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New Jersey Court Ruling--She Killed His Son, but
He Must Pay Her Alimony

November 27, 2007

 

She Killed His Son but He Must Pay Her Alimony

Examples of decent, loving dads being manhandled by the anti-father family law system are legion, but this one has to make the Top 10. A recent New Jersey appeals court reaffirmed a decision mandating that a man must pay alimony to his ex-wife--who killed their son. From Legal tussle: Should killer get alimony? (Bergen Record, 11/22/07):

"A state appeals court on Wednesday refused to automatically bar alimony from spouses who kill a child...The decision was issued in the case of Linda Calbi, who is serving a three-year prison term after pleading guilty to beating her son, Matt, on Aug. 17, 2003, during a violent argument at their home. He died hours later from internal bleeding and cardiac arrest...

"Linda Calbi was originally charged with murder, but the charges were later downgraded to aggravated assault, based on expert reports that medical error contributed significantly to the boy's death. She was sentenced last year to three years in prison and won't be eligible for parole until November 2008.

"The Calbis were divorced in 2001 after 15 years of marriage. A few months after Matt's death, Chris Calbi fell behind on his alimony payments and filed papers in court seeking a reduction or termination of his payment obligations.
 

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"'She took the life of her oldest son, scarred her younger son for the rest of his life, and tore the fabric of my soul from me,' Chris Calbi wrote in papers filed in Superior Court in Hackensack. 'To reward this evil and violent woman by allowing her ... to derive a financial benefit from the family she destroyed ... can only be described as a perversion of our justice system.'"

Chris Calbi had been paying Linda $3,183 a month until her incarceration, and may be saddled with that amount when Linda is paroled. Chris is pictured with his deceased son Matthew and his surviving son Dean above. A few comments:

1) Chris Calbi claimed that Linda abused and assaulted him during their marriage, at times employing a kitchen knife and a hammer. The death of the son is discussed in Typical teen meets a tragic end (Bergen Record, 8/20/03), and Linda Calbi sounds like a real sweetheart:

"As [Christopher Calbi's] company - Robert Christopher Sales - grew, [Christopher] was increasingly away in Europe on business, Linda Calbi said in divorce papers. Though they shared fine dinners, and Christopher Calbi showered his wife with gifts, a physical and emotional distance developed between Matthew's parents, her papers say.

"Linda Calbi said in the papers that she felt like 'a highly paid slave.'

"Christopher Calbi countered that his wife subjected him to 'profanity-laced tirades and ridicule.'"

2) From the same article:

"The couple split in 1999 and - after 15 years of marriage - divorced in July 2001.

"Meanwhile, Matthew was having problems at school, said a woman who worked in the River Vale school system.

"When Matthew was in the special education program at Holdrum Middle School, he regularly came to class with bruises, said the woman, who declined to be identified. The teen always had an excuse for the marks - he was playing with his younger brother, or he fell, the woman said.

"But in April 2002, the woman noticed a strange bruise on Matthew's wrist, one she thought looked like a defensive wound. She asked Matt to explain, but he couldn't, she said, so she called DYFS to report the mark.

"As part of the special education program, Linda Calbi met routinely with educators to review her son's performance.

"But when Calbi showed up, she often smelled of booze, the woman said. 'You could light the air on fire, she smelled so badly,' the woman said.

"Linda could not understand why her son wasn't more successful in school.

"'She was very forceful when she spoke. Nothing was ever her fault, and of course she was at her wit's end,' the woman said."

3) The father now has to raise the surviving son, Dean, age 12, on his own. Is Linda being asked to pay child support? Isn't Chris' ability to provide for Dean negatively impacted by having to pay alimony to the noncustodial parent?

4) Chris also needs to save his money--Linda may be out of prison in less than a year and will be fighting for visitation rights to Dean. In July, 2006, a judge ordered a supervised visitation between Dean and his mother, contingent on the boy's acceptance.

5) Linda apparently received a lesser charge and sentence for her crime because supposedly there was medical bungling by the hospital after she assaulted her son which contributed to Matthew's death. How much of her light sentence is due to the alleged medical bungling and how much is just the standard female sentencing discount is unclear.

6) It's amazing some of the things that an attorney will say. Linda's attorney, Ian Hirsch, said:

"'Mr. Calbi is using his son's death to take away any obligations he has,' Hirsch said. 'I think he's trying to take advantage of a tragedy and turn it around to his economic benefit.'"

Yup--dad not wanting to pay money to the woman who killed his son is "taking advantage of a tragedy and turning it around to his economic benefit." Bad dad--how could he be so rotten?

7) Can you imagine a judge ordering a woman to pay alimony to the ex-husband who murdered her child? In fact, California has a recent law which created a presumption that a victim of domestic violence should not be required to pay support to a violent spouse.

8) Once again we see the link between family violence and substance abuse. Misguided feminists often downplay this link because it contradicts the feminist Duluth/"domestic violence is a function of the patriarchy" family violence model.

The new court decision by the Superior Court of New Jersey's Appellate Division can be seen here.

A recent CNN report on the case can be viewed here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.


Georgia Child Rape Case Has Some Problems (Part I)

An 11-year-old Georgia girl claims that an 8-year-old and two 9-year-old boys kidnapped and raped her. According to CNN, "Three boys, ages 8 and 9, were charged Monday with raping the 11-year-old girl."

The most recent CNN news story is below. To watch the video of the girl describe the alleged attack, click here.

On one level, the girl sounds credible during the interview. On the other hand, several things seem very strange:

1) Though it's barely detectible in the news reports, the alleged rape victim was not alone with the three boys--she was also with a friend of hers. So for the charge to be true, the three younger boys would have had to completely overpower two girls, one and probably both of whom are older.

2) The boy "rapist" was nine, his alleged victim was 11. In the video, the girl looks pretty big. (Note that in the picture above, she is standing to the right of her mother, and both of them are near the car. She's almost as tall as the reporter who is interviewing her.)

The boy's father says she is far bigger than his son. Could a boy rape a girl who is apparently much bigger than him? The father of the alleged rapist also claims that the boy has a broken wrist.

3) Is an eight-or nine-year-old boy even physically capable of sex or rape?

Child-on-child rape case stuns small Georgia town
CNN, 11/20/07

ACWORTH, Georgia (AP) -- They could barely see over the courtroom table, and their legs were too short to reach the floor: An 8-year-old and two 9-year-old boys, accused of raping an 11-year-old neighbor.

A girl, 11, says three boys, ages 8 and 9, raped her in a field behind this Acworth, Georgia, apartment complex.

The case sent shockwaves through this community some 30 miles north of Atlanta, particularly in the working class apartment complex where the children live.

"It's just hard to understand," said Chris Ware, who has lived in the complex three years.

The boys are accused of forcing a girl they were playing with into a litter-strewn wooded area behind the complex Thursday. She said she was threatened with a rock, and that one of the boys raped her, according to Acworth Police Chief Mike Wilkie.

Authorities said the girl waited until Saturday to tell her family, who then reported it to police.

But the father of one of the boys told WGCL-TV that the girl made up the rape allegations to cover her own behavior.

"She's trying to cover her own butt by getting everyone else in more serious trouble," the station's Web site quotes the father as saying...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 


Georgia Child Rape Case Has Some Problems (Part II)

Background: An 11-year-old Georgia girl claims that an 8-year-old and two 9-year-old boys kidnapped and raped her, and they have been criminally charged. While the girl sounded credible during the brief CNN interview, there are several elements of the case which call her account into question. To learn more, see my blog post Georgia Child Rape Case Has Some Problems (Part I).

I read this article and watched the video tape and almost fell off my chair. In the story, one of the boys' fathers said that if there was sex between his son and the girl, it was consensual.

When asked for a response, incredibly, Police Chief Michael Wilkie of Acworth (pictured) told CNN that because children that young cannot legally consent to sex, "we have to go with the charges we have"--in other words, the rape charges. So let's say that the 11 year-old girl and one of the boys did have consensual sex. Because children cannot legally consent to sex, that means that the girl has been raped and the boy is a rapist? Even though they're both children? Even though the girl is considerably older than the boy?

The full story is below. The video link is here.

Three boys, 8 and 9, charged with raping 11-year-old girl
CNN, 11/19/07

MARIETTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Three boys, ages 8 and 9, were charged Monday with raping an 11-year-old girl last week, court officials and police said.

"Never in my 20-plus years of law enforcement have I conceived of something like this," Police Chief Michael Wilkie of Acworth, Georgia, told CNN.

Clad in blue jumpsuits, the two 9-year-olds and one 8-year-old appeared in court in Cobb County, north of Atlanta, on Monday afternoon and were ordered to remain in custody until a further hearing. Family members were in court for their appearance, which was closed to reporters.

Wilkie said the girl told investigators she was raped Thursday evening. She was examined by doctors after her family reported the allegation late Saturday, and investigators questioned her extensively on Sunday, he said.

The father of one of the boys told The Associated Press that no force was used against the girl, and said the allegations have been leveled because the accuser "didn't want to get in trouble with her parents."

But Wilkie said children that young cannot legally consent to sex, "so we have to go with the charges we have"...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.

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'My Boyfriend's Ex Had Her Child 2 Months 'Premature'--He Was Young and Didn't Realize She Was Already Two Months Pregnant When She Met Him'

A letter from Tracy, a reader. Sad to say, I'm not even surprised. Tracy writes:

Dear Glenn:

I was sitting in the Atlanta airport stuck overnight due to layovers, while I was there I saw you on TV and scribbled your name down, hoping I wrote it down correctly.  My family needs some help, I have done everything I can to help my boyfriend Curt, but everywhere we turn there is just another door slammed in our face.

Curt, the father of my son and unborn child coming in March, is the best father you could ever ask for. He is my best friend. You could not ask for a better person to be with. Well, he met the wrong women when he was in his early 20s. She told him she was pregnant a few months into the relationship, and he started working three jobs so she would not have to work.

It's too bad for him he was working so hard, he missed appointments, etc, but he was there for the birth. This lady had her child two months "premature" at 7 lbs and some odd oz.  Curt stuck by her side and, being young and not knowing anything about pregnancy, did not realize this woman was taking him for a ride--she was already two months pregnant when she met him.

She knows who her child's father is, yet he is stuck paying support.  He could not get a drivers license, open a bank account, get a loan, or a job until he had caught up on his back support.  He has been blackballed for unpaid support.  It's all caught up now and has been for eight years, but it still shows on his credit report.
We both have to work and when we are short that at the end of the month and have to send the child support out to child that is not his, and our kid has to go without, it hurts.  I don't know how he just keeps paying it--if I were in his shoes I would have let them put me in jail.

He keeps on paying her, the courts tell him too bad.  THEY  HAVE NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT THE DNA TEST.  He paid for the test out of his own pocket. The child is not his, she has even told him who the father is.

What's really not fair is for that child, he is growing up hating Curt for not being around when he has his own dad out there that does not even know he has a child.  If that man is like my boyfriend, when he finally does find out he is going to be so upset that he has missed watching his little boy grow.

Curt just wants this support stopped, I want to be able to go buy our kids what they need and not have to worry about supporting other people's kids. Every year they fight to have Curt's child support increased.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

A Legal Advocate for Fathers in Los Angeles & Ventura Counties
The Law Offices of Adam Michael Sacks, Esq., handles cases of all sizes with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to helping fathers protect themselves in a divorce. Don't assume anything and don't sign anything--call Adam Sacks, Esq. at 1-800-340-7320, or write him at adam@adamlawyer.com. www.adamlawyer.com (No relation)
FALSELY ACCUSED IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA?
If you've been falsely accused of domestic violence, sexual abuse, child molestation, or other crimes of a sexual nature, contact The Law Offices of Douglas R. Slain. Slain is a specialist who has worked for over 30 years to defend falsely accused men and fathers. To learn more, click here, or call 800-438-6820.

'Single Mothers by Choice' Behaving Badly (Part I)

A few weeks ago I debated the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" on the BBC. The producer emailed the guests the 2006 London Times article Focus: Going solo (6/4/06), and among those I was debating was Viki Matten, who is discussed in the piece as an early pioneer in the "Single Motherhood by Choice" movement.

The article unintentionally reads like a laundry list of bad behavior by "single mothers by choice." A couple examples:

 1) "[Former Spice Girl] Geri Halliwell (pictured) last month gave birth to a daughter, Bluebell Madonna, conceived during a six-week fling with the screenwriter Sacha Gervasi. Early on in the pregnancy Halliwell fell out with Gervasi -- apparently when he questioned whether the hasty conception had been an accident. The hapless 40-year-old was then reportedly reduced to hanging around London's exclusive Portland hospital hoping to catch a glimpse of his baby, having found himself superfluous to Halliwell's requirements."

2) "Some women, of course, don't want to stop at one child. Clare, a 35-year-old criminal law paralegal from Berkshire, has done a 'double Geri', resulting in Charlie and Mia. She got pregnant by her then lover in 2003. Shortly after the baby was born, the relationship fell apart. She then plotted with her best friend to set up her unsuspecting ex a second time.

"I seduced him in a pub car park when I knew I was at my most fertile,' she says. 'I put on a little floral dress and a bit of makeup. I had a lucky shot, and that was it.'"

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond
Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Called by some a "fathers' rights organization," Fathers & Families is made up of men and women who believe that fathers are an essential part of a child's life and that divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org 
FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS?
Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense.
Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson
www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com
Goldberg & Associates--the Parental Alienation Specialists
If you're the target of Parental Alienation, the Parental Alienation specialists at Goldberg & Associates can help. They operate throughout the U.S. and Canada and assist family law attorneys and targeted parents needing medical-legal consulting services related to Parental Alienation. Call them at 905.481.0367 or visit their website www.parentalalienation.ca.

'Single Mothers by Choice' Behaving Badly (Part II)

Background: A few weeks ago I debated the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" on the BBC. The producer emailed the guests the 2006 London Times article Focus: Going solo (6/4/06), and among those I was debating was Viki Matten, who is discussed in the piece as an early pioneer in the "Single Motherhood by Choice" movement. A poll of 5,000 women conducted for That's Life! magazine in the United Kingdom found that 42% of women say they would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, regardless of the wishes of their partners. Reading this article, I can believe it.

In this blog post and in Part I, I'm pointing out some of the appalling behavior of some of the women in the article. A couple examples:

 1) "[Men] are often handed a maintenance bill for a child they didn't know they were going to have. One woman, who admitted to pursuing a man purely for his sperm and now receives a 346.50 GBP monthly 'bonus' from him, says: 'It means he can't get a mortgage, but I don't care, he wasn't very nice to me -- if he'd behaved better I might have let him stick around.'"

2) "According to Lucy Beresford, a psychotherapist at the Priory hospital in Roehampton, southwest London, more and more women are resorting to sometimes dubious tactics to achieve motherhood.

"'You could call them 'sperm catchers',' she said. 'This is being driven by career women in their mid-to-late thirties who find that having a baby is rising to the top of their 'to do' list. It is happening increasingly. If they haven't a partner, they've got the basic kit and they decide to go it alone'...

"'Sperm donation is messy and legally fraught,' said a 34-year-old advertising executive who is privy to such discussions. 'They've changed the law so that the donor can potentially come back to haunt you. Adoption takes for ever. The old-fashioned option -- a one-night stand, is the least complicated way of getting pregnant. It's quick, you get to view a prototype and it's free'...

"One woman, who did not want to be named, said she found that 21st century metro-man is now frustratingly aware of 'shared responsibility' when it comes to sexual encounters, and her attempts at impregnation became farcical as she attempted to find a man who would mate au naturel."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

HELP FOR NORTHERN CALIFORNIA FATHERS
If you're a father in Northern California who's going through a divorce or its aftermath and need legal help, contact The Law Offices of Douglas R. Slain. Slain, a graduate of Stanford Law School, has over 30 years of experience in family law and criminal defense. He can help you protect your relationship with your kids and your finances. To learn more, click here, or call 800-438-6820.
Jeff Leving's New Book--Divorce Wars
Jeffery M. Leving, one of America's most prominent divorce lawyers, has written a new book on how to win any divorce fairly, even when your spouse brings out the heavy artillery. Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes, and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets Ugly provides essential advice on everything from picking the right lawyer and devising a winning settlement strategy to getting the most from your day in court and dealing with an ex-spouse. Divorce Wars is available here.
Help, Resources for Dads
The National Fathers' Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Houston. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers' rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org

Postcards from Splitsville (Part I)

The drawing above was taken from Kara Bishop's www.postcardsfromsplitsville.com. Bishop works with Children of Divorce, a class run by Tucson, Arizona-based Divorce Recovery. The class did an art project that included "sending away" the frustrations of divorce. The website is a place where Kara says "children can share their divorce-related feelings anonymously and parents can get a new perspective on how this life-changing experience impacts their children's lives." Kara can be reached at Kara@PostcardsfromSplitsville.com.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Help for Midwest Fathers
Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com
Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody
Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell

A Sad but True Commentary on Modern American Families

New Yorker cartoonist William Haefeli's recent cartoon above says a lot about modern families.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Families Against Confiscatory Child Support (FACCS)
FACCS is the national voice for fair and reasonable child support. FACCS believes all parents have an obligation to support their children financially. However, in high income cases, state and federal laws often result in excessive awards that are effectively alimony in disguise and have little to do with supporting children. Huge child support awards lead to protracted custody disputes, undermines co-parenting, and leaves children worse off financially. www.faccsonline.org / contact@faccsonline.org

Are You Paying Child Support for a Child Who May Not Be Yours?
RuDaddy Inc. offers a free case evaluation to men who are paying child support for children who may not be theirs. RuDaddy operates nationwide and is affordable and effective. Call them at 888-RUDADDY (888-783-2339), or email them at rudaddy@cox.net. www.rudaddy.com


Fathers & Families News Digest, 11-27-07

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families' latest News Digest.

On the home front: Soldier custody battle (WHOTV.com, 11-20-07)

Suspect arrested in playground killing of NYC orthodontist (Associated Press, 11-20-07)

Mom's boyfriend may face new charges in boy's death (The Day, 11-21-07)

Divorce rates falling locally and across the US (Kansas City Star, 11-21-07)

High Court backs custody battle dad (UTV, 11-22-07)

Lehigh County to give parents extra time for child support, if commitment is made (The Morning Call, 11-22-07)

New ways of making deadbeats pay up (Daily Herald, 11-23-07)

New Convention on child support targets parents (Associated Press, 11-23-07)

Hogan 'shocked' by divorce (Fox23, 11-25-07)

Mom flees with 3 sons (San Gabriel Valley Tribune, 11-26-07)

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The Men's Legal Center--Help for Men & Fathers
The Men's Legal Center, Family Law Advocates specializes in representing men in Family Law Court in San Diego. They also provide guidance and assistance for fathers all over California. Contact them at 619.234.3838 or by email by clicking here.
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Dance4Equality
Dance4Equality promotes awareness and advocacy for equal rights in family law through the beautiful uniqueness of dance. Led by Derek J. Bailey, an enrolled tribal member of the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, Dance4Equality has led protests against the Michigan family courts to promote equal protection for all in family law cases. To learn more, click here.

From 1900: Another Example of How Our Society Never Valued Women or Saw Them as Human

Feminists often portray the pre-feminist (pre-1970) era as one in which women were not valued or seen as being fully human. To cite one example of thousands, just this week the National Organization for Women wrote on their website: "Are women human? Do women deserve full human rights? The U.S. Senate isn't sure."

My belief is that while 1960s/1970s feminists had plenty of legitimate grievances, their insistence that society never valued women is false. In reality, men made enormous sacrifices to provide for their wives and children--a testament to the average man's respect for women. In my column Hate My Father? No Ma'am! (World Net Daily, 4/8/02), I wrote:

"[There has been a] successful feminist re-writing of the pre-feminist past as a virtual dark ages where men lived like nobles and women were their serfs...Tens of millions of male blue collar workers--who put their bodies on the line in the coal mines and steel mills so their wives and children could live in safety and comfort--have been turned into oppressors. Their wives and children, for whom these men sacrificed so much, have been turned into their victims..."

While reading one of Bill James' baseball books recently, I stumbled upon another small but real example of how society viewed women 100 years ago. It concerns an incident involving George Davis (pictured), a turn-of-the century star baseball player, some of his teammates, and a devastating apartment fire.

Davis, then a player with the New York Giants, was on the way to the Polo Grounds with two of his teammates on April 26, 1900 when they saw smoke rising from an apartment building a couple of blocks away and rushed to the scene. It was a major fire which left 45 families homeless. According to the New York World's article the next day:
 
"George Davis, Captain of the New York ball team, with 'Kid' Gleason and 'Mike' Grady of the same nine, had been among the first on the scene and had worked like Trojans in carrying down the helpless. They saw Mrs. F Van Lieben on the top floor of No. 304.
 
"'There's a woman up there!' Capt. Davis exclaimed. He went up the ladder like a squirrel. The heat within blistered his face but he reached the woman and carried her down.  She had nearly fainted from terror...
 
"Firemen Roach, Arene, Browning, and Gulick rescued Mrs. Sturges and her three daughters, cut off by flames on the fourth floor of No. 306. Bicycle Policeman Sturden rescued two girls from the third floor of No. 306. Mrs. Tibbetts and a three year-old child were taken from the fourth floor down the front fire-escape by 'Kid' Gleason and Capt. Davis.
 
"Mike Grady and Fireman Frederick Bluemmertt of Hook and Ladder No. 23 took Mrs. Pease in safety from the third floor. Bluemmertt's hand was badly cut by crashing glass and he was taken to the J. Hood Wright Memorial Hospital.
 
"Interviewed about it on the scene, Davis told a reporter that 'I didn't do much. I just went up the ladder the same as the rest of the boys and helped to carry down women and children. Once I thought I was going to be cut off by the flames and be prevented from reaching a child that was holding out its arms to me. But I got through to the little one and reached the ground without either of us being hurt. I didn't do half as much as Grady and Gleason. We were on our way to the Polo Grounds for preliminary practice before tackling the Bostons when we were attracted by the fire.'"

Three major league baseball players spontaneously risked their lives to save women and children (mostly girls), without a thought for their own safety, as did numerous firemen and policemen--hardly exemplary of men not valuing women and girls.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights
Online Dating Rights opposes the new federal International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, which requires Americans who seek to meet foreigners via the internet to have a criminal background check and an intrusive report about intimate details of one's life BEFORE any communication--the first time in US history that such checks have been required. www.onlinedatingrights.com
SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers
If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men.
Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com
My Sara
My Sara
--How the Adoption Assistance Agency stole a baby girl away from her loving family and put her up for adoption, for a nice profit. To learn more about this incredible story, go to www.my-sara.com

Windex Commercial--Dad's an Idiot and His Pain Is Funny

Background: TV often portrays men and fathers as idiots--to learn more, click here.

Brandweek Magazine editor Todd Wasserman discussed the problem of 'Dad as Idiot' advertising in his recent column The Surviving Dads Of Ads.

In this Windex commercial, dad is an idiot and his wife/mommy cleans up after him.

The man is also in pain, which is, of course, slapstick funny.

To watch the commercial, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Happily Un-married! Living Together & Loving It!
Living together is becoming widely accepted among all ages. Happily Un-married! is the first book to take a serious & non-judgmental look at helping these couples improve the fitness of their relationships. The rate of cohabitation is skyrocketing--10 million couples, 40% of whom have children. Happily Un-married! helps unmarried couples stabilize and strengthen their relationships. www.cohabitating.org
Help for Georgia Dads
Georgia attorney Edwin M. Saginar has 36 years of experience in family law and criminal defense, including domestic violence. He has seen many spouses falsely accuse their significant others of family violence, and knows how to defend your rights. www.edwinsaginar.com
Need Affordable Help with Child Support and Custody Issues?
Legal Services Centers of America provides fathers with affordable help in family law matters such as child support and child custody. Based in Colorado, they handle cases throughout the US. Call them at (719) 219-3561or write them at lscalegal@earthlink.net. www.legalservicecentersofamerica.com

New Movie Starring Keira Knightley Focuses on Pain Caused by False Rape Accusation

The new movie Atonement, starring Keira Knightley (pictured), focuses on the destruction wrought by a false sexual assault accusation. The movie trailer can be seen here. The film's release date is December 7. A description of the film's plot from Wikipedia is below (warning, plot spoilers):

"The film is at first set in the UK in the 1930s. 13-year-old Briony has a crush on Robbie, who is in love with Briony's sister Cecilia. Through her window, she sees Cecilia jump into a fountain in the presence of Robbie, which Briony understands as a flirtation between them.

"Robbie asks Briony to give a letter to Cecilia, thinking it's an apology he's written. Briony reads it, but it's not an apology; it's a sexually explicit letter that Robbie had also written but never intended on showing to anyone. Briony thinks Robbie is a pervert. She later discovers Cecilia and Robbie having sex in the library (they did this after finally confessing their love for each other). That same night, Cecilia's and Briony's cousin Lola Quincey is sexually assaulted by Paul Marshall, a guest staying at the house. Briony assumes Robbie was the culprit, and pretends to have seen him do it. As a result Robbie is arrested and convicted..."

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Alicia M. Crowe's Real Dads Stand Up!
Alicia M. Crowe's new book Real Dads Stand Up! explains what every single father should know about child support, rights and custody. Learn how to exercise your legal rights, avoid 'baby mama drama', navigate the child support system, gain and maintain access to your children, and settle issues without going to trial. www.realdadsstandup.com

Fathers' Rights Legal Help
If you need help with divorce, child custody, child support, alimony and visitation issues, The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving, Ltd. is one of the only law firms in the country focused almost exclusively on fathers' rights in divorce. Leving did heroic work on the Elian Gonzalez case, helping reunite Elian with his father. He also co-authored Illinois' Joint Custody Law, and was named one of "America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes Radio. Leving is the author of Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute. Call today for an initial consultation (312) 807-3990 or visit us on the web at www.dadsrights.com.


His Side with Glenn Sacks Radio Commentary: Child Support and Ex-Offenders

My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles discusses one of the child support system's more insane aspects--the way it saddles ex-offenders with impossible debts as they exit prison and try to reintegrate into society.

To listen to the commentary, click here.

To learn more, see my co-authored column New Justice Department Report's Recommendations Could Reduce Prisoner Recidivism (Chicago Sun-Times, 10/26/07).

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. KLAA hosts include Glenn Beck and Michael Savage.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads
Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com
LaMusga Divorce Financial Planning
Divorce brings about a myriad of financial challenges and changes. Often divorcing couples make important decisions in a rash manner, with emotions impairing their judgment. These decisions may at times serve the parties well in the short-term, but can result in damaging and unnecessary long-term financial hardships.  Gary has successfully completed the training and testing required for designation as a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM and can assist you and your attorney in the process. To learn more, click here or call 925-287-1567.  Tracking Number  6790, DOFU 11/07

Child Support Enforcement's Endless Errors (Part I): Agency Demands Man Pay Ex-Wife CS for Child He Has with New Wife

"Bungling cases isn't anything new at Friend of the Court. In recent years Action News has repeatedly showed you how Friend of the Court has accused honest men of being deadbeat dads even when they had proof they were paying child support or didn't owe a penny."

Critics of divorced fathers and so-called "deadbeat dads" are often unaware of the many problems with the way child support is set and enforced. One of these problems is the phenomenal amount of errors Child Support enforcement agencies make. I'll be running stories about them as part of my series called "Child Support Enforcement's Endless Errors."

According to the Detroit TV station WXYZ's news report Friend of the Court (11/10/06):

"It's a system designed to protect children from the hardships of divorce, but one family says Wayne County Friend of the Court made life miserable instead.

"The Wayne County Friend of the Court is a place with a history of botching simple cases and turning them into a maddeningly confusing mess.

"No one knows that better than Ruth and Dale Akers, who married 6 years ago and had a baby named Dale IV.

"But then they got a notice from Friend of the Court saying their son wasn't theirs. Instead, it said, he belonged to Dale's ex-wife and Dale owed child support.

"Bungling cases isn't anything new at Friend of the Court. In recent years Action News has repeatedly showed you how Friend of the Court has accused honest men of being deadbeat dads even when they had proof they were paying child support or didn't owe a penny.

"Terrance Hale said Friend of the Court misspelled his name and had him paying support for a newborn named Marjae to a stranger named Toni Etters.

"'All they could tell me is this is your kid because the computer says it's your kid,' he said...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody
Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com

You Just Won't Be Satisfied, Too Much Ain't Enough

From Alex Gregory, in the New Yorker.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The Diary of a Patient Man--How a Male DV Victim Fought the System and Fought for His Child
William Stoneking's The Diary of a Patient Man is the compelling and inspirational true story of a father's fight for his child against a violent ex-wife and a biased court system that tried to drive him away. Get it online or order your copy here.
Are you or someone you love being abused?
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families in order to help survivors recover from the trauma of domestic violence. Contact them by clicking here.

Unfortunately, Most Parents Can Relate to This

The piece is satirical, of course, but I think many parents have felt the same kind of disappointment that the dad in this Onion article felt.

Child Unimpressed With Aurora Borealis After Whole Day Of Tekken 3
The Onion
November 17, 1999

INTERNATIONAL FALLS, MN--A wide-eyed gaze of childlike wonderment over the incomprehensible majesty of creation was not elicited Monday, when 7-year-old Kenny Meier, son of local high-school science teacher Stan Meier, was unmoved by the Aurora Borealis after spending an estimated 12 hours playing Tekken 3.

"I have never forgotten the magic night that my own father, like his father and his father's father before him, gently woke me, bundled me up in a warm blanket and quietly led me outside to see the Northern Lights for the first time," said the elder Meier, dejectedly sipping a cup of hot cocoa on the back porch as his uninterested son ran back inside to his Sony PlayStation. "It was a moment I'd always looked forward to sharing with my own son."

"Well, so much for that dream," added Meier, heading to the kitchen to pour the boy's untouched mug of cocoa into the sink.

The shimmering curtain of iridescent light known as Aurora Borealis is fabled in story and song as one of nature's most beautiful and awe-inspiring phenomena. For Kenny, however, it paled in comparison to Tekken 3's 3-D graphics and impressive 64-bit motion-capture animation, inspiring him to say, "I'm cold, Dad. Can we go back in now?"

The Northern Lights occur when the Earth's magnetic field interacts with the "solar wind"--charged particles blowing away from the sun. The resultant luminescent display, visible in most northern latitudes during the winter months, stretches from 40 miles above the Earth's surface in its lowest fringes to upwards of 600 miles above the Earth.

Though the sheer immensity of the glowing nocturnal spectacle makes it one of the most glorious sights in all of nature, the Aurora Borealis nonetheless fell far short of Tekken 3, Kenny said, due to its lack of interactive combat-mode features, substandard two-dimensional interface and undynamic, non-action-packed graphics...

To reads more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation cases are among the most difficult and complicated in family law. J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an expert on parental alienation. If you're a target parent, he can help you get back into your children's lives. Bone has worked as a custody evaluator and as a therapist and knows how to help the court find the truth. His services are available throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662 or by email by clicking here. www.jmbconsulting.org
 
  Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally experienced the heartbreak of divorce and family breakup, Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to advance the interests and concerns of fathers in domestic and family law litigation. Personal attention is given to clients to help them through a very difficult time in their lives. www.brettwmartin.com

His Side with Glenn Sacks Radio Commentary: Boston Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling & His Dad

My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles discusses Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling's bond with his late father. Schilling says that in every game he starts, he reserves a seat for his dad.

To listen to the commentary, click here.

To learn more, see my blog post Curt Schilling: 'My Father Was the Glue That Held My Family Together'.

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. KLAA hosts include Glenn Beck and Michael Savage.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com
Stop Parental Alienation--a terrible form of Child Abuse. Nine states have now officially recognized Parental Alienation Awareness Day. To learn more, go to Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com.
Think of Your Light Switch as an ATM Machine
Wouldn't you like to get paid every time you turn on the power?  Find out how you can get paid on thousands of electric bills each month by clicking here.

How to Win Shared Custody
Here are the litigation secrets to winning shared physical & legal custody from Boston trial lawyer  Nick Palermo, Esquire  who has won these cases for 24 years.  It costs $5,000 or more in legal fees to gain the knowledge and guidance contained in this $10 handbook--The Ten Essential Elements to Winning Joint Shared Physical and Legal Custody. www.TenEssentialElements.com


Sounds Like the People Who Run Our Child Support Enforcement Agencies...

"Idiots. Utter, unbelievable, jaw-dropping, unpardonable idiots. It is beyond farce, past comprehension, criminally irresponsible and beneath contempt.

"All those lectures from government and authorities about keeping our personal data safe; every statement ever made about the security of the proposed NHS database of everybody's personal medical records; each claim that the Children's Database containing all their personal details will somehow make our kids safer; and of course each and every promise about the safety of the national identity register -- exposed as quite, quite worthless. Because as soon as you put it on a computer, a bloke in an office can download it and stick it in an envelope and send your most personal details and mine and our children's across the country with a dodgy courier.

"It is shocking, it is risible, it is hilarious. Someone gave a disc containing confidential data about 25 million people to a bloke on a bike? And he lost it?"

In Second-class and lost in the post (London Times, 11/21/07), columnist Alice Miles details how the UK government lost two computer discs containing the personal information of all families in the UK with a child under 16. The disks contain Child Benefit data which includes the name, address, date of birth, National Insurance number and, where relevant, bank details of 25 million people.

I'm sure there will soon be a well-deserved, Night of the Long Knives-style purge of those connected to the scandal. Perhaps the axed employees can get jobs working for child support enforcement agencies--given the agencies' relentless bureaucratic bungling, they'd fit right in...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.
 

Expose False Allegations with Technology
Don't let the anti-male bias in criminal law victimize you. If you could be falsely accused by an angry woman, be prepared! Use technology to expose the real aggressor. DontMakeHerMad.com



Steven Carlson, the Custody Coach, has helped thousands of parents with child custody.

Steven Carlson's How to Win Child Custody
Are you contemplating divorce or separation but are unsure about how child custody will be determined or what you can expect from attorneys and the family court system? Knowing these things can help you win custody. Steven Carlson is the author of "How to Win Child Custody" and the founder of Child Custody Coach in Orange County, California. Don't get caught unprepared, download your copy of "How to Win Child Custody" today. If you need Steven's Custody Coach services, click here.

An Amazing Piece of Anti-Male Bigotry from the London Times

Background: The issue of Single Motherhood by Choice has been getting a good deal of press lately. For some examples, see There's no shame in going solo, says mum (Guardian Unlimited, UK, 11/4/07) and Knocking Yourself Up--The ongoing debate over going it alone (Newsweek, 11/5/07). To watch me debate Single Motherhood by Choice on Fox's nationally-syndicated Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, click here. To learn more about Single Motherhood by Choice, click here.

To learn more about what research says about the importance of fathers, see my co-authored columns Why Dads Matter (Houston Chronicle, 6/18/06) and Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls Tells an Important Truth About African-American Fathers (Los Angeles Watts Times, 6/14/07).

Carol Sarler's new column Of course children don't need fathers--What women miss most is the man-sized salary, not the hunter-gatherer himself (London Times, 11/21/07) is an amazing piece of bigotry. I'll leave most of the critique to my readers and will make only two points:

1) Sarler promotes the myth that fathers only matter as wallets, writing:

"Ask any single mother what she most misses about having a man and her answer will be a man-sized salary; it is the absence of that, rather than of the man himself, that makes children go off the rails."

As I've noted many times, research shows that children in single mother families do suffer because of a lower income, but they also suffer from not having a father, regardless of income. Research amply demonstrates that, even when adjusted for income, the rates of juvenile crime, school dropouts, youth drug abuse and teen pregnancy are tightly correlated with fatherlessness. What Sarler and her co-thinkers refuse to understand is that male parenting, while different from female parenting, is equally important for children.

2) Sarler vastly understates the role of fathers in children's lives historically. Apparently the fact that men had to be away from their families in order to provide for them and fight in wars disqualifies them from being considered real parents.

Thanks to George, a U.K. reader, for sending me the article.

Of course children don't need fathers--What women miss most is the man-sized salary, not the hunter-gatherer himself
Carol Sarler
London Times, 11/21/07

Ruth Deech was in sprightly flow on the Today programme on Monday morning: "It is an issue of principle," the former chair of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority insisted, "that both sexes have a part to play in the bringing-up of children." Not that she was fighting a lonely corner. The proposal before the House of Lords this week -- that not only should IVF clinics be relieved of their obligation to ensure that there are fathers for the babies they create, but that lesbians be able to register their partner's name as co-parent -- has outraged many vocal opponents.

Such a change in the law, says Iain Duncan Smith, would "drive the final nail into the coffin of the traditional family". Because? "Research shows," says Baroness Deech (she didn't say which research), "that there is a distinct contribution to the upbringing of children made by fathers." Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, in a letter to this newspaper, placed a father within "the natural rights of the child", while the commentator Melanie Phillips is adamant: "What we know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that children need their fathers."

Really? Why? What for? And when did anybody last even ask? It might be very nice indeed for a child to have a dad around the house -- provided, naturally, that he's the proper kind: the devoted, sober, gentle giant much given to manly rites of passage like the proud purchase of a brace of season tickets to Arsenal. But nice is not the same as need and certainly not as "rights"; further, if the hands-on presence of a father were actually so imperative, our species would have died out in the primordial swamp.

Hunter-gatherers didn't sit around fashioning nappies out of hemp; they were off and away, garnering the means of survival -- a function that, by the way, remains the most useful role for a father. Ask any single mother what she most misses about having a man and her answer will be a man-sized salary; it is the absence of that, rather than of the man himself, that makes children go off the rails...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick Palermo is a shared custody advocate who believes that divorced dads are parents, not visitors. The Law Offices of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and committed trial law firm which has wor