The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children
The American Coalition for Fathers and
Children is dedicated to creating a
family law system which promotes equal
rights for all parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or
visit them on the web at
www.acfc.org.
The Business of Love
50% of 1st marriages fail, the rate
of marriage has declined 48% in 40 years,
single households now outnumber married
households...if there ever was a time
for a radical, new approach to
marriage, it's NOW.
The Business of Love, by
Dr. John Curtis, an organizational development
consultant and former marriage counselor,
is the first book to show how to take
the same "best practices" that build
successful businesses and apply them
to an intimate relationship. Learn more
at
www.TheBusinessofLove.org.
Help for Los Angeles/Orange County Dads--Because
They're Your Kids, Too
If you're a dad facing a divorce or
separation and you need quality legal
representation in Los Angeles or Orange
County, the Law Office of David Stone
can help. Remember, they're your kids,
too.
www.help4dad.com
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My Hero Vindicated Yet Again...
Heroic English fatherhood protester David
Chick (aka "Spiderman") has been acquitted
yet again--it's been three strikes you're
out for the English legal system. In my column
In Defense of Spiderman (Cybercast
News Service, 11/11/03) I wrote:
"The mayor of London compares him to Osama
bin Laden. He's been dubbed a 'menace' holding
a city for 'ransom,' as well as a lunatic and
an extremist.
"What has 36 year-old David Chick done to
arouse such anger? He loves his little daughter,
from whom he's been forcibly separated, and
he had the courage to do something about it.
"The now world famous Englishman recently ended
his traffic stopping, six day, one man protest
atop a 150 foot high crane near the Tower Bridge
in London. Dressed as Spiderman because he is
his two year-old daughter's favorite comic book
character, Chick says his daughter's mother
has not allowed him to see his girl for eight
months and has tried to alienate her from him...
"According to Carol Plummer, Chick's sister,
'David would never harm his daughter or Jo [the
ex-girlfriend]. He doesn't want custody of his
daughter, he just wants to see her. But Jo is
making him suffer by depriving him of seeing
his daughter, who is his life'...
"Chick says:
"'[My daughter] is the most precious thing in
my world. I was there for the scans when she
was still in the womb, I was there for her birth.
I fed her, bathed her, got up in the night with
her, cuddled her when she cried.'
"Now I'm just another statistic--another dad
who has no part in his daughter's life. For
me, it is a living bereavement.'
"Today fathers in England, America and most
of the Western world stand upon a foundation
of sand, knowing that our loved ones can be
ripped away from us and there is often little
we can do about it. We invest our lives in the
children we love and tell them that we will
always be there for them. But in the back of
our minds we can't help but think of a question
which Spiderman no doubt considered before he
began his ascent up that crane hanging over
Tower Bridge: will we be allowed to?"
Chick's efforts captured the public's imagination,
and he came in second in the Evening Standard
London Personality of the Year contest, and
was the runner-up Political Personality of the
Year on a major English television station.
At his trial Chick showed that he had been
to court 25 times and spent the equivalent of
$30,000 in unsuccessful attempts to get English
courts to enforce his visitation rights. He
was acquitted by an English
jury, some of whom were reportedly moved to
tears by his testimony. Strike one.
In September 2004, Chick struck again, climbing
the
London Eye, an enormous 450-foot-high ferris
wheel on the banks of the River Thames. Chick
spent 18 hours there--one hour for every month
that had passed since he had been able to see
his little daughter. Nearly 20,000 people were
prevented from visiting the attraction because
the police closed it down during the protest.
Popular still, a London jury again acquitted
Chick of causing a public nuisance. Strike two.
In 2004 Chick was convicted of harassment
because he and his ex-sister-in-law had some
angry text mail exchanges. Chick was angry that
after the woman divorced his brother she prevented
his three nephews from contact with him, even
though they had been very close. I don't blame
David for being annoyed, but in the end it's
always the parents' decision, good or bad.
Chick says the charge was concocted by the
police as a way of preventing him from continuing
his protests--the bail conditions would have
prevented Chick from protesting at the Labour
Party Conference of 2004. Chick's conviction
was just overturned on appeal. Strike three.
Read the full article on Chick from the U.K.
newspaper The Argus at
Fathers' rights protester cleared (11/2/06).
Chick's heroics won him something,
though not as much as they should have. Chick
now sees his daughter on regular visitation.
That's progress, but it's a sad indicator of
how bad our system is. Chick had to repeatedly
risk his life and risk prison just to get less
than what every fit parent should have automatically
upon divorce or separation--substantially equal
physical time with one's child.
Earlier this year Chick sent
me a "picture of my little princess and I for
you to see how we're getting on." To see the
picture,
click here. Chick's daughter looks very
happy, and she's almost as beautiful as mine...
To learn more about Chick, see his website
www.SpidermanDad.com.
Fathers' Rights Legal Help
If you need help with divorce,
child custody, child support,
alimony and visitation issues,
The Law Offices of Jeffery M.
Leving, Ltd. is one of the
only law firms in the country
focused almost exclusively on
fathers' rights in divorce.
Leving did heroic work on the
Elian Gonzalez case, helping
reunite Elian with his father.
He also co-authored Illinois'
Joint Custody Law, and was named
one of "America's Best Lawyers"
by Forbes Radio. Leving is the
author of
Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting
and Fair Advice for Every Father
Involved in a Custody Dispute.
Call today for an initial consultation
(312) 807-3990 or visit us on
the web at
www.dadsrights.com.
Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource Center
is a division of
Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc.
(FER), located in Dallas, Texas,
with offices in both Dallas
and Houston. In existence for
over three decades, it has services
and resources for dads nationwide
and is one of the largest and
most active fathers' rights
organizations in the U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
Has Your Career Been Impacted
by Custody Issues?
After empowering people's careers
for over 20 years, I was duly
initiated into family law just
like you--through a 30 month,
$520,000 custody suit. I learned
that a solid home-based business
could be the best option, allowing
one to shake the financial shackles
while still experiencing a "no
limits" career. More than ever,
our kids now need a free and
available parent. Be there for
them...and for yourself. Darrell
W. Gurney,
www.CEOinShorts.com.
Do You and Your Kids Go Camping?
The WoodGas Camp Stove burns
almost any fuel nature provides--including
twigs, pine cones or any plant
based fuel--and provides the
cleanest heat in even the remotest
area. It's light and compact
and it burns for long cooking
sessions--great for camping,
backpacking, or s'mores anywhere.
Developed by a scientist with
30+ years experience in biomass
energy, it generates the heat
of a normal kitchen stove, and
is great for emergency preparedness.
www.woodgas-stove.com.
To read Glenn Sacks' experience
with the cooking stove and his
son, click
here.
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John Murtari Update
Thanks to efforts by shared parenting activists
Jane Spies and Teri Stoddard, the John Murtari
story is being covered by several New York State
newspapers and television statements. Murtari
says he fell behind on his child support because
the court imputed an income to him based on
a job he no longer has, and he has had to absorb
the travel expenses to see his son, who was
moved 2,000 miles away. A recent Associated
Press article on Murtari says:"An inmate
who has been fasting for more than 100 days
to protest his sentence for failing to pay child
support will be featured in a documentary.
"John Murtari, 50, is serving six months at
the Justice Center jail and has not eaten since
he was incarcerated July 31. On Thursday, Angelo
Lobo, a San Diego-based producer, interviewed
Murtari for a documentary on people who have
been affected by family court decisions and
are advocating for reform.
"Murtari is given breakfast drinks through a
feeding tube inserted Aug. 10 and his weight
is stable, Sgt. Joe Powlina said.
"Murtari owes more than $60,000 to his ex-wife.
He has said he can't afford to pay because the
support was calculated using an income he no
longer has. He is the founder of AKidsRight.org,
which criticizes the child support system."
To watch a jailhouse interview with Murtari
conducted by News 10 in Syracuse, click
here.
As I've noted before, I do have some disagreements
with Murtari; however, I tremendously respect
his courage, as well as his courteous manner
and fighting spirit. I wish we had many more
John Murtaris.
In his TV interview Murtari says he hopes
his son will see that "Dad did that and people
paid attention and it was a good thing, right?
You don't have to be angry, you don't have to
hurt somebody to get your point across."
He's right.
Finally What Child Support Payers
Need
Child Support obligors face
a stacked deck when squaring
off against CS Enforcement's
army of lawyers and agents,
all pitted against some beleaguered
father who's working 50 hours
a week to pay his child support
and support his family. The
burden of proving compliance
with court-ordered support falls
on the obligor, not the custodial
parent or the enforcement agencies.
Very often fathers are forced
to pay money they don't really
owe, or are saddled with fake
arrearages and the concomitant
interest and penalties.
Since the state provides
a ton of free assistance to
custodial parents, fathers need
quality, affordable representation
for these battles.
Child Support Liberation's Child
Support Audits and Record Management
Program helps obligors challenge
arrears by producing professional,
top-quality self-audits which
include all the necessary records
in the proper form.
CSARMP then conducts quarterly
audits that will alert obligors
to overcharges. In addition,
they will maintain ongoing records
of obligations, payments and
interest.
CSARMP costs only $13 a
month ($38 for the first month
only) and can be cancelled with
only 30 days notice. To learn
more or to sign up, click
here and
here. If you have any questions,
write to Michael Kennedy of
Child Support Liberation
by clicking
here.
How to Win Shared Custody
If you are an active, engaged,
committed, dedicated, loving
parent facing a divorce, family
law attorney
Nicholas Palermo's The
Ten Essential Elements to Winning
Joint Shared Physical and Legal
Custody can help you protect
your relationship with your
children.
www.TenEssentialElements.com
Help for Colorado Dads
As someone who has personally
experienced the heartbreak of
divorce and family breakup,
Brett W. Martin, Esq. works
to advance the interests and
concerns of fathers in domestic
and family law litigation. Personal
attention is given to clients
to help them through a very
difficult time in their lives.
www.brettwmartin.com
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Child Support Enforcement
Demands Man Pay Ex-Wife Child Support for Child
He Has with New Wife
On many occasions I've discussed problems with
child support enforcement and their errors--see
my co-authored column
Memphis Commercial Appeal, Chest-Thumping
Sheriff Humiliate Hard Luck Noncustodial Parents
(Tennessee Tribune, 4/27/06), as well
as my enewsletter entries
Boy Mistakenly Threatened With Jail For Being
Deadbeat Dad and
I Couldn't Be Less Surprised.
According to the Detroit TV station WXYZ's news
report
Friend of the Court (11/10/06):
"It's a system designed to protect children
from the hardships of divorce, but one family
says Wayne County Friend of the Court made life
miserable instead.
"The Wayne County Friend of the Court is a place
with a history of botching simple cases and
turning them into a maddeningly confusing mess.
"No one knows that better than Ruth and Dale
Akers, who married 6 years ago and had a baby
named Dale IV.
"But then they got a notice from Friend of the
Court saying their son wasn't theirs. Instead,
it said, he belonged to Dale's ex-wife and Dale
owed child support.
"Bungling cases isn't anything new at Friend
of the Court. In recent years Action News has
repeatedly showed you how Friend of the Court
has accused honest men of being deadbeat dads
even when they had proof they were paying child
support or didn't owe a penny.
"Terrance Hale said Friend of the Court misspelled
his name and had him paying support for a newborn
named Marjae to a stranger named Toni Etters.
"'All they could tell me is this is your kid
because the computer says it's your kid,' he
said.
"Director of the state's office of child support
Marilyn Stephen says the program has improved
but admits problems linger with the state's
million dollar computer system.
"The state has been making similar excuses since
it first installed the system 3 years ago.
"'Every time you go in and touch something in
system, extensive testing is required to make
sure no ripple effect and change other calculations
resulting in problems,' said Stephen.
"But Ruth and Dale say there is no excuse for
what Friend of the Court has done to them.
"Records show Dale has faithfully paid his ex-wife
child support for three children they've had
together. But two years ago, the child support
computer system started making life miserable.
"This year alone in a four week stretch Dale
got three notices; the first said he owed about
$700 a month, the second said he owed $849,
and the last one said he owed more than $1,300.
"And then the most baffling mistake of all,
asking Dale to pay his ex-wife for a son he
had with his current wife.
"But the state and Friend of the Court haven't
even been able to fix that, instead saying what
they've said for years, 'we're working on it'."
If you're a California child support obligor
with this type of problem, write to me about
it by clicking
here. Thanks to
Jane Spies
of the National
Family Justice Association for the news
tip.
Feminist Blogger Needs to Check That
One...
As I've mentioned
before, I'm a frequent target of feminist bloggers.
For a few examples, click
here,
here,
here,
here and
here. I ignore 99.9% of it, but occasionally
there's something of note. Last week one of
my readers sent me
this blog post by blogger Red State Feminist.
Red State Feminist, who focuses on family law
issues, writes:
"Glenn
Sacks and other Fathers Rights groups have aggressively
pushed 'shared-parenting' legislation, (mandatory
joint custody in all situations)."
I think
she needs to check that one. Even a cursory
examination of my columns on shared parenting
quickly reveal that I do not support "mandatory
joint custody in all situations." For example,
in
HB 5267 Will Help Michigan's Children of Divorce
(Lansing State Journal, 5/28/06) I wrote:
"Both Domestic Violence Escape and NOW claim
that the bill will put abused women in harm's
way. According to DOVE, HB 5267 'sends a clear
message to battered women and children that
the 'rights' of a batterer take precedence over
their safety and wellbeing.' Yet under HB
5267 only fit parents are eligible for joint
custody--battered mothers should and would receive
sole custody."
In
A330 Would Help New York's Children of Divorce
(Albany Times Union, 3/28/06) I wrote:
"NY NOW and others are legitimately concerned
about protecting divorcing women who have been
victims of domestic violence. However, A330's
presumption of joint custody only applies to
fit parents--abused women would receive sole
custody."
In
Louisiana's HB 315 Says One Parent is Better
Than Two (Shreveport Times, 5/20/06)
I wrote:
"Current Louisiana law states 'To the extent
it is feasible and in the best interest of the
child, physical custody of the children should
be shared equally.' This is reasonable--it presumes
that as long as both parents are fit and
there are no extenuating circumstances, they
should both share in parenting their children.
HB 315 weakens the law's wise preference for
two parents instead of one. Under the bill all
that children receive is a vaguely defined 'as
frequent and continuing contact as is feasible
with each parent.' However, research establishes
that shared custody is what's best for kids."
I have a hard time seeing how anyone could
honestly state that I advocate "mandatory joint
custody in all situations."
Red State Feminist also writes that I am
"notoriously misogynist" in my "rhetoric." Many
times I've challenged critics to cite a single
instance of this in my columns, radio appearances
and enewsletters, but no one ever takes me up
on it. When I've debated misguided women's advocates
on the radio and TV and they throw out the "misogynist"
label, I always smile inside, knowing that they
just surrendered. As I always say, "A misogynist
is a man who is winning an argument with a feminist."
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Another Fan
As supportive as Red State Feminist is of my work,
a recent letter writer was even more helpful. Crystal
writes:
"Mr. Sacks,
"You are some piece of work...I am an unemployed mother
of 3 kids and one granddaughter. My issue however is
only with the father of one of my children. My other
kids have different fathers...my son who is 8 years
old has a father that has been to court with me so many
times I cannot even begin to count. He has disobeyed
every court order put upon him. He is over $14,000 in
arrears and he has once again, in less than 2 years,
after I spent a great deal of money for an attorney,
stop paying me. How many times am I suppose to allow
this? Well no more. He has not paid me since June and
he has been ordered to pay me $300 a month a drop in
the bucket compared to what he makes. I am out again
over $1,200 in June. Is this the kind of father you
advocated? Then you sir can and will by the grace of
God GO TO HELL.
"Your stories mean nothing to me as most fathers get
the children and either run, allowing the wife to never
see them again or they are child abusers. Wake up and
smell the devastation you have caused! May you rot in
hell for the work you do!
"P.S. I am a college educated mother who knows more
about raising children in my baby finger than you will
ever know."
Interesting too how Crystal assumes that I have no idea
how to care for my children. Actually, I've been my
children's primary caregiver for the past 8+ years,
and was a stay-at-home dad for the first three years
of my daughter's life. I guess since I'm a man I can't
possibly know how to raise children...
How to Stop a Dirty Divorce
Many fathers are very naive when they walk
into family court, and the results can be disastrous.
Family Law Attorney A.J. Comparetto's
Ultimate Guide to Stopping a Dirty Divorce
teaches you the Dirty Divorce tricks before
they are played on you. It's a series of cassettes
and videos which teaches you what judges really
want to hear from you in court, how to keep
your words from being twisted by attorneys,
and how to keep your kids from being caught
in the middle.
www.divorceproblems.com.
Concerned about Financial Issues in Your Divorce?
If you're concerned about financial issues in
your divorce, contact
Jim DiGabriele of DiGabriele, McNulty &
Co by email
here or at 973-243-2600.
Los Angeles Dads--Free Legal Consultation
on Your Case
If you are involved in a divorce, domestic violence,
paternity, child custody or support case in
the greater Los Angeles area, call
Stephen A. Gershman to schedule your
FREE initial one hour consultation at (888)
295-1756 or (818) 990-6505. Gershman is certified
as a Specialist in Family Law by the Board of
Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California.
He is an experienced attorney, over 25 years,
who will competently and aggressively
defend you against unjust domestic violence
restraining orders or unfair financial obligations.
When Parental Alienation or custody is an issue,
he will help you protect your relationship with
your kids.
www.losangelesfamilylawyer.com
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And Now for the Other Side...I wouldn't
want anyone to get the impression from
"Feminist Blogger
Needs to Check That One" and "Another
Fan" that I'm saying that all virtue is with
us and all vice with the feminists. As I've
noted many times, our side has just as many
idiots and lunatics as the feminist side does.
For the sake of balance, I'll reprint below
excerpts from a men's rights blog and a men's
rights activist's letter I recently received.
Glenn Sacks, 'Pink Pansy'?
Blogger Bob Allen, a self-described
"cyber libertarian and advocate for the basic
human rights of men," writes:
"Pink Pansies are racing
to condemn Darren Mack [Note: I had written
of Mack, who is charged with stabbing his wife
and shooting a Nevada family court judge, in
Thomas Jefferson Murdered Women? and others--GS].
When Darren Mack counter attacked against evil
Judge Weller, many men on the Internet publicly
applauded.
"But the self-proclaimed
leaders of MEN kowtowed to the gun thug mentality
and condemned Mack. Columnist Glenn Sacks immediately
condemned Mack for his bravery in the face of
the enemies of men and demanded that other men
do likewise. In a second column Sacks repeats
his condemnation. see Sacks column. Sorry Glenn,
you lead MEN by figuring out where we are going
and getting there first. You don't lead men
by sniveling at the crotches of feminist gun
thugs and left wing Satanists in black robes....
"The Men's movement is
alive and well. The real MEN's movement began
and has grown by MEN who don't listen to the
apologists, female diverters, and counterfeit
leaders who's goal is to appease feminist injustice.
The MEN's movement isn't going to listen to
these milquetoast feminists who pretend to be
part of us. Their rush to condemn a hero of
men shows their true color, pussy pink."
Glenn Sacks 'Panders to Vile Perversions'?
Mike McDermott, a self-described "Men's Civil
Rights Advocate," didn't like my comment in
last week's enewsletter:
"The recent election glaringly reflected
the weakness of our movement--our issues simply
weren't a significant part of the dialogue on
any level. No, opposing same sex marriage...doesn't
speak to our issues, though some of my readers
think it does."
McDermott responds:
"I have read your recent list of laments,
and still find it difficult to believe that
you consider yourself the leader of any sort
of 'movement' - given the fact you are so out
of touch with the reality of the Men who you
would allegedly represent...if freedom from
mandatory pandering to the sick hatreds and
viler perversions that make up the Radical Gender
Feminist / Homosex political agenda is not one
of 'our' issues - particularly in the form of
amendments supporting heterosexual marriage,
then you are not part of the 'our' majority
that so clearly has passed these laws across
the nation.
"Which leads me to question just what sort of
a 'movement' you are trying to lead - and why
do you shun potential allies because they take
such logical positions as refusing to place
members of the Coprophile Cult of Feces Focused
Homo-Anal Perversions in places of trust in
the Boy Scouts? 'OUR' Movement? Yeah, Lead On
- Oh Myopic Visionary."
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Steven Carlson's
How to Win Child Custody
Are you contemplating divorce or separation
but are unsure about how child custody
will be determined or what you can expect
from attorneys and the family court
system? Knowing these things can help
you win custody. Steven Carlson is known
nationally as The Custody Coach™, and
has helped thousands of parents with
child custody and custody evaluation.
He is the author of "How
to Win Child Custody" and the founder
of Child Custody Coach in Orange County,
California. Don't get caught unprepared,
download your copy of "How
to Win Child Custody" today.
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a dedicated and
committed trial law firm which has worked
to make shared custody for all fit parents
the law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Expose False Allegations with Technology
Don't let the anti-male bias in criminal
law victimize you. If you could be falsely
accused by an angry woman, be prepared!
Use technology to expose the real aggressor.
DontMakeHerMad.com
New Jersey Divorce and Family Law
New Jersey family law attorney David
Perry Davis, Esq. can help you through
your divorce. In Pasqua v. Council
(2006) Davis successfully challenged
New Jersey's unconstitutional practice
of failing to appoint attorneys for
indigent child support obligors at enforcement
hearings where they face incarceration.
As a result of this suit, trial courts
must apply the same standard used when
a defendant requests a public defender
in a criminal matter.
www.dpdlaw.com
Without Honor
Has the family court system failed you?
Without Honor is the true expose
of one man's journey in the Rancho Cucamonga,
California Family Law court system.
It chronicles the destruction of a man's
life at the hands of unethical attorneys
and judges, who carry out their operations
under the guise of equitable, established
law and the facade of respectability.
Order
Without Honor by clicking
here.
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Wisdom of Our Fathers
As I mentioned after my co-authored column
America's Father Hunger (World Net Daily,
10/13/06) came out, a new feature on my enewsletter
for the near future is going to be an excerpt from
Wisdom of Our Fathers. In honor of Mike McDermott,
this week's excerpt is "The Announcement" from Stephen
Westman of Chicago, Illinois about his father, Gary
Westman:
"Coming out to my dad was one of the most difficult
experiences of my life, as it is for most young gay
men. After all, our dads represent all things masculine,
strong, and 'normal'--words not commonly associated
with the gay community.
"My announcement was not exactly
a textbook example of how it should be done. Note to
closeted gays: Don't tell your dad during the ten o'clock
news, right before he's going to bed.
"Despite my poor timing, my dad
responded as many dads do. He cried all night. The next
morning, he watched me pass in the living room, my head
and shoulders slung low and my eyes focused on the floor
beneath me. I was feeling the utter shame of the grave
disappointment I had caused him.
"By the fourth time our paths crossed,
he had seen enough. He grabbed my shoulders, pulled
them back, and said, 'Look me in the eye.' I refused.
Again he said, 'Stephen, look me in the eye.' This time
I did. With tears rolling down his face, he looked right
at me and said, 'I love you Stephen. I don't care what
you are. I just want my boys to be happy.' Then he hugged
me, just like he did the day before, when I was straight.
"That's all I ever wanted and needed--to
know I would still be loved. Five years later, my relationship
with my dad has never been stronger."
Column: Protect Deployed Parents' Rights
My recent co-authored column
Protect Deployed Parents' Rights (Tucson Citizen,
11/9/06, Trenton Times, 11/11/06, Macon Telegraph,
11/11/06), discusses the way divorced or separated military
parents are often pushed out of their children's lives
because the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act of 2003
does not adequately protect their parental rights in
family court. The column discusses some legislative
progress being made in this area, and outlines what
further action is needed.
In the Trenton Times version of the piece, family
law attorney Jeff Leving and I discussed the case of
lieutenant Scott Keenan. We wrote:
"In the recent Mercer County, New Jersey case Grother
v. Keenan, lieutenant Scott Keenan, an intelligence
officer in the Naval Reserves, deployed overseas for
three weeks around September 11 as part of the government's
extra security measures. Because of his deployment,
Keenan wasn't able to exercise all of his allotted parenting
time with his elementary school-age boys. Ignoring Keenan's
special circumstances, Superior Court Judge F. Lee Forrester
permanently reduced his parenting time by 20%."
Keenan is being represented by New Jersey family law
attorney
David Perry Davis, Esq., who does good work helping
fathers protect their relationships with their children.
We'll keep you updated on the case as it progresses.
We also discussed the McNeilly and Ellis cases:
"In other cases...deployed servicemembers permanently
lose custody because they 'abandoned' their children
by serving. In one widely-reported Michigan case, National
Guardsman Joe McNeilly of Grand Ledge lost custody of
his 10-year-old son after serving in Iraq for 15 months.
Before deploying, McNeilly agreed to cede temporary
full custody to his son's mother. Upon his return, however,
the court refused to restore the shared custody arrangement
McNeilly and his son enjoyed before his deployment,
citing McNeilly's absence.
"Because more women are serving in the Armed Forces,
this problem is no longer limited to military fathers.
For example, in the Regina Ellis case, KMBC TV in Kansas
City reports that Ellis lost custody of her son to her
ex-husband after she spent a year serving in Iraq, and
can now only see her son every other weekend."
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Tucson
Citizen regarding
Service members' parental rights protections long overdue
(11/9/06), click
here. To write a Letter to the Editor of the
Macon Telegraph regarding
Protect deployed parents' rights (11/11/06), click
here. To write a Letter to the Editor of the
Trenton Times regarding Protect deployed parents'
rights (11/11/06), click
here. If your letter is published, let me know and
I will link to it from a future enewsletter.
Progress on the Military Parents Issue
In the column we also
discussed some progress that is being made, particularly
HB 5100 signed by Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm
in December and SB 1082, which California Governor Arnold
Schwarzenegger signed into law last September. Both
bills help protect military parents from being mistreated
in family court while they are serving.
SB 1082 was sponsored
by the
California Alliance for Families and Children, which
has done excellent work in Sacramento over the past
few years. I have worked with the CAFC on
SB 1082,
SB 730, SB 1482,
AB 1307 and
AB 2051. To see a detailed list of the CAFC's accomplishments,
click
here and
here.
Lisa Scott Launches RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law Attorney
Lisa Scott has launched
www.RealFamilyLaw.com to expose the truth
about what is happening in our family law system.
Lisa, the all-time leader in appearances on
His Side with Glenn Sacks, says that
she was "tired of having her stuff rejected
by elitist bar publications and politically-correct
newspapers" and decided to start her own website.
www.RealFamilyLaw.com
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock
has experience fighting for noncustodial parents
against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her
holistic approach to divorce gets results
for her clients while avoiding the scorched
earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally
and financially devastated.
www.Lady4Justice.com
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To learn more, click
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here. FFI products come with a 100% money
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|
Election 2006 Reflects Weakness of Our Movement
The recent election glaringly reflected the weakness
of our movement--our issues simply weren't a significant
part of the dialogue on any level. No, opposing same
sex marriage and immigrants doesn't speak to our issues,
though some of my readers think it does. Our issues
are, centrally, our family law system's failure to protect
children's right to a relationship with both parents
after a divorce or separation. They also include: anti-male
domestic violence laws and policies, including our courts'
rubber stamping of restraining orders; reform of our
nightmarish child support system, particularly enforcement-related
abuses; the denigration of fatherhood and the decline
of the two-parent family; and numerous others. If anybody
could find these issues on the radar screen in this
election, you've got much sharper vision than I do.
North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative Defeated
As many of you know, the North Dakota Shared Parenting
Initiative was defeated 57-43. The
American Coalition for Fathers and Children, which
sponsored the Initiative,
issued a statement in which ACFC Executive Director
Mike McCormick makes several worthy points. Mitchell
Sanderson of the North Dakota Coalition for Families
and Children worked extremely hard for the Initiative,
as did McCormick and many others.
From the beginning I have had some doubts and disagreements
over this Initiative, centrally the decision to include
child support reform. Several of you who read the two
newspaper columns I co-authored on the issue,
North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative Helps Women,
Too (Grand Forks Herald, 9/24/06) and
North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative Will Help Children
of Divorce (Grand Forks Herald, 7/18/06),
have noted that I did not mention the NDSPI's child
support provisions. One said "you write as if the child
support reform in the NDSPI doesn't exist." Guilty as
charged, probably because I wished it didn't
exist. The central issue is protecting children's right
to have a relationship with both parents after divorce
or separation, so that's what I focused on. Also, others
such as ACFC president Stephen Baskerville, wrote columns
on the child support issue--see Stephen's co-authored
column
How HHS Bullies North Dakota Citizens (Human
Events, 8/17/06).
The child support provision muddied the issue and
gave our opponents something to attack us with. Our
opponents took this hole and ran a truck through it.
The approach taken by Fathers & Families in Massachusetts
in 2004 was better--their ballot question kept the issue
narrowed to shared parenting, and
they won a resounding victory.
(Some of you may have noticed that when I've done
campaigns, such as our
Campaign Against 'Boys are Stupid' Products, our
Campaign Against Anti-Father Verizon Commercial
and our
Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the
Silence--all three of which were successful--I've
been careful to keep our demands as simple and narrowly
focused as possible. These are different than a ballot
initiative, of course, but I believe the same principle
applies).
There's another important question to ask about the
NDSPI, a question to which our movement does not devote
significant attention--if we had won in North Dakota,
would we have been able to defend our victory? People
often have the mentality that if we can get an initiative
or law passed, that's it, we won, we can go home. This
mentality was reflected in the attempts some made last
year to get a California Shared Parenting Initiative
on the ballot, and was one of the reasons why I did
not support those attempts. If the NDSPI had passed,
there would have been immediate attempts to whittle
away at it, both from the judiciary and the legislature.
Yes, the ballot initiatives remain law for a certain
period of time, but there are many ways to undermine
shared parenting. To defend the NDSPI we would have
needed a well-funded organization in North Dakota with
an effective lobbying arm and significant popular support
and presence.
During this election the NDCFC/ACFC certainly angered
the right people--a coalition of child support officials,
bureaucrats, divorce attorneys and misguided women's
advocates came together to form the North Dakota Concerned
Citizens for Children's Rights Committee to ensure the
measure's defeat. Stephen Baskerville often writes about
what he sees as racketeering-type alliances within the
divorce industry. I see these views as overdrawn and
excessively conspiratorial, and I remain unrepentant.
Nevertheless, I acknowledge that the NDCCRC is a good
example of Stephen's views--the events surrounding the
NDSPI are a Baskervillian dystopia come to life.
The NDCCRC launched a well-financed campaign against
the Initiative. My readers know that I try to be polite,
but to call the NDCCRC's claims "falsehoods" would be
putting it very mildly--their ads were filled outrageous
claims, claims which the NDCCRC's members themselves
do not believe for a minute.
This commercial was particularly outrageous. It
read:
"Vote 'No' on Measure #3. This innocent-sounding
proposal is not in the best interest of our children.
It has never been adopted in any other state; we don't
want to use our kids as guinea pigs. It will create
chaos in the lives of children of divorce and separation,
will dismantle the current child support system, and
will coerce parents to split custody 50/50. With kids
changing schools every six months, no sports, no friends,
no consistency, no consideration in the best interest
of the child. It's simple--vote 'No' on Measure #3.
Sponsored by the Concerned Citizens for Children's Rights
Committee."
Help for Seattle Fathers
The Law Offices of O. Yale Lewis III
is a one-person law firm that focuses
on customer care. Mr. Lewis can help
you identify and focus on the outcome
that you want and implement the steps
necessary to get there.
www.yalelewislaw.com.
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps dads
in Los Angeles, the Bay Area and Santa
Cruz. Local chapters sponsor free weekly
co-parenting classes, individual mentoring
for fathers and much more.
www.divorcedfathers.com.
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and happy
marriage? If you've been checking out
advice columns or seeing a therapist,
you may have been looking in the wrong
place. Despite all the advances in brain
technology, and all of that we have
learned about developmental psychology--men
and women are given the same advice
about solving problems. But when we
ask men what works for them, we hear
a different story.
www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com
|
|
A Friend of Our Movement LosesIowa state legislator
Danny Carroll, the most articulate spokesman for shared
parenting in Iowa, a state which has made substantial
progress in protecting children's right to maintain
a relationship with both parents after a divorce, lost
Tuesday. In September Carroll appeared in PBS's film
Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse, which PBS
commissioned as a result of our
Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the
Silence (October 18, 2005 - December
20, 2005). In
PBS Follows Through on Commitment to Air Balanced Program
I wrote:
"In the film Iowa state legislator Danny Carroll
said something we hear all too rarely. Carroll never
knew his father. However, he did not make the standard
assumption that because dad wasn't there he must be
at fault or have 'abandoned' the family. Instead he
explained that he didn't really know why his dad wasn't
there, and speculated that if there had been a presumption
for shared parenting when he was a child, perhaps he
would have had his father in his life. He is one of
the main legislative supporters of the Iowa shared parenting
law, which the film discussed."
An Opponent of Our Movement Wins
Some of you may recall Kentucky judge
D. Michael "Mickey'' Foellger, who in 2004 made headlines
by telling men behind on their child support obligations
that they had to either have vasectomies or go to jail.
I slammed Foellger on several radio shows and in my
co-authored column
It's Child Support Guidelines that Need Surgery, Not
'Deadbeat Dads' (Kentucky Post, Cincinnati Post,
5/12/04). Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I
wrote:
"Foellger insists he's not forcing sterilization
on anybody, since the offenders in his court can choose
30 days in jail instead. However, most men who fall
behind on child support have led law-abiding lives and
legitimately fear for their safety and mental stability
if they are incarcerated.
"For example, in McCracken County earlier
this year a man slit his throat in the courtroom after
being sentenced to two years in jail for being $7,000
behind on child support. According to newspaper accounts,
the man pleaded to the judge 'Don't put me in jail,
I'm going to kill myself' before taking out a razor
blade.
"By threatening to jail the men, Foellger
is in effect impelling them to get sterilized. In fact,
Foellger says that all but one of the men offered his
'deal' have chosen vasectomy over jail.
"This represents a serious human rights
violation. Kentucky's child support guidelines need
to be overhauled to ensure that support obligations
are in line with obligors' ability to pay. In
addition, the system needs to be more flexible and responsive,
so men who are down on their luck don't become criminalized.
And while the public may be legitimately annoyed with
these 'deadbeats,' nobody should be jailed or sterilized
for the 'crime' of being poor."
In May of 2006 Foellger was disciplined
for his courtroom bullying (see the Associated Press'
Northern Kentucky judge suspended for lack of patience,
temper, 5/30/06). According to the
Kentucky Post:
"In judicial races, only Family Court
Judge D. Michael 'Mickey' Foellger faced opposition.
But Foellger - despite his suspension this summer by
the Supreme Court - handily defeated challenger Rick
Jarvis by a 2-to-1 margin."
A dad-bashing judge who was suspended
for his conduct wins re-election handily anyway.
Experience the Book that Dares to Scream
the Inner Thoughts of Men
Drawing upon encounters with both foreign and
domestic women, American writer Thomas Ellis
offers up
The Rantings of a Single Male: Losing Patience
with Feminism, Political Correctness... and
Basically Everything--a collection
of incredible but true stories, satire, and
social commentary. Running the gamut from hilarious
to tragic, these rants employ dark humor to
illuminate the many absurdities of our gender
culture. Ellis is unapologetic and unrestrained
in his handling of women's history, women's
spirituality, gender norming, implants, affirmative
action, rape hysteria, pornography, homophobia,
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language. Now in its third printing. On sale
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from
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|
Divorced Mother Can't Keep State From Forcing Her to
Get Child Support
I received an interesting letter recently which speaks
volumes to the way child support policies and collections
are driven by federal incentive and reimbursement money.
The mother, whom we'll call "Linda," apparently makes
a good living and doesn't need financial support, and
respects and protects her son's love and need for his
father. She writes:
"I am divorced from my ex-husband and have custody
of our seven year-old son. Because I believe that
there is a reasonable amount of child support and then
there is an absurd amount, I must make a trip to the
courthouse every single month and have a non-monetary
receipt notarized so that the state will butt out of
our business and not go after my ex for the absurd amount
that they want him to pay. I have never asked for their
assistance in ordering/collecting yet they butt in anyways.
"I live in Omaha, Nebraska and every lawyer I've
spoken to won't touch us as they say that no judge would
revoke a child support order just because I want them
to.
"I'm tired of my ex getting harassed and I'm tired
of these trips to the courthouse. I don't give a damn
about the support, as my ex's relationship with my son
is what's most important to me, not money. I chose to
have my son and I chose to have the divorce, therefore
it is my responsibility to provide for him. Any suggestions
on getting the state off our backs would be appreciated."
I discussed some of the problems with federal subsidies
for child support enforcement in my co-authored column
Federal Child Support Enforcement Cuts Will Hurt Bureaucrats,
not Children (Las Vegas Review-Journal, Riverside
Press-Enterprise, 12/16/05). We wrote:
"It is true that federal figures show that over $20
billion in child support is collected nationwide yearly,
and that only $5 billion is spent on enforcement. However,
the vast majority of the funds collected are not done
through enforcement tactics--they're simply the payments
already being made by law-abiding noncustodial parents.
These payments will continue to be made regardless of
the cuts. The myth that child support enforcement is
a bargain was created by incorrectly counterposing total
collections with expenditures on enforcement.
"In reality, much if not most child support enforcement
funds are frittered away in misguided attempts to collect
artificially inflated paper arrearages from low-income
men who couldn't possibly pay them...
"Child support enforcement agencies are notorious
for their abusive tactics towards such men, as well
as their mind-numbing incompetence, waste, and the incessant
computer errors which lead to the persecution of innocent
citizens.
"For too long child support policies have been determined
by politics instead of common sense; the mantra of 'help
women and children' has allowed large-scale abuses and
waste to go unchallenged. The proposed cuts won't interfere
with efforts to collect legitimate child support, but
they will save taxpayers $15.8 billion over the next
decade. They will also force some discipline and restraint
onto an area of government which sorely needs it."
|
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Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange
counties and you're facing a divorce, separation,
or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help.
www.OddLaw.net
Legal Help for Fathers in New Jersey
If you're a New Jersey father facing a divorce
or separation, the law firm of
Pitman, Pitman, Mindas, Grossman & Lee can
help.
PitmanLaw.com
|
This is RefreshingI've written many times
about our society's strong tendency to blame men whenever
marriages break up. For example, in my co-authored column
The Rise in 'Gray Divorce': It's Always Hubby's Fault
(Houston Chronicle, 2/19/06), family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"Media commentators agree on one thing--when the
husband divorces his wife, it's hubby's fault. When
the wife divorces her husband, well, it's hubby's fault
too."
That's why I found
this story refreshing. As many of you know, Paul
McCartney has been going through a divorce from Heather
Mills. Mills recently made numerous terrible--and...um,
unlikely--accusations against McCartney. Life Style
Extra UK writes:
"Sir Paul McCartney was given a standing ovation while
he dined in New York by well-wishers supporting him
in his divorce from Heather Mills.
"The former Beatles legend had been enjoying a quiet
meal at Italian eatery Il Gattopardo but was left shocked
when the whole restaurant erupted into rapturous applause
as he stood up to leave.
"One diner showed his support for Paul by shouting:
'We are with you all the way Paul!'
"Paul stopped his car in New Jersey the following day
for an unplanned press conference.
"He said: 'Look, I am doing just fine. I just need some
time to myself.'"
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
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