Fathers & Families Calls on Authorities to Find, Help 'Lost Boys' of the Texas Polygamist Ranch | GlennSacks.com
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Fathers & Families Calls on Authorities to Find, Help 'Lost Boys'
of the Texas Polygamist Ranch

April 22, 2008

 

Fathers & Families Calls on Authorities to 'Find, Help the Lost Boys' of the Texas Polygamist Ranch

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 21, 2008

For more information:
Dr. Ned Holstein, M.D., M.S.
Executive Director,
Fathers & Families
(617) 542-9300
nedholstein@fathersandfamilies.org

TEXAS POLYGAMY CASE: Authorities Ignore Expelled Boys, Need to Find and Help the Lost Boys

Boston, MA--Recent news reports about the Texas Yearning for Zion Ranch polygamist group highlight the abuse of young teenage girls who are compelled to marry older men. Yet very little attention has been paid to an equally important issue--the abuse and neglect of the group’s boys.

The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) removed all children under age 18--numbering 416 children--from the compound. Of these 416, only 27 are teenage boys. Demographics indicate there should have been about 65 teenage boys. Thus there are about 38 missing teenage boys—most of them likely expelled by sect leaders prior to the DFPS raids.
 

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Other communities of this sect have expelled boys as young as 13 from the compound, forcing them to fend for themselves without education, friends, or adult guidance. The order is usually given by the spiritual leader of the compound, and the parents of the boys are too fearful of excommunication to object.

According to one exiled boy, now in his twenties, 70 percent of the boys in his school class were expelled.  In a polygamist society in which some men have many wives, simple math tells us that many men will have no wives at all. One way to deal with this inevitable imbalance is to expel the extra men, even if they are still boys.

As indicated by our discussions with DFPS official Chris Van Duesen, Texas apparently has no plans to locate and assist these lost boys. According to Van Duesen, the lost boys problem does not exist in Texas. He offered no explanation for the preponderance of girls in state custody.

This is an unacceptable oversight on the part of public officials whose job is to ensure the safety and welfare of children. Fathers & Families calls upon Texas authorities to address the needs of expelled boys. DFPS must search for the boys, locate them, and provide them with shelter and services.

To discuss this issue, click here.


Outrageous Case: Military Dad's Kid Abducted by Mom, then Abused & Murdered--but Dad Doesn't Find out His Boy Is Dead Until a Year Later

I often receive letters from deployed military fathers (and sometimes mothers) in Iraq, Afghanistan or other parts of the world who have been cut off from their children by their exes, sometimes permanently. What struck me about the heartbreaking story below is how similar it is to those in the letters I receive, though few end so tragically.

The case is yet another example of anti-father family court bias, the utter lack of respect with which the father-child bond is treated, and how some mothers are able to get away with whatever they want regarding kids and child custody. If the system were fairer, if the system cared about Damion Peterson's loving bonds with his son, the boy would still be alive today.

The full story is below--thanks to Don Mathis for sending it. To write a Letter to the Editor of Stars & Stripes, click on letters@stripes.com.

To learn more about the family law problems faced by military parents, see my co-authored column Laws Must Protect the Rights of Military Dads (Army Times, Marine Corps Times, 3/28/05).
 
Former airman shocked to learn his son has been dead for a year
By David Allen, Stars and Stripes
April 16, 2008

URUMA, Okinawa — It’s been a year since 8-year-old Jordan Peterson died from injuries allegedly inflicted in a beating by his stepfather at his off-base home in Uruma.

But it was just last week that Jordan’s real dad found out his son was gone.

“You can’t believe my shock,” Damion Peterson said Monday in a telephone interview from his San Antonio home. “All in one day a friend said he had information that the military on Okinawa had investigated the possibility that Jordan was abused. And then I called my ex-mother-in-law to find out about the abuse and she tells me he’s been dead for a year.”

That was April 7. A Google search of his son’s name then brought home the horrible truth.

Peterson’s sister found a series of stories in Stars and Stripes that detailed Jordan’s death and the arrest — and later release — of the boy’s stepfather, Roberto Deleon, by Japanese police who alleged the child was beaten to death.

“My brother was devastated,” Marlo Saenz said. “The divorce was horrible, but he had always hoped to see Jordan again. He was the sweetest little boy.”

Peterson, 32-year-old former airman now living in Texas, said he had been estranged from his ex-wife for four years and she refused to let him have contact with his son during most of that time. He said she left him while they were living in Germany and he lost the ability to have Jordan for the summer visitations spelled out in their divorce decree.

“I was single, living in the dorms,” Peterson said. “I couldn’t keep him with me.”

He said he continued to have child support taken out of his paycheck, but had infrequent phone contact.

“She’d tell me Jordan did not want to talk to me,” he said...

To read more and to discuss this issue on the blog, click here
 

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Feminist Blogger Melissa McEwan: 'I just loathe the kind of blogging Glenn Sacks does'

"Be the change you want to see in the world"--Mahatma Gandhi

In this recent blog comment, feminist blogger Melissa McEwan of the popular feminist blog Shakesville wrote the following to me:

"I just loathe the kind of blogging you do (and I know there are lefties who do it, too), where the whole point is just ginning up outrage at another blogger. I almost never link to and/or discuss rightwing or MRA bloggers' posts, because I know the Shakers will agree with my assessment, and that there is a possibility that some will just be unnecessarily disruptive or rude in the other blogger's thread. More than that, it doesn't give my readers anything new to think about.

"Put forth your own ideas, new ideas within your own paradigm, instead of just pointing to me (or other feminists) and saying: 'Look how dumb these feminists are'...You're just really not making the blogosphere, no less the world, a better place that way. Be better than that."

My post that Melissa didn't like was Feminist Melissa McEwan: If You're Not a Feminist, You Can't Be a Progressive. I thought my point was a legitimate one and not designed as a personal attack, but Melissa is free to disagree.

On the larger issue, Melissa certainly has a valid point about the blogosphere in general, but as for me, I think she's barking up the wrong tree. On countless occasions I have either:

1) Devoted a blog post to an issue where I thought the feminist position was correct.

2) Devoted a blog post to an issue where I thought the anti-feminist or men's rights activist position was wrong.

3) Criticized woman-bashing.

4) Taken an objective, even-handed look at a feminist issue.

I don't want to spend all day gathering and linking to a 100 of my blog posts, so I decided to limit myself to 15--they're listed below. I think you would rarely if ever see similar types of posts from Melissa (or fellow Shakesville blogger Jeff Fecke) or feminist bloggers Jessica Valenti or Amanda Marcotte. It seems that whenever they discuss a men's issue or a men's rights activist they have nothing but contempt for the target of their post, and pour derision on him (along with a bunch of F-bombs and vulgarities).

For example, right now Melissa's blog has a headline up about me which calls me a "Mendacious A**hole." In fact, the headline remains up there even though Melissa now concedes that the accusation against me was incorrect.  Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world"--I would advise Melissa to take his advice.

If Melissa, Jeff, Jessica, Amanda or their readers/supporters feel that I am in error and would like to lead me to post(s) where these bloggers have discussed men's issues or men's rights activists sympathetically, I will be sure to include them here for my readers.

Glenn' list for Melissa (Abbreviated Version)

Feminist Susan Estrich Has a Point About Katie Couric/Middle East Controversy

Feminist Writer Ann Friedman Has a Point

Are Feminist Protesters Correct on the Cassandra Hernandez Rape Case?

I Agree with the Feminists on this One

The Feminists Are Right This Time

Murderous Florida Father Deserved a Necktie Party, not Shared Parenting

Sorry but I'll Have to Pass

Feminist Blogger Ampersand Has a Point About Girls' Doll

The Marcotte Controversy--More Lunacy from Their Side, and Now Some Lunacy from 'Our' Side

Feminist Blogger: Society 'Robs the Hearts of Men'

Misogyny and Stupidity Over Female Baseball Umpire

Confronting Woman-Bashing in the Men's Movement

You Be the Judge--NOW Claims This Ad Is 'Offensive to Women'--Is It? (Part I)

You Be the Judge--NOW Claims This Ad Is 'Offensive to Women'--Is It? (Part IV)

You Be the Judge--NOW Claims This Ad Is 'Offensive to Women'--Is It? (Part V)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Faced with a Divorce? Need Help with Family Law? Child Custody? Child Support? Parental Alienation? False Accusations?

Check Out Glenn's New Family Law Help Directory. The Directory Has Experts From All over the Country Who Can Help You

Woman Falsely Accuses Man of Rape--then Judge Lectures Man for His 'Lack of Morals'!

A college student had his life turned upside down and nearly ruined by a woman's false rape accusation--and then the judge has the goddamn gall to lecture him for having an alleged "lack of morals"! After that, the judge sympathizes with the false accuser, calling it a "sad case."

Perhaps the English press doesn't have the same prohibition on naming rape accusers as the US does, because the story does contain the false accuser's name and picture. She's Louise Ndikum and she's pictured to the right. She should also go to prison for 10 years, though I doubt she'll ever spend a day there...

The full story is below--thanks to Tim, a reader, for sending it.

Student's nightmare over false rape claim

A man's life was left in tatters by a woman who falsely cried rape.

Louise Ndikum spun a 10-month tissue of lies which ended with innocent Alexesi Chua having to appear in court.

He broke down in the witness box as he was forced to give evidence even though the single mum had admitted perverting the course of justice.

Ndikum –originally told police she had been raped in the street by a stranger. And when confronted by detectives she continued to lie – this time claiming she had been raped by a man in his house.

Ndikum admitted lying to police but maintained her charade until the bitter end at Portsmouth Crown Court.

Ten months after first crying wolf Ndikum continued to claim innocent Mr Chua had raped her.

And Mr Chua had to take the witness stand and swear he had not attacked Ndikum even though police had already dropped all investigations against him.

He denied overpowering Ndikum at his home in Baileys Road, Somers Town, Portsmouth, and sobbed: 'It's not me wasting everybody's time. It upsets me. I don't know anything of that.'

Mr Chua said he met Ndikum as he walked home on June 1 last year. He responded to a wolf whistle from a garden, spoke to Ndikum – who had been drinking – and a friend, and gave her his mobile number.

Later the same day the couple met up and went to Mr Chua's house where they had consensual sex in his bedroom.

Afterwards Ndikum told a friend she had been raped in the street and police were called.

University of Portsmouth student Mr Chua was arrested on June 12. Mobile phone records confirmed his version of events and Ndikum was arrested.

The court was told she lied to police during interview, before being shown phone records and admitting she lied about being raped in Baileys Road. Instead, she claimed she was raped by Mr Chua in his bedroom.

Judge Ian Pearson said of Ndikum: 'I have to say I do not find her story credible.' And he added: 'Although Mr Chua could be criticised for perhaps his lack of morals and scruples, the sexual intercourse that took place that night was consensual. This is a sad case of a lady having consumed alcohol having sexual intercourse with a man she recently met then regretting it.'

Pat Brooks, the chief executive of Portsmouth Area Rape Crisis Service, said: 'It takes a tremendous amount of courage for a person to go to the police and say they've been raped. Men and women should not be put off by this case.'

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally experienced the heartbreak of divorce and family breakup, Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to advance the interests and concerns of fathers in domestic and family law litigation. Personal attention is given to clients to help them through a very difficult time in their lives. www.brettwmartin.com

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Darren Mack: You Decide--Here's the Video of the Last 10 Minutes Before Mack Shoots Judge Weller

Background: In June 2006, Darren Mack, a wealthy Nevada father who was involved in a divorce, stabbed his estranged wife to death and then executed a well-planned murder attempt on a Nevada judge. Mack shot and wounded the judge but failed to kill him.

At the time of Mack’s murder spree, I wrote:

“I condemn without qualification the crimes allegedly committed by Darren Mack in Nevada last week. Mack was angered by his divorce and custody case. Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe of the fathers' rights movement see Mack as some sort of freedom fighter. Most of the commentary by other fathers' rights advocates seem to be of the ‘he couldn't take it anymore and snapped’ variety. I don't buy it."

My position on Mack has inspired a lot of hostility from some posters on other men's and fathers' rights blogs. In February Mack got what he deserved--a life sentence. To learn more, see my blog post Justice Is Served: Darren Mack Gets Life Sentence.

All of my previous posts about the Mack case can be seen here.

Below I have the video of the last 10 minutes before Darren Mack (pictured right) shoots Judge Weller (pictured above). This is from the court hearing on May 24 2006. It was the last legal proceeding or interaction of any kind between Mack and Weller before Darren Mack killed Charla and shot Weller with a sniper rifle from over 100 yards away on June 12, 2006.

At the time of this hearing, the Macks shared 50-50 joint physical custody of their now 10-year-old daughter Erika. The Macks were still working out remaining issues in their divorce, and a subsequent hearing was scheduled for September 2006.

Readers can watch the interaction between the Macks, their attorneys, and Judge Weller and decide for themselves. Did Weller mistreat Darren Mack? Is the "tyrant in black robes" who pushed Mack over the edge?

To watch the video, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.  

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond
Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Fathers are an essential part of a child's life--divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org

FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS?
Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense.
Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson
www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

Ned Holstein: How Much is Paternity Fraud Worth?

Ned Holstein of Fathers & Families has an interesting post on paternity fraud and the devaluation of the father-child bond. Holstein writes:

"Two mothers are suing an Illinois hospital because their newborn babies were switched at birth. Although the mistake was rectified within hours, Mary Jo Bathon and Kassie Hopkins are each demanding $50,000 for the mistake.
 
"It is interesting to note the different levels of importance society attaches to mother-child mix-ups versus father-child mix-ups. Hospitals take elaborate precautions to match the right mother to the right newborn  -- wristbands immediately after birth, footprints, and more.
 
"When it comes to paternity, few steps if any are taken to ensure that babies are matched to the right fathers, even though a simple DNA test, now available for under $30 from RiteAid pharmacies, will do the trick."

Read the full post here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Venus: The Dark Side
Discover how she has 'played' you. For the first time ever, a book that tells you exactly how manipulative and deceitful women win against their unsuspecting prey – and there's detailed information about what you can do about it. Read Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary's book "Venus: The Dark Side".  Amazon 5 star reviewers say "An astounding book." "Required reading for all young men today." Visit www.venusthedarkside.com

Steve Moxon's The Woman Racket
The Woman Racket is a serious scientific investigation into one of the key myths of our age – that women are oppressed by the ‘patriarchal’ traditions of Western societies. Drawing on the latest developments in evolutionary psychology, Moxon finds that the opposite is true – men, or at least the majority of low-status males – have always been the victims of deep-rooted prejudice. As the prejudice is biologically derived, it is unconscious and can only be uncovered with the tools of scientific psychology. Moxon reveals this prejudice in fields as diverse as healthcare, employment, family policy and politics.

A Suggestion for the Advertising Industry

Background: Recently my column Advertisers: Men Are Not Idiots (4/14/08), co-authored with Richard Smaglick, appeared in Advertising Age, one of the largest advertising industry publications. To write a Letter to the Editor, click on editor@adage.com.

The column grew in part out of a controversy in February, when Advertising Age columnist Jonah Bloom launched a misguided attack on us and our campaigns against anti-male advertising. Bloom wrote:

"A loose coalition of these hombres against humor has formed in the past few years...In particular they spent several months 'torturing,' as one ad exec put it, Arnold Worldwide, which was considered guilty of 'contemptuous depictions' of men in its ads for Fidelity Investments. The group even tried to persuade Volvo not to give its account to Arnold.

"The media's complicity in all of this is only one of the depressing things about it. There's also the sad fact that marketers and their agencies take these people seriously, scrapping ad campaigns based on 'backlash' from a dozen consumers...the people who use such tactics undermine their own case by endlessly parsing sales material until they find something offensive."

Bloom, to his credit, did engage with Smaglick and I, and showed an open mind on the issue. (I commended him for this in my post A Classy Response from Ad Age Editor in Wake of Harsh Column). In the wake of that controversy, Richard and I worked with CMO Strategy Editor Jennifer Rooney (pictured) to publish an op-ed expressing our views on the problems with advertising industry's depiction of men and fathers.

In our column we offered some suggestions for the advertising industry. In one, we pointed to three examples of male-positive ads, and encouraged advertising industry executives to create more of this type of marketing. The ads were:

1) AT & T's touching, father-daughter ad "Monkey"--to watch, click here.
 
2) First Choice Holidays' father-son ad "Slow Motion Hugs"--to watch, click here.

3) Ford's father-son ad "We Know"--to watch, click here.

To learn more about the way men and fathers are portrayed in advertising, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here

Help, Resources for Dads
The National Fathers' Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Ft. Worth. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers' rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org

Parental Alienation: How to Overcome It
J. Michael Bone is an eminent authority on Parental Alienation. Starting in late April Michael is going to be doing a four-part Teleseminar on how targeted parents can overcome Parental Alienation. The 4 week telewebcast series begins Tuesday April 29 from 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. EDT, and runs each Tuesday through 5/20. In it, Bone identifies the four major mistakes targeted parents make. Bone's Teleseminar also includes 4 MP3 recordings of each session to download to keep for listening on-demand, and Study Guides sent to you in advance, providing details for each session. The price is only $39--to register, click here or go to www.overcomingparentalalienation.com.

Nancy Grace Beats up on 'Deadbeat Dads', ex-NBA Player Jason Caffey

"[Ex-NBA Player] Jason Caffey has paid millions of dollars in child support, amounting to 95 percent of what he was ordered to pay, and now they want to jail him for the 5 percent he has been unable to pay."

A tough gig for Dr. Ned Holstein of Fathers & Families on Nancy Grace, but he held up well. I've little sympathy for men who have a bunch of kids by a bunch of different women, but I also hold the women involved responsible. As Holstein notes, while the men are vilified, the mothers "garner money, public support, respect as courageous single mothers, and victimhood status."

More than this, I have a big problem with calling a guy who has apparently paid millions of dollars in child support a "deadbeat dad."

Nancy Grace, however, was enjoying beating up on Caffey (pictured) and other so-called "deadbeat dads." To read more and to watch the debate, click here.

Some of you may remember that Nancy Grace was one of the media's lead witch hunters during the Duke University Lacrosse "rape" case. To learn more, see my blog post CNN's Nancy Grace & the Duke Lacrosse Case.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.  

Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com
Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Nine states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.

The Rogue Wallet: a Scientific, Stylish Solution
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Tiger Woods: 'I love my dad and I miss him very much' (Video)

"My dad was out there today, keeping me calm...I love my dad and I miss him very much."

Tiger Woods' father Earl died in 2006 at age 74. In this video clip, Tiger Woods talks about how much his late father Earl meant to him, as he accepts his 11th major golf trophy.

Eugene Robinson wrote in the Washington Post:

"Earl Woods did much more than raise a supremely talented golfer. In an age when it's rare to read a sentence with the words 'African American' and 'father' that doesn't also include 'absent' or some other pejorative, Earl and Tiger Woods were the world's most visible, and inspiring, counterexample. 'He was the person I looked up to more than anyone,' Tiger Woods said following his father's death, and even the world's biggest cynic had to know he meant every word.

"To me, the two defining aspects of Tiger Woods's career have been his supernatural ability to make a golf ball do impossible things and his relationship with his father. Two moments stand out: The Sunday afternoon in 1997 when Tiger became the first black man ever to win the Masters and cried like a little boy in the arms of his father, who was there against doctor's orders after almost dying in heart surgery. And the Sunday afternoon in 2005 when Tiger won his fourth Masters and cried again, because Earl Woods, for the first time, had been too sick to come to the course and root him on."

To watch the video of Tiger talking about his dad, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for NYC Fathers
The Law Office of Tracey A. Bloodsaw provides quality family law services at affordable rates. We pride ourselves on serving a community that is often neglected--fathers. Our areas of practice include: divorce; child custody/visitation; child support; domestic violence; and many others. Call 718.274.1599 or go to www.traceyabloodsaw.com.

Family Law Help for Dads Nationwide
The Alliance for Single Parents helps dads nationwide with child custody, child support, Parental Alienation, and other family law problems. If you've got a family law problem and are looking for a resolution at a reasonable price, call the Alliance for Single Parents at 1-888-937-3466 (1-888-We're Home) or email them by clicking here. www.allianceforsingleparents.com

Steve Moxon: Have Women Been 'Oppressed' Historically?

"It’s neither in pre-, nor late-medieval, but in recent history that supposed incontrovertible evidence exists that the lot of women was as the ‘oppressed’.

"Flagship status goes to the issue of the vote…[but] it turns out that the real struggle for the franchise was that of ordinary men – who paid the taxes and were drafted into the armed forces to fight the wars their taxes paid for. These were the people who for centuries, millennia even, were denied democracy, not women."
 
Norman L., one of the top blog commenters on this site (see the "Top Commentators" rankings in the right-hand column of my home page) is a big fan of The Woman Racket (pictured) by Steve Moxon. Moxon makes the point that because people are judged in large part by their "mate value," most men, being of low-status, have always been the victims of deep-rooted prejudice.

Norman sent me several excerpts from the book which I think are thought-provoking. One of them--"Historical Blindsight"--is below.

I don't buy Moxon's overall argument here, because I think there's been plenty of oppression of women in history, a portion of which continues today. However, he certainly makes an interesting point. And I think Moxon and I would agree that there's been far more exploitation of poor/low status men by wealthy/powerful men than there's been exploitation of women by men.

The Woman Racket - Chapter 7: Historical Blindsight

The position women are in today is so obviously a good one that those who argue men have ‘power’ over women usually resort to pointing out how clearly women were disadvantaged in the past. Mere mention of the vote or of marriage or child custody in times not so long ago, closes down debate. But it doesn’t take much probing beneath the surface of what apparently used to be the lot of women, to see that very far from disadvantage, women enjoyed privilege…

It’s a mistake to view the past through the eyes of today. Our own perspectives imposed, anachronistically, on the behavior and thinking of people in former times is unfair. It would be silly to take our notions of social justice in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries and, finding such principles not apparent in Victorian and earlier times, to then castigate society in earlier periods for unfairly disadvantaging women. Disadvantaged compared to whom? You have to make comparison with others at the same time, and take account of what was then feasible.

This is exactly the mistake we make though. We’re blinded to the possibility that conceptions of social justice as they were at different periods in history may have secured the optimum benefits to women under the constraints that were then operating; and that in no sense were women ‘oppressed’, nor men unduly favored. It turns out that, if we take the blindfolds off, it’s apparent not just that people at the time perceived that women were not disadvantaged, but that indeed women were as privileged throughout history as they are today. The privilege that women enjoy is not contingent on any historical factors, but is biologically based.

It’s neither in pre-, nor late-medieval, but in recent history that supposed incontrovertible evidence exists that the lot of women was as the ‘oppressed’. Flagship status goes to the issue of the vote…[but] it turns out that the real struggle for the franchise was that of ordinary men – who paid the taxes and were drafted into the armed forces to fight the wars their taxes paid for. These were the people who for centuries, millennia even, were denied democracy, not women. Where women had a direct interest, they have always had the vote. So it was that from time immemorial women have been enfranchised in their local communities, and when issues that concerned women moved up to the national women, then women were given the parliamentary ballot in an historical blink of the eye.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here

Faced with a Divorce? Need Help with Family Law? Child Custody? Child Support? Parental Alienation? False Accusations?

Check Out Glenn's New Family Law Help Directory. The Directory Has Experts From All over the Country Who Can Help You

Feminist Blogger: Society 'Robs the Hearts of Men'

Misguided feminists do occasionally acknowledge the problems men face in our society, under the rubric of PHMT (Patriarchy Hurts Men Too). I don't agree with their line of thinking, since I think the American patriarchy is a joke. (Under what "patriarchy" could a man be thrown out of his own house and cut off from his own kids on a restraining order, without even so much as a hearing, just because his wife claims, without any evidence, that he threatened her?)

OK, enough about that. I do like to compliment feminists when they try to be fair and understanding, and here's an example. In "Robbing the Hearts of Men," a recent blog post by blogger "PortlyDyke" of the popular feminist blog Shakesville, she writes:

"It's long been my view that sexism and misogyny do every bit as much damage to men as to women....I believe that the very things that men complain about -- needing to be 'the strong one', 'the provider', the 'bread-winner' -- are a direct result of sexism and misogyny which attempts to cast human beings in rigid gender-based roles from which they believe they cannot escape.

"I believe that the very things that men complain about -- feeling under- or un-appreciated, misunderstood, or unseen -- are compounded by the fact that the gender-based role of the guy is to be 'strong and silent' -- to "suck it up and be a man" -- because, if he's doing that, how are we supposed to know what's going on inside him?

"I think that, at the level of basic existence as a human being, any privilege obtained by being male in this culture is probably cold comfort when you consider the real toll that sexism and misogyny take on those who identify as, or are considered Man/Male/Men/Males.

"Here's one of the ways that I believe this toll is taken:

"In our society (at least), the following traits are considered primarily "female/womanly":

"Tender, Emotional, Vulnerable, Receptive, Passive, Compassionate.

"(OK -- you can argue with me about this if you want, but I challenge you to ask 10 people who you know to listen to these words read aloud -- without prepping them beforehand about the context of your query -- and ask them to assign the words as either Male or Female. I'm not saying that this is "what is so" about men and women, I'm saying that this is the overwhelmingly common cultural perception/expectation.)

"This is where the toll is paid:

"If you are living in a misogynist, sexist society where privilege is awarded automatically by virtue of manliness/maleness or perceived manliness/maleness, and therefore, being womanly/female is an undesirable (if not despicable) position, then you are going to work hard to avoid the culturally-acceptable traits of womanliness.

"This, I believe, is one of the tragedies of sexism for men in our culture -- the abrogation of their right to "have a heart" -- a full-range emotional body.

"Men feel -- because they're human. They experience moments of tenderness, and vulnerability, and emotion (yes, emotions other than rage) -- as well as moments of compassion, and receptivity, and passivity.

"The problem is: They can't express that without looking like a woman. Which, in a sexist, misogynist society, would be a bad thing. A thing that loses you jobs, and gets you called "pussy", and "mangina", and subjects you to suggestions that you "sit to pee" -- which would all be BAD, because being anything like a woman/female human is BAD.

"Bad and wrong.

"Eve-In-The-Garden-Bad-Apple Wrong.

"Condemning-The-Entire-Human-Race-To-An-Awful-Existence Wrong.

"This is one of the tolls of sexism and misogyny for men -- they are robbed of their hearts...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Falsely Accused? How to Get Beyond the 'He Said/She Said' Dilemma
Restraining orders and supervised visitation orders are often issued after relying solely on statements made by the accuser and the accused. Borders, McLaughlin & Associates are former police detectives who employ a new and different approach to such cases. Their Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Risk Assessments are designed to prove or disprove abuse allegations, and to answer the questions judges face. Contact them at (888) 621-1900 or go to www.bmaa.com

Help for San Diego, Riverside Fathers
The Law Offices of Robert M. Bennett provides caring and compassionate divorce and family law services to clients in San Diego and Riverside Counties. His areas of practice include every aspect of family law, such as divorce, paternity, child custody, child support, spousal support, property division, and post-divorce modification of existing orders. Call 760-631-2082 or go to www.robertmbennett.com

 High School Boy Suspended for 2 Days for Taking Phone Call from Dad--a Soldier in Iraq

As a former high school teacher, I can understand teachers' annoyance with cell phones and phone calls, but the school seems to have really overreacted here. Thanks to Kelly, a reader, for sending the story.

Student suspended for answering call from dad in Iraq
KXAN, 4/15/08

AUSTIN, Texas (KXAN) -- A call from a parent stationed in a war zone has landed a Texas high school student in hot water, and his mother is asking the school to ease up on the punishment.

The Copperas Cove High School sophomore received an urgent call from his father and was suspended after taking the call during class.

Master Sgt. Morris Hill is a world away in Iraq, so he had no idea that a simple call from the battlefield to his son, Brandon, would land the 16-year-old in a heap of trouble.

"He called me during class, because that's the only time that he could," said Brandon Hill, suspended for using a cell phone. "I answered the call as I was walking out of class. The teacher followed me out and said, ‘Oh what are you doing?' I said my dad was calling from Iraq, and I know he needs to talk to me."

At the high school, which is 85 miles from Austin, students are not allowed to carry cell phones.

Yet Pat Hill said before her husband left for Iraq, he made a special arrangement with the assistant principal.

"He had spoken with Mr. Fletcher," said Pat Hill. "He thought there was an agreement understood that if he called either Joshua or Brandon at school, that everything was fine.

Brandon Hill was sent to the office and suspended for two days for answering his father's call.

"It's crazy with everything that's going on," Brandon Hill said.

"If this would have been the last phone call from my husband, and he's in trouble for it and then has to deal with something happening to his dad that would be even harder," Pat Hill said. She added that she was outraged her son was suspended, and then it took a week to get a meeting with the principal.

Read the full article here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Jeff Leving's New Book--Divorce Wars
Jeffery M. Leving, one of America's most prominent divorce lawyers, has written a new book on how to win any divorce fairly, even when your spouse brings out the heavy artillery. Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes, and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets Ugly provides essential advice on everything from picking the right lawyer and devising a winning settlement strategy to getting the most from your day in court and dealing with an ex-spouse. Divorce Wars is available here.

SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers
If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men.
Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com

3 Deserving Dads, but Only 1 Gets to Be a Father...

In my recent blog post Father of Newborn 'Did Everything One Would Hope a Man in His Position Would Do'--but It Wasn't Enough, we discussed the case of an embattled California father, Jorge C., who fought a long, hard and ultimately unsuccessful battle to be a father to his baby boy.

The boy's birth was hidden from him and the mother gave the child up for adoption after, according to one judge, she had “engaged in a web of lies.”

The case was reminiscent to varying degrees of both the Anna Nicole Smith/Larry Birkhead/Dannielynn paternity case from last year and the Mark Huddleston case in New Mexico. Of the three cases, the only father to be reunited with his baby was Larry Birkhead (pictured), and that only occurred because the baby's mother died.

I co-authored a column on Birkhead and Huddleston last year--Anna Nicole Dispute Shows System's Flaws (Chicago Sun-Times, 3/10/07, Detroit News, 3/20/07). It appears below. Isn't Birkhead's little daughter beautiful? Reminds me of when my girl was that little--those were the days...

Anna Nicole Dispute Shows System's Flaws
By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks

Behind the Anna Nicole Smith circus lies an important truth about fathers’ rights. The long line of opportunistic men who have lined up to be Smith’s baby’s dad since Smith’s death has diverted attention from the case’s key fact: photographer Larry Birkhead, Smith’s ex-boyfriend, has a legitimate claim to paternity. He has been thwarted for several months by the same legal maneuvers which are often employed to separate fathers from their children.

Long before Smith died and her estate became an issue, Birkhead had filed for a DNA test to determine the paternity of Smith's baby. In December he told the Associated Press, "I am the father of Dannielynn and I think this is...a crime. I expect to be reunited with my daughter." Birkhead says he and Smith had picked out baby names, shopped for items for the baby, and had put their thumb prints in a baby book as the child's parents. Nevertheless, the baby has lived at the home of Smith and her attorney/boyfriend Howard K. Stern in the Bahamas since birth.

Rather than allow the DNA test, Smith and Stern apparently decided to use a common ploy in paternity cases—they stalled. If the DNA test is delayed long enough, by the time biological paternity is established the judge deciding custody will likely decide that Stern is the baby’s “psychological parent.”

Judges are understandably reluctant to remove infants from the care of the only parent or parents they've known, regardless of actual paternity. Stern is many things, but he isn’t stupid. He knows that in child custody cases the baby is like the football in a football game—whoever has possession is in control.

This tactic is frequently employed in adoption cases...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Midwest Fathers
Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com
Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody
Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell

Actress Michelle Rodriguez--Anti-Male Bigot?

Ann Friedman, editor of the prominent feminist blog www.feministing.com, praises a recent statement from actress Michelle Rodriguez in this new blog post:

"I wasn't surprised to read [Michelle's] awesome response to repeated prying questions from journalists about whether she's secretly into girls. She explains:

"'I picture [the journalists] turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off. I don't answer those questions.
 
"'I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna f**k a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business...What do you care who I'm dating? I can tell when somebody just wants to know about sex. And it makes me sick."

I'm considerably less enthusiastic about these comments than Friedman is. While I certainly defend Michelle Rodriguez's right to date men or women, have sex with men or women, and yes, marry a man or marry a woman, I'm not crazy about her description of male journalists "turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and...jerking off." I have several objections:

1) It's very dehumanizing. Journalists can be annoying, but they're human beings, not pigs or perverts.

2) The gender double standard. Were a male movie star to describe women journalists in an equally insulting way, the mainstream media would be all over it, including www.feministing.com, and the guy would be lucky to save his career.

3) She's stigmatizing male sexuality. Men are visual, men like pretty women, men want to have sex with pretty women. Nothing wrong with it.

4) Michelle Rodriguez is wealthy and famous in large part because she is beautiful. It hardly seems fair for her to then be full of rage because men see her as sexy and are interested in her sex life. The public is interested in the sex lives of Hollywood celebrities. Rodriguez has every right to not answer the question, but little justification in being so offended by it.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Families Against Confiscatory Child Support (FACCS)
FACCS is the national voice for fair and reasonable child support. FACCS believes all parents have an obligation to support their children financially. However, in high income cases, state and federal laws often result in excessive awards that are effectively alimony in disguise and have little to do with supporting children. Huge child support awards lead to protracted custody disputes, undermines co-parenting, and leaves children worse off financially. www.faccsonline.org / contact@faccsonline.org

Help for Florida Dads
Neil Leavitt, PA helps Florida dads defend their relationships with their children during divorce or separation. Leavitt specializes in family law and has practiced law for nearly three decades. The Law Office of Neil Leavitt can be contacted by phone at (954) 989-5858.

Heroic Teen Boy Saves Kindergartener from Pit Bull Attack

A salute to 17-year-old Cody Phillips, who saved a five-year-old boy from a pit bull attack.

Teen saves child from dog attack
By DEON HAMPTON
Tulsa World, 4/15/2008
 
The 5-year-old apparently scaled a 6-foot fence and entered a yard containing pit bulls.
 
A Tulsa teen saved a child who was being attacked by a pair of pit bulls Saturday afternoon, authorities said.
 
Cody Phillips, 17, was cleaning the garage when he heard his mother scream, "They're attacking him."
 
"Him" was a 5-year-old boy who had wandered into a neighbor's yard.
 
Phillips, a Union High School student, rushed to the child's aid, scaring the dogs away.
 
"He's a hero," said Sgt. Jeff Davis.
 
Tulsa police responded to a dog-bite call in the 3700 block of 142nd East Ave. at 4 p.m., Davis said.
 
The boy, whose identity wasn't released, sustained multiple bites on his head and legs, officers said.
 
He was taken to a nearby hospital in good condition, Davis said.
 
Apparently, the boy, who lives two homes from Phillips, climbed over a 6-foot fence and into an adjacent yard where the two dogs were, police said.
 
Officers shot and killed one of the dogs, Davis said.
 
The other was taken to Tulsa Animal Shelter where quarantine tests for rabies will be conducted, he said.
 
If the tests are positive, the boy will have to undergo a series of rabies shots, Davis said.
 
Phillips and his mother, Shannon Ash, were cleaning the garage when Ash heard the boy screaming from next door.
 
Phillips rushed from the garage and jumped over his neighbor's fence to help the boy, Ash said.
 
"Blood was all over his head and legs," Phillips said.
 
"I was running so fast that I spooked the dogs and they ran in an opposite direction," he said.
 
"If it wasn't for Phillips, the child would have sustained more injuries," Davis said...
 
Read the full article here. Thanks to Bernie, a reader, for the story.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for Houston Fathers
The Law Offices of Thomas A. Martin helps fathers with Family Law and Criminal Defense in Houston and surrounding areas. Martin handles divorce, child custody, alimony, domestic violence, restraining orders and a wide variety of issues fathers face. www.thomasamartin.com

Help for Seattle Fathers
The Law Offices of O. Yale Lewis III is a one-person law firm that focuses on customer care. Mr. Lewis can help you identify and focus on the outcome that you want and implement the steps necessary to get there. www.yalelewislaw.com.

New Policy--The Word 'Nazi' Is Hereby Banned from My Blog (Part I)

"Godwin's law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one...Godwin's law is often cited in online discussions as a caution against the use of inflammatory rhetoric or exaggerated comparisons, especially fallacious arguments of the reductio ad Hitlerum form."--Wikipedia

Take a good look at the picture of Hitler--it's the last time you'll see or hear of him on my blog. I have long grown weary of Nazi analogies from blog commenters--we've had 750 different ones in the past year, according to my blog software.

I am banning the word "Nazi," "feminazi," and the name "Hitler." There are several reason for this:

1) The analogies are almost always spurious and often silly.

2) Reflecting the weakness of the American educational system and America's insularity, the individual involved usually does not know anything about the Nazis themselves, but simply doesn't know of any other tyrant to substitute, or thinks that other readers won't know of any. Usually "Nazi" is simply a way of saying "evil," with no particular reason to cite the Nazis in particular.

3) My family came from the town of Bialystok, once in Russia and now in eastern Poland. It was one of the first cities hit when Hitler invaded Russia on June 22, 1941, and the city was completely leveled. Between that and the Holocaust, most of my family was wiped out. When I visited Bialystok in 1984, I had my family's old address and other information, but the city had been so leveled and rebuilt that the information I had made no sense to anybody. Comparisons between this and anything happening to anybody in the United States today are beyond ludicrous.

Help for Orange County Dads--Free Consultation
Family law attorney J. Christian Conrad in Orange County, California helps fathers with divorce, child custody/visitation, child support, domestic violence, property division, alimony, and other family law problems. Call 949 457-0101 for a free consultation. www.jcc-law.com

Pre-Paid Legal Services for Divorced Dads
Pre-Paid Legal gives members access to professional legal counsel both for traditional legal problems and for everyday events where legal review should be routine, but rarely is. For Pre-Paid Legal members, access to legal counsel is only a toll-free phone call away. This is an ideal product for divorced dads--to learn more, click here or call Josh Case.

Ned Holstein on the Polygamist Ranch Case: 'Texas officials have no explanation for the whereabouts of the 38 lost boys'

Background: In his recent blog post Texas Polygamy Case: 'Boys as Young as 13 Are Expelled from Group & Left to Fend for Themselves', Ned Holstein of Fathers & Families wrote:

"Recent news reports about a Texas polygamist compound highlight the abuse of underage girls by compelling them to marry men two or three times their age under threat of excommunication.

"But very little attention has been paid to the abuse and neglect of the boys. Even those as young as 13 are frequently expelled from the compound and forced to fend for themselves without education, friends, or adult guidance..."

Ned has done some further investigation into this issue, including questioning Texas officials about the whereabouts of the 38 'Lost Boys'. His newest post on the issue is below.

The 38 Lost Boys of Texas
by Ned Holstein, MD, MS
San Angelo, Texas--On Tuesday, I asked whether the state of Texas had any concern for underage boys who are expelled from polygamous sects. Today I have the answer:  No.

All children under age 18  --  numbering 416 children  --  were removed from the Yearning for Zion Ranch (YFZ). Of these 416, only 27 are teenage boys. The law of averages tells us there should have been about 65 teenage boys. Thus, there are about 38 missing teenage boys. Most likely they were expelled by sect leaders prior to the official raids.

But the state of Texas apparently has no concern about 38 young boys left to fend for themselves. Today I spoke with Chris Van Duesen, a spokesperson for the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. According to him, there are no lost boys roaming the streets of Texas  -- the problem does not exist. He told me that if young boys were being expelled, the state would somehow know about it. Although boys are expelled in Utah, Van Deusen says it doesn’t happen in Texas. He has noticed that most of the children from YFZ are girls, but has no explanation for this peculiar fact. There are no plans to look for expelled boys...

Read more at Holstein's full post here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Divorce and Family Consultant Jayne A. Major, Ph.D. Helps Parents all over the United States
Dr. Major, founder of Breakthrough Parenting Services, Inc., helps dads all over the US with Parental Alienation Syndrome, child custody, preparing for psychological evaluations, dealing with personality disorders including BPD,
parenting and family relationship issues, and much more. Contact her at  jaynemajor@gmail.com or (310) 823-7846. For more info., click here.

Need Help with Divorce Debts?
Divorce often brings debt. Prosperity Financial can help. Prosperity Financial offers Debt Consolidation (CCCS), Debt Settlement, a Student Loan Consolidation program, and much more. Negotiate lower interest rates, avoid nasty creditors and improve your credit. Call 1-888-611-2809 or visit www.prosperityfinancial.org.

In Defense of Janet Jenkins, Lesbian Mom

According to Virginia Supreme Court to Weigh in on Lesbian Couple's Custody Battle (CNSNews.com, April 15, 2008):

"The Virginia Supreme Court will hear oral arguments Thursday in a case involving a lesbian couple fighting over who gets full custody of a five-year-old girl. Janet Jenkins, former partner of Lisa Miller, is suing for custody of Miller's biological daughter even though Jenkins is not an adoptive or biological parent.

"Jenkins and Miller (pictured with their baby) entered into a Vermont civil union in 2000 while living in Virginia. Miller got pregnant through artificial insemination from an anonymous donor and gave birth to her daughter in Virginia. The relationship eventually ended."

I've covered this case on numerous occasions. After their breakup, Miller, the biological mother, moved to Virginia with their daughter Isabella, won sole custody, and excluded Jenkins from the girl’s life. Miller’s actions read like a checklist of what heterosexual women sometimes do to the fathers of their children, including: move the child far away; deny the noncustodial parent the opportunity to visit or co-parent the child; make an unsupported, dubious and oh-so-convenient accusation of abuse against the noncustodial parent; and pretend that the noncustodial parent is out-of-line or acting against the child’s best interests by wanting to continue the relationship with the child.

In my co-authored column, Ruling in Vermont Same-Sex Child Custody Case: Lesbian Moms, Divorced Dads in Same Boat (Rutland Herald & various others, 12/10/06), I supported lesbian social mom Janet Jenkins in her struggle to remain a part of her daughter's life. I wrote:

"In a highly-publicized new decision, a Virginia appeals court ruled recently in favor of a lesbian social/non-biological mother in her custody battle against her child’s biological mother. The former couple, Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins, joined in a same-sex civil union in Vermont in 2000 and had a child together in 2002. After their breakup, Miller, the biological mother, moved to Virginia with their daughter Isabella, won sole custody, and excluded Jenkins from the girl’s life.

"Opponents of gay marriage, gay activists and the media have focused almost exclusively on the new decision’s impact on same-sex marriage. Lost in this, however, is the fact that the case is a textbook example of one of America’s greatest social problems—the refusal of many divorcing mothers to allow their children to continue to have a relationship with their former spouses.

"During Jenkins’ and Miller’s same sex-union Jenkins did everything she could do to be a good parent to their child. She was involved with the pregnancy from the beginning, was present in the delivery room, worked to support the family, and played an important role in Isabella’s life. Following their breakup she was granted visitation rights but Miller refused to comply. After the new ruling, Miller's side vowed to further appeal the case to deny Jenkins access to the girl. Miller says she does not want Jenkins to have any visitation rights, and has not allowed her to see their daughter since 2004.

"Increasingly, other lesbian social mothers are suffering similar injustices. For example, in the A.H. v. M.P. case currently before the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, the trial court ruled against A.H., a lesbian social mother, who had been the primary breadwinner for her partner M.P. and their young son. After separation M.P. sought to minimize A.H.'s role in the boy’s life, arguing that since A.H. was not the child’s primary caregiver, she should not receive joint custody of the boy...

"The problems heterosexual mothers create for their children and their ex-partners have been largely ignored, partly due to misleading stereotypes of abusive and/or 'deadbeat' fathers. Today fit, loving, lesbian social mothers like Jenkins and A.H. and their children face similar mistreatment. Ladies, welcome to the club."

To learn more, see my blog posts Lesbian Mom Describes How She Got the Dad Treatment, Part I & Part II.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Listen to the Wisest of All
Listen to the Wisest of All is based on interviews with seniors between the ages of 88 and 104. The seniors honestly and eagerly shared unique insights, inspiring quotes, their strong spiritual beliefs, and their advice to the younger generation. Listen to the Wisest of All illustrates life through the retelling of the seniors' experiences. Their stories were gathered into vignettes that reveal the deeper nuances of life, love, and the passions that gave meaning to their lives. www.listentothewisest.com

Poppa Won by Michael Anthony
Children are sometimes used as pawns in custody battles. They get caught in the middle and can feel responsible, hurt, or confused.  Poppa Won is the true story of how one father refused to give up and fought through the courts to win shared parenting of his only child. Poppa Won helps teach non-custodial parents how to contend with the legalities of a custody war.  www.poppawon.com

Four More States Proclaim April 25th as Parental Alienation Awareness Day

The Parental Alienation Awareness Organization/ www.Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com has made more progress in gaining recognition of Parental Alienation, as three new states now recognize Parental Alienation Awareness Day--Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, and New York. This brings the total to 13 U.S. states, as well as Bermuda.

To learn more about Parental Alienation Awareness Day, visit the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization's website www.Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com. To learn how to get involved, contact Sarvy Emo at Tel: 416-840-5654, Fax: 866-232-8134 or at info@parental-alienation-awareness.com.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers' Rights Legal Help
If you need help with divorce, child custody, child support, alimony and visitation issues, The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving, Ltd. is one of the only law firms in the country focused almost exclusively on fathers' rights in divorce. Leving did heroic work on the Elian Gonzalez case, helping reunite Elian with his father. He also co-authored Illinois' Joint Custody Law, and was named one of "America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes Radio. Leving is the author of Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute. Call today for an initial consultation (312) 807-3990 or visit us on the web at www.dadsrights.com.
Legal Help for Los Angeles Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles and you're facing a divorce, separation, or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. www.OddLaw.net

www.WHYJUDGELITTLE.com
My goal is to inform the public about the rulings made by Madison County, Alabama, Judge Loyd H. Little, Jr. that have turned my son’s life upside down the past two years. Judge Little’s rulings affect everyone in Alabama because they become LAW. A judge ruled (made LAW) in Bayliss vs Bayliss (1989) establishing child support beyond age of 18 which is now applied standard statewide to all unmarried or divorced parents. – Chris Hobbs, Father www.WHYJUDGELITTLE.com

A Men's Rights Activist's Craigslist Personal Ad

Jim, a men's activist and a reader, recently sent me a personal ad that he put on Craigslist about a year ago. The ad he wrote is reprinted below. Jim says, "Funny thing is, I didn't get a single reply."

I suppose some readers will think the ad is great, but frankly what I see is a guy throwing a ton of unfair stereotypes and anger at his potential dates, just as feminist-minded women so often throw their anti-male prejudices and bitterness at men. Back in my dating years I didn't enjoy being on the receiving end of this bigotry, and I doubt the women reading Jim's ads would feel much differently.

Readers were angry over what author Colleen West had to say in my blog posts Feminist Author Wants Your Opinion for Her Book on Dating Part I & Part II, but Colleen's words are soft stuff compared to this.

Jim's Personal Ad

I am a male in my late 30's who is looking (or not looking) for the following in a woman:

1) Someone who is willing to pay her own way. Since professional urban women are now making more money than their male counterparts, women should be willing to split things down the middle when the check comes. After all, since today's career woman considers herself strong and independent, she should consider herself strong and independent when it comes to paying for things. That means that any woman with a $600 purse and a V.P. title who likes to dash off to the bathroom when the check comes NEED NOT APPLY HERE. You can go find yourself a sugar daddy somewhere else. (We call them IDIOTS where I come from.) All I'm asking for is a little moral and philosophical consistency. That isn't too much to ask, is it? It's not too much to call yourself a thing and then act in accordance with how you define that thing, right? Any less would be a bad show of character. And character is important.

2) Someone who takes personal responsibility for her actions - regardless of the consequences - and does not whine or blame someone else for her problems. Again, remember, you are a strong, independent woman, successful in your own right, through your own efforts.

3) No Entitlement Princesses. You will not be getting expensive gifts that you do not deserve. You will not be taken out to expensive restaurants just because you exist. Only people who deserve those things should get them. (Notice how I used the word 'People' and not merely 'Women.' This goes for both sexes. However, you may selectively quote as you wish.)

4) No feminists. Only people who believe in true equality in law and civil matters should apply. Special interest groups should address their replies to somewhere on K Street. If you are interested in expanding your entitlements, write your congressman.

5) If you want a sensitive man who's strong when you need him to be and who makes a good living preferably over $300,000 a year but isn't career obsessed who's in great physical shape but not overly body conscious and knows how to treat a woman except for when she doesn't want to be treated like a woman (fill in your definition of what it means to be treated like a woman here__________) and who likes to exercise but also likes to relax at home and snuggle up and who'll listen to all of your problems hour after hour and just nod his head in agreement and who understands who you truly are and will look deep into your soul to anticipate your every mood before it manifests as some kind of irrational behavior on your part then you should really find a therapist and stop wasting your time here...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads
Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com

LaMusga Divorce Financial Planning
Divorce brings about a myriad of financial challenges and changes. Often divorcing couples make important decisions in a rash manner, with emotions impairing their judgment. These decisions may at times serve the parties well in the short-term, but can result in damaging and unnecessary long-term financial hardships.  Gary has successfully completed the training and testing required for designation as a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM and can assist you and your attorney in the process. To learn more, click here or call 925-287-1567.  Tracking Number  6790, DOFU 11/07

Fathers & Families News Digest, 4/22/08

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families' latest News Digest.

Tennessee takes takes refund from parents owing child support (WVLT.com, 4/14/08)

State in search of deadbeat moms (WSMV.com, 4/14/08)

Immigrant spouse must be provided for despite divorce (The Star-Ledger, 4/14/08)

Homemakers could be big losers in divorce ruling (Tennessean, 4/15/08)

Some gay couples are having trouble obtaining divorces (Associated Press, 4/15/08)

Police nab suspect who owes $80,000 in child support (Middletown Journal, 4/16/08)

Divorce, unwed parenting costing taxpayers (Associated Press, 4/16/08)

Child Support Plan to Reduce Incarcerations (Washington Post, 4/17/08)

Hasselhoff to pay $25,000 a month to ex-wife, daughters (Associated Press, 4/17/08)

Queens mom sues bakeries for failing to garnish wages for child support (New York Daily News, 4/21/08)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here, or visit the Fathers & Families blog here.

Steven Carlson, the Custody Coach, has helped thousands of parents with child custody.

Steven Carlson's How to Win Child Custody
Are you contemplating divorce or separation but are unsure about how child custody will be determined or what you can expect from attorneys and the family court system? Knowing these things can help you win custody. Steven Carlson is the author of "How to Win Child Custody" and the founder of Child Custody Coach in Orange County, California. Don't get caught unprepared, download your copy of "How to Win Child Custody" today. If you need Steven's Custody Coach services, click here.

Be sure to add glenn@glennsacks.com to your address book or
safe sender list so our emails get to your inbox.

Augusta Chronicle Editorial Asserts Female Sentencing Discount in 'Barbie Bandits' Case

"Women just seem to get off easier than men in the criminal justice system...A five-year study by a Kansas State University professor, cited by men's and fathers' advocate Glenn Sacks in American Chronicle , revealed that male teachers receive 15 to 20 years in prison for improper relations with students, whereas female teachers receive, at the most, one to three years, and often get probation.

"A number of high-profile cases in recent years bear that out, including that of Debra Lafave, the former Florida teacher who faced a possible 30-year prison term for relations with a 14-year-old student but got three years of 'house arrest' instead...

"In another, much less publicized case, a 24-year-old woman in Pennsylvania received probation last year after having a child with a 14-year-old boy. What makes that case all the more telling is that the victim's older brother was serving prison time for having had sex with a 14-year-old girl."

The full Augusta Chronicle editorial is Not a black-and-white issue (4/14/08). It discusses the NAACP's assertion that the so-called "Barbie Bandits" (pictured) got off more lightly than their black accomplices because they're white. I believe in general that blacks are treated more harshly by the judicial system than whites, but that the disparity between the way males and females are treated is far, far wider.

The outrageous case involving the 24-year-old Pennsylvania woman is covered in my blog post Extreme Gender Bias: Woman Who Statutorily Raped Boy Avoids Jail, While Boy's Older Brother Goes to Prison for Same Crime.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody
Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org

Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com

This Sounds More Like an Example of Racial Progress than an Example of Racism

In the Yahoo article Has baseball lost the meaning of Jackie Robinson Day? (4/13/08), Los Angeles Angels outfielder Torii Hunter (pictured) is quoted as criticizing Major League Baseball for losing the meaning of its annual Jackie Robinson Day. According to the article:

"Hunter [says] 'This is supposed to be an honor, and just a handful of guys wearing the number. Now you've got entire teams doing it. I think we're killing the meaning. It should be special wearing Jackie's number, not just because it looks cool.'

"What upset Hunter, he says now, was this: the Houston Astros had no black players on their team last April, and yet the entire team wore No. 42. Said Hunter:

"'That got it away from, 'OK, we don't have any blacks,' he said. To Hunter, a roster with no black players did not represent the progress for which Robinson stood, and baseball celebrated according to a report in the Los Angeles Times."

Baseball certainly has an appalling past when it comes to it treatment of blacks, but I can't agree with Hunter's statement here. In fact, it seems that what he cites as a problem is more an indication of racial progress than racism.

Hunter is upset that the Houston Astros last year didn't have any black players, at least in April. Yet today blacks comprise only about 8% of the players in Major League Baseball. With one out of every 12 players being black, it wouldn't be particularly unusual for a team of 25 to not have a black player. (The domination of baseball by black players peaked in the 1970s and has waned ever since, not in favor or whites but in favor of Latinos, who are increasingly dominating baseball).

I suppose one could argue that blacks being 12% of the US population and only 8% of baseball is racism, but that doesn't seem likely to me. Baseball draws players from a huge number of countries, mostly in Latin America but also including Asia. For blacks to comprise 8% of the players seems reasonable enough.

But what Hunter misses is this--the Houston Astros, a team in the South with no black players, all decided to wear Jackie Robinson's no. 42, to honor Robinson. Doesn't that seem like progress?

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation cases are among the most difficult and complicated in family law. J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an expert on parental alienation. If you're a target parent, he can help you get back into your children's lives. Bone has worked as a custody evaluator and as a therapist and knows how to help the court find the truth. His services are available throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662 or by email by clicking here. www.jmbconsulting.org
How to Win Shared Custody
Here are the litigation secrets to winning shared physical & legal custody from Boston trial lawyer  Nick Palermo, Esquire  who has won these cases for 24 years.  It costs $5,000 or more in legal fees to gain the knowledge and guidance contained in this $10 handbook--The Ten Essential Elements to Winning Joint Shared Physical and Legal Custody. www.TenEssentialElements.com

Texas Polygamy Case: 'Boys as Young as 13 Are Expelled from Group & Left to Fend for Themselves'

"Recent news reports about a Texas polygamist compound highlight the abuse of underage girls by compelling them to marry men two or three times their age under threat of excommunication.

"But very little attention has been paid to the abuse and neglect of the boys. Even those as young as 13 are frequently expelled from the compound and forced to fend for themselves without education, friends, or adult guidance...

"The excommunication of boys has been occurring for years and nothing has been done. Are state officials ignoring this problem? Why? --  this is child neglect. Will charges be brought against the members of the sect for neglecting their male children, or only for the sexual exploitation of the girls?"

Excellent, excellent post by Ned Holstein of Fathers & Families on the Texas polygamy issue, pointing out the plight of hundreds of boys who have been booted out of the polygamist cult and cut off from their families. Read it here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Boston Dads
The Law Offices of Nicholas Palermo in every custody and support case, consistently promotes and advances the fundamental, Constitutional, equal right of all involved and fit Fathers, to raise and nurture their children.  In case after case, founder Nick Palermo establishes that Fathers are parents, not "visitors", and secures joint, shared custody, and equal parenting rights for both fit parents. In 2008 we celebrate our 22nd year as a downtown Boston trial and full service law firm.  LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Los Angeles Dads--Free Legal Consultation on Your Case
If you are involved in a divorce, domestic violence, paternity, child custody or support case in the greater Los Angeles area, call Stephen A. Gershman to schedule your FREE initial one hour consultation at (888) 295-1756 or (818) 990-6505. Gershman is certified as a Specialist in Family Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. He is an experienced attorney, over 25 years, who will competently and aggressively defend you against unjust domestic violence restraining orders or unfair financial obligations. When Parental Alienation or custody is an issue, he will help you protect your relationship with your kids. www.losangelesfamilylawyer.com

Feminist Melissa McEwan: If You're Not a Feminist, You Can't Be a Progressive

"If you're not a feminist, you're not a progressive."

Apparently men who don't subscribe to the modern, bastardized version of feminism aren't allowed to be in the Democratic Party/progressive/liberal camp any more. With what one might see as more than a little presumption, feminist blogger Melissa McEwan declared this yesterday in her Important Announcement:
 
"Feminism is an integral part of progressivism. If you're not a feminist, you're not a progressive. No matter how much you hate Bush. No matter how much you hate the Iraq war. No matter how much you hate our current torture policy. No matter how much you want to restore habeas corpus. No matter how much you're totally going to vote for the Democrat in November. If you're not a feminist, you're not a progressive. You're a fauxgressive."

This is particularly wrong when one considers fathers who are politically on the left. These dads are essentially being told that the price of their political beliefs is to support the same feminist political forces which have made it so difficult for divorced dads to have shared custody of their children and remain a part of their kids' lives. It's a good example of how the left drives men away.

[Late note: A feminist blogger pointed out that apparently the "open wide" and "shut up" that I originally quoted at the end of McEwan's piece are actually part of her blog's software and are not part of the post. I've deleted them--my mistake.]

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Legal Help for Fathers in New Jersey
 If you're a New Jersey father facing a divorce or separation, the law firm of Pitman, Pitman, Mindas, Grossman & Lee can help. PitmanLaw.com
Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law Attorney Lisa Scott's RealFamilyLaw.com exposes the truth about what is happening in our family law system. Lisa, the all-time leader in appearances on His Side with Glenn Sacks, says that she was "tired of having her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications and politically-correct newspapers" and decided to start her own website. RealFamilyLaw.com

Dance4Equality
Dance4Equality promotes awareness and advocacy for equal rights in family law through the beautiful uniqueness of dance. Led by Derek J. Bailey, an enrolled tribal member of the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, Dance4Equality has led protests against the Michigan family courts to promote equal protection for all in family law cases. To learn more, click here.

The Feminist Dissident: There Are Definitely Ways Women Are Disadvantaged

"As for ways women are disadvantaged, they are definitely there. Examples [include] hiring discrimination, which has been demonstrated experimentally; evaluation of work said to be done by women (whether it is actually done by women or is not) is judged to be inferior to that said to be done by men (whether it is actually done by men or not)."--Harq al-Ada, The Feminist Dissident

The purpose of "The Feminist Dissident" is to give feminists a chance to speak directly to my audience, and my audience to debate the issues with them in a civil manner. To read previous entries, click here.

The first two contributors to this are male feminist bloggers Dan Oppenheimer and Jamie Berger of the blog Masculinity and its Discontents. Below is a contribution from Harq al-Ada. If you are a feminist and are interested in submitting a blog post, please email me at glenn@glennsacks.com.

There Are Definitely Ways Women Are Disadvantaged
By Harq al-Ada

I don't like the word "patriarchy" for a couple of reasons. One, I can't get past its literal meaning which is rule by fathers. I do not think that nuclear family structures are nearly as patriarchal as they once were. The other reason is it sounds too all-pervasive. I think there are some areas where men are disadvantaged. As for ways women are disadvantaged, they are definitely there. Examples:

-Hiring discrimination, which has been demonstrated experimentally; evaluation of work said to be done by women (whether it is actually done by women or is not) is judged to be inferior to that said to be done by men (whether it is actually done by men or not)

-Female-dominated jobs losing prestige and wages (which hurts both men and women who choose those jobs). Examples include bank tellers, secretaries, and social scientists. When men dominated those fields, they paid more.

-Male social (conversational) dominance, demonstrated experimentally. Men interrupt more, express their opinions more, use dominant body language more, etc. This is only the case when men and women are talking with each other, which does not suggest an innate origin of these behaviors.

-Though men and women hit each other at similar rates in domestic situations and are as likely to initiate violence, the smaller proportion of domestic violence that is systematic and controlling enough to be called battery is more likely to be done by men against women, and women are more likely to retain serious injury in domestic violence and to be killed by it.

-There is still a sexual double standard, though it is far weaker than in the past, depending on the social circle (among some conservative Christians, the standard has not changed much).

-Though initial studies on the matter are flawed, they have since been corroborated by more valid ones: women are raped at disturbingly high rates.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Are you or someone you love being abused?
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families in order to help survivors recover from the trauma of domestic violence. Contact them by clicking here.
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Irish Singer Brian McFadden: Ex-Wife Won't Let Him Speak to Daughters on His Birthday

"Birthday boy Brian McFadden has revealed the bitter stalemate which exists between the Irish crooner and his ex-wife Kerry Katona. Despite being happily engaged to Sydney songbird Delta Goodrem (pictured), the former Westlife singer has made a rare admission about the poisonous relationship between him and the mother of his two daughters.

"Lamenting spending his birthday alone over the weekend - with Goodrem on promo duties in the US and his children in Katona's custody in the UK - McFadden said he was kept from his kids by his ex.

"Asked in an Australian radio interview this week if he'd received birthday messages from his daughters, Molly-Marie, 6, and Lilly-Sue, 5, a mopey McFadden carded Katona:

"'When they're not with me, the other side isn't too keen on helping (connect) like that. And I wouldn't accept them - (birthday cards) would probably have anthrax in them or something.'"

Rich man or poor man, famous or obscure, the story of the vindictive ex separating children from their father somehow always seems the same.

The full article is Brian bemoans toxic ex-wife (Daily Telegraph, 4/15/08). Thanks to Steve Bayliss for sending it.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com

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