|2 High-Profile NFL Players Arrested for DV—both Cases Are Questionable
Two NFL players were arrested for domestic violence over the holiday weekend, and each arrest is questionable. From USA Today's Shawne Merriman practices, says he didn't harm TV star (9/7/09):
San Diego Chargers star outside linebacker Shawne Merriman (pictured) said he did not harm reality TV star Tila Tequila (pictured) at his home early Sunday and added he was concerned for her safety because she appeared to be intoxicated.
The fact that Tila Tequila is lying about not being drunk that night and lying that she doesn't drink doesn't mean that she's lying about Merriman attacking her, but it certainly weakens her credibility. The fact that she apparently suffered no injuries from allegedly being attacked by an NFL linebacker also weakens her credibility. The San Diego Chargers seem to be tasking a moderate, "let's wait and see the evidence" approach, which seems very appropriate here.
Merriman was arrested and accused of choking and throwing Tequila to the ground as she tried to leave his home in suburban Poway. Tequila signed a citizen's arrest warrant charging Merriman with battery and false imprisonment. Both are felonies...
Merriman practiced Monday, then said he's convinced he'll be cleared...
Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, is best known for "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila," which ran for two seasons on MTV. The bisexual dating show featured men and women vying for Tequila's affections. She has also modeled for Playboy and other men's magazines.
Merriman said he was limited in what he could say. He kept referring to a statement issued through his attorney Sunday night.
"At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided," Merriman said in the statement. "We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety.
"I in no way caused any harm to Ms. Nguyen, however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported," the statement continued...
Also Monday, the owner of a downtown club where Merriman and Tequila attended a party Saturday night said his staff told him Tequila had been drinking and it appeared Merriman had ordered only bottled water.
"I feel sorry for the guy and I think the truth needs to be told," said James Brennan, who owns Stingaree, one of the city's top hangouts for celebrities.
Brennan said he normally wouldn't comment, but felt he should after seeing Tequila's tweet in which she said she's allergic to alcohol.
"It sounds like she's allergic to the truth," Brennan told The Associated Press...
"She wasn't like falling down or anything of that nature, but she was visibly intoxicated," Brennan said.
In a tweet Sunday, Tequila said: "I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila "Tequila" cuz the irony. I can't drink."
Merriman said he met Monday morning with team president Dean Spanos and coach Norv Turner.
"They're just all supportive, hopefully that we can move on from the situation as soon as possible," Merriman said.
The arrest of Denver Broncos rookie Richard Quinn is also questionable. Quinn's story is plausible but he doesn't seem have any evidence to back it, though his girlfriend doesn't seem to have any, either...
Boy Found After Mom Kidnapped Him from Father After Losing Custody
A mother and grandmother collaborated to kidnap a boy from his father (pictured together) after the dad won custody, and now are attempting to escape punishment by playing the abuse card. From ABC News' Custody Hearing Today in Case of Illinois Boy Hidden in Wall (9/8/09):
A court in southern Illinois today will begin determining custody of Richard "Ricky" Chekevdia, the little boy found hidden in a wall at his grandmother's house two years after disappearing with his mother.
To be fair, it's not impossible that the mother and the grandmother were in some fashion acting on the boys' behalf, such as in the Joyce Murphy case. In that case a mother kidnapped her daughter to keep her away from a sexually deviant father who had used false claims of Parental Alienation to wrest custody from a protective parent--exactly as her feminist defenders said.
It's the next step in getting the boy's life back to normal after he vanished in 2007 during a contentious custody battle between his father, Michael Chekevdia and his mother, Shannon Wilfong.
His grandmother, Diane Dobbs -- who had been charged initially with aiding and abetting the boy's disappearance --- was re-arrested Monday on a related charge.
The arrest came hours after Dobbs, then out on $1,000 bond, professed her innocence and took "Good Morning America" on a tour of the house where authorities say Ricky, 6, was hidden behind walls and in secret rooms.
ABC's Carterville, Ill., affiliate WSIL reported today that Dobbs and her fiance, Robert Sandefur, were re-arrested for harassing a potential witness after a woman called police to say the couple had threatened the life of her son.
Wilfong, who disappeared with Ricky after Michael Chekevdia won custody of the boy two years ago, remains in custody from her initial arrest on felony child abduction charges.
Chekevdia has yet to formally reunite with his son, but said he saw him from afar at a Labor Day picnic.
"I didn't get to touch him, I didn't get to talk to him but I saw him," he said. "And it's just a great feeling to see your child playing."
Dobbs told "Good Morning America" on Monday that she did nothing wrong in helping to hide her family and keep the boy safe.
She maintains that Wilfong disappeared with Ricky after police failed to properly investigate Wilfong's claims that Chekevdia has sexually abused Ricky, a charge Chekevdia has vehemently denied.
"I've been exonerated," Chekevdia said. "I have been cleared of all wrongdoing"...
Mother and son were found huddled in a crawl space Friday by police who were acting on a tip. They said it was clear that Ricky had rarely, if ever, ventured outside. Dobbs said she put the two in the hiding space behind a dresser when she saw police gathering outside.
After Michael Chekevdia won temporary child custody rights, Wilfong accused him of sexually abusing the boy. When child welfare workers found no evidence and awarded Michael Chekevdia custody, Wilfong disappeared with their son...
Investigators found the [grandmother's] house riddled with secret hiding places, including a hole in the floor and another hole carved into the wall behind a dresser.
"We let him out of the car, and he ran around like he'd never seen the outdoors," Illinois State Police Master Sgt. Stan Diggs said. "It was actually very sad"...
For the time being, Michael Chekevdia said he is happy to abide by the system and wait until child welfare workers determine that his son is ready to see him again.
"I have seen him at a distance and he looks well. ... He could look better. He's eating, he's sleeping, he's socializing very well," Chekevdia said. "And when they tell me that it's time, I'll go."
Much more likely, however, is that this is yet another example of one of the plagues of our time--mothers doing everything they possibly can to interfere with or destroy the relationship between their children and their exes. Let's hope they're reunited quickly.
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Jon Gosselin's Side of the Story
I don't like to see exes slamming each other publicly–I think it's bad for the kids. I also oppose the idea that because you're no longer in a relationship with someone, they must be despised and denigrated.
Additionally, I'm skeptical of claims of "emotional abuse." While I know that emotional abuse can be damaging and harmful, there are too many false claims and too often it's a way to wrap a DV rap around a man who did nothing wrong. It's also sometimes a deceptive and manipulative way of saying "my ex-husband (or ex-wife) did something I didn't like."
That being said, I do think there's some value in Jon Gosselin's latest comments about his ex Kate. Remember that when their marriage broke up and Jon began dating, he was widely vilified. This is a common sport in our society–whenever a high-profile marriage breaks up, much of the media and public chop 50 points off their IQs and engage in the ludicrous delusion that if they broke up, it must be all his fault. Gosselin has the right to defend himself.
Also remember that Kate has slammed him publicly, too, previous (I think) to Jon's public statements about her. And Jon's version of events is plausible–it's certainly something I hear quite often: Wife mistreats husband but is shocked when husband eventually leaves, then leads the vilification of the ex-husband when he finds someone new. Is that what happened with Jon & Kate? Perhaps.
From "I Don't Trust Her Anymore" (US Magazine, 9/7/09):
In a second except of his Good Morning America interview, Jon Gosselin slams estranged wife Kate once again, claiming that her "constant verbal "abuse" caused strife in their 10-year-marriage.
Read more here.
"Our relationship will never be fixed," he tells ABC News' Chris Cuomo. "… I don't trust her anymore. I was abused … I was beaten down … I'm not going back to that life style."
Jon, 32, also slams Kate, 34 - whom he says ended their marriage - for spinning a different story to the media about the collapse of their marriage.
Family Service Agencies are Missing 'Huge Opportunities to Help Children by Focusing only on Mothers'
Reflections on the Beginning of School & the Boy Crisis in Education
Police Arrest Man Owing $500 in Child Support; They Arrest the Child Too
DV Alarm Sounded in Maine - the Third-Safest State in the Nation
Study: Women Narrowing the Sexual Infidelity Gap
New Zealand Considers Child Support Based On Need, Not Income
New York Times Science Section Promotes Mythology about Men
Kids & Dads
80-Year-Old Single Father Raises 11-Year-Old Girl–'We Just Do It'
From Ford Turner of the Patriot-News–80-year-old single father prepares 11-year-old for middle school (8/31/09):
Kenneice Duncan, 11, is being raised by her 80-year-old step-great-grandfather, Glenn Graham of Middletown. Graham recently lost his wife to lung cancer.
I guess the 11-year-old girl keeps her great-grandfather young. I have an 11-year-old girl and she keeps me young and she’s so wonderful that if I needed to live to be 110 to raise her, I could probably do it.
Kenneice Duncan of Middletown will make the big jump to middle school on Monday, and she and Glenn Graham plan to handle it together.
Graham is raising Kenneice as a single parent in his Middletown home since his wife died on July 17.
Graham is 80. Kenneice is 11.
He is a former paratrooper who works two jobs. She is a Hannah Montana fan and wants to be a veterinarian and famous singer.
"We just do it," Graham said of keeping their family going.
Graham once jumped with the 82nd Airborne Division. He and Mildred Graham were married for 42 years. Years ago, her granddaughter had difficulties that prevented her from raising her own three children.
Glenn and Mildred Graham took over the job when each child was small. The older two have graduated from high school.
Kenneice was anticipating the start of sixth grade when Mildred Graham died of lung cancer at age 85.
She calls her step-great-grandfather "Glenny" and keeps an eye on him when he boards his motorcycle. He said he spoils her.
She said, "I like being spoiled."
I love this former paratrooper’s can-do attitude–"we just do it." A hero father.