Texas Reporter Looking for Fathers Who Are Supposed to Receive Child Support

I was recently contacted by a Texas television reporter who's looking for fathers who fit the following profile:

1) You are a father with primary or sole custody who is supposed to receive child support. (The reporter wants to talk to you if you receive the CS or if you don't).
2) You are in Texas, preferably in the greater Houston area

If this is you, please send me your name, phone number, and a brief (100 words max) description of yourself by clicking here.

Pajamas Media advice columnist Dr. Helen Smith interviewed me recently on the subject of the Violence Against Women Act, the way our legal system handles domestic violence, and related issues. The interview is Fighting for Men's Rights (Pajamas Media, 10/8/07). Readers can comment on their experiences with domestic violence laws by clicking here.

Dr. Helen Smith also co-hosts The Glenn and Helen Show with blogger king Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit.com. Smith is a psychologist specializing in forensic issues who often has interesting things to say about gender issues and divorce. She can be reached at askdrhelen@hotmail.com.

During the interview, I explained:

"One problem with VAWA is the way that it helps fund domestic violence advocacy groups' political agenda. Whenever we try to push forward legislation to help resolve some of the gross inequities of the family system and to

Background: The taxpayer-funded domestic violence industry vilifies men and promotes unfair and misleading stereotypes about domestic violence. One example is this amazing series of domestic violence public service ads from HomeFront, a Canadian domestic violence agency.

To learn more and to watch the ad "Restaurant," the other ad in the series, click here.

The ad "Boardroom" is another example of the way the domestic violence industry views and portrays men. To watch the ad, click here.

The tagline to the ads is: "You wouldn't get away with it here--you shouldn't get away with it at home." The ads were produced in 2003 by HomeFront, a Canadian domestic violence agency.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children The American Coalition for Fathers and Children is dedicated to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce. Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237 or visit them on the web at www.acfc.org.

Background: I've previously discussed an amazing series of domestic violence public service ads from HomeFront, a Canadian domestic violence agency, which demonstrate the way the domestic violence industry vilifies men. To learn more and to watch the ads, click here and here.

The following ad, produced by film students at the Madison Area Technical College Visual Communications Program in Madison, Wisconsin, was modeled on the HomeFront series. To watch the ad, click here.

It's interesting that the ad portrays a man and only a man abusing a child, when the vast majority of child abuse is committed by mothers, not fathers.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families' latest News Digest.

Fathers not short-changed by B.C. Adoption Act, minister says (The Canadian Press, 10-2-07)

Parents to have money taken away from child support payments (Informationliberation.com, 10-2-07)

Dancers lead fight for fathers' rights (The Morning Sun, 10-3-07)

Televangelist's Husband Denies Abuse (Associated Press, 10-3-7)

Waterford Police Pursuing Mother in Abduction Case (CBS 6 Albany, 10-3-07)

Family judges campaign to take the bitterness and costs out of divorce (The Times, 10-4-07)

TV chef must sell seafront restaurant in 3.6m GBP divorce (Daily Mail, 10-6-07)

Home at last; Dad brings abducted tot home (The Record, 10-7-07)

A loan that helps couples go solo (Times Online, 10-8-07)

Rise of collaborative divorce is not for everyone (The Washington Times, 10-8-07)

A Legal Advocate for Fathers in Los Angeles & Ventura Counties The Law Offices of Adam Michael Sacks, Esq., handles cases of all sizes with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to helping fathers protect themselves in a divorce. Don't assume anything and don't sign anything--call Adam Sacks, Esq. at 1-800-340-7320, or write him at adam@adamlawyer.com. www.adamlawyer.com (No relation)

"There is also substantial evidence that Izquierdo's little girl is being alienated from him..."According to Miguel Firpi, the girl's psychologist, the girl 'does not want to go to Cuba...she grinds her teeth at night.' Firpi says the girl tore up a new toy her father had given her. When the girl was angry after a visit with her father, caseworker Maria Zamora said the girl explained that 'she only had one father, and it's [the foster caregiver].'

In Controversial 'Elian Gonzalez II' Case, Cuban Father Should Be Allowed to Take His Daughter Back to Cuba

By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks

Following an appeals court order, details of a year-long custody battle very reminiscent of the Elian Gonzalez case have now been made public. The battle over a 4-year-old Cuban immigrant girl pits her Cuban father, Rafael Izquierdo, against foster father Joe Cubas, a well-known Cuban-American sports agent, and his wife Maria. Just as Elian's father Juan Gonzalez faced numerous unfair hurdles to get his son back, Izquierdo is being manhandled by the child welfare system, in part because of the system's anti-father bias.

In 2005, the girl's mother, with whom Izquierdo had a brief relationship, brought the girl to Miami from Cuba. The Florida Department of Children & Families removed the girl from her mother's custody in 2006, after an investigation found that the woman's mental illness rendered her an unfit parent. She was placed with the Cubas family, and Izquierdo came to the US to bring his daughter home.

Izquierdo, a fisherman and farmer from Cabaiguan, Cuba, has spent the last two months performing the numerous tasks DCF has demanded in order to be reunited with his daughter. Several child welfare experts have asserted that these tasks may be designed to make Izquierdo fail, so DCF can follow through on its stated goal of permanently placing the girl with the foster family.

Much of what Izquierdo is going through reflects well-documented problems with the child welfare system...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Fathers & Families: Advocacy for the Child-Father Bond Fathers & Families is a non-profit organization advocating for the right of every child to have two parents. Called by some a "fathers' rights organization," Fathers & Families is made up of men and women who believe that fathers are an essential part of a child's life and that divorce or separation should not change this. www.FathersandFamilies.org  FALSELY ACCUSED IN TEXAS? Domestic Violence. Child Sexual Assault. Child Protective Services Defense. Contact the Law Office of Stuckle & Ferguson www.PaulStuckle.com / falseaccusations@stuckle-ferguson.com

Shared parenting advocate Stuart Meltzer, Esq. (pictured) is running for Nassau County Family Court Judge in the November 6 election. Meltzer says:

"The best interests of children are being forgotten in Family Court. Parents are being kept in court unnecessarily and decisions are oftentimes unfair to our children. I am the only truly independent candidate. If you want a judge who owes his allegiance to our families and children, not a particular party, you should vote for me.

"As a result of my over 18 years experience in the Family, Matrimonial and Criminal Courts in the New York area, I have witnessed a steady decline in Equal Protection and Due Process rights afforded to litigants. Most disturbing is the fact that those people who have the smallest voice and least amount of power in our society, our children, are losing most. Thus, I view as most important, based in law and forensic study, our children's right to liberal access to both a father and mother."

Meltzer is looking for volunteers in the greater New York City area, as well as donors. Contact his campaign at smeltzer@equalparentingparty.com or by phone at 718-532-4300 or 917 698 8784. Donations can be sent to The Friends Of Stuart Meltzer Campaign,  32 Court St., Suite 1408, Brooklyn, NY 11201.

To learn more about Meltzer's campaign, click here.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Parenting Plan Calendar Software Shared Ground (R) is an easy-to-use software program designed for divorced parents to track their parenting plan schedules over many years. Do-it-yourself or let us build your approved parenting plan into a multi-year calendar so that you can print, share, or modify the calendar later. Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and mediators can generate equitable parenting plans, which is especially useful for parents seeking fair division of their children's time. FREE ASSISTANCE TO OUR CLIENTS- $49.95 one-time charge, FREE TRIAL & MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE. Click here for more information. Jeff Leving's New Book--Divorce Wars Jeffery M. Leving, one of America's most prominent divorce lawyers, has written a new book on how to win any divorce fairly, even when your spouse brings out the heavy artillery. Divorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics, Preemptive Strikes, and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets Ugly provides essential advice on everything from picking the right lawyer and devising a winning settlement strategy to getting the most from your day in court and dealing with an ex-spouse. Divorce Wars is available here. Help, Resources for Dads The National Fathers' Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Houston. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers' rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org

Background: Dads of Michigan, the American Coalition for Fathers and Children's Michigan affiliate, the Family Rights Coalition, and other Michigan shared parenting advocates are fighting to pass HB 4564, a shared parenting bill. They have the votes to pass the bill but are fighting to get it out of committee, where it is bottled up.

In May, the Michigan National Organization for Women put out an Action Alert opposing HB 4564. I discussed NOW's opposition to the bill and laid out the case for shared parenting in my column HB 5267 Will Help Michigan's Children of Divorce (Lansing State Journal, 5/28/06), which I co-authored with ACFC Executive Director Mike McCormick. (HB 5267 was the 2006 bill which is identical to HB 4564).

The Editorial Board of the Oakland Press, one of Michigan's larger newspapers, just came out with a well-reasoned editorial endorsing HB 4564. Jay A. Fedewa, PE, Executive Director of the Family Rights Coalition, is asking that the bill's supporters email Allan Adler, the editorial page editor of the Oakland Press, to commend the paper and express support for the bill. His email address is allan.adler@oakpress.com. Please remember to be polite and positive.

The Oakland Press editorial is Equal parenting bill worth passing (Oakland Press, 10/6/07).

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Help for Midwest Fathers Cordell & Cordell is one of the largest domestic relations firms for men in the Midwest, representing fathers in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Georgia. Men who come to Cordell & Cordell know that their interests and the interests of their children will be aggressively championed. www.cordellcordell.com Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody Joseph E. Cordell's Civil War - A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody  gives fathers clear, easy-to-understand tips on how to achieve the best results possible in a divorce. Comprehensive chapters explain every step of the divorce process, the meaning of legal terms, how courts determine custody, and how to maximize chances of victory at every stage. Cordell is the founder of Cordell & Cordell.

As I mentioned in my post The World's Loneliest Man (Part I), recently I've been reading Billy Bean's autobiography, Going the Other Way: Lessons from a life in and out of Major League Baseball. Bean played major league baseball from 1987 through 1995, and is the only living former major league baseball player to publicly "come out" as a homosexual.

Throughout Bean's time in baseball he was closeted, and in fact not even any of his friends or his own mother and father knew that he was gay. Bean was a marginal player, and he lived in fear that if he revealed (or if someone discovered) his homosexuality, it would have killed his baseball career.

This is the second excerpt from the book I've posted on my blog. In the first one, Bean has finally acknowledged his homosexuality to himself, and has fallen in love with Sam, with whom he secretly lives. In the excerpt below, Sam dies of AIDS and Bean is sent to the minor leagues.

Excerpted from Going the Other Way: Lessons from a life in and out of Major League Baseball

After I spent several agonizing hours pacing and fretting, Sam was still deteriorating, I again demanded that the staff "do something." The medical technician brought over a syringe, placing it in his IV tube.

"This will allow him to rest more comfortably," he said.

But Sam was calm, eerily so; I was the one who needed sedation. About fifteen minutes later, at about 6 A.M., Sam and I were alone inside the curtain when his breathing became labored. Then he bucked up and down. A beeper sounded.

The medical staff finally leapt into action, Slamming his chest with electric panels and forcing a tube down his throat.

"What the hell is going on?" Now I was screaming.

"He's in cardiac arrest," the nurse said.

"What the hell does that mean?"

I knew Sam was gone when I saw the vacant look in his eyes. They kept trying to resuscitate him, but as time went on, their pace slowed. After they pronounced him dead, I sat in a chair next to him for what seemed like an eternity. I hadn't even had an opportunity to say good-bye. The "doctor" had failed to take any decisive medical action before it was too late. He said something about an infection, or a ruptured pancreas, mumbled condolences, and went back to his rounds as if this kind of thing happened every day.

It was the only time in my life I wasn't overjoyed to be in the starting lineup. Bochy had me hitting second and playing right. They say some guys are good enough to play in their sleep. I'm not sure that phrase ever applied to me, but that's what the game felt like. I drifted in and out of a nightmare, waking only when the ball came hurtling toward me at what seemed like the speed of light. Though I'm not sure I really focused on many pitches, I managed a bloop single to left and a four-pitch walk. I handled perhaps five putouts in the field without an error.

It was a relief to be toweling off after the game. Then one of our clubhouse kids said Bochy "wants to see you." It is the most hated line in sports. Every player knows exactly what it means. Given the events of the last twelve hours, I just couldn't believe it was happening to me...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

The myth of the "deadbeat dad" is pervasive in our society--in some circles, "divorced dad" or "noncustodial dad" are practically synonymous with "deadbeat dad." One malignant outgrowth of this can be seen when divorced fathers try to install financial responsibility in their children by linking school performance or behavior to money provided for cars or consumer items. The letter below in a column from Annie's Mailbox last year is a good example.

"Dear Annie: I have a 16-year-old son whom I love very much. I have been divorced from his mother for eight years, remarried for the last six. 'Brendan' lives with his mother in the same city, so I see him a lot.

"We had a good relationship until recently. I told Brendan I would give him a car and pay for the insurance if he kept his grades up. He agreed. His first report card, he got a D in one subject. The car stayed at my house. Four weeks later, he got another D on his mid-term.

"The day after he received his grades, Brendan gave my wife and me a very impressive presentation, with charts and everything. He promised to work hard, do extra credit and show us his test scores every week. We caved and let him have the car. Well, he had an excuse every week why he didn't have his test scores. When his grades came, he had two Ds.

"I told Brendan to bring back the car, and he said I needed to talk to his mom, my ex. Naturally, she took his side and wanted the car to stay at her house, and didn't care that Brendan and I had an agreement. The car is now back at my place, but Brendan is angry with me, and my ex is probably going to buy him a car.

"I want my son to learn that there are consequences for being irresponsible. Am I wrong? -- Worried Dad

"Dear Dad: You are not wrong. A car is a privilege, not a right, no matter what some kids think. You kept your end of the bargain, and if his mother buys him a Porsche, let it be HER problem. Your ex is teaching Brendan that he doesn't have to work for anything and that it's OK to renege on agreements. We hope you will keep trying to teach him otherwise, Dad."

One can almost hear 16 year-old Brendan fuming to his friends that his dad is a cheapskate. I wonder who helped teach him to think that way about his dad?

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Online Dating Rights Online Dating Rights opposes the new federal International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, which requires Americans who seek to meet foreigners via the internet to have a criminal background check and an intrusive report about intimate details of one's life BEFORE any communication--the first time in US history that such checks have been required. www.onlinedatingrights.com SAMSONLAW--Divorce Lawyers for Michigan Men & Fathers If you're a Michigan man faced with divorce, you need SAMSONLAW on your side--SAMSONLAW defends men. Smart Advocacy Means Stopping Oppression Now. INeedSamson.com My Sara My Sara--How the Adoption Assistance Agency stole a baby girl away from her loving family and put her up for adoption, for a nice profit. To learn more about this incredible story, go to www.my-sara.com

In my blog post Naomi Margaret Mitchison, Scottish Novelist and Poet, on Her Father, I quoted Mitchison's reminiscences of her father and how safe and loved she felt while "curled up on his lap." I wrote:

"I think all of us hope our daughters will have the same type of memories of us."

A feminist reader with the handle "Kishmir" responded, explaining how she thought our daughters will remember us:

"I doubt that your daughters will have the same kinds of memories of most of you as fathers. Your daughters will have memories of how you destroyed their relationships with their mothers, abuse their mothers, and believe women are inferior to men. Your daughters will grow up to believe that all men hate them as much as you do. Even worse, your daughters will come to believe that all men are as nasty, malicious and screwed up as you are..."

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Happily Un-married! Living Together & Loving It! Living together is becoming widely accepted among all ages. Happily Un-married! is the first book to take a serious & non-judgmental look at helping these couples improve the fitness of their relationships. The rate of cohabitation is skyrocketing--10 million couples, 40% of whom have children. Happily Un-married! helps unmarried couples stabilize and strengthen their relationships. www.cohabitating.org Help for Georgia Dads Georgia attorney Edwin M. Saginar has 36 years of experience in family law and criminal defense, including domestic violence. He has seen many spouses falsely accuse their significant others of family violence, and knows how to defend your rights. www.edwinsaginar.com Need Affordable Help with Child Support and Custody Issues? Legal Services Centers of America provides fathers with affordable help in family law matters such as child support and child custody. Based in Colorado, they handle cases throughout the US. Call them at (719) 219-3561or write them at lscalegal@earthlink.net. www.legalservicecentersofamerica.com

"Alexandra 'Alex' Scott was 4 years old in 2000 when she was diagnosed with cancer. Looking for a way to help her doctors help her, the little girl set up a lemonade stand on her front lawn with her older brother Patrick.

"Every weekend she would open it for business, telling her customers that every dime she made was going to childhood cancer research. Her story made the national news, and pretty soon Alex's Lemonade Stands began popping up all over the country.

"She died in 2004 at age 8 but left behind an army of kids keeping open her lemonade stands to fight cancer. So far, the nonprofit Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation has raised more than $12 million for childhood cancer research. A cup of lemonade at a time."--columnist Dennis McCarthy

Such a sad story--I can't imagine anything worse than having to watch your little daughter die of cancer.

My daughter's really into "Alex's Lemonade Stands," and the picture above is actually of her YMCA lemonade stand. She was absent that day and is not pictured. A few weeks ago the little girl on the left, who's several years younger than my daughter, walked up to me when I brought my daughter to YMCA and proudly announced to me, "Your daughter is MY best friend."

A nice column about the trend by Dennis McCarthy is below.

Kids' lemonade a real cancer fighter
By Dennis McCarthy
Los Angeles Daily News, 8/20/07

The day-care kids stood outside Granada Elementary School on Monday morning hawking their product like it was pure gold.

"Lemonade," they shouted. "Fifty cents a cup, two for a dollar."

The people driving by smiled, but nobody stopped. A few drivers waved or gave the kids the thumbs-up sign, but they all kept on going.

Too bad. They missed a great cup of lemonade. The best I've had this summer. Most important, too.

Every dime these kids make from selling lemonade outside 15 different North Valley Family YMCA day-care centers this summer goes to help find a cure for childhood cancer.

They might be too young to understand exactly what all that entails, but they do know this much...

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Alicia M. Crowe's Real Dads Stand Up! Alicia M. Crowe's new book Real Dads Stand Up! explains what every single father should know about child support, rights and custody. Learn how to exercise your legal rights, avoid 'baby mama drama', navigate the child support system, gain and maintain access to your children, and settle issues without going to trial. www.realdadsstandup.com Fathers' Rights Legal Help If you need help with divorce, child custody, child support, alimony and visitation issues, The Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving, Ltd. is one of the only law firms in the country focused almost exclusively on fathers' rights in divorce. Leving did heroic work on the Elian Gonzalez case, helping reunite Elian with his father. He also co-authored Illinois' Joint Custody Law, and was named one of "America's Best Lawyers" by Forbes Radio. Leving is the author of Fathers' Rights: Hard Hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute. Call today for an initial consultation (312) 807-3990 or visit us on the web at www.dadsrights.com.

Naomi Margaret Mitchison, Scottish Novelist and Poet, on Her Father "Of course there were areas of safety; nothing could get at me if I curled up on my father's lap, holding onto his ear...All about him was safe."--Naomi Margaret Mitchison, Scottish Novelist and Poet I think all of us hope our daughters will have the same type of memories of us... To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Help for Los Angeles/Ventura County Dads Certified Family Law Specialist Peter M. Walzer was one of the key figures in our successful legislative struggle to preserve the LaMusga move-away decision. As Chair of the State Bar of California Family Law Section Executive Committee, Walzer lobbied the state legislature to improve California laws on child support and child custody. He's an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Fellow who has authored numerous articles on custody issues, business valuation in marital dissolutions and spousal and child support.  www.California-Divorce.com The LaMusga Company The LaMusga Company provides customized solutions to assist individuals and business owners in reaching their financial goals. The LaMusga Company is committed to helping you accomplish your long-term financial objectives. LaMusgaCo.com Judging the Success of a Movement by How Well Its Beneficiaries Remember It I believe that to some degree one can measure the success of a movement by how much the movement's beneficiaries remember it--the less they remember, the more successful the movement was. To cite a minor example,  today's highly-paid baseball players have little union consciousness or awareness of how it is they came to be so highly-paid. The labor strikes of 1972 and 1981--in which poorly-paid, exploited players risked their careers and livelihoods to defeat management and win and/or defend key rights and benefits--are what gave the players their wealth. I doubt many current major leaguers today would even recognize Marvin Miller, the union leader who won those victories. This is not a product of the union's failures--it's a product of its successes--the players are so comfortable that they don't worry about those things much anymore. One could make similar point, to some degree, about the feminist movement. In the film clip below, a campus filmmaker interviews college women about "women's suffrage," and discovers that most have no idea what it is. To watch, click here. I suppose it should also be said that much of the fiercest opposition to women's suffrage came from women, some of whom considered politics a dirty business that would soil the morally superior female. It was not simply a matter of men refusing women the vote--the suffragists had many, many male supporters and many female opponents. Thanks to Daniel A., a reader, for sending me the story. To discuss this issue on my blog, click here. Dr. Warren Farrell's Shared Parenting Evidence Kit--What You Need to Win Shared Physical Custody Dr. Warren Farrell, a top expert on children of divorce now offers a complete evidence kit to help you win shared custody.  The DVDs, audio CD and electronic files summarize the best scientific research available collected over decades.  Scientific research has proven that children do far better with near equal time with both parents with minimal conditions.  This video set was developed to educate parents, judges, lawyers, psychologists and other divorce professionals. Most judges are doing exactly what is worst for children with sole-custody.  Submitted as evidence this will maximize your chances. Divorce Reform groups call(508) 381-1450 to use as fundraiser. www.BestInterestofChildren.org   Help for Michigan Dads Michigan family law attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock has experience fighting for noncustodial parents against Michigan's abusive FOC. Her holistic approach to divorce gets results for her clients while avoiding the scorched earth approach to law that leaves families emotionally and financially devastated. Lady4Justice.com

An Interview with Paternity Advocate Eric Johnson of RuDaddy (Part II) Background: Paternity Advocates Eric & Donna Johnson of RuDaddy provide affordable legal assistance to men who are paying child support for children who may not be theirs. Below is the second part of my interview with Eric Johnson about the world of paternity fraud. The first part can be seen here. Glenn: A man's ex-girlfriend told him that her baby is his, and he's been paying child support for the past year. The child is now 18 months old, and the man is starting to suspect that the child isn't his. He calls R U Daddy--what do you advise him to do?   Eric:  The first question one of our case administrators will ask is:  "Why do you suspect the child isn't yours?" We listen to find out what's going on in his life and whether he has made any decisions about how to go forward.   Based upon his opening conversation we would ask unplanned questions to develop a more detailed understanding and picture of his life circumstances. And then, depending on the answers and his intent, understanding of the situation and commitment, we proceed to a more in-depth chain of questions.  We continue with a series of prepared questions we ask to immediately begin building his testimony for him.   When we listen to him and converse or dialog developing his testimony, we piece together the information to build his case. What we have discovered is usually he is now wrestling with an intense emotional issue and just wants a qualified person to listen to him. He also wants to know if he is worried about nothing or facing a matter for serious consideration. "Will it just go away if I ignore it?  What do I do to put this to rest?"  He has more questions than answers and is looking for answers, something to make sense out of the nightmare he woke up in.   The man is seeking guidance and instruction on how to approach a very delicate issue in his life that is presently beyond his wildest imagination. He has put his heart and trust into this relationship and is now stunned and shocked with a vague and uneasy feeling that something isn't right... To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here. The Diary of a Patient Man--How a Male DV Victim Fought the System and Fought for His Child William Stoneking's The Diary of a Patient Man is the compelling and inspirational true story of a father's fight for his child against a violent ex-wife and a biased court system that tried to drive him away. Get it online or order your copy here. Are you or someone you love being abused? The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families in order to help survivors recover from the trauma of domestic violence. Contact them by clicking here. Update on the Melinda Smith Foster Care Case Background: The Melinda Smith/Thomas Smith Los Angeles foster care outrage is one of the most egregious child welfare injustices I've ever seen. In my co-authored column, Choosing Foster Parents over Fathers (San Diego Union-Tribune, 7/11/07), I explained: "In the heartbreaking Melinda Smith case, a father and daughter were needlessly separated by the foster care system for over a decade. Last week, Los Angeles County settled a lawsuit over the case for an undisclosed sum... "Smith was born to an unwed couple in 1988. Her father, Thomas Marion Smith, a former Marine and a decorated Vietnam War veteran, saw Melinda often and paid child support. When the girl was four, her mother abruptly moved without leaving a forwarding address. Two years later, Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services found that Melinda's mother was abusing her. Though the social worker for the case noted in the file that Thomas was the father, he was never contacted, and his then 6-year-old daughter was placed in the foster care system. "Thomas--whose fitness as a father was never impugned nor legally questioned--continued to receive and pay his child support bills. Authorities refused to disclose his daughter's whereabouts, and didn't even inform him that his daughter had been taken by the County. Smith employed private investigators and attorneys to try to find Melinda and secure visitation rights, but he eventually ran out of money. "Rather than allowing Smith to raise his own daughter, the system shuttled Melinda through seven different foster care placements. An understandably angry child, her outbursts led authorities to house her in a residential treatment center alongside older children convicted of criminal activity--when she was only seven years old. "Melinda says that during this period she was told that her father was a 'deadbeat dad' who had abandoned her. When Melinda was 16, she told an investigating social worker that the 'most important thing' for her was to find her dad. Moved by her story, the social worker began searching for Melinda's father--and found him in one day. In 2005, Thomas and Melinda were finally reunited." The terms of the settlement in this case are revealed in a recent Los Angeles Daily News article, and apparently Smith is going to receive $225,000 from Los Angeles County. I don't know much about how these settlements are done, but I'm surprised--Smith should be paid millions for what was done to his little daughter. I know it's comparing apples and oranges, but it seems particularly low in light of the millions that Los Angeles County had at one point agreed to pay former firefighter Tennie Pierce over a questionable racial harassment complaint. As part of their agreement with Smith, the County generously agreed to "forgive" Smith's fake child support debt, not one dime of which should he ever have been asked to pay. Moreover, much of the "debt" piled up after Smith and his daughter were already reunited, as the County still kept sending him child support bills. The Daily News article by Troy Anderson, who has done a good job in his pieces on this case, is below. Child-support case may be settled Father would get $225,000 from county By Troy Anderson 10/01/2007 A decorated Vietnam War veteran who spent more than a decade searching for his daughter would be paid $225,000 by the county, which mistakenly allowed him to pay child support for the girl although she was in foster care, under a settlement recommended Monday. The Los Angeles County Claims Board recommended the payment to settle a lawsuit filed by Thomas Marion Smith, who was never told that his young daughter had been taken away from his ex-wife and placed in foster care. The Board of Supervisors will vote on the settlement Oct. 16... To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

Are You the Target of Parental Alienation? Parental alienation cases are among the most difficult and complicated in family law. J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., is an expert on parental alienation. If you're a target parent, he can help you get back into your children's lives. Bone has worked as a custody evaluator and as a therapist and knows how to help the court find the truth. His services are available throughout the U.S. Dr. Bone can be reached by phone at (407) 645-0662 or by email by clicking here. www.jmbconsulting.org     Help for Colorado Dads As someone who has personally experienced the heartbreak of divorce and family breakup, Brett W. Martin, Esq. works to advance the interests and concerns of fathers in domestic and family law litigation. Personal attention is given to clients to help them through a very difficult time in their lives. www.brettwmartin.com

My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles discusses New York Yankee rookie phenom Joba Chamberlain, who was raised by a single father, Harlan Chamberlain, who was partially crippled with polio as a child and grew up in foster homes. Joba explains:

"If I can be half the man and half the father he was, I'll be very, very happy...[my father] was given what he was given and never batted an eye, never looked back."

To listen to the commentary, click here.

To learn more, see my blog post New Yankee Rookie Phenom Joba Chamberlain Was Raised By Disabled Single Father.

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. KLAA hosts include Glenn Beck and Michael Savage.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

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Divorced Dad Pays His Support for 13 Years, Breaks His Leg, Misses 3 Months of Work--and Goes to Jail?!

Television reporter Tina Stein (pictured) of WIFR in Rockford, Illinois did an excellent job on the child support piece below. The piece details the case of Ed Conley, an electrician who broke his leg, was out of work for three months, and who nearly went to jail for it. Conley's friends and relative came up with several thousand dollars to keep him out.

The case is typical of the way the child support system manufactures "deadbeat dads." Let's break it down:

1) Conley has a track record of 13 years of "mostly on-time payments." Then he breaks his leg and can't work.

2) He repeatedly tries to contact the child support agency to tell them and to get a downward modification, but can't get through to anybody. Reporter Stein tries this also, and confirms Conley's experience.

3) Ex-wife hires attorney to pursue Conley for the support she knows he shouldn't be asked to pay. Her attorney blames Conley, saying, "He could file motions to where they could have child support reduced because they don't have any income to pay for child support." Conley had tried to resolve the issue the best he could--his only other alternative would have been to hire an attorney, which he obviously could not afford to do.

4) State doesn't care, pursues him anyway, threatens him with jail, and only relents when his friends and relatives pay his child support for him.

This kind of outrage isn't unusual--I hear stories like this all day long. It's to Stein's credit that she pursued this story. I spoke with Tina last week and commended her--I suggest that readers send her a quick note to thank her--click here. Her story is below.

Child Support Concerns
Oct 1, 2007
Reporter: Tina Stein

A basketball injury didn't earn Ed Conley any sympathy from the state's Division of Child Support Enforcement, despite his 13-years of mostly on-time payments.

"There were breaks in my leg I have got 2 plates 19 screws in there. I didn't just sprain my ankle and want to stay off work," Conley says.

The electrician was off the job for three months and his ex-wife didn't get any of the 38-hundred dollars owed for those three months either.

"She hired an attorney and that attorney contacted me and basically said I had to pay in full what was owed right then, and sent papers wanting me to be sent to jail."

In Illinois, the Association for Children for Enforcement Support says nearly three billion dollars are owed in back child support. More than one in three cases are in collection, making us one of the worst states in the country. And while Conley promised to pay once he returned work, his ex-wife's attorney, Donald Ray says he should have come up with the money sooner.

"He could file motions to where they could have child support reduced because they don't have any income to pay for child support," says Attorney Ray.

Unfamiliar with what to do, Conley tried getting help through the child support hot line.

"Three different times I called that number and got put on hold for 20 minutes and then it says due to the high call volumes your call will now be dropped," Conley says.

I wanted to see if Conley was right. So I called and it took more than five minutes to speak to someone. And then I was transferred a half-dozen times before deciding to hang up.

To read more and to discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

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The writer Ambrose Bierce (1842 -- 1914?) had some interesting thoughts in his famous Devil's Dictionary.

ORPHAN, n.
A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude
DIPLOMACY, n.
The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
SAINT, n.
A dead sinner revised and edited.
CHILDHOOD, n.
The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
GRAPESHOT, n.
An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
BACCHUS, n.
A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
BACKBITE, v.t.
To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

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