Glenn Discusses Presidential Primaries on Al-Jazeera

I discussed the presidential primaries on Al-Jazeera's World News on Sunday, January 6. Like many, I think our primary system is very wasteful and inefficient, as well as  unfair to those of us who do not live in an early primary state. We don't have a complete video, but below are some of the points I made on the show. When asked about Tuesday's New Hampshire primary being "pivotal," I replied:

"In some ways it is pivotal, but I really don't think it should be pivotal. New Hampshire has 1.3 million people. In our electoral system, between Iowa and New Hampshire, by the time those two states are done voting, you've already lost a good deal of the candidates.

"They say Romney now is in trouble if he doesn't win in New Hampshire. They say Clinton is in trouble if she doesn't win in New Hampshire. We've already lost Biden. We've already lost Dodd. We may lose Richardson after New Hampshire.

"This is a country of 300 million people. Why is it that two states that only have a few million people in them are holding the rest of us hostage and are getting to decide who our next president is going to be?"

I also oppose the way important decisions about candidates' successes or failures are made based on statistical differences which are often so small that they are almost meaningless. On the show I said:

"[Part of the problem with the primary system] is that it leaves us to obsess over tiny differences. For example, watching the American news shows all weekend, I'm hearing that McCain looks like he's going to get 32 percent in New Hampshire and Romney is going to get 27 percent and that this will be a crushing thing for Romney.

"But a difference of 5% in a state like New Hampshire is probably only a few thousand votes. It really doesn't mean very much. But everybody is obsessing over these percentages in the polls amongst just a small handful of voters. I think that we lose candidates, sometimes good candidates, because they don't do well there when it's really not reflective of the country as a whole."

Some other thoughts:

During the Democratic presidential debate on Saturday evening, candidates John Edwards and Barack Obama, and to a lesser degree Hillary Clinton, kept hammering on the need for "change." There has also been an emphasis on the alleged importance of being an outsider. 

I have always found this idea to be problematic.  The mantra of "change, change, change" got so bad that at one point candidate Bill Richardson said, "There is nothing wrong with having experience," and went on to defend the simple virtue of having a long record of public service.

Despite my own disaffection with most politicians and the current political process, I feel that the "throw the bums out" mentality can be very damaging.  Similarly, I oppose term limits.

Yes, I understand the need to do something about entrenched interests in politics. But in what other profession do we say, "We don't want somebody with 20 years experience, we want somebody with no experience"? It makes no sense.  Is any engineer better for having less experience?  Is a psychologist, or a physicist, or an electrician better off having no experience?

Being a legislator is not an easy job.  It is very complex, and there are many, many issues which need to be understood.  It makes no sense to take experienced, trained people and toss them overboard simply because they are experienced and trained.

Another problem is that when we listen to electoral coverage on TV, whether it is a conservative network or a liberal network, we spend the vast majority of our time listening to analysis of who can win in what states, who can appeal to what type of voter, who is likable, who is electable, etc., etc. What we should instead be talking about is whether their ideas on how to solve problems such as healthcare, the war in Iraq, climate change, immigration, etc. will actually work.

Another problem is that the elections go on way, way too long, cost far too much money, and grind up far too much time.  There is no need for our elections to go on for two years, or even for one year.  There is nothing that the candidates need to say that they cannot say within a few months, as in many European countries.

These elections are also a terrible waste of manpower.  Think of it--during most of the primaries until this point, 5% of the United States Senate has in effect been AWOL for the past year because they have been campaigning for president.  Several governors have also been AWOL. No, this does not create a governmental crisis, but it does unnecessarily weaken both the federal government and state governments.

I also find it ridiculous that these important, highly trained people who have grave responsibilities are instead spending endless months wooing a handful of voters by hanging out at diners in Iowa or eating clam chowder--pardon me, "clam chowda"--with voters in New Hampshire.

I also found John Edwards' relentless attacks on business during the debate to be rather shortsighted. I've little doubt that some of these corporations do commit some of the abuses which Edwards alleges. However, one reality of the capitalist economic system is that big business essentially holds the country and the political system hostage, because they are the main force to create jobs. (Yes, I know many small businesses create jobs, too, and if you want to work for minimum wage, have at it.)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.

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One T-Shirt My Daughter Can Do Without--And Yours, Too

I've at times been surprised and dismayed at the way the trend towards women dressing in skimpy clothes has filtered down to young girls.

I think it's a trend our daughters can do without.

The shirt pictured is not exactly an example of that, but it fits the general trend.

Feminist writer/blogger Jill Filipovic says the shirt--"Hooters Girl (in training)"--is in a toddler size.

See Filipovic's Hooters for the kiddies.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Is This You? Researchers Are Looking for Men Who've Been Assaulted by an Intimate Partner

A note from Jan Brown, founder of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women:

"The Men's Experiences with Partner Aggression Project is a research study at Clark University and is funded by the National Institute of Mental Health. Denise A. Hines, Ph.D., Clark University Department of Psychology, is the lead researcher on this project.  She is conducting this project in conjunction with Emily M. Douglas, Ph.D., Bridgewater State College Department of Social Work, the Survey Center at the University of Southern Maine, and the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women.

"Our goal is to better understand the experiences of men who are in relationships with women who use violence. Extensive research has shown that men are at risk for sustaining partner violence in their relationships, yet few studies have investigated their experiences, and there are few resources available to such men. This is an under-recognized problem in the United States, and by conducting this research project, we hope to provide much needed information on these men, their relationships, and their needs.

"If you are a man between the ages of 18 and 59 and you have been physically assaulted at least one time in the last 12 months by a current or former intimate female partner you may be eligible to participate in this study.  If you are interested in participating, please call the DAHMW at 1-888-743-5754  or  email dahmwagency@gmail.com for information about the study and directions for participating. For more information about DAHMW visit their website: http://www.dahmw.org/."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

His Side with Glenn Sacks Radio Commentary: New Texas Law Stigmatizes Male Sexuality

My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles criticizes a new Texas law to tax strip club patrons to fund rape-crisis centers. The law is another example of how our society stigmatizes and punishes male sexuality. The tax links ordinary men to sex crimes and sex criminals, and implies that a harmless activity like attending a strip club will lead men to commit violence against women.

To listen to the commentary, click here.

To learn more, see my blog post Texas Punishes Strip Club Patrons with New Tax to Fund Rape-Crisis Centers.

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Hannah's Husband Fires Back, Calls My Advice to His Wife 'Disappointing'

In my recent blog post 'My husband reads your site and is angry at me because 'my feminism' caused all these problems for men', Hannah wrote me a letter saying that she had been a feminist while in college and that now, 18 years later, it's causing problems in her marriage. She wrote:

"My husband has begun reading your website and others and is educating himself on male discrimination. He is extremely angry at me because 'my cause' caused all these problems for men and I 'supported' it. He has been educating me on male discrimination and it is opening my eyes. I no longer wear the label 'feminist' but my personal beliefs and hopes for equality for ALL people have not changed.

"My problem is that my husband's anger is overwhelming and he refuses to acknowledge that I really can see how men are actively discriminated against. I have read a lot of your site. My question for you is, what do you think I can do to show my husband that I do see many of the problems men are facing, and that I advocate fair treatment for all people male/female/white/black/all religions, etc? Please help!!!"

I told Hannah:

"If all is as you describe it, I think your husband is being very unfair to you, and feel free to let him know that I said so."

I also said that "when you were a feminist in college in the 1980s, it was not an unreasonable thing to do" and that it is "ludicrous to hold someone such as yourself personally responsible for the excesses and problems that feminism has created." I concluded:

"I think that many of the husbands reading this blog would be grateful and thankful to have a wife such as yourself, who has made a real effort to try to understand men's and fathers' issues." My full response is here.

There were about 100 responses from readers, some of whom chastised me and sided with Hannah's husband. Hannah's husband Paul recently sent me a 2,600 word response in which he defends himself and calls my viewpoint "disturbing and disappointing." His response is below.

Paul, Hannah's Husband, Replies to My Blog Post

Happy New Year all.  May 2008 be a less discriminating time for all people, extra attention being given to men.

I will start by stating my disappointment in Glenn for his blame the victim approach to my quandary and that of men in general.  While I do agree that men certainly need to become much more aware and take a stand against the systemic implementation of legalized misandry, to state that "men, as a whole, have not done much to defend themselves" is the equivalent of stating a rape victim as deserving due to her provocative attire and not saying [no] enough or fighting back against the aggressor/rapist.  Very disturbing and disappointing viewpoint Glenn.

Glenn let me ask you; would a Jew be grateful to have a former Nazi who supported the evil regime stand next to them simply because this former Nazi now admits that "They were wrong?"  All the while this former Nazi does nothing to fix the damage that their former ignorance has inflicted on its victims?  I doubt that any Jew would be offering such gleeful appreciation of this one time Nazi.  The concept I am expecting is that of paying penance for one's sins.  If one has done wrong by someone, they must make efforts to overcome and fix the damage that they have inflicted.

Of all people Glenn, I would expect you to know that without action, words are valueless...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Venus: The Dark Side--'Some women 'remind' their children of that time when their father abused them even though he did not'

"[Dr Richard A. Warshak] recounts an experiment with a group of pre-school children who were asked to recall a time when someone called Sam Stone visited the classroom. His visit was part of the experiment. The next day the children were shown a dirty teddy bear that was not in the room when he visited. The children were asked:

"'Remember that time Sam Stone visited your classroom and spilled chocolate on that white teddy bear? Did he do it on purpose or was it an accident?' By the end of the experiment 72 per cent of the youngest children falsely accused Sam Stone of wrongdoing!"

Alienating parents can and often do plant false "memories" in the minds of impressionable young children. In Venus: The Dark Side, Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary write:

"Some women 'remind' their children of that time when their father abused them. Even though he did not. This 'reminder' is repeated so often that eventually the children believe it must have happened, even though they have absolutely no recollection of it. This is pure brainwashing.

"By the time they go to court, the children remember very clearly the abuse that never took place. It is well known that vindictive mothers coach their children to say certain things against their father during child residence battles.

"Divorce Poison, by Dr Richard A. Warshak, is a ground breaking book that catalogues the extreme measures some parents - men and women - are prepared to take to get back at ex-partners, for actual or perceived transgressions. The author details systematic campaigns of hatred and revenge intended to inflict maximum harm with little or no regard for the well-being of the children. The book offers a great deal of practical help for both partners to counter the effects of this divorce poison. A must-read for any parent caught up in child residence battles.

"In his book, Warshak recounts an experiment with a group of pre-school children who were asked to recall a time when someone called Sam Stone visited the classroom. His visit was part of the experiment. The next day the children were shown a dirty teddy bear that was not in the room when he visited. The children were asked: "Remember that time Sam Stone visited your classroom and spilled chocolate on that white teddy bear? Did he do it on purpose or was it an accident?" By the end of the experiment 72 per cent of the youngest children falsely accused Sam Stone of wrongdoing!

"When the vindictive mother of your children knows you love them, these types of actions sometimes become her most effective weapons against you. However, you have a weapon too. To help your children to question any negative things their mother tells them about you, make sure they meet and spend time with people who think well of you. These can be colleagues, family members, friends and all their children. Let them see you being liked and appreciated by others."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

(The above contains excerpts from Venus: The Dark Side, Copyright (c) Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary 2007. www.VenusTheDarkSide.com.)

Another Insult to Man Falsely Accused of Rape

Another insult to a man falsely accused of rape. And if there's a bill to be paid, how about sending it to the woman who falsely accused him?

Victim of false rape claim must pay 12,500 GBP for bed and board in jail
By SAM GREENHILL - 1st January 2008

A man wrongly jailed when a woman cried rape has failed to prevent being charged 12,500 GBP for his "board and lodging" while in prison.

Warren Blackwell, 38, spent three years in jail as a convicted sex attacker until his 'victim' was unmasked as a fantasist.

It was revealed he has been awarded 252,500 GBP compensation for his lost years - but minus the estimated cost of his food and accommodation while behind bars.

Mr Blackwell said he had failed to stop the money being siphoned off after his lawyer told him there was little to be done about it.

The father-of-two, said:

"It's the principle of the thing. They slam you in jail for three years and four months, brand you a sex attacker, leave your family to cope without you, then turn around and say sorry but demand 12,500 GBP for living expenses incurred during your time inside..."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Guess Who's the Screw-up, the Husband or the Wife?

An ad from the Fair Isaac Corp. on husband/wife credit problems. What a surprise--the wife is 2 for 2 and the husband bats .000. Yeah, it's a small thing, but the cumulative effect of advertising which portrays women as smart and men as fools isn't.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

As outlandish as it is, I'm honestly surprised they didn't pursue the dad for this child support arrearage

I am honestly surprised that they did not continue to pursue the father for the $24,000 child support arrearage. His daughter was moved out of the country against his will, he was denied a role in her life, he was charged child support, they didn't tell him about the support for 15 years, and then hit him with the arrearage--what's the problem? Certainly American child support enforcement agencies have no problem doing this, and probably wouldn't have let the guy out of his arrearage. I guess the Brits are behind in this particular area of father abuse.

Father wins 16,000 GBP case against CSA
January 03 2008
ALISON CAMPSIE

A father took on the Child Support Agency (CSA) and won by successfully challenging a 16,000 GBP demand when a computer error left him unaware of the claim for nearly 15 years.

Colin Roberts, 52, a golf professional from Abernethy in Perthshire, said the CSA left him and his second wife "stressed and frightened".
 
The bill was suddenly presented to Mr Roberts in October regarding the child maintenance of his daughter, now aged 27. She was born during his first marriage, which broke down in 1986 when his former wife left the country.
 
While the CSA was alerted that there might be a claim against him in 1993, the authority did not track down Mr Roberts to make an application for earnings - instead surprising him with a demand for the accumulated bill of 16,000 GBP last November.

Mr Roberts, who has been married to his second wife Paulette for nine years, said: "When the letter suddenly dropped through the door, we were frightened. We were expecting the officials to come to the door. Every time somebody knocked for us we thought, is this it?'.

"They way it was handled by the CSA was so cold, so unemotional. It was the first I had ever heard from them and it was treated as just a matter of course for them.

"The stress that it caused for myself and Paulette was immense. We were looking into what we could sell, looking at what meagre savings we had.

"We were so low. I said to Paulette, it is just not fair, I have to fight this'."

Mr Roberts has not seen his daughter since she was three years old, after her mother moved to Spain and he failed to win a court order to allow him to bring her up himself...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Minor Miracle--PA. Supreme Ct. Denies Deceitful Woman Child Support Bounty

From my co-authored column 'Sperm Theft' Ruling a Step Forward for Men's Reproductive Rights (Houston Chronicle, 3/6/05):

"All's fair in love, war, and paternity cases. When child support is sought, there is scarcely any deceit that courts won't push aside under the "best interests of the child" test.

"Courts have ruled that boys who were statutorily raped by older women must pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has taken the semen from a condom a man used for sex with a different woman and has inserted it in herself, the man must still pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has concealed her pregnancy (denying the man the right to be a father) and then sued for child support a decade later, the man must still pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has deceived her husband into believing that her baby is his child, he must still pay child support. Few if any men are relieved of child support obligations due to the circumstances of the pregnancy, no matter how bizarre or unjust."

A good new ruling from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. From the Associated Press' Sperm donor wins Pa. appeal to not pay child support (1/3/08):

"A woman who promised a sperm donor he would not have to pay child support cannot renege on the deal, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled (pictured).

"The 3-2 decision overturns lower court rulings under which Joel L. McKiernan had been paying up to $1,500 a month to support twin boys born in August 1994 to Ivonne V. Ferguson, his former girlfriend and co-worker...

"Ferguson and McKiernan met while working together at Pennsylvania Blue Shield in Harrisburg and had a sexual relationship that had waned before Ferguson persuaded him to donate sperm for her. Courts found that the two agreed McKiernan would not have to pay child support and would not have visitation rights, but Ferguson later changed her mind and sued. Ferguson's lawyer has disputed that the agreement existed in the first place, but courts have agreed with McKiernan on that issue.

"Between the time of the donation and when Ferguson sought support in 1999, McKiernan moved to Pittsburgh, got married and had a child.

"A county judge called Ferguson's actions despicable but said it was in the twins' best interests that McKiernan be required to support them. In addition to monthly payments, McKiernan also was ordered to come up with $66,000 in back support..."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Thanks to Judge Rufus Peckham, a reader, for the story.

Norwegian Gov. Minister Attacks Shared Parenting, Pushes Feminist Family Law Policy

Reidar Hjermann, Norway's ombudsman for children, is now pushing one of vindictive divorced or separated mothers' greatest hits--that shared parenting is bad for kids because it's "inconvenient." According to this recent Norwegian newspaper article:

"'Children need individually tailored solutions,' ombudsman Reidar Hjermann told newspaper Aftenposten on Wednesday. He thinks that splitting their time between their parents' new homes should be the exception, not the rule.

"When parents split up, Hjermann acknowledges that they have to split up everything from their shared home to the cars, TV and stereo. Their children, however, shouldn't be part of the math.

"'You can't just share children in accordance with what's right for the parents,' he said. Spending one week living with their mother and one week with their father is too stressful for many, he claims."

I agree that such arrangements are inconvenient for children, but losing your father or turning dad into a few days a month "visitor" is not just inconvenient--it's very harmful. Hjermann puts it in gender neutral terms but fortunately Labour Party politician Karita Bekkemellem (pictured), Norway's former government minister in charge of family issues, explained what the Hjermann plan really means:

"'It's most unfortunate that in 2008, the children's ombudsman doesn't equate the positions of mother and father,' she told Aftenposten. She claims that too many fathers feel short-changed, when their wives are all too often granted custody of the children.

"Without shared living arrangements, 'only one of the parents gets to have close contact with the children in everyday life,' Bekkemellem said. 'All our experience shows that it will continue to be the fathers who are discriminated against.'"

The "inconvenient" and "individually tailored solutions" arguments are frequently put forward by American feminists, including the National Organization for Women, in opposition to shared parenting. Hjermann even trots out one of the feminists' favorite straw men--that some divorced parents want their children to attend two different schools, in order to live part-time with the mother and part-time with the father. I agree that such a suggestion is ludicrous, but I very much doubt that people suggest it...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Outrageous Entrapment of Men Using Half-Naked Women in Parks

"Take heed, ye red-blooded American males. The police are operating a new sting designed to destroy your life.

"The police are planting attractive women half naked in parks. They entice passing males, engage them in conversation, lay back, spread their legs and rest their feet on the men's shoulders.

"After being as friendly and suggestive as possible, they ask to see your penis.

"Don't show it to them. You are being filmed by police. If you show your penis, you will be arrested as a pervert.

"Only American police, judges, and juries could think that responding to a seductress's invitation is proof of perversion....No, this is not a joke. It is actually happening. Last May in Berliner Park in Columbus, Ohio, Robin Garrison, a 42-year-old firefighter was lured into arrest by a half naked woman under a tree.

In reporting the story...ABC News describes the above: 'Topless Woman Lured Perverts in Police Sting.' "Get that, red-blooded American males. You are a pervert if you show your penis to a woman who is seducing you."--Paul Craig Roberts, in Criminals With Badges

This incredible ABC story, discussed by Paul Craig Roberts above, details an outrageous assault on men. "Entrapment" is putting it mildly.

I highly recommend readers watch the ABC video of the sting, which can be found here. The woman seems to be very attractive--she's certainly in shape, she's topless and very seductive. She seems to like the guy a lot, at one point putting her leg on his shoulder (as pictured), at another spreading her legs in front of him. All the time topless.

OK, I certainly agree that the guy should have said "let's take this to a hotel room" instead of whipping it out, but he's hardly a "pervert." In fact, I think it would be hard to find many heterosexual males who wouldn't be turned on by this woman. While watching her I certainly wanted a closer view.

I suppose one could argue the guy should have known better, but that's hardly a justification for charging him with a crime. It reminds me of a story my dad told me when I was a kid about Ralph Nader during the 1960s (I think). I don't recall the details, but Nader was pursuing the auto industry for its allegedly unsafe cars and one of the companies decided to hire a woman to spy on him or create other mischief. The woman was very beautiful, and ran in to Nader at a supermarket, and came on to him very strong.

Nader guessed at what was happening and declined her advances. Later someone asked Nader how he knew it was a setup. Nader replied:

"I knew because this doesn't happen to men."

One odd thing--the ABC story says "The sunbathing woman is not affiliated with the police department and she was not asked to take part in the sting operation, according to a spokesperson for the department." Was she simply a conveniently placed free-lance seductress? That seems questionable--anybody know more about it?

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Thanks to readers Tony and Jon for the story and video.

A Backhanded Admission from Virginia Police that False Rape Claims Aren't Rare

From Virginia Governor Timothy M. Kaine's new press release Governor Kaine Announces 2008 Legislative Initiatives on Domestic and Sexual Violence (1/2/08):

"The Violence Against Women Act of 2005 also prohibits law enforcement officers from asking or requiring a victim of an alleged sex offense to submit to a polygraph examination as a condition for proceeding with the investigation of such an offense...

"In 2004, the Department of Criminal Justice Services conducted a survey of sexual Assault policies of law enforcement agencies. A little over 72% of respondents indicated that they sometimes performed polygraph exams on victims of sexual assault. Only 14.6% indicated that they never asked a victim to submit to a polygraph exam.

"The Governor's proposed legislation would prohibit law enforcement officers, prosecutors, or other government officials from asking or requiring a victim of an alleged sex offense to submit to a polygraph examination, limiting the use of polygraph tests to those victims who specifically request them."

In this news article Kaine (pictured) says, "We don't do that with other crimes. Why would we do that routinely in a sexual assault?"

A few points:

1) I don't know anything about how effective polygraph tests are, and Kaine is correct in his concern for further traumatizing rape victims. On the other hand, it is interesting that police use polygraphs far more for sexual assault cases than for other crimes.

One reason is probably that these crimes are often more intimate and less likely to have witnesses. But another reason is probably that the officers, through their own experiences, have seen that false accusations of sexual assault are much more common than false accusations of other crimes. Feminists insist that false rape claims are not any more common than false claims of other crimes.

To learn more about the prevalence of false accusations of rape, see my recent column U. of Maryland right to deny protesters a forum to publicly name alleged rapists, (Baltimore Sun, 10/15/07).

2) It is interesting that VAWA prohibits police from "asking or requiring a victim of an alleged sex offense to submit to a polygraph examination as a condition for proceeding with the investigation of such an offense." For one, there's a big difference between "asking" and "requiring." I can understand feminist concern over requiring. On the other hand, their opposition to even asking is yet another example of feminists' utter lack of concern over false rape allegations.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families News Digest, 1-8-08

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families' latest News Digest.

Keeping joint custody cordial (KSFY.com, 1-4-08)

Non-custodial parent faces kidnapping charges after alleged absconding with child on Christmas (Texarkana Gazette, 1-6-08)

"I've lost three children. Losing another would destroy me," says Terry Cannings (The Daily Mail, 1-5-08)

New year is busy time for divorce lawyers (Telegraph, 1-7-08)

Survey finds men have lost their role in society (Telegraph, 1-7-08)

Sites help smooth bumps on road to Splitsville (Palm Beach Post, 1-7-08)

Egypt weighs legality of divorce by text message (USA Today, 1-3-08)

Center contributing to falling divorce rate (Springfield News-Sun, 1-4-07)

Bring families together and  keep them together (Woodtv.com, 1-4-08)

Lawyer: Delinquent child support online (Associated Press, 1-4-08)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here, or visit the Fathers & Families blog here.

A Radical Solution to Baseball's Steroid Crisis?

Jim Bouton was a pitcher for the New York Yankees during the 1960s who wrote the controversial mega-best seller Ball Four in 1970, and was instrumental in the rise of the Major League Baseball Players' Association. I've always admired Bouton (pictured with Mickey Mantle), and I interviewed him for a business magazine I was working for when I was in my early 20s.

Bouton, ever the iconoclast, has come up with a radical solution to end baseball's steroid/human growth hormone crisis. As a general rule, I sympathize with the players' union, but I think they have largely missed the boat on this issue so far.

As Bouton explains, the most important thing is not to protect the rights of players who have used steroids or are accused of it--the most important thing is to protect the players who don't use steroids or HGH, and who suffer a competitive disadvantage because of it.

In a recent Village Voice interview, Bouton says:

"They'll probably come up with some halfway measure that doesn't really do the job, or they'll come up and they'll say, 'Now you can't take human growth hormones [HGH] and you can't take steroids anymore.' But then some chemist will come up with something next month, next year, two years from now, some other performance enhancing procedure or drug.

"That's why what baseball needs to do, what all the major sports need to do, is take blood tests of these guys now and tell them they're going to save the blood tests. And if it turns out down the road that there's any performance enhancing drugs that currently exist or are created in the future you're going to be responsible for having taken those drugs, even though we have no rules against them. Otherwise this is just a race against the chemists, who are going to come up with masking devices. But if you've got the blood and you're holding on to it, that's going to serve as the baseline for future tests."

The full interview is Interview: Jim Bouton on the Mitchell Report (Village Voice, 12/14/07).

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Advice Goddess Amy Alkon--Guess What! Men Won't Like You If You're An Insufferable Bitch

"Some girl named Tanya Gold wrote a nasty essay in The Guardian about her experience with speed-dating. In between loving on herself for her clever little bits of man-hating prose, she complains, 'Men want us lobotomized.'

"I disagree...What Tanya is missing entirely is what men don't want more than anything: a woman who's a stuck-up, uptight, humorless, workaholic, pretentious, no-fun fight-picker, as Tanya must've come off during her speed-dating sessions."

Syndicated columnist Amy Alkon (aka "The Advice Goddess") often emails me amazing stories, and this one is no exception:

Guess What! Men Won't Like You If You're An Insufferable Bitch

Advice Goddess Blog/Amy Alkon

Some girl named Tanya Gold wrote a nasty essay in The Guardian about her experience with speed-dating. In between loving on herself for her clever little bits of man-hating prose, she complains, "Men want us lobotomized."

I disagree.

Okay, some men, even many men, don't want ultra-brainy girls, or women with big jobs. Okay, so if you're an ultra-brainy girl or a woman with a big job...don't date those guys!

I'm reminded of my lone visit to a shrink when I was in my 30's and having little luck finding a guy I wanted to go on more than one date with. The shrink said, best as I can recall, "You have high standards, you understand and accept the consequences of those high standards, this is healthy, I have nothing else I can say to you, don't come back."

What Tanya is missing entirely is what men don't want more than anything: a woman who's a stuck-up, uptight, humorless, workaholic, pretentious, no-fun fight-picker, as Tanya must've come off during her speed-dating sessions.

Here's her account of what went down:

I decided to attend a speed-dating night as a fabulously successful, dazzlingly literate human rights lawyer, and then another as a gibbering idiot who works as a florist. Who would the men fall for?

As a lawyer, I walked into a Soho bar. My first date appeared. I smiled at him, and said: "I am a human rights lawyer (grin)."

"I work 60 hours a week (grin)."

And watched him shrivel up.

"I'm an engineer," he said (no grin). And then he was silent, so I told him I was reading Heidegger. He stared at me as if I had told him that I boil men's heads.

Then came Eric, and I invented a PhD in economics from Cambridge. "It was incredibly rewarding. Are you interested in economics, Eric?"

He wasn't; he slunk off, and was replaced by Tony. I told him I have two cats and he looked hopeful.

"What are they called?" "Roe and Wade, after the United States Supreme court case that resulted in the legalization of abortion." No smile after that, just a chair where a man had been.

I fought about the Arab-Israeli conflict with No 11, and about shoes with No 13. "My shoes are leather," he said, "but they have holes in them."

"Don't buy leather shoes," I replied, refusing to pout, while he looked at me as if I'd shot him.

And this, from No 18: "You really scare me."

Word had spread about the monster on Table 17 - my final date didn't show.

The florist, who I modelled on Melinda Messenger (image via Amy) spliced with a teasmaid, went to a "lock and key" party. Alan approached. "Hello," he smiled.

"I'm confused by the game," I told him. "Please explain it."

And he did. Happily.

"What do you do," I asked (giggle).

"I am a geneticist," he said.

"What is that," I asked (giggle).

He told me, and I looked impressed and uncomprehending. I raised my voice an octave, until it was a squeak. I stared at the floor, twisted my hands, and gibbered at him. "I cut the thorns off roses," I said. "I tie bows. I sweep floors." He replied: "I'll email you." I bagged one with my florist net! Then came Robert. "I'm a florist," I smiled. The reaction was instantaneous, passionate and almost molecular: "Can I buy you a drink?"

Then came Harry. "Let's not talk about me," I said. Bang - he asked me out. Just like that. On the spot.

I never knew it could be like this. Tom suggested we sit down. "Where do you want to sit," I asked. "In a chair? Is that a chair (giggle)?" By the end of our conversation I was opening my own florist's. And he was in love. I went on and on, loving the strange, new attention, saying the sort of things a fish would say if it could talk: "Why is water wet?"

I could have been engaged by 11.17pm. But instead I went home and sifted through the evidence. Only one in 20 of the men I met on the Soho love coalface wanted to date a woman who had heard of Proust (19 of out 20 cats don't prefer it). Yet eight out of the florist's 12 men wanted to be gibbered at again and again and again...

After 40 years of feminism we shouldn't really burn our bras. We should burn our men...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Hmm...I Thought They Were K-Fed's Kids, Too

The new Associated Press story about the latest Britney Spears train wreck/meltdown bears the headline Court awards Spears' kids to K-Fed. Funny, I thought "Spears' kids" had two parents.

Court awards Spears' kids to K-Fed
January 3, 2008
Associated Press
 
LOS ANGELES - A court commissioner gave sole physical and legal custody of Britney Spears' two little boys Friday to ex-husband Kevin Federline and suspended the troubled pop star's visitation rights.

Spears was hauled away from her home to a hospital by paramedics a day before, after police had to intervene when she refused to return the children to Federline after a court-monitored visit.

Commissioner Scott Gordon ordered another hearing to be held Jan. 14.

Federline had previously been awarded temporary custody of 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James because Spears has defied court orders, resulting in limitations on her visitation...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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A Sad Milestone

We live on a one acre lot, part of which used to be used for horses, so when my nine-year-old daughter is playing outside and I want to check on her, it can be a little time-consuming. For years and years we've had a shouted, long-distance dialogue that always goes exactly like this:

Me: Sweetheart?

My daughter: Yes?

Me: Love you.

My daughter: Love you

For the past few weeks, however, the last line of that four line exchange has been missing. Sometimes I spend an extra few moments waiting for it. Now I've started to give up and not wait. Instead I walk away telling myself, "Come on, you knew she had to outgrow that, you knew it, you knew it..."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.