An Announcement Regarding Our Campaign Against PBS's Anti-Father Breaking the Silence

April 17, 2006

The BBC recently did a program on the international fatherhood movement. The show featured segments from radio shows in South Africa, Australia, the Czech Republic, and His Side with Glenn Sacks here in the U.S. The program discussed the way England's Fathers 4 Justice helped bring the issue of fathers' rights into the public eye.

The segments from His Side were from the show Father Fights Adoption Agency for Right to Raise His Son (7/17/05), which discussed the Mark Huddleston case. Huddleston is the biological father of a 16-month-old child he says he wants to raise. But a judge has ruled the child should remain with its adoptive parents, who have had custody since the infant was three days old. Huddleston claims he didn't know the baby existed until two months after its birth, and the state said the private adoption agency hadn't properly notified Huddleston.

Despite doing everything possible to be a father to his son, Huddleston's baby boy was given away by a vindictive mother working hand in glove with a predatory adoption agency. Sixteen months and $70,000 in legal fees later, Huddleston has no rights to his own son. Huddleston, his attorney P.J. Hartman, and Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, were guests on the show.

To listen to the show, click here.

Parental Alienation Awareness Day

Parental Alienation Awareness Day on April 25 raises awareness about Parental Alienation Syndrome, the psychological abuse children suffer when a parent attempts to turn his or her children against the parent after divorce or separation.

Parental Alienation involves the systematic brainwashing and manipulation of children, both overtly and with subtle behaviors, that results in the destruction of a loving relationship they once shared with the parent. As a result, the child fears and/or hates the target parent without reason. According to psychologist Richard Warshak, author of Divorce Poison, in PAS cases "You will see a degree of contempt and cruelty reserved for one's worst enemies".

In my column PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily, 10/20/05), I described numerous Parental Alienation scenarios, including the following:

"'A four year-old boy is jumping up and down with joy.

"'Daddy! Daddy!'

"Dad gets out of the car.

"'Daddy's here! Daddy's here!'

"The boy is behind a locked screen door. He tries to open it.

"'Daddy's here! Mommy, look, daddy's here!'

"Dad knows he shouldn't open the door. He waits for his ex-wife to open the door. She doesn't do it.

"'This is my visitation time,' Dad says, waving a court document.

"Mom still won't open the door.

"The boy jumps up and down, saying 'daddy, daddy.' He yanks on the screen door handle but still can't get it open.

"Dad looks at his little boy. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and walks back to his car.

"The little boy doesn't understand. Why won't daddy come? Why is daddy walking away from him?

"The little boy disappears inside the house.

"Dad calls the police. When the officers arrive he shows them his court documents. The officers go inside to investigate. They come out a few minutes later.

"'Your son says he doesn't want to see you,' the officer says. 'There's nothing I can do. You'll have to deal with it in the court. I can't make him go with you if he doesn't want to.'

"Dad finally gets to see his kids three months later. The children spit on both him and their grandmother. Almost in unison they repeat 'I don't want to be here. I want to go home with mommy, I don't want to be here. I want to go home with mommy, I don't want to be here. I want to go home with mommy.'"

Experts backing Parental Alienation Awareness Day include Dr. Richard Warshak, Dr. Michael Bone, Dr. Reena Sommer, and numerous others. Warshak played an important role in the LaMusga move-away case in the California Supreme Court (to learn more, click here and here). Bone helps divorced parents through Tree House Solutions, which he co-founded. Sommer has done fine work on PAS, including during our Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the Silence and regarding the tragic Lohstroh Parental Alienation case. To hear Sommer discuss PAS and Lohstroh on His Side with Glenn Sacks, see The Lohstroh Case: Alienating Mother Pushes 10 Year-Old Boy to Kill Father (10/31/04).

To learn more about Parental Alienation Awareness Day, go to www.parental-alienation-awareness.com or write to them here.

Are You a Target of Parental Alienation Syndrome?

The sponsors of Parental Alienation Awareness Day are interested in hearing your PAS story. To tell your story, click here.

Some Feminist Domestic Violence Leaders Do Have Some Brain Cells Firing

My domestic violence column was written in response to a recent series of alarmist, manbashing articles in Chronicle. The article series to which this opinion column responds is (Traces of Danger Beneath the Calm and Deadly Warning, San Francisco Chronicle, 3/13/05).

At the time we invited Soler to discuss the issue with us on His Side with Glenn Sacks but she declined. However, I recently noticed some encouraging news about Soler in a Men's News Daily column by domestic violence expert Richard L. Davis called Mandatory Arrest and No-Drop Prosecution. Davis wrote:

"Soler believes that all acts of intimate partner violence are wrong. But, Soler acknowledges that domestic violence is not one person pushing another person once or twice because of an argument. Soler believes that domestic violence occurs when there is 'an ongoing pattern of fear, intimidation and violent assault.'"

Davis also has some positive news about Ellen Pence, who pioneered the highly-influential Duluth Intervention Project. In my column Domestic Violence Treatment Policies Put Abused Women in Harm's Way (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 11/7/05) I wrote:

"Current domestic violence treatment strategies are based on the Duluth model, which depicts domestic violence as a function of patriarchy and men's patriarchal privilege. This model assumes that the reason men physically abuse women is to maintain control over them. In ideologically-driven classes for offenders, men in need of serious psychological intervention are instead screamed at and called 'domestic terrorists' and 'fascists.'

"A recent report by the National Research Council's Committee on Law and Justice condemns these programs for failing to consider non-Duluth causes of domestic violence. The report criticizes the way batterers are 'treated as a homogeneous group,' and states that treatment programs are 'driven by ideology and stakeholder interests rather than by plausible theories and scientific evidence of cause.'

"While some domestic violence no doubt stems from a warped desire to control spouses or intimates, most experts believe that the roots of domestic violence generally lay elsewhere."

According to Davis, Pence "also believes that today's one-size-fits-all mandatory arrest and no-drop prosecution policies are not accomplishing what the Duluth Intervention Project intended. Pence acknowledges and understands that those who commit minor acts of 'family conflict' or one act of abuse are not 'batterers.'"

Davis' article criticizes the way the current domestic violence system hammers on anyone accused of abuse, regardless of whether the individual in question is truly a batterer or was instead involved in a minor and/or mutual physical confrontation, or was falsely accused altogether. I've discussed this problem in numerous columns, including Baseball Player's Domestic Violence Arrest Demonstrates How Men are Presumed Guilty in Domestic Disputes (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 8/8/02), VAWA Renewal Provides Opportunity to Stop Destruction of Innocent Cops' Careers (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, 7/19/05), and my co-authored Domestic Violence Lawsuit Will Help Secure Services for All Abuse Victims (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 12/28/05).

Domestic Violence Law Enforcement Policies Criticized by Ex-Cop

George Sperry, a retired police officer, echoes similar sentiments in a recent letter to the editor of a San Diego newspaper. Sperry wrote:

"I recall police training classes in the '70s and '80s--mandated after the earlier laws were passed--given by female instructors (never saw a male instructor), with their teachings so dripping with male hatred that everyone in the class felt uncomfortable, male and female officers alike. Truly abused women needed better laws to protect them, but not these. They also removed arrest decisions from the responding officer and we repeatedly had to arrest the man, some whose only crime was physically repelling a woman attacking him.

"In the hundreds of calls of domestic violence I responded to in my career, perhaps 90 percent to 95 percent were false, yet I saw children's and men's lives destroyed irrevocably due to vindictive, greedy, spoiled, mentally imbalanced, and/or drug-infested women perverting the judicial system. This is not to say the man was a pillar of virtue, just that the judicial sword was placed in the woman's hand by poor laws.

"The best I could do, in face of mandated laws, would be to also arrest the woman if there was sufficient evidence she also was violently involved (not self-defense reactions) or initiated the incident. On rare occasion, able to prove the woman's claim was false, I would arrest only her. Obviously, in those cases, I was not popular with whatever movement supported this 'Alice in Wonderland' approach, nor with supervisors or prosecuting attorneys so self-absorbed with political correctness that truth was irrelevant."

The Judi L. Noe case is....amazing. According to the Associated Press article Woman convicted of killing daughter gets protective order:

"A woman convicted of drowning her 2-year-old daughter obtained a protective order against the girl's father after she was released from prison earlier this week.

"Judi L. Noe, 36, served one year and 13 days in prison on a charge of voluntary manslaughter for drowning her daughter, Brieana Jaide Noe, in June 2004.

"The girl's father, Brad May, said Tuesday he was not surprised by the order, granted by an Allen Superior Court magistrate. He has been critical of the decision to release Noe.

"'I wish somebody would have put half this much energy into protecting Brieana as they are into protecting Judi now,' May said.

"Noe pleaded guilty but mentally ill to the reduced charges and was sentenced to serve five years of an eight-year sentence in prison, followed by three years on probation.

"Allen Superior Court Judge John Surbeck Jr. on Feb. 23 approved Noe's early release from prison and moved her to the county's re-entry program, which requires weekly court appearances and provides counseling and job-search assistance.

"Noe was scheduled to begin mental health treatment this week as part of her early release.

"The protective order prohibits May, who lives in Michigan, from contacting Noe in any manner, including by telephone, in person or by letter and from harassing, annoying, or threatening her for two years."

Amazing--she murders (OK, "manslaughters") their baby, and she's a victim in need of protection.

According to another article, after what could be euphemistically called Noe's "sentencing" on March 29 of last year, the little girl's father "described the sentence as absurd and said five years in prison isn't enough time for 'a baby killer.'"

The father asserted that it was not a coincidence that Noe drowned Brieana on Father's Day, and told the judge during the hearing that "he believed Noe planned to kill their daughter after he began pursuing custody. He also told the judge he believes his daughter struggled and suffered for at least 30 minutes before she died, based on his conversations with doctors."

If May had been given custody of the little girl instead of her mother, she would be alive today.

This case is another fine example of the female sentencing discount. Carol Kuhn, the child's paternal grandmother, believes "the judicial system made a joke of the situation by giving Noe such a short prison term."

"Judi essentially just got away with it," Kuhn said.

I discussed the female sentencing discount in my column Female Murderers Seen in a Different Light: Society Prefers to View Violent Women as Victims (Pasadena Star-News & Affiliated Papers, 7/5/01). My friend Marc Angelucci later wrote a better and more thorough analysis of this problem--see Males Get Longer Sentences Than Females For Same Crime (Ifeminists.com, 4/23/02).

To learn more about the problem of restraining order abuse, see my co-authored column Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining Orders (Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06) and my column VAWA Renewal Provides Opportunity to Stop Destruction of Innocent Cops' Careers (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, 7/19/05).
 

My recent co-authored column, 'Roe v. Wade for Men' Case Illustrates
Family Law System's Inequities (Daytona News-Journal, 3/31/06), discusses the problems with our family law system in light of the new lawsuit over men and reproductive rights. Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and I wrote:

"Whether one sympathizes with Dubay or not, his lawsuit illustrates the way the family law system addresses the needs and desires of women, while turning a cold shoulder to those of men. This system represents the most egregious violation of gender equity in our society today.

"The plight of unwed fathers exemplifies the point. Dubay is vilified by both the pro-choice feminist left and the pro-life right as an irresponsible cad, deadbeat and whiner. Yet the millions of unmarried men who do try to be fathers to their children find that while they are frequently lectured to 'take responsibility,' they're often not permitted any meaningful role in their children's lives. These stand-up guys usually get to spend only a few days a month with their kids, if they're lucky. Once mom finds a new man, they're often pushed out entirely in favor of the child's 'new dad.' And fathers who look to the family law system for help quickly find that said system has no interest in their case beyond keeping the child support checks coming."

I've written about anti-father bias of the family law system on numerous occasions. Some examples include: California NOW's Family Court Report 2002: Faulty Research, False Conclusions (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 7/11/02); my co-authored Have Anti-Father Family Court Policies Led to a Men's Marriage Strike? (Philadelphia Inquirer, 7/5/02); my co-authored California Supreme Court Takes Step Backward on Children's Rights (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 2/9/06); my co-authored PBS's Breaking the Silence: Family Law in the Funhouse Mirror (Albany Times Union, 10/20/05, Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, 10/24/05; and my co-authored Laws Must Protect the Rights of Military Dads (Army Times, Marine Corps Times, 3/28/05).

We've also discussed this bias on His Side with Glenn Sacks on numerous occasions. Some examples include: Families and Fathers Conference 2005:
Civil Rights Leaders or Reactionary Patriarchs?(6/5/05); First Wives vs. Second Wives (11/21/04); Not the Era of the Deadbeat Dad but the Era of the Hero Father (6/19/05); Support California Shared Parenting Bill AB 1307 (4/24/05); Michigan's Top Cop Tells Kids: Denounce Your Daddy (10/3/04); and Fathers Targeted by Cox Speak Out (10/17/04).

NOW Launches Counterattack Against FaFNY, Sackson Horde

In response to over 7,000 calls and letters to the New York Assembly Committee on Children & Families in support of A330, the New York Shared Parenting Bill, the New York State Chapter of the National Organization for Women and Stop Family Violence have launched a counterattack. To see NOW's Call to Action, click here. To read the Stop Family Violence Call to Action, click here. In both cases, it's the usual feminist hysterics about savage males and innocent, saintly, victimized females.

As during our Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the Silence, NOW is not able to match our numbers. However, their counterattack is still problematic. This is because the Assembly committee members began blocking emails from our supporters after last week's wave, and we stopped faxing the committee members two weeks ago at their request. I don't blame them--staffers told our activists that the deluge prevented them from being able to get any work done.

However, the result is that at this point the committee members are pretty much just hearing from feminist opponents of A330, even though we have far more supporters. As a remedy, I suggest you call the committee members yourselves and send them faxes and emails independently. These aren't blocked and will get through. To call, fax, and email the committee members, click here.

A330, the New York Shared Parenting Bill, is sponsored by the Coalition of Fathers and Families New York, the New York affiliate of the American Coalition for Fathers & Children. To learn more about the bill, see my co-authored column Shared Parenting Bill Would Help New York's Children of Divorce (Albany Times Union, 3/28/06) and NOW president Marcia Pappas' Joint custody bill not in child's interest.  Again, to contact the committee members, click here.

Surprise: Albany Times Union Endorses Shared Parenting

The Albany Times Union has long been seen by shared parenting advocates as a pro-feminist/anti-male obstacle. However, as I've pointed out, both during the PBS campaign and the A330 campaign the Times Union has made a legitimate and admirable effort to be fair and to give both sides a hearing.

Nonetheless I was more than a little surprised to find this morning that the Albany Times Union is now endorsing Shared Parenting and A330. In the editorial Custody challenges: It's time New York embraced the concept of shared parenting the paper's editorial board writes that A330's presumption for shared parenting is "the right presumption--and an overdue one." The editorial has its weaknesses, but it represents a significant step forward for our movement in New York, a key battleground state.

Stop Family Violence Says a Child's Love for His Parents Only Matters if the Parents Get Along

I've written many times about feminists' desire to give divorcing mothers a veto over fathers' fatherhood and over children's right to a relationship with their fathers. In Stop Family Violence's Call to Action here they write "fathers' rights proponents will also tell you that what's best for children of divorce is that courts protect the loving bonds with the two most important people in children's lives--the child's mother and father. That's true, but only if the parents get along and choose joint custody." In other words, the bonds matter, unless mom's mad at dad, in which case they can be quickly tossed aside.

Criticism of Glenn Over Including Link to NOW Column in Email Form Letter

A few of you have criticized me over last week's form letter in support of A330, the New York Shared Parenting bill. As you know, on 3/28 the ACFC's Mike McCormick and I squared off against Marcia Pappas, president of the New York State Chapter of the National Organization for Women, in a point/counterpoint on A330 in the Albany Times-Union. In our form letter which went out to members of the New York Assembly's Committee on Children & Families last week, I included the following at the end:

"To learn more about the bill, see the Albany Times Union's debate on it--Supporting the child by order of the court (in favor) and Joint custody bill not in child's interest (opposed)." 

In fact, some members of the Coalition of Fathers and Families New York have copied and distributed both our column and Pappas' column to members of the New York Assembly.

I have a couple of responses to the criticism over this. One is to echo something very wise which Ned Holstein of Fathers and Families emphasized during our Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the Silence --"have faith in the truth." In other words, don't be afraid to let the other side be heard--have faith that the truth in what you're saying will be understood. I frankly have a hard time believing that many people, reading our column and Pappas' column together, would side with Pappas.

Moreover, my critics misunderstand what constitutes political power. I discussed this issue on His Side with Glenn Sacks in response to criticisms of my cordial demeanor with Martha Burk, Gloria Allred, Michael Kimmel, Amanda Marcotte and other opposition guests on the show. To listen to my response, click here.

Stephen Baskerville Skewers Family Court 'Privacy'

Stephen Baskerville, president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, skewers family court "privacy" in his new piece Banned Near Boston: More chicanery from the underworld of family law. The article deals with the case of  Kevin Thompson, a Massachusetts father who "received an order prohibiting distribution of his book, Exposing the Corruption in the Massachusetts Family Courts. The court also impounded the records of Thompson's custody case, reinforcing the secrecy in which family courts like to operate."

Baskerville's description of the role of "privacy" in this case is perfect:

"The standard justification for secret courts is the one Judge Manzi now extends to censorship: 'privacy interests of the parties' minor child.' Thompson's son has already been forcibly separated from his father, and his life is now under the total control of state officials. What 'privacy' does this child have left?

Baskerville also notes that the "true reason for the secrecy and censorship is not to protect privacy but to invade it with impunity."

Grieving Parents, Families Deserve Peace When Burying Their Loved Ones

This doesn't have much to do with the usual issues I discuss but it struck me as being worthy of mention. As many of you know, the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, headed by Reverend Fred Phelps, protests at the funerals of dead American soldiers, saying the deaths of U.S. soldiers in Iraq are God's vengeance for protecting a country (the U.S.) that tolerates homosexuality. They carry signs that read, for example, "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and "Thank God for IED's" in reference to the improvised explosive devices used by terrorists in Iraq. 

When I first heard of it, I thought that Phelps and crew were only protesting at the funerals of gay soldiers who had been mortally wounded. This would have been appalling enough, but what I hadn't realized was that they were protesting at the funerals of all soldiers.

I was contacted by a woman named Nancy Totman, a military and legislative advocate for the Blue Star Moms of California. Her group and others are working in favor of a bill which would ban demonstrations or protests within 300 feet of funerals.

California Assemblyman Rick Keene (3rd district) has introduced AB 2707 in California (sponsored by the Blue Star Moms) which addresses the disruption of the funerals of soldiers who have died while serving. If you're interested in supporting this legislation, write a letter of support to Assemblymember Rick Keene at assemblymember.Keene@assembly.ca.gov. 

Phelps & Co. had also protested at the funerals of the miners killed in the Sago Mining disaster. One woman even held up a poster which said "Thank God for Dead Miners." In my co-authored column Are American Husbands Slackers? (Tallahassee Democrat, 3/22/06) we discussed Terry Helms, one of the 12 miners killed in the disaster. We wrote:

"Terry's son Nick told the Associated Press that his father 'had endured numerous injuries in a 30-year career and hated mining because of the dangers.'

""[My father] is very selfless," Nick said. '[He] refused to quit because the job put food on the table... He gave his life in there so I could go to the movies.'"

The idea that these lunatics had free reign to disrupt the funerals of men like Helms is an outrage.

Women's E-News Portrays Men as Lazy, Overprivileged

Kimberly Gadette's new Women's E-News column Male Backlash Muddles and Misses Facts provides an excellent example of the bigotry and derision which feminists pour upon men. Gadette writes:

"Every now and then, Western history belches out some group of men who protest their miserably high status in life, claiming that society is treating them unfairly.

"I'm almost embarrassed for them. It's as if Halliburton, having been granted contracts in the billions of dollars to do work in Iraq and New Orleans, would feel slighted if it lost the job to work on the asbestos problem in my neighbor's guesthouse.

"...whine with cheese [comes from] from the National Center for Men, an advocacy group founded in 1987 to help right the wrongs of individuals and families who have been damaged by discrimination against men. They have issues--oh boy, do they have issues! Here are some quotes from their Web site:

"'Men die about eight years earlier than women.'"

"Though no supporting facts are given, it sounds about right to me. To maintain good health, doctors recommend a low-fat diet and exercise. Consuming cheese doodles and beer and lolling on the couch does not make for longevity. Darn the luck, if only men liked housework. By getting off that sofa and washing a floor, scrubbing a toilet, raising a kid, they, too, might live longer.

"'In almost every category of disease, men suffer more often than women.'"

"Again, no scientific data is offered. If males do indeed have special powers in math and science--as Mansfield's pal and ex-boss, deposed Harvard President Lawrence Summers, has been known to claim--might we have some evidence to support such an assertion? Facts, fellas, facts.

"The NCM--or, as I call it, the "National Center for Milquetoasts"--has recently filed a lawsuit in a U.S. district court in Michigan on behalf of Matt Dubay, a 25-year-old computer programmer who disputes having to pay child support for his 7-month-old daughter. Officially trademarked as 'Roe v. Wade for Men,' the group argues that since the mother claimed to be both infertile and on birth control, the resulting pregnancy was not Dubay's fault and he should not be held monetarily accountable.

"Note to men: If the woman you're dating says she's both infertile and taking birth control, perhaps wearing a condom is a good idea until you can determine whether she's Ms. Right or Ms. Taken.

"As to family issues, yes, sometimes a woman may unjustly take a man for a ride. However, there are legitimate avenues for men to pursue--state registries, nonprofit educational groups, state representatives, family law attorneys--if they feel they are being deprived of their parental rights. But just how 'manly' is it to want to be free and clear of all paternal obligations?"

A few comments:

Men do die substantially earlier than women (though I don't know if "8 years" is accurate) and they are more likely to die of all major diseases. In my co-authored column When Men's Health Doesn't Count (Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, 10/9/02) I noted:

"The disturbing health and mortality disparities between American whites and blacks are well known, but most people do not realize that the health and mortality disparities between women and men are just as great. For example, the gap in life expectancy between whites and blacks is six years, while the gender gap is 5.7 years. Adjusted for age, men are 1.6 times as likely as women to die from one of the top 10 causes of death, and blacks are 1.5 times as likely to die from them as whites.

"Despite this, it is women's health, not men's, which continues to receive government attention and funding. For example, the National Institutes of Health--the federal focal point for medical research in the U.S.--spends nearly four times as much on female-specific health research as on male-specific research. And though the average man is as likely to die from prostate cancer as the average woman is from breast cancer, the Department of Health and Human Services' National Cancer Institute spends three and a half times as much money on breast cancer research as on prostate cancer research.

"In fact, prostate cancer makes up 37% of all cancer cases but receives only 5% of federal research funding."

Gadette also trots out the lazy husband myth, noting "Consuming cheese doodles and beer and lolling on the couch does not make for longevity. Darn the luck, if only men liked housework. By getting off that sofa and washing a floor, scrubbing a toilet, raising a kid, they, too, might live longer."  I debunked this myth in my co-authored column Are American Husbands Slackers? (Tallahassee Democrat, 3/22/06). Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:

"When both work outside the home and inside the home are properly considered, it is clear that men do at least as much as women. A 2002 University of Michigan Institute for Social Research survey found that women do 11 more hours of housework a week than men but men work 14 hours a week more than women. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, men's total time at leisure, sleeping, doing personal care activities, or socializing is a statistically meaningless 1% higher than women's. The Families and Work Institute in New York City found that fathers now provide three-fourths as much child care as mothers do--50% more than 30 years ago.

"Yet even these studies understate men's contributions because they only count the hours devoted to a task without measuring the physical strain and/or danger associated with the task. A man doing eight hours of dangerous construction work in the 100-degree heat is credited with no more 'work' than a woman who works in an air-conditioned office or who does childcare or housework in the comfort and safety of her own home [and without a supervisor breathing down her neck]."

While indignantly asserting women's iron clad right to choice, Gadette demeans as unmanly men who seek reproductive choices. She writes "But just how 'manly' is it to want to be free and clear of all paternal obligations?" In my recent co-authored column Women Have a Choice--Men Should Too (Saginaw News, 4/2/06) family law attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:

"One and a half million American women legally walk away from motherhood every year by adoption, abortion or abandonment, yet somehow nobody labels them 'deadbeats' or 'deserters.' In over 40 states a mother can return the baby to the hospital within a few weeks of birth--completely opting out of motherhood with less hassle than it takes to return a DVD to Best Buy. Yet if the mother decides she wants to keep the child, she can demand 18 [or in some states 21 or 23] years of child support from the father, and he has no choice in the matter."

Perhaps the most ludicrous part of the article is Gadette's analogy between men's privilege over women and Halliburton's advantage over a small time asbestos remover. When I first began writing columns on men's and fathers issues, I wrote the below. It still seems accurate today.

"Some men are privileged and some women are privileged. Most are not. When we say 'privileged' we are only looking up, at the leaders of our society, who are mostly male.

"If we look down, at the bottom of our society, we'll see that most of the people down there are male, too: the homeless, the imprisoned, the suicide victims, those who die young, the school dropouts, etc. While many of American women's issues and concerns are certainly still unresolved, women's issues have received enormous publicity and attention. It's men's issues that have received little publicity, and that's why I write about them."

This doesn't even account for the most hideous disparity between men and women--their treatment in family court.

The tagline on Gadette's article says "Women's eNews welcomes your comments. E-mail us at editors@womensenews.org." I doubt they'll welcome yours, but since they offered...

Editorial Cartoon Acknowledges Special Sacrifices Made by Male Immigrants

However one feels about the immigration issue, I think we can all acknowledge that most immigrants come here for understandable reasons and make many sacrifices. My friend Al Rantel is a staunch supporter of restrictions on illegal immigration, but often tells his KABC listeners that if he lived in Mexico or Central America and had the chance to come to the United States, he would do so in a heartbeat.

It was nice to see this cartoon reflect the special sacrifices that many immigrant men make to provide for their families. It reminded me of the sacrifices made by so many of the Latino immigrant men I've known either through teaching English and Citizenship classes in South-Central Los Angeles or doing construction work.

The cartoon also reminded me of some of the touching songs about immigrants' struggles on Bruce Springsteen's album The Ghost of Tom Joad, including Sinaloa Cowboys, Across the Border and Balboa Park. One example, from Sinaloa Cowboys:

"Miguel came from a small town in northern Mexico
He came north with his brother Louis to California three years ago
They crossed at the river levee, when Louis was just sixteen
And found work together in the fields of the San Joaquin

"They left their homes and family
Their father said, "My sons one thing you will learn,
for everything the north gives, it exacts a price in return."
They worked side by side in the orchards
From morning till the day was through
Doing the work the hueros wouldn't do."

[Note: a "huero" is a white American].

I'm Now Officially an Old Fogy

My seven year-old daughter came home the other day beaming that she's going to be one of the key performers in an upcoming school dance performance. My daughter has always enjoyed dancing. She started as a toddler dancing in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. Her dancing then consisted mostly of just jumping up and down, but she was happy and never seemed to notice. The song she will be dancing to is called "Yeah!" by the hip hop artist Usher. The song features the following elevated prose:

"These women all on the prowl, if you hold the head steady I'm a milk the cow/Forget about the game, I'm a spit the truth, I won't stop till I get 'em in they birthday suits/So gimmie the rhythm and it'll be off with their clothes, then bend over to the front and touch your toes/I left the Jag and I took the Rolls, if they ain't cutting then I put em on foot patrol."

Somehow it seems rather indecent that my little girl is performing in public (or anywhere) to such lyrics. In other words, I'm now officially an old fogy...

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com

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