Newsweek Quotes Glenn on 'Single Mothers
by Choice'
 Newsweek
magazine writer Lorraine Ali quotes from my co-authored
column
Rise in Out-of-Wedlock Births Is Bad News for America's
Kids (Washington Times, 12/4/06) in
her new piece
Knocking Yourself Up--Some women laugh about turkey
basters replacing Mr. Right. The ongoing debate
over going it alone (Newsweek, 11/5/07).
The piece centers
around Louise Sloan, author of the new guidebook
Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming
a Single Mom. Sloan now has a fatherless
16-month-old son.
As you could guess, the piece favors women who
decide to have fatherless children--the only named
opposition to the practice in the piece is my short
quote. Ali also quotes Rosanna Hertz, author of
Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice. Hertz
and Peggy Drexler,
author of
Raising Boys Without Men:
How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation
of Exceptional Men,
are the leading feminist gurus of voluntary single
motherhood.
[To read my previous
critique of Hertz and her book, see my co-authored
column
Are Single Mothers the 'New American Family?'
(World Net Daily, 9/28/06).
To see my previous critique of Drexler and her book,
see my column
Raising Boys
Without Men: Lesbian Parents Good, Dads Bad
(World Net Daily,
9/10/05)]
Obviously I disagree with much of what Ali (and
Hertz and Drexler) have written, but I'll limit
myself to just two:
1) Ali tries to denigrate the importance of fathers
in children's lives by downplaying the numerous
studies which show the vast differences in child
well-being between single mother and two-parent
households. She is correct that this difference
is narrower when looking only at highly-educated,
economically-secure mothers. However, the difference
is still there.
2) Not all "well-being" can be measured by social
scientists. Are there any adults who really believe
that it won't matter to Sloan's 16-month-old boy
that he doesn't have a father?
Ali's article is below.
Knocking Yourself Up--Some women laugh about turkey
basters replacing Mr. Right. The ongoing debate
over going it alone
By Lorraine Ali
Newsweek, 11/5/07
Sex And The City's" Carrie Bradshaw once asked,
"What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would
Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever?
Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out
the apple, gotten a job, a health-care package and
a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank?"
Though it's hard to say how Disney would have grappled
with a no-show prince, if Ms. White were to awaken
alone today, it's possible she'd take the advice
of Louise Sloan, author of the guidebook "Knock
Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single
Mom."
Sloan found herself single at 41, though she'd
always considered herself "definitely the marrying
kind." Determined to become a mother, the Brooklyn-based
writer inseminated herself with sperm from an unknown
donor she refers to as No. 2, "a tall, handsome
green-eyed actor (Favorite color: blue. Favorite
pet: dogs)" in the attic of her conservative family's
Kennebunkport, Maine, summer house. Sloan now has
a 16-month-old son, and uses her experience--as
well as those of almost 50 more unpartnered, educated
and financially independent straight and gay females
over 30--to propel her humorous "how to" book for
aspiring single moms. She offers practical advice
on choosing the right donor and informing prospective
grandparents in chapters titled "Oops, I Forgot
to Have a Baby" and "Trysts With the Turkey Baster"...
To read more and to discuss this issue on my
blog, click
here.
 |
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Fathers and Children
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all parties affected by
divorce. Contact the ACFC
at 1-800-978-3237 or visit
them on the web at
www.acfc.org. |
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In Defense of Judge James Michael Shull (Part II)
 Background:
Conscientious Virginia judge James Michael Shull,
who smoked out a woman who sought to extend a restraining
order based on false charges of domestic violence,
was just removed from the bench by
this Virginia Supreme Court ruling.
To learn more about the case, see my blog
post
In
Defense of Judge James Michael Shull (Part I)
or read my co-authored newspaper column defending
Shull
here.
Both the Virginia Supreme Court's opinion and
the widely-disseminated
Associated Press article by Larry O'Dell ignore
the most important facts in this case and criticize
Shull for the "coin toss" incident. According to
the AP:
"According to the court, Shull admitted tossing
a coin to determine which parent would have visitation
with a child on Christmas. Shull said he was trying
to encourage the parents to decide the issue themselves
but later acknowledged that he was wrong."
What happened was this--a mother and father had
shared physical custody of their children, and could
not agree as to who would have them on Christmas
Day. Shull urged them to come to an agreement themselves,
but they were unable to. Normally at this point
(or actually, long before it) the judge would've
just decided to give the kids to mom for Christmas,
but Shull told both parents that he considered both
of them to be good, loving parents and that he did
not want to have to choose between them.
When they were unable to decide, he decided to
toss a coin to make the decision, sending a clear
message that the court was not going to favor one
parent over the other. I applaud Shull for this,
yet, amazingly, this non-event is one of the major
charges against him.
Also, according to Shull, the coin toss was not
objected to by either of the two parties, both of
whom were represented by attorneys. Shull determined
who got the 1st week of Xmas vacation the first
year, with vacation to be alternated thereafter.
The
AP by O'Dell also says the Virginia Supreme
Court's decision was "unanimous," which sounds impressive
but is factually questionable. According to Shull:
"It is hard to say the opinion was 'unanimous.'
The opinion was authored by Justice Keenan, but
no one else signed on to it. It does not have any
dissents, but in cases of this type, they sometimes
do opinions in this manner to mask their differences
because it's more politic."
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
 |
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FALSELY ACCUSED
IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA?
If you've been
falsely accused of domestic
violence, sexual abuse,
child molestation, or other
crimes of a sexual nature,
contact
The Law Offices of Douglas
R. Slain. Slain is a
specialist who has worked
for over 30 years to defend
falsely accused men and
fathers. To learn
more, click
here,
or call 800-438-6820. |
|
|
Single
Mother by Choice Guru, Glenn Clash in UK Guardian
 Background:
Newsweek magazine writer Lorraine Ali quoted from
my co-authored column
Rise in Out-of-Wedlock Births Is Bad News for America's
Kids (Washington Times, 12/4/06) in her recent
piece
Knocking Yourself Up--Some women laugh about turkey
basters replacing Mr. Right. The ongoing debate
over going it alone (Newsweek, 11/5/07). The
piece centers around Louise Sloan, author of the
new guidebook
Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming
a Single Mom. Sloan now has a fatherless 16-month-old
son. The piece favors women who decide to have fatherless
children. To learn more, click
here.
The liberal British UK Guardian, one of
the world's premier newspapers, has a new piece
out extolling the virtues of single motherhood by
choice--There's
no shame in going solo, says mum: Career women with
eyes on their biological clocks now have a 'how
to' guide to single parenting, but the topic is
provoking a backlash in America (UK Guardian,
Observer, 11/4/07). The article focuses
on choice mom guru Louise Sloan. Needless to say,
the article sympathizes with Sloan, and holds me
up as an example of the "vehement" backlash against
single mothers by choice.
The article says that Sloan is "shocked by the
vehemence of the backlash" against her. She says:
"I think that if you have reservations or shame
about having become a single mother and having chosen
to be an alternative family in that way, that shame
is going to be transmitted to the people you speak
to about it. And it's also going to come through
to your child...I think that it's really important
to make sure that your child feels that the way
he or she came into this world was a positive and
happy thing. And so you need to have that attitude
yourself. Also, in speaking about it to other people,
if you present it as a weird, questionable thing,
you're more likely to get a negative response."
The Guardian counterposes this with
my comment:
"To openly advocate single motherhood as a lifestyle
choice is to fail to understand how powerfully children
hunger for their fathers and the immense benefits
reaped by the children who do have fathers in their
lives. This misunderstanding is very destructive.
At the core of this work is a 'you go, girl' belief
that mothers can do it alone and always know best.
Unfortunately, many women are choosing this lifestyle
and it's our children who are suffering for it."
The article also has a disturbing statistic near
the bottom--one in seven birth certificates in England
and Wales in 2006 had no father listed.
Sloan has now joined Rosanna Hertz, author of
Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice, and
Peggy Drexler, author of
Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are
Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men,
to form a troika of feminist gurus advocating
voluntary single motherhood. To read my previous
critique of Hertz and her book, see my co-authored
column
Are Single Mothers the 'New American Family?'
(World Net Daily, 9/28/06). To see my previous
critique of Drexler and her book, see my columns
Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers?
(San Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05) and
Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian
Parents Good, Dads Bad (World Net
Daily, 9/10/05).
To read more and to discuss this issue on my
blog, click
here.
In Defense of Judge James Michael Shull (Part III)
 Background:
Conscientious Virginia judge James Michael Shull,
who smoked out a woman who sought to extend a restraining
order based on false charges of domestic violence,
was just removed from the bench by
this Virginia Supreme Court ruling.
To learn more about the case, see my blog
posts
In
Defense of Judge James Michael Shull (Part I)
and
In Defense of Judge James Michael Shull (Part II),
or read my co-authored newspaper column defending
Shull
here.
The Virginia Supreme Court's opinion criticizes
Shull for "making an improper ex parte
telephone call during a recess in the custody hearing
to obtain information on a disputed factual matter"
and that this "ex parte communication serves
to illustrate again Judge Shull's lack of concern
for litigants appearing before him."
Nothing could be further form the truth--Shull
made the phone call out of concern for
the litigants before him, principally the two young
children whose placement he had to decide. Shull
had to give the children either to the husband,
who the wife claimed stabbed her, or the wife, who
the husband claimed was a mentally-disturbed cutter.
In the case, Tammy G. claimed that her husband
had stabbed her and that she went to a local emergency
room for treatment. Shull's violation consisted
of--brace yourself--calling the local hospital to
confirm that Tammy G. had been admitted. Once again,
Shull is in trouble for examining the facts in the
case before him--he made the call as part of his
duty to protect the G. children.
Shull also says that he informed everyone in
the courtroom that he planned to do call before
he made the call.
It is true that the Virginia Canons of Judicial
Conduct states:
"A judge shall not initiate, permit, or consider
ex parte communications, or consider other
communications made to the judge outside the presence
of the parties concerning a pending or impending
proceeding."
Shull says, "It is not uncommon for judges in
the juvenile and domestic relations court to place
telephone calls to ascertain the truth when resolving
a factual dispute."
The Virginia Lawyers Weekly article
JIRC: Censure or remove J&DR judge (5/28/07)
contains an interesting tidbit about this issue.
The lead judge in the court where Shull heard this
case, Elizabeth S. Wills, "testified that she very
seldom makes such calls."
"Seldom?" So Wills, who is Shull's boss and who
is largely responsible for him being railroaded,
admits to the Judicial Commission that she too
has made the same kind of phone calls--the
type of calls which Shull is in trouble for doing
once and only once.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
 |
HELP FOR
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
FATHERS
If you're
a father in Northern
California who's
going through a
divorce or its aftermath
and need legal help,
contact
The Law Offices
of Douglas R. Slain.
Slain, a graduate
of Stanford Law
School, has over
30 years of experience
in family law and
criminal defense.
He can help you
protect your relationship
with your kids and
your finances.
To learn
more, click
here,
or call 800-438-6820. |
Jeff Leving's New
Book--Divorce
Wars
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ex-spouse.
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Help, Resources
for Dads
The
National Fathers'
Resource Center
is a division of
Fathers For Equal
Rights, Inc.
(FER), located in
Dallas, Texas, with
offices in both
Dallas and Houston.
In existence for
over three decades,
it has services
and resources for
dads nationwide
and is one of the
largest and most
active fathers'
rights organizations
in the U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
|
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Feminist Writer Ann Friedman Has a Point
 Feminist
writer
Ann Friedman, editor of the leading feminist
blog
www.feministing.com, has a point in her recent
blog post
"'Your Women Are Ugly!' is not a political argument."
Friedman's blog post is a little overwrought, but
she's right that comparisons such as that pictured
are sexist.
I would also add that they're usually rigged,
as in the poster (pictured) which she cites. Obviously
anybody could find a group of attractive pictures
of conservative women and unattractive pictures
of liberal women--you could do the opposite just
as easily.
It's also rigged because some of the pictures
of the liberal women were chosen specifically because
they make the person look bad. Susan Estrich is
an attractive woman, but they picture her here at
her absolute worst, as they do with Hillary Clinton.
But it's not the sexism of such arguments that
bothers me as much as that they remind me of the
way some kids taunt and humiliate each other on
the schoolyard. I never wanted to participate in
that cruelty as a child, and I've got no interest
in participating in it as an adult.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
From 'Diary of a Patient Man'--What Happens When
a Male Victim of Domestic Violence Calls 911
 I've
often discussed the inequities against men in the
domestic violence system.
William Stoneking, a male victim of domestic
violence, has experienced them. His book
The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father's Struggle
describes his fight to navigate through the
DV and family law system to protect his relationship
with his son.
In the excerpt below, Stoneking describes what
happens when his former wife, who we will call "Susan,"
was physically attacking him and the police arrived.
While Stoneking was not seriously injured by his
wife's attacks, I find it hard to believe that the
police would have treated the case the same way
were the genders reversed.
Excerpted from
The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father's
Struggle
By
William Stoneking
[After I questioned her on where our money was
being spent] she attacked me, hitting my back, smacking
the back of my head and trying to rip my arms off.
Someone obviously had something to hide. She knocked
me down on the bed and then onto the floor. I grabbed
the phone and called 911...She had left some really
nice marks on my arms and I was going to press charges
of domestic battery. She hadn't changed her abusive
behavior and the only way she'd change was to be
arrested. I talked to the 911 operator and told
her what was going on and that Susan was going ballistic.
I went downstairs to the front door with the
cordless phone while I was talking to the dispatcher
and the dispatcher told me that help would be on
the way...
Two Kansas City squad cars arrived at my residence
and I told them what was going on. I told them I
wanted to press charges for domestic battery and
they looked at the marks on my arm and told me that
was 'incidental contact.' I was floored...The officers
went and talked to her and she had no marks on her.
They asked for my license and within a few minutes
I was being placed under arrest...
To read more of this excerpt and to discuss this
issue on my blog, click
here.
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|
Families Against Confiscatory Child
Support (FACCS)
FACCS is the national voice for
fair and reasonable child support.
FACCS believes all parents have
an obligation to support their children
financially. However, in high income
cases, state and federal laws often
result in excessive awards that
are effectively alimony in disguise
and have little to do with supporting
children. Huge child support awards
lead to protracted custody disputes,
undermines co-parenting, and leaves
children worse off financially.
www.faccsonline.org /
contact@faccsonline.org
|
|
Only Female Professional Baseball Umpire Released
 Some
of you may recall my blog post
Will
the First Woman Major League Umpire Improve Baseball?
about female umpire Ria Cortesio (pictured), in
which I speculated that a female umpire might help
cut down on some of the asinine umpire blaming and
baiting that goes on in baseball. My theory is that
since the vast majority of men are gentlemen (though
feminists will never admit it), a female umpire
will be treated with far more courtesy than a male
umpire.
Having watched some of the baseball playoffs
with my father this year and witnessed several hitters
deciding not to swing at borderline pitches with
two strikes on them and then having the goddamned
gall to blame the umpires for their strikeouts doesn't
do anything to change my mind.
Anyway, unfortunately Cortesio was released recently,
after receiving low ratings by minor league supervisors.
According to the article
She's out! Ria Cortesio, only female umpire in pro
baseball, released (The Canadian Press,
10/31/07), "There are about 300 umpires in the majors
and affiliated minors. Several minor league umps
get released each off-season, with baseball trying
to make a decision on their futures within a few
years." The full article on her departure is
here. My previous writings about her are below.
"Will the First Woman Major League Umpire
Improve Baseball?"
It sounds like a typical mainstream media headline,
right? The one what will tell you that women entering
(name whichever profession) will improve it because
women are better at (whatever job) than men because
they're more (fill in adjectives and superlatives).
This time, however, you'd be wrong.
I'm the one who's actually
saying that a woman umpire might improve baseball.
Not because she'd be any better than the male umpires,
because she wouldn't, although I'm sure we'll hear
plenty of stories that she is. I think she might
improve baseball because the players and managers
will be less likely to act like jackasses with a
woman umpire than a male umpire.
Whether playing baseball or watching it, it's
always been a pet peeve of mine how asinine players
and managers sometimes behave in relation to umpires.
This exists in baseball at all levels. When I played
baseball we could've been losing 11-1 in the 9th
inning but I swear that half of the guys would be
blaming a bad call by the umpire in the 3rd inning...
To read more and to discuss this issue on my
blog, click
here.
 |
Online Dating Rights
Online Dating Rights
opposes the new federal
International Marriage Broker
Regulation Act, which requires
Americans who seek to meet
foreigners via the internet
to have a criminal background
check and an intrusive report
about intimate details of
one's life BEFORE any communication--the
first time in US history
that such checks have been
required.
www.onlinedatingrights.com
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You Be the Judge--NOW Claims This Ad Is 'Offensive
to Women'--Is It? (Part VI)
 Background:
The National Organization for Women/NOW Foundation
has launched a new campaign around ads which they
label "Offensive to Women." The campaign involved
Love Your Body Day 2007, which was October 18. In
this series, I'm reprinting some of the ads which
NOW tells us are "Offensive to Women," giving my
own humble opinion on the matter and soliciting
yours.
In
You
Be the Judge (Part I), I agreed with NOW. In
Part
II, I agreed with them on one out of two. In
Part
III, I thought they were wrong on both.
In
Part IV and also
Part
V, I agreed with NOW.
NOW protests this St. Pauli Girl ad. They write:
"A woman presented as a human beer bottle--now
that should make you foam at the mouth. Once you've
finished consuming her, should you just discard
her like an empty beer bottle?"
I don't see anything wrong with this ad--the
brand of beer is "St. Pauli Girl," so they have
a picture of a beer that looks like a girl. There's
nothing about "discarding her like an empty beer
bottle," or whatever.
I disagree with NOW on this one, so that brings
NOW's score, in my book, to 4 out of 8 correct.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
Susan Faludi--'9/11 led to the disappearance and
even demonization of independent female voices'
 Feminist
author Susan Faludi, author of the 1992 bestseller
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women,
has a new anti-male book out called
The Terror Dream. According to attorney/blogger
Doug Slain, Faludi asserts that "9/11 led to
a 'peculiar urge to recast a martial attack as a
domestic drama, attended by the disappearance and
even demonization of independent female voices.'"
(Translation--in the wake of 9/11, the terrorism
crisis, and the incredible heroism of New York City
emergency personnel, men and masculinity did win
back a small chunk of the respect and dignity that
feminism had stripped away over the previous 30
years, and Faludi can't stand it.)
Read Slain's full blog post
here.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
|
Alicia M. Crowe's Real Dads Stand
Up!
Alicia M. Crowe's new book Real
Dads Stand Up! explains what
every single father should know
about child support, rights and
custody. Learn how to exercise your
legal rights, avoid 'baby mama drama',
navigate the child support system,
gain and maintain access to your
children, and settle issues without
going to trial.
www.realdadsstandup.com |
|
Fathers' Rights Legal Help
If you need help with divorce, child
custody, child support, alimony
and visitation issues,
The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving,
Ltd. is one of the only law
firms in the country focused almost
exclusively on fathers' rights in
divorce. Leving did heroic work
on the Elian Gonzalez case, helping
reunite Elian with his father. He
also co-authored Illinois' Joint
Custody Law, and was named one of
"America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes
Radio. Leving is the author of
Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and
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|
NOW Goes Up Against Victoria's Secret in
Arizona Town
 The
local chapter of the National Organization
for Women and other sympathizers battled
Victoria's Secret over its advertising banner
(pictured). Apparently Vicki Parry, 47,
was traumatized, explaining, "There it was,
bigger than life. These breasts towering
over me."
Believe it or not, the story on this
made Arizona's largest newspaper and several
TV stations.
Victoria's Secret says it will change big
posters
Mike Walbert and David van den Berg
The Arizona Republic
10/30/07
Bras, panties and the women modeling
those items touched a nerve in the Gilbert
community this week, sparking debate over
sexy advertising and what's in good taste.
A small, yet vocal, group of patrons
swayed the developer of Gilbert's new SanTan
Village outdoor mall to pursue switching
out multiple large pictures of scantily
clad women found outside the Victoria's
Secret lingerie store.
The mall officially opened last Friday
near Williams Field Road and Loop 202.
Vicki Parry of Gilbert went to SanTan
Village last weekend with her husband and
the large images disturbed her.
"There it was, bigger than life. These
breasts towering over me," Parry, 47, said.
Mall developer Westcor and Victoria's
Secret are working to change the images
at the store. No time has been set for when
that will occur, other than as soon as reasonably
possible, said Sheila Hunter, senior property
manager with Westcor...
To read more and to discuss this issue
on my blog, click
here.
 Help
for Los
Angeles/Ventura
County Dads
Certified
Family Law
Specialist
Peter M.
Walzer was
one of the
key figures
in our successful
legislative
struggle
to preserve
the LaMusga
move-away
decision.
As Chair
of the State
Bar of California
Family Law
Section
Executive
Committee,
Walzer lobbied
the state
legislature
to improve
California
laws on
child support
and child
custody.
He's an
American
Academy
of Matrimonial
Lawyers
Fellow who
has authored
numerous
articles
on custody
issues,
business
valuation
in marital
dissolutions
and spousal
and child
support.
www.California-Divorce.com
|
The LaMusga
Company
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Company
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individuals
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I Discuss Our Elian II Campaign on the Maria
Sanchez Show
 Background:
I recently partnered with Dr. Ned
Holstein and
Fathers & Families in a
campaign to protest Florida Department of
Children & Families' actions in the "Elian
Gonzalez II" case in Miami. In that case,
Rafael Izquierdo, a fit, loving father,
has faced numerous obstacles to reunite
with his 5-year-old daughter.
Thousands of you answered our call
to action, and the campaign has been covered
or cited in hundreds of newspapers. Florida
DCF, to its credit, met with us. To
learn more or to join our campaign, click
here.
I discussed our Elian Gonzalez II Campaign
on the Maria Sanchez Morning Show
on KKZZ AM 1590 in Ventura, CA yesterday.
The audio of the interview is available--to
listen, click
here.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
 Dr.
Warren Farrell's Shared
Parenting Evidence Kit--What
You Need to Win Shared Physical
Custody
Dr. Warren Farrell, a top
expert on children of divorce
now offers a complete evidence
kit to help you win shared
custody. The DVDs,
audio CD and electronic
files summarize the best
scientific research available
collected over decades.
Scientific research has
proven that children do
far better with near equal
time with both parents with
minimal conditions.
This video set was developed
to educate parents, judges,
lawyers, psychologists and
other divorce professionals.
Most judges are doing exactly
what is worst for children
with sole-custody.
Submitted as evidence this
will maximize your chances.
Divorce Reform groups call(508)
381-1450 to use as fundraiser.
www.BestInterestofChildren.org |
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Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law
attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock
has experience fighting
for noncustodial parents
against Michigan's abusive
FOC. Her
holistic approach to
divorce gets results for
her clients while avoiding
the scorched earth approach
to law that leaves families
emotionally and financially
devastated.
Lady4Justice.com
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'The divorce court allowed my ex-wife
to get away with wiping out the
bank accounts, leaving me to pay
the $20,000 of debt she charged
up'We've often discussed
how women are sometimes able to
get away with practically anything
in family court, and the letter
below is another example. Part of
the reason for this problem is the
family law system's anti-father
bias. Part of it is the negative
societal image of men and fathers,
particularly divorced dads. Part
of it is that courts are often so
jammed that judges don't have the
time to make meaningful decisions.
Part of it is judges' concern--legitimate,
to a degree--that economically vulnerable
women not be left unable to provide
for themselves and their children
after divorce or separation.
The letter below from Mike, a
reader, provides a good example
of the way some women try to scam
men in family court, and the way
the courts close their eyes to it.
It was originally written in response
to my blog post
Welcome Home, Soldier--Dad Comes
Back from Army in Iraq to Visit
His Daughters, Is Jailed for Child
Support.
Mike writes:
"I was a good, law-abiding citizen
and a hard worker all my life. I
struggled and sacrificed to get
educated and provide a comfortable
life for my family...throughout
the four years of my divorce the
courts allowed my ex-wife to get
away with wiping out the bank accounts,
leaving me to pay the $20,000 of
debt she charged up, and pay all
medical bills (including the ones
for her colored contact lenses,
which had no medical purpose other
than to turn her eyes blue).
"The court further labeled me
as a criminal and abuser through
false allegations from my ex-wife,
while also allowing the man she
cheated with (a documented alcoholic
and convicted felon with attempted
murder and vehicular homicide on
his record) to move in with her
and my young son.
"To add insult to injury, the
court made me pay all the bills
in the house (including the electricity
of which they kept the lights, air-conditioning,
and pool heater on 24x7; and the
phone, where they got every feature
and made daily calls overseas).
The court also gave her my only
car, even though she bought both
herself and her boyfriend new cars
from the money she got when she
wiped out our bank account (my life
savings).
"In the end the court turned
a blind eye to the daily abuse my
ex and her boyfriend would inflict
on our son, while justifying her
refusal to give me court ordered
visitation with the myth that I
am probably the abuser. Best of
all, they allowed my son to be abused
(even to this day) with the justification
that it is in the 'best interest
of the child.'
"These days I'm in a job I hate.
Normally, I would just quit, cut
down on expenses, and find something
new. However, since I pay child
support voluntarily quitting a job
can well put me in jail."
To discuss this issue on my blog,
click
here.
Elian II Campaign Update: Florida
Governor Charlie Crist Sends Letter
to Protesters
 Background:
I recently partnered with Dr. Ned
Holstein and
Fathers & Families in a campaign
to protest Florida Department of
Children & Families' actions in
the "Elian Gonzalez II" case in
Miami. In that case, Rafael Izquierdo,
a fit, loving father, has faced
numerous obstacles to reunite with
his 5-year-old daughter.
Thousands of you answered
our call to action, and the campaign
has been covered or cited in hundreds
of newspapers. Florida DCF, to its
credit, met with us last week. To
learn more or to join our campaign,
click
here.
Florida Governor Charlie Crist
(pictured) has sent out the letter
below to those who have joined our
protest campaign. We knew, of course,
that he couldn't discuss the Izquierdo
case directly, but our larger concern
is the child welfare system's disregard
for fathers, an issue Crist's letter
doesn't address.
To be fair, I'll give Crist credit
for responding, and also for acknowledging
to the press that it has been a
sizeable protest campaign. I suspect
that one reason DCF has acted as
it has is that Governor Crist seeks
the loyalty, votes, and campaign
donations of the large Cuban-American
community. Crist (correctly) sees
defeating Rafael Izquierdo and keeping
his five-year-old girl in the US
against his will as a way to win
Cuban-American votes. In Florida,
sticking it to Cuba's government
is a crowd-pleaser, similar to the
way politicians win popularity by
beating up on "deadbeat dads."
Crist's letter is below.
Izquierdo Child Custody Case
Thank you for contacting Governor
Charlie Crist. The Governor appreciates
your concerns about the Izquierdo
child custody case and asked me
to respond on his behalf.
Governor Crist wants to know how
people feel about the many critical
issues we face. Rest assured, the
Governor is committed to ensuring
the safety and well-being of all
children in Florida. The Department
of Children and Families is charged
with assisting abused and neglected
children. The department does this
by providing support services to
children and their families, and,
in some cases, by providing a place
outside of the home for children
to live while their family problems
are resolved in the courts.
Governor Crist appreciates your
sharing suggestions for changes
to the department's procedures.
It is our understanding the Department
of Children and Families has communicated
with Dr. Ned Holstein to discuss
these very issues.
Thank you again for contacting the
Governor's office. Please do not
hesitate to write in the future
to share your concerns about issues
that are important to you.
Sincerely,
Warren Davis
Office of Citizen Services
To discuss this issue on my blog,
click
here.
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Are You the Target of Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation cases are among
the most difficult and complicated
in family law.
J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an
expert on parental alienation. If
you're a target parent, he can help
you get back into your children's
lives. Bone has worked as a custody
evaluator and as a therapist and
knows how to help the court find
the truth. His services are available
throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can
be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662
or by email by clicking
here.
www.jmbconsulting.org
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Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally
experienced the heartbreak
of divorce and family breakup,
Brett W. Martin, Esq.
works to advance the interests
and concerns of fathers
in domestic and family law
litigation. Personal attention
is given to clients to help
them through a very difficult
time in their lives.
www.brettwmartin.com
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Husband's an Idiot in Kohler TV Commercial
 This
ad for
Kohler bathroom fixtures is funny, but, as I've
said many times before, the "man as idiot" theme
got old a long, long time ago.
On the positive side, I wish my plumber
looked like that...
To watch the commercial, click
here.
To watch some
other videos of "dad as idiot" TV commercials, click
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
or
here.
To see ads that the National Organization for
Women considers to be offensive to women, click
here.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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My Family Has Two Houses...and
I'm Okay
A workshop for children
of separation or divorce
in a workbook! In the privacy
of your own home, you can
provide your child with
a safe way of looking at
their thoughts and feelings
and help to open
discussion of relevant issues
for them with you. This
workbook can make the difference
between your child surviving
your divorce and thriving
despite it! To learn more
about My family has
two houses ...and I'm Okay!
and to order, click
here. |
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How to Win Shared Custody
Here are the litigation
secrets to winning shared
physical & legal custody
from Boston trial lawyer
Nick Palermo, Esquire
who has won
these cases for 24 years.
It costs $5,000 or more
in legal fees to gain the
knowledge and guidance contained
in this $10 handbook--The
Ten Essential Elements to
Winning Joint Shared Physical
and Legal Custody.
www.TenEssentialElements.com
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Deadbeat Abandons ChildOops, I'm sorry,
I forgot--only fathers can be deadbeats.
This mother who abandoned her child is not a "deadbeat"
for leaving her baby at a hospital. She can walk
out of the newborn girl's life without owing any
responsibility to the child she created. In fact,
if anything, she's a victim.
The article says, "[Indiana's Safe Haven Law]
The parents do not have to identify themselves or
explain their actions as long as the baby is unharmed."
"Parents"? So a dad who doesn't want to take responsibility
for a baby can simply take the baby to the hospital
and wash his hands of all responsibility the way
moms do? No, sir...
I am not without sympathy for women, particularly
young women, who face unwanted pregnancies. What
I oppose is society's severe gender double standard
on the issue.
Woman leaves newborn at hospital
By Vic Ryckaert
Indianapolis Star, 10/31/07
vic.ryckaert@indystar.com
Police say a woman left a newborn girl with a
worker at an Eastside hospital this week.
The woman, apparently the child's mother, stopped
a Community East Hospital employee in the parking
lot and handed the worker the baby girl bundled
in blankets at about 12:45 p.m. on Monday, according
to an Indianapolis Metropolitan Police report.
"The unidentified female then stated the baby
had just been born (and) that she could not take
care of it," Marion County Sheriff's Department
Special Deputy
Thomas O'Daniel wrote in his report.
Hospital worker Karen Fisher brought the child
to the hospital's nursery.
The baby is in the care of Child Protective Services,
police said.
Indiana's Safe Haven Law allows a parent who
cannot care for an infant younger than 45 days old
to leave the baby with staff at hospitals, police
stations and firehouses. The parents do not have
to identify themselves or explain their actions
as long as the baby is unharmed.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
You Be the Judge--NOW Claims This Ad Is 'Offensive
to Women'--Is It? (Part V)
 Background:
The National Organization for Women/NOW Foundation
has launched a new campaign around ads which they
label "Offensive to Women." The campaign involved
Love Your Body Day 2007, which was October 18. In
this series, I'm reprinting some of the ads which
NOW tells us are "Offensive to Women," giving my
own humble opinion on the matter and soliciting
yours.
In
You
Be the Judge (Part I), I agreed with NOW. In
Part
II, I agreed with them on one out of two. In
Part
III, I thought they were wrong on both.
In
Part IV, I agreed with NOW.
NOW (successfully) protested this
Dolce & Gabbana.
They write:
"This
ad is beyond offensive, with a scene evoking a gang
rape and reeking of violence against women. In an
interview, NOW Foundation President Kim Gandy said,
'It's in Esquire, so they probably don't
think a stylized gang rape will sell clothes to
women, but what is more likely is that they think
it will get them publicity. It's a provocative ad
but it is provoking things that really are not what
we want to have provoked. We don't need any more
violence.'"
I agree that it evokes a gang rape. You get no
sense of lightheartedness in either the woman or
the men, nor any sense that the woman is enjoying
herself. One could argue that "gang rape" is an
excessive interpretation, but I asked myself this--"If
an ad were to evoke gang rape, what would
it look like?" The answer, for me, is "probably
a lot like this."
I'm with NOW on this one, so that brings NOW's
score, in my book, to 4 out of 7 correct.
To discuss this issue on my blog, click
here.
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Background:
In the Roman
v. Roman Texas
frozen embryo case,
Augusta Roman and
her then-husband
Randy Roman had
tried for several
years to have a
child (and had one
miscarriage) before
undergoing infertility
treatments. They
later divorced.
