"Hertz and Drexler fail to understand how powerfully children hunger for their fathers. For example, famed athlete Bo Jackson devoted the first chapter of his autobiography Bo Knows Bo not to his many achievements, but instead to the father he didn't have. Jackson's angry, unhappy childhood was defined by his father hunger. He explained that when he wanted something, 'I could beat on other kids and steal...[but] I couldn't steal a father. I couldn't steal a father's hug when I needed one.' Jackson saw his older brother go to a penal institution, feared he would end up there as well, and longed for the discipline and strong hand a father provides.

"In Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?, award-winning journalist Jonetta Rose Barras describes her fatherless childhood as 'one long, empty night.' After her parents broke up, she explains:

"'I missed him desperately...he made me feel loved; he made me feel wanted... sometimes I sat on a bench or on the curb, like a lost, homeless child. I waited for [dad] to drive through, recognize me, and take me with him. On the bus, I searched each man's features; I did not want mistakenly to pass him.'

"Hertz, Drexler and the mothers they interviewed are equally in the dark as to the immense benefits reaped by the children who do have fathers in their lives. MSNBC anchor Tim Russert wrote the book Big Russ and Me about his father in 2004, and says he soon received an "avalanche" of letters from men and women who wanted to tell him about their own dads. Russert's current bestseller Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons was drawn from those 60,000 letters. The letter writers remembered their fathers as strong, devoted, honorable--and central to their lives. What particularly struck Russert was the overwhelming outpouring of love from women towards their fathers.

"These sentiments wouldn't surprise Nobel-Prize winning novelist Toni Morrison. When asked how she became a great writer--what books she had read and what methods she had used--she replied:

"'That is not why I am a great writer. I am a great writer because when I was a little girl and walked into the room where my father was sitting, his eyes would light up. That is why I am a great writer. That is why. There isn't any other reason.'"

World Net Daily is one of the largest websites in the world--to write a Letter to the Editor regarding Are Single Mothers the 'New American Family?' (9/28/06), click on letters@worldnetdaily.com. If your letter is published, let me know and I will link to it from a future enewsletter. 

Readers Respond to Newsweek

Two weeks ago I alerted you to a new anti-father Newsweek article Fighting Over the Kids: Battered spouses take aim at a controversial custody strategy [aka Why Parents Who Batter Win Custody] (Newsweek, 9/25/06). The "controversial custody strategy" referred to Parental Alienation Syndrome. PAS occurs when one parent has turned his or her children against the other parent, destroying the loving bonds the children and the target parent once enjoyed. Opponents of fathers and the shared parenting movement often portray PAS as a nonexistent fraud used by abusive fathers to win shared or sole custody. Unfortunately Newsweek bought it.

I suggested you write to Newsweek by clicking here to dispute the article. The Sackson Horde is always reliable--within a day Newsweek had received several hundred letters from you, and part of Newsweek's system crashed, apparently from being overloaded.

Today Newsweek published four letters critical of the article--they can be seen here. One of my readers, Robert Ouriel of Los Angeles, had the first letter and said it perfectly:

"Sarah Childress's story on parental alienation syndrome did a grave disservice to the issue of co-parenting and to the children of divorce ("Fighting Over the Kids," Sept. 25). She misleadingly implies that PAS is merely a spurious strategy used by spousal abusers (usually men) to gain custody. To be sure, some alleged abusers disingenuously use PAS as a ploy to gain custody, just as some ex-spouses gain custody by falsely claiming abuse. Yet, as many divorced spouses of both sexes understand, parental alienation is a very real problem. And PAS is accepted by many family courts throughout the nation, thanks in part to the efforts of Dr. Richard Warshak and others. One of the most vexing problems of custody litigation is that regretfully, custody issues continue to exist in the shadow of gender politics, rather than more properly being focused on the best interests of our children. This problem will continue to plague children of divorce as long as we continue to pretend PAS doesn't exist."

Another of my readers, Jennifer Levin of Los Angeles, was also superb:

"I hear it everywhere--on playdates, at the park, at school with my children--the sound of mothers denigrating the way their husbands parent. While moms and dads are different, neither is more important than the other. But somehow it seems we feel more comfortable criticizing the fathers. NEWSWEEK sure did with such a one-sided article about parental alienation syndrome. Whenever I read articles like this or hear those mothers at school, I always wonder if they have sons. And if they do, what are they going to think about all this when their boys are on the receiving end of these bitter battles?

Another of my readers, David K. Anderson, who participated in our Campaign Against PBS's Father-Bashing Breaking the Silence, which also dealt with an attack on PAS, wrote:

"The sad reality is that even in a simple, accusation-free divorce, I still had to 'win' shared custody. It's also sad that my children will not be able to go to college because of the way the system drains the wallet. I suppose I could have rolled over and saved us all a bunch of money. The system lacks transparency, judges are not honorable and the attorneys see this as a job. Far too much time is spent on these 'extreme' cases. Even on a good day, with simple circumstances, the system fails our children."

Today Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting--a group which often has useful information on domestic violence-related issues--issued a press release which has additional details. In my original comments on the Newsweek piece (Newsweek Bashes Dads, 9/20) I wrote:

"The centerpiece of Childress' argument is that 'according to one 2004 survey in Massachusetts by Harvard's Jay Silverman, 54 percent of custody cases involving documented spousal abuse were decided in favor of the alleged batterers.' It would be interesting to know what Silverman's definition of 'documented' was, but there certainly was not a court finding of abuse, and false accusations of domestic violence are frequently employed to separate fathers from their children."

RADAR has some important information on this study. They explain:

"The study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, involved 39 women recruited as a non-representative, self-selected sample by the Battered Women's Testimony Project.

"The study clearly states that the report 'involved reliance on the self-report of participants.'...'It is important that these data be recognized as documentation of a set of issues based on reports of affected individuals (i.e., battered women referred to the project based on their dissatisfaction with family court outcomes or processes) rather than an attempt at definitive research into the prevalence and nature of the types of cases discussed.'"

"This study is a classic example of how opinion is transmogrified into science by federally-subsidized radical activists. It contains no evidence indicating that mothers are being treated unfairly by the courts."

Read the full RADAR press release here.
 

In recent weeks thousands of you have responded to my call to write California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in opposition to AB 2051, a bill which will perpetuate the state's harmful policy of excluding men and their children from receiving state-funded domestic violence services. Under AB 2051, only "battered women" are eligible for the shelters, hotel vouchers, counseling and legal services that state provides victims for domestic violence. Schwarzenegger signed the bill on September 30, the last day possible.

Sacramento lobbyist Michael Robinson and the California Alliance for Families and Children did heroic work on the bill over the past several months to try to make the bill gender neutral. Through his efforts many Republican legislators opposed the bill because of its exclusion of heterosexual men. Over the past two years Robinson has helped defeat several anti-father bills and helped pass SB 1082, a bill to help military parents. I very much suggest that anybody interested in furthering our movement's efforts donate to Michael and the CAFC by clicking here.

To learn more about the bill, see my co-authored columns Schwarzenegger Should Veto AB 2051 (Orange County Register, 9/20/06) and AB 2051 Moves California in Wrong Direction on Domestic Violence (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 6/1/06).

Robinson's Statement on AB 2051

Robinson and the CAFC released the following statement today:

"CAFC Executive Director and Legislative Advocate Michael Robinson spoke with the Governor's office regarding the signing of AB 2051 Cohn; Domestic Violence.

"While some may feel that the outcome of AB 2051 was a defeat, we do not.  As a result of the legislative fight CAFC waged on AB 2051, legislators and the Governor's staff told CAFC that for the first time they are better informed about the realities of DV. 

A Telling Omission?

Can you tell what's missing in President Bush's new National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2006: A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America?

Here's the text:

"Domestic violence has no place in our society, and we have a moral obligation to help prevent it. The terrible tragedies that result from it destroy lives and insult the dignity of women, men, and children. National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is an opportunity to underscore our commitment to bringing an end to violence in the home.

"A home should be a place of stability, comfort, and love. Domestic violence shatters this important foundation. My Administration is strongly committed to addressing domestic violence and helping those who have been victimized. In January, I was proud to sign legislation reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act. Since I announced the Family Justice Center Initiative in 2003, we have opened 11 Family Justice Centers across the country. These centers offer services to victims and their families, including legal advice, counseling, and support. In addition, we are continuing to work with faith-based and community organizations to provide training, expertise, and funding to help deliver hope and healing to those who need it most.

"During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and throughout the year, we are grateful for the advocates, counselors, and others who provide care to those affected by these acts of cruelty and for the law enforcement personnel and others who work to bring offenders to justice. We extend our compassion to the victims of domestic violence and urge them to seek assistance through local Family Justice Centers, faith-based and community organizations, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 800-799-SAFE. By working together, we can build an America where every home honors the value and dignity of its loved ones.

"NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 2006 as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I urge all Americans to reach out to victims and help end domestic violence.

"IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty ninth day of September, in the year of our Lord two thousand six, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-first."

What's missing? References specifically to women and only women as domestic violence victims. The president refers to "women, men, and children" and then only uses the genderless term "victim" afterwards.

By contrast, in 2003, for example, Bush placed all blame for domestic violence squarely on men, explaining that "women and children are facing dangers in this country, and they need strong allies." Bush praised the new "Stop Family Violence" stamp, which featured a portrait of a distraught woman, and then-Attorney General John Ashcroft and others appeared in television ads warning men and only men not to commit domestic violence.

Perhaps we're making progress.

A Hot Election Issue in Your State?

Is there a ballot initiative or a political race in your state which is significant for our movement? If there is, let me know by clicking here. Please provide links to the issue in question and be brief.

Sorry Honey--I Guess It's Over...

Usually when a marriage is over it's your spouse who tells you, but my wife told me nothing today but I learned my marriage is over anyway. Why? Because gay couples in my home state of California will now file taxes as if they were married. How do I know this spells the end of my marriage? Because Randy Thomasson and the Campaign for Children and Families inform us that in signing SB 1827, a tax bill, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has "put the last nail in the coffin for marriage between a man and a woman in California." Moreover, Schwarzenegger has "Terminated [the] Last Piece of Marriage."

I don't know how I'm going to break the news to my wife--I'm sure the fact that gays will be filing their taxes differently will have a devastating effect on our family. In fact, it seems quite likely that these tax changes will also lure my teenage son into the gay lifestyle. If Randy is correct, perhaps the only thing that's kept him from doing it so far was the tax disadvantage he knew he'd face one day...

Readers React to My Column on Women and Shared Parenting

The Grand Forks Herald printed several letters in response to my recent co-authored column Shared Parenting Initiative Helps Women, Too (Grand Forks Herald, 9/24/06). The column explains why the North Dakota Shared Parenting Initiative, which was just certified for the November ballot, is also helpful to mothers. I co-authored the column with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. The Initiative is sponsored by the ACFC's North Dakota affiliate. The letters can be seen at Parenting initiative: Pros and cons

"Nonabusive Men Don't Generate Custody Disputes"?

In "Nonabusive men don't generate custody disputes" one of the letter writers, Lainie Guthrie, wrote:

"Martha Burk, chair of the National Council of Women's Organizations, is dead wrong when she says that the current child-custody system is a 'harmful societal norm' ('Shared Parenting Initiative helps women, too,' Page 3D, Sept. 24).

"In situations where abuse is not and has never been an issue, good mothers are fine with shared parenting.

"But shared parenting is a major problem when abusers use it as a tactic to further punish his victim. Common sense needs to prevail, in that if a man is a good father and never abused his children or their mother, why would the mother be opposed to shared parenting? After all, the arrangement would be good for her children and would let her share the load and responsibility of parenting. The answer is: Such a mother would not be opposed.

"Normal, nonabusive men would not have to petition the court for shared parenting. I know of no mother who would see shared parenting as a tool to let her to pursue her own personal interests at the expense of her children.

"One has to question Burk's agenda and priorities."

Under the current system there are many reasons why women oppose shared parenting with decent fathers, including post-divorce anger and hurt, child support, move-away privileges, power, control, and the misguided belief many women share that women are better parents than men. For some women the biggest factor is a terminal case of vindictiveness, of which our courts so often act as enablers.

In another letter, Parenting initiative can benefit all, Jacqueline Stellone writes:

"I appreciate the publishing of Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks' well-written column ('Shared Parenting Initiative helps women, too,' Page 3D, Sept. 24).

"I believe the initiative will help all of society.

"Under the current system, those who are viewed as the primary caregiver to their children have little incentive to stay in a marriage and work out their difficulties. It is all too easy to walk out with cries of abuse and get substantial child support awards from the other parent.

"In contrast, the other parent rarely gets more than a few days of visitation each month, and sometimes none because he or she has been falsely accused of abuse.

"The cost to society for supporting this broken system is generations of children who have only one parent - children who repeat the pattern of behavior. This has got to stop, and shared parenting is a step in that direction.

"By leveling the playing field for parents, shared parenting will encourage them to take responsibility for how their actions affect their children and work on the problems in a less confrontational manner.

"Take children out of the middle of the parent wars. I hope the voters of North Dakota will lead the way for the nation by supporting the Shared Parenting Initiative this fall. I will be watching with hope in my heart."

I would quibble with Stellone's assertion about child support because I don't believe that the amount of child support most custodial mothers get after a divorce is high enough to be a big motive for the divorce. But she is absolutely correct that the system's sharp pro-mother/anti-father bias does remove incentives for women to stay in the marriage and work things out.

"An Eastpointe school teacher has sued his ex-wife for her false accusations to police that he sexually molested their son and her son.

"Jeffrey Edwards, 33, filed a lawsuit in Macomb Circuit Court on Friday, saying his former wife, Muingo Muthui-Edwards, slandered him and deliberately inflicted emotional distress on him by telling police and social service agencies here and in Pennsylvania that he molested the two boys, aged 3 and 6.

"Eastpointe police and social service officials in the two states have determined that the assaults never occurred and have cleared Edwards of any wrongdoing.

"Edwards told The Macomb Daily on Monday that he filed the lawsuit because of the toll the made-up accusations have taken on him.

"'I've spent countless hours and money defending my reputation,' Edwards said. 'This has been a nightmare, an atrocity.'

"The couple, whose divorce was finalized in April after 13 months of marriage, are mired in a custody battle over their son. Muthui-Edwards, who moved to northeast Pennsylvania to live near her parents after the divorce, also has another son from a prior relationship.

"Because of the false allegations and Muthui-Edwards being held in contempt of court twice for failing to appear, Edwards in April gained physical custody of the boy. Muthui-Edwards now has the same visitation that Edwards had, in a decision by Judge Antonio Viviano two weeks after the divorce was granted.

"Edwards believes his ex-wife fabricated the allegations to gain custody. In the lawsuit, he calls her statements 'malicious for the purpose of bringing (Edwards) into disrepute and subjecting him to criminal prosecution.'

"The allegations first arose shortly before a custody trial was to be held in front of Viviano. Muthui-Edwards started complaining to officials in both states and to Eastpointe police late last year that the two boys said they were abused. She claimed the boys told her that Edwards touched them inappropriately. The older child also was having nightmares, and the younger child was digressing in toilet training, she told authorities.

"But investigations that included interviews of the boys and Edwards turned up no evidence of abuse. An Eastpointe police report says: 'This case has been highly scrutinized by several layers of government and all have found no merit to these claims against Jeffrey Edwards.'

"She repeated the allegations in July, and another investigation finding no wrongdoing was concluded Aug. 14..."

Read the full article here. It's nice to see a dad fighting back against a false accuser. Let's hope she ends up having to write him a big check.

Beyond all the other horrors involved, she easily could have destroyed Edwards' teaching career. Earlier this year I appeared on Geraldo at Large to discuss this issue and the Florida case where a father attacked a teacher's aid who had been accused of inappropriately touching his teenage daughter. It turns out that the charges were fabricated. During the interview I told a couple of stories about things I saw when I was a teacher. One of them happened early in my career when a male administrator took a few of the new male high school teachers aside and told us the following story. (Note: in some schools administrators often teach a class or two):

"One time I was in my office and one of my students, an 11th grade girl, came to see me. She was upset about the bad grade she was getting in my class, and wanted me to change it.

"She grew increasingly demanding and ended up threatening me that she would make a charge against me if I didn't give her the grade.

"When I still refused, she stood up, tore her shirt, started screaming 'Help, Help, he's attacking me' and ran towards the door of the office. As she made for the door I saw 25 years of hard work and devotion to my students go down the drain.

"Miraculously, there happened to be a female teacher right outside the door who had been waiting to talk to me. When the girl opened the door the female teacher stood in her way and told her that she had heard everything. It saved my career and my livelihood."

I've covered the issue of false allegations in numerous columns and on the air. To learn more, see:

• Glenn's co-authored column Research Shows False Accusations of Rape Common (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 9/15/04, World Net Daily, 9/18/04)

• Glenn's co-authored column PBS Declares War on Dads (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 11/1/05, World Net Daily, 10/20/05)

• Glenn's co-authored column Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining Orders (Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06)

• Glenn's coverage of the Bridget Marks false allegations case--see Bridget Marks Ruling: It's OK to Coach Little Girls Into Saying They'd Been Molested (4/7/05)

• Glenn's radio commentary Homeless Man Framed on False Abuse Charge.

Concerned about Financial Issues in Your Divorce?
If you're concerned about financial issues in your divorce, contact Jim DiGabriele of DiGabriele, McNulty & Co by email here or at 973-243-2600.

Letters From a Deadbeat Dad
Have you ever been framed as a "deadbeat dad" while you were just trying to be a father? Have you ever been forced to pay child support while being denied your basic rights? Have you ever had to explain Parental Alienation Syndrome to your own child? Have you ever heard about fighting family law battles outside the law by following principles of non-violence--and winning? Read Letters From a Deadbeat Dad by Cosmo Monkhouse.

According to the U.K. Telegraph article Ex-Wife Who Made False Rape Claims Faces Prison (9/30/06):

"A woman who falsely cried rape against her former husband was facing jail yesterday after being convicted of perverting the course of justice.

"Sally Henderson, 40, a mother of two, described by the prosecution as a 'wicked liar', claimed Richard Cooke, 39, had repeatedly raped her during their year-long marriage.

"But police discovered her claims were almost identical to false allegations she had made five years earlier against a previous boyfriend, Mark Rowe, 42, Gloucester Crown Court heard.

"Lifting an order preventing her identification, Recorder David Lane, QC, said: 'The public has a right to know the identity of a person who makes such allegations and who seeks to use the system of justice for her own, unscrupulous ends.

"'These two men were put through the extreme anxiety of facing the most serious and most grave offences that can be brought against a man.'

"...Henderson reported the false rapes only after both men left her. Mr Cooke was held in a police cell for 36 hours following his arrest.

"Mr Cooke told the court: 'It was quite shocking to have three or four police officers arrest you, manhandle you and take you away for something you've never done...

"Lynne Matthews, prosecuting, said: 'Sally Henderson is a wicked liar. There is nothing more wicked that a woman can do against her husband or partner than to claim rape. But there is very little for a man to do other than say he didn't do it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and her claims were a tissue of lies.'"

Read the full article here.

I've discussed the problem of false marital rape claims previously, including in my co-authored column Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men (Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06). I was blasted severely in the feminist blogosphere for the column, but this UK case--two really, since Henderson had done the false accuser number on her previous boyfriend also--is an example of what can happen. In these cases the motive was apparently vindictive, but in the column I point out the tangible, post-divorce benefits false accusers can sometimes gain.
 

Congressional Candidate Takes Strong Stand for Noncustodial Parents' Rights
In 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate Michael Badnarik had a strong noncustodial parents' rights platform. Badnarik is clearly aware of and sensitive to the basic problems fathers today face, particularly the sole custody norm and the denigration of noncustodial parents to "second class parent" status. Badnarik is running for Congress in 2006--to learn more, go to www.badnarik.org.

The LaMusga Company
The LaMusga Company provides customized solutions to assist individuals and business owners in reaching their financial goals. The LaMusga Company is committed to helping you accomplish your long-term financial objectives. LaMusgaCo.com

Improve Your Health & Fitness Through Herbalife
Improve your nutritional well-being through Herbalife quality herbal nutrition products. Have more energy, lose weight and enjoy a healthier lifestyle through our all-natural products. Browse through Herbalife's catalog of health products here.

File Taxes Online with  Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your taxes, check your refund status, and have your return reviewed by an experienced tax professional--all online.

Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or Orange counties and you're facing a divorce, separation, or a child custody issue, the law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. www.OddLaw.net

Legal Help for Fathers in New Jersey
If you're a New Jersey father facing a divorce or separation, the law firm of Pitman, Pitman, Mindas, Grossman & Lee can help. PitmanLaw.com