finds that the opposite is true – men, or at least the majority of low-status males – have always been the victims of deep-rooted prejudice. As the prejudice is biologically derived, it is unconscious and can only be uncovered with the tools of scientific psychology. Moxon reveals this prejudice in fields as diverse as healthcare, employment, family policy and politics.
Jeff Leving's New Book--Divorce Wars
Jeffery M. Leving, one of America's most prominent divorce lawyers, has written a new book on how to win any divorce fairly, even when your spouse brings out the heavy artillery. Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes, and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets Ugly provides essential advice on everything from picking the right lawyer and devising a winning settlement strategy to getting the most from your day in court and dealing with an ex-spouse. Divorce Wars is available here.

SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers
If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men.
Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com

Dartmouth Students Rebel Against Feminist Professor, She Sues Her Students--Part II, Students' Evaluations of the Professor

Background: In Dartmouth Students Rebel Against Feminist Professor's Manbashing, She Reacts by....Suing Her Students! (Part I), I discussed how a group of Dartmouth students rebelled against a feminist professor and her manbashing. The professor, rather than engaging in debate, pretended to be a victim, cancelled classes for a week, scurried off to another school to teach, and said she is suing her students.

Maureen O'Connor of the IvyGate blog checked and posted some of the student evaluations of the feminist professor. One wrote:

"Professor Venkatesan refuses to answer questions, does not respond to questions, and lectures by reading off her notes in front of her. She did not make me a better writer, she did not explain the concepts well, but she did manage to make my life a living hell."

Another wrote:

"She offered no help in class or in office hours for papers. When handed a hard copy she read the paper, said it was great, but then gave terrible grades to many students. Later on she began refusing to grade papers and gave the reason that judging by our peer editing abilities we didn't need her help on papers. She missed/cancelled 5 or 6 classes and as a result the syllabus was squished into 3 weeks and she changed the final project about 4 times. A TERRIBLE CLASS."

According to O'Connor, "last we checked, Venkatesan's course had fourteen reviews on the Dartmouth Student Assembly's student evaluations website, under the following titles:

Worst teacher I have ever had - Written by a 2011

Interesting - Written by a 2011

WORST PROFESSOR EVER DO NOT TAKE THIS CLASS - Written by a 2011

save yourself now - Written by a 2011

a tad ridiculous - Written by a 2011

Interesting Material but Prof. is hard to follow - Written by a 2011

Terrible class, terrible prof - Written by a 2011

Interesting Material, Bad Prof. - Written by a 2011

If she teaches here... - Written by a 2011

WORST CLASS EVER - Written by a 2011

interesting topic, boring prof - Written by a 2011

Do NOT take this course - Written by a 2011

HORRIBLE - Written by a 2011

insecurity, ego, and more - Written by a 2011"

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Parental Alienation: How to Overcome It
J. Michael Bone is an eminent authority on Parental Alienation. Starting in late April Michael is going to be doing a four-part Teleseminar on how targeted parents can overcome Parental Alienation. The 4 week telewebcast series begins Tuesday April 29 from 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. EDT, and runs each Tuesday through 5/20. In it, Bone identifies the four major mistakes targeted parents make. Bone's Teleseminar also includes 4 MP3 recordings of each session to download to keep for listening on-demand, and Study Guides sent to you in advance, providing details for each session. The price is only $39--to register, click here or go to www.overcomingparentalalienation.com.

Help for Midwest Fathers
Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com
Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody
Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell

A Dairy Queen Ad that Feminists and Men's Activists Agree on...

I've never liked the ad genre of "pretty woman uses her beauty power to take advantage of  hapless guy--isn't he a fool, ha ha ha," but this Dairy Queen commercial goes even beyond that. I'd say more but it's better that you just watch it. Note that the "gentleman" is said to be "wearing a donkey shirt."

I actually first saw this commercial at www.feministing.com, where Jessica Valenti--to her credit--criticized it in her post Womanhood: Getting dudes to buy you stuff.

To watch the ad, click here.

To watch a couple other anti-male Dairy Queen commercials, see my blog posts Dairy Queen's Kit Kat Blizzard Ad and Another Anti-Male Dairy Queen Commercial

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Families Against Confiscatory Child Support (FACCS)
FACCS is the national voice for fair and reasonable child support. FACCS believes all parents have an obligation to support their children financially. However, in high income cases, state and federal laws often result in excessive awards that are effectively alimony in disguise and have little to do with supporting children. Huge child support awards lead to protracted custody disputes, undermines co-parenting, and leaves children worse off financially. www.faccsonline.org / contact@faccsonline.org

Help, Resources for Dads
The National Fathers' Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Ft. Worth. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers' rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org

Help for Florida Dads
Neil Leavitt, PA helps Florida dads defend their relationships with their children during divorce or separation. Leavitt specializes in family law and has practiced law for nearly three decades. The Law Office of Neil Leavitt can be contacted by phone at (954) 989-5858.

His Side with Glenn Sacks Radio Commentary: Pitfalls for Child Support Obligors Who Launch Their Own Businesses

My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles discusses the pitfalls faced by child support obligors who launch their own businesses.

To listen to the commentary, click here or on the audio button below.

To learn more, click here.

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The Rogue Wallet: a Scientific, Stylish Solution
Sometimes great ideas come in unexpected shapes. The Rogue Wallet, the only wallet with a revolutionary curved edge, is designed to fit comfortably in your front pocket. Carrying your wallet in your front pocket makes sense for many reasons, in particular because doing so alleviates back pain caused by sitting on a traditional wallet. Inventor Michael Lyons designed the Rogue Wallet specifically with this purpose in mind. www.roguewallet.com

Help for Houston Fathers
The Law Offices of Thomas A. Martin helps fathers with Family Law and Criminal Defense in Houston and surrounding areas. Martin handles divorce, child custody, alimony, domestic violence, restraining orders and a wide variety of issues fathers face. www.thomasamartin.com

Help for Seattle Fathers
The Law Offices of O. Yale Lewis III is a one-person law firm that focuses on customer care. Mr. Lewis can help you identify and focus on the outcome that you want and implement the steps necessary to get there. www.yalelewislaw.com.

Parental Alienation: 'The Judge must be reminded that the relationship deteriorated when the child had little contact with the parent'

Background: J. Michael Bone (pictured) is an eminent authority on Parental Alienation, and I've often quoted his work in my newspaper columns on the issue.

Starting in late April Michael is going to be doing a four-part Teleseminar on how targeted parents can overcome Parental Alienation. The 4 week telewebcast series begins Tuesday April 29 from 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. EDT, and runs each Tuesday through 5/20. To register, click here or go to www.overcomingparentalalienation.com.

Below is Part II of my Q & A with Dr. Bone. Part I can be seen at 'Mental health professionals who don't understand Parental Alienation will find small imperfections in the targeted parent as an explanation for the child’s alienation...'

Glenn Sacks: What are the key things that a parent who is the target of Parental Alienation needs to do in order to get their judge to understand what is really happening in their case?

Dr. Bone: I believe that the most important issue to keep in mind pertains to the history of the relationship between the child and the alienated parent.  In these cases, this relationship will be dramatically different before and after the separation, or soon thereafter.  The audience (the Judge) must be repeatedly reminded that the relationship between the child and the parent deteriorated during the time when the child had little or no contact with that parent.  This exactly the opposite of what one would expect if the child had become resistant to seeing a parent who had, let's say abused them.  Therefore the historical picture, one that clearly and vividly conveys the relationship between the child and the targeted parent, and how quickly it fell apart, for reasons that do not justify the child's reaction, is the issue that the judge must be made to wrestle with.

Glenn Sacks: Dr. Bone, you warn parents who are targets of Parental Alienation not to agree to "Counter-Productive Recommendations." What are some examples of this?

Dr. Bone: Recommendations that do not work are those that do not cause the damaged and alienated relationship to be healed and returned to normal.  In many PAS cases, these recommendations are outpatient counseling.  

It is not uncommon for Family Law Judges to believe, and reasonably so, that counseling could and should be helpful.  However, when parental alienation is present in the PAS form, such outpatient counseling often turns into a format for the child to act out their alienation to the therapist.  Under these circumstances, the child’s job becomes the convincing of the therapist as to why they should not see that parent.   

If the therapist does not understand the PA dynamic, they will most likely be pulled into the alienated view of the child.  If the therapist does understand the PA phenomenon, then the child will begin to protest the therapy and will begin to say things such as it “...is not helping.”

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Orange County Dads--Free Consultation
Family law attorney J. Christian Conrad in Orange County, California helps fathers with divorce, child custody/visitation, child support, domestic violence, property division, alimony, and other family law problems. Call 949 457-0101 for a free consultation. www.jcc-law.com

Pre-Paid Legal Services for Divorced Dads
Pre-Paid Legal gives members access to professional legal counsel both for traditional legal problems and for everyday events where legal review should be routine, but rarely is. For Pre-Paid Legal members, access to legal counsel is only a toll-free phone call away. This is an ideal product for divorced dads--to learn more, click here or call Josh Case.

Activism Opportunity in Support of Our Campaign Against Fox's Bad Dads

Syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker (pictured) of the Washington Post Writers Group recently came out with a scathing piece criticizing Fox's Bad Dads and supporting our campaign protesting the show. Her column--'Bad Dads' a Bad Idea (5/2/08)--has run in 300 newspapers over the past week.

I suggest that readers write Letters to the Editors of some of those papers to explain why you oppose the stigmatization of divorced fathers in Bad Dads.

Below we looked up the contact information for 16 of the papers. The version of Parker's article which ran in the paper is on top, followed by that paper's Letters to the Editor email address.

Also feel free to post your letters as comments on this blog post.

Beating up on fathers once again (Baltimore Sun, 5/5/08)
letters@baltsun.com

'Bad Dads' show a bad idea (Detroit News, 5/4/08)
letters@detnews.com 

Kathleen Parker: 'Bad Dads' fosters unfair stereotype (San Antonio Express, 5/4/08)
letters@express-news.net

'Bad Dads' a bad idea (Orlando Sentinel, 5/4/08)
insight@orlandosentinel.com

Parker: 'Bad Dads' TV a bad idea (Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 5/6/08)
letters@star-telegram.com 

'Bad Dads' is a bad idea (Norfolk Virginian Pilot, 5/6/08)
letters@pilotonline.com

New reality TV series bounty hunts bad dads (Denver Post, 5/2/08)
openforum@denverpost.com 

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Divorce and Family Consultant Jayne A. Major, Ph.D. Helps Parents all over the United States
Dr. Major, founder of Breakthrough Parenting Services, Inc., helps dads all over the US with Parental Alienation Syndrome, child custody, preparing for psychological evaluations, dealing with personality disorders including BPD,
parenting and family relationship issues, and much more. Contact her at  jaynemajor@gmail.com or (310) 823-7846. For more info., click here.

Need Help with Divorce Debts?
Divorce often brings debt. Prosperity Financial can help. Prosperity Financial offers Debt Consolidation (CCCS), Debt Settlement, a Student Loan Consolidation program, and much more. Negotiate lower interest rates, avoid nasty creditors and improve your credit. Call 1-888-611-2809 or visit www.prosperityfinancial.org.

A Leading Child Support Enforcement Official's View of Fox's Bad Dads

"Child Support Intervention (CSI) was the first private agency to begin broadly publicizing the names and identifying information, including pictures, of deadbeat parents.  The practice began in February 1995 and was covered by much of the media (CNN and Time included) when the first billboard was erected in Fort Worth, Texas. 

"The first deadbeat portrayed owed over $20,000.  Of course, he threatened to sue but could not find a lawyer to handle the case.  The reason is simple: He owed the money."--Michael 'Doc' McCoy, former director, CSI 

I am introducing a new feature on my blog--"The Child Support Official's Viewpoint." The feature will be authored by Michael 'Doc' McCoy, a prominent former child support official and one of the pioneers of the private child support collection industry.

McCoy was the Founder and Managing Director of Child Support Intervention (CSI) in Fort Worth, TX from 1991 to 2002, and held a leadership position in the American Child Support Collection Association from 1993 to 1999. He retired from CSI in 2002 and currently lives in China. He has often been a commenter on www.glennsacks.com under the name "Doc."
 
McCoy has on occasion been a critic of the private child support industry and an internal reformer--to learn more, see SmartMoney magazine's Mother's Little Helpers (8/2/02).

In the selection below, McCoy defends Fox's pilot reality show Bad Dads, which has been the target of our highly-publicized protest campaign.

Why Fox Won’t Be Sued over Bad Dads
By Michael 'Doc' McCoy
 
Child Support Intervention (CSI) was the first private agency to begin broadly publicizing the names and identifying information, including pictures, of deadbeat parents.  The practice began in February 1995 and was covered by much of the media (CNN and Time included) when the first billboard was erected in Fort Worth, Texas.  The first deadbeat portrayed owed over $20,000.  Of course, he threatened to sue but could not find a lawyer to handle the case.  The reason is simple: He owed the money.  After appearing on the billboard, television cameras were allowed into family court to document him being sentenced to jail for contempt of court. 
 
What goes on in family court is a matter of public record, unless of course the records have been sealed.  As a result, if someone is delinquent in their child support obligation they can be labeled a “deadbeat” and publicly exposed without fear of liability to those who are doing the exposing.
 
CSI went on to expose deadbeats on nightly news television programs throughout the country from time to time.  Again, numerous threats of law suits.  Again, no law suits were ever filed.  The simple reason is that CSI ensured that their information was 100% correct.
 
The deadbeats that are exposed in this manner have typically been brought to court previously on contempt of court proceedings.  At the conclusion of those proceedings a judgment confirming the arrears is issued.  It is relatively easy to determine then if the judgment has been satisfied, or attempts to satisfy the judgment have been made as the obligor is instructed to send all payments through the public agency.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Listen to the Wisest of All
Listen to the Wisest of All is based on interviews with seniors between the ages of 88 and 104. The seniors honestly and eagerly shared unique insights, inspiring quotes, their strong spiritual beliefs, and their advice to the younger generation. Listen to the Wisest of All illustrates life through the retelling of the seniors' experiences. Their stories were gathered into vignettes that reveal the deeper nuances of life, love, and the passions that gave meaning to their lives. www.listentothewisest.com

Poppa Won by Michael Anthony
Children are sometimes used as pawns in custody battles. They get caught in the middle and can feel responsible, hurt, or confused.  Poppa Won is the true story of how one father refused to give up and fought through the courts to win shared parenting of his only child. Poppa Won helps teach non-custodial parents how to contend with the legalities of a custody war.  www.poppawon.com

James Rhoades: 'Predatory Marital Gigolo' or Loving Father?

Background: According to TIME magazine, "For nearly two years, James Rhoades...has been fighting to establish in law what science and fact already have shown beyond any doubt: He is the biological father of the boy dubbed J.A.R...the boy's mother, J.N.R., whom Rhoades met while taking an online graduate course...was — and still is — married to another man, who was stationed at a Pensacola Air Force base during their affair in 2005. And that's the problem.

"[A] divided Kentucky Supreme Court told Rhoades that he could not press his paternity claim, no matter what evidence of fatherhood he might have, because J.N.R. was, and remains, a married woman...The decision has left Rhoades devastated. 'What I wanted was not just to see my son but to participate in his life. He is my son and I love him.'"

In my recent blog post If there were ever a guy in a no-win situation, it's James Rhoades, I explained that I "have mixed emotions about Rhoades and his case." Ned Holstein tackles the difficult case in his recent blog post Sanctity of Marriage, or Discrimination Against Dads? Rhoades is pictured with his son above.

In a recent post, fathers' rights activist David R. Usher called Rhoades "a predatory marital gigolo." I quoted from Usher's article and linked to it so my readers can see Usher's perpsective and judge for themselves. However, Usher took his article down and asked me to remove the quotes. My quotes were fair use but, as a favor, I have removed them.

Rhoades' reply and the readers' comments are below. As I noted earlier, I remain ambivalent about Rhoades and his case.

 James Rhoades' Rebuttal to Dave Usher
 
David R. Usher in his post "The James Rhoades Case: Mercenary Gigolo Does Not Make Three" has leveled many stinging accusations against me as a man and as a father. He has called me a mercenary gigolo, marital gigolo, disgusting individual, creep, redundant father, marital invader, mercenary gigolo du-jour, and marital offender. Of course I've never met Mr. Usher nor have I ever spoken to him, never-the-less he insists on insulting and belittling for trying to participate in my son's life.
 
Usher asserts with his diatribe that I be considered not as a father but rather as someone who should be on a "marital offenders" registry. He claims that the 2nd husband of my son's mother is the father of my son and that I should have no rights or should not be identified to my son as his father. He also says I should be held responsible for the financial expenses and mental torture I've inflicted on Mr. Ricketts. He concludes his post by saying, "...save fathers' rights for good men who did nothing wrong."
 
I believe Usher has characterized me and my intentions unfairly. I have admitted that engaging in an affair was wrong and take full responsibility, however, that should not bar me nor my son from continuing the father son relationship we had for the 1st three months of my son's life. Why should I be stripped of a relationship with my son because he was conceived during an affair? How does that make me a non-father? The facts are undeniable, which prove I'm my son's father. To say that I should go to jail for having an affair is very different from saying I should be stripped of my fatherhood.

According to Usher's views there should be no blended families nor should we recognize unmarried fathers who have children. Usher has in one sweeping blow declared I don't deserve any rights because a married woman had my son. Furthermore, he has concluded I'm a bad man and I should wear a scarlet "A" around my neck. In his diatribe he neglects to consider the implications upon my son or the value and importance of the truth. A truth my son deserves to know and will know, for one day my son will discover the truth and will discover how much I love him.

I'm not asking to be initiated into the men's movement that Usher promotes--rather, I seek a place in my son's life. 

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers' Rights Legal Help
If you need help with divorce, child custody, child support, alimony and visitation issues, The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving, Ltd. is one of the only law firms in the country focused almost exclusively on fathers' rights in divorce. Leving did heroic work on the Elian Gonzalez case, helping reunite Elian with his father. He also co-authored Illinois' Joint Custody Law, and was named one of "America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes Radio. Leving is the author of Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute. Call today for an initial consultation (312) 807-3990 or visit us on the web at www.dadsrights.com.
Legal Help for Los Angeles Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles and you're facing a divorce, separation, or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. www.OddLaw.net

www.WHYJUDGELITTLE.com
My goal is to inform the public about the rulings made by Madison County, Alabama, Judge Loyd H. Little, Jr. that have turned my son’s life upside down the past two years. Judge Little’s rulings affect everyone in Alabama because they become LAW. A judge ruled (made LAW) in Bayliss vs Bayliss (1989) establishing child support beyond age of 18 which is now applied standard statewide to all unmarried or divorced parents. – Chris Hobbs, Father www.WHYJUDGELITTLE.com

'Our pastor makes us husbands get on our knees on Mother's Day and beg for forgiveness...husbands write all the things we've done wrong and give it to their wives'

"[There's a] difference between how we handle Mother's Day compared with Father's Day in church. If it's like in years past, it won't be pretty.

"This Sunday we will extol the value and benefit of motherhood, which is great. But in some churches, this will be done by degrading Christian husbands, which is not great. 'Our pastor makes us husbands get on our knees on Mother's Day and beg for forgiveness. I don't want to do it again this year,' one reader tells me. Another writes, 'Our minister makes husbands write on paper all the things we've done wrong. Then we're suppose to give it to our wives and pledge that we won't do them anymore.'

"Most preachers will not be this heavy-handed. They will wait till Father's Day (Sunday, June 18) to tell men how to be better fathers. Of course there's nothing wrong with this message when taken as an isolated event. But when compared with Mother's Day, we'll discover that for some reason many ministers believe that fathers need correction on Father's Day (and Mother's Day) but women don't. Why this double-standard?

"Because much of the church sees men as a problem to be fixed when compared to women, not a gender to be appreciated."

I've often complained about anti-male bias among Christian conservatives, supposedly defenders of fatherhood and families. My friend Paul Coughlin, a prominent Christian writer and author of No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women, and Children, is one of the few Christian writers willing to take the Christian establishment to task for this.

Paul's excellent 2007 Mother's Day Crosswalk article Pastors, Don't Use Mother's Day to Bash Dads--is excerpted above. Also, see my blog post Anti-Male Bias among Christian Conservatives.

I'm not normally a fan of Dr. James Dobson, but Coughlin gives us a nice quote from him. Coughlin writes:

"[I]f there is a problem with their marriage, Christian men have been told by these sources that it is automatically their fault. Dr. James Dobson is one of a few authors brave enough to confront this false message.

"He writes in Love Must Be Tough that men are saddled with the unrealistic expectation that 'any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault. At least he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough. In other words, many American women come into marriage with unrealistically romantic expectations which are certain to be dashed. Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future, it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible...Marital conflict always involves an interaction between two imperfect human beings who share the responsibility to one degree or another.' Sadly, Dobson's common sense is drowned out by other and more shrill voices."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads
Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com
Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Nine states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

LaMusga Divorce Financial Planning
Divorce brings about a myriad of financial challenges and changes. Often divorcing couples make important decisions in a rash manner, with emotions impairing their judgment. These decisions may at times serve the parties well in the short-term, but can result in damaging and unnecessary long-term financial hardships.  Gary has successfully completed the training and testing required for designation as a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM and can assist you and your attorney in the process. To learn more, click here or call 925-287-1567.  Tracking Number  6790, DOFU 11/07

'We had joint custody until I got a job as a firefighter..I never expected that would be used to take away custody'

"Nine years ago Chris Hobbs and his wife divorced. At the time the two had joint custody. Then, Chris got a job as a Huntsville Firefighter.

"'So when I became a firefighter in January of 2005, the last thing I would have expected that would be used as a basis of a lawsuit and then that would be used to take my child away from me,' said Hobbs. But that's what has happened in the end result as we stand right now.'
 
"His hours as a firefighter changed his schedule, but Chris never thought it changed his ability to be a parent. The courts didn't see it that way when his wife filed for primary custody.

"'I have standard visitation which isn't followable because of my job as a firefighter,' said Hobbs...

"Chris Hobbs says right now he gets to see his son maybe one to two times a week, or sometimes not at all."--WHNT TV, Huntsville, Alabama   

Reader Chris Hobbs has been pushing to get more time with his 11-year-old son Blake, and has been doing well promoting his cause. The full article is Why is a Man Posting Signs Against a Local Judge? (5/7/08).

There's also a TV interview with Hobbs which can be found on www.whnt.com. One of the things I liked about Hobbs' interview is that he stressed that he wasn't doing this out of a personal grudge against the judge, he was doing it for his son.

Hobbs' website is http://www.whyjudgelittle.com/. He is pictured above with his son--with the judge in the middle.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

ExRants.com--The Place to Rant About Your Ex
ExRants.com is the place to rant about Ex-Wives, Ex-Husbands, Ex-Girlfriends, and any type of Relationship Rants. All posts are 100% anonymous. Get it off your chest and get a good night's sleep. Do you have a question about something and would like to see what others think about it? Ask it here with complete anonymity. www.ExRants.com 

Steven Carlson, the Custody Coach, has helped thousands of parents with child custody.

Steven Carlson's How to Win Child Custody
Are you contemplating divorce or separation but are unsure about how child custody will be determined or what you can expect from attorneys and the family court system? Knowing these things can help you win custody. Steven Carlson is the author of "How to Win Child Custody" and the founder of Child Custody Coach in Orange County, California. Don't get caught unprepared, download your copy of "How to Win Child Custody" today. If you need Steven's Custody Coach services, click here.

Be sure to add glenn@glennsacks.com to your address book or
safe sender list so our emails get to your inbox.

Dan Oppenheimer: Men v. Women--Who’s screwing who, and to the benefit of whom?

"[There's] fairly strong evidence that in many ways it sucks much more, at this point in American history, to be a man than to be a woman, and very compelling arguments that it’s still women who are getting the shaft from the patriarchy much more than it is men who are getting the shaft from any kind of gynocracy."--Dan Oppenheimer

Dan Oppenheimer of the blog Masculinity and its Discontents, who wrote several posts for The Feminist Dissident, discusses the recent Vanity Fair article Men Evolving Badly: American manhood is in crisis (4/21/08) in his latest submission below.

Men v. Women--Who’s screwing who, and to the benefit of whom?
By Dan Oppenheimer

James Wolcott, a critic who I admire, has a surprisingly unsatisfying review in this month’s Vanity Fair of a number of books on the masculinity crisis. Wolcott writes:

"The American man is in a sorry way. And here I thought it was just me mewling into my milk dish. But, no, my brother-men are hurting and hiding behind the adobe walls of foolish pride, unheard, unseen, unattended—until it’s too late. If the books banked around me are halfway credible, a large-scale crisis has befallen the American male, a prolonged batting slump that has bottomed into pathos, self-recrimination, and pathological dysfunction. It is a silent epidemic, a shadow plague of frustration, festering anger, and doubt, the misery held inside until it erupts into the headlines or fills up the cardiac unit. Its toll is indicated in everything from the suicide rate (four times as many men commit suicide as do women) to testosterone dips (a study in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found a substantial decline in male testosterone levels between 1987 and 2004), to porn-addled masturbation to the point of glazed stupor (the ick-perfect cover photo of Robert Jensen’s Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity presents the partially shown face of a young man against a backdrop of bathroom tiles, his mouth ajar after presumably selfishly entertaining himself)."

Wolcott continues, describing the claims offered in these various books, and name-checking, among others, the one and only Glenn Sacks (who gets a lot of love in Guy Garcia’s The Decline of Men: How the American Male Is Tuning Out, Giving Up, and Flipping Off His Future.) What he doesn’t do, and I understand this at the same time that I was disappointed by it, is render a persuasive judgment of what it all means or how to assimilate it into our picture of the universe.

He makes two true, but disappointingly dry, points (it’s not that points shouldn’t be dry, it’s just that what makes Wolcott great is his acute psycho-cultural insight; he makes really wet points). The first is that in the realm of the super-elite, it’s clear that men still run the show. He writes:

"In his informative, provocative guide to the 'global power elite,' Superclass, David Rothkopf spells out the eight key rules for admission into the atrium of the Davos gods, among them 'Attend an elite university' and 'Get rich.' Topping the advisory list: 'Be born a man.'

"'There is no group as disproportionately under-represented among the members of the superclass as women. On a planet where 51 percent of the inhabitants are women, the global power structure is still locked in the dark ages on this issue. Only 6.3 percent of the superclass are women.' Corporate boardrooms are still predominantly boys’ clubs—'As of 2007, there were only thirteen women chief executives among Fortune’s top five hundred, twenty six among the top one thousand.'”

His second point is that it’s really the economy, stupid, that, “The primary threat to the psychological well-being of most men (and women) isn’t sexual or pop-cultural but economic, the fear that a single swing of the ax could render one destitute and undo everything one has attempted to build.”

What he doesn’t get into is the subjective emotional experience of gender relations in America, and how they radiate out into the political culture (and vice-versa). He doesn’t clarify at all the painful ambiguity that’s flummoxed me so much in trying to navigate between the fairly strong evidence that in many ways it sucks much more, at this point in American history, to be a man than to be a woman, and the very compelling arguments that it’s still women who are getting the shaft from the patriarchy much more than it is men who are getting the shaft from any kind of gynocracy.

I’m still left wondering: Who’s screwing who, and to the benefit of whom? Or is everybody screwing everybody, to the benefit of no one? Wolcott’s answer, I suppose, is that it’s the super-elite who are screwing everyone, using whatever divisive tools they have at their disposal—racism, sexism, classism, reverse-racism, reverse-sexism, reverse-classism, xenophobia, multiculturalism, political correctness, political incorrectness, etc.—to set all the different categories of sub-people against each other so that no one notices that the only ones really making out are Greg Marmalard and the other boys in the Davos Phi Davos fraternity.

To the extent that this quasi-Marxist, the base determines the superstructure kind of perspective is true, it does point to where there could be, or at least should be, some overlap between men and women in trying to address a gender situation that doesn’t seem to be working out all that well for any of us who aren’t members of the superclass [universal health care, for instance, might ease some of the painful insecurity that adds stress to so many marriages, and paid maternity and paternity leave would enable mothers and fathers to devote more attention to both their children and to each other in the (usually very stressful) early months after a child is born].

I guess my instinct, at the end of the day, though, is that in addition to whatever conspiracies or establishments or oppressive classes are out there screwing us to advance their own interests, there’s also a pretty substantial chunk of what’s going on that’s just effed up in a way that serves no one’s interests.

We’re a neurotic society. We just don’t know how to be normal, how to be excellent to each other (as Bill & Ted recommended), how to find some sane equilibrium between individualism and the common good, how to nurture the entrepreneurial dynamism that fuels the growth of our economy while also providing enough economic security to the masses so that it doesn’t feel like we’re all climbing over each other to get to the top. In a lot of ways, we just suck.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody
Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org

Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com

Hero Father Dies Saving Daddy's Little Girl

Most fathers would do anything to protect their children, and here's another example.

Like hero fathers James Kim and Albert Collins, Chicago father Joseph Richardson gave his life to save his child.

From Mitch Dudke's Dad died saving his little girl: Father's last act protected 4-year-old from crash (Chicago Sun-Times, 5/7/08):

"With an out-of-control car bearing down, Joseph Richardson grabbed his 4-year-old daughter and held her up out of harm's way.

"It was his last act -- and one that apparently saved his daughter's life.

"Richardson, a 39-year-old father of three, was killed Monday evening by the car, driven by a man who police say was drunk.

"The car pinned Richardson and his daughter Kaniyah against a wrought iron fence at 95th Street and Wentworth, police said.

"Kaniyah survived and was listed in critical but stable condition Tuesday evening at Comer Children's Hospital, where a spokeswoman said she was doing well.

"'He held the baby up to keep the car from destroying the baby, but it totally destroyed him,' said Richardson's father, the Rev. L.V. Richardson.

"Richardson was walking his daughter to a McDonald's for burgers at 6:40 p.m. Monday when a 1990 Chevy Cavalier jumped a curb and careened towards them, police said, citing witness accounts.

"He grabbed his daughter just before the car slammed the two into the fence, police said...

"Joseph Richardson, the father of two girls and a boy, all under the age of 11, was described as a devoted father. His other love was music. He was a gifted pianist and organist and performed in choirs at Cottage Grove Baptist Church and Greater Revelation Missionary Baptist Church, where his father ministers. His idols were Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder, his family said..."

Read the full article here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for NYC Fathers
The Law Office of Tracey A. Bloodsaw provides quality family law services at affordable rates. We pride ourselves on serving a community that is often neglected--fathers. Our areas of practice include: divorce; child custody/visitation; child support; domestic violence; and many others. Call 718.274.1599 or go to www.traceyabloodsaw.com.

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation cases are among the most difficult and complicated in family law. J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an expert on parental alienation. If you're a target parent, he can help you get back into your children's lives. Bone has worked as a custody evaluator and as a therapist and knows how to help the court find the truth. His services are available throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662 or by email by clicking here. www.jmbconsulting.org
How to Win Shared Custody
Here are the litigation secrets to winning shared physical & legal custody from Boston trial lawyer  Nick Palermo, Esquire  who has won these cases for 24 years.  It costs $5,000 or more in legal fees to gain the knowledge and guidance contained in this $10 handbook--The Ten Essential Elements to Winning Joint Shared Physical and Legal Custody. www.TenEssentialElements.com

Author Says Divorced/Separated Dads Owe Their Exes a Mother's Day Gift

This article by Rebecca Eckler, author of Toddlers Gone Wild!, is so offensive in so many ways it's hard to know where to begin.

Here's one. Rebecca writes:

"On behalf of my four-year-old, who has a Yahoo account in her name, I recently sent an e-mail to her father, who lives in Alberta.

"'Hi Daddy,' I typed, as my daughter was fast asleep. 'Mommy has been talking about Mother's Day. I only have 143 pennies in my piggy bank. She's the best mommy ever. She's been pretty exhausted. I'd like to get her something nice. Can you help? Love you.'

"It was a slightly pathetic, but possibly cute, way of reminding my daughter's father about Mother's Day.

"On what is perhaps the Hallmark holiday of all Hallmark holidays, what's a single mother to do to get some sort of recognition? It's certainly not going to come from a child who still licks glue and is too young to understand the concept.

"But modern single mothers, whether they've chosen to be single, still get along with the father of their children, or have no contact with the father at all, are finding new ways to make Mother's Day special (and, in some cases, more fruitful)...

"As for me, the e-mail worked. I'll be at a spa, thanks to my four-year-old's request via her mother's e-mail."

I love that--mom is so entitled to even more of dad's money that she brags in the national media about her need to "remind my daughter's father about Mother's Day," as if it's his problem.

Here's another:

"All mothers of young children rely on gifts made by someone else. For the single mom, feeling the need for something more than a crumpled card in a knapsack - something that comes with a gift receipt - presents a particular dilemma. You can't very well hand over $20 to your three year-old to do your shopping.

"So some have learned to lobby on their own behalf.

"'I've drilled it into him,' says Toronto-based Vanessa Craft, the author of Out of Character, about her three-year-old daughter's father, who lives in England.

"Growing up, Mother's Day, like most holidays, had always been recognized in my house. So it's a big deal. I even remind my daughter's father that on her birthday I should also get something, for the fact that I gave birth,' Ms. Craft says.

"'Her dad knows to make me cards, at the very least, on behalf of our daughter,' says Ms. Craft, adding, 'I've never had a bad Mother's Day being a single mom.'"

Huh? Her ex owes her a Mother's Day gift?

One other note--in both cases (Rebecca Eckler and Vanessa Craft) the children are very young and the fathers live far away. Rebecca dumped the father of her child, to whom she was engaged to be married, for another man. I don't know what happened in Vanessa's case, but statistically the odds are good that she was the one who initiated the divorce/breakup. In both cases it was probably the women who moved away. So having already severed most of the loving bonds between the fathers and their little children, the women now feel deprived and entitled to even more from dad.

Here's a third section:

"Stacey Otis, a single mother of three, says that without a partner there is 'such a greater connection with your children,' and that Mother's Day is always 'awesome.'

"She celebrates the day at her house, or at one of her siblings' houses, and has turned it into 'Family Mother's Day.'

"Unlike many of my mother friends, who moan about husbands forgetting Mother's Day entirely, or who complain about partners not even giving them two hours of alone time, Ms. Otis says, 'My Mother's Days are always special. When my kids get excited to give me what they made at school, it's like gold. When you know all you have is each other, it makes the day really special.'"

So Stacey Otis' kids are better off because they don't have a dad? That's odd, since being without a dad greatly increases their chances for most youth pathologies, including drugs, crime, teen pregnancy, and dropouts.

And of course Stacey is better off, because all of her friends' husbands are louts who spend much of the their time working to support their wives and children. And Stacey's excessively critical female attitude probably gives you a good clue as to why her and Rebecca's and Vanessa's relationships ended, too.

The full article is--get this--Get what you want this Mother's Day. Twist the ex's arm (Globe and Mail, 5/6/08). To write a Letter to the Editor of the Globe and Mail about this piece, click on Letters@globeandmail.com.
 
Thanks to Luc Chagnon, a Canadian reader, for sending the article.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Boston Dads
The Law Offices of Nicholas Palermo in every custody and support case, consistently promotes and advances the fundamental, Constitutional, equal right of all involved and fit Fathers, to raise and nurture their children.  In case after case, founder Nick Palermo establishes that Fathers are parents, not "visitors", and secures joint, shared custody, and equal parenting rights for both fit parents. In 2008 we celebrate our 22nd year as a downtown Boston trial and full service law firm.  LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Los Angeles Dads--Free Legal Consultation on Your Case
If you are involved in a divorce, domestic violence, paternity, child custody or support case in the greater Los Angeles area, call Stephen A. Gershman to schedule your FREE initial one hour consultation at (888) 295-1756 or (818) 990-6505. Gershman is certified as a Specialist in Family Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. He is an experienced attorney, over 25 years, who will competently and aggressively defend you against unjust domestic violence restraining orders or unfair financial obligations. When Parental Alienation or custody is an issue, he will help you protect your relationship with your kids. www.losangelesfamilylawyer.com

Volunteer(s) Needed for Men's Activism Journalism Project

I'm looking for a reader or two to volunteer to do a men's activism journalism project which is long, long overdue, and which will be of interest to those who read this site. Upon completion, the project will become a permanent fixture on my website and will be available for reference by other activists and the media.

The project will take a fair amount of work and must be done in a serious, journalistic manner. The authors of the project will be credited publicly for their work if they want, or they can choose to remain anonymous if they prefer. The project will be done under my direction and will be the property of Sacks Media Group, LLC.

If you are interested, click here and send us your name, phone #, and a brief explanation of why you're interested and why you're a good candidate for the job. Either I or my assistant will contact you.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Legal Help for Fathers in New Jersey
 If you're a New Jersey father facing a divorce or separation, the law firm of Pitman, Pitman, Mindas, Grossman & Lee can help. PitmanLaw.com
Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law Attorney Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com exposes the truth about what is happening in our family law system. Lisa, the all-time leader in appearances on His Side with Glenn Sacks, says that she was "tired of having her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications and politically-correct newspapers" and decided to start her own website. RealFamilyLaw.com

Dance4Equality
Dance4Equality promotes awareness and advocacy for equal rights in family law through the beautiful uniqueness of dance. Led by Derek J. Bailey, an enrolled tribal member of the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, Dance4Equality has led protests against the Michigan family courts to promote equal protection for all in family law cases. To learn more, click here.

The Feminist Dissident: 'Men's Activists tend to look at all feminists as man-hating, out of touch, and wielding great institutional power'

The purpose of "The Feminist Dissident" is to give feminists a chance to speak directly to my audience, and my audience to debate the issues with them in a civil manner. To read previous entries, click here.

Contributors include/have included Micky M. (aka Michelle), Dan Oppenheimer and Jamie Berger of the blog Masculinity and its Discontents, and Hari Narayan Singh Khalsa (aka Harq-al-Ada). If you are a feminist and are interested in submitting a blog post, please email me at glenn@glennsacks.com.

(Re: the name, Hari explains "I have decided, with the help of Glenn, that I have outgrown the pseudonym for the purposes of this site.  From now on I will go by my actual name instead of Harq al-Ada.")

Recognizing Distinctions
By Hari Narayan Singh Khalsa (aka Harq-al-Ada)

You may notice that I use the word “they” to describe feminists, as well as Men's Rights Activists (MRAs).  Though I often have a feminist perspective on a given issue, I only partially identify as a feminist; I see society as more complex than can be encapsulated in a feminist worldview.
  
It is often said in social psychology that people tend to recognize differences within their own group while assuming people in another group are all the same.  It is largely a matter of familiarity; distinctions become more clear with more contact.  In the few years I have visited Men’s Rights boards, I have come to identify several possible sub-groups. 

There are those who focus on fathers’ rights and those with a broader approach.  There are liberals and conservatives, Nice Guys (TM) and pickup artists, egalitarians and male supremacists.  Feminists do not tend to give you the credit of heterogeneity.  To most of them, all of you are male supremacists who are probably aligned with the political Right (the latter is not automatically a bad thing, in my view).  Theirs is not a fair characterization, but it goes both ways.

MRA’s tend to look at all feminists as man-hating, out of touch, and wielding great institutional power.  While this describes some feminists, it does not allow for the most basic of distinctions, that of generation. 

The Third Wave feminists I usually read tend to be pro-Obama, sex-positive and take the acceptance of men as decent people as a given.  They certainly give the occasional nod to their forbears (who maintain the institutional power) but have their own voice.  They recognize that the world they inherited is more equal than the one that came before, and are good at isolating those things that have yet to be resolved.  Insofar as they can continue to move beyond the perspective of the past, they will have much to offer the world.

Distinguishing by generation alone ignores far more complexity, but it is a start.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Family Law Help for Dads Nationwide
The Alliance for Single Parents helps dads nationwide with child custody, child support, Parental Alienation, and other family law problems. If you've got a family law problem and are looking for a resolution at a reasonable price, call the Alliance for Single Parents at 1-888-937-3466 (1-888-We're Home) or email them by clicking here. www.allianceforsingleparents.com

Are you or someone you love being abused?
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families in order to help survivors recover from the trauma of domestic violence. Contact them by clicking here.
File Taxes Online with  Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your taxes, check your refund status, and have your return reviewed by an experienced tax professional--all online.

Holstein on the James Rhoades Case: Sanctity of Marriage, or Discrimination Against Dads?

In my recent blog post If there were ever a guy in a no-win situation, it's James Rhoades, I discussed the James Rhoades case. Ned Holstein tackles this difficult case in his new blog post Sanctity of Marriage, or Discrimination Against Dads? Holstein writes:

"James Rhoades had an affair with a married woman, from which a child resulted. For three months, the married mother allowed Rhoades to visit the child secretly, and he wanted to help raise the child. Then she cut him off, and he went to court. Near the end of April, the Kentucky Supreme Court decided that he had no parental rights, despite DNA proof of his fatherhood.  Thus, he will have no custody rights, or visitation, or even knowledge about the child, nor will he have to pay child support. To read the full news article, click here.

"The Court struggled with this case, deciding it by a mere 4 to 3 vote in which 5 of the 7 justices wrote separate opinions. That’s not surprising, as the case will fracture the opinions of readers here as well.

"This case is like a hologram, which looks entirely different depending on the angle from which you view it.

"One way to look at gender-related law is to ask yourself, 'How would this decision look if the sexes were reversed?'

Read Holstein's answer and the full blog post here. Rhoades is pictured with his son above.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com

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