Paid Political Advertisement--Election '06

Hello Fellow Divorced/Non-Custodial/Alienated Parents;

I'm Allen Hacker, campaign manager for Michael Badnarik, who is running for Congress. Michael understands and shares noncustodial parents' concerns. He is as outraged as anyone about how our government treats its people.

Of course the problem isn't just family court, or divorce court, or society's recent anti-family trend. The real problem is that people allow this stuff to happen. Month after month, year after year, we have failed to band together and send representatives to statehouses and Congress to put an end to its source: money.

Yes. Money. If the federal government wasn't reimbursing the states for undermining marriages, state caseworkers would be looking for new jobs instead of creating new cases, and a lot of families would stay together. Michael Badnarik's childhood is the life every child has a right to live, but fewer and fewer children ever see. That's just wrong!

Here's Michael himself to remind you what's been lost and tell you what he'll do about it:

"I was fortunate enough to have had an idyllic childhood. My father worked two, sometimes three jobs, just to clothe and feed my two brothers and me. Mom stayed home and cooked the best meals on the planet, and she was always there to help us with our homework, cheer for us at our little league games, and find something to fascinate us even about a passing butterfly. We spent most of our summer vacations camping as we toured the lower forty-eight.

"The only family potentially more perfect were the Nelsons of 'Ozzie and Harriet' fame. As an adult I realize that family life rarely achieves this level of perfection, however I am appalled that our government is so determined to make two-parent families a thing of the past. To refer to any Family Court proceeding as a kangaroo court is an insult to Australia's animals. While I regretfully admit that some parents may present a legitimate danger to their own children, I refuse to accept that twenty-five million parents in the United States should be denied any custody at all.

"It is time to reverse this vicious attack on the nuclear family by changing the way our courts deal with broken homes. As the first Libertarian member of Congress, I will work specifically to eliminate federal funding to states for subsidizing the breakup of families. I will also work in general to dramatically reduce the size of the federal government because I think you are smart enough to spend your money without Congress' help. This will allow families to keep more of their money, thereby eliminating the primary cause of divorce and separation.

"I know how important it is to have a loving family to turn to for support. I would like to do everything I can to ensure that every child in America has the opportunity to be loved and cherished the way my brothers and I were.

"Thanks, Mom.  Thanks, Dad."  --Michael Badnarik

So: Michael is a candidate who will represent your interests in your family no matter which district or state you live in, because it's all the same everywhere: as a Congressman, whatever he can do for one family will help all families.

What is our mutual need? You need a champion in Congress. I need to get him there. We need each other to make it happen. You need me to get him elected, and I need you to provide money and voices to make it happen.

I know things are tight for a lot of you. But I can't believe that more than a fraction of you can't afford $20 to $50 if you really thought it would make a difference.

Michael will make a difference. Politicians have sold you down the river, and they're never going to do anything to help you get back. Michael Badnarik in Congress is your best bet, and it's something you can make happen.

Back up your contribution with some word-of-mouth too. Ask everyone you know to contribute. Ask everyone who lives in our district to volunteer and vote for Michael.  District 10 stretches from Austin in Travis County, along Highway 290, all the way into Harris County near Houston.

Go to our website at www.badnarik.org right now. Become part of the solution.

Thank you!
Badnarik for Congress

Paid Political Advertisement--Election '06
 

Feminists are rightfully outraged at the comments of Australia's most senior Muslim cleric blaming women for rape. Sheik Taj Aldin al-Hilali said:

"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem."

He added: "If [the rape victim] was in her room, in her home, in her hijab [Islamic headscarf], no problem would have occurred."

However, the Sheik wasn't just sexist against women, but was also sexist against men, likening them to scavenging animals with neither morals nor self-control.

To learn more about the Sheik's comments, see Australian Muslim cleric blames women for rape (UK Independent, 10/27/06).

The Children's Rights Council's 20th Anniversary conference--"Shared Parenting in the 21st Century: Exploring the Best Interests of Children"--will be held in the Washington, DC area from November 3rd through the 6th. I will be speaking there, along with numerous interesting guests. To learn more about the conference, click here. To read the conference flyer, click here.

Late note from CRC CEO David L. Levy--"if money is an issue, people can come at the early bird rate of $250, and that includes meals throughout the conference. The Sheraton Crystal City hotel is $109 a night, but that people can ask the CRC for a room share. Call us at 1-800-0787-KIDS."

Fatherhood Leader, Author Dies

Robert Seidenberg, author of The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle, died last week following a courageous battle with cancer. I didn't agree with Robert on everything, but his book and subsequent commentaries are very insightful, and I highly recommend them. Robert was one of the first to grasp and detail the devastation wreaked by the use of fallacious restraining orders during divorce. Seidenberg founded Fathers for Virginia, an affiliate of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, in the mid-'90s.

Robert's Washington Post obituary is here. There are many touching memories of Robert which his friends and loved ones shared in his guest book here.

Glenn Discusses DV Awareness Month on WREC in Memphis

I discussed my new co-authored column October's Domestic Violence Awareness Month Ignores Many Victims (Omaha World Herald, 10/26/06, Daytona Beach News-Journal, 10/20/06, Louisville Courier-Journal, 10/4/06) on the Memphis Morning News on WREC AM 600 in Memphis, Tennessee on October 27, 2006.

What has always been fairly clear has now just been made perfectly clear--professor Stephen Hawking, one of the world's greatest minds, was physically abused repeatedly by his wife. Thankfully, Hawking is now finally divorcing his abuser. According to Hawking's nurse reveals why she is not surprised his marriage is over (Daily Mail; 10/20/06):

"'I'm not surprised,' said the voice on the end of the line when informed yesterday that Professor Stephen Hawking is divorcing his wife Elaine.

"'Not surprised at all - I just wish it had happened a long, long time ago.'

"The voice belonged to a nurse who used to care for Prof Hawking; she parted company with him, reluctantly, after Elaine became the second Mrs. Hawking in 1995.

"'She is the reason I left. It's the reason everyone leaves. It's impossible to reconcile the way she treated Stephen with the ethics of our profession. I don't want to say anymore because it brings back painful memories.'

"It is a sentiment shared by almost all Prof Hawking's friends and family; relief that he is now finally free of Elaine, and distress that it has taken so long; the couple have been together for 17 years.

"It is a relationship that, almost from the beginning, has provoked a storm of controversy - and suspicion - the wheelchair-bound Prof Hawking, 64, who has suffered from motor neurone disease since the age of 22, and the 'controlling, manipulative and bullying' (the words of another former employee) Elaine.

"Because for years there have been shocking rumours of violence and abuse against the vulnerable scientist - mental as well as physical - supported by his own children no less.

"There is unlikely to be any reference to these allegations in divorce papers lodged by both parties at Cambridge County Court, however.

"Prof Hawking has publicly denied such claims in the past. For a fiercely proud man who, though feted as possibly the world's most famous living scientist, must rely on others to help him perform basic human functions, it surely would have been the final indignity: to be forced to deny that he is a battered husband.

"Next month, he will receive the Royal Society's most prestigious prize - the Copley Medal - won by such luminaries as Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin and Albert Einstein....

"In 2000, detectives launched an inquiry after Prof Hawking made a number of visits to Addenbrooke's Hospital, Cambridge, suffering from cuts and bruises, and another inquiry was opened in 2003 after his daughter Lucy rang police.

"Prof Hawking declined to explain how his injuries had come about. A number of his former nurses, however, were in no doubt.

"They alleged that over the years his wife inflicted a catalogue of injuries on the vulnerable scientist: fractured his wrist by slamming it on to his wheelchair; humiliated him by refusing him access to a urine bottle, leaving him to wet himself; gashed his cheek with a razor, allowed him to slip beneath the water while in the bath, ensuring water entered the tracheotomy site in his throat; and left him alone in his garden during the hottest day of the year so long that he suffered heatstroke and severe sunburn.

"It is these allegations that police investigated.

"But a woman who worked for him at Cambridge University says the 'unexplained injuries' began 'many years before' the police became involved.

"'He used to regularly come in with bruises and cuts,' said the source.

"'I remember once he turned up with a black eye. I asked him; 'How did that happen Stephen?' He replied: 'I bumped into a door.' That was obviously my cue to shut up, so I did.' 'It was common knowledge that Stephen was very, very unhappy long before all the allegations appeared in the papers."

"'Before they were married they went on holiday to Israel and we heard later that they had a furious row and their hotel room was damaged [former nurses claimed that Elaine would 'throw things around the kitchen' during tantrums].'

"I remember asking Stephen why he and Elaine stayed together and he said: 'any relationship was better than none.'

"'In the end I left Stephen because I couldn't stand it. I felt very strongly that I could no longer carry on without feeling that I was colluding in what was happening.'

"Normally, the break-up of a marriage is the cause of immense sadness and regret. But today, the family and friends of Prof Stephen Hawking - indeed for everyone who knows and admires him - those emotions have been replaced by a profound sense of relief."

Read the full article here. As I've written on numerous occasions, research overwhelmingly shows that women are just as likely as men to commit domestic violence, and a significant minority of those injured in domestic violence are heterosexual men. To learn more about male victims of domestic violence, see my recent co-authored column Schwarzenegger Should Veto AB 2051 (Orange County Register, 9/20/06).

Hawking to Pay Huge Divorce Settlement to His Abuser

To add insult to injury, Stephen Hawking will now be paying out a large sum of money--in the millions, probably--to the woman who battered him. According to Hawking's nurse reveals why she is not surprised his marriage is over (Daily Mail; 10/20/06):

"[Elaine] will leave her second marriage considerably wealthier than she did her first.

"The couple's townhouse in Cambridge, purchased in 1992 and now worth $1.4 million is in their joint names.

"Moreover, he has amassed a vast personal fortune.

"More than 210,000 copies of his book A Brief History Of Time have been sold in the past eight years alone, netting more than $3.5 million. He has also made lucrative sums from other books.

"On Thursday, Mrs. Hawking, who has always denied marrying for money, cycled to the (former) marital home where she was understood to have attended a meeting with solicitors.

"'I have been told that - surprise - one of the stumbling blocks in the divorce is money,' said an old family friend."

Hawking and Anti-Male Bias

There are a couple of other interesting elements in the article on Hawking, including this section:

"Elaine was, as we know, originally Prof Hawking's nurse and joined the staff after he had a tracheotomy operation in 1985 - the result of a previous pneumonia infection which nearly killed him.

"The operation left him unable to breath unaided and in need of round-the-clock supervision.

"It was Elaine's former husband, engineer David Mason, who made the voicebox which created the robot-like vocal tone for which Prof Hawking is now famous.

"From the start, say friends, she set out to ingratiate herself with him, and, over a period of time, the family noticed the mesmeric hold the 'new nurse' was beginning to exert over her charge, and felt deeply uneasy.

"'She brainwashed him to think that she was the only person who could possibly look after him,' one friend recalled.

"'She was also really jealous of his children and the close relationship they had with him.'

"Matters were complicated when his wife of 26 years began having an affair in the Eighties - with, apparently, Hawking's tacit approval - with a choirmaster, whom she had befriended after his wife died of leukaemia.

"Elaine began accompanying Prof Hawking on trips abroad.

"Prof Hawking and Jane divorced in 1990.

"He finally married Elaine in 1995 but neither Jane or their three children
attended."

What's interesting about this is that I can distinctly remember that when Hawking and his wife Jane divorced in 1990, this was portrayed as yet another example of men dumping their faithful, devoted wives for a younger model. In fact, I can distinctly remember this being portrayed as "see, all men do it--even this guy who's crippled does it." Somehow the fact that Jane was having an affair before their break-up didn't seem to be part of the public discussion of the issue.

I discussed the myth that many men ditch their loving wives for younger women in my co-authored column The Rise in 'Gray Divorce': It's Always Hubby's Fault (Houston Chronicle, 2/19/06). I wrote:

"...the stereotype of the husband trading in his wife for a younger model is by and large a myth. The women in [a recent American Association of Retired Persons] study were 60% more likely to claim that they ended their marriages than the men were, and men were almost twice as likely as women to say that they never saw their divorces coming.  In contrast to the Porsche and trophy wife stereotype, the AARP study found that these divorced men had many serious concerns, high among them their fear of losing touch with their children after their divorces...Though nobody says it, 'dumped for a younger woman' is sometimes just a woman's cop-out for not taking responsibility for her own contribution to the marital breakdown."   

New Jersey family law attorney Theodore Sliwinski writes in his Divorcenet.com column New Jersey Custody and Visitation Rights:

"A new trend in family law is to have shared residential custody. This means that the children live with both parents. In my opinion this is really a scam that is used by many ex-husbands.

"This type of shared custody is primarily a ploy by ex-husbands to reduce their child support obligations. The more overnights that the husband has will translate into a lower child support award.

"I always recommend to all of my clients to reject a shared parenting plan. Furthermore, I always advise my clients to permit the non-custodial parent to see their children as much as possible. However, I don't permit my clients to agree to a shared parenting plan because in most cases it is just a ploy by husbands to pay lower child support."

It never seems to occur to this brilliant legal mind that the opposite case is just as applicable. In my co-authored column Louisiana's HB 315 Says One Parent is Better Than Two (Shreveport Times, 5/20/06) I wrote:

"Unfortunately, rather than putting the need to preserve children's relationships with both parents at the center of the discussion, advocates of HB 315 are instead focusing on child support. In Louisiana, like most states, how much time each parent spends with his or her children helps determine how much child support is ordered. Rep. Shirley Bowler (R-River Ridge), who authored the bill, asserts that dads seek shared custody as a way to decrease their child support obligations. She promotes HB 315 as a way to 'remove this angle' in the current law, which she claims divorced dads are exploiting.

"While it is true that there are fathers who put their pocketbooks above their children's best interests, Bowler and the bill's supporters ignore the obvious converse. If a dad may seek 50% physical time with his children simply to lower his child support obligation, doesn't it also hold that a mother may seek 85% physical time in order to increase it?"

Sliwinski's comments also reminded me of this brief but memorable
exchange on His Side with Glenn Sacks with feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte:

Marcotte: "Men want shared custody so they can avoid paying child support" Sacks: "Couldn't it just be that they want to be with their kids?"

I also wonder about the line "I don't permit my clients to agree to a shared parenting plan because in most cases it is just a ploy by husbands to pay lower child support." Does this mean that, when Sliwinski is representing a mother who wants to drop the vindictive female routine and adopt shared parenting, he can legally stop her?

Sliwinski can be reached at 732-257-0708 or by email at info@divorcecenterofnj.com.

When women kill, there's always an excuse for it. Example number I lost count a long time ago is out of England--Mother sentenced over son's death (10/23/06):

"A woman who started a fire which killed her baby boy has been sentenced to three years probation. Danielle Wails, 22, was on trial for murdering little Alexander Lee but pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of infanticide.

"She said she used her tongue to dial 999 after she was bound by the wrist by attackers but officers could find no sign of a break-in and eventually Wails admitted she had started the fire herself and responsible for her son's death.

"Paul Sloan QC, prosecuting, told the court: 'She has admitted infanticide on the basis that at the time the balance of her mind was disturbed by reason of not having fully recovered from the effects of giving birth to the child.'

"Two psychiatrists are of the opinion that the balance of her mind was disturbed."

Interesting that she was too mentally ill to be expected to care for her baby without murdering him but not too mentally ill to weave an elaborate plot to try to cover up her crime and deceive the police. Men's activist Jeremy Swanson is correct in a recent email he sent in which he wrote "Imagine the little boy's last seconds on earth before the fire consumed him. He would have reached for his Mother and called her name."

Comparing the severity of sentences is always tricky, particularly across state lines or, in this case, international boundaries. However, for what little it's worth, in reading of this case--where a woman who intentionally set a fire in order to kill her baby receives a "sentence" of a whopping 3 years probation--I couldn't help but think of the case of Texas teenager Gerardo Flores. In my column Alito and the Rights of Men (Los Angeles Times, 11/1/05) I wrote:

"Fetal protection laws now severely punish anyone who harms a fetus--except for mom. A Texas teenager named Gerardo Flores is now serving life in prison for the death of two fetuses even though his former girlfriend, Erica Basoria, acknowledged asking him to help end her pregnancy. According to Basoria, four months into her pregnancy she regretted not getting an abortion and punched herself in the stomach while Flores stepped on her stomach to induce a miscarriage. Basoria, who stood by Flores and cried when he was sentenced, could not be prosecuted because of her legal right to abortion."

Last week Reilly wrote about another remarkable dad in his column "Trumpeting the Father of the Year" (Sports Illustrated, 10/16/06). Reilly writes:

"QUESTION: What has four wheels, four feet, two eyes and one horn?

"Answer: Trumpet position number 7 in the Louisville marching band.

"Meet Patrick Henry Hughes and his dad, Patrick John Hughes--the only two-person marching-band member in college football.

"Patrick Henry, 18--born with a rare genetic disorder that left him without eyes, and with arms and legs that won't straighten--plays the trumpet from his wheelchair. Patrick John, 45, pushes the wheelchair. You can watch them roll during the halftime show at Cardinals home games. 'I was a little worried about the endurance factor at first,' says band director Greg Byrne. 'Not Patrick's. His dad's.'

"You think it's easy pushing a 165-pound man, in full uniform, around a spongy artificial-turf field, trying to keep up with 213 other band members and get to your spot in the A in CARDS and the L in U OF L, while not getting slammed by the person marching behind you--all on four hours' sleep because you work the graveyard shift loading planes for UPS? You try it.

"'My job is just to get, say, to the 32 1/2-yard line at the exact right time,' says the older Patrick, who doesn't wear the band uniform. 'Every now and then I'll take a mellophone in the back, but mostly it's been a blast!'

"'He hasn't dumped me yet,' young Patrick says, grinning.

"Dad also pushes his son to classes, sits with him and whispers anything written on the blackboard. After band practice they go home and eat dinner, then Dad goes to work at 11 p.m., gets off at 5 a.m., sleeps a little and gets up at 11 for breakfast, classes and band. If this guy isn't Father of the Year, I'm Liberace.

"Patrick John and Patricia Hughes, a sales assistant in a brokerage firm, have been going full-Patrick-ahead since he was born. 'My wife and I were sort of devastated at first,' the father says. 'I mean, we played by all the rules. We worked hard. She didn't have any alcohol during the pregnancy. Why us?' But then they started finding out why them. Dad, a violinist and pianist, found that he could calm his baby boy by laying him on top of the piano and tickling the ivories. By nine months young Patrick was tapping keys on the piano, mimicking his dad in a listen-and-play exercise. By two years old he was playing Sesame Street songs.

"Now the kid's a killer pianist and a monster trumpet player. Even though people have tried to stop him--like the ones at a performing-arts school in Louisville who discouraged the Hugheses from even applying--he has done nothing but succeed. Was all-state in band and chorus at Atherton High. Had a 3.99 GPA. Sang a duet with Pam Tillis at the Grand Ole Opry. Played piano at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. Put out a CD of 23 songs.

"So when he enrolled at the university, young Patrick asked to join the pep band, which guaranteed a precious seat at Cardinals basketball games. But director Byrne crossed him up. He asked him, 'Why don't you join the marching band?'

"Next thing you know, the teenager and his father were at band summer camp--12-hour days with only 90-minute breaks for lunch and dinner. Dad pushed like crazy, and young Patrick played the theme from Superman while being whirled around in his own giddy darkness.

"It about killed Pop. 'I was whipped,' he says. So he took the chair to a mechanic friend, who rigged it with bigger, wider wheels. That helped them get through the triple Axel of marching-band maneuvers: the dreaded Diamond. Two battalions of marchers come at each other in full stride, intersect, reverse, then split apart again. To pull it off, Dad has to pop a wheelie, spin the chair, try not to wipe out the entire wind section, then peel off the other way. 'It takes everything I've got to make sure I'm in step,' the older Patrick says. 'If I don't get there quick enough, or cut quick enough, I'm the lone cowboy out at the end of this thing. I don't want people to remember us as the kid in the wheelchair whose dad couldn't keep up'...

"Life with this kid just keeps getting more fun. 'We still say, Why us?' says the father. 'But now it's, Why us--how'd we get so lucky?'"

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com

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