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The American Coalition for Fathers
and Children The American Coalition for Fathers
and Children is dedicated to
creating a family law system which
promotes equal rights for all
parties affected by divorce. Contact
the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit
them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
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Parenting
Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an
easy-to-use software program
designed for divorced parents to
track their parenting plan schedules
over many years. Do-it-yourself or
let us build your approved parenting
plan into a multi-year calendar so
that you can print, share, or modify
the calendar later. Parents,
attorneys, arbitrators and mediators
can generate equitable parenting
plans, which is especially useful
for parents seeking fair division of
their children's time. FREE
ASSISTANCE TO OUR CLIENTS- $49.95
one-time charge, FREE TRIAL &
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Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource Center
is a division of
Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER),
located in Dallas, Texas, with
offices in both Dallas and Ft.
Worth. In existence for over three
decades, it has services and
resources for dads nationwide and is
one of the largest and most active
fathers' rights organizations in the
U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
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DV Conference Report #3: 12-Year-Old Boys in Abusive Families Aren't Allowed to Go to Shelters with Their Mothers, but Instead Go to Foster Care
Background: The historic, one-of-a-kind conference
"From Ideology to Inclusion: Evidence-Based Policy and Intervention in Domestic Violence" was held in Sacramento, California February 15-16 and was a major success. The conference was sponsored by the
California Alliance for Families and Children and featured leading domestic violence authorities from around the world.
Many of these researchers are part of the
National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center, which is challenging the domestic violence establishment's stranglehold on the issue. The NFVLRC promotes gender-natural, research-based DV policies.
I have been and will continue to detail the conference and some of the research that was presented there in this blog--to learn more, click
here.
One morning during the conference I had breakfast with two remarkable ladies, Erin Pizzey and Patricia Overberg. Pizzey founded the first battered women's shelter in the world in 1971, and Overberg was the first battered women's shelter director in California to admit male victims of domestic violence to the shelter. As bad as things are, both of them told me things which were amazing and horrifying. Pizzey told the following story:
A woman was being abused by her violent husband and sought shelter. She had three children, two young ones and a 12-year-old boy. She wanted to go to a battered women's shelter and, of course, take her children with her. However, the feminists who run the battered women's shelters in England have a policy that no boys aged 12 or older are allowed into the shelters.
The woman was presented with the equivalent of Sophie's Choice. Either she could return to her violent husband, and risk both herself and her children, or she could submit to the feminist policy. She chose the latter. Rather than allow the boy to stay with his mother and his siblings in the battered women's shelter, the boy instead had to wait in the police station, while his mother and siblings went off to
a shelter. The English equivalent of child protective services was called, and the boy was picked up and placed in foster care!
Overberg told me the same thing happens in California and in much of the United States.
I don't doubt what Pizzey and Overberg say, but I still find it a little hard to get my head around. For one, one could make the feminist argument that this policy keeps abused women in violent relationships because they will not want to leave their abusers if they cannot take all of their children with them. Secondly, I find it a little hard to believe that even the feminist true believers who run the shelters could be so bigoted and uncaring.
To read
more, click
here.
Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the
Child-Father Bond Fathers & Families is a non-profit
organization advocating for the
right of every child to have two
parents. Called by some a "fathers'
rights organization," Fathers &
Families is made up of men and women
who believe that fathers are an
essential part of a child's life and
that divorce or separation should
not change this.
www.FathersandFamilies.org
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FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS?
Domestic Violence. Child Sexual
Assault. Child Protective Services
Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle &
Ferguson
www.PaulStuckle.com /
falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com |
Ex-Cop John
McLaughlin: 'No one wakes up one
morning and begins to beat their
spouse...When looking for
patterns of behavior it becomes
clear whether the charge is
true'
"Research shows that
domestic violence, child
abuse or child sexual abuse
are all patterns of
behaviors. No one wakes up
one morning and begins to
beat their spouse or
children. There is a pattern
of behavior that happens
over time. When time is
spent looking for these
patterns of behavior it
becomes very clear whether
or not the allegations are
true or false." One
of the biggest problems
accused fathers face in
divorce and custody are
false allegations of
domestic violence. John
McLaughlin and Karen Borders
of
Borders, McLaughlin &
Associates are former
police detectives who employ
an investigative approach to
"He said/She said" domestic
violence cases. Their
Domestic Violence and Child
Abuse Risk Assessments are
designed to prove or
disprove abuse allegations,
and to answer the questions
judges face.
Part I of my interview
with John can be found
here. Part II is below.
Q. It seems that
most domestic violence cases
revolve around a "He
Said/She Said" scenario that
men usually lose. You claim
your services can get men
beyond this dilemma--how?
First this is very easy
to get beyond if time is
spent looking into the
allegations. Research shows
that domestic violence,
child abuse or child sexual
abuse are all patterns of
behaviors. No one wakes up
one morning and begins to
beat their spouse or
children. There is a pattern
of behavior that happens
over time. When time is
spent looking for these
patterns of behavior it
becomes very clear whether
or not the allegations are
true or false.
For example, if a man has
never shown any warning
signs or behaviors
associated with domestic
violence and now there is a
single allegation of DV,
there is not a great
likelihood that it occurred,
especially if it was not
witnessed by anyone. The
reality is family, friends,
neighbors and others know
what is going on. They might
not know that they know what
is going on, but when they
are asked the right
questions, they have a
wealth of information. It is
like putting a puzzle
together. Pieces come from
many different sources.
Domestic violence
homicides are the most
predictable and preventable
homicide that occurs. They
read like a map book if
someone who understands the
patterns of behaviors is
looking at it. Once you
understand this, it becomes
pretty clear what is
happening and whether an
allegation is true or false.
Q How do you
conduct your Domestic
Violence and Child Abuse
Risk Assessments? How do you
know they're accurate?
We conduct our risk
assessments with a
collaborative team of
experts who are specifically
trained in domestic
violence, child abuse and
child sexual abuse. This
team conducts an
investigation into the
allegations by searching for
evidence of the patterns of
behaviors known to be
associated with DV and child
abuse.
Interviews are conducted
of the involved parties.
Documents are analyzed for
inconsistent statements,
witnesses are located and
interviewed. We utilize all
available resources to look
at the context of the
allegations, to look at
patterns of behaviors, and
determine what the truth is.
Utilizing two or three
different disciplines and
perspectives allows us to
look at the allegations from
different angles so nothing
is missed.
Additionally, we are
capable of doing these risk
assessments one-sided. What
I mean by this is if there
is an allegation against a
man, we can do the
assessment without even
having to talk to the woman.
Since we do not rely on just
what one person tells us, we
are capable of developing
our own sources of
information.
Again we are looking for
patterns of behaviors.
To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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A Legal Advocate for Fathers in Los
Angeles & Ventura Counties The Law Offices of Adam Michael
Sacks, Esq., handles cases of all
sizes with compassion,
understanding, and a commitment to
helping fathers protect themselves
in a divorce. Don't assume anything
and don't sign anything--call Adam
Sacks, Esq. at 1-800-340-7320,
or write him at
adam@adamlawyer.com.
www.adamlawyer.com (No relation) |
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FALSELY ACCUSED IN NORTHERN
CALIFORNIA?
If you've been falsely
accused of domestic violence, sexual
abuse, child molestation, or other
crimes of a sexual nature, contact
The Law Offices of Douglas R. Slain.
Slain is a specialist who has worked
for over 30 years to defend falsely
accused men and fathers. To
learn more, click
here,
or call 800-438-6820. |
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Venus: The Dark Side Discover how she has 'played' you.
For the first time ever, a book that
tells you exactly how manipulative
and deceitful women win against
their unsuspecting prey – and
there's detailed information about
what you can do about it. Read Roy
Sheppard and Mary T Cleary's book
"Venus: The Dark Side". Amazon 5
star reviewers say "An astounding
book." "Required reading for
all young men today." Visit
www.venusthedarkside.com |
A Woman Who Has
Her Priorities Straight
Beer gets seatbelt. Child
doesn't 2/6/08 ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla.
- Police have arrested a
motorist they say had a
24-pack of beer strapped in
with a seat belt but had a
16-month-old girl
unrestrained in the back
seat with the toddler's
mother.
Tina D. Williams was
pulled over in St. Augustine
on Sunday for allegedly
running a red light.
A 24-pack of Busch beer
was strapped in with the
passenger-side seat belt,
according to an arrest
report. The girl was in the
back seat with 20-year-old
Amber Tedrick, who is the
toddler's mother.
Williams, 46, said she
didn't know why the child
wasn't restrained.
Williams refused to take
a breath test and a deputy
found two metal pipes
commonly used to smoke drugs
in her purse, authorities
said.
Williams was charged with
driving under the influence,
child abuse, possession of
drug paraphernalia and
driving without a license, a
jail official said. She
remained in the St. Johns
County jail Tuesday after
bail was set at $31,000.
The jail did not have the
name of her attorney. It was
not clear if Tedrick would
face any charges, but the
child was released to her
care, according to the Florida Times-Union.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
Thanks to Mike, a reader,
for the story.
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HELP FOR NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
FATHERS
If you're a father in
Northern California who's going
through a divorce or its aftermath
and need legal help, contact
The Law Offices of Douglas R. Slain.
Slain, a graduate of Stanford Law
School, has over 30 years of
experience in family law and
criminal defense. He can help you
protect your relationship with your
kids and your finances. To
learn more, click
here,
or call 800-438-6820. |
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Help for NYC Fathers The Law Office of Tracey A. Bloodsaw
provides quality family law services
at affordable rates. We pride
ourselves on serving a community
that is often neglected--fathers.
Our areas of practice include:
divorce; child custody/visitation;
child support; domestic violence;
and many others. Call 718.274.1599
or go to
www.traceyabloodsaw.com. |
Husband Is Idiot
in AT & T Commercial
Hubby is an idiot who
gambles away the family's
money and then reports his
idiocy to his wife, who
is--guess what?--smarter and
more responsible than him. There are two versions of
the ad, similar and
similarly insulting. The
first one can be seen
here. The
second one can be seen
here.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Men on the Defensive--A Blog
by Family Law/Criminal Defense
Attorney Douglas R. Slain
Family Law/Criminal Defense Attorney
Douglas R. Slain's blog
Men on the Defensive discusses
the cultural bias against men as
well as the key family law and
criminal law issues facing men and
fathers today.
http://www.menonthedefensive.com/ |
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Falsely Accused? How to
Get Beyond the 'He Said/She
Said' Dilemma Restraining orders and supervised
visitation orders are often issued
after relying solely on statements
made by the accuser and the accused.
Borders, McLaughlin & Associates are
former police detectives who employ
a new and different approach to such
cases. Their Domestic Violence and
Child Abuse Risk Assessments are
designed to prove or disprove abuse
allegations, and to answer the
questions judges face. Contact them at (888) 621-1900 or go
to
www.bmaa.com |
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Help for San Diego, Riverside
Fathers The Law Offices of Robert M. Bennett
provides caring and compassionate
divorce and family law services to
clients in San Diego and Riverside
Counties. His areas of practice
include every aspect of family law,
such as divorce, paternity, child
custody, child support, spousal
support, property division, and
post-divorce modification of
existing orders. Call 760-631-2082
or go to
www.robertmbennett.com
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Child Support
Enforcement's Endless Errors
(Part III): Dead Guy Falls
Behind on His Child Support, Has
Taxes Seized--'Being Dead Is No
Excuse for Not Paying,' D.A.
Says
Background:
Critics of divorced fathers
and so-called "deadbeat
dads" are often unaware of
the many problems with the
way child support is set and
enforced. One of these
problems is the phenomenal
amount of errors Child
Support enforcement agencies
make. I'll be running
stories about them as part
of my series called "Child
Support Enforcement's
Endless Errors." Former California
Assemblyman Rod Wright, a
leading advocate of child
support reform, says, "When
you die, you can go up or
you can go down, but either
way child support
enforcement is still gonna
get their money." Below is
an example. According to
Dead Man Billed For Child
Support:
"A widow says she's still
getting bills from the
Nebraska Child Support
Office addressed to her late
husband, asking for money.
The Nebraska Child Support
Office is asking for
payments, even though her
husband passed away a year
ago.
"'He has two children
that live in Texas and he
had been paying child
support on them,' said Dawn
Hunt.
"Hunt used to live in
Lincoln, but after her
husband died, she moved to
Des Moines, IA, and got a
new job.
"'Mid-November, I
received a bill in Chad's
name to my new address in
Iowa. It was from the
Nebraska Child Support
Office. I opened it up and
it said, 'your child support
is past due,' and I was like
'what is this?'" said Hunt.
"Hunt said she was told
that the child support
office knew he was deceased.
Hunt said the office person
she spoke with told her that
an order needed to be made
to stop payments and that
the office would take care
of it...
"Hunt has racked up
around $4,000 in owed child
support since his death. Due
to the owed child support,
Dawn Hunt's federal tax
refunds were withheld for
about a month because she
filed jointly with her
husband."
Perhaps the least
trustworthy words ever are
when an error is pointed out
to child support enforcement
and they promise to "take
care of it."
BTW, I was just joking
about "'Being Dead Is No
Excuse for Not Paying,' D.A.
Says." No district attorney
would ever say such a thing.
I think. To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
Jeff Leving's New Book--Divorce
Wars Jeffery M. Leving, one of America's
most prominent divorce lawyers, has
written a new book on how to win any
divorce fairly, even when your
spouse brings out the heavy
artillery.
Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the
Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes,
and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets
Ugly provides essential advice
on everything from picking the right
lawyer and devising a winning
settlement strategy to getting the
most from your day in court and
dealing with an ex-spouse.
Divorce Wars is available
here.
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SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for
Michigan Men & Fathers If you're a Michigan man faced with
divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your
side--SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart
Advocacy Means
Stopping Oppression Now.
INeedSamson.com
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'My son was asked
'What do you consider to be your
main home? The court asked him
four more times until he said,
‘mummy’s house’
"Jim Parton, of Families
Need Fathers, said that,
although children should be
listened to, those
interviewing them needed to
be very skilled to ensure
that they did not ask
leading questions. 'With my
son when he was asked, aged
5, ‘What do you consider to
be your main
home?'
"He
said, ‘I have mummy’s house
and daddy’s house’. The
court welfare officer then
asked him the question four
more times and led him by
the nose until he said,
‘Mummy’s house’,” Mr Parton
said."
Back
in 2005 Anthony Douglas, the
head of the UK Children and
Family Court Advisory
Support Service (Cafcass),
stated that children as
young as 7 should be allowed
to decide which parent they
want to live with in cases
of divorce or separation.
I'm appalled, and am happy
to see that UK fatherhood
groups criticized this idea.
On a larger
level, I think when kids are
given too much say over
custody arrangements, the
result is that parents are
afraid to properly
discipline or set limits for
their teenagers. They're
afraid that if they do so,
the child will want to go
live with the other parent,
who may be enticing them
with a sweeter deal. I
receive plenty of letters
from both divorced fathers
and mothers who say their
former spouse has done this.
I'm dubious
about family courts even
allowing children ages 12 or
14 to decide which parent
they want to live with. Some
children that age have the
maturity to make a good
decision, some don't. Also,
kids can be easily
manipulated and bribed, not
to mention alienated or
poisoned by one parent or
another.
The story from July 2005
is below. Thanks to Steve
Bayliss.
'Let 7-year-olds choose
between their parents'
The Times,
July 23, 2005
By Alexandra Frean, Social
Affairs Correspondent
CHILDREN as young as 7
should be allowed to decide
which parent they want to
live with in cases of
divorce or separation,
Anthony Douglas, the head of
the Children and Family
Court Advisory Support
Service (Cafcass), has
said. The “wishes and needs”
expressed by children, and
not their parents, should be
the starting point for
settling residence and
contact disputes, he
said.“
Most children over the
age of 7, 8 or 9, depending
on their emotional
development, will have a
very clear view of what they
want to happen. That view
should stand unless there
are safeguarding issues or
some other overriding
welfare issues.“
Children,
when trusted and empowered,
usually tell the truth. They
will have thought about
these issues very deeply.
With their parents
separating, they will be in
a situation they don’t want
to be in — they won’t have
voted for it.
“They will tell
you what they want to
happen. That should be your
starting point,” Mr Douglas
told The Times.
Mr
Douglas emphasised that,
ideally, children should
spend time with both
parents, but should be
allowed to decide who to
live with most of the
time.
He acknowledged that
asking children was
difficult, but said that the
real test of whether parents
wanted what was in their
children’s best interests
was whether they would allow
their children to have a
say.
Father’s groups reacted
angrily to Mr Douglas’s
comments, saying that they
would be bound to favour
mothers in disputed custody
cases. Tony Coe, of the
Equal Parenting Council,
said that it was for parents
to decide what was in
children’s best interests.
“Children should not be
given the option to opt out
of one parent any more than
they are allowed to opt out
of school or going to the
dentist,” he said.
Matt O’Connor, a
spokesman for
Fathers4Justice, said that
Mr Douglas’s approach
represented a gross
abdication of responsibility
on the part of Cafcass,
which was set up in 2001 to
co-ordinate the
representation of children’s
interests before the courts.
“It could leave children
feeling very guilty if they
felt they had been
responsible for driving one
parent or other from their
lives,” he said.
Both organisations said
that allowing children to
decide would favour the
parent with care at the time
of the contact dispute,
usually the mother, as there
was a risk that she could
poison the child’s mind
against the absent parent,
usually the father... To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Help for Midwest Fathers
Cordell & Cordell is one of the
largest domestic relations firms for
men in the Midwest, representing
fathers in Missouri, Illinois,
Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia.
Men who come to Cordell & Cordell
know that their interests and the
interests of their children will be
aggressively championed.
www.cordellcordell.com
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Civil War - A Father's Guide to
Winning Child Custody
Joseph E. Cordell's
Civil War - A Father's Guide to
Winning Child Custody gives
fathers clear, easy-to-understand
tips on how to achieve the best
results possible in a divorce.
Comprehensive chapters explain every
step of the divorce process, the
meaning of legal terms, how courts
determine custody, and how to
maximize chances of victory at every
stage. Cordell is the founder of
Cordell & Cordell.
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Family Law Help for Dads
Nationwide The Alliance for Single Parents
helps dads nationwide with child
custody, child support, Parental
Alienation, and other family law
problems. If you've got a family law
problem and are looking for a
resolution at a reasonable price,
call the Alliance for Single Parents
at 1-888-937-3466 (1-888-We're Home)
or email them by clicking
here.
www.allianceforsingleparents.com
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The Gender-based Double-Standard on Labels &
Stereotypes

I think this comic makes a very prescient
point about the way women are sensitive
about being labeled in certain ways, but
thoughtlessly apply demeaning or insulting
labels to men. The comic is
"Girls and Sports"--thanks to Tim, a
reader, for sending it.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Help for Florida Dads
Neil Leavitt, PA helps Florida
dads defend their relationships with
their children during divorce or
separation. Leavitt specializes in
family law and has practiced law for
nearly three decades. The
Law Office of Neil Leavitt can
be contacted by phone at (954)
989-5858. |
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Help for Colorado Dads As someone who has personally
experienced the heartbreak of
divorce and family breakup,
Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to
advance the interests and concerns
of fathers in domestic and family
law litigation. Personal attention
is given to clients to help them
through a very difficult time in
their lives.
www.brettwmartin.com
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McMartin Pre-Schooler: 'I Lied'
"I
remember telling them nothing happened to
me...Anytime I would give them an answer
that they didn't like, they would ask again
and encourage me to give them the answer
they were looking for. It was really obvious
what they wanted..."
In
several posts lately we've discussed how
impressionable children can be manipulated
into having fake memories or telling adults
whatever they think adults want to hear. One
of the best examples of this is the McMartin
Pre-School case.
In November, 2005 the Los Angeles
Times published the article "McMartin
Pre-Schooler: 'I Lied': A long-delayed
apology from one of the accusers in the
notorious McMartin Pre-School molestation
case." It is a horrifying read.
Kyle Zirpolo, now 30 years-old, writes:
"[As a child] I remember them asking
extremely uncomfortable questions about
whether Ray [Buckey, a defendant] touched
me and about all the teachers and what they
did--and I remember telling them nothing
happened to me. I remember them almost
giggling and laughing, saying, 'Oh, we know
these things happened to you. Why don't you
just go ahead and tell us? Use these dolls
if you're scared.'
"Anytime I would give them an answer that
they didn't like, they would ask again and
encourage me to give them the answer they
were looking for. It was really obvious what
they wanted...
"I felt uncomfortable and a little
ashamed that I was being dishonest. But at
the same time, being the type of person I
was, whatever my parents wanted me to do, I
would do. And I thought they wanted me to
help protect my little brother and sister
who went to McMartin...
"My parents were very encouraging when I
said that things happened. It was almost
like saying things happened was going to
help get these people in jail and stop them
from what they were trying to do to kids.
Also, there were so many kids saying all
these things happened that you didn't want
to be the one who said nothing did. You
wouldn't be believed if you said that.
"I remember feeling like they didn't pick
just anybody--they picked me because I had a
good memory of what they wanted, and they
could rely on me to do a good job. I don't
think they thought I was telling the truth,
just that I was telling the same stories
consistently, doing what needed to be done
to get these teachers judged guilty. I felt
special. Important.
"It always seemed like I was thinking. I
would listen to what my parents would say if
they were talking, or to what someone else
would say if we were being questioned at the
police station or anywhere. And I would
repeat things. Or if it wasn't a story I'd
heard, I would think of something in my
head. I would try to think of the worst
thing possible that would be harmful to a
child. I remember once I said that if you
had a cut, instead of putting a Band-Aid on
it, the McMartin teachers would put on dirt,
then put the Band-Aid over the dirt. That
was just something in my head that was bad.
I just thought of it and told [the
investigators]...
"The lawyers had all my stories written
down and knew exactly what I had said
before. So I knew I would have to say those
exact things again and not have anything be
different, otherwise they would know I was
lying. I put a lot of pressure on myself. At
night in bed, I would think hard about
things I had said in the past and try to
repeat only the things I knew I'd said
before..."
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Families Against Confiscatory Child
Support (FACCS) FACCS is the national voice for fair
and reasonable child support. FACCS
believes all parents have an
obligation to support their children
financially. However, in high income
cases, state and federal laws often
result in excessive awards that are
effectively alimony in disguise and
have little to do with supporting
children. Huge child support awards
lead to protracted custody disputes,
undermines co-parenting, and leaves
children worse off financially.
www.faccsonline.org /
contact@faccsonline.org |
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Help for Florida Dads
Neil Leavitt, PA helps Florida
dads defend their relationships with
their children during divorce or
separation. Leavitt specializes in
family law and has practiced law for
nearly three decades. The
Law Office of Neil Leavitt can
be contacted by phone at (954)
989-5858. |
Text Messages as
'Stalking' or 'Abuse'
Sending
text messages, in some
contexts, can be considered
stalking or abuse. In
general, I don't take this
very seriously--we often get
ominous reports of a man
violating a domestic
violence restraining order
when it turns out that all
he did was text message his
ex about child pickup or
drop-off arrangements.
Still, the case below is
enough to qualify--a
23-year-old woman text
messaged her ex-boyfriend
10,783 times in 65 days.
Wayne, a reader, for sending
me the story below. Wayne
writes:
"She got no actual
punishment, but I'll bet
that was a very stern finger
wagging she received. She
may have even got a
'withering glare' from the
magistrate. A man would be
in jail, charged with
stalking. She violated the
order at least once
already."
Boyfriend takes jilted ex to
court after she bombarded
him with 10,000 texts
A bitter ex-girlfriend
bombarded her former lover
with 10,000 abusive phone
and text messages in just 65
days - an average of one
every eight minutes.
Obsessed Lee Amor, 23,
called or texted Timothy
Mortimore 10,783 times after
falling pregnant by another
man - but convinced herself
the baby was his.
Amor sent him used
pregnancy tests and left
a bottle of urine on his
doorstep in an attempt to
show him he was the father
of her unborn child.
She loitered outside his
home, followed him and his
current partner by car,
approached him at work
demanding they talk, sent a
piece of glass she had used
to cut herself and made
gestures of self-harm in
front of him.
But Amor walked free from
court after pleading guilty
to harassment between July
28 and September 30 last
year "in texting, sending
mobile video messages,
telephone calls, and in
person", contrary to a
warning issued on July 28.
She was given a
conditional discharge for
two years, told to pay £200
costs and made the subject
of a restraining order which
bars her from contacting him
or approaching his home in
Torquay, Devon.
In a statement to the
court, Timothy Mortimore
said: "It has caused me
physical and emotional
fatigue. I did not want to
see her.
"I wish this constant
pressure to stop so I can
lead a normal life with my
current partner."
Speaking after the
hearing, Timothy, a home
electronics store manager,
said his ex girlfriend made
his life a "nightmare".
He said: "It has been a
hard seven months and I just
want to put it behind me.
No-one can imagine what a
nightmare this has been.
"I think the sentence is
sufficient. I did not want
to get her into trouble with
the law but this was the
last resort when she was
knocking on the door day and
night.
"I had no choice. She
needs help and I tried to
get it for her."
South Devon Magistrates
Court in Torquay heard Amor
had fallen pregnant after
they broke up following a
six month relationship and
was convinced it was her
former partner's.
John Watson, prosecuting,
said she had been issued
with a warning by officers
about her behaviour in July
but went on to contact him
an "astronomical" number of
times.
He said: "They had broken
up in June and she had taken
it very badly, and it
appeared to be over an
ex-boyfriend.
"On September 29 she did
something bizarre. She
appeared to be making
gestures of self-harm to her
wrists."
When police were called
they found Amor close to Mr
Mortimore's home and after
examining her phone logs
found a high volume of calls
and texts to his numbers.
Mr Watson added: "Between
July and September this came
to an astronomical total of
10,843, many abusive or
threatening self-harm.
"Over the space of 65
days this means on average
she was making contact once
every eight minutes.
"In interview, Amor
admitted to police she had
also sent him items through
the post, including
pregnancy tests. It was an
attempt to prove she was
pregnant and it was his
child she was pregnant with.
"That did not appear to
be true and Mr Mortimore has
refuted that."
John Smethurst,
defending, said she had
started contacted her
ex-boyfriend when she
believed her baby was his
and he would not talk to
her.
He said: "At the time she
thought it was his child but
it is not. She thought it
was his and he just dropped
her and refused to have
anything to do with her.
"She was upset and wanted
to talk to him about it and
has over used the telephone
but she had a reason for
doing so."
Read the full article
here. To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Help for Houston Fathers The Law Offices of Thomas A. Martin
helps fathers with Family Law and
Criminal Defense in Houston and
surrounding areas. Martin handles
divorce, child custody, alimony,
domestic violence, restraining
orders and a wide variety of issues
fathers face.
www.thomasamartin.com |
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Help for Seattle Fathers The Law Offices of O. Yale Lewis III
is a one-person law firm that
focuses on customer care. Mr. Lewis
can help you identify and focus on
the outcome that you want and
implement the steps necessary to get
there.
www.yalelewislaw.com.
|
As if Family Law
Weren't Invasive Enough, Now
Divorce Attorneys Know Where You
Are Via Your Electronic Toll
Road Data
"Divorce
attorneys track the every
move of California motorists
who use FasTrak electronic
toll road transponders.
Records of every trip a
motorist takes on an
electronic toll road over a
five-year period is fair
game for divorce
attorneys...Divorce lawyer
Alexandra Mussallem uses
FasTrak to build a case.
"'We often have
arguments about whether or
not one spouse works to his
or her maximum earning
capacity,' Mussallem told
the Times. 'If someone hits
the Bay Bridge toll plaza at
noon on a day he said he was
working, you know he's not
working. He might be with
his girlfriend in Contra
Costa County.'"
I object to this invasion
of privacy. And needless to
say, the reporter justifies
it by pointing to the
stereotype of the deadbeat
dad shirking his work and
his child support payments,
so he can--surprise--slip
away with the woman he
probably abandoned his wife
for. The article is
below--thanks to Thomas, a
reader, for sending it to
me.
California: Divorce
Attorneys Raid Electronic
Toll Road Data 6/14/2007
Divorce attorneys track
the every move of California
motorists who use FasTrak
electronic toll road
transponders.
Records of every trip a
motorist takes on an
electronic toll road over a
five-year period is fair
game for divorce attorneys
and others given access to
California's FasTrak system.
The device records the
location, date and time that
a vehicle equipped with a
transponder passes a tolling
checkpoint. The data is held
indefinitely.
A Contra Costa Times
investigation earlier this
month found about twenty
subpoenas used in the past
two years to gain
information about a handful
of the 620,000 FasTrak users
in the San Francisco Bay
area who crossed one of
eight toll bridges. Divorce
lawyer Alexandra Mussallem
uses FasTrak to build a
case.
"We often have arguments
about whether or not one
spouse works to his or her
maximum earning capacity,"
Mussallem told the Times.
"If someone hits the Bay
Bridge toll plaza at noon on
a day he said he was
working, you know he's not
working. He might be with
his girlfriend in Contra
Costa County."
FasTrak has an
unadvertised anonymous
account option for motorists
who do not wish to be
tracked. A FasTrak device --
which still has a serial
number and is tracked -- is
linked to an account with no
personal details. The
motorist may go to a service
center in person to update
the account with cash. To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
Help for Orange County
Dads--Free Consultation Family law attorney J. Christian
Conrad in Orange County, California
helps fathers with divorce, child
custody/visitation, child
support, domestic violence, property
division, alimony, and other family
law problems. Call 949 457-0101 for
a free consultation. www.jcc-law.com |
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Pre-Paid Legal Services for
Divorced Dads
Pre-Paid Legal gives members
access to professional legal counsel
both for traditional legal problems
and for everyday events where legal
review should be routine, but rarely
is. For Pre-Paid Legal members,
access to legal counsel is only a
toll-free phone call away. This is
an ideal product for divorced
dads--to learn more, click
here or call Josh Case. |
Embattled Police
Chief Says Charge of Spousal
Rape was Concocted by Ex-Wife in
Custody Battle
Background: There's a
lot at stake in divorce
proceedings, and false
spousal rape accusations can
be as effective as false
domestic violence or child
sexual abuse charges in
stripping fathers of custody
of their children. In 2006,
California state Senator
Sheila Kuehl (D-Los Angeles)
sponsored SB 1402, which
eliminates the distinction
between spousal rape and
other rapes, thus allowing
for spousal rape
prosecutions six years
later, even if there was no
mention or independent
evidence of the crime in
previous years. Under SB
1402, when aggravated
spousal rape is alleged,
there would be no
statute of limitations.
I criticized the bill in
my co-authored column
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill
Will Harm Innocent Men (Sacramento
News & Review, 6/15/06).
The bill passed with ease.
To be
fair, while it can be a
nightmare for a man falsely
accused of spousal rape to
clear himself,
it is
also difficult for
a woman who really was raped
by her husband to prove it.
Recently a Northern
California police chief was
arrested on suspicion of
spousal rape. I have no idea
whether the charge is true
or not, but I was a little
skeptical of the allegations
when they first came out,
and the article below adds
to my skepticism. The police
chief claims that it is his
ex-wife, with whom he is in
conflict in a custody case,
who made the allegation that
his current wife was raped
while intoxicated or
drugged.
A related video can be
seen
here. We'll see what
happens.
Thanks to Richard, a
reader, for the article.
Gallegos sticks to his guns
regarding investigation into
Blue Lake police chief
Eureka Times-Standard 02/13/2008
Blue Lake Police Chief
David Gundersen's attorney
said Tuesday that a bitter
custody dispute is likely
the genesis of his arrest on
suspicion of spousal rape.
Arcata attorney Russell
Clanton said that
Gundersen's current wife
told him that she's not a
victim, and that she's
completely supportive of her
husband. She did not attend
the press conference and
attempts to contact her were
unsuccessful.
Clanton said that he
believes it was Gundersen's
ex-wife who alleged his
current wife was raped while
intoxicated or drugged.
Clanton said the chief
intends to plead not guilty
at his arraignment, which is
expected today, to any
charges if they are filed.
"Frankly I think the
position is that the state
has put their nose into the
bedroom of Chief Gundersen
and his current wife,"
Clanton said.
District Attorney Paul
Gallegos strongly disagreed
with Clanton's take. He said
Tuesday that he believes
Gundersen's current wife is
the alleged victim, that she
first reported the alleged
acts and that his
investigators have been in
contact with her in recent
days.
"If we don't have a
victim, it seems we wouldn't
have probable cause to issue
an arrest warrant," Gallegos
said.
Gundersen's ex-wife works
as a legal office assistant
at the Humboldt County
Sheriff's Office. The office
received the initial call
from the victim, according
to Gallegos, and then
forwarded the information
and turned the investigation
over to the district
attorney.
Gundersen's current wife
is a sergeant at the Blue
Lake Police Department and
is currently on leave. To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Divorce and Family Consultant Jayne
A. Major, Ph.D. Helps Parents all
over the United States Dr. Major, founder of Breakthrough
Parenting Services, Inc., helps dads
all over the US with Parental
Alienation Syndrome, child custody,
preparing for psychological
evaluations, dealing with
personality disorders including BPD,
parenting and family relationship
issues, and much more. Contact her
at
jaynemajor@gmail.com or (310)
823-7846. For more info., click
here. |
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Feminist Yale
Graduation Speech: 'Some of the
well-dressed fathers in the
audience have sexually abused
the women who are now
graduating'
"Anti-male
bigots have committed
countless campus
outrages—without resistance.
In Catharine A.
MacKinnon: The Rise of a
Feminist Censor,
1983-1993, Christopher M.
Final describes a scene
which might properly be
labeled modern collegiate
America's darkest hour.
According to Final, during
MacKinnon's 1989 Yale
commencement address she
said:
"'Some of the proud
mothers in the audience
[are] sitting next to men
who [have] battered them.
Some of the well-dressed
fathers [have] sexually
abused the women who [are]
now graduating.'
"The men's reaction
to this outrage should have
been an immediate and
unanimous walk out—and every
decent woman should have
been right with them.
Instead, as Final notes,
'the unfairness of
[MacKinnon's] generalization
did not diminish the
enthusiasm of her
supporters. They led the
audience in a standing
ovation for their departing
heroine.'
"And the men—most of
whom had worked long hours
for decades to support their
families and allow their
daughters to attend one of
the world's most prestigious
universities—did not resist,
instead remaining mute,
silenced and shamed."
Below is a Valentine's
Day column I wrote about
manbashing on college
campuses several years ago.
Both when I went to college
in the early 1980s and
particularly when I went to
graduate school at UCLA in
the late '90s, I was
appalled at the anti-male
bigotry. I wrote several
articles about it, and it
was quite cathartic. In
re-reading this one, I have
to say that it still
irritates me.
The Best
Valentine's Day Gift for
College Students: Gender
Reconciliation By Glenn Sacks
She Thinks
(2/13/03)
Valentine's Day, once a
happy occasion for college
students, has instead become
a day of rancor and discord
which symbolizes the divide
between men and women on
college campuses.
Much of the sour
sentiment surrounding
Valentine's Day has been
caused by Eve Ensler's
"holiday" campaign "V-Day:
Until the Violence Stops."
For years the holiday's
backers and its campus
supporters in Women's
Studies departments and
women's centers have
propagated a series of
discredited falsehoods which
stigmatize and vilify men by
wildly exaggerating the
extent of American men's
violence against women.
Dissident feminist Christian
Hoff Sommers calls these
canards "hate statistics."
Ensler's "holiday" is now
"celebrated" on over 500
college campuses, and
college newspapers are
saturated both with
misandrist (anti-male) V-Day
ads and approving news
stories and opinion columns.
Valentine's Day, which in
the past symbolized the
romantic bonds between men
and women, has been turned
into a day which further
separates them.
Bringing gender
reconciliation to our
college campuses will
require several reforms and
changes, the first and
foremost of which is the
reformation of Women's
Studies.
Women's Studies began as
a legitimate attempt to
recapture women's lost place
in "his story" as well as in
modern culture, and to
highlight the massive yet
often hidden societal
contributions of women.
However, as many dissident
feminists have noted,
feminism has been hijacked
by a bigoted minority which
has excluded moderates and
freethinkers. Women's
Studies has become, to use
Lenin's term, a
"transmission belt" carrying
misandry into the population
at large. Both by its
ability to capture media
attention and its influence
on the thinking of the 2.3
million men and women who
graduate college every year,
Women's Studies has helped
poison American culture
against men.
Rather than employing an
entire class of academics
who are paid to research,
invent, teach, and propagate
misandry, we need academic
programs that promote true
scholarship. The voices of
dissident feminists and
men's advocates, which are
currently excluded, must be
heard. These include: the
eminently sensible Cathy
Young, Camille Paglia, Wendy
McElroy, Warren Farrell, and
Sommers; as well as many
others.
Second, we need anti-misandrist
campus political
organizations dedicated to
promoting gender
reconciliation. Many
feminist groups and campus
women's centers claim, at
least in public, that "men
are welcome here, too." Some
have even changed their
names to include men, and
many now include male
victims among the female
victims in their statistics
sections.
However, the reality
behind their “welcome” is
that men are invited to join
feminist groups so they can
be taught to dislike men as
much as feminists do. Male
victims are only listed and
acknowledged if the
perpetrator of the crime is
also male, as in child
molestation or domestic
violence between gay men.
Crimes committed primarily
by women, such as child
abuse, parental murder of
children, and child
endangerment, are ignored,
as are heterosexual male
victims of domestic violence
and victims of false
accusations of rape or
abuse.
Campus groups which seek
gender reconciliation face
many challenges. For
example, the University of
New Hampshire group Stop
Hating Men, formed in
February of last year,
disbanded because it faced a
wall of feminist-generated
hostility and stood little
chance of getting
administrative approval... To read more and to discuss this issue on
my blog, click
here.
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The Men's Legal Center--Help for Men
& Fathers
The Men's Legal Center, Family Law
Advocates specializes in
representing men in Family Law Court
in San Diego. They also provide
guidance and assistance for fathers
all over California. Contact them at
619.234.3838 or by email by clicking
here. |
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Online Dating Rights
Online Dating Rights opposes the
new federal International Marriage
Broker Regulation Act, which
requires Americans who seek to meet
foreigners via the internet to have
a criminal background check and an
intrusive report about intimate
details of one's life BEFORE any
communication--the first time in US
history that such checks have been
required.
www.onlinedatingrights.com
|
Fathers
& Families News Digest, 2-19-08
Below
are some recent articles and items of interest from
Fathers & Families'
latest News Digest.
The path to an amicable divorce (Times Online, 2-13-08)
Radio station giving away free divorce
(Associated Press, 2-13-08)
Valentine's Day is a big day for divorce in the Valley (Arizona Republic,
2-13-08)
Bill to allow same-sex divorce to be introduced
(Providence Journal,
2-14-08)
"Most Wanted" billboards lead to arrests of parents not paying child support
(The Plain Dealer, 2-14-08)
Custody case: dogs in middle (Tulsa World, 2-15-08)
'After divorce I wanted to die' (The Sun, 2-15-08)
Judge: Tell Winkler about kids' trust (Jackson Sun, 2-16-08)
Officials go on deadbeat search twice a year
(Lancaster Eagle-Gazette,
2-17-08)
Fur flies over dog custody (New York
Daily News, 2-18-08)
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here, or visit the Fathers & Families
blog
here.
Fathers' Rights Legal Help If you need help with divorce, child
custody, child support, alimony and
visitation issues,
The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving,
Ltd. is one of the only law
firms in the country focused almost
exclusively on fathers' rights in
divorce. Leving did heroic work on
the Elian Gonzalez case, helping
reunite Elian with his father. He
also co-authored Illinois' Joint
Custody Law, and was named one of
"America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes
Radio. Leving is the author of
Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and
Fair Advice for Every Father
Involved in a Custody Dispute.
Call today for an initial
consultation (312) 807-3990 or visit
us on the web at
www.dadsrights.com.
|
Legal Help for Los Angeles,
Riverside Fathers If you live in Los Angeles,
Riverside or Orange counties and
you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law
firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help.
www.OddLaw.net |
How Nice--Radio
Station Giving away Free Divorce
Perhaps they could also give
away free therapy to the
kids who are harmed by
the divorce, and quite
possibly separated from
their father... Thanks to
David, a reader, for the
story.
Radio station giving away
free divorce
CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A
Charleston radio station is
observing Valentine's Day
with a reminder that Cupid
sometimes misses his mark.
WKLC-FM, better known as
Rock 105, is giving away a
free divorce.
Valentine's Day isn't all
hearts and flowers, says
WKLC Program Director Jay
Nunley. There is a darker
side, he said, "where maybe
you despise your spouse and
resent the entire day."
Through 4 p.m. on
Thursday, Valentine's Day,
applications for the free
divorce will be accepted on
the classic rock station's
Web site, http://www.wklc.com.
The winning name will be
drawn at 5 p.m.
Nunley cautions that this
is a real divorce and people
shouldn't enter if they
aren't serious. Also, people
expecting a long, drawn-out
legal battle should hire a
lawyer because the Rock 105
contest is for a relatively
uncomplicated divorce.
Charleston attorney Rusty
Webb will handle the actual
filing.
"Sure we can give away
concert tickets, and we do,"
said Nunley. "That's going
to make you happy for a
little while. This is the
chance to make someone happy
for the rest of their life." To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Help for Georgia Dads
Georgia attorney
Edwin M. Saginar has 36 years of
experience in family law and
criminal defense, including domestic
violence. He has seen many spouses
falsely accuse their significant
others of family violence, and knows
how to defend your rights.
www.edwinsaginar.com
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My Sara My Sara--How the
Adoption Assistance Agency stole
a baby girl away from her loving
family and put her up for adoption,
for a nice profit. To learn more
about this incredible story, go to
www.my-sara.com |
Mail Service
Slightly Faster than
Usual--Boston Man Receives
Postcard From 1929
Boston Man Receives Postcard
From 1929 BOSTON (AP) — The message on
the postcard to a "Miss
Margaret McDonald" was
short. Its path to the
intended address was much
longer. Nearly 79 years
after it was sent, a
postcard of Yellowstone
National Park's Tower Falls
arrived in a Boston mailbox
recently with the one-word
message, "Greetings."
Its intended recipient
had long since left the
Victorian on Sparhawk
Street, and the sender was
not identified by name.
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