A distraught father
struggling with overdue child support obligations and adverse
family court decisions committed suicide on the steps of the
downtown San Diego courthouse Monday. Angrily waving court
documents, 43 year-old Derrick Miller walked up to court
personnel at the entrance, said "You did this to me," and shot
himself in the head.
Miller is one of
300,000 Americans who have taken their own lives over the past
decade--as many Americans as were killed in combat in World War
II. America is in the throes of a largely unrecognized suicide
epidemic, as suicide has become the eighth leading cause of
death in the United States today, and the third leading cause of
death among adolescents. All Americans recognize that our
country is rife with violent crime, but few know that 50% more
Americans kill themselves than are murdered.
Who is committing
suicide?
For the most part,
men. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, males
commit suicide four times as often as females do, and have
higher suicide rates in every age group. There are many risk
factors for suicide, including substance abuse and mental
illness, but the two situations in which men are most likely to
kill themselves are after the loss of a job, and after a
divorce.
Because our society
strongly defines manhood as the ability to work and provide for
one's loved ones, unemployed men often see themselves as
failures and as burdens to their families. Thus it is not
surprising that while there is no difference in the suicide rate
of employed and unemployed women, the suicide rate of unemployed
men is twice that of employed men.
It is for this reason
that economic crises generally lead to male suicide epidemics.
During the Midwest farm crisis of the 1980s, for example, the
suicide rate of male farmers tripled. A sharp increase in male
suicide occurred after the destruction of Flint, Michigan's 70
year-old auto industry, as documented in the disturbing 1989
film "Roger and Me." Some suicide experts fear a rise in suicide
related to our current economic downturn.
The other most common
suicide victims are divorced and/or estranged fathers like
Derrick Miller. In fact, a divorced father is ten times more
likely to commit suicide than a divorced mother, and three times
more likely to commit suicide than a married father. According
to Los Angeles divorce consultant Jayne Major:
"Divorced men are
often devastated by the loss of their children. It's a little
known fact that in the United States men initiate only a small
number of the divorces involving children. Most of the men I
deal with never saw their divorces coming, and they are often
treated very unfairly by the family courts."
According to Sociology
Professor Augustine Kposowa of the University of California at
Riverside, "The link between men and their children is often
severed because the woman is usually awarded custody. A man may
not get to see his children, even with visitation rights. As far
as the man is concerned, he has lost his marriage and lost his
children and that can lead to depression and suicide."
There have been a rash
of father suicides directly related to divorce and mistreatment
by the family courts over the past few years. For example, New
York City Police Officer Martin Romanchick, a Medal of Honor
recipient, hung himself after being denied access to his
children and being arrested 15 times on charges brought by his
ex-wife, charges the courts deemed frivolous. Massachusetts
father Steven Cook, prevented from seeing his daughter by a
protection order based upon unfounded allegations, committed
suicide after he was jailed for calling his four-year-old
daughter on the wrong day of the week. Darrin White, a Canadian
father who was stripped of the right to see his children and was
about to be jailed after failing to pay a child support award
tantamount to twice his take home pay, hung himself. His 14
year-old daughter Ashlee later wrote to her nation's Prime
Minister, saying, "this country's justice system has robbed me
of one of the most precious gifts in my life, my father."
We'll never know
exactly why Derrick Miller took his life and if his suicide
could have been prevented. What we do know is that male suicide
is one of America's most serious public health issues, and it is
time to address it.
This column first appeared in the San Diego Union-Tribune
(1/11/02).
Glenn
Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's
largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com or
via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.