|
Sacks/Leving in Houston Chronicle
on Gray Divorce
My co-authored
column on the rise in "Gray Divorce"--Sometimes
it's husbands getting dumped: Forget
trophy wives, reality is another matter
for most men--appeared in the
Houston Chronicle Sunday. I co-authored
the piece with family law attorney Jeffery
M. Leving. To voice your opinion on
the issue, write to the Houston Chronicle
at
viewpoints@chron.com. Feel free
to forward me copies of your letters.
KNBC Los Angeles' Today in LA
Covers New Lawsuit on Behalf of Male
DV Victims
KNBC Los Angeles'
Today in LA just did a nice piece
on the new lawsuit filed against the
State of California for refusing to
offer services to male victims of domestic
violence. I wrote about this case in
my recent co-authored column
Domestic Violence Lawsuit Will Help
Secure Services for All Abuse Victims
(Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco
Daily Journal, 12/28/05). My co-author,
Marc Angelucci, is the attorney in the
lawsuit and he appeared on the KNBC
broadcast. We wrote:
"At the age of
11, Maegan Woods tried to stop a domestic
dispute between her parents. She soon
found herself staring down the barrel
of her father's shotgun. She watched
helplessly as the trigger was pulled.
She is only alive today because the
gun didn't fire--the safety was on.
"Maegan was abused
and witnessed domestic violence in her
home for most of her childhood. By age
seven there had been knife attacks,
punches, kicks, and more. It was hard
to leave--the abuser was the one who
earned the money, and the victim was
unable to work because of a disability.
On numerous occasions they looked for
help to escape the abuse but were refused.
Why?
"Because in Maegan's
family, the abused spouse was her father,
and the battering and child abuse were
perpetrated by her mother.
"The California
Battered Women Protection Act of 1994,
codified in Health & Safety Codes Section
124250, et. seq., created funding for
domestic violence shelter-based services.
However, by defining domestic violence
as something only experienced by women,
the statutes exclude male victims from
receiving state-funded domestic violence
services, including shelter, hotel arrangements,
counseling and legal services.
"Meagan, now 21,
and her father, David Woods, are the
lead plaintiffs in a new lawsuit against
the State of California and numerous
state agencies and state-funded domestic
violence service providers. Beginning
in the mid-1980s, David was violently
attacked on numerous occasions by his
wife Ruth, who suffers from a bi-polar
disorder which, in her case, creates
a propensity toward violence.
"On several occasions
David decided that he and Maegan should
get out of the house to escape Ruth's
violence. However, with his disabling
condition and inability to work, David
had no money to provide for himself
and his daughter. Numerous times he
contacted a Sacramento domestic violence
agency he had heard of in the media,
WEAVE, but they always told him "we
don't help men," and never offered him
a referral to another facility. David
tried churches and various programs,
but all they could offer for men were
homeless shelters with waiting lists.
He found nothing for abused men and
their children. David gave up and sank
into a heavy depression."
In the KNBC piece
Maegan said that when she was in Elementary
School she would tell her teachers that
her mom was hitting her dad and that
she was upset about it but they would
just laugh it off. Poor little girl.
Feminist attorney
Marci Fukuroda of the California Women's
Law Center gave KNBC the usual feminist
line--that shelters are having to turn
away thousands of women and children
every year and that they operate on
shoestring budgets and have no room
for men.
For anyone who
wonders if the shelters really do exclude
male victims, I offer this: In 2002,
while researching my column
Baseball Player's Domestic Violence
Arrest Demonstrates How Men are Presumed
Guilty in Domestic Disputes (Los
Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco
Daily Journal, 8/8/02), I posed
as a male victim of domestic violence
and called every domestic violence shelter
in Los Angeles and San Diego Counties
in order to determine if men really
were denied services. My investigation
found only one facility that would accept
a male victim--Valley Oasis--and one
other, in San Diego, which offered the
possibility of placement. Yet
while domestic violence leaders like
Fukuroda deny there is a need for services
for male victims, several of the shelter
directors and workers I spoke
with while posing as a DV victim said
that much more attention and resources
needs to be directed towards male victims,
and expressed sympathy for their plight.
Patricia Jones,
the Assistant Director of the Valley
Oasis Shelter in Lancaster, CA., told
KNBC that "everybody here believes that
a victim is a victim. It's not about
gender, it's about somebody experiencing
abuse."
In the KNBC piece
David Woods said "I put up with the
violence because I was trying to keep
her from taking the children and leaving."
This is a point I've emphasized on numerous
occasions. In the column on the Woods
case we wrote:
"Domestic violence
policies based on the woman good/man
bad model kept David trapped in his
violent marriage in a number of ways.
The biggest reason David didn't leave
Ruth was Maegan. She was frequently
the target of Ruth's attacks, particularly
when David wasn't around to protect
her and take Ruth's blows. Domestic
violence researcher Richard Gelles,
whose groundbreaking work on domestic
violence in the late 1970s was instrumental
in bringing the issue to public consciousness,
explains that current policies often
trap abused fathers like David. They
can't leave their wives because this
would leave their children unprotected
in the hands of an abuser. If they simply
take their children, they can be arrested
for kidnapping. Moreover, they would
probably lose custody of their children
in the divorce anyway, again leaving
their children in harm's way.
"These cases often
have tragic results. In the highly-publicized
Socorro Caro murder case, Socorro often
abused her husband Xavier, a prominent
Northridge, California rheumatologist,
and once assaulted him so badly he had
to have surgery to regain his sight
in one eye. Trapped and not knowing
what to do or where to go, Xavier endured
the abuse, once telling his wife 'one
day you are going to do something that
cannot be undone.' A short time later
Socorro shot and killed three of their
four children. Their baby survived only
because Socorro ran out of bullets.
She was later convicted and sentenced
to death for the murders."
To watch the KNBC
video, click
here.
New Column:
California Supreme Court Takes Step
Backward on Children's Rights
My latest co-authored
column,
California Supreme Court Takes Step
Backward on Children's Rights (Daily
Breeze [Los Angeles], 2/9/06), discusses
the new California Supreme Court ruling
in the Brown vs. Yana move-away
case. In that case a custodial mother
was allowed to move her then 12 year-old
son 400 miles away. Family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"The underlying
problem is that in California the legal
presumption on relocations points in
the wrong direction. If a parent wants
to move a child far away, he or she
should bear the burden of showing that
the move is not detrimental to the child.
In this way many frivolous, selfish,
or vindictive moves would be restricted,
while still allowing for legitimate
ones, such as in cases of abuse, dire
economic need or when noncustodial parents
show little interest in their children.
"Brown vs. Yana
is not an outrageous ruling, and Yana
had harmed his case with slipshod legal
work and erratic behavior. The decision
is, however, sadly illustrative of a
common mentality in family law which
places a custodial parent's convenience
above a child's love for his mother
and father."
To write a Letter
to the Editor of the Daily Breeze,
a 100,000 circulation newspaper based
in the Los Angeles International Airport/Harbor
area, about
A wrong turn on children's rights
(2/9/06), write to
letters@dailybreeze.com.
Boy in CA Supreme Court Case Rebels
Against Mom's Move-Away Plans, Refuses
to Leave Father
In our column
California Supreme Court Takes Step
Backward on Children's Rights (Daily
Breeze [Los Angeles], 2/9/06) we
also noted:
"After the move
the boy rebelled against his mother,
at one point refusing to board a plane
to go back to Las Vegas after a visit
with his father. The mother, who had
moved to Las Vegas because her new husband
was offered a new job there, has now
allowed the boy to live with his dad.
Cameron told the Santa Maria Times
that the new Supreme Court decision
is 'bad for other kids like me who don't
want to move...It's hard to leave your
friends. And my dad missed all but one
of my football games when I lived in
Las Vegas.'"
While this turn
of events certainly bolsters my view
that move-aways are usually bad for
children, I'm not particularly happy
about it either. When mom decided to
move it meant the boy would lose his
dad. Now he has lost his mom instead.
It would have been better for the child
if mom had never moved. If we had a
proper presumption against moves (as
we outlined in the article), the whole
situation could have been avoided.
To learn more about
California move-aways and the influential
LaMusga case, see my co-authored
column
Is a Pool More Important than a Dad?
(San Francisco Chronicle, 5/4/04)
and read my LaMusga radio commentary
here.
I discussed how
this issue would be viewed if we switched
the genders in my column
California NOW Takes Stand Against Working
Mothers (Sarasota Herald-Tribune,
2/23/04), and argued in favor of a current
Wisconsin move-away bill in my co-authored
piece
AB 400 Will Help Wisconsin's Children
of Divorce (Wisconsin
State Journal, 12/3/05). I clashed
with feminist law professor Carol Bruch,
who authored the mother's brief in
LaMusga, on PBS's Los Angeles
affiliate KCET last year--to watch,
click
here.
|
|
The American
Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women
in blended families are looking for:
Remarriage, divorce, child custody,
and step parenting discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way; articles
and news written by thought-provoking
experts and journalists; personal accounts
and advice from some of life's most
interesting women.
www.SecondWivesClub.com
|
How Common is Paternity
Fraud?
The new World Net Daily
article
Paternity fraud rampant in U.S.:
30% of those named as fathers bilked of child
support unjustly is being circulated widely
on men's and fathers elists and websites. Paternity
fraud is a problem, but I doubt it approaches
the 30% level, and the basis for the 30% claim
in the article is unclear.
There are two sources for
"30%" in the article. The admirable paternity
fraud crusader Carnell Smith is quoted as saying
that 30 percent of the cases he sampled
proved negative. However, I don't think
Carnell is saying that "30%
of those named as fathers bilked of child support
unjustly"--obviously the people Carnell
deals are those who already have reason to be
concerned over paternity issues.
The WND article also said
"one state that examined the problem found as
many as 30 percent of those paying child support
were, indeed, not the biological fathers of
the children being supported. The most recent
comprehensive study took place in New Hampshire
under the auspices of the Commission on the
Status of Men." Perhaps the Commission
studied this properly and came up with 30%,
but again that seems high to me. In my
co-authored column
Michigan Reform Plan Fights Rising Paternity
Fraud (Detroit News, 9/25/02) I wrote:
"Michigan Family Independence
Agency statistics indicate that 30 percent of
the nonmarital paternity tests performed in
Michigan exclude the tested man from being the
child's biological father. The American Association
of Blood Banks, which evaluated 280,000 paternity
tests in 1999, found similar numbers."
However, again we have
a preselected sample--many of the people getting
these paternity tests are doing so because there
is a paternity issue involved.
If anybody has sources
or more information on the 30% figure, please
feel free to send them to me.
Studies based on preselected
samples are often employed by feminists to grossly
exaggerate male villainy or female victimization.
I discussed some examples in my columns
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05),
Fathers Bear the Brunt of Gender Bias in Family
Courts (Insight magazine, 8/19/02),
and
Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers?
(San Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05).
|
Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource Center
is a division of
Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER),
located in Dallas, Texas, with offices
in both Dallas and Houston. In existence
for over three decades, it has services
and resources for dads nationwide and
is one of the largest and most active
fathers' rights organizations in the
U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and happy
marriage? If you've been checking out
advice columns or seeing a therapist,
you may have been looking in the wrong
place. Despite all the advances in brain
technology, and all of that we have
learned about developmental psychology--men
and women are given the same advice
about solving problems. But when we
ask men what works for them, we hear
a different story.
www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com
|
Outrageous Violation
of Free Speech
An Austrian court has just
sentenced David Irving, a holocaust denier,
to three years in prison. I couldn't have less
sympathy for Irving's lunatic views but I'm
alarmed that a Western democracy is actually
going to put a man in prison for three years
for his political and historical opinions. Isn't
that what a political prisoner is? To learn
more, click
here.
Netscape: When Wives Cheat, It's OK
According to the Netscape
article
You Won't Believe How Many Wives Cheat,
"The modern American or European woman is just
as likely to cheat on her husband as he is to
cheat on her." They write:
"Those are the eyebrow-raising
findings of a team of German researchers from
the Hamburg-based GEWIS Institute for Social
Research. Reuters reports that in a survey of
1,427 men and women between the ages of 25 and
35, fully 53 percent of women said they had
been unfaithful to their partner, compared with
59 percent of men.
"Unlike most men, the reason
women have affairs is primarily non-sexual.
While sex is no doubt the outcome, what women
are seeking when they first stray from their
husbands is reassurance and understanding. In
other words, they are looking for emotional
intimacy...
"Some women are serial
cheaters. Seventeen percent of women surveyed
said they had cheated two or three times, compared
with 22 percent of men. And get this: Eight
percent of the women said they had cheated four
or five times in the course of their marriage,
but only 4 percent of men admitted to this."
I love the always present,
built-in excuse for bad female behavior--"the
reason women have affairs is primarily non-sexual...women
[seek] reassurance and understanding. In other
words, they are looking for emotional intimacy..."
Their husbands aren't giving them what they
need so no wonder they cheat. I discussed this
phenomenon at length on the radio at
Newsweek: When Wives Cheat, It's
OK (7/11/04).
|
DadsDivorce.com informs fathers
about their rights during divorce litigation
while providing them with concrete,
practical resources to get results in
the courtroom.
DadsDivorce.com is a popular meeting
place for fathers facing divorce.
BE THE FIRST TO KNOW
The Levine Breaking News E-LERT
is Hollywood's premier Breaking News
e-zine sent every day to approximately
100,000 "influencers." Referred to as
"part CNN-part Variety-part Drudge Report"--to
sign up, send an email to
MLasst@LCOonline.com.
|
A&E Reprises 'Fatal
Fathers' Myth
Many of you have written
to me about the A&E cable network's rerun of
its anti-father documentary
"Fatal Fathers." The documentary originally
aired in September, 2004, and A&E is rebroadcasting
it at 8 AM and 2 PM on February 21. The
central claim made by the film is that "Surprisingly,
the leading cause of death among pregnant women
today is murder. Their killers?--their own husbands
or boyfriends."
Many of you have written
to me to ask me if the above claim is true.
The answer is no. To learn more, see my columns
New Report on Maternal Homicide Crisis: Myth-Making
and Manbashing (Lexington Herald-Leader,
1/3/05) and
'Fatal Fathers' Myth Promoted in Wake of Peterson,
Hacking Cases (Daily Breeze [Los
Angeles], 9/17/04).
Since it's just a daytime
rerun and is not being promoted or hyped, I'm
not going to call the Sackson Horde to action
over it. However, if you'd like to comment on
it to A&E, click
here.
Prominent Left-Wing Blogger Attacks Glenn's
Column on False DV Charges, Restraining Orders
I mentioned a couple weeks
ago that the new
The Conservative Woman website
named me their "honorary male writer." Left-wing
Salon blogger World O'Crap is apparently
a big force on the blogosphere--her blog has
over a million Google entries--and she
wasn't too pleased. In her blog entry
The Wild, Wild World of Wingnut Women, World
O'Crap criticizes my co-authored column
Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining
Orders (Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06),
saying that I "can't actually write, although
he tries really hard" and that I "hate women."
World O'Crap summarizes
our argument as follows--"One judge granted
an obviously unnecessary restraining order to
a wacko, thus proving that women [and the judicial
system] regularly persecute innocent men via
bogus legal filings."
What we actually wrote
was that the Letterman case "demonstrates a
much larger though rarely discussed problem--it
is far too easy to get a restraining order based
on a false allegation...Many if not most domestic
violence restraining orders are simply tactical
maneuvers designed to gain advantage in high
stakes family law proceedings."
We gave numerous sources
for our assertions, including the Family
Law News, the official publication of the
State Bar of California Family Law Section,
and the Illinois Bar Journal. How pointing
out that women sometimes abuse the system or
use it for their own advantage means I "hate"
women is unclear. What is clear is that charges
of misogyny are often employed by feminists
to silence men.
As for the assertion that
I "can't actually write," I suppose the
lady
is entitled to her opinion...
To write to World O'Crap,
click
here.
|
How Does Sex
Discrimination Affect Men and Boys?
The
National
Coalition of Free Men is a non-profit
educational & civil rights organization
that looks at the ways sex discrimination
affects men and boys.
NCFM
helps provide men a unified voice on
important political and social issues.
www.NCFM.org
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
|
Glenn Discusses False
Allegations on Geraldo at Large
I appeared on Geraldo
at Large February 7 to discuss the Florida
case where a father attacked a teacher's aid
who had been accused of inappropriately touching
his teenage daughter. It turns out that the
charges were apparently false--according to
the Associated Press'
School clears aide hit by dad: Officials say
Teen lied about abuse (1/28/06):
"A teenager who accused
a teacher's aide of molesting her, prompting
the girl's father to march into school and punch
the man in the face, made it up, officials said.
"School surveillance cameras show the aide was
not even in the room when the 15-year-old said
she was touched inappropriately, said Roger
Dearing, Lakewood Ranch High School's superintendent.
"'We have found that (the aide) is not guilty
of what this young lady has accused him of doing,
that her accusations are false,' Dearing said.
"The Sheriff's Department also found no evidence
of wrongdoing, and the School Board said the
girl may have lied to get back at the man for
disciplining her...
"Dearing said the district has statements from
students and the security camera footage that
show the aide could not have been in the classroom
at the time."
During the Geraldo interview I discussed
the problem of false allegations and also told
a couple of stories about things I saw when
I was a teacher. One of them happened
early in my career when a male administrator
took a few of the new male high school teachers
aside and told us the following story. (Note:
in some schools administrators often teach a
class or two):
"One time I was in my office
and one of my students, an 11th grade girl,
came to see me. She was upset about the bad
grade she was getting in my class, and wanted
me to change it.
"She grew increasingly
demanding and ended up threatening me that she
would make a charge against me if I didn't give
her the grade.
"When I still refused,
she stood up, tore her shirt, started screaming
'Help, Help, he's attacking me' and ran towards
the door of the office. As she made for the
door I saw 25 years of hard work and devotion
to my students go down the drain.
"Miraculously, there happened
to be a female teacher right outside the door
who had been waiting to talk to me. When the
girl opened the door the female teacher stood
in her way and told her that she had heard everything.
It saved my career and my livelihood."
I've covered the issue
of false allegations in numerous columns and
on the air. To learn more, see:
|
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|
Ten Percent of 10-year-old
American Boys are on Ritalin or Similar Drugs--What
Are Our Schools Doing to Our Boys?
According to
Warning Urged for ADHD Drugs: Panel Cites Risks,
Fears of Overuse (Washington Post,
2/10/06), 10% percent of 10-year-old American
boys are on Ritalin or similar drugs and a federal
expert advisory panel is citing "reports that
they may have caused sudden deaths or serious
complications." According to the Post:
"Several drugs widely used
to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder
should carry a prominent 'black box' warning
because of reports that they may have caused
sudden deaths or serious complications, a federal
expert advisory panel recommended yesterday.
"The proposal to require a warning on medications
such as Adderall and Ritalin took the Food and
Drug Administration, pharmaceutical companies
and advocates by surprise. The panel voted 8
to 7 to call for the labeling change after reviewing
reports of several dozen patients who suffered
cardiac arrest, toxic reactions or sudden death
while using the medications.
"Members of the board said
the recommendation was driven as much by worries
that the drugs are being overused in the United
States as by the possible side effects: About
10 percent of 10-year-old American boys are
taking such medications, and there have been
recent sharp increases in the number of adults
taking them.
"'On the surface, it is
hard to believe,'" said Curt Furberg, professor
of public health sciences at North Carolina's
Wake Forest University Medical School, who voted
for the black-box warning. 'What is also interesting
is this condition is not really recognized in
other countries -- you wonder what we are treating.
I am sure there are patients who need these
drugs, but it is not 10 percent of all 10-year-old
boys.'"
From my experience as a
teacher I can tell you that there are some kids
for whom the drugs are useful--I've seen it
firsthand. On the other hand, for most boys
it is useless and counterproductive. I've long
campaigned against these drugs, and it seems
that every time I discuss this problem on a
radio show some aggrieved mother or father calls
up and tells me that the school wants him or
her to put their kindergarten or first grade
son on Ritalin. It's an outrage. The problem
is not our boys--the problem is that our schools
refuse to adapt and accommodate boys' educational
needs and learning styles. In my column
The 'Boy Parent Dilemma' (Los Angeles
Daily News, 9/6/02) I noted:
"Modern schools are not
suited to boys' personalities and learning styles.
This can be seen from the time boys enter school,
when many of them are immediately branded as
behavior problems. The line of 10 kids who had
to gather every day after school in my son's
first grade class for their behavior reports--all
boys. The names of kids on the side of the chalkboard
who misbehaved and would lose recess--all boys.
The kids as young as five or six who must be
drugged so they will sit still and 'behave'--almost
all boys...
"This afternoon, millions of us will pick our
little sons up from school and hope to hear
that it was a good day. Yet many of our boys
will have spent much of the day being scolded
and punished, often for doing nothing more than
being boys. And with each of these mistreated
little boys--waving their arms and running toward
us across the yard, happy to be away from that
place where everything feels so unnatural and
they somehow always seem to be doing something
wrong--comes the boy parent dilemma."
Britney Spears Endangers
Her Baby, Blames it on Men
According to the Reuters
article
Spears explains driving with infant son in her
lap:
"Pop star Britney Spears,
reacting to a furor over photos showing her
driving a car with her infant son in her lap,
insists she's a good mother and that the incident
was the result of 'frightful encounter with
the paparazzi.'
"Pictures published in the New York Post
and elsewhere Tuesday showed Spears at the wheel
of her sport utility vehicle, holding her 5-month-old
baby, Sean, on her lap. A man identified as
her bodyguard is shown next to her in the front
passenger seat.
"According to the Post, Spears drove
for at least two miles along the Pacific Coast
Highway in the oceanfront area of Malibu on
Monday.
"A source close to Spears, 24, told Reuters
that the incident occurred after the singer
had driven to a Starbucks shop with her son
strapped properly into his car seat in the back
of her SUV.
"She moved the baby to her lap after stopping
at the coffee shop to let her bodyguard go inside,
then became unnerved as photographers swarmed
around the vehicle as she waited for him to
return, the source said. When the bodyguard
got back in the car, Spears quickly drove off
with her son still in her lap.
"'I had a horrifying, frightful encounter with
the paparazzi while I was with my baby,' Spears
said in a statement issued through her publicist.
She said Monday's episode reminded her of an
incident last summer in which she was 'trapped'
in her car by a throng of photographers.
"'I instinctively took measures to get my baby
and me out of harm's way, but the paparazzi
continued to stalk us, and took photos of us
which were sold to the media,' she said. 'I
love my child and would do anything to protect
him.'"
A few comments:
1) As usual, when in trouble,
blame a man
2) Spears said "I was terrified
that this time the physically aggressive paparazzi
would put both me and my baby in danger. I instinctively
took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's
way...'I love my child and would do anything
to protect him.'" How exactly is driving two
miles on winding Pacific Coast Highway "protecting
your baby?"
3) Apparently Britney's
allegations about the photographers weren't
true. According to the BBC, "X17, the agency
who took the photographs, have denied her claims.
'These pictures were taken in a very peaceful
context, in which photographers exhibited no
aggressive behavior,' a statement read. Kelly
Davis, vice president of X17, said only two
photographers were involved, one of whom happened
to be in the coffee shop car park when Spears
arrived. 'At the point where she made the decision
to drive with the baby in her lap, there was
only one photographer and he wasn't even shooting,'
said Davis."
4) Most importantly, even if the photographers
were trying to aggressively photograph her,
so what? This is a reason to put a baby's
life in danger? Stand there and be photographed--big
deal.
5) Interestingly, this
is the same scam that Princess Diana's defenders
used after her death--somehow the "threat" of
being photographed justified Diana & Co.
driving at dangerous speeds.
6) News reports now say
that Britney is now taking "some" responsibility
for the incident. "Some"? Who exactly is supposed
to take the rest?
When in Doubt, Blame a Man
Though the incidents are
totally unrelated, Spears' "Blame a Man" act
reminds me a little of Terry Barton, the 18-year
veteran of the Forest Service who intentionally
started a forest fire which would ultimately
destroy 137,000 acres and led to the deaths
of several firefighters. (Barton pleaded guilty
to two federal charges for setting the fire
and lying to investigators, as well as to a
state charge of fourth-degree arson). In my
column
Colorado Arsonist Terry Barton's Smart Strategy:
When in Trouble, Blame a Man (Cybercast
News Service, 7/3/02) I wrote:
"Terry Barton might not
be a very good forest ranger, but she certainly
is a good observer of contemporary social attitudes.
Having committed a crime, the US Forest Service
employee knows that the best way to arouse public
sympathy and deflect attention away from what
she has done is to blame a man.
"First she tried to pin the crime on a male
camper in a gold minivan. Luckily for this individual,
who was facing the possibility of a stiff prison
sentence, meticulous and ardent Forest Service
investigators exposed Barton's claim as false.
"Confronted with this evidence, Barton decided
to switch male scapegoats, saying that she caused
the blaze when she burned a heartbreaking letter
from her estranged husband.
"Remarkably, some people are buying it."
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family
Law Attorney Lisa Scott Launches RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family
Law Attorney Lisa Scott has just launched
www.RealFamilyLaw.com
to expose the truth about what is happening
in our family law system. Lisa, the all-time
leader in appearances on His Side with Glenn
Sacks, says that she was "tired of having
her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications
and politically-correct newspapers" and decided
to start her own website.
One of Lisa's specialties
is confronting the false allegations of domestic
violence that are used to drive so many men
out of their children's lives. In Lisa's article
Confessions of a Family Law Reform Activist
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love
the Parenting Act she explains:
"When I graduated from
law school in 1987, the Parenting Act had just
been passed by the Washington State Legislature...[it]
was supposed to be the end of custody battles
between parents. They were supposed to work
things out, for the best interests of their
children.
"Well, apparently, a whole lot of divorcing
parents didn't get the memo. Within a few years
of beginning practice, I had been involved in
numerous custody battles. Not just disagreements
between spouses, but knock-down, drag-out custody
wars with all the trappings: allegations of
child abuse, neglect, drug abuse, alcoholism,
mental problems, and that 800-pound gorilla
of them all: domestic violence.
"Virtually every time I represented a father
in a parenting case, he was accused of abuse.
I began to anticipate the dreaded 'crimes list,'
that litany of alleged wrongs committed by my
client against the wife and children, beginning
with 'he kicked me in the stomach while I was
pregnant' (15 years ago) culminating with 'his
abuse is escalating,' 'I'm fearful for my safety,'
and of course, 'he's inappropriately touching
the children.' It's as though these allegations
were produced by the same scriptwriter, since
so many of the buzzwords were repeated over
and over.
"As I would learn later, they often were produced
by the same writers, the 'battered women's advocates,'
who appeared to be taking a few extreme cases
of domestic violence and applying them across
the board. Men who physically battered their
wives started by verbally battering them, so
in their twisted logic, every man who verbally
'abused' his spouse necessarily must be physically
battering her too. Women who wanted an easy
way of out a marriage, and to assure custody
of the children, eagerly signed up for 'victim's
benefits.' All the woman had to do was say she
was abused, and the domestic violence advocates
eagerly welcomed a new customer. Never mind
that the wife was playing fast and loose with
the real facts...Every factor determining the
children's residential time with each parent
could be trumped by one nearly irrefutable claim:
domestic violence."
Drexler Assures Newsweek
that Boys Don't Need Fathers
Last week I mentioned that
Newsweek did a story on the boy crisis
in education (see
Some Vindication for Boy Advocates).
As we've noted before, the presence
or absence of a father in a child's life has
a huge impact on a child's school performance.
In the story it was noted (accurately) that
"An adolescent boy without a father figure is
like an explorer without a map."
At this Peggy Drexler,
author of the anti-father book
Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms
Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional
Men, couldn't resist opening her yap,
sending a letter in which she assured us (of
course) that boys don't need fathers. Read Drexler's
letter
here. I've criticized Drexler and Raising
Boys in my columns
Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers?
(San Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05) and
Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Parents
Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily,
9/10/05).
In dismissing the importance
of fathers, Drexler stresses that single or
double mothers can raise boys effectively.
As I noted in one of the above columns, "of
course there are many single and lesbian mothers
who can and do effectively raise boys, just
as there are many 'traditional' couples who
can't. But children raised by a mother and a
father fare much better, on average, than children
raised by single mothers. As comedian Chris
Rock famously noted, yes, certainly women can
raise children without men, but that doesn't
make it a good idea. Drexler encourages women
to choose to have fatherless children, a choice
which is clearly not in children's best interests."
Perhaps Chris Rock explains
it best--to hear Rock on fatherlessness,
click here (Warning--explicit language).
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New Feminist Scam:
Shared Parenting Advocates are 'Fathers
Supremacy Groups'
In the latest "Ask
Beth" column in the Boston Globe,
extreme feminist Garland Waller writes:
"Fathers supremacy groups
promulgate Parental Alienation Syndrome. Lawyers
and judges mistakenly believe it has some merit,
even though the American Psychological Association
discounts it.
"What is important is that parents who are abusers
use it to 'prove' that the person bringing up
the abuse is an 'alienator.' So if a loving,
protective parent alleges abuse, that parent
can lose custody because he/she is an 'alienator,'
and an abuser can get custody."
I've been noticing this phrase--"Fathers supremacy
groups"--more and more. For example the Michigan
National Organization for Women uses it in this
Action Alert regarding
Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories.
I would love to see Waller or NOW try to find
some examples of advocacy of "fathers'
supremacy"
advocacy in the materials of some of the major
shared parenting/fatherhood groups.
Does anybody remember
that long, long ago, feminist groups actually
encouraged fathers' involvement in their
children's lives? Seems like ancient history...
Glenn Discusses 'Gray Divorce' on Montreal's
Newstalk CJAD 800
I discussed gray divorce
and my co-authored column
The Rise in 'Gray Divorce': It's Always Hubby's
Fault (Cincinnati Post, Kentucky
Post, 1/30/06) on the
Kevin and Trudie Show on CJAD 800,
Montreal, Quebec, Canada on February 8. I like
both Kevin Holden and Trudie Mason but their
views of divorce in general is an example of
what we wrote in the article--"media commentators
agree on one thing--when the husband divorces
his wife, it's hubby's fault. When the wife
divorces her husband, well, it's hubby's fault
too."
Still I give Trudie credit--she
seemed very interested in and sympathetic to
the problems divorced fathers have in maintaining
meaningful relationships with their children.
Woman Whose Husband Was Trapped Underground
in Recent Mining Accident Has New Appreciation
for Men
The sacrifices
men make to support their wives and children
are greatly underappreciated both by the media,
our family courts, our politicians, and by women
themselves. Jennifer sent me the following letter:
"Through my
most recent life experience, I have found
a brand new appreciation for so many men.
"My husband
was stuck underground in a fire 1/2 a mile below
the earth's surface at a Potash mine.
It was in a 25 mile radius of tunnels under
there filled with black smoke so thick the rescue
teams could not even see their lights on their
hats. The smoke was so thick at the shaft
(cage, or elevator) that the second rescue
team had to go down to rescue the first team.
"It was the
world's largest oven with heat so hot the earth
was shifting under their feet but these men
did not stop. Thirty-two men were missing
and presumed dead (those men were contractors
for a company called Dynatec) The foreman at
Dynatec who was down there with the 32 when
the fire broke out instantly ordered the men
to fight the fire. They were nowhere near
equipped to do so. With the heat and the smoke,
they never had oxygen masks or anything--just
fire extinguishers.
"Realizing
this, the foreman ordered his men to start setting
up Brattice (sealed off smoke proof walls).
They made 7 walls of Brattice and sealed off
all air vents so the smoke couldn't come through
then went to refuge in a room that had oxygen
tanks (enough oxygen for only 36 hours max).
Our rescue teams (11 total) were out for 27
hours, some down well after their oxygen limit.
"They did finally
get our men out. Nobody was killed and
I tell you it was sheer intelligence that saved
every last one of those lives. Even men
who drink beer everyday after work and who are
often belittled saved the lives of our men.
"Crazy things
that ran through my mind all night. We didn't
know if we were going to see our husbands again.
Sure they told the media they were perfectly
safe but they didn't really know that for sure
I know now just how much I really do love my
husband and just how smart and brave he is.
I haven't left his side since 7:00 AM Monday
morning and I think we get along a lot better.
I did take him for granted and I plan on treating
him like gold for the rest of our lives.
"You are right--we
do belittle men. Thank God we left that night
on happy terms and didn't have an argument before
he left for work. Never leave on bad terms,
because you never really know if you are going
to see that person again. And always kiss
and hug your spouse when you say good bye.
I was sure happy I did and I know 72 wives that
will from now on.
"Just thought
you might want to hear something about men on
a more positive note. I know you are sick
of men being cut down. I deeply love my
husband and I will treat him like gold from
here on in."
Jennifer's
story reminds me of Terry Helms, one of the
Virginia miners killed in January. According
to the Associated Press' "After Reports
to the Contrary, Only One Miner Survives" (1/4/06):
"Nick Helms, who waited
all day for news of his father, Terry, said
his father, a strapping 50-year-old, had endured
numerous injuries in a 30-year career and hated
mining because of the dangers, but refused to
quit because the job put food on the table.
"'He gave his life in there
so I could go to the movies,' Mr. Helms, 25,
said of his father. Switching to the present
tense, Mr. Helms added, 'He is very selfless.'"
For generations men risked
their safety and their lives to provide for
their wives and children, and some still do
today. In my column
Hate My Father? No Ma'am! (World Net
Daily, 4/8/02), I wrote of the "feminist
re-writing of the pre-feminist past as a virtual
dark ages where men lived like nobles and women
were their serfs." I noted:
"Tens of millions
of male blue collar workers--who put their bodies
on the line in the coal mines and steel mills
so their wives and children could live in safety
and comfort--have been turned into oppressors.
Their wives and children, for whom these men
sacrificed so much, have been turned into their
victims.
"Edited out
of our history are the tragedies of millions
of American men who were killed or maimed on
what early trade unionists called the 'battlefield
of labor.' The miners who died in cave-ins,
explosions, or of black lung disease. The sailors
and fisherman who died at sea. The oil refinery
workers killed in explosions. The factory workers
killed in industrial accidents. The construction
workers who died carving train tracks and then
highways through majestic mountain cliffs or
the scorching desert. The construction workers
who died building our bridges, dams, high rises,
stadiums, and apartments. "
Also on the
subject, see my column
The Price of Fatherhood--a Father's Reply to
Ann Crittenden's 'Mothers' Manifesto' (Los
Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal,
1/10/02) and my co-authored column
Indiana Woman's 'Housework Strike': Maybe It's
Husbands Who Should Strike (Gary Post-Tribune,
11/8/02).
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First-Grader Suspended
For Sexual Harassment
According to the Associated
Press:
"A Brockton, Massachusetts
first grader was suspended for three days after
school officials said he sexually harassed a
girl in his class by allegedly putting two fingers
inside the girl's waistband while she sat on
the floor in front of him.
"The boy's mother, Berthena Dorinvil, said she
'screamed' about last week's suspension from
Downey Elementary School, and added her son
doesn't know what sexual harassment is.
"'He doesn't know those things,' she told
The Enterprise of Brockton. 'He's only 6
years old.'
"School officials declined comment to The
Enterprise, citing the child's age.
"'They would have not suspended the child without
doing an investigation,' said spokeswoman Cynthia
McNally.
"Dorinvil said the school principal, Diane Gosselin,
called her to pick up her son Jan. 30. She said
her son asked the principal if the police were
going to come get him.
"The principal told Dorinvil the girl complained
to the teacher after her son touched the girl's
waistband, hitting her skin, in a room full
of children.
"Dorinvil said her son told her he touched the
girl's shirt, not her skin, after the girl touched
him.
"'He was playing with her,' Dorinvil said."
The boy's mother is standing
up for him and has some choice things to say
during an interview--click here to
watch.
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
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