Behind the Virginia/Vermont lesbian child custody battle is a sad but delicious irony. According to details of the case provided in this article in the Washington Blade, a prominent gay newspaper, Miller's actions read like a checklist of what heterosexual women do to the fathers of their children:

1) Move the child far away from the child's noncustodial parent after the divorce or separation--check.

2) Deny the noncustodial parent the opportunity to visit or co-parent the child--check.

3) Make an unsupported, dubious and oh-so-convenient accusation of abuse against the noncustodial parent--check.

4) Pretend that the noncustodial parent is out-of-line or acting against the child's best interests by wanting to continue the relationship with the child--check.

Other familiar highlights include: the relationship was ended by the child's birth mother, just as most marriages are ended by mothers, not fathers; and the relationship soured because--guess what--the birth mother was hormonal and unstable during and after her pregnancy.

Like most divorced dads, Janet Jenkins soft-pedals her ex-partner Lisa Miller's appalling behavior, trying to avoid conflict in the interests of their young child Isabella. She says that if she does win custody (which she should), she will be very careful to make sure that her former partner's relationship with her daughter is protected and respected.

Echoing the words of millions of divorced fathers, Jenkins says:

"I would rather not be going to court. I had no idea anything like this would happen."

She adds:

"I would never abandon Isabella. She has no power over this situation and didn't choose it. It is time to behave like adults and do what is best for her. It's only been about Isabella. I miss her and have high hopes we will be together soon."

As I wrote in the column, "ladies, welcome to the club."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The Massachusetts case we mentioned in our column, A.H. v. M.P., was the subject of some fine intervention by Fathers & Families of Massachusetts earlier this year.  According to Fathers & Families:

"Fathers & Families submitted an amicus brief in the case, which was argued before the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court (SJC). The brief, principally authored by Dr. Ned Holstein, argued that, contrary to some court decisions and legal authorities, being a breadwinner is a crucial family function that should be considered just as important as direct caretaking of children when courts make custody decisions. (Of course, it is also necessary that the principal wage earner develop a bond with the child!) The brief also argues that custody should not be decided by rigidly counting up the hours of who does the most diaper-changing, meal-cooking, etc. Instead, custody should usually be shared because children bond equally strongly to both parents, even when one is out of the home earning a living for long hours every day."

To learn more, see F&F Stands Up for Children, Breadwinners. To read their brief in the case--a very worthwhile read--click here.

'It's always men's fault, part 5,367,277,987,903:

In the new TIME Magazine article So, Who's Your Daddy? feminist law professor Theresa Glennon of Temple University says that paternity fraud cases "get cast as the duped dad vs. the scheming wife. This is really about men deserting children they have been parenting."

Cheat on a man, get pregnant by another guy, lie to the man and tell him the kids are his, lie to your own children about who their father is, and--guess what--it's all the guy's fault.

At least the TIME article has a couple good quotes from paternity fraud crusader Carnell Smith. TIME writes that "Smith [is] a Georgia engineer who found out shortly after he broke up with his girlfriend that she was pregnant and spent the next 11 years believing he was the girl's father. Then, in 2000, after his visitation time had been cut back around the same time that a court order nearly doubled his monthly child-support payments, he took a test that showed he was not the biological parent. Three years and about $100,000 in child support and legal fees later, Smith, 46, managed to disentangle himself from any responsibilities for the girl, and says he walked out of court "a broke but free man." He successfully lobbied his home state to pass its paternity-fraud law in 2002 and now runs a DNA-testing company. Its slogan: "If the genes don't fit, you must acquit!"

Read the full TIME article here. Jane Spies of the National Family Justice Association has also worked with Smith and does good work on this issue.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

In a recent exchange with one of my readers, prominent feminist domestic violence advocate Evan Stark called me a "notorious right-wing nut case whose lies or half truths about family matters are legion."

I'll refrain from commenting on whether I'm "notorious," a "nut case," or if my work is widely disseminated enough that my "lies" are "legion." However, I will say that I don't consider myself "right-wing."

Stark, the Chairman of the Department of Urban Health Administration of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey's School of Public Health, was reacting to my co-authored column Domestic Violence Lawsuit Will Help Secure Services for All Abuse Victims (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 12/28/05), which my reader had apparently sent him during an email exchange. I thought it was one of my better columns, but apparently Evan doesn't agree.

Stark apparently has played a significant role in disseminating anti-male disinformation on domestic violence. You've probably heard the widely-quoted myth that "Domestic Violence is the Leading Cause of Injury to Women Between the Ages of 15 and 44 in the United States - More Than Car Accidents, Muggings, and Rapes Combined." This has been debunked many times. In my column Domestic Violence Series Substitutes Emotion for Facts (San Francisco Chronicle, 4/8/05), I explained: (Read more)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

My new co-authored column, "Family Abduction Prevention Act Fails to Address Causes of Parental Kidnapping," was recently published in The Hill, Capitol Hill's newspaper.

In the column Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and I criticized the FAPA, which was sponsored by California Senator Diane Feinstein and Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. It passed the Senate by unanimous consent. We wrote:

"Feinstein and Hutchison portray FAPA as a protection against abducting noncustodial fathers. However, according to the US Department of Justice, mothers and fathers abduct their children in equal numbers...According to the US Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice, children in sole custody settings are at a far greater risk of being abducted by a parent than children in joint physical custody settings. The driving force behind parental abductions is the win-lose child custody system.
 
"Under this system, when a couple divorces or separates, one and only one parent is awarded true custody of the child, and many noncustodial parents are allowed little or no role in their children's lives...This sets up a situation where disenfranchised parents may go outside the law to regain their relationships with their children.

"This is not to say that parental abductions are justified or are in children's best interests--they rarely are. And in some cases parents have lost custody because they are unfit. Yet current divorce policies set up incentives to abduct."

Read the full column here.     

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

I discussed the Jason Kidd case and my co-authored column Simpson Case Led to Harmful Domestic Violence Policies (Riverside Press-Enterprise, 12/5/06) on the Maria Sanchez Morning Show on KKZZ AM 1590 in Ventura, CA on January 16th. The audio of the interview is available, though it's a little spotty at times. To listen, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

My latest co-authored column on domestic violence New DOJ Domestic Violence Study Undercounts Male Victims (Baltimore Sun, 1/12/07) also appeared recently in the Sacramento Bee (Invisible domestic violence victims), the Salt Lake Tribune (The invisible victims of domestic violence) and others. If you have a comment on the piece, you can write Letters to the Editor at letters@sacbee.com and letters@sltrib.com.

A couple weeks ago I criticized a 67 year-old Spanish woman for having kids--twins, no less--at age 67. (See The Very Definition of Selfishness and Asininity...). To be fair, I must also now criticize a man who apparently is planning to do somewhat the same thing--Hugh Hefner.

According to the article Playboy Hef ready to be a dad?, "The wealthy 80-year-old says he's considering giving one of his three live-in girlfriends, 26-year-old Holly Madison, the baby she desperately wants."

I called the Spanish mom "selfish and asinine," and both words very much apply to Hefner. Holly isn't much better. My biggest objection to what the 67 year-old woman did--the risk of birth defects to the baby--isn't nearly as much of a factor here, but my other criticisms still apply.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Mixed Emotions on New California Bill to Ban Spanking

A few thoughts:

1) I don't believe in and do not practice physical discipline of my kids

2) The bill represents another state intrusion on the family and parenting rights, which is already a problem.

3) As with any government policy related to the family, there is the definite possibility of anti-male bias in the law's application. Bystanders, police officers, judges and juries may well see a mother who spanks as a poor, overburdened woman trying to control her out-of-control kids, while viewing a father who spanks as abusive.

Lenin said "Only weak governments need strong measures." I think it is often true that only weak parents--or parents who've been temporarily placed in a position of weakness--need "strong measures" like spanking or other forms of physical discipline. (Read more)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

California Senator Barbara Boxer isn't exactly my cup of tea--she is (or at least during the 1990s was) a man-bashing feminist. Many years ago I criticized a particularly asinine, anti-father bill of hers in my co-authored column The 'Deadbeat Dad' Canard (Sacramento Bee, 8/1/02).

Nevertheless, despite what my misguided feminist critics say, I do try to be fair, and I think Barbara is getting a bum rap on the Condoleezza Rice flap. For example, the Independent Women's Forum, with whom I usually (though not always) agree, put out the following press release: (Read the rest here)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

"My toughest fight was my first wife."-- Former World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali

When I was discussing the Jason Kidd case and male victims of domestic violence on Sister Speak on WDBZ AM 1260 in Cincinnati the other day, I had emphasized that domestic violence is a lot more than a man and a woman fighting in a kitchen-turned-boxing ring, and that female abusers often use the element of surprise to balance the scales. One of the co-hosts then mentioned the case of singer Al Green. I always liked Green's music but hadn't heard the story, so we looked it up. According to VH1:

"At the height of his popularity, Green's former girlfriend, Mrs. Mary Woodson, broke into his Memphis home in October 1974 and poured boiling grits on the singer as he was bathing, inflicting second-degree burns on his back, stomach and arm...Green interpreted the violent incident as a sign from God that he should enter the ministry."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

I highly recommend addiction expert Doug Thorburn's Addiction Report. His most recent issue has an interesting commentary on alcoholic prosecutorial abuse, Mike Nifong and the Duke rape case. Thorburn writes:

"North Carolina District Attorney Mike Nifong, charged with ethics violations by the North Carolina bar for making misleading and inflammatory statements to the media about the Duke lacrosse athletes under suspicion of sexual assault of a stripper (reported in the top story of the Thorburn Addiction Report, April-May 2006). Nifong was behind in his reelection campaign until he brought rape charges against three members of the Duke University lacrosse team.

"As columnist, social commentator and economist Thomas Sowell writes, '...this case was the salvation of his career, by enabling him to win the black vote with inflammatory charges against white students accused of raping a black woman...'

"Nifong dropped the rape charges after the head of a DNA lab testified that while the lab found DNA from other men on the stripper, none was from the Duke students--and Nifong, who knew this months ago, failed to disclose this to the defense. Nifong is forging on with charges of kidnapping, which would keep the focus off Nifong, who as Sowell points out could then claim 'he had some basis to prosecute in this case' by persuading the students to plea bargain down to minor penalties.

"The extraordinary accusations, which may prove to be a disgusting instance of alcoholic prosecutorial abuse, is reminiscent of the infamous 1912 case recounted by author James Graham in which the alcoholic New York City District Attorney Charles Whitman had police lieutenant Charles Becker executed for a crime he did not commit. As I said in Drunks, Drugs & Debits, 'Once an addict achieves a position of power, he is out of control and cannot help himself.' Therefore, the behavior itself is an excellent indicator of alcoholism."

I imagine that Thorburn would probably include witch-hunting 1950s Senator Joe McCarthy--also an alcoholic--with his list of addicts who achieve a position of power and then are out of control.

Thorburn's full E-Newsletter can be read here. I recommend signing up here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for Georgia Dads
Georgia attorney Edwin M. Saginar has 36 years of experience in family law and criminal defense, including domestic violence. He has seen many spouses falsely accuse their significant others of family violence, and knows how to defend your rights. www.edwinsaginar.com.

Retired basketball superstar Michael Jordan and his wife of 17 years recently announced their divorce in a statement issued by their lawyers. Michael and Juanita have three teenage children. Reportedly the divorce is amicable, and the two were recently pictured together attending their two sons' high school basketball game.

As some of you may recall, in 2002 Juanita filed divorce papers on Michael, citing his decision to return to playing basketball as her reason. Michael was able to talk her out of it. I don't doubt that Juanita had some legitimate grievances, particularly Jordan's...um, "alleged" infidelities. However, I also thought that divorcing Michael because he had returned to his career was rather unfair, as was much of the widespread criticism of Jordan.

I wrote a newspaper column about it at the time called Jordan vs. Jordan: In Defense of Michael Jordan (Santa Clarita Signal, 2/1/02) in which I switched the genders and wondered how people would react if a husband decided to divorce his wife because she returned to her career. I wrote: (Read more...)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

A couple months ago I co-authored a column in the Detroit News about a bizarre Michigan bill which would have made it a crime for a man to "change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement" with a pregnant significant other, to "file or attempt to file for a divorce" from his pregnant wife, or to "withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support" from a woman who he has been supporting, if it is determined that the man is doing these things to try to pressure the woman to terminate her pregnancy.

Apparently Michigan legislators aren't very familiar with the U.S. constitution, because the bill actually passed the Michigan House by a 67-38 vote. Mercifully it died in committee in the Senate. To learn more, see my column Coercive Abortion Prevention Act Assumes Male Guilt, Opens Door to Unfair Prosecutions (Detroit News, 11/30/06).

Now comes a new oddity out of Michigan. According to Adultery could mean life, court finds (Detroit Free Press, 1/15/07), "Michigan's second-highest court says that anyone involved in an extramarital fling can be prosecuted for first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony punishable by up to life in prison." Read the full article here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. www.Lady4Justice.com

The LaMusga Company
The LaMusga Company provides customized solutions to assist individuals and business owners in reaching their financial goals. The LaMusga Company is committed to helping you accomplish your long-term financial objectives. LaMusgaCo.com

File Taxes Online with  Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your taxes, check your refund status, and have your return reviewed by an experienced tax professional--all online.

Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange counties and you're facing a divorce, separation, or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. www.OddLaw.net

How Does Sex Discrimination Affect Men and Boys?
The National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles is a non-profit educational & civil rights organization that looks at the ways sex discrimination affects men and boys. NCFM-LA helps provide men a unified voice on important political and social issues. www.NCFMLA.org